One time in 6th grade, there was this para educator to help the autistic and “problem” children. Something to note, I am autistic. One day, (this was science class) we were doing a test and I finished early, so I went onto a website called Khan Academy. The para ed came over to me and asked what I was doing. I explained what I was doing and she rolled her eyes. She said something (I can’t remember what). I looked her dead in the eyes and (with a straight face) said “I may be autistic but I’m not stupid.” My mom still tells that story
Someone was trying to start a fight with me after a several day insomnia episode, making me not sleep whatsoever, and my brain came up with "just because you were in this world first does not mean you will be here last"
My mom was hospitalized with a serious cardiac illness and the doctor came to see her while my dad was there. They were both in their 60s at the time. The doctor told her she didn’t have long, a few months at most. After the doctor left and they had talked a bit about it my dad said that he always figured he would die before her. She smiled and said “well, I guess you’d better hurry up!”
I don't have many of these moments, mostly because I'm a slow person. But recently, I was talking to my coworkers and was telling a story about an old friend of mine. Which was interrupted by my coworkers jokingly saying, "Wait, you have friends?" Which took a second or two for my brain to process, so in the meantime, I asked, "What was that?" He just responded, "Nothing." By this time, my brain had fully processed his original comment. And that's when another coworker asked, "Did you really not hear what he said." And without missing a beat, I responded, "No, I heard him. I just gave him the chance to stand by his words. Turns out he's a coward."
I was bullied throughout my childhood and up to my late teens in school and it was often physical. In beween 10th and 11th grade, I had a massive growth spurt going from 5'8 to just above 6'1 and by the end of 11th grade, i was the tallest kid in the school so people stopped getting physical with me. This one kid who always bullied me though decided that just cus i was tall, it didn’t mean i could fight so he attacked me in the middle of class when the teacher was out but he didnt know that in the short period of a year when i wasnt being bullied, i took up wrestling. It was a short and quick encounter and i just swept him up off his feet and slammed him onto a desk and he made the mistake of doing this with his girlfriend watching since we were in the same class so with him and she was staring at me with shock and awe since the guy was strong and i just made quick work of him and i said "try me again and I'll sweep your girl off her feet and make her fall for me". Felt like an arrogant prick after for saying that though so i apologised to his girl after in private
She probably fell for you when you apologized for objectifying her for the bit and I wouldn't be surprised if she thought you were badaxs afterward. Probably the talk of the girls group chat too.
@@sbetten01 wouldn't know. Years of bullying from girls and boys during that time made me think anyone who hit on me was doing it for a laugh, fun or out of a dare
@@kneecap9927Hope you've got your confidence up since adulthood buddy. You seem like a good dude so I doubt people would lie about any interest they have in you.
My brother kept telling me when I was growing that I was adopted. It wasn't true of course but he used to said it consistently enough to the point where it being annoying. One day, when at a family get together, he was getting angry about losing at a broad game we were playing and just to try and make me feel bad for winning he said "at least I'm not adopted". I said very quickly "at least they wanted me". He got laughed at but everyone there and he never did it again.
Ex wife was giving me a hard time about picking up my son on my scheduled day. Her excuse was her friend told her that if he doesn't want to go, then he doesn't have to if he's over 13. I told her "Look, I'm aware that you're illiterate so you better get some friends that can read legal documents better because this shit is gonna cost you". It did. I got majority custody at the next court hearing.
Worked security, had a lady screaming at me as I watched her leave property. “ you’re only staring cause you know you can’t have anything that looks like this” gesturing to herself. “Ma’am I’m gay, I don’t want anything that looks like that”
My mom said the iconic “I brought you into this world I can take you out of it.”and without missing a beat I said “yeah you do that but don’t come crying at my headstone after you serve 20 years of jail for murdering a minor.”
I was camping in Appalachia. I had set up a smokeless fire and was about to turn in for the night. I walked about 50m into the darkness to take a dump where there was softer ground to dig a hole. When I came back, there was a guy there, mid thirties perhaps, turning over my stuff and looking for things while gripping a hatchet in one hand. Being in the middle of nowhere, Appalachia is something you hear a lot of stories about. Indeed a lot of stories were tossed my way when my closest relations heard I was going. Scary tales that chilled my bones even miles away in the company of normal people by the light of day. I'm normally a coward. At that moment, I knew that I had escaped being a decades-long missing person by pure fluke. Why else would a guy approach a fire with a tent set up and a hatchet in hand if he was just looking for stuff to steal? Adrenaline basically took me like a dandelion seed in a hurricane and I bellowed "TEN SECONDS BEFORE I STAB YOU TO DEATH!" and whipped around and bolted like nothing I've ever seen. I've never ever ever experienced that amount of adrenaline before. I was all kinds of things. Scared out of my mind, angry at being scared, furious that someone was trying to off me, feeling trapped, feeling like a vengeful god, all wrapped up in my head. I kept thinking "I'm the king here! This is my turf! Step close and I'll see you step nowhere else ever again". I fully became an unhinged psychopath for a good ten minutes there, strutting around my camp fire and basically screaming into the night. In fact, after I had finished the breadth of my vocabulary, I actually was just screaming at the top of my lungs. My voice was hoarse for days. I remember thinking, or possibly even shouting, "I hope you come back!" and then going on to obsess about trying to verbally flay that man's mind. Was it badass? I'm not sure. But I did feel like I could have bitten a berserker in half for a good chunk of time there. After I became myself again, I threw everything into my fold up kayak paddled out onto the lake, dropped a makeshift anchor and fell asleep with my eyes open. Another first!
After picking up my sister from school, she was telling me how a boy at her school was calling her trash and how it had upset her. Without missing a beat, I told her "next time he does that, tell him "you must be a raccoon then since you keep coming back to me" it made her laugh and i still don't know where the hell that came from
Was in elementary school math once. Bored outta my mind. Teacher kept telling me to pay attention. Finally I said “I’m three lessons ahead of YOU teacher. I’m bored.” FYI I’m mildly autistic and do fairly well in math. The exasperated look my poor teacher gave me was priceless. Worth it.
In elementary school, my friend and I kept complaining to the teacher about class being too easy. But it wasn’t badass. She gave us extra next-grade work due to that 🤣
In eighth grade, my homeroom teacher gave us an example of how people were brainwashed into going along with the Holocaust. He called the loudest kids to the front of the classroom and said that they’d have to wear signs saying they’re not allowed to talk anymore because they’re too loud. They said that wasn’t fair, that they weren’t the only loud ones. He said, “Okay. Name the other people you think should wear the signs.” They started naming everyone in the class, including me. I didn’t argue, because I knew I could get loud at times. Then they called on the quietest girl in the class. Seriously, this girl couldn’t get above a murmur if her life depended on it. She was also the sweetest person I’d ever met. I had enough. I chewed them out, saying, “That’s enough! You guys can’t call everyone up here just because you don’t want to be alone in this. I’m not saying I never get loud, but she’s innocent! She never talks loud! Own up to your behavior!” Then I turned to the teacher and said, “And YOU can’t force us to wear signs saying that we’re not allowed to talk! If you have a problem with how loud we are, you have to find a better way to make us be quieter- one that doesn’t involve singling us out and isolating us from our peers as people to avoid and ridicule!” He looked directly at me and told me exactly how that kind of outburst would have been handled in the early stages of the Holocaust. He said that I would have suffered the brutal consequences of speaking out, but added that he was proud of me for doing it.
Y’all can say what you want about it, but it did happen. Just because you wouldn’t have had the guts to do that doesn’t mean we’re all a bunch of wimps.
I used to be bullied by this girl. Her dad had died in a car crash when she was like 2, and even though she never knew him, she was so emotional about him, and spent time out of lessons to walk with her freinds and cope with the "grief". My chicken had died, and she was going of at me about it. Finally, when she said " you could hug your chicken, but it's already buried". I turned round and said " yeah, well so's your dad". Coldest reply ever.
I applaud the stone cold reply but wonder if that didn't get you promoted from bullied by to ass kicked by. That is definitely an ass kicking worthy offense,
@@Snipergoat1 I didn't get in trouble because she was basically asking for it. Plus I'd reported her multiple times and nothing had happened to stop it.
I was in New Orleans with my friend, his mom, and sister. During the whole trip, his sister was bashing me for no reason, yet I was the one who helped more than she did. So, on the last day, my bud and I went to the bar Coyote Ugly for a last drink, but I was already drunk when we got back to the hotel, and we told his sister she said she would of danced on the bar like the movie. In my drunken state, my petty side showed up, and with a straight face, I said, "You know there is a weight limit" she was speechless and I didn't feel bad about it
After enduring a ride along with “my boss” in my beverage sales job I returned much earlier than expected to where her car was parked my boss asked, with a surprised look on her face, “are you done for the day “? I replied “no but I’m done with you for the day”. Total silence. Later I heard from our regional manager who was calling to say “thank you for the best laugh I’ve had in a long time”. Mission accomplished.
My friend mentioned the types of pets that I have and the waitress said, “oh I don’t think we can be friends then”. Without missing a beat I turned to her and said, “I’m not asking you to be my friend now am I?”. The whole table laughed hysterically by my comment followed with some “OH!”
I didn't do at the moment i waited for whole year It was in 7th grade my sanskrit teacher made fun of me infront of whole class by saying i don't have any talent & i am dumb & i am gonna fail But i topped the class in 7th grade & i proudly walked at her & took my result from her & smirked on her face then she said i must be cheated & i replied " from whom ? "
I suffer from chronic pain and use strong medication which mess with memory so important things like my wifes birthday i have multiple reminders so i don't forget
Feel THAT, chronic pain and strong meds really does mess with your memory! I do the same, and will colour in the date on a calendar in my kitchen so it’s obnoxious and colourful so I can’t miss it!
I had a locked an loaded 9mm (?) pointed at my temple. He was a friend of mine I'd met a few months earlier. Had a lot of beers and pool shooting together over that time. A very successful, clean cut man, very well dressed. He also was an Army Ranger in Vietnam, and had serious PTSD. I had no idea about that part. He had a "moment" at the bar where someone was trying to cheat him on the pool table. He was willing to unalive that guy. So he called me out to help calm him down. I said let's go to your place. I got him home and was sitting in his living room watching TV when he pulled the gun on me. He said "Are you scared?" I answered "Not really" He replied, "Why not". I said "If you don't shoot me, I have nothing to worry about. If you do shoot me, I have nothing to worry about". That statement figuratively, and literally disarmed him. He slunk to his knees and started crying. I honestly believe that God or guardian angels put those words in my mouth.
When I was in middle school there was this older, overweight, female bully on the school bus. We ended up arguing because she was being a verbal bully to everybody. She finally says "You think you're all that and a bag of potato chips" and I replied "You look like you ate qll that and a bag of potato chips" 😅😂 The whole bus lost it. She was never quite the same after that.
One time I was running for vice president of a club. It was the day we were gonna give our speeches. My friend who was also running asked me, “are you nervous?” I replied, “you call it nerves. I call it excitement.” I won that election.
Maybe not in the heat of the moment but in middle school I used to be bullied a lot from 5th to 8th grade, and had no contact with any girl (I'm an F), cue to one day when I walk into school, go to my class, and get stopped by the girl I hated the most, asking me "do I really have a boyfriend" (I changed my Facebook status from single to take night before) and I replied without missing a beat, "who said its a boyfriend" and passed her. I did not know what being gay was back then, so I accidentally came out in the coolest way possible (and surprisingly after that I was bullied less lol)
@@birbopikle6431 I’ve never once heard anyone accept that “you’re perfect in my eyes” it always is followed with “you need glasses” or “I’m not perfect.” So standard.
Omg one time In grade 8 I called air ball and this guy airballed his shot so he slapped me, and ran I started to just walk towards him and he walked back. He said “what’s gonna happen if I stop retreating?” and I said “come find out”
I don’t love jaywalking, but my parents always do it. It made me uncomfortable as a kid because I needed to cross with them. I don’t judge those who do it, I just don’t like being involved. I feel unsafe. Anyway, one time we were discussing it after having jaywalked, and my mom said “There’s no cars in the road so it’s fine” and being annoyed I replied “Yeah, well, just because there’s no plane on the runway doesn’t mean you should walk across it” because that way obviously dangerous. My mom laughed.
When I was 18, I got busted for shoplifting condoms at a Meijer. I was in the loss prevention office getting patted down. Female loss prevention officer comes in, sees the condoms, and says to me "You know you can get these at a health center for free, right?" I look her dead in the eyes and said "Yeah, but those ones don't glow in the dark." I ended up getting a $250 fine.
During one of our school holidays my sister(13) & our much older cousin (f25) started moaning at me(m18) about us running out of milk like I was supposed to do something about it. In the heat of the moment I yelled at them & told them to go milk themselves We all burst out laughing
One day when me my dad and my step mom were eating supper and me and my step mom were adding salt to something we were eating and he was going on about how bad salt is for you and I remarked back that sugar is worse (he has a sweet tooth) but he fully believed salt was worse so all three of us started debating about which was worse for you and suddenly I realized something and during mid debate I asked our Google Home Mini "hey Google which is worse for you sugar or salt" google responded back immediately that sugar is worse for you and that it found some studies that we could look at.
My dad and I were arguing (something about my mother) and he suddenly shouted "F-ck your mother!!" And I, not thinking, responded "You've already done that more than once!!" And we both just paused and stared at each other because no one knew what to say since that was so out of the blue yet so funny
So I wanna say that this ACTUALLY happened. (Fair warning, this is a long story. If you don't want to read a long story, skip this) When I was starting high school, first day, all the freshman had to go through the main office to file all our paperwork - like report medical issues and other things they needed on file - and it was absolutely INSANE. There were huge long lines as every office was being used for nurses to talk to students and teachers/aids/secretaries to go over the paperwork *with* the students. I had just finished everything and was ready to leave when I hear this adult just screaming at a girl for something. I can’t remember what, but I remember it was something inconvenient but small, like she lost some paperwork he needed. He was going 100% apeshit. She finally broke down and ran out of the office hysterically crying. He came out the door still screaming at her to come back here! And when she didn’t he SNARLED for the next person to come in. The next person was 100% petrified - like 'looking at his approaching death' petrified. I asked if I could go in ahead of him, and the kid looked at me with pure relief and said sure. I walked into the office and waited to be acknowledged, then told him that I didn't need his help with anything but I needed to tell him something. Very, very politely, I asked what he thought he could accomplish by treating students like that? That teachers were there to help kids, and kids were supposed to feel safe to approach a teacher for help, whether that be for schoolwork or for safety reasons. I asked if he thought that girl would *ever* come to him for help. He had just terrified her so badly that she was put into full-blown histerics over a completely minor thing. That she had probably just been emotionally scarred and traumitized. I asked if *any* of the kids outside were likely to come to him, considering that he's been yelling loud enough to be heard through the closed door. THEY were all terrified of him too! I acknowledged that this day was incredibly hectic, and as a teacher dealing with it he had to be feeling a lot of stress, and that was understandable, but as a teacher and potential role model he should find a better way of relieving that stress rather than focusing it onto one of the children he is legally and morally obligated to take care of. Then I hoped that he would have a good day and left. He looked completely flabbergasted. Everyone outside of the office was absolutely goggling at me like I had just juggled with my feet while yodeling, and I felt very self-conscious so I went to the bathroom to see if I could find the girl who had run off crying, hoping she'd just gone to the bathroom. She didn’t and I never found her. (I hope she later heard about this and got some solace) Anyway, after that it was a very calm day for me. When I got home I found out that one of the school secretaries had called my mother after my talking to the teacher. At first my mom thought I'd somehow gotten into trouble on my first day and lamented, "But she's the *good* one!" (all my siblings are troublemakers, I'm not) and the secretary said, "Oh she wasn’t good, she was GREAT" and then proceeded to give my mom the full scoop of what had happened and what happened next. This is how I can relate the next bit: Apparently, he had walked out after me and the following is a vague retelling of the following conversation: Teacher: Who *was* that? Secretary: Oh, that's ××××× ××××× Teacher: She's not related to- Secretary: Oh, she's their little sister. (I am the youngest child in my family, and all my older siblings took pride in being school hellions. They were always in trouble) Teacher: (visibly deflates)... oh. (Goes quietly back into the room and closes the door) (Everyone outside, secretaries, students, and nurses all struggle to hold back their sniggering laughter) So, remember my siblings are troublemakers and rulebuckers, but I'm not. I didn’t say anything that he could morally take offense to or blame him in any way. I was sympathetic and understanding, but I showed how his behavior was negatively affecting every student in the school. He couldn’t really refute anything. He sat very quietly in the room for about 20 min before he called in the next kid *much* more calmly. Apparently he normally lost his patience during the intake day with the freshman and no one had actually called him out on it before. The kids were normally too intimidated and the other workers didn’t want to risk their jobs. So when the secretary called my mom, she was calling to tell her thank you! They'd been wanting someone to call him on his behavior for years! And then, I found out WHY no one else had ever stood up to him. That wasn’t a teacher. That was the PRINCIPAL. I was sure I'd just made my high school life hell, but it went the other direction. That man avoided me like the plague for the next 4 years. If he saw me coming down a hallway, he would duck into a classroom until I'd passed or would straight up turn around and leave. The only time I heard him speak was at school-wide auditiorium announcements. Normally the Principal would be the one to handle any disciplinary matters with grades 11/12, and the vice-princpal did 9/10... nope, I had the vice-principal all 4 years. Thankfully, it seems that I really DID make him reevaluate his attitude as he was MUCH better after that, both that year and all the years following. As for me? I was amazed at how friendly everyone in the school was with me! Absolutely everyone seemed to know my name and gave me high fives and cheery greetings. I ended up with a really easy high school years as the girl who told off the principal and he couldn’t even punish me for it. (I won't say I was popular, but almost everyone was very laid back and nice to me. I never experienced cliques. I seemed exempt.) He knew how to handle every brand of troublemaker crazy my siblings had been. Punish them for bad behavior, rule breaking, or disrespectful attitude. He had no idea how to handle me who did not do anything bad, followed the rules, and was scrupulously polite even while I "ripped him up one wall and down the other over his behavior" (litterally how the secretary described it. What I've written is the short abreviated version. In reality I talked to him for about 10 minutes over the ethics of his behavior and how concerned I was for how it would affect the students and my sympathy on how frazzled he must be feeling to have lost control like that). He had no idea how to handle me, so his solution was to completely avoid me.
People always make jokes with my name, so in my 6th grade science class this girl who bullied me for a while asked me, "Hey Siri, call home" and without thinking I just said "Oh so you want me to call the orphanage?" I dont really remember much but people were laughing at what I said. My science teacher heard the whole thing, but didnt get mad at me, she just asked me if I was okay because she knew they were picking on me, I loved that teacher, but that girl making fun of me has since apologized (hence getting her suspended for a week due to other things she did to me) We don't talk but we also don't talk about eachother.
I sleep a lot, when I first started highschool I would come home, and sleep up until I had to go to school the next day. My dropout mother was upset with this so she says, “I don’t understand what the big deal is, highschool was so easy!” And I responded, “If it was so easy, why didn’t you finish it?” And she asked, “what?” Which usually means it’s time to say you’re sorry, but *I said it again.*
I don't say cool stuff in the heat of the moment I make jokes, I had a guy who was screaming and causing a ruckus and yelling at everyone because he ignored the store closing announcements and people telling him to hurry because we all wanted to go home and he said "the fuck are you looking at?!?" To me because I was just kinda angrily watching to make sure he knew if he hit someone he wouldn't get away with it and I said "well, you because you're being an ass" and then I opened the door for him to leave
I used to work for a small engine repair shop and this guy brings in his expensive Comercial lawnmower that he had his crew working on. He was so pissed that the deck was all busted up and kept saying he paid so much money for this and it's already broken. I asked if he had seen what happened, and he said no, the workers said they were mowing a lawn and boom. He was not pleased when I said "they know lawnmowers are ment for grass not boulders right?" My boss had never laughed so hard and it was glorious.
Afghanistan, in the Korengal valley, we were pinned in pretty hard, and my autistic ass just yells out "Surrounded? No no boy, we are in a target rich environment and mother fucker I'm feeling wealthy."
I was a little stoned one day and said to someone out of nowhere, "Look at you, you're 30 years old and everything you touch turns to shit." It was true, I had no control, it just came out like I'd rehearsed it.
Sadly I don't have any of these moments, but my 8th grade math teacher sure did. So basically my math teacher went around collecting people's homework, and my friend was looking for it in her backpack, and he went and asked her "where's your homework?" She responded with "hold on I'm looking. My papers are all over the place" and then that's when the teacher says "like how your grades are all over the place?". Whole class went wild. My man didn't have to do her like that🤣😭
this was on the 14th of October of this year. so a week ago. i was in pe and we were playing a game called benchball me and my best friend came in late from getting changed and were put on the same team. the teachers decided for our last pe lesson of the term, we were to play in our friend groups. we are an all girl pe class and all the mean popular kids are in there. we are known around the school and we popular until one of the other popular girls made a comments about my best friend , we will call her C. C was then hated by everyone and had always gotten into fights and arguments with them. i have never done anything to these people i dont speak look at or communicate in any way with them unless i have to. in the pe lesson, we were against C's worst enemy and they decided to throw the ball really hard at my face multiple times through the lesson. i was already going through a lot and they pushed me over the edge. at the half way point of the lesson when they chucked it again, the girl that threw it at me, i threw it back and i threw it hard. so hard i ended up giving her a bruise on her cheek. I have never been violent or mean to these girls and never resulted in violence because it scares me. i have trauma with being hit and abused by my parents and have lived with it since. you see these girls knew that bc we used to be friends until we moved to comp and i befriended chloe. after i threw it back at the girl, i stormed out of lesson where the teacher who decided the friend group team came out and yelled at me for ignoring her. i told her to get lost and that she needs to learn to do her job right. she knew everything that went down with those girls and C and she still decided it was a good idea. Anyways, the girl sent me into a panic attack and once it finished i was angry once again. the pe teachers grouped everyone in the hall with 20 minutes left i think of the lesson and brought us in. my boyfriend at the front and C still by me holding my arm to comfort me. my bf asked if i was ok and hugged me and sat down. After the teachers decided again it was a good idea to group ppl together, they also though it was good to solve this in front of everyone. after repeating that they need to do their jobs right and deal with bullying better than what they are i hear one of the girls whisper but it was loud enough for everyone to hear bc the hall was big and had a giant echo, "no wonder your dad beat you constantly, i would too if i put up with her attitude like that". i snapped for the first time and with everyone in the hall i shouted (i was very shy and still am) "my dad beat me because he was a drunk an an abuser, you dont know sh** about what happened to me and my family and to reply to that comment of yours, you cant say anything because your parents literally got divorced because of your bratty behavior (this was actually true she purposefully tore them apart bc she hated how she didnt get her way wiht one of them and not the other.)" she burst out crying and i was told to stop. as i walked out i said "the next time you say something behind my back remember two things. One: be quieter so noone can hear your nonsense and Two: remember that you know you place. if you talk about me behind my back your in your rightful place, that is behind me. we both know im better than you academically and personality wise. so remember when you talk about me behind my back, youre reminding yourself of how stupid and ignorant you are, but also how you know that i dont care enough to know what you have ot say so you have to spread lies to your desperate friends.". i may have got a detention but god was it worth it. My boyfriend and C stayed by my side the entire time and calmed me down. i love them both and cant imagine a life without them
Someone's been disrespectful to me so instead of getting angry or disrespectful with them I just asked them right or left in a calm voice, and after they chose right I said oh that probably wasn't the best choice for you but I'll keep that in mind next time you're being disrespectful
i came home wasted from a night in canada and my dad's wife said, "you're drunk!" i responded, "but in the morning i will be sober and you will still be ugly"
At work I'm goofy to help others smile. One day I grabbed a bucket and put it on my head and acted like everything was normal. Stupid I know. A higher up I'd never seen before was there talking to my boss. She sneared at me and asked in an obvious disgusted tone, "please tell me she bought that first" as if I was dirty or something. I spun around with a smile and said "since your so top notch on cleanliness maybe the hospital should hire you, you could also help with erections lasting over 4 hours" and left. My boss laughed later but told me not to do it again.
coworker and i were getting heated as it was very busy. not sure why but he wanted to take it out on me. he said "you ever had your jaw broken?" without missing a beat i blurted out "no, nobodys been dumb enough to try, wanna be the first?" it got quiet and we continued on with the night after that
I was having problems with a guy at work and I said bro please leave me alone, if you keep it up I don’t know what’s gonna happen between us. The guy: I’m not afraid of you. Me: Deer aren’t afraid of cars. 2. My aunt was being really dramatic because her husband left her after she cheated on him. She has 3 kids and asked my granddad to borrow money, he’s rather a onry cuss so he refuses. Aunt: What would YOU do if YOU had the weight of the WHOLE world on your shoulders?!! Granddad: Plant my feet. (with a straight face)
My biological mother (haven’t spoken to her in over a decade) was screaming abuse at me and called me a wh0r3. I bit back with “I don’t sleep around, the only one who does that it you, except I can’t even call you a wh0r3 because you give it away for free to any man who glances in your direction. Now get the F out of my house” She put up her hand to hit me and I just smiled at her “Go on, do it, I dare you, see what happens, because the Police won’t get here quick enough to save you and I’m BEGGING for the excuse. Go on, DO IT” Last time I saw or spoke to her, she wasn’t invited and got angry that I didn’t want to invite her into my home, so she started screaming in hopes to wear me down. I have PTSD and it’s never picked flight, it’s always fight, but I was restrained enough to control my actions and made it clear she couldn’t get away with violently attacking me or screaming at me any more. The peace I’ve had all these years has been nothing short of a blessing!
I actually love to tell the story. So my friends and I were hanging out and I needed to go home because I had work in the morning. So I show them what time it was saying "hey it's like 10:00 and I still need to go home and get to bed." They didn't realize I'd been using the 24-hour clock system for a few years now which I did entirely on a whim. Asking why I did so and they argued that it makes no fucking sense. Anyway I was standing in the doorway at this point and an annoyance I said "well it sounds like y'all just can't count past 12." And shut the door. It's my proudest moment as of late.
Not really badass, more like unintentionally rude. Although I did make several people laugh. For context Dante is one of my friends, he knows I’m just joking whenever I’m mean to him, it’s just revenge for him dead naming me for an entire school year. We were in history class and Dante had said something causing the new student teacher to start paying attention to him, Dante started to freeze up and I took the opportunity to roast him, “I get it, you get overwhelmed when people actually are nice to you”. It didn’t help that another friend, Dill then stepped in, “yeah it doesn’t happen that often”. I apologized later after my friend Max told me how rude it was. 😅
I had this awful coworker who was childish and annoying all the time. He was always between boring and irritating, always trying to boss me around even though I was way more experient (and competent) in that job than him. One day when we were returning we had a huge fight in the train and I spilled "I had 14 coworkers in the last 2 years, and didn't get along with only 2, including you. I have statistical evidence that I am not the problem". He never tried to boss me around again and seemed quite depressed for the rest of our time as coworkers, but you know, fuck that guy
The funniest shit I’ve said happens to also be the most redditor thing I’ve said but it worked and humiliated the guy. Guy was tryna act tough, we’re friends but not insanely close. Women around so he’s tryna act hard and said I looked like a bitch right to my face. Without skipping a beat I said “that’s the difference between you and me, I look like a bitch while you are a bitch” I doubt that line would ever work again😂
(No one cares, I’m gonna say it anyway) My dad once fucked something up and yelled at me for nothing (he just had a really shitty day, he’s a cool dude 99% of time honestly) and I got so pissed that I slammed my door and said that he’s not my father anymore, doesn’t sound too drastic at first but we’re like brothers normally, like best friends and I’m also his only child so when he heard that he was dead and I ofc didn’t mean it but I still regret saying it
Me and my extended family were eating after my sister's softball game. My uncle was the coach, and they *lost* the tournament. I accidentally knocked over my drink and as everyone frantically went to clean it up, my uncle said, "Good job. Good job." I looked him dead in the eyes and said, "Good job coaching." The whole table went silent.
My friend was a know it all and would preach about psychology and understanding the self while boosting his ego cause he sounded insightful. He would go on about random concepts mid conversation fishing for someone who has yet to hear about it and would eventually be like “oh you don’t know about Occam’s razor” or some bs like like and proceed to give his lectures. I got fed up with it at one point and accidentally fell into one of his conversational traps. While he was acting all high and mighty about his knowledge I just blurted out “WELL IF I DONT KNOW THEN EDUCATE ME, DONT BELITTLE ME!” Infront of everyone in the room. Took everyone by surprise and one of my friends ended up saying “damn, that was the best response I ever heard”
I have sensitivity to light and sound, the place where I worked was very bright and very loud so it causes me constant migraines each and everyday, one day we had a break time and I decided to pick out a movie to watch on the tv and I picked out the Nightmare before Christmas, as soon as the movie started the entire vibe of the room changed as if they were watching something odd happening, I happily sang along to each song including the Oogie Boogie song and the coworker next to me looked at me and said " this song is you're weird, you're weird, this movie is weird " and I just looked at him with pure hate like you better apologize or else kind of look he backed up really quick, later on I laughed at something during the movie, now I have 3 laughs, a mocking laugh, a hyena ish laugh and a joker laugh, guess which laugh he heard? If you guessed joker you are correct, now when I Joker laugh I don't have full control of my voice its an uncontrolable laugh and the co worker who had mocked me earlier heard me laughing and went " she sounds like the Joker " and laughed at me with one of the bosses I wasn't gonna let that slide I went up to him and the boss and went " you should be ashamed of yourself making fun of someone " the boss looked at me and went " we aren't making fun of you" I called her a Gaslighter and abuser and left the room I don't feel bad at all they deserved it
Mine is definitely when I was really young and my mom was complaining and yelling about something again and I told her "I'm not your therapist, I'm your child, you need to go talk to a professional." She stood there for a minute in shock then just said "you're right" and walked away
Ok so if you’re not aware, the people over on tumblr have their own kind of inside jokes/pseudoculture, and I once saw a post talking about it and how apparently people outside of tumblr think certain things are hilarious or insane or whatever when it’s just commonplace to us. One of the examples given was someone and their mom having a disagreement during a family car ride. The mom says “well I beg to differ.” and without missing a beat the person says “then beg.” which is one of the tumblr inside jokes, and the entire rest of the car ride was completely silent.
There was a bit of a fued going on between a couple of old school friends who were approaching their 20s. One of them posted a selfie to Facebook and the other left a comment on it reading "slut" ... Sick of the bitchiness, I hit back with "says the woman with 2 kids from different fathers with a third on the way before the age of 21..." A few weeks later I was out clubbing and bumped into some people that saw the message, and they exclaimed that they never expected her to be called out like that. I just shrugged "her perspective needed readjusting."
Not super badass but, for context, I’m a girl in construction and when I’m bored with nothing to do for a bit I’ll just kinda start doing pushups or otherwise little workouts, idk why necessarily I do this but it keeps my blood flowing and ready for when they do need me- anyway, one of my ex coworkers(he was eventually fired for being a lazy 💩) would nag at me and poke fun at me doing that and how it wouldn’t matter if I worked out because the guys are stronger, blah blah. So one day he had been annoying everyone and people just kinda went on(it was a long day) but eventually I saw him struggling to carry something and I come in to take it from him so he wouldn’t break it - it was heavy but he shouldn’t have been struggling 😂 so when I set it down I turned to him and said “seems like you might want to consider doing some fucking pushups yourself, Jacob” as I rolled my eyes and walked past him.
In high school, some girls were talking about hand lotion, and our male teacher asked me if i used lotions being a type 1 diabetic. Not missing a beat i said, not for my hands, its just easier putting in one first.
I remember one time about 3 years ago me and my friends were talking in the lunch line to get food and it somehow turned into one of my friends saying I was gay and without thinking I said "im more strighter then the pole your mom dances on" I've never heard that phrase before but I was confused about what I had said before being proud of myself, my friend dabed me up
To be fair to grandma, their grandchild has a young mind and anywhere from 1-4 grandmothers. Where as the grandmother is old and could have a dozen grandchildren.
this one happened a couple weeks ago actually and i feel bad for saying it now. i was angry and driving a little faster than allowed and she pulled up next to me at the lights and said “it’s not cool to drive like that” i snapped back instantly and said “it’s not cool to wear glasses either”.
One day I was walking back with the groceries from the store about a 10 minutes walk from my house and right in front of my house 3 teenagers on bikes were mocking a kid who was helping his dad fix his car. The kid said "If you're really tough you'd get off the bike". The one in front got off his bike and they got into position, ready to fight. I dropped my groceries thinking "this is gonna be sick" and said "Anyone jump in and they're dead"
My bully said something about me needing to wash my hair(I did that morning) and I asked her "since when do you care?". Girlie's dumbass reply was "I'm a changed woman". Without missing a beat, I said "Oh? Did you f*ck yourself one to many times?". I was so stunned by my own answer my hand flew to my mouth while my friend burst out laughing.
One time I went to school and had tried out a new make up look with some fun eyeshadow. I’m in the last class of the day and this kid next to me turns and says something along the lines of “does your dad hit you or something?” Without missing a beat, I turn to him and say “no my dads dead.”
I had a friends with benefits thing going on in high school with my now best friend (we rarely talk but check up on one another once or twice every few months and catch up on life and then go back to living life) but i had bleached my hair to dye it the colors i wanted but it didn't do much, just lightened it a tiny bit. He said "does the carpet match the drapes" and i being witty and really dumb said "you would know" In front of a teacher and out entire friend group... We ended up dating for a week, but ended things after deciding that being friends was better than risking our friendship. Especially since we never got to see one another outside of school. Plus i was 17-18 and he was 15-16 so yeah, we are best friends now and wouldn't change it for the world.
ex gf was sleeping in front of a movie on the ps3 in the chamber. friend came over wanting to play some Cod Zombie. went to take the ps3 back. she wakes up and blows up, screaming ahe was using it and finally screamed Go ahead and pick up your trash i replied on the spot without even an ounce of hesitation "if i was to pick up trash its you id have in my arms right now". cue the friend biting his fist not to laufh, and my mum cacklin like a madwoman in front of her computer , and the ex gf storming out slamming every door on her way
I had an argument with my roommate. She said “fuck you” I was taken aback, and responded “fuck me? Fuck YOU” as soon as the words left my mouth she goes “thanks but I’ve had better offers”. I looked at her and said “wow that was quick. Do people tell say that to you a lot?”
One day me and this kid in my class got into a roast battle and he thought he did something by saying “well at least I have a life” and I didn’t know what to say so in a moment of the panic I just said “funny I don’t see it” (some how I won)
Phone passwords are usually 4 digits. Birthdays just don't fit. And don't you need your old password to change to a new password, which means Grandma would have given her password over?
I would've say badass but it kinda just slipped 😅 a girl yanked my hair (freshly dyed maroon red and no one liked the girl) and said i looked like her mom who also dyed her hair, it slipped and I said "i dont wanna look like your mom if she gave birth to a daughter like you."
One time in 6th grade, there was this para educator to help the autistic and “problem” children. Something to note, I am autistic.
One day, (this was science class) we were doing a test and I finished early, so I went onto a website called Khan Academy. The para ed came over to me and asked what I was doing. I explained what I was doing and she rolled her eyes. She said something (I can’t remember what). I looked her dead in the eyes and (with a straight face) said “I may be autistic but I’m not stupid.” My mom still tells that story
I sometimes feel like telling people "I may be autistic, but you are just plain stupid" 😁
I’ve got that app to😁😃
Omg I remember Khan academy
I forget about that app. But good for you! 😂
@@yamaguchi3440me too
Someone was trying to start a fight with me after a several day insomnia episode, making me not sleep whatsoever, and my brain came up with "just because you were in this world first does not mean you will be here last"
That's BADASS
Pfft. XD
Im barely coherent when I miss more than 2 days of sleep lol
How did you manage that
You could be a fight club character!!
@@austinfroemming6133 so sigma dude
My mom was hospitalized with a serious cardiac illness and the doctor came to see her while my dad was there. They were both in their 60s at the time. The doctor told her she didn’t have long, a few months at most. After the doctor left and they had talked a bit about it my dad said that he always figured he would die before her. She smiled and said “well, I guess you’d better hurry up!”
hope your mother rests in peace and i wish you and your family have a good life
I don’t mean to sound rude but, did he hurry up? Lol it’s just that your mother sounds so extra
yooo last one is crazy
Eh, it was pretty mid
I don't have many of these moments, mostly because I'm a slow person. But recently, I was talking to my coworkers and was telling a story about an old friend of mine. Which was interrupted by my coworkers jokingly saying, "Wait, you have friends?" Which took a second or two for my brain to process, so in the meantime, I asked, "What was that?" He just responded, "Nothing." By this time, my brain had fully processed his original comment. And that's when another coworker asked, "Did you really not hear what he said." And without missing a beat, I responded, "No, I heard him. I just gave him the chance to stand by his words. Turns out he's a coward."
you dropped this 👑
Fucking ice cold dude, well done
Good on you man, Hi five up top! 🙏
I was bullied throughout my childhood and up to my late teens in school and it was often physical. In beween 10th and 11th grade, I had a massive growth spurt going from 5'8 to just above 6'1 and by the end of 11th grade, i was the tallest kid in the school so people stopped getting physical with me.
This one kid who always bullied me though decided that just cus i was tall, it didn’t mean i could fight so he attacked me in the middle of class when the teacher was out but he didnt know that in the short period of a year when i wasnt being bullied, i took up wrestling. It was a short and quick encounter and i just swept him up off his feet and slammed him onto a desk and he made the mistake of doing this with his girlfriend watching since we were in the same class so with him and she was staring at me with shock and awe since the guy was strong and i just made quick work of him and i said "try me again and I'll sweep your girl off her feet and make her fall for me".
Felt like an arrogant prick after for saying that though so i apologised to his girl after in private
She probably fell for you when you apologized for objectifying her for the bit and I wouldn't be surprised if she thought you were badaxs afterward. Probably the talk of the girls group chat too.
@@sbetten01 wouldn't know. Years of bullying from girls and boys during that time made me think anyone who hit on me was doing it for a laugh, fun or out of a dare
@@sbetten01that last sentence is definitely a truth 😭
@@kneecap9927Hope you've got your confidence up since adulthood buddy. You seem like a good dude so I doubt people would lie about any interest they have in you.
My brother kept telling me when I was growing that I was adopted. It wasn't true of course but he used to said it consistently enough to the point where it being annoying. One day, when at a family get together, he was getting angry about losing at a broad game we were playing and just to try and make me feel bad for winning he said "at least I'm not adopted". I said very quickly "at least they wanted me". He got laughed at but everyone there and he never did it again.
Ex wife was giving me a hard time about picking up my son on my scheduled day. Her excuse was her friend told her that if he doesn't want to go, then he doesn't have to if he's over 13. I told her "Look, I'm aware that you're illiterate so you better get some friends that can read legal documents better because this shit is gonna cost you". It did. I got majority custody at the next court hearing.
Worked security, had a lady screaming at me as I watched her leave property. “ you’re only staring cause you know you can’t have anything that looks like this” gesturing to herself. “Ma’am I’m gay, I don’t want anything that looks like that”
😂🤣😂🤣nice
"The day I want somethin like that i'll head down to the zoo."
lol
BASEDDD
My mom said the iconic “I brought you into this world I can take you out of it.”and without missing a beat I said “yeah you do that but don’t come crying at my headstone after you serve 20 years of jail for murdering a minor.”
my eyes almost popped out of their place, holy shit that's badass
@@notbanjelacic thanks lol
You have a good mom. Mine would tell me not to come back home if I manage to get myself killed.
I can just see a bada$$ mother replying, "I'd get 20 years of peace and quiet? It'd be worth it!"
Wow… that’s pretty sick.
I was camping in Appalachia. I had set up a smokeless fire and was about to turn in for the night. I walked about 50m into the darkness to take a dump where there was softer ground to dig a hole. When I came back, there was a guy there, mid thirties perhaps, turning over my stuff and looking for things while gripping a hatchet in one hand. Being in the middle of nowhere, Appalachia is something you hear a lot of stories about. Indeed a lot of stories were tossed my way when my closest relations heard I was going. Scary tales that chilled my bones even miles away in the company of normal people by the light of day.
I'm normally a coward. At that moment, I knew that I had escaped being a decades-long missing person by pure fluke. Why else would a guy approach a fire with a tent set up and a hatchet in hand if he was just looking for stuff to steal? Adrenaline basically took me like a dandelion seed in a hurricane and I bellowed "TEN SECONDS BEFORE I STAB YOU TO DEATH!" and whipped around and bolted like nothing I've ever seen. I've never ever ever experienced that amount of adrenaline before. I was all kinds of things. Scared out of my mind, angry at being scared, furious that someone was trying to off me, feeling trapped, feeling like a vengeful god, all wrapped up in my head. I kept thinking "I'm the king here! This is my turf! Step close and I'll see you step nowhere else ever again". I fully became an unhinged psychopath for a good ten minutes there, strutting around my camp fire and basically screaming into the night. In fact, after I had finished the breadth of my vocabulary, I actually was just screaming at the top of my lungs. My voice was hoarse for days. I remember thinking, or possibly even shouting, "I hope you come back!" and then going on to obsess about trying to verbally flay that man's mind.
Was it badass? I'm not sure. But I did feel like I could have bitten a berserker in half for a good chunk of time there.
After I became myself again, I threw everything into my fold up kayak paddled out onto the lake, dropped a makeshift anchor and fell asleep with my eyes open. Another first!
Out of everything that’s never happened this most definitely didn’t
The mention of a berserker amused me, because that sounds like a berserker rage state! I don't suppose you have a Viking ancestor? ;)
I thought you were gonna throw your shit at them
@@Tylrrpalmrr I thought the same thing. Gross things will chase people off.
@@Bread._._69it didn't not happen, meaning it did happen. Nice.
After picking up my sister from school, she was telling me how a boy at her school was calling her trash and how it had upset her. Without missing a beat, I told her "next time he does that, tell him "you must be a raccoon then since you keep coming back to me" it made her laugh and i still don't know where the hell that came from
That's a great response haha
Was in elementary school math once. Bored outta my mind. Teacher kept telling me to pay attention. Finally I said “I’m three lessons ahead of YOU teacher. I’m bored.” FYI I’m mildly autistic and do fairly well in math. The exasperated look my poor teacher gave me was priceless. Worth it.
In elementary school, my friend and I kept complaining to the teacher about class being too easy. But it wasn’t badass. She gave us extra next-grade work due to that 🤣
@@existentialchaos8same happened to me too. Sadly this work was super easy too, so it was still kinda boring.
@@SmileyXY It was kind of easy, though tedious and there was a lot of it. Still better than doing the work in class though.
In eighth grade, my homeroom teacher gave us an example of how people were brainwashed into going along with the Holocaust. He called the loudest kids to the front of the classroom and said that they’d have to wear signs saying they’re not allowed to talk anymore because they’re too loud. They said that wasn’t fair, that they weren’t the only loud ones. He said, “Okay. Name the other people you think should wear the signs.” They started naming everyone in the class, including me. I didn’t argue, because I knew I could get loud at times. Then they called on the quietest girl in the class. Seriously, this girl couldn’t get above a murmur if her life depended on it. She was also the sweetest person I’d ever met. I had enough. I chewed them out, saying, “That’s enough! You guys can’t call everyone up here just because you don’t want to be alone in this. I’m not saying I never get loud, but she’s innocent! She never talks loud! Own up to your behavior!” Then I turned to the teacher and said, “And YOU can’t force us to wear signs saying that we’re not allowed to talk! If you have a problem with how loud we are, you have to find a better way to make us be quieter- one that doesn’t involve singling us out and isolating us from our peers as people to avoid and ridicule!” He looked directly at me and told me exactly how that kind of outburst would have been handled in the early stages of the Holocaust. He said that I would have suffered the brutal consequences of speaking out, but added that he was proud of me for doing it.
And then everyone clapped
100 for things that never ever happened
That kid in the class grew up to be Winston Churchill
top ten things that never happened
Y’all can say what you want about it, but it did happen. Just because you wouldn’t have had the guts to do that doesn’t mean we’re all a bunch of wimps.
I used to be bullied by this girl. Her dad had died in a car crash when she was like 2, and even though she never knew him, she was so emotional about him, and spent time out of lessons to walk with her freinds and cope with the "grief". My chicken had died, and she was going of at me about it. Finally, when she said " you could hug your chicken, but it's already buried". I turned round and said " yeah, well so's your dad". Coldest reply ever.
I applaud the stone cold reply but wonder if that didn't get you promoted from bullied by to ass kicked by. That is definitely an ass kicking worthy offense,
@@Snipergoat1it's warranted lol
@@Snipergoat1 I didn't get in trouble because she was basically asking for it. Plus I'd reported her multiple times and nothing had happened to stop it.
cold bro... cold
I barely remember my own birthday lmao relatable
Dude if I did that to my grandma my dad would beat me senseless
Just thinking the same thing dude
SAme here. I just don't find it important in any way or shape
I’ve chased a bear. For fun. I was on an ATV
the chaser becomes the chaser ed t
Dang! Kinda wish you had recorded it and posted it! That would've been awesome to watch!
@@maddiehackeson1935 yeah. Now I know what I need for my b-day. A go-pro
@@emmettkennedy8388 definitely
I’ve had a mountain lion tackle me off my dirtbike, bears get scared of the engines so we never really get to see them around here
I was in New Orleans with my friend, his mom, and sister. During the whole trip, his sister was bashing me for no reason, yet I was the one who helped more than she did. So, on the last day, my bud and I went to the bar Coyote Ugly for a last drink, but I was already drunk when we got back to the hotel, and we told his sister she said she would of danced on the bar like the movie. In my drunken state, my petty side showed up, and with a straight face, I said, "You know there is a weight limit" she was speechless and I didn't feel bad about it
Goddamn that's savage 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Well done!
"Would of" dude.
@@goyangi4143 who cares? You understood it didn't you?
@@RoxanneSwithin it's basic grammar. If you don't care, it's proof that the education system has failed.
After enduring a ride along with “my boss” in my beverage sales job I returned much earlier than expected to where her car was parked my boss asked, with a surprised look on her face, “are you done for the day “?
I replied “no but I’m done with you for the day”. Total silence.
Later I heard from our regional manager who was calling to say “thank you for the best laugh I’ve had in a long time”.
Mission accomplished.
My friend mentioned the types of pets that I have and the waitress said, “oh I don’t think we can be friends then”. Without missing a beat I turned to her and said, “I’m not asking you to be my friend now am I?”. The whole table laughed hysterically by my comment followed with some “OH!”
Was in a strength test between friends
When it was my turn, I said as I was lifting " this is nothing, I lifted my life and haven't dropped it yet"
Wow, that purple printed thing is trippy. I want 1. Lol
I didn't do at the moment i waited for whole year
It was in 7th grade my sanskrit teacher made fun of me infront of whole class by saying i don't have any talent & i am dumb & i am gonna fail
But i topped the class in 7th grade & i proudly walked at her & took my result from her & smirked on her face then she said i must be cheated & i replied
" from whom ? "
I love easy to get justice
I suffer from chronic pain and use strong medication which mess with memory so important things like my wifes birthday i have multiple reminders so i don't forget
Feel THAT, chronic pain and strong meds really does mess with your memory! I do the same, and will colour in the date on a calendar in my kitchen so it’s obnoxious and colourful so I can’t miss it!
The birthday one was in good fun atleast
The second one was vintage old lady badass.
I had a locked an loaded 9mm (?) pointed at my temple.
He was a friend of mine I'd met a few months earlier.
Had a lot of beers and pool shooting together over that time.
A very successful, clean cut man, very well dressed.
He also was an Army Ranger in Vietnam, and had serious PTSD. I had no idea about that part.
He had a "moment" at the bar where someone was trying to cheat him on the pool table. He was willing to unalive that guy. So he called me out to help calm him down.
I said let's go to your place. I got him home and was sitting in his living room watching TV when he pulled the gun on me.
He said "Are you scared?"
I answered "Not really"
He replied, "Why not".
I said "If you don't shoot me, I have nothing to worry about. If you do shoot me, I have nothing to worry about".
That statement figuratively, and literally disarmed him. He slunk to his knees and started crying.
I honestly believe that God or guardian angels put those words in my mouth.
That first one was the best revenge ever 💀
When I was in middle school there was this older, overweight, female bully on the school bus. We ended up arguing because she was being a verbal bully to everybody. She finally says "You think you're all that and a bag of potato chips" and I replied "You look like you ate qll that and a bag of potato chips" 😅😂
The whole bus lost it. She was never quite the same after that.
One time I was running for vice president of a club. It was the day we were gonna give our speeches. My friend who was also running asked me, “are you nervous?”
I replied, “you call it nerves. I call it excitement.”
I won that election.
Maybe not in the heat of the moment but in middle school I used to be bullied a lot from 5th to 8th grade, and had no contact with any girl (I'm an F), cue to one day when I walk into school, go to my class, and get stopped by the girl I hated the most, asking me "do I really have a boyfriend" (I changed my Facebook status from single to take night before) and I replied without missing a beat, "who said its a boyfriend" and passed her. I did not know what being gay was back then, so I accidentally came out in the coolest way possible (and surprisingly after that I was bullied less lol)
A guy said I was perfect in his eyes
My savage tired brain told him he needed glasses 😂😂
“Savage” that’s literally a standard response.
@@lordparoose48 Not everyone's failed so much they needed to learn that response was standard. Or maybe you need to spend less time online.
@@birbopikle6431 you’re so funny.
@@birbopikle6431 I’ve never once heard anyone accept that “you’re perfect in my eyes” it always is followed with “you need glasses” or “I’m not perfect.”
So standard.
@@lordparoose48 😂😂😂
Omg one time In grade 8 I called air ball and this guy airballed his shot so he slapped me, and ran I started to just walk towards him and he walked back. He said “what’s gonna happen if I stop retreating?” and I said “come find out”
Nice and smooth
“Me too dear, but not today.”
Wow, that’s what I want in
My life
I don’t love jaywalking, but my parents always do it. It made me uncomfortable as a kid because I needed to cross with them. I don’t judge those who do it, I just don’t like being involved. I feel unsafe. Anyway, one time we were discussing it after having jaywalked, and my mom said “There’s no cars in the road so it’s fine” and being annoyed I replied “Yeah, well, just because there’s no plane on the runway doesn’t mean you should walk across it” because that way obviously dangerous. My mom laughed.
When I was 18, I got busted for shoplifting condoms at a Meijer. I was in the loss prevention office getting patted down. Female loss prevention officer comes in, sees the condoms, and says to me "You know you can get these at a health center for free, right?"
I look her dead in the eyes and said "Yeah, but those ones don't glow in the dark."
I ended up getting a $250 fine.
During one of our school holidays my sister(13) & our much older cousin (f25) started moaning at me(m18) about us running out of milk like I was supposed to do something about it. In the heat of the moment I yelled at them & told them to go milk themselves
We all burst out laughing
Who tells some random ass lady that your dying dawg😭😭😭😭
One day when me my dad and my step mom were eating supper and me and my step mom were adding salt to something we were eating and he was going on about how bad salt is for you and I remarked back that sugar is worse (he has a sweet tooth) but he fully believed salt was worse so all three of us started debating about which was worse for you and suddenly I realized something and during mid debate I asked our Google Home Mini "hey Google which is worse for you sugar or salt" google responded back immediately that sugar is worse for you and that it found some studies that we could look at.
My dad and I were arguing (something about my mother) and he suddenly shouted "F-ck your mother!!" And I, not thinking, responded "You've already done that more than once!!" And we both just paused and stared at each other because no one knew what to say since that was so out of the blue yet so funny
I would laugh so hard😂🤣😂🤣
So I wanna say that this ACTUALLY happened. (Fair warning, this is a long story. If you don't want to read a long story, skip this)
When I was starting high school, first day, all the freshman had to go through the main office to file all our paperwork - like report medical issues and other things they needed on file - and it was absolutely INSANE. There were huge long lines as every office was being used for nurses to talk to students and teachers/aids/secretaries to go over the paperwork *with* the students.
I had just finished everything and was ready to leave when I hear this adult just screaming at a girl for something. I can’t remember what, but I remember it was something inconvenient but small, like she lost some paperwork he needed. He was going 100% apeshit. She finally broke down and ran out of the office hysterically crying. He came out the door still screaming at her to come back here! And when she didn’t he SNARLED for the next person to come in.
The next person was 100% petrified - like 'looking at his approaching death' petrified.
I asked if I could go in ahead of him, and the kid looked at me with pure relief and said sure.
I walked into the office and waited to be acknowledged, then told him that I didn't need his help with anything but I needed to tell him something.
Very, very politely, I asked what he thought he could accomplish by treating students like that? That teachers were there to help kids, and kids were supposed to feel safe to approach a teacher for help, whether that be for schoolwork or for safety reasons. I asked if he thought that girl would *ever* come to him for help. He had just terrified her so badly that she was put into full-blown histerics over a completely minor thing. That she had probably just been emotionally scarred and traumitized. I asked if *any* of the kids outside were likely to come to him, considering that he's been yelling loud enough to be heard through the closed door. THEY were all terrified of him too!
I acknowledged that this day was incredibly hectic, and as a teacher dealing with it he had to be feeling a lot of stress, and that was understandable, but as a teacher and potential role model he should find a better way of relieving that stress rather than focusing it onto one of the children he is legally and morally obligated to take care of.
Then I hoped that he would have a good day and left.
He looked completely flabbergasted.
Everyone outside of the office was absolutely goggling at me like I had just juggled with my feet while yodeling, and I felt very self-conscious so I went to the bathroom to see if I could find the girl who had run off crying, hoping she'd just gone to the bathroom. She didn’t and I never found her. (I hope she later heard about this and got some solace)
Anyway, after that it was a very calm day for me.
When I got home I found out that one of the school secretaries had called my mother after my talking to the teacher. At first my mom thought I'd somehow gotten into trouble on my first day and lamented, "But she's the *good* one!" (all my siblings are troublemakers, I'm not) and the secretary said, "Oh she wasn’t good, she was GREAT" and then proceeded to give my mom the full scoop of what had happened and what happened next. This is how I can relate the next bit:
Apparently, he had walked out after me and the following is a vague retelling of the following conversation:
Teacher: Who *was* that?
Secretary: Oh, that's ××××× ×××××
Teacher: She's not related to-
Secretary: Oh, she's their little sister.
(I am the youngest child in my family, and all my older siblings took pride in being school hellions. They were always in trouble)
Teacher: (visibly deflates)... oh. (Goes quietly back into the room and closes the door)
(Everyone outside, secretaries, students, and nurses all struggle to hold back their sniggering laughter)
So, remember my siblings are troublemakers and rulebuckers, but I'm not. I didn’t say anything that he could morally take offense to or blame him in any way. I was sympathetic and understanding, but I showed how his behavior was negatively affecting every student in the school. He couldn’t really refute anything.
He sat very quietly in the room for about 20 min before he called in the next kid *much* more calmly. Apparently he normally lost his patience during the intake day with the freshman and no one had actually called him out on it before. The kids were normally too intimidated and the other workers didn’t want to risk their jobs. So when the secretary called my mom, she was calling to tell her thank you! They'd been wanting someone to call him on his behavior for years!
And then, I found out WHY no one else had ever stood up to him.
That wasn’t a teacher. That was the PRINCIPAL.
I was sure I'd just made my high school life hell, but it went the other direction. That man avoided me like the plague for the next 4 years. If he saw me coming down a hallway, he would duck into a classroom until I'd passed or would straight up turn around and leave. The only time I heard him speak was at school-wide auditiorium announcements. Normally the Principal would be the one to handle any disciplinary matters with grades 11/12, and the vice-princpal did 9/10... nope, I had the vice-principal all 4 years.
Thankfully, it seems that I really DID make him reevaluate his attitude as he was MUCH better after that, both that year and all the years following.
As for me? I was amazed at how friendly everyone in the school was with me! Absolutely everyone seemed to know my name and gave me high fives and cheery greetings. I ended up with a really easy high school years as the girl who told off the principal and he couldn’t even punish me for it. (I won't say I was popular, but almost everyone was very laid back and nice to me. I never experienced cliques. I seemed exempt.)
He knew how to handle every brand of troublemaker crazy my siblings had been. Punish them for bad behavior, rule breaking, or disrespectful attitude. He had no idea how to handle me who did not do anything bad, followed the rules, and was scrupulously polite even while I "ripped him up one wall and down the other over his behavior" (litterally how the secretary described it. What I've written is the short abreviated version. In reality I talked to him for about 10 minutes over the ethics of his behavior and how concerned I was for how it would affect the students and my sympathy on how frazzled he must be feeling to have lost control like that).
He had no idea how to handle me, so his solution was to completely avoid me.
People always make jokes with my name, so in my 6th grade science class this girl who bullied me for a while asked me, "Hey Siri, call home" and without thinking I just said "Oh so you want me to call the orphanage?" I dont really remember much but people were laughing at what I said. My science teacher heard the whole thing, but didnt get mad at me, she just asked me if I was okay because she knew they were picking on me, I loved that teacher, but that girl making fun of me has since apologized (hence getting her suspended for a week due to other things she did to me) We don't talk but we also don't talk about eachother.
I sleep a lot, when I first started highschool I would come home, and sleep up until I had to go to school the next day. My dropout mother was upset with this so she says, “I don’t understand what the big deal is, highschool was so easy!” And I responded, “If it was so easy, why didn’t you finish it?”
And she asked, “what?” Which usually means it’s time to say you’re sorry, but *I said it again.*
*Legend*
What happened next
I don't say cool stuff in the heat of the moment I make jokes, I had a guy who was screaming and causing a ruckus and yelling at everyone because he ignored the store closing announcements and people telling him to hurry because we all wanted to go home and he said "the fuck are you looking at?!?" To me because I was just kinda angrily watching to make sure he knew if he hit someone he wouldn't get away with it and I said "well, you because you're being an ass" and then I opened the door for him to leave
Perhaps that's brave. But kinda has to be witty to be badass.
"Yeah, you're gonna send me to the hospital. One of *you* is going to the morgue."
1998 when I was about to get jumped.
Legendary comment
I used to work for a small engine repair shop and this guy brings in his expensive Comercial lawnmower that he had his crew working on. He was so pissed that the deck was all busted up and kept saying he paid so much money for this and it's already broken.
I asked if he had seen what happened, and he said no, the workers said they were mowing a lawn and boom.
He was not pleased when I said "they know lawnmowers are ment for grass not boulders right?" My boss had never laughed so hard and it was glorious.
Afghanistan, in the Korengal valley, we were pinned in pretty hard, and my autistic ass just yells out "Surrounded? No no boy, we are in a target rich environment and mother fucker I'm feeling wealthy."
We're all dying, it's a fact of life.
Somebody once tried to square up with me so I told him to "take too steps back or you'll be 5 foot shorter"
I was a little stoned one day and said to someone out of nowhere, "Look at you, you're 30 years old and everything you touch turns to shit." It was true, I had no control, it just came out like I'd rehearsed it.
Sadly I don't have any of these moments, but my 8th grade math teacher sure did. So basically my math teacher went around collecting people's homework, and my friend was looking for it in her backpack, and he went and asked her "where's your homework?" She responded with "hold on I'm looking. My papers are all over the place" and then that's when the teacher says "like how your grades are all over the place?". Whole class went wild.
My man didn't have to do her like that🤣😭
😂🤣😂🤣
this was on the 14th of October of this year. so a week ago. i was in pe and we were playing a game called benchball me and my best friend came in late from getting changed and were put on the same team. the teachers decided for our last pe lesson of the term, we were to play in our friend groups. we are an all girl pe class and all the mean popular kids are in there. we are known around the school and we popular until one of the other popular girls made a comments about my best friend , we will call her C. C was then hated by everyone and had always gotten into fights and arguments with them. i have never done anything to these people i dont speak look at or communicate in any way with them unless i have to. in the pe lesson, we were against C's worst enemy and they decided to throw the ball really hard at my face multiple times through the lesson. i was already going through a lot and they pushed me over the edge. at the half way point of the lesson when they chucked it again, the girl that threw it at me, i threw it back and i threw it hard. so hard i ended up giving her a bruise on her cheek. I have never been violent or mean to these girls and never resulted in violence because it scares me. i have trauma with being hit and abused by my parents and have lived with it since. you see these girls knew that bc we used to be friends until we moved to comp and i befriended chloe.
after i threw it back at the girl, i stormed out of lesson where the teacher who decided the friend group team came out and yelled at me for ignoring her. i told her to get lost and that she needs to learn to do her job right. she knew everything that went down with those girls and C and she still decided it was a good idea. Anyways, the girl sent me into a panic attack and once it finished i was angry once again. the pe teachers grouped everyone in the hall with 20 minutes left i think of the lesson and brought us in. my boyfriend at the front and C still by me holding my arm to comfort me. my bf asked if i was ok and hugged me and sat down. After the teachers decided again it was a good idea to group ppl together, they also though it was good to solve this in front of everyone. after repeating that they need to do their jobs right and deal with bullying better than what they are i hear one of the girls whisper but it was loud enough for everyone to hear bc the hall was big and had a giant echo, "no wonder your dad beat you constantly, i would too if i put up with her attitude like that". i snapped for the first time and with everyone in the hall i shouted (i was very shy and still am) "my dad beat me because he was a drunk an an abuser, you dont know sh** about what happened to me and my family and to reply to that comment of yours, you cant say anything because your parents literally got divorced because of your bratty behavior (this was actually true she purposefully tore them apart bc she hated how she didnt get her way wiht one of them and not the other.)" she burst out crying and i was told to stop. as i walked out i said "the next time you say something behind my back remember two things. One: be quieter so noone can hear your nonsense and Two: remember that you know you place. if you talk about me behind my back your in your rightful place, that is behind me. we both know im better than you academically and personality wise. so remember when you talk about me behind my back, youre reminding yourself of how stupid and ignorant you are, but also how you know that i dont care enough to know what you have ot say so you have to spread lies to your desperate friends.". i may have got a detention but god was it worth it. My boyfriend and C stayed by my side the entire time and calmed me down. i love them both and cant imagine a life without them
Someone's been disrespectful to me so instead of getting angry or disrespectful with them I just asked them right or left in a calm voice, and after they chose right I said oh that probably wasn't the best choice for you but I'll keep that in mind next time you're being disrespectful
i came home wasted from a night in canada and my dad's wife said, "you're drunk!"
i responded, "but in the morning i will be sober and you will still be ugly"
1 - my asian ass family would say "she is elderly, she doesn't have to remember, you have to remember"
At work I'm goofy to help others smile. One day I grabbed a bucket and put it on my head and acted like everything was normal. Stupid I know. A higher up I'd never seen before was there talking to my boss. She sneared at me and asked in an obvious disgusted tone, "please tell me she bought that first" as if I was dirty or something. I spun around with a smile and said "since your so top notch on cleanliness maybe the hospital should hire you, you could also help with erections lasting over 4 hours" and left. My boss laughed later but told me not to do it again.
coworker and i were getting heated as it was very busy. not sure why but he wanted to take it out on me. he said "you ever had your jaw broken?" without missing a beat i blurted out "no, nobodys been dumb enough to try, wanna be the first?" it got quiet and we continued on with the night after that
I was having problems with a guy at work and I said bro please leave me alone, if you keep it up I don’t know what’s gonna happen between us.
The guy: I’m not afraid of you.
Me: Deer aren’t afraid of cars.
2. My aunt was being really dramatic because her husband left her after she cheated on him. She has 3 kids and asked my granddad to borrow money, he’s rather a onry cuss so he refuses.
Aunt: What would YOU do if YOU had the weight of the WHOLE world on your shoulders?!!
Granddad: Plant my feet. (with a straight face)
My biological mother (haven’t spoken to her in over a decade) was screaming abuse at me and called me a wh0r3. I bit back with “I don’t sleep around, the only one who does that it you, except I can’t even call you a wh0r3 because you give it away for free to any man who glances in your direction. Now get the F out of my house”
She put up her hand to hit me and I just smiled at her
“Go on, do it, I dare you, see what happens, because the Police won’t get here quick enough to save you and I’m BEGGING for the excuse. Go on, DO IT”
Last time I saw or spoke to her, she wasn’t invited and got angry that I didn’t want to invite her into my home, so she started screaming in hopes to wear me down. I have PTSD and it’s never picked flight, it’s always fight, but I was restrained enough to control my actions and made it clear she couldn’t get away with violently attacking me or screaming at me any more. The peace I’ve had all these years has been nothing short of a blessing!
If someone wants to keep me out of something they just have to set it to my birthday i always forget it
I actually love to tell the story. So my friends and I were hanging out and I needed to go home because I had work in the morning. So I show them what time it was saying "hey it's like 10:00 and I still need to go home and get to bed." They didn't realize I'd been using the 24-hour clock system for a few years now which I did entirely on a whim. Asking why I did so and they argued that it makes no fucking sense. Anyway I was standing in the doorway at this point and an annoyance I said "well it sounds like y'all just can't count past 12." And shut the door. It's my proudest moment as of late.
Not really badass, more like unintentionally rude. Although I did make several people laugh. For context Dante is one of my friends, he knows I’m just joking whenever I’m mean to him, it’s just revenge for him dead naming me for an entire school year. We were in history class and Dante had said something causing the new student teacher to start paying attention to him, Dante started to freeze up and I took the opportunity to roast him, “I get it, you get overwhelmed when people actually are nice to you”. It didn’t help that another friend, Dill then stepped in, “yeah it doesn’t happen that often”. I apologized later after my friend Max told me how rude it was. 😅
That’s pretty funny
I had this awful coworker who was childish and annoying all the time. He was always between boring and irritating, always trying to boss me around even though I was way more experient (and competent) in that job than him. One day when we were returning we had a huge fight in the train and I spilled "I had 14 coworkers in the last 2 years, and didn't get along with only 2, including you. I have statistical evidence that I am not the problem".
He never tried to boss me around again and seemed quite depressed for the rest of our time as coworkers, but you know, fuck that guy
He probably like you
@@KiraCornell-ic8bh why do you think that?
So we not bout to scroll past that spark plug and wire 😭
The funniest shit I’ve said happens to also be the most redditor thing I’ve said but it worked and humiliated the guy. Guy was tryna act tough, we’re friends but not insanely close. Women around so he’s tryna act hard and said I looked like a bitch right to my face. Without skipping a beat I said “that’s the difference between you and me, I look like a bitch while you are a bitch” I doubt that line would ever work again😂
(No one cares, I’m gonna say it anyway) My dad once fucked something up and yelled at me for nothing (he just had a really shitty day, he’s a cool dude 99% of time honestly) and I got so pissed that I slammed my door and said that he’s not my father anymore, doesn’t sound too drastic at first but we’re like brothers normally, like best friends and I’m also his only child so when he heard that he was dead and I ofc didn’t mean it but I still regret saying it
Thankfully I was born on my grandmas birthday😂 when I turn 20 next year she’ll be 60
Me to the lady saying shes always dying: “we’ll get on with it then, you’ve been dying for ___ years/months now”
Me and my extended family were eating after my sister's softball game. My uncle was the coach, and they *lost* the tournament. I accidentally knocked over my drink and as everyone frantically went to clean it up, my uncle said, "Good job. Good job."
I looked him dead in the eyes and said, "Good job coaching."
The whole table went silent.
My friend was a know it all and would preach about psychology and understanding the self while boosting his ego cause he sounded insightful. He would go on about random concepts mid conversation fishing for someone who has yet to hear about it and would eventually be like “oh you don’t know about Occam’s razor” or some bs like like and proceed to give his lectures. I got fed up with it at one point and accidentally fell into one of his conversational traps. While he was acting all high and mighty about his knowledge I just blurted out “WELL IF I DONT KNOW THEN EDUCATE ME, DONT BELITTLE ME!” Infront of everyone in the room. Took everyone by surprise and one of my friends ended up saying “damn, that was the best response I ever heard”
I have sensitivity to light and sound, the place where I worked was very bright and very loud so it causes me constant migraines each and everyday, one day we had a break time and I decided to pick out a movie to watch on the tv and I picked out the Nightmare before Christmas, as soon as the movie started the entire vibe of the room changed as if they were watching something odd happening, I happily sang along to each song including the Oogie Boogie song and the coworker next to me looked at me and said " this song is you're weird, you're weird, this movie is weird " and I just looked at him with pure hate like you better apologize or else kind of look he backed up really quick, later on I laughed at something during the movie, now I have 3 laughs, a mocking laugh, a hyena ish laugh and a joker laugh, guess which laugh he heard? If you guessed joker you are correct, now when I Joker laugh I don't have full control of my voice its an uncontrolable laugh and the co worker who had mocked me earlier heard me laughing and went " she sounds like the Joker " and laughed at me with one of the bosses I wasn't gonna let that slide I went up to him and the boss and went " you should be ashamed of yourself making fun of someone " the boss looked at me and went " we aren't making fun of you" I called her a Gaslighter and abuser and left the room I don't feel bad at all they deserved it
Mine is definitely when I was really young and my mom was complaining and yelling about something again and I told her "I'm not your therapist, I'm your child, you need to go talk to a professional." She stood there for a minute in shock then just said "you're right" and walked away
Ok so if you’re not aware, the people over on tumblr have their own kind of inside jokes/pseudoculture, and I once saw a post talking about it and how apparently people outside of tumblr think certain things are hilarious or insane or whatever when it’s just commonplace to us. One of the examples given was someone and their mom having a disagreement during a family car ride. The mom says “well I beg to differ.” and without missing a beat the person says “then beg.” which is one of the tumblr inside jokes, and the entire rest of the car ride was completely silent.
Wtf was that spark plug shit ☠️
To be fair… you’ve only got two (maybe one) grandmas. She might have 20-40 grandkids.
There was a bit of a fued going on between a couple of old school friends who were approaching their 20s. One of them posted a selfie to Facebook and the other left a comment on it reading "slut" ...
Sick of the bitchiness, I hit back with "says the woman with 2 kids from different fathers with a third on the way before the age of 21..."
A few weeks later I was out clubbing and bumped into some people that saw the message, and they exclaimed that they never expected her to be called out like that. I just shrugged "her perspective needed readjusting."
Not super badass but, for context, I’m a girl in construction and when I’m bored with nothing to do for a bit I’ll just kinda start doing pushups or otherwise little workouts, idk why necessarily I do this but it keeps my blood flowing and ready for when they do need me- anyway, one of my ex coworkers(he was eventually fired for being a lazy 💩) would nag at me and poke fun at me doing that and how it wouldn’t matter if I worked out because the guys are stronger, blah blah. So one day he had been annoying everyone and people just kinda went on(it was a long day) but eventually I saw him struggling to carry something and I come in to take it from him so he wouldn’t break it - it was heavy but he shouldn’t have been struggling 😂 so when I set it down I turned to him and said “seems like you might want to consider doing some fucking pushups yourself, Jacob” as I rolled my eyes and walked past him.
My grandmother is Chinese and uses a traditional calendar system so it's literally different every year on the gregorian one.
I need the file for the 3D printed thing
In high school, some girls were talking about hand lotion, and our male teacher asked me if i used lotions being a type 1 diabetic. Not missing a beat i said, not for my hands, its just easier putting in one first.
I remember one time about 3 years ago me and my friends were talking in the lunch line to get food and it somehow turned into one of my friends saying I was gay and without thinking I said "im more strighter then the pole your mom dances on" I've never heard that phrase before but I was confused about what I had said before being proud of myself, my friend dabed me up
To be fair to grandma, their grandchild has a young mind and anywhere from 1-4 grandmothers. Where as the grandmother is old and could have a dozen grandchildren.
Mine was: I can count your brain cells on one hand
first guy: it's my birthday* mic drop *
this one happened a couple weeks ago actually and i feel bad for saying it now. i was angry and driving a little faster than allowed and she pulled up next to me at the lights and said “it’s not cool to drive like that” i snapped back instantly and said “it’s not cool to wear glasses either”.
The first one wouldnt work for me because my grandma and I shared the same birthday
The first one is hilarious.
One day I was walking back with the groceries from the store about a 10 minutes walk from my house and right in front of my house 3 teenagers on bikes were mocking a kid who was helping his dad fix his car.
The kid said "If you're really tough you'd get off the bike". The one in front got off his bike and they got into position, ready to fight. I dropped my groceries thinking "this is gonna be sick" and said "Anyone jump in and they're dead"
Bruh💀💀💀💀
The first one is so real tbh, like it was probably just a funny situation but how that couldve gone bad so quick with other people 😅😂
As an electrician that first video is probably the worst thing I’ve ever seen, that’s the shit nightmares are made off.
Nahh I gotta see what a wire on a spark plug does 😂😂
Bro is NOT tough. 😭🙏
My bully said something about me needing to wash my hair(I did that morning) and I asked her "since when do you care?". Girlie's dumbass reply was "I'm a changed woman". Without missing a beat, I said "Oh? Did you f*ck yourself one to many times?". I was so stunned by my own answer my hand flew to my mouth while my friend burst out laughing.
One time I went to school and had tried out a new make up look with some fun eyeshadow. I’m in the last class of the day and this kid next to me turns and says something along the lines of “does your dad hit you or something?” Without missing a beat, I turn to him and say “no my dads dead.”
I had a friends with benefits thing going on in high school with my now best friend (we rarely talk but check up on one another once or twice every few months and catch up on life and then go back to living life) but i had bleached my hair to dye it the colors i wanted but it didn't do much, just lightened it a tiny bit. He said "does the carpet match the drapes" and i being witty and really dumb said "you would know" In front of a teacher and out entire friend group... We ended up dating for a week, but ended things after deciding that being friends was better than risking our friendship. Especially since we never got to see one another outside of school. Plus i was 17-18 and he was 15-16 so yeah, we are best friends now and wouldn't change it for the world.
ex gf was sleeping in front of a movie on the ps3 in the chamber. friend came over wanting to play some Cod Zombie. went to take the ps3 back. she wakes up and blows up, screaming ahe was using it and finally screamed Go ahead and pick up your trash
i replied on the spot without even an ounce of hesitation "if i was to pick up trash its you id have in my arms right now". cue the friend biting his fist not to laufh, and my mum cacklin like a madwoman in front of her computer , and the ex gf storming out slamming every door on her way
I had an argument with my roommate. She said “fuck you” I was taken aback, and responded “fuck me? Fuck YOU” as soon as the words left my mouth she goes “thanks but I’ve had better offers”. I looked at her and said “wow that was quick. Do people tell say that to you a lot?”
Why did bro need a password for a picture
One day me and this kid in my class got into a roast battle and he thought he did something by saying “well at least I have a life” and I didn’t know what to say so in a moment of the panic I just said “funny I don’t see it” (some how I won)
Phone passwords are usually 4 digits. Birthdays just don't fit. And don't you need your old password to change to a new password, which means Grandma would have given her password over?
Not true if you try to change your password if gives you changing options
@@KiraCornell-ic8bh And don't you need to put your old password to change to a new password, which means Grandma would have known?
@@KiraCornell-ic8bh @KiraCornell-ic8bh And don't you need to put your old password to change to a new password, which means Grandma would have known
I would've say badass but it kinda just slipped 😅
a girl yanked my hair (freshly dyed maroon red and no one liked the girl) and said i looked like her mom who also dyed her hair, it slipped and I said "i dont wanna look like your mom if she gave birth to a daughter like you."