Holy moly that call with the short tempered guy and his father hit me hard. My dad has depression/anxiety and was a functioning alcoholic and would rage at me and my sister when we were kids. I struggle with rage now. I'm going to try that thing you mentioned about high-fiving your parents instead of honoring your partner.
Really resonated with a few of these calls. I work in mental health, there are a lot of discussions about how to get men more engaged - John does such a great job modeling what questions / framing those conversations can look like. Thank you.
My husband and I watched Hillbilly Elegy. We realized our similar childhoods were identical to this movie and celebrated that we have changed the pattern for our daughter. Be better!
Are you sure that worried wife isn't on her way into co-dependency? Having a few beers when going fishing or some whiskey when cleaning your guns (please moderate your liquor intake while handling firearms), or a glass of wine after work is fine. This guy sounds like he does all three all the time... I really really appreciate that you don't always "err on the side of caution" and stay realistic, I'm just not sure about that one. Love the show!
In conclusion to each conflict is everybody needs therapy, counseling, marriage counselor, premarital counseling yet mental health professionals are severely underpaid... the mental health industry in general is not held to a high regard
Well there's a reason for that sadly n it's only getting worse. John if course recommends alot of this bc it's at least something that can help people make changes. They could read some books together or listen to podcasts such as this but you usually need to engage with the material n info more directly so a facilitator in the form of a therapist or counselor can be best way. I'm sure even John recognizes how difficult it is to actually find someone who is really a good, knowledgeable therapist who also has good boundaries n ethics. Then of course there is the pretty hefty price tag sometimes even with insurance. And if course just like Individual therapy, there's no guarantee you're going to get what you really need to make the changes you want or understand what you need to heal n move on..
I miss pay phones. Many of lifes problems concerning boundary issues could be handled by tossing an annoying family member a quarter and telling them to call someone who cares.
I think because it's increased. They never discussed how much though and how often he is drinking. This can sneak up on even the best of people. If life is pretty good now and he has a few drinks to socialize and he's only 31 probably not as concerning but if he is doing it just around the house several times a week and almost starting to need it to unwind or decompress that can become worse. The fact that he has this childhood stuff as well as a mother who actually was an alcoholic n she died so young puts him at greater risk..of they start to have problems or work problems etc this could easily get out of control if he turns to it more n more. I tbink it's good to have some rules around ones drinking like limiting to certain occasions, certain amounts n times. Also develop other social outlets n ways to decompress like gym or some sport etc..Never have everyone in your social orbit all be drinkers.. Once he hits 40 the drinking will definitely be putting weight on whether he's an alcoholic or not n that causes many other illnesses. I'm Irish n drink by the way but I'm not ready to give it up yet. Do you with the idea though n right now just try to keep it in check.
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Holy moly that call with the short tempered guy and his father hit me hard. My dad has depression/anxiety and was a functioning alcoholic and would rage at me and my sister when we were kids. I struggle with rage now. I'm going to try that thing you mentioned about high-fiving your parents instead of honoring your partner.
Really resonated with a few of these calls. I work in mental health, there are a lot of discussions about how to get men more engaged - John does such a great job modeling what questions / framing those conversations can look like. Thank you.
My husband and I watched Hillbilly Elegy. We realized our similar childhoods were identical to this movie and celebrated that we have changed the pattern for our daughter. Be better!
It's spelled Hillbilly Einstein
Are you sure that worried wife isn't on her way into co-dependency? Having a few beers when going fishing or some whiskey when cleaning your guns (please moderate your liquor intake while handling firearms), or a glass of wine after work is fine. This guy sounds like he does all three all the time... I really really appreciate that you don't always "err on the side of caution" and stay realistic, I'm just not sure about that one. Love the show!
In conclusion to each conflict is everybody needs therapy, counseling, marriage counselor, premarital counseling yet mental health professionals are severely underpaid... the mental health industry in general is not held to a high regard
Should be cover on all insurance. Mental health is super important
Well there's a reason for that sadly n it's only getting worse. John if course recommends alot of this bc it's at least something that can help people make changes. They could read some books together or listen to podcasts such as this but you usually need to engage with the material n info more directly so a facilitator in the form of a therapist or counselor can be best way. I'm sure even John recognizes how difficult it is to actually find someone who is really a good, knowledgeable therapist who also has good boundaries n ethics. Then of course there is the pretty hefty price tag sometimes even with insurance. And if course just like Individual therapy, there's no guarantee you're going to get what you really need to make the changes you want or understand what you need to heal n move on..
Great Episode, guys! Love the answers.
I miss pay phones. Many of lifes problems concerning boundary issues could be handled by tossing an annoying family member a quarter and telling them to call someone who cares.
Did the wife just find out about her husbands drinking? Why is she trying to change his casual drinking after marriage?
I think because it's increased. They never discussed how much though and how often he is drinking. This can sneak up on even the best of people. If life is pretty good now and he has a few drinks to socialize and he's only 31 probably not as concerning but if he is doing it just around the house several times a week and almost starting to need it to unwind or decompress that can become worse. The fact that he has this childhood stuff as well as a mother who actually was an alcoholic n she died so young puts him at greater risk..of they start to have problems or work problems etc this could easily get out of control if he turns to it more n more. I tbink it's good to have some rules around ones drinking like limiting to certain occasions, certain amounts n times. Also develop other social outlets n ways to decompress like gym or some sport etc..Never have everyone in your social orbit all be drinkers.. Once he hits 40 the drinking will definitely be putting weight on whether he's an alcoholic or not n that causes many other illnesses. I'm Irish n drink by the way but I'm not ready to give it up yet. Do you with the idea though n right now just try to keep it in check.
Just remember, Jesus didn’t turn the water into Dr Pepper...