my high school breakdown
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- Опубліковано 1 жов 2024
- who else was unhealthily s t r e s s e d in school haha ha
🚨 there are discussions of mental health throughout the video, but i've tried to keep it light hearted!
there is also a slight flash at 2:00 - 2:02 that people with photosensitive conditions may wish to avoid. :)
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how many of the animators in that classroom with me at the start do you recognise? ;)
You got any t-shirts???
indeed i do! www.teepublic.com/stores/owiebrainhurts?ref_id=34943&
Bro got that Tee rizz, sorry im a mess
Unrelated, I went down to pet my cat who likes to sleep with the car, now my hand smells like engine oil
@@owiebrainhurtsthis video is *PAINFULLY RELATABLE*
@@Chitose_ fr, the fact that even people who generally excel at school STILL hate it proves that there is something FUNDAMENTALLY WRONG with the way that we are trying to teach kids, and because this story presumably takes place in UK due to the presence of GCSE's, it shows this is an international problem and nobody has really cared enough to figure out how to actually give kids an education without shitting on their mental health yet.
"the once straight-a student. they can't even remember their lefts and rights nowadays." DID NOT HAVE TO CALL ME OUT LIKE THAT.
SAME
Once upon a time (1st to 5th grade/primary school or whatever), it was easy. Afterwards, I didn't know how to take notes because I didn't have to while growing up🙃
Imagine being the top student in countryside small school only to find out it was below average in metropolis high school
Fuck my life
@@mixingcat5213 YIIIKEES....
That hit a little too close to home for me right now
America has standardized testing from grade 3 for most states, but 24 in 2 months is horrifying.
I would have had 17 if they weren't cancelled by covid. One of them was gonna be a 2 day long art exam.
A levels was more reasonable. I had 9 exams. I had a few friends who had 10 - 12, but that's coz they did a language (they get a whole 4 exams, rather than the usual 3 per subject) or an extra A level.
I'm currently going into GCSEs, currently staring down *27 exams* over 1 month
@@lutrinae_yt Jesus christ, you poor soul. I hope everything goes well.
Isn't the US amazing
Nah fr us crackers and tea sippers are D1 standardized testers
being called a "gifted" individual was a very smart maneuver considering you get rolled under 5 steam rollers towing tractors behind the moment you sit your sats
and then when secondary rolls around that "gifted" title was no more than a you tried sticker
Ironically, the nature of "gifted and talented" means you have no experience on what "try your best" actually means.
@@qqwui9989 "Try my best"? I've never even tried😔
@@qqwui9989that just means you're lazy and don't have accountability. Nobody will put in the effort except yourself, have some responsibility and not whine about your label
not hammering nails here but taking from what owie said when you are praised by people for your success and labeled gifted and talented it leads you into a fixed mindset where you dont push yourself in fear of failure and your best is always different for many
and sure some people are genuinely lazy and know they are but throwing lazy out there is like shooting an arrow trying to hit the apple ontop a persons head so while i understand what you are saying just a minder
there’s also something called Pathological Demand Avoidance that can fuck with people and you can’t really change it aside from coping mechanisms/strategies
(it’s related to autism/adhd maybe?)
"My message is not to not try- it is to not destroy yourself while trying."
Holy shit. This really resonates with me.
I'm in high school right now, and I've spent the past 3 years constantly teetering between giving every single ounce of care I had to every single thing and being physically unable to care at all. At some point, I would find myself crying before the PSAT or a Chemistry exam, but unable to grieve at all when I lost my dog. Right now I'm still in that place, somewhere between maximum and minimum effort- Somewhere between finally feeling okay and displacing my emotions. Amidst all this, that line is really reassuring. Like, maybe there *is* a way forward.
"I would find myself crying before the PSAT or a Chemistry exam, but unable to grieve at all when I lost my dog."
Goodness.
Hey! Kid! I believe in you. It gets better, I promise.
I had a Fun Mental Health Moment™ for basically all of high school, which is only starting to be mostly resolved now, 4 years after I graduated. I was not able to go to college or uni despite wanting to, because school simply does not work for my brain chemistry.
So I just. Went to therapy. Started working part time. Signed up for some government run programs that help disabled (autism, adhd & chronic depression in my case) people find suitable jobs, and I recently landed a job at a natural history museum through one of those programs!!!
I worked a pretty boring retail job until I got that one, which was fine. My colleagues were nice and the work wasn't too hard. Nothing wrong with doing what you have to do.
Your life isn't decided for you once you finish school. Taking a break is fine. There is plenty of help available to help you find something you want to do that makes YOU happy. It might take a while. But that's perfectly fine. You'll get there in the end.
People always used to say to me that high school is the best time of your life, but I have personally never been happier than I am now. I'm in charge of writing my own story, and I'm so glad I realised that a slow burn can be just as satisfying to read as a fast paced thriller.
I hope this doesn't read weird, English isn't my first language, AND it's 1am so I am very sleepy LMAO
That's me, I was unable to grieve for my cat when he ran away in October. My life has been empty and miserable since then. I've had the most nervous breakdowns over school ever. It only gets worse. Good thing to graduate. We don't talk about senior year.
The way ive gone about it for a LONG time is do your absolute best... Unless you can afford to not.
Like, say you have an assignment that's due, and its due that night, but by the time its due, you only have it half done. I would say, leave it half done, if your grade is still ok by the end. Lett it go, move on to the next thing.
And then if your grade does happen to go below passing... That just means you cant afford to not anymore, at least not as much, its time to hitch things into high gear, and push through until its over. But dont stress about it because as long as youre doing mostly ok, its going to be fine.
A bit of a balancing act and *hopefully* you wont have to end up there, just stay passing the whole time, but life happens.
Honestly, I think being in that halfway point, between feeling ok, and displaced emotions, its kind of where you have to be. I think there's a certain point in life where the "ok" you felt as a child will never be felt again. Only in fleeting moments when the world melts away. But you know, its ok. Just how life is.
School isn't made for Neurodivergent people, I prefer to just do a few subjects at a time instead of having to focus on over 10 different GCSEs. I still some how passed everything even though I only really revised for a few of the subjects.
gd player located
@@python-wp2pb x2
Exactly that: I really, really love computer science. On the other hand I absolutely hate economics - why do I need to take all those classes that I am not interested in, fully knowing that I already have decided that my future is decided by computer science and computer science only? It's as if schools do not even allow one to have a passion in one subject or be certain about what you want to do in the future until graduating.
@@your_entity_devcey Honestly it would be SO nice if we were able to look into career paths and how they are like in reality, all the bad parts along with the good parts. We should also be allowed to choose between taking school as it is now and going into a particular genre of study instead of wasting time on studying something that never mattered to you.
as a higher support needs asd haver i failed school pretty hard. none of it made sense and the students and the teachers were hell. i don't even know how that stuff coudlve been adapted to me.
A minute thirty in and that sounds like an absolute nightmare. American education is no picnic but that many exams in 2 months would have broken me. No question
Wait do Americans not have exam periods like this?
@woahwonderhoy ours are a bit different, it varies by state but there are typically standardized tests at the end of the year given by the state for core subjects, math, science, English. Then some subjects have teacher made exams, and there are tests like the ACT and SAT's which are sometimes looked at by colleges.
There are also AP exams, which give college credit for a subject, but you can avoid those with a community college class instead. Which are usually easier to transfer to a university than AP's.
I've been out of school for a while now, so I may be mistaken for a few. But those are the big ones we usually deal with
@@darkninjafirefox So you only have to really do 3 externally ( set from an outside source) exams?
Do the teachers make their ones easy or is that not allowed?
That's way more than usual. The normal amount of GCSE subjects we take is 9. Not 13.
@woahwonderhoy they're not supposed to be but sometimes are because you know what your teacher is looking for. Seniors (last year of hs) can get exemptions from teacher made exams of their grades are high enough, but not state ones
Poor cat gets exploded all the time 😔
#JUSTICEFORORANGECAT
@@beefchopstickITS RED
@@barfingraiinbowsI can't believe the green cat is dead 😔
@@Noobgalaxies 😞
@@barfingraiinbows can't believe the violet cat died 😭
“Imagine there’s no school, I wonder if you can. No need for books or teachers, the freedom of man.”
🎵imagine all the students 🎵
Techer beet the studnt
My highschool mental break was walking out the window of my STEM class and walking nearly an hour to my house in the Florida summer heat, arriving home from school about 15 minutes after school got out, which for a bus rider is ya know, UNUSUAL? Mom asks how the hell I got home so quick just as they called her about my disappearance from the school.
I dream about doing that everyday lol congrats
The window?
OUT THE WINDOW??
Out the window? Damn he just like me
ok but how does one *walk* out the window?
I have ADHD, and honestly I've been going down a slow downward spiral ever since I graduated high school 4 years ago. I just don't even know what I want anymore. I only have enough motivation to do the bare minimum like keep a crumby job, keep the house somewhat clean, and feed my self. I either feel like I'm in hell, or just don't feel anything at all.
100% can relate
Therapy might be a good idea! I’m fairly certain that you can call any therapist office and just ask for a appointment. You’re an adult, they aren’t going to stop you from getting help. Maybe. I’m not great at this
I’m so sorry. I graduated 2 years ago. I’m in university but this semester I’ve been constantly thinking of dropping out because I’m struggling so badly to do work and I feel ridiculously guilty about it. I’m on summer break, still with missing work to catch up on (lest I get a D in 2 classes) and I can barely even shower or brush my teeth. It’s so bad. I don’t feel like I was built for adulthood at all. And I can only imagine things getting worse for me. But all I can do is hope I improve, I guess. I genuinely hope things improve for you. You deserve happiness.
@@nexatic2145 I've been seen the same therapist every other week for almost 10 years, and I just feel like it's not really working out that much. My ADHD and depression having been kicking my ass hard these past few years, and I feel like it gets better in some ways, and harder in others. I always feel like I could be trying harder, but with ADHD it's not that simple. Maybe I need a new therapist.
@@novelle.27 I really hope things get better for you to. The one thing that keeps me going is that I like to call myself a stubborn bastard who doesn't give up. Also, no one really tells you the realities of being an independent adult, especially if you're more or less on your own. Just whatever you do, don't stagnate. Even if you're forced to slow down, don't lay down and give up.
"We like school, we love school... until I SCREAM 'F U SCHOOL' get my freedom"
cries in mental breakdown and my physical health LMAO
sameee
me 2 bro :(
“The message isn’t to not try - it is to not destroy yourself while trying” That needs to be said a lot more
even thinking about trying feels like I'm destroying myself... (most of the time) ... i might have seviere PTSD from school but can i afford a therapist or whatever i would need? heh no
I feel this lmao, threw my phone during a panic attack and broke the glass on my oven yesterday because I thought I wasn't graduating
im not a doctor/professional (!!!) _but_ I don't _think_ its typical panic attack behaviour to throw a phone? its something you might see more commonly in an autistic meltdown (which are often confused with panic attacks). I may very well be wrong! But there is a chance this might be information that you find very useful
@@owiebrainhurts I'm not sure if its an autistic thing because I have panic atacks like that and I haven't been diagnosed with autism, but with ADHD, depression and probably have some other disorder that affects my temper ( like bipolar ), but can't get an official diagnosis for something like that because i'm underage
Oh i might experience meltdowns thats actually a big explainer of things
Did the phone survive?? Oven glass is pretty thick. That must've been some throw.
@@owiebrainhurts that's probably what it was
this was the realest thing ive seen this month or so as a fellow "gifted" autistic 🎉
THANK YOU for saying that your job isn’t about how much money you make, I only just realized this like a month ago and everything’s changed for the better !!
by the grace of god i basically got to skip gcses because covid, so i had really good grades
then i had to do a-levels. holy hell the actual exams ate me alive.
hah, im not in pain, i did both, i had covid and exams (not even lowered gradez fuck my life), i am a chronic procrastinator so did jack shit in terms of study so unsuprising grades had a distribution of yes, then college happened and god
Oh gosh yes! Om certain that if I actually had to do my GCSEs then, I would have been inconsolable. Paste on the floor. Crying and screaming and getting in trouble for causing disruptions in the exam hall. Locked in a bathroom stall for 7 hours straight. Idk.
One time I failed (by my standards at least, as in high 60s) two math exams in a row literally because I already knew everything and was so bored in class I did more advanced math on a separate piece of paper and completely tuned out the teacher. By the time the tests rolled around, I realised I had no idea how to do anything in the particular way I was *supposed* to do them according to the curriculum (despite already knowing the material), and had a silent mental breakdown right there at my desk.
Moral of the story, um... school sucks and is bad and sucks. Also you can learn literally any math concept on the internet.
You can leave out the last "math" :) I've said this a million times and I'll say it a million more: We are in the age of information. School for the most part is now obsolete. The only parts that I think still have a place are the bare basics and specialized advanced classes, but even then... if you wanna learn something, look it up. Betcha you're gonna find at least a few tutorials.
@@DreamtaleEnjoyer I totally agree, I mean I taught myself how to code via tutorials years before I could even take a CS course in school.
The post-stress mega-void-crash is REAL. Even when it’s after fun things. It’s brutal. It’s unfair.
seriously, i had a holiday last year where i went out wearing new clothes, going out every day, feeling slightly more normal
and a week after I fell ill physically and mentally
just, completely empty and confused. I felt grief and guilt
and i mean yeah it feels painful as someone who struggles to go out, to feel more confident and never find it again
Yup, moved cross country from a hellish place/job to a great new job and ... I got super depressed. Thanks brain, right when I need to recreate a support system and look competent, you make me into a sleepy extra-autisic lump. Thanks bro
oh... she's just like me. SHE'S JUST LIKE ME FR
The ending of the video was so very specific.
I clapped my hands.
I feel personally attacked - your videos are all unreasonably relatable! I'm undiagnosed with anything though, when I tried I got told I was fine because I was well behaved and did well at school as a child...
holy shit are you me?
Might be time to find some good online autism/ADHD self tests lol
Yeah, I feel this.
I basically completely mentally collapsed in the middle of my last year of school. I couldn't take the hurled abuse from other students, teachers, that overwhelming pressure that I need to succeed and if I don't succeed I'm a fraud and a failure and something in my head finally snapped. I stopped paying attention in class entirely and just ended up reading a bunch of books I brought over from the states. ended up having to do a bunch of make-up work near the end of the school year but honestly if that was an option from the start I would've done that in a heartbeat.
I don't think you can fathom the amount of people that resonate with this video, and, more importantly, the way that you've changed a lot of their lives in an instant. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
the fact I can maybe give people the knowledge I wish I had back then feels healing. a real making lemonade from the lemons of life moment :)) this is such a nice comment! thank you!
From personal experience, life advice, somewhat related to the video: If you start to have legit hallucinations (in my case the people's faces melted, and then at some point morphed into demonic faces) because your brain can't handle school anymore (be it because of neurodivergency or stress or both), do not try to force yourself to go to school for another week because an important exam is coming up. You do not want psychosis.
School is important (because everyone needs some basic education), but there is a point where your personal survival comes first.
another certified banger from owie let's gooooo
Me, 8 months ago choosing to do A-level further maths "because i can", is really deep frying my brain rather than melting it. I'm literally being cooked
heyy i’m in the us but i feel this struggle so intimately, especially over the “women in stem” expectation; i’m still in high school and it’s been my “goal” to make it to a top 20 school to pursue a career in chemical engineering, but untreated mental illness has really ruined my mental health given the degree to which i dedicate myself to my studies and extracurriculars; stem careers also have always been emphasized in my eyes due to their high wages and it’s given me this sort of fucked up tunnel vision. this is really nice to see that i’m not alone. hope you’re doing well now ^_^
As an autistic teen with GSCEs coming up in less than a week, this video is a *GODSEND.* I'm not stressing over getting every single best grade possible as I'm not doing A-levels, I'm going to college instead as that seems to be more concentrated on my passions along with an environment that seems to be more understanding of students and encourages them as the individual they are. So I'm not trying to get every best possible grade, only focused on just getting five 5s and passing english so I don't have to resit it (I only barely failed on the final mock exam, so a bit more effort... hopefully...).
So please, miss owiebrainhurts, who is an internet personality I relate to, thus I idolise them, thus they are objectively correct in everything in every way, am I on the right path or have I severely fecked up in every way and my life is now over completely forever?
Guys, the pink british cat posted on my 2 month member anniversary 🎉
As someone who is:
- The supposed "genius tinkerer" kid taking Maths, Bio, Physics, and an EPQ on robotics and doing a bunch of gadgetry for college academies
- 2 weeks away from my first A-level physics exam and hasn't been in college for 2 weeks, and have had 30% attendance for the 2 months prior
- because my brain did a "2:17" due to non-college related stressors and home life that got so bad I need a blood test done as it destroyed my digestive system
- Has an ongoing referral for Type 2 Bipolar
- Will have to retake year 13 while all my friends go off to uni
THANK YOU for making this, it really put shit in perspective and its so nice to hear that someone else's experience of this. I really needed this and has been a bunch more useful than the defacto "take care of yourself" all my science teachers have been telling me lmao
Honestly i feel this, if it wasn't for COVID, i would have had to re-do like 80% of my GCSEs, it is ONLY because of the fact that it was the first year of quarantine and nobody in school management had any idea how to do grades i would probably still be redoing exams to this day
legit only passed cause everyone got let through during the transition to online
Omigod you were so lucky
Help
I’m sick
Can’t exactly study until this cold is over
Helllllllllp
*claps hands while weeping*
procrastinating because you may fail on your task is too real 😭😭 i can definitely get high ass marks and be the top student in my class BUT I DONT DO IT BECAUSE I EITHER FORGET OR JUST SUCOME TO THE MOST RANDOM THING AND SELF IMPLODE the other people in my class are stupid BUT IM EVEN MORE STUPID FOR NOT TRYING
Yeah I'm like you but me trying to be number 1 in my class mean I need to study math and I hate it so much I always fail this subject next year I will try cause it's my final year of highschool I have to pass 🥲🫠
As someone who was also undiagnosed autistic when they were younger, high school absolutely broke me. Ever since I was little, I was always praised for being smart and doing well in school, and that's all I was ever praised for. Heck, that's the only reason I even had "friends" in middle school; people would only talk to me if they needed help with their homework. As got into my last year of middle school and started taking some high school classes that year, it started to become harder and harder to do basic tasks and even show up for school. The pressure to perform well was just too much. Then I finally cracked when I got to my freshman year of high school. It was a new school, new town, new people, basically and entirely different setting. The workload was too much, I was too afraid to fail and make a bad grade, I couldn't get the hang of "basic things" like the new A/B class scheduling, and everyone thought I was weird and would actively avoid me. My brain just couldn't handle it. My mom finally let me go to this thing called a tutorial school (like half homeschooling, half regular school) after months of begging. But it was too late, the damage had been done by then and I just couldn't function anymore. I managed to finish the 9th grade, enroll in the 10th, but then just dropped out. I wish I could say this story had a happy ending, but I'm still struggling quite a bit. But I hope to one day get my GED though
On doing degrees later in life: my parents are both about 50 years old and only recently decided to take degrees about things they were passionate about, and they definitely seemed to get something out of it especially since they started around the time I was also starting my degree at 18/19 so they could also bond with me over it.
I dont have adhd or any kind of medical disability (one that’s been diagnosed atleast) but I completely feel this. I dropped out of school at the 7th grade due to a shit ton of stress, and my mom getting brain surgery, all in a short period of time. Over time that culminated to me being completely dysfunctional at school, which eventually lead me to being homeschooled by my parents. After that whole ordeal was over and i started homeschool, i just didn’t care anymore, or more so, a combination of me not wanting to care, and me not being able to care. Either i sit there for hours actually trying, not even able to grasp anything, or i gloss over it, and get the same results. Am i a dumbass? Yes, do i care? No, because i know if i had stayed in there, trying my hardest and failing constantly, i would’ve gone through with killing myself. Thankfully, my mom is in near perfect health, and now I’m learning on my own time how to write and draw, and i wouldn’t give it up for anything. Im lucky to have the amazing parents i have, and ill never regret my decision
Tldr: Fuck school, follow your passion and learn on your own time.
I am also a late-diagnosed autistic woman who was top of the class and had a mental breakdown in year 12 that meant I had to do my schoolwork from home for a whole term because I was having so many panic attacks I couldnt function. This video was super relatable.
As a fellow autistic person this is deeply relatable. I just barely scraped by 10th grade with a lot of c’s and this vid rlly helped show me that the value I put on going to college and becoming a marine biologist doesn’t need to happen for me to be successful.
I relate to this so much. I came out of secondary school with out wotg great grades. I remember the summer of and my teachers saying "all the work will be worth it!" And during the summer i thought "the stress was not worth it" i stopped doing the things i enjoyed to focus on GCSEs and gave myself no room to relax. Its not worth killing yourself over some numbers on a page all it really gave me was bragging rights. Wish i focused on myself more so i didnt self destruct afterwards
i love this art style of 8 bit with aperature effects with some stock images thrown in for good measure
I have diagnosed autism, ADHD and anxiety and I have my GCSEs in a week I’m in a weird zone where I’m very overwhelmed so hearing this is kinda nice! great video as always!!!!
I don't wanna share too much information, but I'm in a similar boat and this vid helped me accept that just a little bit more, thank you
shit mate, this was - is - my exact predicament. i managed to hold on through my first year of a-levels after gcses (which were covid era mind you) and then a series of unfortunate events left me having to seek alternative education as a gloopy mess.
really it was less of a social loss for me than a study loss, losing friends due to lack of contact in covid + new classes + autistic doesnt really lead to managing well in the swag department.
this video is *PAINFULLY RELATABLE*
how are you AGAIN getting inside my head and describing my life😭
also just now realised i had autistic burnout for a year after dropping university mid corona and lowkey again after getting fired from a job lmao so silly xdd
5:30 thats the kind of thing teens my age forget about success is often seen as being succesFUL, but in life success is a spectrum (hahaAUTISM) and many of the seemingly low earning jobs can be a viable career option, kind of like the garbage truck driver adage. I see where I live, a deficit in trades workers which is pretty common in Australia, they have proven to be a more than viable carrer path, whoopsie would like to say moar but i'm taking advantage of the rain, with a walk, goodbye
the cat posted
1:42 Thank you for elucidating this. This loop plagued me through much of my college education and still does sometimes.
0:25 wow look all of owie’s previous collabs
Scrump My Beloved❤
7:38 CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
as someone who didn't go through the process of getting GCSEs in the traditional way, after hearing how stressful the leadup and the actual exams are, i'm almost glad i stopped going to school in year 7.
I was bullied badly in school, and after i dropped out i found out.. other things that probably would have gotten me killed in a building full of 12-16 year olds.
Leaving school early is a very bad idea and i wouldn't recommend it to anyone. especially if you're not getting anything outside of school like... a saturday job, or going to youth groups, or... any form of education and/or socialization in the real world (that's what happened to me... i wasn't ok). that 5 year period where i was out of school was probably the worst thing to ever happen to me in terms of my mental health, but it gave me time to come into myself and, although when i started college at the very very bottom i was a horrible awkward shell of a human being, i grew into it.
been there for 3 years now, got my basic maths and english GCSEs, and working towards getting a degree in art.
long story short? college is pretty fun. it's improved my mental health just by the fact that i go somewhere where people exist and i talk to them.
Be advised that this is very long, sorry for the vent. I used to like school too. My brain loves taking in new information, even to this day, I love to think about things, theorize about scientific topics, and practice very optimistic views.
Then I got to middle school.
I was basically told that what I did in middle school would barely affect my life in high school, which I took to heart, and as the years progressed, my grades began to drop as a result of middle school being a cesspool and my declining motivation. By the end of middle school, right about when quarantine began, I was pretty indifferent about school, a stark contrast to my previous enjoyment. Also fun fact, it was the first time I had a gay crush on someone. At the time I dismissed it, but I definitely liked that dude looking back nowadays.
Enter high school.
My freshman year was... disastrous to say the least. I "graduated" middle school in May, a couple months after the pandemic started, and when I began high school in August later that year, we were doing the thing where all of our classes were at home and we talked to our teachers over zoom... and it was awful.
It was nearly impossible to stay focused on anything when my already ADD-plagued brain was surrounded by distractions. My brother, my cats, the fact I could just get up and move at any time without needing to ask for the teacher's permission, my motivation for school basically died, it was already 6 feet under just a few weeks in. I failed almost all my classes first semester. When winter break ended and semester 2 started, we had a choice to either go back into school while practicing various anti-plague precautions, like masks and social distancing, or just take classes over a website called Edgenuity. My mom, paranoid as ever, and me, wanting to slack off at home because of my dead motivation, chose to stick with Edgenuity. At first, I was convinced it was just a self-paced sort of thing. I would do 3 hours of work every day and go about my business the rest of the day. Then one day I was informed they STILL wanted me to sit for a full 7 hours, doing SUPER MONOTONOUS WORK. I just about had a breakdown right then and there. They expected each class to be done in about 2 weeks, which isn't a tall task for a normal person.
But remember: I have difficulty focusing on things I dislike, and my motivation, which was beginning to rise back from the dead, was beaten with a shovel back into the hole from whence it came, then blasted with a shotgun for shits and giggles. I still only did the three hours, lying to my parents because I didn't want to subject myself to what is basically torture for 7 hours DAILY. I knew if I told my parents, they would ensure that absolutely no distractions PERIOD could possibly faulter my work. I would have been hammering my own coffin shut. Surprise surprise, I failed freshman year all together.
Sophomore year, and the quarantine was finally beginning to die down, school had opened back up, and it seemed like now that people could talk to me in person, I might actually have a chance. And it started out sort of well for the most part, that is until it got later and later into the year. As burnout slowly crept up to me, I began to do more work figuring out how little schoolwork I can do while still passing than actually doing the schoolwork. I felt nasty, like I was cheating, but I just couldn't stand much more work. This would repeat constantly with each semester throughout the whole year.
Now, nearing the end of high school all together, I don't really have much hope of passing at all. Why don't I care? I should be terrified but, I don't even feel motivated enough to be worried...
7:30 this is so funny for no reason lmao
I did some research on autistic burn-out to write a literature review for my first year of studying Applied Psychology. The term is still in its infancy, especially in the clinical field (as opposed to use by autistic people themselves), so the exact definition still needs to be ironed out. The definition at 3:57 is the one proposed by Raymaker et al. I believe. I personally like it, but it must be said that later researchers could find no basis for stating that it's "typically 3+ months" (it could be shorter or way longer, no real pattern), and some have proposed a larger role for the effort of masking, rather than having masking be just one part among many of "life stress".
Anyway, I didn't get that paper done in time because I got perfectionistic, but I did learn some things.
(Also, I had what was likely an autistic burn-out and was then diagnosed as a regular burn-out when I was fifteen, hence my interest)
At that moment they weren’t listening to music, they were living an experience.
here’s a thing that my mom told me that is a golden rule in my book
“I you go to school is so you learn stuff, not so you can have good grades; if you were a genius, why would I even sent you to school in the first place?” and that really put the stress out, I didn’t study for tests and still got good grades.
TL;DR: go to school to learn stuff! not to get good grades
As someone who is currently living this, hearing “to not tunnel vision on what is fundamentally a very small part of your life” and generally the entire video. Which really put into words what I couldn’t for the last year and a half, felt like a dunk in a cold lake, I think I needed that, so thanks, truly.
I related to this so much, Except I'm in Scotland and Early diagnosed. my National 4s and 5s were also during lockdown. I'm really struggling with knowing there is always options cause School being important was hammered into my head and I was told I should already have career plans. but damm that last 30 seconds is scarily relatable
oh no way, fellow Scot! I'm sitting my advanced Highers rn and it's fuckin killing me 😢 at least most of my uni offers are unconditional
yeah GCSEs are awful and the teachers around you will build them up to be your whole world as they see fit. it (probably [idk i'm not neurotypical LMAO]) works for neurotypical people, it could give them that boost of encouragement that pushes them to care about their exams, but for neurodivergent people like myself that kind of rhetoric is very damaging to our mental health, destroying it for months during and after the exam period is over and recovering from that insane amount of stress can take even LONGER. even now I still sometimes relapse into feeling awful and useless because I'm not in college yet because I've been surrounded by people in school that make college out to be my only option. I'm getting better tho especially since last year too :3
tl;dr england sucks and it hates me /j
Yeah i mean. people often dont realise how much categorically different it is for nd people
and i didnt even get to do normal gcses.
i realised i couldn’t cope even at 12, got worse for a couple years, covid allowed me to find a homeschool thing (only for math + english)
but just the stress of my whole life being dependant on the near future felt hmm. soul crushing. traumatising.
so ive never been the same since all or the things I experienced on top of it.
And now im sat here 4am all the time acknowledging all of it, and not being able to help myself.
Its all just, overwhelming, and all i have inside is just soft love. so im kind of grieving the fact that someone so innocent can be completely isolated and alienated mentally
i wish the world was built for ND people, because it would acknowledge variety in how people function, and accommodate all
HEY! I love your channel's videos, and as someone in high school, this helped me so much, and you actually gave so much motivation! Now my brain won't melt!
i think no one should do any sort of exams and learning should be optional
all replies will be ignored
0:49 as a British person I’m proud to admit I did infact not ask this question 🔥🔥
Gifted young boy to burnt out trans catgirl pipeline is real (source: me)
I loved that wink 4:13
“Imma watch one video before catching up on ALL of my extremely difficult maths homework”
The video:
LIKE SERIOUSLY HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MOTIVATED TO DO SHIT WHEN PEOPLE HAVE GENUINELY GOOD POINTS AS TO WHY NOT TO
Literally me right now. I stress out constantly when I know I can do better in a subject but my grade just doesn't go up especially with geometry, the one grade that's not an A. I've had many sleepless nights trying to map put how I can get everything done in time. There's always something else to be done even when's school over and at this point I just feel burntout. The message at the end really helps.
2:55 oh my GOD i finally know why i crashed so hard mentally after finishing a year of school while working full time! it was one of the most stressful times of my life (having to extend my graduation date again, losing my car and belongings in a fire, having no days off for 6 months) thank you for putting it to words
6:50 was a really good clarification for a student currently having breakdowns over gcses thank you T_T
i relate to this so much good grief. just got diagnosed with adhd last week (one week before my y12 exams) and it probably explains why i had a 3 month period during my A levels where i did nothing for 3 months(!!).
0:07 hit hard...
hit hard literally
oh it sure did
My experience (or its closest equivalent anyway) of taking the ACT twice in the US: Coasted through school all my life. 4.0 GPA, honors classes up the wazoo, concurrent enrollment classes, GT classes, AP classes. Gets to Junior year of high school. Doesn't study for the ACT because fuck knows why (i suspect ADHD). Gets actually a pretty good score on the first go. 25 (out of 36). Retakes it (costs $100 btw). and doesnt study again because fml ig. Gets a 27. Still pretty good (so im told). Cant qualify for full ride scholarships in most colleges because a 27 is really not that great apparently. Suffers a mental breakdown where I'm diagnosed with MDD and GAD by a therapist my senior year. Manage to make it with other scholarships and full time work into a cheap local college. And no one has ever cared about that score again.
Yup. Not relatable in the slightest.
i just made two new friends and learned something new about my mental state, very good day, thank you :3
STOP EXPLODING THEM
the only thing that's genuinely dragging me down is math(I really cant do math:( ), anything else im particularly above average.
As someone being swamped with Highschool rn, this really helps.
Thanks!
my mother has found that every time i have a big exam month/week i end up getting sick most likely out of the stress. but this is odd because i’ve gotten a lot better at managing my stress but i still got sick this past week when my “finals” came about! i’m wondering if i somehow conditioned my body to get sick amidst testing weeks. regardless, this video is great. loved watching it and it made me think about my own circumstances in a way!
i did homework like twice ever, set 3 for all subjects. dropped out right before gcses started ( during mocks ) then passed english and got a 3 in maths in college and called it for education entirely because i aint about that.
i mean i dropped out because i was in panic mode being told that the world would spontaneously blow up if i didnt get my GCSEs- and the more they would shove me into thinking about GCSEs the more i didnt want to do them. Avoiding the great decider of the rest of your life ( stalling ) was much more appealing. i dont know why i thought that.
well guh im sat teaching myself my own passions and still education is chasing me because nobody who wears suits n ties and stuff will recognize that in order to work in a game development / 3d design field, you have to first know how to do those and cant just spontaneously know the information by wasting the next 2 years of your life doing a maths course and however many courses id be forced to do because of the rule that to be a legitimate legal student you need a certain amount of hours of teaching time.
i dont know if im even talking english here- my ability to write is awful and im hoping its at least able to be read.
in the last 2 months ive taught myself more than 10 times what i learned in the span of a year in college but to literally everyone else im just "wasting time at the computer playing games". ive tried literally physically dragging people through the things im doing- metaphorically shoving their face into the monitor and yelling "SEE, its not PLAYING GAMES, im MAKING THEM" to no avail. i get the same old "well you cant do this forever", while they try to pry me away from this path and send me into some crazy job that i wont be able to manage over a week of.
diagnosed tistic by the way, and no, highschool did not believe my records and refused them upon being re-given to them during my dropout stage.
i pray for the people who go through anguish doing things theyre mentally never going to be prepped for just because 90 percent of all life refuses to listen to what they say at all times forever.
edit(clap clap)
(I LOVE YOUR VIDEO'S OWIE THIS ISN'T AN ATTACK) I always hear about the ND gifted kid phenomenon but literally no one who was academically a bit shit admits it online which I'm not gonna lie makes me feel pretty isolated as an ADHD kid who just passed GCSEs. I did well in them, but it took LOADS of extra work and stress and I was not expected to do well at all for most of my life. I wish more people shared the struggle of never having been good at any of the 'money making' subjects in primary school. I was quite good at english, good at art. but my maths and sciences were all bad for most of my life up until GCSEs when I managed to get through them and pass. Now that I've started my A levels and still have no idea what I want to do, I feel myself nearing an existential crisis about it. Your video does help though, even though the experience is different because I relate to some of the results- I'm pretty certain I have anxiety, and it helps to know I might be alright after all my education, even if I don't know where I'll end up.
I love this orange cat :D
Honestly for me I only burned out when covid came and I stopped attending classes in person. I did not realise how important that was, as even though first year I skipped plenty of 9am's (I went out a little too much), I attended most classes. I think I didnt burn out for my GCSE's because I had other things going on, and didnt feel overwhelmed with having to revise for too many subjects because I wasn't revising any, and did not care enough to worry about it.
7:37 👏
This channel made me realize i had "STRONG EVIDENCE FOR AUTISIM", and why I also am extremly stressed not just in school but church also. Dosnt help most days i'm either guilted or forced to go into church crying the whole way there.
Your animation, editing skills and jokes are top tier 👌🏻
holy shart this is SO relatable. I'm undiagnosed but I think I'm neurodivergent in some way (ASD? ADHD? AuDHD idk) and high school is taking a toll on me :(
Covid messed me up and now I procrastinate every day, how can i lock in
👏👏
I was actually always excited to start a new semester of school, no matter what grade I was in, even college. But then everything else would pile on, the people and the overestimation ere the worst to me. If I could just do class in a quite dark comfy room, that would've made it all much easier.
I was great in every class, but math. So I didn't get put into any gifted programs, kinda glad I didn't. The British GCSEs sound like the American SATs, except most of us know they don't matter. "Oh it's SAT week? I'll try my best, but who cares anyways."
Also, I feel AP classes were mostly a scam. It's taking harder HS classes where sometimes they give you college credits. Just dual enroll at college, it's much better.
This video reminded me that ad blockers actually hurt creators, because creators on youtube get ad revenue from their videos.
I had my collapse at the beginning of ninth grade, *SO* glad I clawed my way back up before anything too important.
Anyway, I scored 194 on the raads-r test, thought it must have been wrong, took it again, and got 202.
7:55 👏👏
How is a high school kid even allowed to do 13 different subjects in school
In most Scottish schools its so much more relaxed, in only had take 7 exams (11 if you count the different 'papers') and you could only do more if you STRONGLY insisted and had good reputation with the teachers. (stuff like religious studies and PE didn't have an exams either)
That song at the end is waaaaay to on point for me.
I RELATE SO HARD TO THIS
Except for the 24 exams. I thought my country was bad but goodness gracious I’d rather die
Premiere at 12AM is crazy
It's 22:00 in UTC
@@lilyydotdevok??
@@Purplish. probably just pointing out that timezones exist
@@That1Shroom I am aware that the sun is not in the exact same spot for everyone everywhere lol
The first video I saw of you
And I simply adored your style and storytelling
However I can also really relate to the stress of academic success
I broke under it during my a levels and quit school before I could finish them
That last sentence
CLAP MY HANDS
Yeah, this is relatable. I'm unevaluated, but people in my family who ARE diagnosed autistic, speculate that I may be autistic myself, and the explanation for autistic burn out fit me to a tee.
Made it through middle school through shifting between home and private schools, lost all my friends at the time when the private school I went to shut down and I had to go back to homeschool, and the result was me losing all motivation to the point of flunking out due to inactivity in my first year of high school.
I just stopped working for the rest of my teenage life, and am only now recovering from said burn out now that I'm in my 20s and actually am putting in effort to get my life together.
I’m autistic and doing my A levels at the moment. Idk what possessed me to do 4 instead of the bare minimum but good choices are apparently not my thing. I just bombed my first set of mocks thanks to the resulting melted goop in my skull instead of a brain from doing GCSEs while in autistic burnout (-100/10 experience btw) and I can’t attend full weeks of school like my classmates 😞 Thankfully my school has pretty good accommodations for me.
It’s nice seeing someone who pulled through and is doing relatively ok, because I might not get into university at this rate despite really wanting to go. Kinda reminds me that I won’t dissipate into thin air if I don’t follow the exact path I want to take.
Look Gary there I am THERE I AM!!!!!!
funny seeing this at the same time as my A.D.D ass just did horribly on my year 12 end of years after getting mostly A's in my GCSE's
truthfully I have no idea how I was so hardworking during those times, right now working feels like falling down stairs, but not working feels like drowning underwater. I think I'm cooked
Well isn't this a coincidental time for this to come out (: I've literally just started doing my GCSE exams and I am so worried that I'm going to do terribly because throughout my entire life i've been taught "Don't worry about exams, they're just a measure of progress" and now that view is causing me to never study and be overly calm about the exams which is making me worried that I will completely flop them but it's not like I can study because as a "gifted kid" I have never needed to study my entire life so even if I try to study, I'll have no idea what I'm doing and it most likely will not help me in the slightest...
But if my mocks are anything to go off of I think I'll be fine.
In Australia, dropping out and becoming a tradie is almost a rite of passage for people with low academic skills. so.. there's that. I could just drop out and work as a tradie.. or work as a groundsman somewhere