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@@JonathonAslay Yes, we met at a convention , lived 70 miles apart , but soon after he got job transfer to another state … we flew to visit every 2-3 weeks 4 day weekends … faced other problems . I guess I want to keep an open mind but I hear you, it’s challenging.
I was young and married a man from England. I’m from USA. We both lived in our respective countries for years . Stayed together almost 30 years. But I made a huge sacrifice by settling in UK for most of the time. It can work, as it did for us for many years. But it ain’t easy
Great insights, Deb! It's wonderful to see the openness and excitement in your journey. As a fellow dating coach, I appreciate the emphasis on maintaining personal power and being mindful of red flags. International relationships can be enriching but require careful navigation. Remember, healthy relationships thrive on communication, shared values, and individual sovereignty.
9:12 I agree. Fast and slow is an illusion. Before I got married, I was in a platonic relationship and the man said I was going too fast because I left everything and took a plane to cook for him while he was sick. He was the one who was going too fast. After my "nurse" mode at his place, he offered me a cold negotiation to "be with him." He never even said he had intentions to be in a real relationship. That cousin of mine is not easy. Such lack of drive.
Congrats Deb 🎊, sounds like you guys are doing great , he’s proactive, met your family n son and you guys have a good, realistic plan. That long visit will definitely help you define things … 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
As usual I have something to say about this kind of topic. Really, this lady needs to slow down and think. Rushing things and future dreaming isn't the way to go. I have written a manuscript , hoping for it to be a book this year, about my own whirlwind romance that caused me so much trouble that I had never believed could happen to me. You don't know people at this speed. Please do read the book by Sandra Brown, 8 Types of Dangerous Men. I think a lot more women need to open their eyes to what danger means and I'm not always referring to serial killers My own manuscript outlines this too. First step of safety ...he comes to your territory and don't rush anything. You're going off now to stay with a near stranger.....In a nutshell my own whirlwind romance caused so much chaos in my life for 5 years in total ....a dream frankly became a nightmare. If I had truly known the guy I would not have married him
@@sherriflemming3218 ...I want to emphasize that danger does not always been a pyscopatb....he could be the needy man, the child man, the unavailable man, the mentally ill man....I married the latter....did not know that due to a whirlwind romance
@@andreawannop8670 I understand. There are mixed breeds. A combination of the types in the Dangerous Man Book. Did you read Women Who Love Psychopaths?
@@celiaescalante ...I did not say a book is choosing for you. You are not reading my words. I said many women are absolutely unaware of the concept of entering a dangerous relationship. I'd say .. hooking up with a near stranger that you met online , rushing to meet him at his home in another country and talking about marriage (he is a near stranger) shows extreme nativity.....why do I know.? Coz I did it myself. Decent people trust others. Many people are needy .... combination of naivety, wishful thinking, trust that is not yet earned, whirlwind dating, overseas bf that you are rushing to make into something ....= High potential for not just trouble but danger. ,
I enjoy learning from your videos, and I’m grateful I’m not “looking”. Unless I trip over a sexy Spaniard while I’m here, that is. 😂. I would relocate for that, but I’m emigrating back here anyway.
Well, since long-distance seems to be the constant theme here, I'll toss my hat in the ring. I'm not going to tie the universe's hands and judge or turn away my blessing simply because of his zip code. For all I know, he could be my next door neighbor in my apartment complex or he could be on a military base in Seoul, South Korea. I really don't know where he'll come from or where he is right now. That's okay! When the time is right, he and I will be able to connect with each other and work together to merge our lives together over the natural course of time. The universe has shown me that it's powerful and wise enough to carefully vet out this guy from the billions out there, and all I need to do right now is keep on living my best life and being my best self without having to burden myself with looking.
Jonathon why can’t men put toilet seat down? That drives me nuts. My male friend does that and my date did at his place so I couldn’t say anything - wore duct tape that time. Lol
This is so crazy to me because every man I’ve ever lived with has always closed the lid BEFORE flushing. Please don’t let all that bacteria just float through the air.
Unfortunately yes it’s doomed! Did that for 10years. Unless one of you plans on moving and has a lot of money saved up it’s doomed. Try and find someone closer that you can spend more time with face to face because what you’re feeling might just be infatuation. Keep him as a friend that’s what I did.
Maybe agree to marriage after the test runs in the other country and after the love bombing stops and after honeymoon stage during the power struggle stage
10:14 Resonates. When I was involved with my cousin in 2022, one of your replies Jonathon to one of my first comments was, "why are you giving your power away?" I guess when you are not used to separating your wishes with that of a parent or romantic relationship, you don't really build the boundaries to keep from giving to the point of debt with yourself and even taking without waiting to trigger a negative emotion in someone. Just a few hours ago, I bought a book called, "Don't give your power away," by a local author who lives in Clearwater, Florida. Unfortunately, I really don't know if it's going to say anything about relationship power debts. For me, the concept of sovereignty is complex, alien and it feels like changing my 40+ years of understanding life. It's a bit scary, too. What if being sovereign robs me of some satisfaction or fulfillment? I guess being submissive must have been what I had in past relationship. Maybe that's not it either. Which books mention this concept of sovereignty? Men aren't our parents, so it's probably better to be sovereign than obey someone that's going to take care of numero uno.
14:11 Men aren't mom and dad. They are going to watch out for themselves first and foremost. So, even if we want to be "nurse, purse" and submissive to our macho men, it's in the relationship's best interest to stay in our sovereignty. So, let's practice real-life scenerios of how to make boundaries. Any suggestions on these slippery eggs???
This Jonathon Aslay youtube feature of a woman who is in love with a man from another country (that I unexpectedly saw in my youtube recommended feed today) can work if she does eventually join him in South Carolina (where he resides) and is willing to do what it takes to permanently stay there with him through both challenges and good times. I know I am sounding obvious however it is becoming common knowledge that both people in a partnership have to share similar values career and money wise to make it last as a team (when it comes to doing what it takes to pay for the necessites of life together-rent, food, healthcare, etc. if they are deciding to have children, how do both people feel about looking after either one of the person's parents if need be even if they are on the same page regarding beliefs around family andor friends etc).
Hi Deb. You’re a cute lady and I wish you the best. My go to response is…take it slow!!! I would NOT live with him!! It’s hard on you !! Let yourself adjust in the new environment and date him if it feels Good…get a circle of support through church or activities . If he is still a keeper after a year …then…..
I disagree, I think she’s doing it right and taking appropriate time and steps to get to know him and not waste years of her life. Adjusting to a new environment can be exciting as well , some people just don’t try . ‘ You find your places for nail, hair, shopping etc . Your fav parks for walks etc , hobbies, church and find new coffee shops, theaters, restaurants, movies , road trips with your honey to explore the area .
@@Bb-k4gd yes I say whatever is true for her is true. But this is a relationship between two people in two different countries and living with someone you haven’t vetted can be an issue. I’m also a woman of Christian values. Not perfect by any means. But there are so many dysfunctional folks out there and she’s a lovely lady and I want her to feel secure, happy, protected and safe…time is a great thing not to rush!!
@@Tbn48ibp She’s vetted him and keeps doing it , that’s why they want to do it for 2 months now … her family is in USA where he is at and they liked him … They FaceTime 2-3 hrs daily , he has read the books she recommends, stayed 10 days with her and everything went great ,… it’s normal to take the next step and spend 2 months together and see How it goes .. Why dragged it out? … I’m sure she feels happy, secure, protected and loved or she wouldn’t do it. She sounds excited!! Anyways just what I see 😁😁
@@Bb-k4gd ahhhh I love that her family approves. That’s a big deal. My family all Italian Catholics and it’s difficult to please them. lol lol. Anyway much love to you and thanks for sharing with me!!
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Great format!
Jonathon, these advice segments in your show where women share their love stories and trials are my favorite part.
“Because what’s the point in being together if ya can’t f on a regular basis.” I’m cracking up. Love it.
I honestly don’t care about distance if it’s the right person … it’s hard enough to find the right person to put distance limits.
Have you dated long distance?
@@JonathonAslay Yes, we met at a convention , lived 70 miles apart , but soon after he got job transfer to another state … we flew to visit every 2-3 weeks 4 day weekends … faced other problems . I guess I want to keep an open mind but I hear you, it’s challenging.
I was young and married a man from England. I’m from USA. We both lived in our respective countries for years . Stayed together almost 30 years. But I made a huge sacrifice by settling in UK for most of the time. It can work, as it did for us for many years. But it ain’t easy
Hello Jonathan !!! It was too short! So many questions to ask ! 😊...there's a lot of people living this kind of experiences!
All the best to Deb. When u come to US, have a Plan B, stay with friends & relatives first & then your guy.
Looking forward to the update as I'm in a LDR ...not easy.
Great insights, Deb! It's wonderful to see the openness and excitement in your journey. As a fellow dating coach, I appreciate the emphasis on maintaining personal power and being mindful of red flags. International relationships can be enriching but require careful navigation. Remember, healthy relationships thrive on communication, shared values, and individual sovereignty.
9:12 I agree. Fast and slow is an illusion.
Before I got married, I was in a platonic relationship and the man said I was going too fast because I left everything and took a plane to cook for him while he was sick.
He was the one who was going too fast. After my "nurse" mode at his place, he offered me a cold negotiation to "be with him." He never even said he had intentions to be in a real relationship.
That cousin of mine is not easy. Such lack of drive.
What J. says about the need to see a person in a myriad of situations is so true. That’s why house dates aren’t that useful from a dating perspective.
Indeed...
Deb, when you move to Greensboro North Carolina
And shit get crazy reach out to me, I’m in Greensboro
That prayer. Jonathan. I’m laughing so
Hard !! Omg
Why?
Because you said the f ing all day Priceless
Congrats Deb 🎊, sounds like you guys are doing great , he’s proactive, met your family n son and you guys have a good, realistic plan. That long visit will definitely help you define things … 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
As usual I have something to say about this kind of topic. Really, this lady needs to slow down and think. Rushing things and future dreaming isn't the way to go. I have written a manuscript , hoping for it to be a book this year, about my own whirlwind romance that caused me so much trouble that I had never believed could happen to me. You don't know people at this speed. Please do read the book by Sandra Brown, 8 Types of Dangerous Men. I think a lot more women need to open their eyes to what danger means and I'm not always referring to serial killers My own manuscript outlines this too. First step of safety ...he comes to your territory and don't rush anything. You're going off now to stay with a near stranger.....In a nutshell my own whirlwind romance caused so much chaos in my life for 5 years in total ....a dream frankly became a nightmare. If I had truly known the guy I would not have married him
It's a great book. Read it years ago.
How To Spot A Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved. Women Who Love Psychopaths is great as well.
@@sherriflemming3218 ...I want to emphasize that danger does not always been a pyscopatb....he could be the needy man, the child man, the unavailable man, the mentally ill man....I married the latter....did not know that due to a whirlwind romance
@@andreawannop8670 I understand. There are mixed breeds. A combination of the types in the Dangerous Man Book.
Did you read Women Who Love Psychopaths?
I disagree. Everyone has their own path to take. A book can give you plausible insight, but it can't choose anyone for you.
@@celiaescalante ...I did not say a book is choosing for you. You are not reading my words. I said many women are absolutely unaware of the concept of entering a dangerous relationship. I'd say .. hooking up with a near stranger that you met online , rushing to meet him at his home in another country and talking about marriage (he is a near stranger) shows extreme nativity.....why do I know.? Coz I did it myself. Decent people trust others. Many people are needy .... combination of naivety, wishful thinking, trust that is not yet earned, whirlwind dating, overseas bf that you are rushing to make into something ....= High potential for not just trouble but danger. ,
I enjoy learning from your videos, and I’m grateful I’m not “looking”. Unless I trip over a sexy Spaniard while I’m here, that is. 😂. I would relocate for that, but I’m emigrating back here anyway.
your channel is growing Jonathan!! yayyyy!!
Well, since long-distance seems to be the constant theme here, I'll toss my hat in the ring.
I'm not going to tie the universe's hands and judge or turn away my blessing simply because of his zip code. For all I know, he could be my next door neighbor in my apartment complex or he could be on a military base in Seoul, South Korea. I really don't know where he'll come from or where he is right now. That's okay! When the time is right, he and I will be able to connect with each other and work together to merge our lives together over the natural course of time.
The universe has shown me that it's powerful and wise enough to carefully vet out this guy from the billions out there, and all I need to do right now is keep on living my best life and being my best self without having to burden myself with looking.
Lol….. I love the prayer….f’k all the time….😂😂😂
Jonathon why can’t men put toilet seat down? That drives me nuts. My male friend does that and my date did at his place so I couldn’t say anything - wore duct tape that time. Lol
Why can't women put it up? Lol 😁
Lol I thought you’d say that.@@JonathonAslay
This is so crazy to me because every man I’ve ever lived with has always closed the lid BEFORE flushing. Please don’t let all that bacteria just float through the air.
Why can't, we, women leave the toilet seat up???
We women don’t leave the seat up because ‘it goes down’ … or why install it in the first place ?? This is a ‘Toilet’ not a ‘Urinal’.
Unfortunately yes it’s doomed! Did that for 10years. Unless one of you plans on moving and has a lot of money saved up it’s doomed. Try and find someone closer that you can spend more time with face to face because what you’re feeling might just be infatuation. Keep him as a friend that’s what I did.
There are always exceptions...
Maybe agree to marriage after the test runs in the other country and after the love bombing stops and after honeymoon stage during the power struggle stage
10:14 Resonates. When I was involved with my cousin in 2022, one of your replies Jonathon to one of my first comments was, "why are you giving your power away?"
I guess when you are not used to separating your wishes with that of a parent or romantic relationship, you don't really build the boundaries to keep from giving to the point of debt with yourself and even taking without waiting to trigger a negative emotion in someone.
Just a few hours ago, I bought a book called, "Don't give your power away," by a local author who lives in Clearwater, Florida.
Unfortunately, I really don't know if it's going to say anything about relationship power debts.
For me, the concept of sovereignty is complex, alien and it feels like changing my 40+ years of understanding life.
It's a bit scary, too. What if being sovereign robs me of some satisfaction or fulfillment? I guess being submissive must have been what I had in past relationship. Maybe that's not it either.
Which books mention this concept of sovereignty?
Men aren't our parents, so it's probably better to be sovereign than obey someone that's going to take care of numero uno.
Nice shirt Jonathon! I like that color.
Thanks... 😀
14:11 Men aren't mom and dad. They are going to watch out for themselves first and foremost.
So, even if we want to be "nurse, purse" and submissive to our macho men, it's in the relationship's best interest to stay in our sovereignty.
So, let's practice real-life scenerios of how to make boundaries.
Any suggestions on these slippery eggs???
Indeed
3:46 Come on, Jonathon. I answered your questions with minimal digressing. I admit it. It is tough to be succinct. 🙏
This Jonathon Aslay youtube feature of a woman who is in love with a man from another country (that I unexpectedly saw in my youtube recommended feed today) can work if she does eventually join him in South Carolina (where he resides) and is willing to do what it takes to permanently stay there with him through both challenges and good times. I know I am sounding obvious however it is becoming common knowledge that both people in a partnership have to share similar values career and money wise to make it last as a team (when it comes to doing what it takes to pay for the necessites of life together-rent, food, healthcare, etc. if they are deciding to have children, how do both people feel about looking after either one of the person's parents if need be even if they are on the same page regarding beliefs around family andor friends etc).
We need an update on this case lol
Yes please 😂
I agree 👍🏼
Friendly sounds good 😅
Oh this is a re-run
Clip from a video last month...
You look adorable in purple🎉🎉🎉🎉
Too fast!
Too fast with the intimacy as he was only there with her for 10 days face to face.
She's not a teenager, she's old enough to know what she's doing and getting into.
You are so rude....Jesus, let her talk!
Yeah, this is really confusing.
How so?
I thought this was one of your live broadcast, but it was a rerun
Hi Deb. You’re a cute lady and I wish you the best. My go to response is…take it slow!!! I would NOT live with him!! It’s hard on you !! Let yourself adjust in the new environment and date him if it feels
Good…get a circle of support through church or activities . If he is still a keeper after a year …then…..
Indeed
I disagree, I think she’s doing it right and taking appropriate time and steps to get to know him and not waste years of her life. Adjusting to a new environment can be exciting as well , some people just don’t try . ‘ You find your places for nail, hair, shopping etc . Your fav parks for walks etc , hobbies, church and find new coffee shops, theaters, restaurants, movies , road trips with your honey to explore the area .
@@Bb-k4gd yes I say whatever is true for her is true. But this is a relationship between two people in two different countries and living with someone you haven’t vetted can be an issue. I’m also a woman of Christian values. Not perfect by any means. But there are so many dysfunctional folks out there and she’s a lovely lady and I want her to feel secure, happy, protected and safe…time is a great thing not to rush!!
@@Tbn48ibp She’s vetted him and keeps doing it , that’s why they want to do it for 2 months now … her family is in USA where he is at and they liked him … They FaceTime 2-3 hrs daily , he has read the books she recommends, stayed 10 days with her and everything went great ,… it’s normal to take the next step and spend 2 months together and see How it goes .. Why dragged it out? … I’m sure she feels happy, secure, protected and loved or she wouldn’t do it. She sounds excited!! Anyways just what I see 😁😁
@@Bb-k4gd ahhhh I love that her family approves. That’s a big deal. My family all Italian Catholics and it’s difficult to please them. lol lol. Anyway much love to you and thanks for sharing with me!!