DND players, what was your funniest “nat 20” moment? Part 2 (r/askreddit)
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- Опубліковано 30 тра 2024
- DND players, what was your funniest “nat 20” moment? Part 2(r/askreddit)
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DND players, what was your funniest “nat 20” moment? (r/askreddit)
DND players, what’s your best Stories of Rope? (r/dndstories) - Розваги
![A Crap Guide to D&D [5th Edition] - Dungeon Master](/img/n.gif)
I swear, everytime someone says "If you roll a Nat 20 right now, I'll let you do it," raises the chance of getting the Nat 20 by at least 3 times.
By that logic, it's become certain.
yooooo it's you
@@DoMorrMusic Yeah. It's me.
@@titanictnt7476 nice seeing you randomly
I started my first campaign last night and things were going pretty slow. Everyone was being cautious but I said “fuck this let’s ooga booga this shit!” and essentially sprinted forward.
Ended up getting us caught up in a hallway surrounded by 4 sentries.
I said with full conviction “I want to roll for persuasion”. Everyone groaned and said no. I didn’t care. Rolled a nat20 and everyone fucking died laughing.
We convinced them we were new recruits for their army and walked right by. lol
My DM said “Fuck, I was just thinking if it’s not a nat 20 you’re all fucked”. They don’t even have to say it out loud. They just have to think it 😂
DND: "Can I feed them a pickle"
Me: *dyes of laughter*
R/boneappletea
Sensu bean
You: dyes of laughter
Me: Which colours? I didn't know laughter had colours! >:0
boneappletea indeed
dies
A giant who when caught yelled *”YOU DONT SEE GROG”* and people would just be like ok I don’t see you and walk away.
I believe he was a rouge that only use intimidation
And I think it was an orc.
Grog is a goliath barbarian actually
It's like a Skyrim NPC. You shoot an arrow at their buddy and kill said buddy, they say they'll avenge their friend, then sit down and eat bread while saying "Must've been the wind". Yeah, sure buddy. The wind carried an arrow into the cave you're in and coincidentally killed your friend.
@@Gamer88334 In The Elder Scrolls that might actually be the case.
I remember role playing a character and saying something pretty dramatic like “You will pay for what you’ve done to my mother!” then i rolled a one
Lmao good times 😂
No, I will do upon you what I did to your mother!!!
The dice went “The fuck he will”
@@anishshirodkar484😂
Me: I roll to vibe with my snake
My DM: ..*sigh* fine.
Me: *Nat 20* OHH-
Netflix and CHILL
@@brodyplaze7526 yes
Ultra vibe.
lmao i pulled out some drugs and got high with my faerie dragon pet
The Holy Vibe of Deadly Living Vines
I can just imagine if RL worked off of dice rolls...
"I attempt to run for king of the world" *nat 20*
Other guy rolls to become king of the world. Your exiled from society.
Actually, the real world in great parts does seem to depend on dice rolls, aka random chance. Which is only a concern if the real world had a shitty DM who allowed some random stupid power gamer a 5 % success chance for world domination. Sensible DMs in the game just don't allow a roll in the first place if a player attempts something that was as good as impossible.
My dice is loaded to be one
Unless it’s “roll to die”
*Tries to overthrow the throne* *nat 1* Dammit!
Don't worry, I use my help action! Roll again!
The pickle
The "pickle"
That was mine dnd creature!
PICKLE CRIT!
thanks for an idea for a weapon.
he fed him pickle rick
So, my first ever D&D campaign, my friend is DMing a one shot for two of my friends and I. Our one friend, playing a human wizard, has been annoying us, so when we cross a bridge and he falls in, we don't immediately sent down the rope, we just laugh at him.
Until a giant sea creature pops out of the water.
Now, this man has made a couple of bad throws in the last 5 or so minutes, unable to climb out, or convince us to send down a role, but we are laughing, and it is all in good fun, but this seas creature emerges and we all panic, a merman esque monster with blue skin, I don't remember it's exact name, but I digress.
He hits my friend down pretty low and he can't get to the rope we lowed, and we know, one more hit and he is dead.
So my friend does the only thing he can think of as a last ditch attempt.
"I roll to seduce him."
We all kind of laugh, and though it's not something she normally let's happen, the DM figure, why not, he dead anyways.
Nat 20.
The way the DM describes it is that he literally just ripped off his clothes in a last ditch effort, and the creature was so taken that he fell instantly in love. After a few minutes, during which, myself and my other friend "feel the need to look away," the creature gently raised him back up to the platform, with a tender kiss, and we go on our way.
Needless to say, my friend got the title of monster fucker, and we named the creature Phillip.
Kgb open up
My best simple story is not me OR my DM getting good/bad roles.
Basically, a paladin, and a DM who was willing to bend rules slightly if it made sense.
So, we need to get into this place. We have every right to in fact BE in this place. Due to invitation, but shenanigans were involved so the guards are not letting us in and... we fail any sort of diplomacy. Yes, intimidation included.
So, our paladin (who also is a DM sometimes in a different thing), on his attack roll, gets a Nat 20. The DM is about to speak (presumably with how badly the paladin bashed the poor guard's brains in) when the Paladin's player just cuts him off with enough real life intimidation that HE effectively becomes the DM for a minute or two (the paladin's player is experienced as an especially forceful yet fair DM, I should add).
His "argument" basically went as this: "I charge up to him the instant he accidentally blinks. When he next opens his eyes, he sees just metal. A stationary hammer, less than a tenth of an inch from his face. I ask/demand/intimidate him with 'I have come to deliver truth. I will NOT be stopped by you if it means saving this world.' " The guard (and friends) just basically get shocked into letting us go through to the "conference to decide the fate of the world" sort of thing.
And that is how we used diplomacy with an *ATTACK ROLL.*
Bro I'm crying too funny lmaoo
Today's DnD recipe: Seduction roll + nat20 = "...and that's how I met your mother"
@@achtsekundenfurz7876 Or in the case of a certain Jester and a certain Fjord, "...And that is how I met your mother AGAIN."
My best NAT 20 moment was in this just for fun made up game among friends, the game in a modern setting. This tall demon with a grunge aesthetic, black eyes, and a thick accent jumps my dude in an alley, beginning an encounter. "I WANT TO MARRY THEM!" "Hang on Koro, what? You're kidding, right?" "I CAN'T RESIST GRUNGE, DM!" "Bet." everybody at this point is cackling. "Nat 20 and this emo lanky boy is my fiance!" "Alright, alright." we're all doubled over and wheezing by now, and I straight up can't breathe, because the idea of my spontaneously proposing to this demon man threatening me with a machete is hilarious to me, and I needed it to happen, it was such a cursed thing but it was so dang funny. NAT 20! "OH. MY. GOD. I carry my new husbando bridal style back to the party to join the raid."
TLDR: Got jumped by a demon with *L I T* energy and married them.
My home group consists of my middle brother, my dad and myself (and my youngest brother sometimes). We entered a town that was celebrating a festival. The festival had many carnival events that each of us took part in. My brother is a half elf monk. None of the events that took place really took advantage of a monk's skill set. He ultimately decided to enter a pie baking contest just to feel involved. He rolls a basic skill roll (don't think there was a major skill for baking... survival maybe). Nat 20. The pie he made not only won first place, but it was so good that we essentially had free bardic inspiration dice for that adventure. It was a damn good pie.
What flavor was that pie
Marie Parisi pie flavor probably
I swear I read a story like this on this very channel...
WHY IS THIS STORY SO FAMILIAR?!
I've never submitted this story myself. I think this was a one shot kind of module my brother found online. I couldn't tell you what it was. This was just what happened.
Also, I believe it was some kind of cream pie IIRC...
@@WillTBear1 a ...creampie you say?
no wonder it was so good.
It is so enjoyable how you read every single story. You are doing a great job mate!
Thank you Pan! I try my best to just let it go with the flow as best as possible.
I disagree
panicpille agreed
Brian Vaughn I love that you read it out loud. You know EmKay? Yep, I think that you have the potential to grow that big XD
True, I love the parts where he just can't contain his laughter!
This narrator always manages to get me in stitches! That pickle story made me spray hot coffee out of my nose while I was out with friends. Said friends who have never played DnD asked me what caused my scene.
Sometimes, I wonder if I need to get new friends or have them join the fold.
Dude have'm join the fold and spit out drinks with you.
@@BrianVaughnVA I'll take you up on that advice :D
Nice
I've never played dnd and this still was hialrious.
@@o.lyandzberg2784 play it. you will not be disappointed.
The funniest nat 20 moment happend between two players.
The elf druid and halfelf bard had an ingame romance and one night at an expensive inn when the druid laid in bed waiting for his boyfriend. The bard in question used "disguse self" to look like a naked version of their dwarven party member. Sooo he quitly snuck in to the bed and when the druid turned around the was looking into the face of his old friend saying "Hi" with a big grin on his face. Of course the first thing he did was firing an ice knife into the face of the prankster. Without hesitation.
Me (DM): "Ok, roll for spell attack."
Druid PC: "Nat 20."
Brad PC: "..."
I describe how the bard is pushed out of bed and flys into a wall, half frozen and back in his halfelf form. A worried maid enters the room because of the expolsion and see the half naked druid in bed and the half frozen halfelf on the floor.
Maid: "Are you alright? Did something happen?"
Bard: "Nothing."
DM: Roll persuasion.
Bard PC: "Nat 1."
The maid gives bith of them a knowing glace, believing that some kinky shits happening here and leave the room while saying: "Ah. I'm deeply sorry for my intrusion. I'll leave you to it."
The whole table laughs and the bard wasn't allowed to go into the bed that night. Man, I love players just being chaotic.
I remember once long ago we had a gnome in our party that we called "Ankle biter"
My teifling ended up tying a rope around his waist and walking him like a dog until a confrontation.
He rolled high enough to bite through the rope and attack the creatures ankles.
It was brilliant.
This one's about a campaign I played about a year ago. I was playing one of my favourite characters to this date, my Brass Drakin Berserker, who worked as a Bardsmaid when everyone first met each other. Me and the Elven Druid in our party had some difference, since the guy had a deep grudge for all things Draconic for various reasons. That changed quickly. Recently, the town said tavern was in had been frequently visited by a young, female red dragon, who for some reason, had the plan to declare herself queen of the region or whatever. Our DM likes to make overly dramatic antagonists. We ended up confronting the red dragon in question head on, however, though being fairly reasonably leveled and powerful, the dice really weren't on our side during the fight. We almost TPK'd, all while the dragon was taunting us, like that quote on quote: "rich alpha bitch every highschool has" (We had talked to the dragon beforehand and she didn't take it well when it turned out that I was older than her). At one point, my character had enough and, although having been previously dismarmed, used my wings to make an unarmed attack against her head. Rolled a Nat 20. So aside from my party celebrating me like a national hero, the following happened: According to our DM, I flew up to the dragons face and I quote again: "Proceeded to straight up backhand that bitch across the face, tossing herthrough the entire cave and yelling at her to shut the hell up." The dragon retreated, right after we almost chocked on our own euphoria.
Yes
Nice lol
I have a ton of stories for this, but my favorite is the time my players goblin paladin tried to be humble.
They were... “sneaking” into a bandit camp, attacking from a range to lure out small groups instead of attacking over a dozen bandits at once. The paladin has low decided but high strength , so in THEORY in this system (pathfinder 2e) they should have low hit chance but high damage.
“Guys , don’t expect too much of me this fight. I’m not so good with javelins.”
Nat 20, Max Damage. He throws a javelin THROUGH the head of a bandit, killing them instantly.
“...Well, I guess I’m lucky today. “
Second turn. SAME DAMN THING HAPPENS.
*Looks at their own hands.*
“I COULD HAVE SWORN MY AIM SUCKED!”
*BIMBO THE DESTROYER*
AND OF COURSE IT HAS TO BE THE BARD
A story I have is from a campaign I recently started to DM. It still was the second session, and I meant that one to be a tutorial for a friend who had just joined, with some light battles to get her used to the combat and stuff like that. The group of, at the time, four players (a rogue, a wizard, a home brew alchemist and a knight who was absent that day) was at the capital of the kingdom, which had a circle shaped wall around it and three main districts. They wanted to go to the second districts, a residential area located one level above where they were, but some guards were locking from going up for reasons currently still unknown to them. The guards casually mention that a 500 gold piece bribe would be enough to let them pass. The group then turns around and begin to consider their options.
Alchemist: ...I don't think we'd have that money even if we combined everything we have.
Rogue: Well, we can always just rob poor people.
The wizard and the alchemist both burst out laughing, and I just stare at the rogue for a while. He ensures everyone he's not joking, so the wizard points out that both her and the alchemist have lawful alignments.
Rogue: Can I roll for persuasion then?
Me: Alright mate. But you're going to have to roll pretty high to-
Rogue: Nat 20.
Me: Uhm.... Alright, Wizard and Alchemist roll for-
Rogue: I have a +3 charisma modifier.
Me: *sigh* Well then. What's your argument to convince them?
Rogue: Poor people already have so little money they won't notice it being gone.
Thoroughly convinced, the group then proceeds to head off to the city's most poor neighborhood, rob five family houses, get stuck on bathroom windows twice, set the neighborhood on fire, kill an old man and find a cursed necklace that revived the old man they had just murdered fifteen seconds ago.
Rip the knight who was absent. He missed quite the experience!
WE GOT TO 50K! Great job! Glad to be one of them!
same
YEAH FIFT- hold on you look familiar
Presley DeJean
DEUS VULT
Same
Congrats on 50K! This campaign is going to be hilarious
You have no fucking idea how crazy this is going to get.
wait what? what camaign, been looking for a D&D thing to join ;(
I was a first level wizard in a 2nd edition campaign, ages long past. It was our first session of this particular campaign. Needless to say, I was pretty weak after my spells ran out for an encounter.
Toward the end of this session, we had been fighting a necromancer who would be the BBEG for the duration of our campaign (unbeknownst to us). She came in riding a wagon pulled by demon horses. We fought our little 1st level hearts out till the DM had proved the point to us that she was OP. She climbs into her wagon, laughs at us, and speedily rides off into the sunset.
...that is, until my brutally bruised wizard rolled a nat 20 on throwing my quarterstaff into the spokes of her wagon wheel, like a javelin.
The wheel exploded and she went tumbling from the wagon where she lay dazed and confused as the nearby party members attempted to coup d'grace her. The DM had bigger plans so he had her ninja vanish away, but it was a huge triumph for the team.
Congrats on 50K!
2:25 Pickle of JUSTICE
my best nat 20 moment so far is rolling a nat 20 on walking out of a party of some rich person where we had just stolen a silver bird, i shook hands with the host thanking him ofr is hospitality and my character also got away with kissing his wife before riding away on a carage
This is a Pokémon dnd session where people can fight wild Pokémon if their lives are threatened so as the group was attacked so one of the players wanted to find something to throw at the Pokémon NAT 1 found a small stick and roll to throw NAT 20 sadly not a lot of damage only 2 max dmg but then the group called that moment CRITICAL STICK
Someone else in a Pokémon Campaign insulted a Lucario. Ended with Death by Lucario Backhand.
Funniest nat 20 my party ever got had to be the cleric's. For background, it was me (gnome bard), the half elf cleric, and tiefling warlock, and the bar we had been staying in got blown up by someone, we still haven't figured out who it was. We had previously been in trouble with the law mostly on accident but were able to clear our names, except the tiefling. He stayed in the bar to keep watch via invisibility spell and us other two ran with everyone else because the bar had a secret bar that also hid a black market. We had to escape through the city sewers, but the cleric and I split from everyone else fleeing because we had to figure things out. We were directed to someplace we could get a bit of help, so we were going there. Cut to us finding the right ladder. The problem was, it was on the opposite side of the sewer, which was 15 feet across. We decide, since the cleric is taller and has a longer jump range, I would climb into the bag of holding and he'd jump across, since if he tried carrying me, his jump range would be hindered. He didn't roll high enough to make it across in one jump, proceeded to roll a couple nat 1's, but was able to throw me in the bag of holding onto the ledge. Finally, on the last roll the dm was going to allow him to make, he rolls a nat 20. The dm narrated it as "You're finally able to get a solid foothold and surge out of the sewer water, landing square on your feet on the ledge." He was still covered in literal shit and other things, and was thus dubbed Sewage Man by the player.
3:57 that's the story I told :D, For anyone wondering the paladin's name was Gronak and was my second character But the first character I used. That campaign ended up falling apart and I actually haven't used him in years. Also congrats on 50k from thegodofE.
Honestly didn't know there were multiple people behind the account, but you definitely do the best job. You have a knack for voice over
Yep! We have myself (this videos narrator) with a channel of my own that sucks right now, but I'm a voice actor and I'm growing like hell. Then we have our other guy Dave who also narrates on this channel too, and he's a hoot!
@@BrianVaughnVA how'd you get started in voice acting? And what mic do you use?
@@MrBeatlesfan117 TL;DR Version: I dove in head first by making a Twitter and an account on Casting Call Club with a shit-tier microphone (BM800 Zing You). Then I quickly found work and found out that my voice and acting ability far out-weighed my setup, so I had to splooge and buy a Scarlett Solo Gen 3 audio interface and an AT2020 XLR.
There's "way more to it" than what I said believe me, so one day ask me for the full scoop - or - I may post a video about it soon on my channel.
I mostly play D&D on Discord. On a campaign I was running we had a wizard, a warlock, a fighter, a paladin, and a ranger at level 1. They were tasked with killing the bandits at night. They killed the two guards in front of one of the bigger tents, and proceeded to slit the throats of the bandits sleeping inside. The ranger accidentally woke up one of the bandits, and they got into a fight, which got the attention of the bandit captain. After they killed the bandit, the bandit captain came out. He bought the ranger down to one hp, and he faked death. On the ranger's next turn, he sprang up, and he told the captain that he was the guardian angel of the village they were gonna attack. I also let the wizard cast minor illusion, and made the ranger glow with a radiant light, giving him advantage. Nat 20 on both rolls of the advantage check. The bandit captain surrendered, and turned himself in, and the players profited.
One of my players ended up facing the king for something dumb he did. The king told him to either go murder someone or be thrown in prison. He had no wepons or anything and he didnt want to go kill the guy. He then told me the dumbest thing ever. He says he wants to lasso the king towards him and slit his throat with a card. I tell him you have to get a nat 20. He then rolls and gets a nat 20. That was the greatest kill I have ever seen
My first series of adventures I ever played in, I was playing as a greataxe-wielding paladin from a flying city sent in basically a one-way trip to the continent below. In our party we also had a tiefling rogue, a sorcerer, and one other I can't remember. We wound up setting up a small base camp after my character obliterated some kobolds and then, you guessed it, NAT 20 Intimidated the survivors, leaving the local tribe with a religious fear of anyone in heavy armor.
Down the line, we wound up fighting a spell-slinging Ettin as our first boss, and we were in TROUBLE. I'd burned up all of my Lay on Hands pool, had only a couple first level slots left, the sorc was low, and our druid(?) was down. Me and the rogue are right up next to this giant, and the sorcerer says: "I'm sorry, but I must destroy this monster." and casts Lightning Bolt from behind us to try and hit the Ettin. While me and the rogue are about to accept our fates (he's low on HP and I have a minus to DEX), I roll my save first. Nat. Fucking. 20. Rogue immediately rolls, and wouldn't you know it. The big TWO-ZERO. Our DM, stunned, takes a moment to process it, and says: "The lightning bolt, drawn by the paladin's steel, strikes him square in the arm, snakes over his armor, and out the head of the axe. The bolt arcs to the rogue's dagger, jumps to the rapier in his other hand, and out that point directly into the Ettin's nutsack. Paladin and rogue take half damage, Ettin takes max damage."
The rogue still goes down, but I'm now the kentucky-fried paladin and still in the fight, while the Ettin is on hands and knees crying in agony. While the rest of the group is in hysterical laughter, I take my turn to walk up and Smite the Ettin, and since I had advantage on a prone target in melee, *drumroll* NAT 20. I decapitate that motherfucker, but only *after* we blasted his nuts off.
Mine was when my friend wanted to do an old fashioned testimony, which means squeezing testicles till it’s done. He rolled a nat 20 strength roll to get it to work, so to avoid being castrated I rolled a constitution saving throw, and rolled my own nat 20. Since my constitution was at a maxed 20 and his strength was at 14, I won the roll and was hence forth titled ‘balls of steel’
I have situations where a lot of people in my group roll high enough to get *All* the skill checks, when multiple skills get called out. This tends to let everyone, as we very rarely split the party, know everything that is needed to know, the idea being that we tell the rest what we know. One thing to note is that my guy has no negative modifiers - all are 0 or better. Means that an 18 is at least an 18.
Recently, group had to do another triple skill check - insight, perception, history (it don't matter much) - I made a sucky roll, so I used inspiration, got a *Nat20* on the re-roll.
DM: What do you have?
Me: 20.
DM: In what?
Me: (Point to the dice, and lean back) I'll fill what needs to be filled.
Guy Next To Me: I also got a *Nat20* on my roll.
DM: Good to hear. Now -
Guy With The *Worst* Luck: I *also* got a *Nat20* on my roll.
Group: (Starts laughing and grinning, including the DM.)
DM: (Big Grin on his face) Since that covers everything, *Here's* what you all know now!
We have a lot of fun.
It's been a while so I'll try to remember everything the best I can.
This happened when I joined my second DND group with my (now-ex) boyfriend. Our DM was really cool and let us create some pretty strong characters right off the bat. I created a female, Neutral Good, Half-Human, Half-Gold Dragon Dancing Dervish that used a double-bladed staff as a weapon allowing me two attacks with each turn. So we started playing a new dungeon when we came across a hoard of goblins. So far, everyone had been rolling low numbers and spirits were down as some had already taken heavy damage. When it came to my turn, I walked up to the closest goblin and rolled a d20 for the hit and d8 for power.
Me: Crit 1 and an 8.
DM: "You stumbled from the force of your own swing. Roll for the save."
Me: Nat 20
DM: "You save yourself from taking any damage. Roll for second attack."
ME: Nat 20 and an 8
DM: Sighs. "With amazing acrobatics, you swung your weapon while recovering from your fall and sliced the goblin cleanly in two. Roll for intimidation."
Me: Nat 20
DM: "All the goblins run away in terror."
Apparently, DM had planned on that fight taking us around 30 to 40 minutes to complete with the emergence of a goblin king and a second wave. I derailed everything less than five minutes in.
I love the story about how we're new to the game so we weren't taking things serious my DM has never given us that chance every game we've had combat we have all gotten seriously injured and seriously low on HP and two of our characters have now had some issues with having to do death saves
Okay, we were playing the lost mine of phandelver. I was dming, and my sister, mom, dad, and sister's friend were the players. We were in the final dungeon, and the party split up, leaving my sister alone with an ochre jelly. My sister, a centaur barbarian, has been benefiting from my extremley easy dc20 animal handling check to tame a monster. She already had a stirge and owlbear, named bingo and bongo respectively. She tamed the ochre jelly with a piece of meat, and named it bungo. She then tried to rejoin the group.
"Okay do you want to wait with bungo, he only goes 10 ft a round."
"Hmmm. Okay, so you know I have an anvil and rope?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I try to make a rollerscate for bungo"
This deeply confuses me, and has her friend laughing
"How do you make a wheel with rope?"
"You can"
"Ugh, fine, but you have to roll a natural 20"
*rolling sounds. 20*
This causes an uproar from my sister, her friend and I.
"Dude, Ursidyth (her character's name) just invented scates" her friend realised. I was disapointed, but amazed.
Please use this for the next funny nat 20 video
omg hilarious
@@joda7697 thx
So to start things off our group has one of the most dedicated DMs I've ever had. He does hours of prep work for things that we may never come into contact with. I once saw his laptop and he had about 35-40 tabs open that all related to the campain.
Well one night we had just finished fighting off a cult and the demon they were trying to summon. We managed to beat them before they could finish all of the sacrifices and thus the demon desolved back into the stone it was being summoned from.
While the majority of our group began to loot dead cult members one of our mages decided to check out the stone.
Mage: I go to the stone and I pick it up
DM: Are you sure? A demon was just coming from that.
M: Yeah, I want to see if I can learn anything from it.
*rolls nat 20 on perception *
DM: YES! Oh I planned for this.
We all at this point are concerned because we have dealt with some of the other things he had planned that had nearly killed players before.
DM: As you look into the stone you feel the stone look back into you...
He continued and long story short, we now have a possessed Mage that if he has a crit fail on any checks he has to make a will save against the demon otherwise he passes out and the demon takes control.
This was 6 months ago and there have been several characters turned basically into toothpaste by him.
Ah! 50k! You guys better upload the campaign here as well
I legit only know of DND and this channel because of auto play and it sounded entertaining.
Bentley Otto - try it out! With the right group, it’s a real blast.
Ajehy I wish I could find people to play it with tbh :/
I made a perception check in a dark room to see if I could identify the specific beer in the barrels instead of getting the dwarf to read the dwarven writing. I got a nat 20, but the brands were written in common, ultimately. It was pretty funny especially considering my next roll was important for the story, trying to wrestle a soul back into someone’s body (which is a long story for another day), and I got a 4.
Nat 20 beer roll, fumbled plot rolls. Sums up my luck pretty well.
One of our group bet the artist among us that if he rolled 3 20s she'd have to draw raunchy pictures of a certain character (she's done it before). She laughed and agreed.
The guy's face was complete stone, never breaking eye contact while he shook the dice in his hand. Finally, after building up the tension, he released the dice and you already know what he got. The whole table was in an uproar. Never underestimate the power of a horny 20 year old.
I was a dwarven druid level 1
This was my first time playing so I was still learning the rules.
I was fighting 4 ghouls along with my party and got a nat 20, then I made a check for critical hit, I was so excited, until I learned undead are immune to crit. hits.
I came across this video recently and what I enjoy is hearing how genuine the narrator is! I enjoy hearing narrators chuckle or out right laugh from the script and go off character for a moment because of a story which adds a special charm to the video imo
Start of the video " happy to see everyone here!"
*me covering up my webcam*
"Wtf? Are you part-time FBI?!"
This was great, I doubled over laughing at the pickle one. Hearing these stories reminded me of the time when the party were snooping around, we were sent to investigate something, I don't fully remember what since it's been around 5-ish years now, we were trying to find clues or something & we were caught by some guards who were suspicious of our snooping, we didn't want to just fight them because then it would show our intentions of being there so we just kind of let the guy with high charisma talk us out of this but unfortunately, he couldn't think of anything smart on the spot & just kind of blurted, "THERE'S A FIRE DOWN THAT HALL!" & what does he roll to convince them? A nat 20. I still laugh when I think back to it & I like to poke fun with the group every now & then on that.
Drinking game: take a shot everytime he reads "Not a DM, but..."
For someone who doesn't get to play anymore due to scheduling it's great to be able to hear others tales thanks and keep it up
I rolled a nat 20 for my pocket sand, a god blessed it and it is now pocket sandstorm
There was one time when the party and I were hired to rescue a prince from some captors. I stayed in town a little while longer to get some new equipment from the blacksmith and told the rest of the party I would catch up, so they proceeded into the Deathclimb Forest without me. Bare in mind, I was a half-orc who was multi-classed barbarian/rogue, who had a 8 Intel and 9 Wisdom, but 18 Str and 17 Dex. I ended up seeing them standing still off in a distance a little while after proceeding into the forest and a bloodied up person in front of them holding a short sword and some dead bodies around said person. So I took the stealth route and hid in some bushes to try and get around him and surprise attack him from behind. I rolled a nat 20 for stealth check. Then again a nat 20 for initiative, which ended up letting me attack first. ...or so I thought. Incredibly enough, I ended up rolling yet ANOTHER nat 20 on my surprise attack and ended up sticking a sword through his lower back, and slit his throat with another. Needless to say, I got the kill. Little did I know, that person turned out being the prince we were looking for and were supposed to save. Turns out, the group of kidnappers ran into a group of owlbears that had torn them all to shreds, while the prince had managed to escape, along with two of the captors who had chased after him and my friends had managed to take out before I had gotten there...oops.
so, did that restart aka derailed the campaign?
New DM here! I started my campaign 3 weeks ago, and we have sessions every Friday (except today because 3 of my 5 players had to miss and we were currently in the middle of a mini solo session with one of the missing characters). But here are the incredible things my characters have rolled nat 20s on. Mind you only myself and one of my player's have played DnD before, and my player had played way more than I had (that would be my barbarian).
1.
Seeing a fountain with pretty water
Rogue: Can I roll to see if it's magic?
Me: Sure roll Arcana
Rogue: *rolls a 19* 18
Me: This fountain has restoration magic worked into it and it keeps the hotel from every being ruined.
Rogue: So... the water has,,, healing properties?
Me: ...what do you want
Rogue: I want to steal it
Me: Ok, roll Sleight of Hand against Pryj
Rogue: *gets like a 5, plus like 5* 10
Pryj: What do you think you're doing?
Gnome Fighter, Elf Fighter, Ranger, and Barbarian: Can we try to steal while they're distracted?
Me: Fuck it, why not, I'll roll Pryj disadvantage *rolls 13*
Elf Fighter, Ranger, Barbarian: *get below 13*
Gnome: *nat 20 and fucking books it to the desk after shoving it in his bag to go save the rogue from more scolding*
2.
My characters got some gold as payment, and decided to go gather supplies. They buy 10 loaves of bread and 5 gallons of ale. They chug their ale and I make them all do Con Saves.
Ranger: 9
Elf Fighter: 10
Gnome: 15
Rogue: *rolls with advantage since we had previously distinguished she's been drinking for a long time and had built up a tolerance to drinking* 18
Barbarian: *huge grin* I'm fucking wonderful, I feel great, I got a nat-fucking-20
Barbarian and Gnome carry Elf Fighter and throw him onto his bed. Rogue chucks Ranger over her shoulder and drags a tipsy, underage, NPC along beside her. Puts NPC in the extra room and, by request of the drunken Ranger, lays the Ranger in the bathtub.
3.
My characters accidentally found out the God that their enemy worships, and decided to see if there was a church in town that worshipped him (mind you I made my own Gods, this one was Xulykx, God of Greed). They get to this church filled with Grung and are quite dissaponted.
Gnome: Can I burn it down?
Me: Aren't you all Chaotic Good?
They all realize they're chaotic good, Gnome looks me in the eyes.
Gnome: Fine, I want to set the church on fire to cast light into the church so I can see inside better.
Me: Roll.
Gnome: *nat 20, huge grin*
Rogue: *gets a 19 to put it out*
Gnome is currently on the Barbarian's shoulders. He looks at me with a huge grin on his face.
Barbarian: I roll to throw Jakob (the gnome, who he had been planning to throw ever since I told them they would be a mini party together with the rogue)
Me: I'm gonna say to roll a straight strength check, no changes since he's willing
Barbarian: *nat 20, chucks the gnome so hard he lands back inside of town*
Finally, an actually good Reddit UA-camr who voice overs the posts! Thank you!
I love how you read your stories & it gives me so much inspiration for campaigns! Your voice is just so soothing & your laugh literally gives me life. Just a small request, can you read more DnD campaign stories? Like the Mind Fuck stories, story lines that go for years, & DnD Tales. I really love those & I would love to hear you read some out!
Sorry for bothering you, just a suggestion :) Your work is amazing please continue!
Lots on new content coming next month and the tales will also make a comeback soon!
Congrats on 50k!
First off, congrats on 50k! Also, if there's an odd request or question that a player asks during a game, always assume it will lead to some major cheese!
So I was playing D&D with a couple of friends, but this was no ordinary campaign. Because of a few really young girls playing they wanted to do a campaign based around Pokémon. The campaign consists of me, and dwarf Paladin, a bugbear rogue, an aasimar warlock, the two girls who I don’t remember what they played, and another friend of mine who was some kind of monk.
We had just got back from fighting some really tough fire Pokémon and me and the rogue were playing dragon chess, which was a running joke in our group for some reason I can’t remember. We both roll and I beat him, but then he rolls for stealth to cheat and gets really close to if not a nat 20. I then roll to see if I detect him, and I get a nat 20. We had slept the night before and heard some shuffling, but nothing attacked during the night so we shrugged it off. I then ask the dm if I can flip the board because he cheated.
Dm “ are you sure?” Kind of laughing a bit
Me “ ... ye- yeah”
Dm “ are you one hundred percent sure” still smiling”
Me “ YES”
The dm then describes as I flip the board off of the table and onto the ground next to us how every bit of ground around us in a 60 foot radius proceeds to drop into the abyss because some diglets had been digging for the past couple of weeks directly under us. We all fall and almost die, but manage to survive and spend the next couple of sessions trying to get out of a cave system. Fun times
"C..." *trying not to laught*
"CRI..." *chuckles*
"CRITICAL FLICK!" *bursts out laughing*
I like the fact that you're laughing and commenting, it's 100% better than the monotone narrators I usually listen to.
Thank you Vaughn! Also hey, I'm Brian Vaughn, the narrator! Woo!
But yeah seriously I just want to have a good time and give everyone here a good time. I won't fake a laugh or fake a tear, I just want everyone to feel at home and connected when I narrate.
@@BrianVaughnVA Well we, (at the very least I) appreciate it. I look forward to seeing this channel grow and you guys getting more popular, no doubt it'll happen. Btw, I'm special so it's 2 Ns >:D
Oh i got one for this. So i was playing D&D with some of my friends and while we were fighting some skeletons my character Rin (who is a half orc barbarian) was having a bit of a competition with another player (an elf ranger) to see who could to the coolest trick or something, so the elf proceeds to shoot an arrow directly into one of the skeleton's heads killing it instantly and says "think you can beat that?" As she said that one of the other skeletons shots an arrow towards my head, to which i quickly say "I try and catch the arrow with my hand" the DM looks at me and says "you don't have that skill yet," but i insist on doing it. The DM says "well alright but your going to have to get a 20 and with your + 2 dex," so i roll and yell "nat 20!!!!" as the DM chuckles and says "without even looking away you catch the arrow just before it hits you and say, (to the elf) oh sorry was i meant to be watching something?" Then the entire group starts laughing. I constantly bring that up whenever the topic rolls its way to funny D&D stories.
Edit: sorry if this was a little bit hard to read
This channel is one of my favorites i just love how he reads them and puts in the voices and laughs at some of them
Well I'll say this! Every laugh, every tear, every moment of epic win or total fear, it's all legit. I used to edit them out in the beginning, but then I started leaving them in because honestly? You're not robots (you guys being the listeners), you have emotions and so do I. What better way to enjoy a story than to hear it read aloud in a clear voice, with fun voice acting and with real emotional connection.
Kind of like hearing a bard tell tales by the fire in a tavern.
@@BrianVaughnVA yeah man thanks it's my favorite part about all the videos
3:25 is so relatable! Our group smashes rolls outside of combat. The moment combat starts we can't get over a 10 lmao
Very large Dragonborn doing a auction
PC muttering to another PC: that’s a very Fat Lizard
Other aunction member comes over: what did you say?!
PC: I said that’s a very Yat Wizard
Roll for persuasion
Nat 20
PC: Yeah you know the kids coming up with new weird phrases each year!
CONGRATS MR.RIPPER!!!! 50K!!
the pickle thing reminded me of something. i was playing as a cleric and we found a bunch of sleeping goblins and when they woke up they had a sac of pickles and they tossed it out the window well my cleric can speak goblin so he could hear them saying there here for the pickles quick toss them out the window well as a joke i said i wanted to run to the window scream noooo not the pickles yell at the goblins for intimidation and pick up the goblin next to me and toss him out the window screaming get my pickles back or die. the dm said roll for intimidation grapple and str to toss him if u win the grapple. i rolled a nat 20 then a 17 then another nat 20. all the goblins in the room started to jump out the window to get the bag of pickles back and started saying sorry really frantic no kill no kill as they also saw the goblin i tossed dead near the bag haha. also when it comes to my cleric jumping in any manor i always seem to roll a nat 1 its basically canon that he cant jump for shit and will just hurt himself trying hes fallen first into the ground so many times...
The Fat Goblin one as a DM on the nat 20 roll I would have said. "All the traps trigger and fire as you run. Fire blasts harmlessly over your head. Arrows wiz past your ears and a few dozen blades slice and hack just above your head. who ever installed the traps in the dungeon must have figured most people would be at least four foot tall to die to these traps."
If a critical NPC dies in the first session, they retroactively prepared a clone, as per the spell.
I've got one. We were playing a tweaked dragonheist. *SPOILERS AHEAD* Stumbled on a sewer area we shouldn't have been at our level (told later) after investigating an illusory door covering a warehouse full of monsters. We came across a couple of beholderkin, tricked them into splitting up, but the dex barbarian didn't realise what was going on and took off down the sewer.
Here's the moment. He came across an Eye of the Xanathar talking down to the guy who appeared to have been running the area we just came through. The barbarian was stealthy enough and managed to listen to some useful information while the fight resolved and the party came looking for him. When we arrived, he was sneak-attacking the guy who'd been talked down to (the Eye had left already). The barbarian rolled a 20 to sneak, and a 20 to pick up and throw the guy off and into the lower levels of the sewer. We were laughing our arses off.
Unfortunately the guy cast polymorph, turned into a feathered serpent, knocked out the barbarian, and whilet the party were closing in to beat the shit out of it, took the barbarian and flew away down the sewer.
3 funny moments from me playing DND
Before we started i would always joke “I role to burn down the town” i rolled and usually got a nat 20
2nd was when we actually started we went into a forest to fight goblins, i said i roll to burn the forest to prevent an ambush, got a nat 20. DM wasnt having it, so he said “you light a tree on fire a branch falls and lands on your foot, you lose a toe” i wasn’t happy
Last wasnt exactly a 20 but close enough
We went into a cave to find the goblins, we split up me and 2 other went into a room with 3 wolves
I immediately said i roll to pet the wolves
Got a 18-19 cant remember and got to pet all the wolves and could pass safely the others had to roll to get by I rolled to keep the wolves, i rolled poorly so i only kept one. The others had to fight the other 2. I was upset but got to keep the wolf.
The next session we all died
I can't believe that only 6 months ago, you started a UA-cam channel. And just 2 montha ago, found the channel, and have watched all of the videos you sent out. I believe it is your channel where one of the stories was a dwarf faced a dragon and failed every role trying to kill the dragon, as does the dragon itself, and the dwarf becomes obsessed with having a "warriors death"... I need to watch that video again, please!! Never laughed so hard in my life
I'm screaming- I try to not laugh out loud to not disturb others, but when you laugh as well I just can't contain my laughter. 😂😂
So, we had an artificer that kept insisting on finding a pebble during a fight against giant slimes (we were level 2). The DM gives in and lets him roll a perception check.
Nat 20
He finds a razor sharp, super durable pebble. He then casts catapult, yeeting the pebble at the slime. The poor thing instantly explodes to the might of the Nat 20 pebble
Oh yeah! D&D Time!!!
I've been waiting for this, and now I'm waiting for the stream!
(Oh yeah, it's me, VictorLincolnPine, from the server, hai!)
Breaking a Gem with two Nat20s.
Just happened today. Party is in a tomb (6 guys, Level 5). Prior session, dealt with a couple of ogre zombies and a group of skeletons, then a trio of ghosts. In that session, got K.O.ed, but cleric forced a potion of healing - causing my Yuan-Ti Pure. Paladin of Vengeance to jump up and take out Ghost 2 of 3, causing the third to retreat.
This session (4 players - Aarakocra Cleric, Fire Genasi Wizard, Mountain Dwarf Druid, and my Y.Pure Paly), encountered a trio of mummies - Managed to poison spray the one for sure, while the rest took out the other two. Then we encounter two strange women, and one ends up asking for a kiss.... Guess who kisses her, and you can't blame the bard - we don't have one - Succubus did 34 points of damage to me, and another 9 when it was her turn to attack me. Let's just say that the cleric had her work cut out for her, keeping us alive, especially when the first the wizard got charmed - thankfully druid threw jar at him - and then the druid himself - who knocked me out when I realized he was clearly under their control (yeeting a camel that the cleric, who had a robe of useful things, had dropped on the one) and I had tried to slap him out of it - and then he turned into a crocodile to bite the wizard, who used shocking grasp to wake him - thankfully, the cleric got a Nat20 on her Death Save - got up, and she did Mass Healing Word (which was weakened due to a certain gem in the room), and got me up.
Now, the two succubi - one a red-head and the other had black-hair - were always like "This is going to be fun. You want to play again?" Me - I kept going for Red - she was the one who had kissed me - and I was imitating Ash Williams - "Yo, She-B - Let's dance!" as I swung my War Pick at her - I did hit her with one Level 2 Divine Smite, but I was out of spell slots afterwards, so I just kept swinging my pick at her. Took a while, but killed her. Then the cleric brought out two mastifs, who helped us out enough to force Miss Black to vanish to the Ethereal plane.
Then, there was the Green Gem, which corrupted the healing magic. When the cleric's attempt to dispel the magic didn't work, me and the dwarf druid decided to brute force it - me with my war pick, they with a war hammer - since we were working together, attacks were made with Advantage. Our first two blows (mine, then his) were good, but then our second blows - I got a Nat20, and he got one as well - idea is that my war pick landed in a crack, and his hammer treated it like a piton or chisel.
This double *Nat20* broke the gem, and freed the spirit of a trapped Firbolg, who thanked us, before leaving. We then pickd up the pieces, as they would be valuable.
I'm surprised there's not more people saying "critical success and failures are ONLY for attack rolls and death saves! Not skills or regular saves!"
So I have been known to love all enemies since I want to tame them all, one of my best moments being waking a dragon who was knocked unconscious to try make friends with it (but that is another story). We were in a gladiator ring and our DM was feeling nice so he asked what we wanted to fight. Me not being able to control myself said I wanted to tame a succubus. To the whole group's and my surprise he said yes. I got really excited as I wanted to tame it now. Our DM likes to create "spec" enemies (enemies that give more xp die to gaining a normally OP ability) so of course, me not knowing where the line was, said
"I want to tame it"
DM: you are aware that this is the queen succubus and the spec one?
Me: oh, I know. Also don't forget to role play like we always do.
Now our DM loves to role play but clearly he had not realized when we chose the enemy. You just hear defeat in his voice knowing what is to happen.
DM: this is bs, use persuasion to persuade me to role play
Me: *rolls Nat 20*
DM: FXCK
By now, the whole group is laughing at our DM and the DM asks if there is a condition he can have to stop the role play.
Idea.
With a sly smirk I say, how about this. If you don't want to role play, let me use that Nat 20 to persuade the succubus to join me instead.
He instantly agreed but spent the rest of the session trying to get everyone to kill it, saying they didn't want to hear bed squeaking every night.
I still have her to this day.
TL:DR
I rolled a Nat 20 and gave the option to my DM to let me tame an OP succubus or have him role play it which resulted in everyone to try and kill the succubus I just tamed due to noise issues
Congrats on 50k
Dying from pickles and a possibility of shitting or pissing yourself just to get informed you get a mustache is the funniest shit ever
Congrats on 50K!!!!!
This really antisocial wizard in our DnD campaign became extremely terrified of me. I am currently a level five bard who decided to try and kiss him. He teleported away and I investigated his room a bit then walked out. I then hear him come back and perfectly mimic the voice of one of my party members (nat 20) and head on inside. I then get teleported to the wilderness. The next day I head back to the city and he has a shield around his house. I break it down with ease (after having to use orccish survival) and then pound on his door. No answer. So I try and kick the door down but I failed so I rip it off its hinges instead. He has teleported out of sight. Third day I go there, obliterate the stone wall to dust, knock down the magical layer of protection on his house and kindly knock on his door asking for a scroll - I get it slipped under the door. Fourth day his house is floating 90ft in the air.
This causes major inconvenience to the other party members who need to be teleported up there by him and in another case one of them managed to hit the door bell with a bow and arrow. Come a few weeks down the line and his house is still floating. I decided to hit his house with Shatter whilst standing on the roof of the house next to his. Nearly caused a magical potion to be dropped that would wipe out the entire city. I used "sending" (when i levelled up to five i got it) and told him how sorry I was. I turn up at his door and he is ready to cast spells at me. I try and persuade him I mean no harm and that I have changed. NAT 20! DM face-palms and sighs and from me - cries of laughter.
It's the beginning of our very first story:
"is the barman gay?"
DM: "maybe roll a d20"
"Wait maybe the whole world can me gay"
DM: "sure roll the damn d20"
*Rolls* "yess Nat 20. Everybody's gay!!"
A few sessions in:
Bard: "can I seduce someone in the bar"
DM: "sure, the rest is busy drinking and sleeping have some fun"
Bard: rolls a Nat 20 "well that's gotta be an orgie now"
DM: defeated... "Alright rol a d10 for the amount of people in your orgie"
Bard: Rolls a 9 out of a d10
Whole party celebrates the victory
DM: alright Bard seduces 9 humans in the bar and takes them upstairs for a night of good fun"
Our DM hates having the Bard seduce everything but it did end the Bard in having elevated sex with a other player while the rest of the party was trapped by some evil creatures. Not our finest moment...
WOOOOOOOOOO 50K!!!!!!!!!
The funniest Nat20 I've seen came from the guy DMing the campaign during some filler in the middle of the Lost Mines of Phandelver campaign, which he was running as most of us had not played D&D before. We were short enough on players to not want to progress the campaign, but at the same time we were set up and eager for some D&D. So one of our players says something along the lines of, "I'd like to have a dinner date (he was playing a Drow) with the female NPC Drow we turned to our side". We believed this would be amusing and so it happens.
He goes the whole hog, finding AND placing a small wooden boat with a table for two in the middle of a water feature in the basement of the bad-guy mansion we had cleared last session and even tries to cook the food himself. He rolls rather low to cook, but not so low that a check for food poisoning is required. So my character steps up and, like a bro, pays the local tavern to cook a steak dinner for far more than it's worth. Even pays the guy extra to deliver it himself. Paid a few gold for a meal likely worth some silver at most.
Dinner date goes weird, as the Drow he courts has never seen such good food in her life. So she rapidly devours her steak, and then goes for his food, which he tries to play it off as romance. Dice are rolled, the boat capsizes and his name is called out in amused exasperation as he asks for his steak back, which she throws back at him. DM treats it as an attack roll. Not having a weapon stat for thrown steak for some strange reason, we agree on just a flat D4. He rolls the D20 for the attack. Natural. Freaking. Twenty. Laughs all around. Now, I can't recall if it was 1d4 doubled or 2d4, but our boy takes the maximum of 8 points of damage from a thrown steak. More laughs all round and the DM didn't know how to roleplay that.
Well, I did. As he gets up, he asks for his steak back. I mime him getting up, poking his head over the edge of the boat as he asks, using the table to represent the now-upended boat before getting hit dead-center of the head with the steak he'd just asked for, then cracking his head on the edge of the water feature from being knocked back down from a steak hitting him on the head. Which he continues to eat. A meal, AND something to put over the black eye. Ah, good times.
Feel free to use this.
if it wasn't for monster hunter i wouldn't have known to fear pickles, until today that is.
I was a level five dragon born monk/druid: ended up seducing the black dragon (BBEG), & taking her treasure.
We’re now married with ~5 kids (forgot how many exactly)
69th like
Nice
Nice
Nice
So, I just want to share this one.
I was the GM of a Stemapunk campaign, alternative system but the basics stats all the same (Str, Dex, Int, etc.).
The party: A human gunslinger, a dwarf gunslinger, a magic kind dwarf (we used aether as the magic source of the world), human engineer and an orc like engineer guy with lots of point in Str but low Int, 7ft tall.
Basically, world was destroyed and rebuilt using steampunk tech, they all are mercs that work on a ship that hunts artifacts of the old world, one day the find a recording about some lost guy who wants to save humanity. After that they all end in a famous bar with their captain paying for their drinks, thanks to the great findings of the day.
After some time, a group of shady characters enter the place, they´re looking for the guy in the recording, any leads they can get, players, of course, get in trouble, before they can bolt out, a “mage” casts a sleep spell, resistance check and now both gunslingers are asleep.
Big guy takes the human and two bags (with lots of supplies and equips) and runs with them on his shoulder. Them we have a human carrying all other bags and a dwarf carrying a dwarf.
When they get out, big guy is far down the street, so they others that stayed behind steal a carriage pulled by a mechanical horse, they start screaming, he turns and see them, the carriage is faster and is going to go by him in moments, so big guy goes:
“I gonna throw the human and bags at the carriage”
So, I see that this is going to go wrong, but let´s see what happens “You want to throw all that into the moving carriage?”
“No, no, I mean AT the carriage”
The human, unconscious, just watches in disbelief, and the others go “Are we supposed to catch that?”
And I continue “Okay, so you stop to- “Got cut out.
“No, I going to throw the bags and the human AT the moving carriage WHILE I’m running”
A try to hold my smile, deep breath “Okay, so you have a lot of weight and that´s one hell of a shoot, make two checks a Str to see if you can launch all that and a Dex / Ranged to see if you hit” He goes ‘kay’
Obs: They were using my dice set, and I know my babies never fail to amaze in such times.
I hand him the D20, rolls Str check “Nat20” everyone goes mad, jumping from their chairs, already high fiving each other saying how he nailed it like a pro.
I just sit there, smuggest smile on my face waiting until they notice me and remember.
“Oh shit”
“Roll the other check man”
Big guy rolls “So…”
He rolls a 2.
Human get desperate, everyone starts laughing, big guy is just looking at me with the most blank face possible.
I calm everyone down and start “You wait the carriage get closer and haul the human and the bags over, they fly past the carriage, the human hits the sing board of a clothes shop and falls on the awing of the store ripping it, the bags crash into a cabbage cart, as the human was launched quite far away that would be like taking falling damage…”
Everyone looks to big guy “I did my part, gonna keep running, see you guys later”
He bolts off, carriage pass by the unconscious human, the other dwarf goes back for him, they end escaping fine.
Bonus: Human jumps out carriage with passed out dwarf on his back, Nat 20, lands perfectly, when they are all together again, I ask them “Did any of you remembered about the bags?”
They have the bags that big guy had (pretty much ruined but okay enough to use), them they remember about the other ones, with money, supplies, their weapons and food is now in a uncontrolled carriage lost in the middle of the town.
Congrats for hitting 50k, honestly this channel is massively underrated. You guys diserve much more. I'm sure I stand for everyone when I say I enjoy that you have actual people reading theses and not a computer. Keep it up!
i love your Channel
Wow I’ve never been first
It’s weird
Can’t wait for stream
Edit - Whoops, Thanks for keeping me honest
Tree King not first 3rd
*Stack o likes*
3rd
"I want to throw him"
"he could be hurt"
"Good *Throws* "
Nat 20
"He dies"
Another nat 20
"No damage"
Intimidation 20
Goblin:"Oh *FUCK NO* "
Here's mine. (There are going to be some parts that I'm mentioning that will only make sense if you were there, but I'll do my best to piece it all together.) My best friend joined my D&D group, which I knew some epic shit was about to take place. I had missed the previous session because of me being unable to make it there, but our DM had a good way around it. The evil wizard had apparently hit my character with some kind of beam that teleported my character thirty minutes into the future, which is how my character had missed the battle. My group then proceeded to fuck up the wizard without me, beating him to an inch of his life. In a last-ditch effort, the wizard had managed to teleport the rest of the party THREE YEARS into the future, assuring the wizard's conquering of the continent. Next session starts. The party wakes up in a hospital-type place after falling 80 feet into the fountain in the garden of an ambassador, which my character had become a bodyguard for during the three years. (My friend's character is introduced as an existing bodyguard for the ambassador.) As soon as the cleric wakes up, he straight-up tries to bitchslap the ambassador. (Long story short, the cleric's PC forced our DM to adopt a homebrew allignment the PC created called 'Chaotic Retard'.) Being the ambassador's bodyguard, I put the cleric in a chokehold. Cleric escapes the chokehold and I'm forced to chase him through a castle, Brock Sampson style. I eventually managed to paralyze the cleric and stupidly tried to bring him back to the hospital bay. He IMMEDIATELY tries to bitchslap the ambassador again. My friend's character tries to butt the cleric with his sword, which was a vorpal sword, to try to pacify him. (Since my friend was joining a game where the rest of the party were both 10+ levels and had at least one magic item each, the DM basically just gave him the sword. Vorpal swords, when the PC rolls a Nat 20, automatically cuts off one of the limbs of whoever they are using the sword on.) Welp, Nat FUCKING 20. Our cleric was now headless, thus ending the story of the Chaotic Retard. (We gave that PC a choice, either make a new character and stop pulling all the bullshit he's done with his cleric, or leave the game forever.) We have both a Paladin and a Necromancer, so we don't need him, thankfully.
TL;DR Brand new player unintentionally rolls amazingly at the cost of our cleric, which turned out to be a good thing.
Yes yes yes
Will there be face cam in the stream?
Yes!
Sadly yes, you're going to have to see all of us, including myself in my little blanket fort of a studio I made.
So, I’d like to start with the fact that I’m a very special kind of DM, the kind that makes up the entire story as the campaign goes, anyway, the party is traveling through a desert just outside the starting village and comes across this strange obelisk, the rogue curious about what it is of course, rolls investigation, gets a nat 1, and proceeds to activate it under the full belief that she’s about to summon a badass-giant desert scorpion-companion. So, after dodging through a horde of scorpion men, poison dart traps, and a camel-minotaur she places a few drops of blood on the altar at the base. The earth starts quaking and the sands open up beneath them. She summoned a tarrasque, if yaknow, ya know. Now although that’s ridiculous enough as is, the cleric promptly steps up and says “I’d like to roll animal handling to tame it”. I, thinking that this is too ridiculous to pass up agree to let him, but they’d have to roll a 25 with modifiers, cleric has a plus 4. Then the cleric rolls, and slowly looks up at me grinning, nat 20. So, he tamed it, and I promptly inform them that they have just awoken from a dream.
Love how natural you sound I listen while I drive to work
That my friend is the aim to these narrations. I tend to be a warm, happy, bubbly guy, but I can also bring a lot of emotion to the table (whether it be joy or sorrow, anger or fear) and it's all raw. If it's not funny to me, then I won't laugh. If I find something sad, oh boy I'll tear up.
Glad I can convey it right and do justice by ya Pat.
Dear Mr. Ripper, Rip Daddy, Ripptard, etc. feel free to use all or part of this story.
Part 1. The Scapegoated Rescue
This story comes from a few years back at one of my first times DMing. The campaign setting was custom where the prince of country was corrupt and killed his father to seize the crown. He used the dragonborns of the country to be his enforcers (important for later). So the party was consisting of four close friends of mine. Two newbies and two that were familiar with dnd. The newbies were a human eldritch knight, and a wood elf beast master. The other two were a half-elf bard and a barbarian (i can't remember the race I think it was Goliath or human). So during the campaign the party had joined up with the resistance who opposed the capital now controlled by the prince, and gain a few interesting magical items. The one most important to this story was a stack of paper that when drawn on will magically create whatever was drawn. Once drawn the player just rolls a straight d20 with no modifiers. The higher the roll the better the item created is. So, as they worked forward and did missions for the resistance they were tasked to infiltrate the prison of the country, which was located on an island in the middle of a large lake, and rescue one of the recently captured members of the resistance. They were teleported to the closest port to the island, but had to find their way over to the prison. As they investigated the town they discovered that the prince had sent a large collection of black scaled dragonborn to the city. They saw as people began to crowd around the town circle. Approaching they saw this massive 8ft tall dragonborn with white scales and black armor who was clearly in charge yell to the crowd, "I will show you all what happens when thieves cross my path." as he took the girl and placed her head on the chopping block.
The group asked around and learned that the girl who was maybe 12 years old stole some bread for her and her brother who was 8 years old. Their parents died years ago from illness. At this moment the white dragon born unsheathed his greatsword and pointed it to the front row of viewers, "watch closely" he said pointing to a young boy. The boy tried to look away, but other guards forced him to look at the stage. At this point the two newbies were convinced they had to do something to save her, but the barbarian was against it. As they discussed the bard just turns to the rest of them and says watch this.
"I want to look for the most douche bag looking guy around" the bard said.
"Roll perception" I said narrowing my eyes.
"16"
"Moving forward and looking around you bump shoulders with a guy who turns to you and says "watch it skinny ass."
"Perfect, I want to walk about five feet away from him and cast vicious mockery on the white dragonborn. "I yell pick on a real man pussy".
"uh ok, I rolled a 6 he failed. So as you yell this the dragonborn captain stops just before he lifts his blade to the girls neck and turns in your direction, "who said that".
"I want to look shocked and point at the douche bag"
"roll deception"
The bard rolls, laughs almost out of his chair and says "25".
The douche bag notices being pointed at "Hey no it was..." The captain rushed over and choke slammed him into the ground, then said "you're gonna regret saying that, Let the girl go today, but if she so much as stands in front of any shop without money I will bring her right back here."
The douche bag guy was unconscious on the ground and eventually would wake up with a hefty fine and crushed vocal cords.
Part 2. The Birthday Entertainment
Later that same day the party moved towards the docks finding a ship used to transport prisoners to the prison on the island.
Guards turn to them and yell "Hey what are you doing over here"
The bard steps forward "Oh we were asked to come to the prison by the warden, we have a letter" The bard proceeds to grab his bag with the magical paper and says "I want to make a scroll that has a letter sent from the prison"
"ok roll for it"
"17" he said with joy
He then presents a finely crafted letter and the guards say they will take them over by ship.
Once they get to the prison gates the boat turns around. Making it into the court yard they see a few different guards posted on the walls. The front door opens and a man dressed in steel plate mail steps forward "I don't remember hearing of guests today, why are you here?"
The bard turns to the rest of the party and says "I got this", he then pulls out his lute and says "we're a traveling band of bards and are here for someone very important's birthday"
"roll deception"
"18"
At this point I wasn't sure so I thought I would leave it up to the dice gods. I will roll a d20, with low being in their favor.....natural 1.
"As the knight before you puts his hand on his blade and looks cautiously over all of you, an odd add happy voice pipes up from on the guard tower. "ItS mY bIrThdAy, aweee the warden remembered."
Everyone was convinced until one of the other party members said something like "i've never played an instrument before" to the knight, who they tricked to thinking they were bards. The battle ensued, they won and would go on to save the resistance member.
Tenth
At one point in my first ever campaign (we had like, 5 new players in the party), our party got a glimpse of the bbeg, which was some sort of insect monster. Strange, but not too strange. We go about our interaction, most of us paralyzed in fear. Our fighter was not paralyzed. So, as such, he looks the dm dead in the eyes and says
“I want to roll to pee on it”.
This makes the entire party burst out in hysterical laughter. Our DM agrees, but only on the condition that the dice the fighter uses is a yellow-translucent d20 (we call it the piss dice). He rolls. He gets a nat 20. At this point, no one at the table is not crying with laughter. After several minutes of being unable to breathe and getting strange looks from the people around us (we were in the school lunchroom afterschool), the DM says “alright, so you literally take off your pants and since you got a nat 20, you piss in its mouth”. Our fighter pissed in the mouth of the bbeg of our campaign.
At one of our campaigns, pretty recent, the party entered a bar. Our party consists of two rogues, a bard, a sorcerer, and a fighter. The rogues and bard are in the Cult of Rakdos, the fighter is in the Simic Combine, and I, the sorcerer, is in the Izzet League. We had just escaped from prison.
Bard: I want to have an orgy.
DM: No, you're too young for that.
The bard doesn't listen.
Bard: What do I roll to impregnate someone?
Also the DM: Slight of hand.
Bard: Nat 20!
The bard now has now impregnated someone, and we proceeded to get arrested. Again.
last
Or are you?
Nah bro 😂
Thumbs down for having a story about a blood hunter
Thumbs down for being a piss baby
be me: a dm running out of the abyss campaign (everybody starts as prisoner/slaves)
immediately from the start my friend ask "can i break these manacles?" (20 strength dc btw)
"sure"
rolls a nat 20
me "oh so thats how this is gonna go down" (basically throws away all difficulty and seriousness in finding a way to escape from these chains)
I screamed yesss, when I had seen you made another one of these. I love when you read these. Especially when you laugh.