I am a survivor of historical abuse while in care as a child it taken me 16 years to tell someone I told the police and in July 2005 my perpetrator was sentenced to 8 years in prison and he collapsed in the dock and I felt everything being returned ie my dignity and my pride my self respect and my innocence my heart goes out to all who do not get justice stay strong
wow you were lucky, when i tried to ask a law company about my rights, telling them i was sexually abused, they ridiculed and humiliated me, then sent the police after me to disarm me. And i only told em about 1 event of abuse i suffered, not about how i was trafficked as a child. The police preventively harrassed and intimidated me, and now i cant sue the mob who did this to me. So nothing will return to me, i have no dignity, i just feel like a discarded prostitute. Your lucky. Even though i have a good therapist, i cant restore my self respect and since the police harrassed me, i just feel like all my life is a joke. Cant date anymore since that re-traumatization via police happened. I dont feel like i have any rights or any worth in society, nor do i wanna contribute ANYTHING anymore to society. Nothing. I have about 3 people i care. Im an empathic person, but i cant live in society anymore. I hate my country. As a person who as private detective earlier worked closely with the police, even shooting with them at the range, i can only say 1 simple sentence: Fuck the police!
Well done Dale. I finally confronted my father at age 54. Abused from age 6. It's a really hard journey but we deserve to be let out of these emotional prisons they create.
You are definitely not alone Nathanael, I specialize in working with Men who experience sexual abuse, and so many men are starting to come forward and heal. Take care!
Many males who are sex abuse survivors fall into substance abuse to numb the pain, forget the abuse. I hope men can feel free to seek help and talk about their abuse experience.
What kind of idiots would make a thumbs down on this painful, vulnerable, and essential interview?! Sad how out of touch with compassion some people are.
Thank you for this. I have been trying to speak on this myself. Trapped emotionally and mentally. I knew it for 30+ years. So sorry Dale for what you went through.
This issue needs to be brought forward much, much more. It's a real abuse situation, it destroys the victims and affects them (quite possibly) for their lifetime. Many thanks for sharing this.
This shit Hecks the brain to the edge we unable to function properly in the society and we've to hide the pain not even could cry cause we're men's and societal stigma attached to them
Thank you Dale for sharing your past, and the journey to where you are right now. I have just started the journey to recovery after 10/12 years of denial and living in fear. Honestly man, listening to you have given me hope, and encouragement to continue the journey. I wish to be in a place where i can love myself and the people i care about without the seed of doubt, and mistrust that i have now
I was abused by my older brother from about 2 years old until I was nearly 12. Then, every year when we would go on vacation, my parents would make it a point to visit my brother's house for up to a week of our vacation. This went on until I stood up to my dad when I was about 15. He beat me up, but I didn't have to go on family vacations anymore. Instead they had him come home fof the holidays several years before I moved away... They knew what had been happening because my best friend/neighbor told his parents that what my brother had been doing to the both of us. My brother was 18 when the police intervened, but my parents paid $20,000 to a lawyer to make it go away. The excuse was that his name is the same as my dad's. As soon as my brother moved out, my parents moved me into my brother's bedroom where a huge portion of the abuse took place. My parents still live in the same house and the family of the neighbor kid finally moved about 4-5 years ago. I am now 41 years old and have been facing this battle with therapy for about 5 years now. I am now entering a portion of therapy that is extremely difficult, but I know that it will be the most helpful. It is called prolonged exposure therapy. I just want to finally slay this giant and actually become who I am supposed to be and not all of the things that it has made me.
I feel you there took me thirty years to realize this. I feel like a failure how can I protect women. I act so scared, but I need to change. I need to get out this zone n feeling n live my life. This put me on drugs n everything. As lil boys if we don't get support how can we become men
I survived sexual abuse from my father from my childhood and into my adult life. I dont know if justice is what i need, i just want to be normal. I want to love myself. I want to not be judged from my family. But i cant feel good about turning him in.
I am here trying to find videos that will help me understand how being abused by men causes bisexuality or homosexuality... how does being abused make kids think that they are gay?
Even though it was abuse, it still creates a body response that is unknown by a child which confuses boundaries and confuses focus on what human, female or male is the one that causes attraction. In others words, it was your first sexual experience even though it was unwanted - it left an impression. I've known females who become adults and are repulsed by males because they were raped by an adult male as a child and then become gay because it is the only way for them to connect safely with another human. I know it is different for males because they are more programmed for sex in a more dominant way but I still think similar 🤔
@@RWB20 Confused boundaries makes sense to me, when you say it was the first experience unwanted and with the same sex. I struggled with that question of perhaps being gay or bi. Went down a rabbit hole of exploring those communities and had come to the conclusion that although it felt familiar it was not fulfilling to my true nature and attraction for women was natural. It also opened up a world of deeper and darker things going on that I was not prepared for both morally or legally for that matter. The entire sexual arena is so twisted in these current times that I realized that my story is almost mild and normal compared to what goes on in todays world. I can identify with Dale's experience in many ways and this was the way it was for many cases back in those days, never wanting to admit or let anyone know in fear of being casted out and in todays society it's not unheard of to Identify as Kangaroo that likes other Kangaroo's. Wild how times change just in a 3 decade timeline.
Little late to the party on this one, but in my case I struggled with this question for many years. I always knew I had a natural attraction for girls and I even had a girlfriend through part of my abuse years. But many years later I found this question still haunting me, it got to the point where I was asking the Lord the Big question "Why" Why would God let this type of thing happen to such innocence of his children. First mistake was to question Gods purpose.. 2nd was making the decision to explore the Gay and Bi community. Although I had felt a sense of familiarity by being able to be close with other guys and it was consensual which made it feel more comfortable but not complete. And I still couldn't deny my natural attraction for women, so it eventually exposed me to some very dark places that brought me to the conclusion that I was not Gay and that was not Gods purpose for why I went through the tragic abuse. Perhaps Bisexual was a more accurate description of my sexuality but deep down inside I always knew and know that my heart lies with a Female mate. So my best advice if you are still on the struggle bus with this, would be to follow your heart and not your Gentelia. And that should hopefully one day lead you to your soul mate.
Hope he heals and gets over this nightmare. I can't help but wonder if his mom knew or might have had a feeling something was wrong. That would be another thing he would have to come to terms with. I feel studies need to be done on boys abused by older teen girls , because this form is totally swept under the rug. At times its considered that the boy is "lucky" as in he's getting "experiance ".
I confronted my mother when I was +-28 .... she was devastated. I 100% believe that my mother; perhaps naively as like most of the adults around me; did not know. The "monster" had us living in a "prison" - we both (my mother and I) both felt the prison bars coming off the windows when he left in 1987. It was a gr8 time but there was so much pain, tears and tribulation to come as I spent most of my young adulthood healing.
Supporting you and all boys and men who have been abused sexually, spiritually, physically and emotionally. Blessings on your healing journey. You have a voice...help is available...Dr.. Kelli Palfy Author of Men Too: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse.
Because this is a public forum, I've had to edit and re-edit my response here, so I'm stuck with this bland little comment ... If you don't know what you're talking about, sit down & keep quiet! You're just making yourself look stupid and proving your utter ignorance!
FOR YEAR'S I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY I COULDN'T TALK TO GIRLS IN SCHOOL, WHEN THEY WOULD MAKE ANY KINDA FORWARDNESS TO ME.... IT TOOK OVER 40 YEAR'S TO REALIZE... WHY...I WAS FORCED TO GIVE ORAL SEX TO MY OLDER FEMALE COUSIN ...WHEN I WAS 9 YEAR'S OLD...AND AT TIMES I THOUGHT I WAS GAY....BECAUSE I COULD TALK TO GUYS... BUT I HAD TO USE ALCOHOL AT A EARLY AGE OF 13 TO EVEN KISS GIRLS AND THEN LATER IN LIVING I HAD TO USE ALCOHOL TO HAVE SEX WITH WOMEN.... SO I USED ALCOHOL FOR OVER 40 YEAR'S.... AND AT THE AGE OF 18 I WAS SODIMIZED AND SEXUALLY MANIPULATIVED BY MY STEP DAD, AND OF COURSE I REALLY DROWNED IN DESTRUCTIVE THINKING TO DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOURS, AND STILL HAVE ISSUE'S.... BUT I AM BETTER THROUGH A GROUP OF PEOPLE AND WRITING MY WHOLE LIFE EXPERIENCE'S...DOWN . AND SHARING IT WITH ANOTHER PERSON....WHICH TOOK A LOT OF . HUMILITY ..TO SHARE.... I SHARE MY TESTIMONY EXPERIENCE"S ABOUT these SECRETS THAT I KEPT ME SICK, SO OTHER'S DON'T FEEL LIKE THE LONE RANGER.. AND FOR YEAR'S I THOUGHT OF SUICIDAL THOUGHTS....TODAY I TURN MY THOUGHT'S OVER TO THE CARE OF A ((PRESENCE)) THAT IS GREATER IN ME. but I don't DO THAT PERFECT..AND I LIVE THE BEST I CAN TO BE A (DOER) OF THESE SCRIPTURES ALSO II CORINTHIAN 10:3-8 WITH GALATIANS 2:20 AND II CORINTHIAN 13:5,6 AND PHILIPPIANS 1:20 AND I JOHN 4:1-413-16 AND COLOSSIANS 1:27 ((*AND*)) LUKE 17:21 WITH REVELATION 12:10,11 WITH GALATIANS 2:20 AND MATTHEW 6:33(34) and LUKE 9:62 FROM THE HOLY BIBLE KJV.. I REALIZE I ONLY ENVIED MEN...AND OF COURSE I AM ONLY ATTRACTED TO CERTAIN WOMAN SEXUALLY!
I am a man and a survivor of childhood abuse. Good job man. Love and respect from Canada.
I am a survivor of historical abuse while in care as a child it taken me 16 years to tell someone I told the police and in July 2005 my perpetrator was sentenced to 8 years in prison and he collapsed in the dock and I felt everything being returned ie my dignity and my pride my self respect and my innocence my heart goes out to all who do not get justice stay strong
wow you were lucky, when i tried to ask a law company about my rights, telling them i was sexually abused, they ridiculed and humiliated me, then sent the police after me to disarm me. And i only told em about 1 event of abuse i suffered, not about how i was trafficked as a child. The police preventively harrassed and intimidated me, and now i cant sue the mob who did this to me. So nothing will return to me, i have no dignity, i just feel like a discarded prostitute. Your lucky. Even though i have a good therapist, i cant restore my self respect and since the police harrassed me, i just feel like all my life is a joke. Cant date anymore since that re-traumatization via police happened. I dont feel like i have any rights or any worth in society, nor do i wanna contribute ANYTHING anymore to society. Nothing. I have about 3 people i care. Im an empathic person, but i cant live in society anymore. I hate my country. As a person who as private detective earlier worked closely with the police, even shooting with them at the range, i can only say 1 simple sentence: Fuck the police!
@@thenaturalpeoplesbureau I
Well done Dale. I finally confronted my father at age 54. Abused from age 6. It's a really hard journey but we deserve to be let out of these emotional prisons they create.
You’re a true hero to me, Dale! Brotherhood strong! Sexual abuse does not discriminate! Men get it too! And it has to stop right now!!
Thank you for sharing your story, I'm just now getting therapy, after 23 years, I'm ready to heal. And I'm not alone.
You are definitely not alone Nathanael, I specialize in working with Men who experience sexual abuse, and so many men are starting to come forward and heal. Take care!
Many males who are sex abuse survivors fall into substance abuse to numb the pain, forget the abuse. I hope men can feel free to seek help and talk about their abuse experience.
What kind of idiots would make a thumbs down on this painful, vulnerable, and essential interview?! Sad how out of touch with compassion some people are.
Abusers for sure.
those sexual perverts and predators.
Dale! Thank you for this. There are millions around the globe that need these stories. Hear! Hear!
Thank you for this. I have been trying to speak on this myself. Trapped emotionally and mentally. I knew it for 30+ years. So sorry Dale for what you went through.
Made me cry. Thank you for being so brave to share ❤.
This issue needs to be brought forward much, much more. It's a real abuse situation, it destroys the victims and affects them (quite possibly) for their lifetime.
Many thanks for sharing this.
This shit Hecks the brain to the edge
we unable to function properly in the society and we've to hide the pain not even could cry cause we're men's and societal stigma attached to them
Yes, one is six men experiences this in the US. This topic does not get the attention it deserves.
@@farazpaw 1/3 victims of childhood sexual abuse are men.
I can feel his pain 😢 hope he find his happiness.
Thank you Dale for sharing your past, and the journey to where you are right now. I have just started the journey to recovery after 10/12 years of denial and living in fear. Honestly man, listening to you have given me hope, and encouragement to continue the journey.
I wish to be in a place where i can love myself and the people i care about without the seed of doubt, and mistrust that i have now
Thank you for doing this interview. It is so important that we give ALL survivors the space to speak out.
Wow. This hits home harddd glad there are people that will speak up about this topic. Gives me hope I'll be a well adjusted person like this legend.
Thank YOU
Thank you so much for this. I've very recently had something happen to me and this has really helped me stopped feeling shameful about it.
This happened to someone in my family.. Thank you for sharing..
Weren't it you
Massive respect at Dale . Thank you for ur share . God bless you .
An excellent point about substance abuse and the underlying cause. I am so proud of you Dale. You are loved!
thank YOU
So Much respect for you Dale! Much love brother.
thank YOU
Very good talk. This helps me and I'm going to save it for other times where I feel bad. So thankful Dale spoke up.
I was abused by my older brother from about 2 years old until I was nearly 12. Then, every year when we would go on vacation, my parents would make it a point to visit my brother's house for up to a week of our vacation. This went on until I stood up to my dad when I was about 15. He beat me up, but I didn't have to go on family vacations anymore. Instead they had him come home fof the holidays several years before I moved away... They knew what had been happening because my best friend/neighbor told his parents that what my brother had been doing to the both of us. My brother was 18 when the police intervened, but my parents paid $20,000 to a lawyer to make it go away. The excuse was that his name is the same as my dad's. As soon as my brother moved out, my parents moved me into my brother's bedroom where a huge portion of the abuse took place. My parents still live in the same house and the family of the neighbor kid finally moved about 4-5 years ago. I am now 41 years old and have been facing this battle with therapy for about 5 years now. I am now entering a portion of therapy that is extremely difficult, but I know that it will be the most helpful. It is called prolonged exposure therapy. I just want to finally slay this giant and actually become who I am supposed to be and not all of the things that it has made me.
Slay that giant.
Stay strong.
I feel you there took me thirty years to realize this. I feel like a failure how can I protect women. I act so scared, but I need to change. I need to get out this zone n feeling n live my life. This put me on drugs n everything. As lil boys if we don't get support how can we become men
Thank you for sharing your story I wanna give this man a hug
Mate we are family any time you are in Winnipeg you have a safe, fun and good space. You are my brother
Cheers from kanuukistan
Dale you are a superstar, respect and blessings❤🙏
Thanks sooo much
I survived sexual abuse from my father from my childhood and into my adult life. I dont know if justice is what i need, i just want to be normal. I want to love myself. I want to not be judged from my family. But i cant feel good about turning him in.
Please turn him in. Its not your duty to keep his secret. That should have never been done to you by your father
Thank you for your courage
I am here trying to find videos that will help me understand how being abused by men causes bisexuality or homosexuality... how does being abused make kids think that they are gay?
Even though it was abuse, it still creates a body response that is unknown by a child which confuses boundaries and confuses focus on what human, female or male is the one that causes attraction. In others words, it was your first sexual experience even though it was unwanted - it left an impression. I've known females who become adults and are repulsed by males because they were raped by an adult male as a child and then become gay because it is the only way for them to connect safely with another human. I know it is different for males because they are more programmed for sex in a more dominant way but I still think similar 🤔
@@RWB20 Confused boundaries makes sense to me, when you say it was the first experience unwanted and with the same sex. I struggled with that question of perhaps being gay or bi. Went down a rabbit hole of exploring those communities and had come to the conclusion that although it felt familiar it was not fulfilling to my true nature and attraction for women was natural. It also opened up a world of deeper and darker things going on that I was not prepared for both morally or legally for that matter.
The entire sexual arena is so twisted in these current times that I realized that my story is almost mild and normal compared to what goes on in todays world. I can identify with Dale's experience in many ways and this was the way it was for many cases back in those days, never wanting to admit or let anyone know in fear of being casted out and in todays society it's not unheard of to Identify as Kangaroo that likes other Kangaroo's.
Wild how times change just in a 3 decade timeline.
Little late to the party on this one, but in my case I struggled with this question for many years. I always knew I had a natural attraction for girls and I even had a girlfriend through part of my abuse years. But many years later I found this question still haunting me, it got to the point where I was asking the Lord the Big question "Why" Why would God let this type of thing happen to such innocence of his children. First mistake was to question Gods purpose.. 2nd was making the decision to explore the Gay and Bi community.
Although I had felt a sense of familiarity by being able to be close with other guys and it was consensual which made it feel more comfortable but not complete. And I still couldn't deny my natural attraction for women, so it eventually exposed me to some very dark places that brought me to the conclusion that I was not Gay and that was not Gods purpose for why I went through the tragic abuse. Perhaps Bisexual was a more accurate description of my sexuality but deep down inside I always knew and know that my heart lies with a Female mate. So my best advice if you are still on the struggle bus with this, would be to follow your heart and not your Gentelia. And that should hopefully one day lead you to your soul mate.
Hope he heals and gets over this nightmare. I can't help but wonder if his mom knew or might have had a feeling something was wrong. That would be another thing he would have to come to terms with. I feel studies need to be done on boys abused by older teen girls , because this form is totally swept under the rug. At times its considered that the boy is "lucky" as in he's getting "experiance ".
I confronted my mother when I was +-28 .... she was devastated. I 100% believe that my mother; perhaps naively as like most of the adults around me; did not know. The "monster" had us living in a "prison" - we both (my mother and I) both felt the prison bars coming off the windows when he left in 1987. It was a gr8 time but there was so much pain, tears and tribulation to come as I spent most of my young adulthood healing.
It is true that it takes 20 to 30 years before it hits critical mass. So much of life is lost in all those years.
I was 6 when I got rapped by my “friend” I am now 15
Hi Rick, I hope you have an adult you can trust and talk to about this. What happened to you was very wrong and you can move through it.
God bless you 🙏 and all the best in life 💕
I’m happy for you, I wish that could happen for me
Strange that everyone says America is the greatest country in the world and yet all the things that would help me are in other countries 😢
Women ALSO PERPETRATE sex abuse
It can happen to adults too.
Supporting you and all boys and men who have been abused sexually, spiritually, physically and emotionally. Blessings on your healing journey. You have a voice...help is available...Dr.. Kelli Palfy Author of Men Too: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse.
thank YOU - will make a point of reading your book
At least say his name so everyone knows about it
gerald justin fitzpatrick (he committed suicide in 1991 so he could not harm anybody after that) .. I just call him the "monster"
Thanks for sharing but we all really gotta move on and stop blaming our sucky lives on past abuse. Lets be stronger here guys.
Because this is a public forum, I've had to edit and re-edit my response here, so I'm stuck with this bland little comment ...
If you don't know what you're talking about, sit down & keep quiet! You're just making yourself look stupid and proving your utter ignorance!
FOR YEAR'S I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY I COULDN'T TALK TO GIRLS IN SCHOOL, WHEN THEY WOULD MAKE ANY KINDA FORWARDNESS TO ME.... IT TOOK OVER 40 YEAR'S TO REALIZE... WHY...I WAS FORCED TO GIVE ORAL SEX TO MY OLDER FEMALE COUSIN ...WHEN I WAS 9 YEAR'S OLD...AND AT TIMES I THOUGHT I WAS GAY....BECAUSE I COULD TALK TO GUYS... BUT I HAD TO USE ALCOHOL AT A EARLY AGE OF 13 TO EVEN KISS GIRLS AND THEN LATER IN LIVING I HAD TO USE ALCOHOL TO HAVE SEX WITH WOMEN.... SO I USED ALCOHOL FOR OVER 40 YEAR'S.... AND AT THE AGE OF 18 I WAS SODIMIZED AND SEXUALLY MANIPULATIVED BY MY STEP DAD, AND OF COURSE I REALLY DROWNED IN DESTRUCTIVE THINKING TO DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOURS, AND STILL HAVE ISSUE'S.... BUT I AM BETTER THROUGH A GROUP OF PEOPLE AND WRITING MY WHOLE LIFE EXPERIENCE'S...DOWN . AND SHARING IT WITH ANOTHER PERSON....WHICH TOOK A LOT OF . HUMILITY ..TO SHARE.... I SHARE MY TESTIMONY EXPERIENCE"S ABOUT these SECRETS THAT I KEPT ME SICK, SO OTHER'S DON'T FEEL LIKE THE LONE RANGER.. AND FOR YEAR'S I THOUGHT OF SUICIDAL THOUGHTS....TODAY I TURN MY THOUGHT'S OVER TO THE CARE OF A ((PRESENCE)) THAT IS GREATER IN ME. but I don't DO THAT PERFECT..AND I LIVE THE BEST I CAN TO BE A (DOER) OF THESE SCRIPTURES ALSO II CORINTHIAN 10:3-8 WITH GALATIANS 2:20 AND II CORINTHIAN 13:5,6 AND PHILIPPIANS 1:20 AND I JOHN 4:1-413-16 AND COLOSSIANS 1:27 ((*AND*)) LUKE 17:21 WITH REVELATION 12:10,11 WITH GALATIANS 2:20 AND MATTHEW 6:33(34) and LUKE 9:62 FROM THE HOLY BIBLE KJV.. I REALIZE I ONLY ENVIED MEN...AND OF COURSE I AM ONLY ATTRACTED TO CERTAIN WOMAN SEXUALLY!
big UP to you sir ... keep living !!!