This is one of the most beautiful messages I have ever received: "I stumbled upon your UA-cam channel a few days ago. I just wanted to say thank you and let you know that your videos are being shown to drug addicts at a facility in Dayton, OH where they are making a real impact on our patients. This area has been ravaged by heroine addiction and I work as a counselor helping people turn their lives around. Many of the clients I work with have never heard the things found in the content of these videos. The content paired with the illustrations makes them memorable and easier to understand. Your videos are spreading good in the world and making the world a better place. Thank you." - Kyle W. It is both inspiring and humbling to think that these videos could provide a light to someone in a time of darkness. The true purpose of After Skool is self discovery. Know thyself. We're all at different places on the same journey. We're all fighting our own battles. The more we understand our true nature, the more we heal our past traumas and reconnect with our authenticity. And as corny as it sounds, we are all in this together. "For some strange reason I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. And you can never be what I ought to be until I am what I ought to be - this is the interrelated structure of reality." - Martin Luther King Jr. If you know someone struggling with an addiction, give them support, let them know that they are not alone and perhaps share this video. And if you like this video and want to help make more, please consider supporting After Skool on Patreon. Thank you www.patreon.com/AfterSkool
@@notkerrystolcenberg Was correcting a minor spelling error of someone with good intentions worth the miniscule dopamine shot to your brain you get for being "right"?
Reconnecting with your self, what a concept! ! Reminds me of what a philosopher said thousands of years ago; “ KNOW THYSELF First, and you will know all things “ or how about that green alligator who said; I have met the enemy and it is us !” In other words- be part of the solution, not part of the problem! Thank you for the insight 👍.
Stop searching for stability in unstable people or people in general. Try to find the root cause of the addiction and go from there. I too suffered from an addiction. Mine was to stimulates, whatever got me going. I was greatly over weight and lacked lots of energy. I decided to make healthier choices and start exercising. I knew that would provide me with energy eventually. I know each addiction is different and some harder than others to break. I’m just sharing what helped me. No one should go through this alone but unfortunately we do, in fear of judgement. I’m here for anyone who may want to chat.
Yes, ppl should do more research on the words they echo or parrot. Everyone has traumatic things happen to them, it is how we interpret and cope with the trauma.
I have alot of childhood trama, I never became an addict cause I saw what it did. But I am real tore up all the time. I thought the Army would help me move forawrd and become a man, but it made it worse. I tried counseling and it helped to solve the why but the pain and memories never leave. I understand how people become addicts and I feel for them the most.
Proto, I’ve been watching you since I was 12 man (I’m now 18). I have a question, and I would be touched if you would answer: Is it worth it to join the Army, or any other type of military service (from first or second hand experience)? I’ve been thing of joining for the same reason, to toughen up, but does that really turn out well or no?
🌸 same from moment I was a baby age 2yrs & half my abuse began. Despite my hardships all my life, I’ve stayed strong & never abused drugs, alcohol or did anything destructive to my own life. I realised feelings sorry for myself solved absolutely nothing but kept me rooted in self doubts etc. I just tried my best in my humble ways. I still get stress but I use meditation in nature like grounding or in my room, my favourite is the chakra meditation. It doesn’t matter what ever happened in the past cannot keep coming back to haunt us, if we break that focus and concentrate on something else. Also it had nothing to do with us, not our fault. I released that anger and detached from all the negativity associated with it and just broke free. I do simple things to make myself happy, I make sure I smile & laugh everyday and I make others happy. It was very important for me to never become like my abusers but to be someone better and to never stay a victim but to be a survivor 🕊
@@sunitafisher4758 This is great advice, better than I’ve gotten before, where people usually just give me yes or no answers. Thank you so much, really appreciate your input
This is why we need classes in schools like Personal Improvement & Growth; this, along with Personal Finance and Psychology are good for raising healthy adults.
Or how about we stop overpopulating the planet with shitting out more children and instead adopt the children who are waiting to be adopted? BUT MAH GENES!
I was having so much suicidal thoughts 10 years ago as a teenage, also suffered severe anxiety and mental disorder. I got addicted to Crack, spent my whole life fighting Crack addiction. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES sure of mycologist Pedroshrooms. Mushrooms literally got me off my feet and turned my whole life around. I am currently a housing manager for a recovery program. I wouldn't have been able to do that shit without psilocybin.
Thanks for sharing your story. That's rough I sympathize. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health. I will pray for you all.
There is a book entitled "The aware baby". It states based on various scientific research that children starting from birth heal every trauma or tension by crying. But only if parents stay there for them without judging. Crying is the single most powerful and healthy need a child can have. "Don't cry" and trying to suppresss it are devastating and the beginning of every addiction and behaviour problem.
In alot of cases I agree, but in alot of cases some children are manipulative at an early and will cry to get their way, its up to the parent or caregiver to know the difference!!
As a child from the 70s and growing up in 80s and 90s all crying got me was a shit ton of trouble or ass beating. So no . Crying would have been the worst thing I could have done
The self concept twists my noggin. The self in this video, I believe is "the higher self, or the true self". Then there is the baser self where most people live. Its selfishness and self centeredness. This self does not want us to look at it. It hides cunningly in many ways. With fear and projection...finger pointing and blame and abasement ego.etc. im starting to meet people who are and have been doing this kind of work. Mainly via 12 steps. It's not for everyone. The price seems fair to me. Maybe you might check it out.
This very summation blew my mind. So succinct. I’m very much diving deep into myself and figuring out my essence and it’s helping, all of it, and this is just so healing!
People treat addiction like a moral failing or mental weakness. It doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you someone struggling to cope with the pain of life.
A lot of the addicts I've known have the biggest hearts. It's truly sad how overwhelming things can be for us. And how heavy the past is, yet how difficult it is to let go.
lol, I just said addiction is exactly moral failing and mental weakness. What you do makes you bad, inclusively being useless and supporting the government (a criminal organization anywhere) childhood trauma DOES NOT lead to addiction. I had plenty and I'm not addicted to any drug except love (which I never had, my point exactly). Addiction comes from mental illness, which is a metaphor for lack of self education, and the core of self education is worship of truth and self (as a god). In other words animals get addicted, not real humans. Addiction comes from your feelings. Your feelings do not matter for determining the truth. If your soul is above your heart you will never be corrupted or addicted, and that is a sign of souless people
@@angrypidgeon1714 which truth are you talking about now? Please clarify that, we already have a plenty of them... you believe in soul... come on, just say that this is what you want to believe and live your life but don't be innocent to express your opinion in a way that put's what you live as the truth for everyone and making believe that addicted people are somehow below you in your own pyramid of self-truth. First truth is that truth do not exist.
In order to love something you need to understand it. The best place to start is with yourself. Once you understand yourself you have the ability to love yourself and love others. Is a tough journey but is worth the reward which is your inner peace. Stay blessed and powerful.
Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has no colors, rasicm, hate. He died for your precious souls. In this hellish world your soul is valuable, praying for you🙏
I'm addicted to sleeping No thinking. No stress. No pain. Basically no concious existence etc. Just solace. I have a hard time getting out of bed though...
Yea man same here, it’s as if I don’t want to live anymore and have accepted death, I just want to skip and skip the next day until the moment I want as if I’m traveling through time
I was addicted to sleeping too. Every day was pretty much a torture because once I opened my eyes, my mind was full of negative thought, like “shit, I woke up again”. Every time it was a struggle for me to get out of my bed and I constantly snoozed my phone alarm to have a bit more sleep. But here is the thing. Try to accept absurdity of life. If you have goals in life - great, push yourself to achieve them. If you don’t - that’s alright too, don’t create any for now, the main thing is not to give up. Wake up, do morning exercise, make up your bed, do your chores. Life is about constant moving. I understand that people have different backgrounds and for some of us it can be harder to fix our lives. But you have to push yourself in order to be the best version of you. You will lose battles in life, but you can’t allow yourself to lose a war.
"If u cant bond because you're traumatised, isolated or beaten down by life, you'll bond with something that will give you some sense of relief." "The opposite of addiction is not soberity. The opposite of addiction is connection."
My addiction was a physical and mental byproduct of what I thought I found as a solution to why I was so confused. The why of not understanding how my life seemed out of sync and not on the same page as other people, the why of I just didn't fit in. My solution seemed to me then was to inadvertently embrace a lifetime of consequences rather than find a better solution. Bottom line is three years ago I found my solution. I found a way readjust myself, with the help of others, to find inside my heart, the direction to a peaceful and decent life. I found the way to recovery.
This is why I swear by this to this day that what saved me from my addictions was to find and reconnect with my inner child self. Be in the moment, just like I did as a kid with no worries, no goals, just in the grass enjoying looking at the bugs on the plants. That's what saved me.
@@Dischordian How much experience do you have living as Ben? Addicts do sometimes choose to quit and succeed, you know. He didn’t indicate that it was easy or hard, that it was his first or hundredth try - he only agreed with the authenticity premise in the video. It seems that there are many commenters here that do not understand that the status of other people’s brain chemistry is not your call unless you are a professional with the prerequisite credentials and permission to make that sort of judgment.
@@sweetsugarjones I don't need any experience of "being Ben", just the working universally recognised definition of "addict".... An addict is someone who cannot just decide to stop using... That is why they are an addict! They are powerless to stop on their own unaided power.
@@sweetsugarjones it's clear that you place a lot of authority in totally the wrong hands, in the hands of those carrying framed diplomas etc.... Those with a long and often hidden history of totally failing to help people, and often increasing suffering as they go, it's clear that you desire to beleive that common people have no understanding, knowledge, or wisdom in there areas.
My brother passed at age 37 8 months ago after a lifelong battle with drug, heroin, and meth addiction. It felt like no amount of love shown could satisfy this inner emptiness he had. It was very hard. He died of cardiac arrest and they found 4 different substances in his system. He traveled the world, had many friends, but ultimately could never find himself and what he was looking for. I miss him every day.
Sorry to hear of your loss. I can relate to your brother feeling lost! I was a heroin addict for 11 years and as much as it helps with feeling lost and empty, it ultimately destroys everything. Now I'm in therapy and have been clean for 15 years
Sorry for your loss. My father was a lifetime alcoholic who just sat and drank and complimented himself, living in the house his father's money bought when gramps passed. My father never worked one day in forty years, and wow, was he selfish as hell, only turning the heat on in the family home for his reading chair and his bed, cooking a rich, big breakfast to eat for himself in front of his son who he prepared nothing for, just because he didn't want to eat alone. Finally abandoned by everyone around him, he died very selfish and alone. A major emotional black hole who lived and cared ONLY about himself, but still couldn't do without some attachment, which is what he used other people for. For the record, I went on to get my degree and do what I wanted to in life. Some people are just born broken, I guess.
This makes me want to weep. I’m so so sorry. That is heartbreaking. What makes this such a difficult topic is that no matter the outward love and opportunity, much of a person’s solutions come from within. I have have had some experience with this myself. Largely, my heavy drinking has sorted itself out. I don’t know how, but I’m happier without it. But still inside, there is a battle with self that has to be reconciled in order to move forward. I’m sorry for your loss. You do bring up a very important point
The worst thing about addictions is that they quietly become your go-to relief whenever a triggering event happens. As you continuously rely on your addiction more and more, your ability to deal with triggering events weakens, making you turn to your addiction even more. And as you rely on your addiction more, your life overall gets worse, which creates more triggering events as well as feelings of anxiety, worthlessness and depression, all of which are further triggers for your addiction. It's a vicious downward spiral that just strengthens and reinforces itself the longer you do it. And the longer you do it, the harder it is to stop, and the weaker your resolve to not indulge gets. It's hell. Literal hell.
It's called "dying", and our species used to do it in the natural way. What is unnatural and I think unique to our species (and maybe dogs) is that due to the synthetic lifestyles of civilization, we CAN experience a psychological or spiritual death, or experience something traumatic that can make an individual become trapped in some torture chamber within the hive of their own psyche (ala the surviving female victim in True Detective, or The Hound from GoT) combined with a behavioral habit that is Created by that individual as an INEFFECTIVE coping mechanism (in that the process just makes it worse & worse) rather than the radical acceptance of their own feeling/behavior in response to the event... as well as ACCEPTANCE from another trusted psyche (ala The Hound & Arya in season 4 of GoT when he tells her how he was burned).
I would call myself an alcoholic, but I don’t turn to alcohol when I’m stressed. I do it in a very cyclical and regimented way. I allow myself two hours at the end of the night to binge drink. It has no temporal connection to any issues throughout my day. It happens the same way every night no matter what my day was. I never reach for a drink when I’m stressed because then I would have more than two hours. I know what happens when I drink for more than two hours. I guess this is being a functional alcoholic.
No, silly, this stuff comes in layers. It comes slowly to those who are looking. Seeking. Be patient with yourself. Kind. Gentle. Give yourself a big warm hug from me. More will be revealed.
I am a therapist at an in-patient facility... this is a clear and concise explanation of how both attachment and trauma drive our thoughts and behaviors.. These are emotional injuries.... This video is the core of trauma informed therapy.... I will be showing this frequently.
Hello I just read your comment and I agree with you 100%. I’m 57 years old and have an addiction. My childhood was sad and confusing and full of abuse and trauma. My addiction became almost like a hug with love attached. My addiction made me feel good in a nasty mean spirited world around me. This video really hit home for me. M
So true,I was molested /beaten every week at age 7 and in teenage years drugs and alcohol took those thoughts away.I’m sober now in my 40s and the pain is still here.Please cherish your children and protect them from ALL.
Same! I’m 24 and became a heavy drinker from 21-23. I realized I was going down a dark path and had to confront those things. It was hard and I still struggle everyday smh
@@Galacticgirl717 It’s not your fault.Im off the drugs and alcohol now,have been for a while now.I surround myself w good people now as well.Thank you for caring though,I appreciate it.
They probably were not loved or nurtured either. Humans cannot provide what we don't have or donnot know of. It's up to us to self educate, connect with others with the goal of healing themselves and break the cycle by giving our children what we never received. Blessings to you 🙏
Do yall not remember that a SHIT TON OF OUR PARENTS WERE MADE POST WAR PRE SEXUAL LIBERATION. they were the summer of love kids left to raise themselves. Then 90s moms were like fuck no im not being a housewife then left, and dads had to step up, til abt 2010. when everyone gave up on us and SOCIAL MEDIA BECAME OUR PARENTS. i mean who is even to blame, cycles?,time?, or PILL SALESMEN" promising to fix everything if u have enough insurance ,"on every channel billboard youtube ad and bench ad u drive past. Its suggestive selling playing on our inner most traumas for PROFIT!!!! no one is interested in getting us sober clear connected or loved without a price. Only we can look at what we know is wrong inside ourselves and talk about it. Talking about it stops hiding it and others get braver and connections like #me too are made. Where is that movement for the self imploding drug addict, not possible bc we fear legal retaliation for admitting use. Lets keep it going and change the things we talk about along the way.
The thumbnail says it all. Addicts want to reconnect with their childhood self and others. When they don't, they seek anything that gives pleasurable relief from the pain. And they feel the warmth they wish they still had.
That's the best case scenario. Usually you will settle for just the mental pain relief without any pleasure what so ever. Or even just something that slightly alters your mood, whether it be something as simple as too much caffeine or a drug you usually don't like but it's the only one available. It's the closest thing i've seen to a true Hell on earth. And yet you stay there, like an idiot... 🤦♂️ I'm just glad I made it out alive. 👍
@@landryprichard6778 The only thing that's left is to support each other and try to get people to not start in the first place. Thanks for your support my friend. Lots of love to you too. ❤️
@@NotThatKindOfKiwi86 - It’s not just about covering up inner pain; sometimes it’s just for the pleasure. The problem starts when you get to like the pleasure so much it becomes a habit which begins to derail your whole life. Sure, childhood traumas make some of us more addiction-prone than others but I suspect that even the best adjusted kids who had idyllic childhoods can fall into addictions.
@@NotThatKindOfKiwi86 I just wanted to add that the powers-that-be love this. They market off of pain and suffering, because they are heartless sociopaths who have their own vacuum within. They weren't born evil, but, in their own attempt to find peace, they seek domination and control outside themselves. This has to end...or we will.
"Addiction is NOT the primary problem. it's an attempt to SOLVE a problem. " this❤ I needed this . battling my fetynal addiction. After five months clean I relapsed. I'm now three months clean , taking the sublocade shot and feeling soooooo much better . UPDATE: 11-4-2022 I'm now 8 and a half months and for once I can actually see myself living life without strips or a shot. I never really knew how I was going to stay clean once I did decide to get off sublocade/suboxone..... But I'm starting to feel like it really is possible for me. And in the near future. It definitely hasn't been easy but damn has it been worth it ♥️
@@bryanwinchell8065 very very interesting. I looked into it alittle bit last night, definitely going to do alittle more digging because from the like 30 mins I put in last night, definitely something worth doing more research. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!
@@heiroot thank you ❤️ I truly do appreciate that. Two weeks shy of 8 months. I definitely still get cravings but it's a different kind of craving, I don't crave the actual fetti anymore, I just crave feeling numb sometimes. Hopefully the work I'm putting into my recovery, getting back on psych meds while going to therapy isn't for nothing. I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to share your very much appreciated comment 💕💕
I would like to point out that childhood trauma is NOT an excuse to get addicted to heroin. there is absolutely nothing wrong with using heroin recreationally in my opinion, but I have a huge problem with heroin addicts. heroin addicts give us responsible users a bad name and are part of the reason why the stuff is illegal. want to use but don't want to get addicted to heroin? here is some advice: -don't inject, its insanely euphoric and dangerous. save injecting for retirement. just snort/smoke it until then, or take it orally. -don't use more than 1-2 times a year.
Is there anyone who wasn’t somehow hurt in their childhood? Childhood is a magical dream-time. To be wrenched from it is traumatic. OK, so we all suffered to varying degrees, but we all suffered.
If everyone’s been hurt in the childhood then surely it’s just normality? We all have to leave the mother’s breast at some time, and yes, it’s going to be traumatic... for a while.
throughout the past year, i was in severe heroin addiction. now, I am recovering. proud to say that now I am 5 months sober, and that I love this video
Yes! Connecting with authenticity is KEY! The parts of authenticity i have suppressed is: *anger towards others; *disapproval of others' actions; *disagreement with others; *boredom in their presence *taking my own route or actions when it conflicts with theirs.
Thank you for this message. I was lost on how to search for my authenticity. I am authentic, but I do not know to what extent, I am almost completely authentic when looking at the things I can see, but I don't know if there is something I don't know about, haven't realised or found yet that is making me inauthentic. I don't feel anger towards others, but I don't know if this is a personality trait of mine, being really calm and all that. Previously I suppressed disagreement with others and taking my own route or actions when it conflicts with others. Could you please elaborate on what you meant by "Boredom in their presence"? I am not sure I quite get that. Cheers, thank you really much! Actually.
Recovering at the age of 26.. it was like unlocking a closet that my 6 year old self and 16 year old self tumbled out of, my traumatized teenaged self has been watching my traumatized child self and they're both pissed off and visibly neglected and now my job is to take care of all 3 of us at once. I could have felt things the first time!
So happy for you and everyone in these comments ❤️ Being the parents for ourselves we always wanted. And the best thing is, when we’re our own source of love, it never leaves us :)
When he said that trauma is a divorce, your mother’s depression, your dad’s alcoholism, your parents arguments... he just listed my whole childhood. I’m just starting to unravel how traumatizing events in my life have affected my addiction and I’m middle aged. My hope is that more people look to therapy, support groups, and other healing modalities as entire nations struggle to deal with the fallout of trauma. We deserve better. And we must break the cycle of trauma and abuse.
He said that those things are not traumas, but traumatic and that the real trauma isn’t what happens to you but what happens inside of you . But i can definitely relate brother.
Brought me to tears my childhood wasnt traumatic but my parents didnt know how to show love i was in the middle and kinda got lost in the sauce i guess
My parents didn’t show us or each other love at all. To show your emotions was weakness to them. It took me many year to be able to cry in a funeral or tell a boyfriend that I loved him and give him attention in public.
Same here, my parents didn't (or more likely) couldn't really show affection to others, themselves and even each other, the only emotions I saw them embodying were anger or the occasonials fits of rage (not that much but it gaves an idea). I'm not like them on this point, I never had a problem to express my feelings, as a matter of fact it's quite the opposite, I'm usually over the top, it's quite the handicap.
Just recently my mom walked in on me watching this video and asked me what it is about. So i explained the video to her then she say “this is bullshit. I gave you so much love when you are a child yet you grow up and having overeating problem.” Lol enough proof for this video.
Many don't understand the difference in conditional vs unconditional love. Children need the latter. Traditional Western parenting attempts to control behaviour by doling out love and approval only when the child pleases the parent. But in reality, it's in those hard "unlovable" moments children are crying out for love and connection the most.
I am so sorry about your experience. Your mother likely has trauma herself but she is unable to deal with it, that is NOT your fault either. I am proud of your for looking into yourself to transcend. I wish you all the luck in reconnecting with yourself. Blessing and love unto you.
@mermaid girl It will get better, I promise. I had overeating problems too (and a mother like that). Stay mentally strong, there is so much info out here to help you step by step unlearn the negative beliefs you have about yourself and the world. Focus on your career, getting to a safe place and hopefully live by yourself :) . Redefine what the world means TO YOU. You are allowed to have boundaries
I don’t suffer from addiction but this really touch me. My dad died of cancer when I was 16, he was a heavy smoker. One of the last words he said to me was “Cancer is in part an acummulation of bad energies, don’t let this happen to you” I think he was talking about his depression about his childhood traumas, he was a strong man but he recogniced the importance of therapy too late. I love you dad, I’m grateful because your death thought me a lot to become who I am now. (Sorry for my bad english)
A mi también me tocó heavy esto... Casualmente mi viejo se murió de cáncer a los 17 (también por fumar)... y también empezó terapia cuando ya no había mucho por hacer. Aprendés de la situación, sí, y una de esas cosas que aprendés es cuánto necesita uno a un padre a medida que va creciendo. Hoy a mis 29, con un hijo, este vídeo me dejó no diría hecho percha, pero, afectado, seguro.
@@alister_ De todos modos he tomado esa vivencia como un aprendizaje y ahora siento que realmente entiendo qué es lo importante en la vida y qué no lo es... eso me ha ayudado mucho a convertirme en la persona que quiero ser y me sacado de un montón de problemas y situaciones de las que no me hubiera dado cuenta si no fuera porque pasé por esa experiencia traumática en concreto. Por más que mi padre haya muerto y me haya dejado un vacío gigante creo que mi vida me pertenece solo a mi y que yo tengo el poder y la voluntad de vivirla feliz y tranquila a piacere... es algo que seguro tanto tu papá como el mío hubiera querido para nosotros... su dolor en su partida, en gran parte, fue por el dolor que nos dejarían a nosotros cuando se fueran... no hay otra... hay que continuar... te mando un abrazo :)
@@florSaxinetti Totalmente acertado lo que comentás. Estas experiencias nos forjan, y mas aún cuando con el pasar de los años. Te mando un abrazo enorme para vos también estimada. Éxitos.
6 months clean, from a heavy 3 years of cocaine Abuse. I’ve OD’d many times and lost everything. I come from the foster system and lived a very traumatic abuse ect. I’m so glad I’m on the way upwards lost everything and everything to Cocaine. How the hell my nose septum Is still Intact Is beyond my comprehension. Wishing peace and love to all
I’m currently a meth addict in recovery. I relapsed yesterday night into the morning. I’ve been smokin dope since I was 15 first time I used it was 2 days before my 15th birthday as well as smoked black. I’m dependent on weed to help keep me calm Nd stable. I struggle with bipolar disorder. I just started takin meds again. Im doin really well I’m happy consistently workin out Nd I’m actually bouta graduate high school this year on time. I’m so grateful for that. I really didn’t think it was possible. Im never gonna give up no matter how hard it gets I will forever try to be and stay sober. I want a better healthier life for myself Nd the people around me
YOU GO MANUEL! Although we have never met each other I wish to let you know I support you! It always creates hope in us humans when we see a young person change for the better. Life can throw a lot at us, but fighting it is what makes us stronger, so please keep fighting. Congrats on your near graduation, I really hope you find something you love to do and stick to it. Although many may not support you or will want to change you, there is always going to be people out there who will support you and will help you through this! God bless you and good luck!
Manuel, I am 55. I drank my first alcohol at around 8. In the past thirty years there have been only a handful of days when I did not drink. All of this advice is helpful but it doesn't help the physical part. Indeed, most anti-addiction counseling amounts to "do what you know you should and suck it up" (I went to drug rehab twice as a teenager) They rarely, if ever, provide you with the tools to deal with your physical changes. Part of the problem is your body is used to what you are addicted. Two words: Wim Hof. When I saw that Jordan Peterson made a video with Wim I didn't watch it for some time. My first impression of Wim Hof was that he was a hippie mystic. Further investigation led me to the knowledge that there was a strong scientific basis behind his method. I am now at three months plus without a drink and rarely even crave it. Those few times which I have I simply did the breathing and felt better. Try it! It is totally free and only takes a few minutes a day. ua-cam.com/video/nzCaZQqAs9I/v-deo.html
To recover oneself one has to have a community to relate to. Loneliness or emptiness, not being around other people is problematic for me. I need people around me to confirm my authenticity.
I think many individuals do understand. Our problem, sociologically speaking is way more complex and difficult to address because the individual loses its sense of self in the mob.
Humans fundamentally have freewill, as long as the individual focuses on him or herself he will have greater control in his or her life. stop with excuses.
@@mistycloud4455 Trauma causes all kinds of confusion and identity issues, which controls behavior, it's not an excuse it's reality. People like Gabor Mate doing work like this to solve the trauma problem is how the world is going to heal.
I agree. I dont agree with every word in every video on this channel, but the drawings perfectly represents em. Great work here im glad i found the channel....or did it found me?
As someone in recovery AND therapy, I must say that this is the most concise description of the connection between childhood trauma and addiction I've ever seen.
We have become a society that values money above all else. And short term, if there's no money in making people better or healthier, we tend not to prioritize the behavior
@@Skizzy461 Except the focus isn’t about making people healthy, it turns toward keeping people sick with the idea that we’re making them healthy. I’m not disagreeing, just an observation. Beautiful video though. Hopefully Mr Mate has more material on this subject. I enjoyed it
@@EnergyTVify do the things that you are affraid of doing it, and become a real ALPHA MAN, fuck fear and dont give a f about anyone opinion! Dont be evil man, be GOOD man but not coward, be FEARLESS. Get yourself a beautiful girlfriend/wife, and successful job, and LAUGH in the face of the one that was abusing you. Never be soft, BE HARD !! And fuck fear
I realize now i never even knew who i was still dont know who i am spent so much time looking for somebody to love me did soo much for attention from anyone i never learned to love myself for who i am not what makes people attracted or love me
The hardest part about living with depression is it makes you not care about your life enough to try for positive change. Its hard not to just give yourself over to something like an addiction when you regularly have suicidal thoughts anyway, but are too scared to actually take your life. So you give in to self destruction and addiction in hopes that it will eventualy take you instead. Like a longer way of killing yourself. Because if you die to an "accidental overdose" it is seen as a tragedy but suicide is seen as selfish.
Do you know Jesus? He can help you. Call on Him. Receiving Jesus through the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass not only on Sunday but daily if possible, frequent Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, and frequent Confession (weekly if possible) keeps me on the bright side of life. There are RCIA programs in each Catholic parish. Consider exploring it. The Sacraments Jesus left us are powerful! (Why the enemy always trying to snuff them out!) I wish you a beautiful life! Jesus is soon returning. RSVP today! Take care and God bless you! ❤️
@@jeremiahbriney4899 No anger - no addiction. Which means you haven't found yours. It happens. If you have been covering it up for a long time it will be difficult to uncover. None the less no pain - no need for pain relief.
@@LilyRose-theOne not really. U can have two people have the exact same experience. Could be siblings n yet how they internalise the experience is what makes the difference.
@@Shiggystardust - when siblings were involved in a serious car crash, it doesn’t mean that the car crash wasn’t traumatic because one of the siblings or both were tough and weren’t affected internally too much by this incident. It was traumatic for them, only the degree how this trauma affected them is what makes the difference.
@@LilyRose-theOne you wouldn't know it was traumatic for them unless they felt that way themselves. hence why trauma can only really be something that happens inside of you, not to you. how you feel about a traumatic experience dictates whether or not you have been trauamtized by that experience. two people can experience the same traumatic event but it can be possible for one person to not have been effected by it at all; meaning they wouldn't be traumatized.
@@chantalreneehayles7976 - really? Show me a girl that was raped and wasn’t affected by it at all, or a person who was hit by a car and wasn’t affected by it at all, or a person who was beat up and wasn’t affected by the experience. Traumatic experience always affects your energy system. It only the degree of how it affects you makes the difference.It varies from person to person, but trauma is always traumatic.
Yeah seriously. This video hits the nail on the head for the most part, but it's definitely not _just_ childhood trauma that drives someone to do this. There can be external factors. What made it so hard for me to stop doing drugs was that I lost motivation due to how bleak and hopeless the future appeared to be; global warming, 6th mass extinction ,growing amount of non-biodegradable trash and chemicals infesting our rivers and oceans...then there's politics, ugh. It's like what's the point man?
@@anthonyitaliano7316 of course there are lots of signs the world is going to shit. But we do have some control over our personal lives. At least until our city gets flooded or a nuke goes off...
Childhood really is the root of everything in life. I’ve spent most of my life trying to rediscover my inner child. Even the search for a good woman to love is, I realise, a desire to return to the warm embrace of my mother’s bosom.
Just wanna say thanks that I can see my problems now more clearly, I will try my best to find myself again and become the won my younger self always wanted to be. Wish everyone out there having problems a lot of blessing and support 🙌🏼
I would like to point out that childhood trauma is NOT an excuse to get addicted to heroin. there is absolutely nothing wrong with using heroin recreationally in my opinion, but I have a huge problem with heroin addicts. heroin addicts give us responsible users a bad name and are part of the reason why the stuff is illegal. want to use but don't want to get addicted to heroin? here is some advice: -don't inject, its insanely euphoric and dangerous. save injecting for retirement. just snort/smoke it until then, or take it orally. -don't use more than 1-2 times a year.
Same…I’m still trying to find what the trauma was. It’s hard to narrow it down because I can always remember being distant and withdrawn from most circumstances involving people.
@@katerhinex To be honest, I lost a lot of relationships as a result of my binge drinking and I got embarrassingly drunk in front of my oldest and best friend. As a result the next day I was so terrified at the possibility of losing his friendship that I made the decision to quit drinking. I had found something more important to me than getting blackout drunk, and I gave up the only thing that could destroy it. If you’re struggling with addiction, I sincerely hope you find something just as valuable. ✌🏻
This is so important...People often associate addiction with alcohol, drugs and stuff like that. But addiction can mean a lot of things. I developed an ED and I get "high" on the feeling of my empty stomach and the dizziness that comes with a few days of not eating. That's why its completely useless in this cases to just tell someone eat more or eat less, because its not about the food, its about the behaviour and the addiction behind it.
The high you get is your liver releasing glycogen. It stores it and releases it when there is no food. People that fast also experience it. Ive felt it once or twice while fasting. But I love food so I rarely fast.
I struggle with porn/masturbation addiction so trust me brother I feel you addiction can be anything. Let’s keep educating and following dr. Gabors mate’s advice… it will save us. I’m praying you 🙏😀
“So, what is it that people find when they recover? They find themselves.” This truth needs to be shouted from the rooftops. We, as humans, should want nothing more from others than for them to know and be themselves. Thank you for this video. 🖤 Sober from heroin and opiates since April 26, 2012.
That's my case . They are manipulative they tell me they love me but when I do something I love and it isn't what they want I'll get lectures and lectures for that until I leave and close my room and cry as much as I can . Now I don't even know who I am . I have severe people pleasing problem so I don't know how I should act and stuff . I literally live in my room imagining that someone is watching me a d act how they would want me to . Everyday All day long this is my reality which I want to end .
@@bogosbinted._. Maaan I relate so much to that. I find it bizarre and even surrealistic to think that I could have been a real person. That I could have had authentic likes, interests and feelings. Everything about my personality is so fake. I smoke weed every day or else I can't stand the boredom. I wish I could die as well
@@franacha bro if I could get weed I would but now I can't . And to add to the misery they removed my door knob and now I would have to wait to be alone before I cry frl . Toxic parents are the worst kind . I haven't ever been to any party and dating that's just so so far away .
@@bogosbinted._. Yes, toxic parents should never have had children. But here we are, the failed experiments. But I don't believe that there will be a time for me. I'm 28 and my true personality has been gone for more than 20 years. My life is wasted and I am a fake person. A bod without a personality. I can't die, because of my family. But I surely wish I could go
I had a really messed up childhood. I discovered that the world can be a very dark place at a very young age. My mind came up with things that no child should ever imagine. Since it’s the beginning of the year I should dedicate the new year to finding the ME that I was proud of. Self improvement has been my personal goal these past few months and this video gave me a whole new perspective.
Welcome home brother. Its a long road ahead but keep improving yourself everyday. A little bit more positive each day and a little bit happy. Im on the same road myself. Full of uncertainty but im not afraid anymore. Excited what tomorrow will bring! Cheers! 🍻
@@MarleyMa24 that's very interesting, parenting inner child. Correcting our self about the mistakes we did in the past and this time there's no outside influence, just ourself teaching ourself to become better
Just got clean after about 12 years of opiates. The most eye opening thing I've noticed is how many people comment how something is different about me. It's weird how impactful that is for my sobriety
Saw this quote the other day: “Sometimes, the only reason why you won’t let go of what’s making you sad is that it was the only thing that made you happy.”
That’s how I feel when I look back at my childhood - it was super violent and chaotic…but I did have good moments. When it snowed, when I played with my siblings (even though we fought a lot), when I would go to camp, when we’d get Chinese or pizza for dinner. It’s very - very - difficult for me to be able to remember any positive memories without the pain brought with it. It makes me happy to remember but also anxious.
I started doing drugs since my teenage. Got addicted to heroin for over 16 years. Heroin addiction actually destroyed my life. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Amen God bless people. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health.
@@AmandaKimberly-vp7jnCan you help me with the reliable source A. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in France. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.
@@MilitaryBase-wt8jrI wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence. How can I get contact with him? Is he on insta??
Our generation is starving for more voices like this. Compassionate, gentle, dare I say feminine. You can literally hear the humility and magnanimity in the tone of his voice. People don't respond to exhortations from the pulpit, but to the soft loving-kindness that feels their deep rooted pain and respects it
"Compassionate, gentle, dare I say feminine." this isnt feminine talk. this is how people with an actual head on their fucking shoulders view things. its pathetic how not being a jackass is considered feminine.
@@waynerenolds3955 right? can't believe they conflate basic human decency & compassion as with femininity. because in that case, i wish everyone in the world were feminine. 😅
I have been addicted to: porn, marihuana, social media, relationships, bad friendships, stealing, casual sex, videogames, and even youtube. I still have a "relationship" with my mom, but now i see, that actually we never had one. Is very hard to recover from that, and now being an adult i struggle a lot with work, friendships, and i can't enjoy anything i do. I rediscovered recently that i like to sing a lot, but i always feared of actually learning and improve the way i do it, or even i was afraid to do it at all in front of people. After watching this, i think i know what to do. Thank you.
i felt this. i recently have slowed down on certain addictions related to the internet / social media due to the fact that i literally noticed how it was changing me. my addiction to marijuana has never slowed and intact it seems like it grows with the stress in my life. always looking for the next strain to try to search for that splendid high that never seems to come because i’ve never taken a tolerance break over probably a week, & even that might be a stretch to say. i always sabotage relationships in order to protect myself but what i end up doing is hurting myself and it turns into a cycle because i AM being genuine but then my insecurities begin to take over my soul. my mom and i have a distant relationship as i moved out at like 19 for freedom & a relationship and she moved to a diff state so i barely get to visit since i’m just working and drinking/smoking my life away… i haven’t seen my grandparents in a little bit and everytime i do, i cry. my great grandma makes 1 year in april since she died and i haven’t been the same since. i know this will get lost in these comments which is why i’m writing it but i truly haven’t expressed these feelings to anyone and it feels like nobody would understand. everyone has a solution for things they haven’t gone through.
This is 100% accurate. If there's no or little trauma people have limits and stop doing things they know isn't great for them but people with bad trauma will do almost anything to alleviate it. Because it's actually that bad.
And this is not just about addiction. The corona crisis shows me, as a psychologist, how many people are traumatized and how much their subsequent need to conform alienates them from their feelings and their needs. It is shocking to me. And authentic people who can feel that something is profoundly wrong stand very alone.
@@patrickmclean9796 I know exactly what you mean. We are not that alone, though... But shocking nevertheless how most people are not connected with themselves. As a psychologist, a have a lot of empathy for them, but admittedly feel a bit overwhelmed. A patient of mine said last week that it seems to him that the whole world has turned into a psychiatric ward. Well, I couldn't object to that.
I suffered from many forms of childhood abuse in my early years. I have CPTSD. I have an ACE score of 7. One of things that I've learned is that addiction is indeed not a personal fault. It is literally the mind and body using a survival technique to keep living. I know that without my addictions I would not have survived this long. Though my life span has been dramatically reduced by the trauma, abuse and neglect. Not the addictions. Everything Dr. Gabor presents is true. I know it is true because I lived that life and I came to the same conclusions in my studies and recovery. It's not your fault. These are critical words every addict needs to understand. It's not a personal failing. It's a survival technique. Get help. Help for your addiction but most importantly for the source of your addiction. Your trauma, abuse and neglect you suffered as a child. Learn to love yourself. It's really, really, really hard to learn to love yourself unconditionally. But it will change your world and how you live. You didn't get the love and nurturing you needed. You probably got the opposite like I did. But you can be the foster parent for your inner child or children. Be the loving, kind, nurturing parent you needed and still need. I promise, it will be the best thing you ever do. Of the decisions I've made in my life, my best, by far, was taking up the challenge to heal. It's been incredibly hard but find a good therapist for trauma, I repeat, for trauma, and your life will get better. I love me now, like I used to love me before the abuse became too great and destroyed my identity and left me broken for decades.
I cried at the end. Reconnecting with myself after years of addiction And pain is intense lots of crying but it feels so good and freeing. Let's all wake up and reconnect without ourselves and the beauty of God and nature ❤️❤️❤️
But letting go of one self, letting go of the ego wich is attached to the past, the future, the present is the ultimate freeing releaving liberating state you can have aswell ,be in , there for addiction. There are less harmfull ways for the body though.I recommend buddihism. For example listen to; Ajahn Brahm, Letting go, etc. Wich can help.
i’ve only discovered my deep inner trauma recently with my therapist and watching this made me realize a ton. no longer am i mad at my mom, but feel empathy for her because she didn’t get the love she wanted growing up- ending up in not knowing how to handle me. it was never anyone’s fault.
Patrick Teahan is an excellent therapist on UA-cam and he believes in holding the parents accountable. Saying they were abused (like I always told myself so I tried to forgive their poor parenting through compassion)doesn’t cut it, according to Patrick. Your mother, just like both of my parents and step parent could have chosen to get therapy instead of passing down the generational trauma. All the best to everyone here, I wish us all healing and a more peaceful gentle life.
@@HereComesKarmaYour comment is dumb, our parents didn't have phones or computers in their time so they didn't have access to information like childhood trauma or breaking the cycle at their fingertips like we do, therapy also wasn't a common thing back then.
@@HereComesKarma My grand mother chased my father with a meat cleaver. I only got beatings. Once I gave up my anger, I helped my dad heal. We had about 15 good years together before he went in the hospital.
THIS THING! Is the most fucking eye opening shit in my life in a long while. Recovering from gambling addiction that lasted for 10years and this video just gave me the final blow to go out there and RE-CONNECT.
literally so happy to hear this, i can’t imagine everything its taken to get this far but as far as the future i really hope that you find what you are searching for and are satisfied🤍🤍
I went looking for the little child inside and made friends with that child in me. We cried together about her wounds. We hugged 🤗 and I promised to love and protect ❤ her. In doing so I protect myself from harm.
I had a housemate once. He was heavily addictive and traumatized to the bone. One morning I came downstairs to find an empty beer bottle on the table. He had peeled off the label, leaving a layer of white paper behind. Then, using a fineliner pen he created the most gorgeously intricate design for a beer bottle ever. It could easily have been designed for a professional job. In the middle it said: "Beer is a friend."
This hit me hard. Beer is definitely my friend. Maybe my best friend. And in a fucked up way, it's been a healthy friendship. I might have killed myself if good ol' beer wasn't there to take away the pain enough that I could look at what I have, and be grateful, and see that things could be better. I truly believe that. And for that, I'm truly grateful to my addiction. Thank you beer. Sometimes the medicine and the poison are difficult to tell apart. But now I know that friendship needs to end.
I never used "time outs" or "go to your room" because I felt like it was telling my child that I did not want them around me, when the opposite is true. Even if I am upset or aggravated or even disappointed, I still always want my child around.
When I smoked weed I FINALLY wasnt so confused anymore. After being gaslit and told I can do nothing and my sister being hyped up like a god all my life I remember my first time being stoned. Finally something made sense and I didnt have this "blocking" thoughts. I could let my mind run free and not have these negative thoughts. I finally relaxed and felt a little good about myself. It felt like peace. A negative mind created in my childhood, confused, scary, insecure with a bad self image. Always blaming myself for everything while others were creating the chaos with dirty tricks. Watch out for the closest people in your life, you trust them but they can be the ones secretly gaslighting you into a insecure person for decades so they feel at least better than you.
OMG I FEEL U! people just can’t even imagin how unreal everything feels when u are deeply traumatised…And weed made me feel „real“ for the first time in my life.. I was like „ HOLD ONN ,I HAVE A BODY??!?!?“
I did that about 8 years ago. havent put the bong down since, i like it so much im addicted. Get furious and sweaty, cant eat or sleep if i try to quit now. beware
Alcohol did this for me. I have to be blunt, it sounds like the marijuana has replaced what you were not getting from your home. This video basically is about this. Much love
Yep, parents have trauma they never dealt with and gaslit me to feel better than themselves, trauma myself from birth (born at 25 weeks gestation), menopausal symptoms from age 9, pot tobacco and alcohol use from age 17, age 37.5 got onto estrogen and progesterone and haven't picked up anything since
I have family exactly like this that's partly why I smoke weed theres a line in a song that resonates with me a lot "Even tho we're blood that don't mean that we're family cuz I know blood that never took that stand for me" realest shit I've heard
Sometimes addiction is a shield which we think will protect us, but what is it really? We hold on to our addictions, because we feel safe with them, because we wont have a reason to blame, so we wont even try, this video helped me realise that, thanks a lot
After Skool brings me tears, tears bring me release, release brings me clarity, and clarity brings me joy. Through this process, I am truly reconnecting with myself. Thank you so much, I am eternally grateful.
I'm reading all these comments and thinking FUCKING GET OVER IT to each one. I mean that's what I was constantly instructed to do, and guess what I did. So I got over fucking all my issues, but the trade-off is that my body fails lol I regularly have had to remove or path different organs and bones. Seemingly "Get Over It" it what we are told but that's the WORST response to it. Trust me if you don't let that traumatic response out, it will fucking eat you alive from the deepest pit of your stomach, and take it from me you want to avoid this; life your life healthy having a shitty failing body sucks ass. Get over it? Nahh get it OUT instead! Best of luck to you all God bless :) I think we all need to get used to other peoples angry responses in order that we can claim our own and not upset people with it. Once everybody has gotten their demons out, we can all have a smoke. No wait :D
i 1000000% believe only an addict can understand true addiction. so many ppl try to define & explain it, but if you haven’t been through withdrawal & failure of sobriety when you truly desire it, you’ll never Really know. my heart goes out to each & every addict. both clean or in active addiction.
The problem is most of us are addicts of one kind or another. Most people haven't had their needs met in childhood, had traumatic experiences or abusive treatment. It's probably the reason for most of societies ills.
I Could remember several years ago I was diagnosed with ADHD. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
They saved you from death bud, lets be honest here. and mushrooms are one of the most amazing things on this planet i wish people would all realize. they could solve a lot of problems, more than just mental treatments, environmental clean up; the possibilities are endless with fungus.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Greece. Really need!
YES very sure of larymycology. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today
I Hate that psilocybin gets grouped with drugs like cocaine and heroin. Mushrooms are a remedy, not a vice! I went on a microdose treatment for a couple of months and within the first week, every sight of a cigarette got me questioning why I was doing all that to myself. It really works.
I often see, and have personally experienced, that the hyperfixation on addiction as a disease can distract from the fact that addiction is often just a symptom of trauma & insecure attachment. It becomes a way for abusive, or neglectful parents & family members to shift blame, and avoid responsibility. I appreciate videos like this a lot. Addiction doesn't carve out a void to settle in, the void was already there, and it's not your fault.
As an addiction counselor and someone with over 28 years in recovery, this is almost exactly how I approach addiction recovery for myself, and for my clients. Thank you!
How did you approach recovery? I understand the reasoning of addiction but I haven’t seen or heard about an approach to recovery. Appreciate your insight, working with a 13 yo potential trauma addiction from starting
@@AnnieCan1950 thank you for your question. The answer would take a discussion to answer rather than the brief space we have here. If interested I'd be happy to discuss my thoughts and approaches with you.
This is why Heroin felt like a warm blanket being wrapped around me. It was the truest utter purest form of comfort and acceptance you've always been searching for.
Amazing! I’m starting my recovery journey too by addressing my deepest deepest pain and hurt and allowing myself to feel whatever emotions come bad and good because the child within me has hidden them for so long. Good luck in your journey ❤
I wish this guy was my therapist. Noones ever helped me in 20 years, and he's imparted more knowledge in 5 minutes to me and I feel like finally understand why I'm an addict
Gabor Maté is probably one of the best addiction therapists in the world. Everything he says is backed by tons of research. I wish more people knew about him.
This is powerful. Some true words. This is why you have to think TWICE before brining a child to this earth. You can’t just make one and throw them into this thing called “life” know yourself and know everything around you!
Thanks to After Skool and Gabor Matte. As someone who suffers from severe chronic addiction I deeply appreciate any person or groups attempt to explain and understand addiction.
A few years back, I was really struggling with depression and mental health issues. I was hooked on cigarettes and alcohol, but then my wife suggested I try psilocybin mushroom therapy. Honestly, it saved my life. It's been 11 years since I've been totally clean. Those shrooms are like a miracle.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in UK. Really need
1: I never thought of myself as an addict. 2: once I realized I was in fact an addict, I didn't know why. 3: once I realized why, I had never felt more miserable and alone and I hated the person I had become because of my father. 4: once I accepted the reasons why, I was finally able to deal with it head on and evolve. That was the 4 step process that changed my life. Hands down the hardest and most difficult thing I've ever done.
Thank you, I feel like I have been missing step four. I haven't been able to accept it and I have been stuck in limbo at number three for a while now and I want to get out of it, but I'm trying now.
So many things clicked with me on this. The battle of authenticity and attachment is real, it's something I haven't been able to explain my whole life.
It's crazy that we already know so much about the human mind, and yet instead of helping people in need, we created a system that benefits from their misery.
Addiction is pretty much always a coping mechanism to mask other bad emotions - once seen from that perspective, it is much easier to have compassion with addicts
Humans fundamentally have freewill, as long as the individual focuses on him or herself he will have greater control in his or her life. stop with excuses.
Thank you for this ....as a woman in a 12 step program, recovering from drug & alcohol addiction, this was spot on. Both my parents were alcoholics, and it got ugly alot..I believe childhood trauma is very real. Thank you for bringing into the light where it needs to be
I don't remember much of my trauma and I'm soo grateful. I think that is why I don't have nightmares and don't have addiction issues. I think a big part of addiction is self soothing from unstoppable horrific memories. I do a lot of self therapy and read a lot and watch a lot of videos on healing. I got incredibly lucky that I had a really good man as my stepdad who adopted me. My mother was unhinged and did everything in her power to destroy me. He helped buffer me from her. If I had not had him, I believe I would have been one of the addicted.
Wow. Hit the nail on the head. I am a trauma therapist and am blown away not only at all of this amazing knowledge, and its accuracy, but also that it seems to have been delivered in a second language. This man is beyond intelligent.
It resembles the concept of “racket feelings” in transactional analysis created by Eric Berne. It’s a fascinating concept stating that we repress feeling in our childhood which are “unsafe” or punished and we cover them up with “acceptable” feelings called rackets. A racket is a phony feeling which is a cover up , a substitution of an authentic feeling. Highly recommend TA it’s mind blowing helped me a lot
This is one of the most beautiful messages I have ever received: "I stumbled upon your UA-cam channel a few days ago. I just wanted to say thank you and let you know that your videos are being shown to drug addicts at a facility in Dayton, OH where they are making a real impact on our patients. This area has been ravaged by heroine addiction and I work as a counselor helping people turn their lives around. Many of the clients I work with have never heard the things found in the content of these videos. The content paired with the illustrations makes them memorable and easier to understand. Your videos are spreading good in the world and making the world a better place. Thank you." - Kyle W.
It is both inspiring and humbling to think that these videos could provide a light to someone in a time of darkness. The true purpose of After Skool is self discovery. Know thyself. We're all at different places on the same journey. We're all fighting our own battles. The more we understand our true nature, the more we heal our past traumas and reconnect with our authenticity. And as corny as it sounds, we are all in this together. "For some strange reason I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. And you can never be what I ought to be until I am what I ought to be - this is the interrelated structure of reality." - Martin Luther King Jr.
If you know someone struggling with an addiction, give them support, let them know that they are not alone and perhaps share this video. And if you like this video and want to help make more, please consider supporting After Skool on Patreon. Thank you www.patreon.com/AfterSkool
They're not addicted to "heroine". You say you're their counselor?
@@notkerrystolcenberg constructive criticism is a lost art
@@katterinaqualls educated psychologists shouldn't be
Maybe O should translate this video into German for my father. He is struggling for 40 years or sth. Doesn’t matter what, Heroine, now Alcohol....
@@notkerrystolcenberg Was correcting a minor spelling error of someone with good intentions worth the miniscule dopamine shot to your brain you get for being "right"?
"The loss of self is the essence of trauma" ... this hit me so hard
Yeah me too 😪😪😪
Like a Mack truck…
Like a Boeing 707...
Same here, but I am healing and recovering. The most beautiful feeling ♥️♥️♥️
Reconnecting with your self, what a concept! ! Reminds me of what a philosopher said thousands of years ago; “ KNOW THYSELF First, and you
will know all things “ or how about that green alligator who said; I have met
the enemy and it is us !” In other words- be part of the solution, not
part of the problem!
Thank you for the insight 👍.
My addiction is the most stable thing I’ve ever had in my life
Stop searching for stability in unstable people or people in general. Try to find the root cause of the addiction and go from there. I too suffered from an addiction. Mine was to stimulates, whatever got me going. I was greatly over weight and lacked lots of energy. I decided to make healthier choices and start exercising. I knew that would provide me with energy eventually. I know each addiction is different and some harder than others to break. I’m just sharing what helped me. No one should go through this alone but unfortunately we do, in fear of judgement. I’m here for anyone who may want to chat.
It makes so much sense
It's the only thing that I'm constantly consistent at
not living?
I understand
Children are like wet cement, whatever falls on them makes an impression - Haim Ginott
I really like that quote, it's so true,kids are extremely impressionable
Easy to manipulate and mould into obedient workers.
Criminal Minds: Season 10 Episode 17
@@ozymandias1646 yes!! I love it
@@splinterborn school?
"Trauma isn't what happened to you, trauma is what happens inside you." That actually makes sense. Thank you for saying that
yesssss!!! i am shock that he concluded perfectly more than the psychologist i had visited for years
@@boomclap8479 forrreal
Sure. Say that to a child that has been raped.
@@Makdkb dude you missed the point of that message.
Yes, ppl should do more research on the words they echo or parrot. Everyone has traumatic things happen to them, it is how we interpret and cope with the trauma.
I have alot of childhood trama, I never became an addict cause I saw what it did.
But I am real tore up all the time. I thought the Army would help me move forawrd and become a man, but it made it worse.
I tried counseling and it helped to solve the why but the pain and memories never leave.
I understand how people become addicts and I feel for them the most.
Proto, I’ve been watching you since I was 12 man (I’m now 18). I have a question, and I would be touched if you would answer: Is it worth it to join the Army, or any other type of military service (from first or second hand experience)? I’ve been thing of joining for the same reason, to toughen up, but does that really turn out well or no?
@@flibbettyjibbetts6766 benefits out weigh negatives for sure.
🌸 same from moment I was a baby age 2yrs & half my abuse began. Despite my hardships all my life, I’ve stayed strong & never abused drugs, alcohol or did anything destructive to my own life. I realised feelings sorry for myself solved absolutely nothing but kept me rooted in self doubts etc. I just tried my best in my humble ways. I still get stress but I use meditation in nature like grounding or in my room, my favourite is the chakra meditation. It doesn’t matter what ever happened in the past cannot keep coming back to haunt us, if we break that focus and concentrate on something else. Also it had nothing to do with us, not our fault. I released that anger and detached from all the negativity associated with it and just broke free. I do simple things to make myself happy, I make sure I smile & laugh everyday and I make others happy. It was very important for me to never become like my abusers but to be someone better and to never stay a victim but to be a survivor 🕊
@@sunitafisher4758 This is great advice, better than I’ve gotten before, where people usually just give me yes or no answers. Thank you so much, really appreciate your input
@@ProtoMario Thanks man ✌🏻
“Addiction is not the problem, it’s an attempt to solve the problem”
Truth!
i wish my family could understand this... they're satisfied with a blanket fort made of obsolete conclusions.
Deep as fuck.
Well said
I always thought that smokers were very very unhappy
This is why we need classes in schools like Personal Improvement & Growth; this, along with Personal Finance and Psychology are good for raising healthy adults.
I agree but the government doesn’t want us to heal, they want us broken, addicted, and lost that way it’s easier to control and manipulate us
Not psychology - spirituality and futurism, connection with earth and dreaming of the future. I have plans for such a place some day.
The people in charge will never do things like that. Never. It’s pretty sad seeing other people trusting the gouvernment for change.
Yes! Ive thought this for a while
Or how about we stop overpopulating the planet with shitting out more children and instead adopt the children who are waiting to be adopted? BUT MAH GENES!
I was having so much suicidal thoughts 10 years ago as a teenage, also suffered severe anxiety and mental disorder. I got addicted to Crack, spent my whole life fighting Crack addiction. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES sure of mycologist Pedroshrooms. Mushrooms literally got me off my feet and turned my whole life around. I am currently a housing manager for a recovery program. I wouldn't have been able to do that shit without psilocybin.
Thanks for sharing your story. That's rough I sympathize. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health. I will pray for you all.
Where do I reach this dude? If possible can I find him on Google
There is a book entitled "The aware baby". It states based on various scientific research that children starting from birth heal every trauma or tension by crying. But only if parents stay there for them without judging. Crying is the single most powerful and healthy need a child can have. "Don't cry" and trying to suppresss it are devastating and the beginning of every addiction and behaviour problem.
In alot of cases I agree, but in alot of cases some children are manipulative at an early and will cry to get their way, its up to the parent or caregiver to know the difference!!
who wrote the book? i couldnt find it
As a child from the 70s and growing up in 80s and 90s all crying got me was a shit ton of trouble or ass beating. So no . Crying would have been the worst thing I could have done
@@zolisworld maybe he wrote it😂
Sounds like a bunch of bullshit.
"the loss of oneself is the essence of trauma"
Do u know howone can reconnect with his self
The self concept twists my noggin. The self in this video, I believe is "the higher self, or the true self". Then there is the baser self where most people live. Its selfishness and self centeredness. This self does not want us to look at it. It hides cunningly in many ways. With fear and projection...finger pointing and blame and abasement ego.etc. im starting to meet people who are and have been doing this kind of work. Mainly via 12 steps. It's not for everyone. The price seems fair to me. Maybe you might check it out.
This very summation blew my mind. So succinct. I’m very much diving deep into myself and figuring out my essence and it’s helping, all of it, and this is just so healing!
I heard that loudest too
Finding oneself is the essence of ....??? Sometimes losing self is the best thing that can happen
People treat addiction like a moral failing or mental weakness. It doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you someone struggling to cope with the pain of life.
People in chronic pain chronically take pain relievers. If the pain is not government approved, pain relief is a crime.
Underrated comment right here!,
A lot of the addicts I've known have the biggest hearts. It's truly sad how overwhelming things can be for us. And how heavy the past is, yet how difficult it is to let go.
lol, I just said addiction is exactly moral failing and mental weakness. What you do makes you bad, inclusively being useless and supporting the government (a criminal organization anywhere)
childhood trauma DOES NOT lead to addiction. I had plenty and I'm not addicted to any drug except love (which I never had, my point exactly). Addiction comes from mental illness, which is a metaphor for lack of self education, and the core of self education is worship of truth and self (as a god). In other words animals get addicted, not real humans.
Addiction comes from your feelings. Your feelings do not matter for determining the truth. If your soul is above your heart you will never be corrupted or addicted, and that is a sign of souless people
@@angrypidgeon1714 which truth are you talking about now? Please clarify that, we already have a plenty of them... you believe in soul... come on, just say that this is what you want to believe and live your life but don't be innocent to express your opinion in a way that put's what you live as the truth for everyone and making believe that addicted people are somehow below you in your own pyramid of self-truth. First truth is that truth do not exist.
I keep watching this over and over. Just to reassure myself that I'm not just a broken human. I'm human, and I was broken. Huge difference.
I’m your sister now and I love you
oh sweetheart
So well put. ❤
I'm totally broken
ok where is the f#cking difference...broken is broken.F#ck the way you think but then you said it yourself your broken...welcome to the Club
slowly understanding why you're addicted is the most painful but simultaneously the most healing , this hurt but I'm so glad I watched this
Seek Jesus Christ and you will be saved.
@@thekingguerra I prefer GOD instead of this man Jesus Christ w long brown hair n light skin. But Amen!
BRUH !
In order to love something you need to understand it. The best place to start is with yourself. Once you understand yourself you have the ability to love yourself and love others. Is a tough journey but is worth the reward which is your inner peace. Stay blessed and powerful.
Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has no colors, rasicm, hate. He died for your precious souls. In this hellish world your soul is valuable, praying for you🙏
“Angry little kids don’t get loved” you just described my childhood my friend!
Yuh same its whatever
@@XXXTentaclez disconnect of your emotions
@@gianlucamarras4483 thanx
yup
Mine was more like kids who don’t comply don’t get loved
I'm addicted to sleeping
No thinking. No stress. No pain. Basically no concious existence etc.
Just solace. I have a hard time getting out of bed though...
Me too Holo, me too.
Yea man same here, it’s as if I don’t want to live anymore and have accepted death, I just want to skip and skip the next day until the moment I want as if I’m traveling through time
@@lenkngomez8451 me too
@@vegetaslife8658 I recommend trying to get into moving or working out, if may help break out of that state of mind
I was addicted to sleeping too. Every day was pretty much a torture because once I opened my eyes, my mind was full of negative thought, like “shit, I woke up again”. Every time it was a struggle for me to get out of my bed and I constantly snoozed my phone alarm to have a bit more sleep.
But here is the thing. Try to accept absurdity of life. If you have goals in life - great, push yourself to achieve them. If you don’t - that’s alright too, don’t create any for now, the main thing is not to give up. Wake up, do morning exercise, make up your bed, do your chores. Life is about constant moving.
I understand that people have different backgrounds and for some of us it can be harder to fix our lives. But you have to push yourself in order to be the best version of you. You will lose battles in life, but you can’t allow yourself to lose a war.
"If u cant bond because you're traumatised, isolated or beaten down by life, you'll bond with something that will give you some sense of relief."
"The opposite of addiction is not soberity. The opposite of addiction is connection."
Yeh Connection to weed 👌
Yeah - bond with something that doesn’t make unreasonable demands and give you shit in return
My addiction was a physical and mental byproduct of what I thought I found as a solution to why I was so confused. The why of not understanding how my life seemed out of sync and not on the same page as other people, the why of I just didn't fit in. My solution seemed to me then was to inadvertently embrace a lifetime of consequences rather than find a better solution. Bottom line is three years ago I found my solution. I found a way readjust myself, with the help of others, to find inside my heart, the direction to a peaceful and decent life. I found the way to recovery.
my husband😢
@@Tommyyyshelbyyy 1000% true gotta be careful or you go to far with something bad for you even to much gym makes you sick
This is why I swear by this to this day that what saved me from my addictions was to find and reconnect with my inner child self. Be in the moment, just like I did as a kid with no worries, no goals, just in the grass enjoying looking at the bugs on the plants. That's what saved me.
if you can just choose to do that and do it....you arent an addict
@@Dischordian How much experience do you have living as Ben? Addicts do sometimes choose to quit and succeed, you know. He didn’t indicate that it was easy or hard, that it was his first or hundredth try - he only agreed with the authenticity premise in the video. It seems that there are many commenters here that do not understand that the status of other people’s brain chemistry is not your call unless you are a professional with the prerequisite credentials and permission to make that sort of judgment.
@@sweetsugarjones I don't need any experience of "being Ben", just the working universally recognised definition of "addict".... An addict is someone who cannot just decide to stop using... That is why they are an addict! They are powerless to stop on their own unaided power.
@@sweetsugarjones it's clear that you place a lot of authority in totally the wrong hands, in the hands of those carrying framed diplomas etc.... Those with a long and often hidden history of totally failing to help people, and often increasing suffering as they go, it's clear that you desire to beleive that common people have no understanding, knowledge, or wisdom in there areas.
@@Dischordian He may have learnt how to do that rather than chose to
This is so close to home that it hurts and feels good at the same time. 6 months clean.
6 months is an amazing achievement. Congratulations and keep on going.
Congratulations bro you got this
im in a treatment center right now.
proud of you!!
You're doing great! Keep it up, you got this 💪
My brother passed at age 37 8 months ago after a lifelong battle with drug, heroin, and meth addiction. It felt like no amount of love shown could satisfy this inner emptiness he had. It was very hard. He died of cardiac arrest and they found 4 different substances in his system. He traveled the world, had many friends, but ultimately could never find himself and what he was looking for. I miss him every day.
Sorry to hear of your loss. I can relate to your brother feeling lost! I was a heroin addict for 11 years and as much as it helps with feeling lost and empty, it ultimately destroys everything. Now I'm in therapy and have been clean for 15 years
He is your father a teacher? I know a man who last name is "sakic" who lost his son to drugs
am so sorry for your loss :( Hope you are doing fine
Sorry for your loss. My father was a lifetime alcoholic who just sat and drank and complimented himself, living in the house his father's money bought when gramps passed. My father never worked one day in forty years, and wow, was he selfish as hell, only turning the heat on in the family home for his reading chair and his bed, cooking a rich, big breakfast to eat for himself in front of his son who he prepared nothing for, just because he didn't want to eat alone. Finally abandoned by everyone around him, he died very selfish and alone. A major emotional black hole who lived and cared ONLY about himself, but still couldn't do without some attachment, which is what he used other people for. For the record, I went on to get my degree and do what I wanted to in life. Some people are just born broken, I guess.
This makes me want to weep. I’m so so sorry. That is heartbreaking. What makes this such a difficult topic is that no matter the outward love and opportunity, much of a person’s solutions come from within. I have have had some experience with this myself. Largely, my heavy drinking has sorted itself out. I don’t know how, but I’m happier without it. But still inside, there is a battle with self that has to be reconciled in order to move forward. I’m sorry for your loss. You do bring up a very important point
The worst thing about addictions is that they quietly become your go-to relief whenever a triggering event happens. As you continuously rely on your addiction more and more, your ability to deal with triggering events weakens, making you turn to your addiction even more. And as you rely on your addiction more, your life overall gets worse, which creates more triggering events as well as feelings of anxiety, worthlessness and depression, all of which are further triggers for your addiction.
It's a vicious downward spiral that just strengthens and reinforces itself the longer you do it. And the longer you do it, the harder it is to stop, and the weaker your resolve to not indulge gets. It's hell. Literal hell.
exactly, I think the same
It's called "dying", and our species used to do it in the natural way. What is unnatural and I think unique to our species (and maybe dogs) is that due to the synthetic lifestyles of civilization, we CAN experience a psychological or spiritual death, or experience something traumatic that can make an individual become trapped in some torture chamber within the hive of their own psyche (ala the surviving female victim in True Detective, or The Hound from GoT) combined with a behavioral habit that is Created by that individual as an INEFFECTIVE coping mechanism (in that the process just makes it worse & worse) rather than the radical acceptance of their own feeling/behavior in response to the event... as well as ACCEPTANCE from another trusted psyche (ala The Hound & Arya in season 4 of GoT when he tells her how he was burned).
So where did we meet, and how do you know me so well? 😅
Well said!
I would call myself an alcoholic, but I don’t turn to alcohol when I’m stressed. I do it in a very cyclical and regimented way. I allow myself two hours at the end of the night to binge drink. It has no temporal connection to any issues throughout my day.
It happens the same way every night no matter what my day was. I never reach for a drink when I’m stressed because then I would have more than two hours. I know what happens when I drink for more than two hours.
I guess this is being a functional alcoholic.
"The trauma is not what happens to you. The trauma is what happens inside you."
@The HandProject Yeah that's the exact point of the quote lol
@The HandProject just built different
That's such a good analogy... so true
Well said!
Except blunt force trauma. 🔨
"The Loss of Self is the Essence of Trauma." -Gabor Maté
❤❤❤
This man broke down my whole life in a 9 minute video and expects me to be alright
Hey. I'm here too and it's okay not to be alright :)
Ask MESSIAH SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST to help you to heal and HE will. I will pray for you.
No, silly, this stuff comes in layers. It comes slowly to those who are looking. Seeking. Be patient with yourself. Kind. Gentle.
Give yourself a big warm hug from me. More will be revealed.
This man does not expect anything from you. Your life is your own journey.
It inched me a bit closer to understanding myself. I won't complain.
I am a therapist at an in-patient facility... this is a clear and concise explanation of how both attachment and trauma drive our thoughts and behaviors.. These are emotional injuries.... This video is the core of trauma informed therapy.... I will be showing this frequently.
Hello I just read your comment and I agree with you 100%. I’m 57 years old and have an addiction. My childhood was sad and confusing and full of abuse and trauma. My addiction became almost like a hug with love attached. My addiction made me feel good in a nasty mean spirited world around me. This video really hit home for me. M
@@michaelknapp8961hi Michael! I hope you’re having a wonderful day and if not, then I hope you have one soon. 🤍
Thank you for your service. 🤍
@@michaelknapp8961look up psilocybin treatment maybe. 🙏🏻🙏🙏
So true,I was molested /beaten every week at age 7 and in teenage years drugs and alcohol took those thoughts away.I’m sober now in my 40s and the pain is still here.Please cherish your children and protect them from ALL.
@MB1 BUMPER
I LOVE YOU.
AND DOES GOD HIMSELF.
❤❤❤
Same! I’m 24 and became a heavy drinker from 21-23. I realized I was going down a dark path and had to confront those things. It was hard and I still struggle everyday smh
I’m so sorry 🙏🙏🙏😞
@@Galacticgirl717 It’s not your fault.Im off the drugs and alcohol now,have been for a while now.I surround myself w good people now as well.Thank you for caring though,I appreciate it.
@@MB1BUMPERproud of you!
this makes sense.
so sad that so many of us had parents that weren't able to love us as we needed.
thanks for sharing.
They probably were not loved or nurtured either. Humans cannot provide what we don't have or donnot know of. It's up to us to self educate, connect with others with the goal of healing themselves and break the cycle by giving our children what we never received. Blessings to you 🙏
@@lizvecitaful you right .
Big hugs from Bergamo ❣️
Same here...
Do yall not remember that a SHIT TON OF OUR PARENTS WERE MADE POST WAR PRE SEXUAL LIBERATION. they were the summer of love kids left to raise themselves. Then 90s moms were like fuck no im not being a housewife then left, and dads had to step up, til abt 2010. when everyone gave up on us and SOCIAL MEDIA BECAME OUR PARENTS. i mean who is even to blame, cycles?,time?, or PILL SALESMEN" promising to fix everything if u have enough insurance ,"on every channel billboard youtube ad and bench ad u drive past. Its suggestive selling playing on our inner most traumas for PROFIT!!!! no one is interested in getting us sober clear connected or loved without a price. Only we can look at what we know is wrong inside ourselves and talk about it. Talking about it stops hiding it and others get braver and connections like #me too are made. Where is that movement for the self imploding drug addict, not possible bc we fear legal retaliation for admitting use. Lets keep it going and change the things we talk about along the way.
I honestly feel most people do the best with where they are it. Are the best decisions made? No. But life is a learning process.
The thumbnail says it all. Addicts want to reconnect with their childhood self and others. When they don't, they seek anything that gives pleasurable relief from the pain. And they feel the warmth they wish they still had.
That's the best case scenario. Usually you will settle for just the mental pain relief without any pleasure what so ever. Or even just something that slightly alters your mood, whether it be something as simple as too much caffeine or a drug you usually don't like but it's the only one available.
It's the closest thing i've seen to a true Hell on earth.
And yet you stay there, like an idiot... 🤦♂️
I'm just glad I made it out alive. 👍
@@NotThatKindOfKiwi86 As am I. Seriously. We are all One. Love to you. ❤️
@@landryprichard6778 The only thing that's left is to support each other and try to get people to not start in the first place. Thanks for your support my friend. Lots of love to you too. ❤️
@@NotThatKindOfKiwi86 - It’s not just about covering up inner pain; sometimes it’s just for the pleasure. The problem starts when you get to like the pleasure so much it becomes a habit which begins to derail your whole life. Sure, childhood traumas make some of us more addiction-prone than others but I suspect that even the best adjusted kids who had idyllic childhoods can fall into addictions.
@@NotThatKindOfKiwi86 I just wanted to add that the powers-that-be love this. They market off of pain and suffering, because they are heartless sociopaths who have their own vacuum within. They weren't born evil, but, in their own attempt to find peace, they seek domination and control outside themselves. This has to end...or we will.
The real healing and enlightenment of modern human society is understanding that we are the problem.
We fell and caused sin therefore separated from God. There is a way back tho❤ Jesus
"Addiction is NOT the primary problem. it's an attempt to SOLVE a problem. "
this❤ I needed this . battling my fetynal addiction. After five months clean I relapsed. I'm now three months clean , taking the sublocade shot and feeling soooooo much better . UPDATE: 11-4-2022 I'm now 8 and a half months and for once I can actually see myself living life without strips or a shot. I never really knew how I was going to stay clean once I did decide to get off sublocade/suboxone..... But I'm starting to feel like it really is possible for me. And in the near future. It definitely hasn't been easy but damn has it been worth it ♥️
Try to get your hands on ibogaine!! Look it up
You deserve to live your best life. Keep moving forward ⏩
@@bryanwinchell8065 very very interesting. I looked into it alittle bit last night, definitely going to do alittle more digging because from the like 30 mins I put in last night, definitely something worth doing more research. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!
@@heiroot thank you ❤️ I truly do appreciate that. Two weeks shy of 8 months. I definitely still get cravings but it's a different kind of craving, I don't crave the actual fetti anymore, I just crave feeling numb sometimes. Hopefully the work I'm putting into my recovery, getting back on psych meds while going to therapy isn't for nothing. I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to share your very much appreciated comment 💕💕
I would like to point out that childhood trauma is NOT an excuse to get addicted to heroin. there is absolutely nothing wrong with using heroin recreationally in my opinion, but I have a huge problem with heroin addicts. heroin addicts give us responsible users a bad name and are part of the reason why the stuff is illegal.
want to use but don't want to get addicted to heroin? here is some advice:
-don't inject, its insanely euphoric and dangerous. save injecting for retirement. just snort/smoke it until then, or take it orally.
-don't use more than 1-2 times a year.
I’m always amazed at how everyone I meet has been hurt by their childhood. Sending ❤️ to everyone.
Is there anyone who wasn’t somehow hurt in their childhood? Childhood is a magical dream-time. To be wrenched from it is traumatic. OK, so we all suffered to varying degrees, but we all suffered.
c'est la vie...
Thank You❤
If everyone’s been hurt in the childhood then surely it’s just normality? We all have to leave the mother’s breast at some time, and yes, it’s going to be traumatic... for a while.
@@sirrathersplendid4825 stupid adults ruin everything.
throughout the past year, i was in severe heroin addiction. now, I am recovering. proud to say that now I am 5 months sober, and that I love this video
Congratulations Jaden 🙌 .. Keep on keeping on!
🙏🏼❤️
Yeah had the same learned behavior. For 15 years, it really took off 5 years ago. It's one of those things where it never ends unless it ends you.
congrats!!
Don't give up on yourself
Yes! Connecting with authenticity is KEY! The parts of authenticity i have suppressed is:
*anger towards others;
*disapproval of others' actions;
*disagreement with others;
*boredom in their presence
*taking my own route or actions when it conflicts with theirs.
Thank you for this message. I was lost on how to search for my authenticity. I am authentic, but I do not know to what extent, I am almost completely authentic when looking at the things I can see, but I don't know if there is something I don't know about, haven't realised or found yet that is making me inauthentic.
I don't feel anger towards others, but I don't know if this is a personality trait of mine, being really calm and all that.
Previously I suppressed disagreement with others and taking my own route or actions when it conflicts with others.
Could you please elaborate on what you meant by "Boredom in their presence"? I am not sure I quite get that.
Cheers, thank you really much! Actually.
This is me and I don’t even know to approach the problem. No one knows the real me.
Recovering at the age of 26.. it was like unlocking a closet that my 6 year old self and 16 year old self tumbled out of, my traumatized teenaged self has been watching my traumatized child self and they're both pissed off and visibly neglected and now my job is to take care of all 3 of us at once. I could have felt things the first time!
same lol i have to frequently tell my younger self that hes loved
I can't echo this comment enough, it hits all the spots
ua-cam.com/video/dyqk-n-GJX8/v-deo.html
I also imagine a trail of my younger selves behind me to get through my traumas, I wonder if that's something a lot of people suffering from PTSD do
So happy for you and everyone in these comments ❤️ Being the parents for ourselves we always wanted. And the best thing is, when we’re our own source of love, it never leaves us :)
When he said that trauma is a divorce, your mother’s depression, your dad’s alcoholism, your parents arguments... he just listed my whole childhood. I’m just starting to unravel how traumatizing events in my life have affected my addiction and I’m middle aged. My hope is that more people look to therapy, support groups, and other healing modalities as entire nations struggle to deal with the fallout of trauma. We deserve better. And we must break the cycle of trauma and abuse.
He said that those things are not traumas, but traumatic and that the real trauma isn’t what happens to you but what happens inside of you . But i can definitely relate brother.
What does he say at 4.45 ?
I wish you well in your recovery
Same here!
For sure, addicts thriving with a purpose
Brought me to tears my childhood wasnt traumatic but my parents didnt know how to show love i was in the middle and kinda got lost in the sauce i guess
My siblings were each asked to relate a memory of me as a child. Crickets...
My parents didn’t show us or each other love at all. To show your emotions was weakness to them. It took me many year to be able to cry in a funeral or tell a boyfriend that I loved him and give him attention in public.
Same here, my parents didn't (or more likely) couldn't really show affection to others, themselves and even each other, the only emotions I saw them embodying were anger or the occasonials fits of rage (not that much but it gaves an idea). I'm not like them on this point, I never had a problem to express my feelings, as a matter of fact it's quite the opposite, I'm usually over the top, it's quite the handicap.
@@BGatts666 here too David...im the one who cries over others losses and hurts. I look around and I m surrounded by poker faces...zero emotion
My wife of 13 years lost her battle with addiction 3 weeks ago only 29 years old and this here video makes a whole lot of sense
I am so very sorry for your loss. God bless you and may she rest in peace.
My deepest sympathy dear soul ❤ for yours - and her loss as well. Love to you 🙏✨️❤️🌈
Just recently my mom walked in on me watching this video and asked me what it is about. So i explained the video to her then she say “this is bullshit. I gave you so much love when you are a child yet you grow up and having overeating problem.” Lol enough proof for this video.
Many don't understand the difference in conditional vs unconditional love. Children need the latter. Traditional Western parenting attempts to control behaviour by doling out love and approval only when the child pleases the parent. But in reality, it's in those hard "unlovable" moments children are crying out for love and connection the most.
I’m sorry 😞 You got this 💯
I am so sorry about your experience. Your mother likely has trauma herself but she is unable to deal with it, that is NOT your fault either. I am proud of your for looking into yourself to transcend. I wish you all the luck in reconnecting with yourself. Blessing and love unto you.
@mermaid girl It will get better, I promise. I had overeating problems too (and a mother like that). Stay mentally strong, there is so much info out here to help you step by step unlearn the negative beliefs you have about yourself and the world. Focus on your career, getting to a safe place and hopefully live by yourself :) . Redefine what the world means TO YOU. You are allowed to have boundaries
she is definitely gaslighting you :(
I don’t suffer from addiction but this really touch me. My dad died of cancer when I was 16, he was a heavy smoker. One of the last words he said to me was “Cancer is in part an acummulation of bad energies, don’t let this happen to you” I think he was talking about his depression about his childhood traumas, he was a strong man but he recogniced the importance of therapy too late. I love you dad, I’m grateful because your death thought me a lot to become who I am now. (Sorry for my bad english)
A mi también me tocó heavy esto... Casualmente mi viejo se murió de cáncer a los 17 (también por fumar)... y también empezó terapia cuando ya no había mucho por hacer. Aprendés de la situación, sí, y una de esas cosas que aprendés es cuánto necesita uno a un padre a medida que va creciendo. Hoy a mis 29, con un hijo, este vídeo me dejó no diría hecho percha, pero, afectado, seguro.
@@alister_ De todos modos he tomado esa vivencia como un aprendizaje y ahora siento que realmente entiendo qué es lo importante en la vida y qué no lo es... eso me ha ayudado mucho a convertirme en la persona que quiero ser y me sacado de un montón de problemas y situaciones de las que no me hubiera dado cuenta si no fuera porque pasé por esa experiencia traumática en concreto. Por más que mi padre haya muerto y me haya dejado un vacío gigante creo que mi vida me pertenece solo a mi y que yo tengo el poder y la voluntad de vivirla feliz y tranquila a piacere... es algo que seguro tanto tu papá como el mío hubiera querido para nosotros... su dolor en su partida, en gran parte, fue por el dolor que nos dejarían a nosotros cuando se fueran... no hay otra... hay que continuar... te mando un abrazo :)
@@florSaxinetti Totalmente acertado lo que comentás. Estas experiencias nos forjan, y mas aún cuando con el pasar de los años.
Te mando un abrazo enorme para vos también estimada. Éxitos.
6 months clean, from a heavy 3 years of cocaine Abuse.
I’ve OD’d many times and lost everything.
I come from the foster system and lived a very traumatic abuse ect.
I’m so glad I’m on the way upwards lost everything and everything to Cocaine.
How the hell my nose septum Is still Intact Is beyond my comprehension.
Wishing peace and love to all
We all suffer from addictive behaviours because the trauma Gabor describes Is so widespread. Perfect childhoods are chimeric.
I’m currently a meth addict in recovery. I relapsed yesterday night into the morning. I’ve been smokin dope since I was 15 first time I used it was 2 days before my 15th birthday as well as smoked black. I’m dependent on weed to help keep me calm Nd stable. I struggle with bipolar disorder. I just started takin meds again. Im doin really well I’m happy consistently workin out Nd I’m actually bouta graduate high school this year on time. I’m so grateful for that. I really didn’t think it was possible. Im never gonna give up no matter how hard it gets I will forever try to be and stay sober. I want a better healthier life for myself Nd the people around me
YOU GO MANUEL! Although we have never met each other I wish to let you know I support you! It always creates hope in us humans when we see a young person change for the better. Life can throw a lot at us, but fighting it is what makes us stronger, so please keep fighting. Congrats on your near graduation, I really hope you find something you love to do and stick to it. Although many may not support you or will want to change you, there is always going to be people out there who will support you and will help you through this! God bless you and good luck!
Good Luck !!!!
Cycling helped me, as a replacement addiction.
You got this Manuel !!!
Manuel, I am 55. I drank my first alcohol at around 8. In the past thirty years there have been only a handful of days when I did not drink. All of this advice is helpful but it doesn't help the physical part. Indeed, most anti-addiction counseling amounts to "do what you know you should and suck it up" (I went to drug rehab twice as a teenager) They rarely, if ever, provide you with the tools to deal with your physical changes. Part of the problem is your body is used to what you are addicted. Two words: Wim Hof. When I saw that Jordan Peterson made a video with Wim I didn't watch it for some time. My first impression of Wim Hof was that he was a hippie mystic. Further investigation led me to the knowledge that there was a strong scientific basis behind his method. I am now at three months plus without a drink and rarely even crave it. Those few times which I have I simply did the breathing and felt better. Try it! It is totally free and only takes a few minutes a day. ua-cam.com/video/nzCaZQqAs9I/v-deo.html
To recover oneself one has to have a community to relate to.
Loneliness or emptiness, not being around other people is problematic
for me.
I need people around me to confirm my authenticity.
This is profoundly beautiful, if only our society understood this ❤️🙏🏼
I think we're at the beginning stages of that happening :)
@@jamesgrissom6386 I hope so!
I think many individuals do understand. Our problem, sociologically speaking is way more complex and difficult to address because the individual loses its sense of self in the mob.
Humans fundamentally have freewill, as long as the individual focuses on him or herself he will have greater control in his or her life. stop with excuses.
@@mistycloud4455 Trauma causes all kinds of confusion and identity issues, which controls behavior, it's not an excuse it's reality. People like Gabor Mate doing work like this to solve the trauma problem is how the world is going to heal.
The artistry is just as good as the message in this video.
I know, right!?
I agree. I dont agree with every word in every video on this channel, but the drawings perfectly represents em. Great work here im glad i found the channel....or did it found me?
Agreed.
y e s !
Honestly, the colours are just... Their illustrator is truly a genius, and I hope is paid handsomely
As someone in recovery AND therapy, I must say that this is the most concise description of the connection between childhood trauma and addiction I've ever seen.
Imagine how society and the human-built institutions would transform if we all understood and accepted what Gabor teaches
Colleges are going bankrupt. Perhaps we should turn some of those campuses into rehabilitation centers. 🤔
@@AfterSkool that's definitely an idea. Turn the negative into a positive
We have become a society that values money above all else. And short term, if there's no money in making people better or healthier, we tend not to prioritize the behavior
@@Skizzy461 Except the focus isn’t about making people healthy, it turns toward keeping people sick with the idea that we’re making them healthy. I’m not disagreeing, just an observation. Beautiful video though. Hopefully Mr Mate has more material on this subject. I enjoyed it
@@justintime6242 As big pharma's saying goes: "a patient cured is a customer lost."
"The loss of self is the essence of trauma".
Totally relatable to me.
Me as well
Same, but we got to find ourselfs, for its not our fault for the child abuses
to me as well, but i just dont know how to..i dont even get it how to think about myself, how to find myself, just by...thinking?
@@EnergyTVify do the things that you are affraid of doing it, and become a real ALPHA MAN, fuck fear and dont give a f about anyone opinion! Dont be evil man, be GOOD man but not coward, be FEARLESS. Get yourself a beautiful girlfriend/wife, and successful job, and LAUGH in the face of the one that was abusing you. Never be soft, BE HARD !! And fuck fear
I realize now i never even knew who i was still dont know who i am spent so much time looking for somebody to love me did soo much for attention from anyone i never learned to love myself for who i am not what makes people attracted or love me
The hardest part about living with depression is it makes you not care about your life enough to try for positive change. Its hard not to just give yourself over to something like an addiction when you regularly have suicidal thoughts anyway, but are too scared to actually take your life. So you give in to self destruction and addiction in hopes that it will eventualy take you instead. Like a longer way of killing yourself. Because if you die to an "accidental overdose" it is seen as a tragedy but suicide is seen as selfish.
Do you know Jesus? He can help you. Call on Him. Receiving Jesus through the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass not only on Sunday but daily if possible, frequent Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, and frequent Confession (weekly if possible) keeps me on the bright side of life. There are RCIA programs in each Catholic parish. Consider exploring it. The Sacraments Jesus left us are powerful! (Why the enemy always trying to snuff them out!) I wish you a beautiful life! Jesus is soon returning. RSVP today! Take care and God bless you! ❤️
Think of addiction as pain relief. Think of your anger as the cause of the pain. Give up the anger.
Wow
@@msimon6808 what if you don't have any anger?
@@jeremiahbriney4899 No anger - no addiction.
Which means you haven't found yours. It happens. If you have been covering it up for a long time it will be difficult to uncover. None the less no pain - no need for pain relief.
I’ve never hated a video for being so true so much in my life 😢
“Trauma is not what happens to you, trauma is what happens inside of you” just beautiful
It’s both.
@@LilyRose-theOne not really. U can have two people have the exact same experience. Could be siblings n yet how they internalise the experience is what makes the difference.
@@Shiggystardust - when siblings were involved in a serious car crash, it doesn’t mean that the car crash wasn’t traumatic because one of the siblings or both were tough and weren’t affected internally too much by this incident. It was traumatic for them, only the degree how this trauma affected them is what makes the difference.
@@LilyRose-theOne you wouldn't know it was traumatic for them unless they felt that way themselves. hence why trauma can only really be something that happens inside of you, not to you. how you feel about a traumatic experience dictates whether or not you have been trauamtized by that experience. two people can experience the same traumatic event but it can be possible for one person to not have been effected by it at all; meaning they wouldn't be traumatized.
@@chantalreneehayles7976 - really? Show me a girl that was raped and wasn’t affected by it at all, or a person who was hit by a car and wasn’t affected by it at all, or a person who was beat up and wasn’t affected by the experience. Traumatic experience always affects your energy system. It only the degree of how it affects you makes the difference.It varies from person to person, but trauma is always traumatic.
Hes right. I didnt drink to get drunk. I drank to feel love inside me.
Yeah seriously. This video hits the nail on the head for the most part, but it's definitely not _just_ childhood trauma that drives someone to do this. There can be external factors. What made it so hard for me to stop doing drugs was that I lost motivation due to how bleak and hopeless the future appeared to be; global warming, 6th mass extinction ,growing amount of non-biodegradable trash and chemicals infesting our rivers and oceans...then there's politics, ugh. It's like what's the point man?
@@anthonyitaliano7316 of course there are lots of signs the world is going to shit. But we do have some control over our personal lives. At least until our city gets flooded or a nuke goes off...
I drank to not feel anything and to get out of my head.
Childhood really is the root of everything in life. I’ve spent most of my life trying to rediscover my inner child. Even the search for a good woman to love is, I realise, a desire to return to the warm embrace of my mother’s bosom.
Omg I'm crying I believe the same
Yes. I believe it too
BINGO!!!! That’s it.
You sound like Jim Morrison 😂
Facts This is especially not the time to experiment with anything
Just wanna say thanks that I can see my problems now more clearly, I will try my best to find myself again and become the won my younger self always wanted to be. Wish everyone out there having problems a lot of blessing and support 🙌🏼
This is 100% what happened to me. But I am happy to report that I will be celebrating 3 years sobriety in August. Recovery is possible.
Eyyyy! Congratulations on your 3 years!
I would like to point out that childhood trauma is NOT an excuse to get addicted to heroin. there is absolutely nothing wrong with using heroin recreationally in my opinion, but I have a huge problem with heroin addicts. heroin addicts give us responsible users a bad name and are part of the reason why the stuff is illegal.
want to use but don't want to get addicted to heroin? here is some advice:
-don't inject, its insanely euphoric and dangerous. save injecting for retirement. just snort/smoke it until then, or take it orally.
-don't use more than 1-2 times a year.
Same…I’m still trying to find what the trauma was. It’s hard to narrow it down because I can always remember being distant and withdrawn from most circumstances involving people.
How did you do it?
@@katerhinex To be honest, I lost a lot of relationships as a result of my binge drinking and I got embarrassingly drunk in front of my oldest and best friend. As a result the next day I was so terrified at the possibility of losing his friendship that I made the decision to quit drinking. I had found something more important to me than getting blackout drunk, and I gave up the only thing that could destroy it. If you’re struggling with addiction, I sincerely hope you find something just as valuable. ✌🏻
This is so important...People often associate addiction with alcohol, drugs and stuff like that. But addiction can mean a lot of things. I developed an ED and I get "high" on the feeling of my empty stomach and the dizziness that comes with a few days of not eating. That's why its completely useless in this cases to just tell someone eat more or eat less, because its not about the food, its about the behaviour and the addiction behind it.
OMG this. So true, it happened to me
The high you get is your liver releasing glycogen. It stores it and releases it when there is no food. People that fast also experience it. Ive felt it once or twice while fasting. But I love food so I rarely fast.
@Carb Snobler eating disorder?
Wow, this makes so much sense
I struggle with porn/masturbation addiction so trust me brother I feel you addiction can be anything. Let’s keep educating and following dr. Gabors mate’s advice… it will save us. I’m praying you 🙏😀
“So, what is it that people find when they recover? They find themselves.”
This truth needs to be shouted from the rooftops. We, as humans, should want nothing more from others than for them to know and be themselves.
Thank you for this video. 🖤
Sober from heroin and opiates since April 26, 2012.
Congratulations on your recovery - that's ffantastic! :)
@@julianhartley7581 Thank you. 🙏🏻 I never take it for granted. 🖤
Great job
@@jarentv7273 Thank you. 🙏🏻
Hey so we gonna come have a BBQ at your place next year? 😂
I watched like 6 times and just cried like a baby.
💝👐
Why? 😐
@DwightLivesMatter she's starting to find herself? What's not to cry about?
@@DwightLivesMattershut up troll
This touched a spot in me that hasn't seen light in a damn while
Theres always light no matter how dark
@@highfrequency1483 Always 😌
thats kinda gay
@@paveantelic7876 😂😂 whatever floats your boat
i wish you the best... scary stuff
When the love of parents is conditional you subconsciously learn to follow only what your parents want and lose who you really are.
That's my case . They are manipulative they tell me they love me but when I do something I love and it isn't what they want I'll get lectures and lectures for that until I leave and close my room and cry as much as I can . Now I don't even know who I am . I have severe people pleasing problem so I don't know how I should act and stuff . I literally live in my room imagining that someone is watching me a d act how they would want me to . Everyday All day long this is my reality which I want to end .
@@bogosbinted._. Maaan I relate so much to that. I find it bizarre and even surrealistic to think that I could have been a real person. That I could have had authentic likes, interests and feelings.
Everything about my personality is so fake. I smoke weed every day or else I can't stand the boredom.
I wish I could die as well
@@franacha bro if I could get weed I would but now I can't . And to add to the misery they removed my door knob and now I would have to wait to be alone before I cry frl . Toxic parents are the worst kind . I haven't ever been to any party and dating that's just so so far away .
@@franacha also keep living dudee there will be some time for us as well
@@bogosbinted._. Yes, toxic parents should never have had children. But here we are, the failed experiments.
But I don't believe that there will be a time for me. I'm 28 and my true personality has been gone for more than 20 years. My life is wasted and I am a fake person. A bod without a personality. I can't die, because of my family. But I surely wish I could go
I had a really messed up childhood. I discovered that the world can be a very dark place at a very young age. My mind came up with things that no child should ever imagine. Since it’s the beginning of the year I should dedicate the new year to finding the ME that I was proud of. Self improvement has been my personal goal these past few months and this video gave me a whole new perspective.
Welcome home brother. Its a long road ahead but keep improving yourself everyday. A little bit more positive each day and a little bit happy. Im on the same road myself. Full of uncertainty but im not afraid anymore. Excited what tomorrow will bring! Cheers! 🍻
I've started a parenting my inner child course, after only one session I feel better. Perhaps this can help x
@@MarleyMa24 that's very interesting, parenting inner child. Correcting our self about the mistakes we did in the past and this time there's no outside influence, just ourself teaching ourself to become better
Hey bro what’s your snap we can talk
Just got clean after about 12 years of opiates. The most eye opening thing I've noticed is how many people comment how something is different about me. It's weird how impactful that is for my sobriety
Saw this quote the other day: “Sometimes, the only reason why you won’t let go of what’s making you sad is that it was the only thing that made you happy.”
That’s how I feel when I look back at my childhood - it was super violent and chaotic…but I did have good moments. When it snowed, when I played with my siblings (even though we fought a lot), when I would go to camp, when we’d get Chinese or pizza for dinner. It’s very - very - difficult for me to be able to remember any positive memories without the pain brought with it. It makes me happy to remember but also anxious.
"we always trade authenticity for attachment" damn that hit the fucking nail right in it's head.
"The Mind Is A Beautiful Servant, But A Dangerous Master."
- Buddha
Don't let this distract you from the fact that I get bullied because my classmates think my videos are the worst. Please don't agree, dear daca
Nice quote!
@@AxxLAfriku what the fuck what to say bro
@@AxxLAfriku they are the worst. I dont think you deserve bullying but yea they're pretty bad bro.
@@AxxLAfriku Seeing as you're commenting on this video, is this a cry for help? Please find help, you certainty need it
I started doing drugs since my teenage. Got addicted to heroin for over 16 years. Heroin addiction actually destroyed my life. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Amen God bless people. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health.
@@AmandaKimberly-vp7jnCan you help me with the reliable source A. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in France. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.
@@ThomasBurlson-m5ryeah , he's Dr jeffshrooom he got magic mushrooms , DMT , LSD and other psychs
@@SuvariBoorish-yh3rjmushrooms in the same way and they have really helped him. mah dudes have safe trips all.
@@MilitaryBase-wt8jrI wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence. How can I get contact with him? Is he on insta??
Our generation is starving for more voices like this. Compassionate, gentle, dare I say feminine. You can literally hear the humility and magnanimity in the tone of his voice. People don't respond to exhortations from the pulpit, but to the soft loving-kindness that feels their deep rooted pain and respects it
This comment is spot on, he has a rare voice lol
No we not need more “feminity” towards men. Its already too much a hole
"Compassionate, gentle, dare I say feminine." this isnt feminine talk. this is how people with an actual head on their fucking shoulders view things. its pathetic how not being a jackass is considered feminine.
@@waynerenolds3955 right? can't believe they conflate basic human decency & compassion as with femininity. because in that case, i wish everyone in the world were feminine. 😅
Welcome to life post ww2 when you side with the communists
I have been addicted to: porn, marihuana, social media, relationships, bad friendships, stealing, casual sex, videogames, and even youtube. I still have a "relationship" with my mom, but now i see, that actually we never had one. Is very hard to recover from that, and now being an adult i struggle a lot with work, friendships, and i can't enjoy anything i do. I rediscovered recently that i like to sing a lot, but i always feared of actually learning and improve the way i do it, or even i was afraid to do it at all in front of people. After watching this, i think i know what to do. Thank you.
Same
I haven't had a healthy relationship with just about everything
i felt this. i recently have slowed down on certain addictions related to the internet / social media due to the fact that i literally noticed how it was changing me. my addiction to marijuana has never slowed and intact it seems like it grows with the stress in my life. always looking for the next strain to try to search for that splendid high that never seems to come because i’ve never taken a tolerance break over probably a week, & even that might be a stretch to say. i always sabotage relationships in order to protect myself but what i end up doing is hurting myself and it turns into a cycle because i AM being genuine but then my insecurities begin to take over my soul. my mom and i have a distant relationship as i moved out at like 19 for freedom & a relationship and she moved to a diff state so i barely get to visit since i’m just working and drinking/smoking my life away… i haven’t seen my grandparents in a little bit and everytime i do, i cry. my great grandma makes 1 year in april since she died and i haven’t been the same since. i know this will get lost in these comments which is why i’m writing it but i truly haven’t expressed these feelings to anyone and it feels like nobody would understand. everyone has a solution for things they haven’t gone through.
@@melxnh3ad Shit hurts don't it? God bless you.
hey its been a year. Hows your singing. hope you let your pipe be free, homie
So you've done what majority of people have done, they are life lessons not addictions 😂
This is 100% accurate. If there's no or little trauma people have limits and stop doing things they know isn't great for them but people with bad trauma will do almost anything to alleviate it. Because it's actually that bad.
And this is not just about addiction. The corona crisis shows me, as a psychologist, how many people are traumatized and how much their subsequent need to conform alienates them from their feelings and their needs. It is shocking to me. And authentic people who can feel that something is profoundly wrong stand very alone.
@@patrickmclean9796 I know exactly what you mean. We are not that alone, though... But shocking nevertheless how most people are not connected with themselves. As a psychologist, a have a lot of empathy for them, but admittedly feel a bit overwhelmed. A patient of mine said last week that it seems to him that the whole world has turned into a psychiatric ward. Well, I couldn't object to that.
💔
I suffered from many forms of childhood abuse in my early years. I have CPTSD. I have an ACE score of 7. One of things that I've learned is that addiction is indeed not a personal fault. It is literally the mind and body using a survival technique to keep living. I know that without my addictions I would not have survived this long. Though my life span has been dramatically reduced by the trauma, abuse and neglect. Not the addictions. Everything Dr. Gabor presents is true. I know it is true because I lived that life and I came to the same conclusions in my studies and recovery.
It's not your fault. These are critical words every addict needs to understand. It's not a personal failing. It's a survival technique. Get help. Help for your addiction but most importantly for the source of your addiction. Your trauma, abuse and neglect you suffered as a child. Learn to love yourself. It's really, really, really hard to learn to love yourself unconditionally. But it will change your world and how you live. You didn't get the love and nurturing you needed. You probably got the opposite like I did. But you can be the foster parent for your inner child or children. Be the loving, kind, nurturing parent you needed and still need. I promise, it will be the best thing you ever do. Of the decisions I've made in my life, my best, by far, was taking up the challenge to heal. It's been incredibly hard but find a good therapist for trauma, I repeat, for trauma, and your life will get better. I love me now, like I used to love me before the abuse became too great and destroyed my identity and left me broken for decades.
I'm so Happy for you!!!
I cried at the end. Reconnecting with myself after years of addiction And pain is intense lots of crying but it feels so good and freeing. Let's all wake up and reconnect without ourselves and the beauty of God and nature ❤️❤️❤️
But letting go of one self, letting go of the ego wich is attached to the past, the future, the present is the ultimate freeing releaving liberating state you can have aswell ,be in , there for addiction. There are less harmfull ways for the body though.I recommend buddihism. For example listen to; Ajahn Brahm, Letting go, etc. Wich can help.
i’ve only discovered my deep inner trauma recently with my therapist and watching this made me realize a ton. no longer am i mad at my mom, but feel empathy for her because she didn’t get the love she wanted growing up- ending up in not knowing how to handle me. it was never anyone’s fault.
Patrick Teahan is an excellent therapist on UA-cam and he believes in holding the parents accountable. Saying they were abused (like I always told myself so I tried to forgive their poor parenting through compassion)doesn’t cut it, according to Patrick. Your mother, just like both of my parents and step parent could have chosen to get therapy instead of passing down the generational trauma. All the best to everyone here, I wish us all healing and a more peaceful gentle life.
I wish you the best in your healing journey. Love yourself, you are worth it.
@@HereComesKarma So how are you meant to reconcile abuse/neglect from parents? This seems like a good way to move on tbh
@@HereComesKarmaYour comment is dumb, our parents didn't have phones or computers in their time so they didn't have access to information like childhood trauma or breaking the cycle at their fingertips like we do, therapy also wasn't a common thing back then.
@@HereComesKarma My grand mother chased my father with a meat cleaver. I only got beatings. Once I gave up my anger, I helped my dad heal. We had about 15 good years together before he went in the hospital.
Addiction is to mask all emotional pain, not just for self, but to save face of having pain to show society. - brian padrick drake
THIS THING! Is the most fucking eye opening shit in my life in a long while. Recovering from gambling addiction that lasted for 10years and this video just gave me the final blow to go out there and RE-CONNECT.
literally so happy to hear this, i can’t imagine everything its taken to get this far but as far as the future i really hope that you find what you are searching for and are satisfied🤍🤍
proud of you
👌👌👌
And be sure to connect with YOURSELF!
@@mountainmolerat excatly everything starts with YOURSELF. If you go out looking a savior its not gonna get any easier.
I went looking for the little child inside and made friends with that child in me. We cried together about her wounds. We hugged 🤗 and I promised to love and protect ❤ her. In doing so I protect myself from harm.
Beautiful, thank you for this
This is beautiful.
I had a housemate once. He was heavily addictive and traumatized to the bone. One morning I came downstairs to find an empty beer bottle on the table. He had peeled off the label, leaving a layer of white paper behind. Then, using a fineliner pen he created the most gorgeously intricate design for a beer bottle ever. It could easily have been designed for a professional job.
In the middle it said: "Beer is a friend."
This hit me hard. Beer is definitely my friend. Maybe my best friend. And in a fucked up way, it's been a healthy friendship.
I might have killed myself if good ol' beer wasn't there to take away the pain enough that I could look at what I have, and be grateful, and see that things could be better. I truly believe that. And for that, I'm truly grateful to my addiction. Thank you beer.
Sometimes the medicine and the poison are difficult to tell apart.
But now I know that friendship needs to end.
Beer. Mother, brother....... secret loverrrr
@@dfrntlvltc5095 is that a Homer quote?
@@Carlos-ff7rm Yes, direct quote from the beer loving author of the Iliad...
@@dfrntlvltc5095 Ah, I mistook it for Television. ua-cam.com/video/DumCuR4mdpQ/v-deo.html
I never used "time outs" or "go to your room" because I felt like it was telling my child that I did not want them around me, when the opposite is true. Even if I am upset or aggravated or even disappointed, I still always want my child around.
My dad left when I was 2, and my mom left at 7 to drive a truck. After 30 years of alcoholism I understand. This is a perfect way to put it.
When I smoked weed I FINALLY wasnt so confused anymore. After being gaslit and told I can do nothing and my sister being hyped up like a god all my life I remember my first time being stoned. Finally something made sense and I didnt have this "blocking" thoughts. I could let my mind run free and not have these negative thoughts. I finally relaxed and felt a little good about myself. It felt like peace.
A negative mind created in my childhood, confused, scary, insecure with a bad self image. Always blaming myself for everything while others were creating the chaos with dirty tricks.
Watch out for the closest people in your life, you trust them but they can be the ones secretly gaslighting you into a insecure person for decades so they feel at least better than you.
OMG I FEEL U! people just can’t even imagin how unreal everything feels when u are deeply traumatised…And weed made me feel „real“ for the first time in my life.. I was like „ HOLD ONN ,I HAVE A BODY??!?!?“
I did that about 8 years ago. havent put the bong down since, i like it so much im addicted. Get furious and sweaty, cant eat or sleep if i try to quit now. beware
Alcohol did this for me. I have to be blunt, it sounds like the marijuana has replaced what you were not getting from your home. This video basically is about this. Much love
Yep, parents have trauma they never dealt with and gaslit me to feel better than themselves, trauma myself from birth (born at 25 weeks gestation), menopausal symptoms from age 9, pot tobacco and alcohol use from age 17, age 37.5 got onto estrogen and progesterone and haven't picked up anything since
I have family exactly like this that's partly why I smoke weed theres a line in a song that resonates with me a lot "Even tho we're blood that don't mean that we're family cuz I know blood that never took that stand for me" realest shit I've heard
Unbelievable work. Seriously that's how the whole world should think and applying this to our children. Nobody teaches nobody how to be parents.
Sometimes addiction is a shield which we think will protect us, but what is it really? We hold on to our addictions, because we feel safe with them, because we wont have a reason to blame, so we wont even try, this video helped me realise that, thanks a lot
After Skool brings me tears, tears bring me release, release brings me clarity, and clarity brings me joy. Through this process, I am truly reconnecting with myself. Thank you so much, I am eternally grateful.
Awwww one love 🙏
You are awesome a poets with your words Thank You 🙏
At this point, everything is a trauma response and I want a refund or do over
LMAO
There is always time to find yourself and start anew
@@HotelSoapBand I don't think I'll ever know who I was
I'm reading all these comments and thinking FUCKING GET OVER IT to each one. I mean that's what I was constantly instructed to do, and guess what I did. So I got over fucking all my issues, but the trade-off is that my body fails lol I regularly have had to remove or path different organs and bones. Seemingly "Get Over It" it what we are told but that's the WORST response to it.
Trust me if you don't let that traumatic response out, it will fucking eat you alive from the deepest pit of your stomach, and take it from me you want to avoid this; life your life healthy having a shitty failing body sucks ass. Get over it? Nahh get it OUT instead!
Best of luck to you all God bless :) I think we all need to get used to other peoples angry responses in order that we can claim our own and not upset people with it. Once everybody has gotten their demons out, we can all have a smoke. No wait :D
Yes. Understandable. I've recently realized I've been 'on the run', all my life. Learning to truly love myself is hard, but my life depends on it.
i 1000000% believe only an addict can understand true addiction. so many ppl try to define & explain it, but if you haven’t been through withdrawal & failure of sobriety when you truly desire it, you’ll never Really know. my heart goes out to each & every addict. both clean or in active addiction.
Yep.
i agree, everyone thinks they know the solution, but many have never even experienced the problem.
The problem is most of us are addicts of one kind or another. Most people haven't had their needs met in childhood, had traumatic experiences or abusive treatment. It's probably the reason for most of societies ills.
The author of this video, Dr. Gabor Mate, was an addict for many years. It makes it even more interesting hearing his perspective on the topic.
Everyone is addicted to something!!! 🙄🤡
I Could remember several years ago I was diagnosed with ADHD. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
They saved you from death bud, lets be honest here. and mushrooms are one of the most amazing things on this planet i wish people would all realize. they could solve a lot of problems, more than just mental treatments, environmental clean up; the possibilities are endless with fungus.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Greece. Really need!
YES very sure of larymycology. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today
I Hate that psilocybin gets grouped with drugs like cocaine and heroin. Mushrooms are a remedy, not a vice! I went on a microdose treatment for a couple of months and within the first week, every sight of a cigarette got me questioning why I was doing all that to myself. It really works.
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
I often see, and have personally experienced, that the hyperfixation on addiction as a disease can distract from the fact that addiction is often just a symptom of trauma & insecure attachment. It becomes a way for abusive, or neglectful parents & family members to shift blame, and avoid responsibility. I appreciate videos like this a lot. Addiction doesn't carve out a void to settle in, the void was already there, and it's not your fault.
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Addiction fills the void, not creates one
Medical schools in America teach - addiction is a symptom of PTSD.
@@msimon6808 incorrect. habitual drug use can indicate any number of mental health issues, not just ptsd.
@@xmcerer thats literaly what they said
As an addiction counselor and someone with over 28 years in recovery, this is almost exactly how I approach addiction recovery for myself, and for my clients. Thank you!
How did you approach recovery?
I understand the reasoning of addiction but I haven’t seen or heard about an approach to recovery. Appreciate your insight, working with a 13 yo potential trauma addiction from starting
@@AnnieCan1950 thank you for your question. The answer would take a discussion to answer rather than the brief space we have here. If interested I'd be happy to discuss my thoughts and approaches with you.
This is why Heroin felt like a warm blanket being wrapped around me. It was the truest utter purest form of comfort and acceptance you've always been searching for.
I’ve always described my first time using as a warm heavy blanket being wrapped around me.
Oxy too
Just buy one of them warm weighted blankets then
@@Shagley 🤦🏻♀️
But also the deepest darkest demon you could ever be slaying at the same time.
Amazing! I’m starting my recovery journey too by addressing my deepest deepest pain and hurt and allowing myself to feel whatever emotions come bad and good because the child within me has hidden them for so long. Good luck in your journey ❤
I wish this guy was my therapist. Noones ever helped me in 20 years, and he's imparted more knowledge in 5 minutes to me and I feel like finally understand why I'm an addict
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You are loved. Please don’t give up 🙏❤️
Gabor Maté is probably one of the best addiction therapists in the world. Everything he says is backed by tons of research. I wish more people knew about him.
Go to an aa or na meeting. The solution is there. Good luck, 9 years sober here. It works.
💯💯♥️♥️
This is powerful. Some true words. This is why you have to think TWICE before brining a child to this earth. You can’t just make one and throw them into this thing called “life” know yourself and know everything around you!
Thanks to After Skool and Gabor Matte. As someone who suffers from severe chronic addiction I deeply appreciate any person or groups attempt to explain and understand addiction.
A few years back, I was really struggling with depression and mental health issues. I was hooked on cigarettes and alcohol, but then my wife suggested I try psilocybin mushroom therapy. Honestly, it saved my life. It's been 11 years since I've been totally clean. Those shrooms are like a miracle.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in UK. Really need
He's Shane.myco
The shroom experience stands as my most remarkable journey, an awe-inspiring encounter that left an indelible mark of amazement.
He’s on insta?
Yes, he is shane.myco
1: I never thought of myself as an addict.
2: once I realized I was in fact an addict, I didn't know why.
3: once I realized why, I had never felt more miserable and alone and I hated the person I had become because of my father.
4: once I accepted the reasons why, I was finally able to deal with it head on and evolve.
That was the 4 step process that changed my life. Hands down the hardest and most difficult thing I've ever done.
Love you, brother. I hope you're doing okay now.
I think got to step 4 last night
Thank you, I feel like I have been missing step four. I haven't been able to accept it and I have been stuck in limbo at number three for a while now and I want to get out of it, but I'm trying now.
@@alfrancowillmaradams Happy for you man, soar high an triumph my friend.
Going through it now. You’re not lying about it being the hardest thing. It’s excruciating pain. Glad you have evolved from it 🙏🏻
So many things clicked with me on this. The battle of authenticity and attachment is real, it's something I haven't been able to explain my whole life.
A lot of our parents give us conditional love growing up.
FACTS !!!
True
Some of them don't even give that.
Not even that but unconditional hate.
Because it may have been all they ever knew.
It's crazy that we already know so much about the human mind, and yet instead of helping people in need, we created a system that benefits from their misery.
Addiction is pretty much always a coping mechanism to mask other bad emotions - once seen from that perspective, it is much easier to have compassion with addicts
Humans fundamentally have freewill, as long as the individual focuses on him or herself he will have greater control in his or her life. stop with excuses.
Thank you for this ....as a woman in a 12 step program, recovering from drug & alcohol addiction, this was spot on. Both my parents were alcoholics, and it got ugly alot..I believe childhood trauma is very real. Thank you for bringing into the light where it needs to be
3 years sober from alcohol. Had alcoholic parents but they’re both sober now. It’s so beautiful we now heal together.
Happy for you. Keep moving forward 🪐
...and then what?
@@akjohnny5997 what?
@@DonutzandGravy thank you :)
man that makes me so happy for you and your parents.
I don't remember much of my trauma and I'm soo grateful. I think that is why I don't have nightmares and don't have addiction issues. I think a big part of addiction is self soothing from unstoppable horrific memories. I do a lot of self therapy and read a lot and watch a lot of videos on healing. I got incredibly lucky that I had a really good man as my stepdad who adopted me. My mother was unhinged and did everything in her power to destroy me. He helped buffer me from her. If I had not had him, I believe I would have been one of the addicted.
Wow. Hit the nail on the head. I am a trauma therapist and am blown away not only at all of this amazing knowledge, and its accuracy, but also that it seems to have been delivered in a second language. This man is beyond intelligent.
It resembles the concept of “racket feelings” in transactional analysis created by Eric Berne. It’s a fascinating concept stating that we repress feeling in our childhood which are “unsafe” or punished and we cover them up with “acceptable” feelings called rackets. A racket is a phony feeling which is a cover up , a substitution of an authentic feeling. Highly recommend TA it’s mind blowing helped me a lot
The work of Gabor Mate is notable
@@miami_dream_brows7152 TA?
@@neiloswald7491 transactional analysis
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