Dude are you my twin?!? I have add so it is hard sometimes to fit or know when I should talk into groups but I’ve had people say to me that I’m such a cool person 1 on 1 but I never seemed that way with other people around
I thought there weren't many like me...l am usually okay one to one, but absolutely can't get in a word in group conversations. Glad to know l am not alone...😅
Thank you Dave, this is a nuance that I've been trying to figure out for years, one on one, I've almost always found effortless, but in groups, I often find people ignore me or bulldoze over me when I'm saying something. I'm going to try your tips! :)
Good point.. Im a good extrovert in individual conversation.. But when it comes to group..im like a mute person..i cant even talk or crack a joke like the others do.. when you are too silent.. you are not at all considered or important.. Its a hard way but need to work on myself
i throw in just one more step: engage other people - acknowledge the speaker etc and maybe even make a comment but then check in with someone who seems to be checking out.
This was the most helpful video I’ve ever came across. I always used to stay out of groups cuz I didn’t have anything interesting to say to them but now I have the trick. Just go in there and react positively to the people talking. The would think you’re interested and they’ll share more with you. This is a lot helpful compared to just thinking of something to say an completely zoning out and ultimately being kicked out.
I dont think it has to be only positive things, but you can express your opinion about the things they say, whether you agree / disagree, whether you think it is interesting, and more.
I was the kid who didn’t do any work in the group and I still am. It’s not that I’m an asshole or that I want to give my classmates the rest of the work it’s just that I’m an anti social person who’s terrible with working and talking with people. I prefer doing things at my own pace.
To this one time yeah I was playing cards with a new group of people, and they all super tight knit except for me cuz I’m new to the place, and suddenly two of them started scrumming about and then everyone joined in. Cuz I was new I just sat there, and that’s when I knew I needed this
Just from experience, I often consciously make an effort react to people and what they’re saying, but now (thanks to COVID) in school we have to stay in our form rooms, and most of my friends are in other forms, so instead I usually talk with these two other peeps. The one is really nice and we get along well, but the other just literally never makes eye contact with me when she’s speaking, she only looks at the other girl. I react and say things, but she still doesn’t look at me, and then sometimes, and this ticks me off as well, when I’m saying something, she’ll just randomly interrupt me and talk about something else. It’s so demotivating to speak to someone like that, I don’t even know why she’s like that, maybe she doesn’t like me, honestly I don’t know. I’m not really such a shy person, but I’ve started avoiding talking with them because that girl just spoils the mood for me. Maybe she’s cool, I dunno, if she decides to engage with me then maybe one day I will know lmao
I also think that she doesn't like you, sorry to write that :( You should stop contacting her and focus on people who treat you well. You deserve that. I think she reacts really unfriendly and incorrect. It is ok to not like somebody, but it is not okay to treat people disrespectfully.
@@christinag9948 Ah no worries, and thanks :) I think you're right, I guess she didn't like me much which is cool like you say, not everyone's meant to be friends. We don't hang out anymore (I still talk to the other girl, thankfully they're not together all the time lol, and the restrictions have relaxed a bit), and yeah it's chill. Anyways, thanks again :p I appreciate your message, I hope you're having a nice day!
@@jeffs_r_us7166 You're welcome Jeffs_R_Us :) you are a nice person and you deserve nice people around you ;-) remember that. Have a nice day too, thank you! :)
i thank you. I am really struggling with making friends at my masters course. I never had difficulty making friends before, but I guess I have got social anxiety post lockdown.
In my school i wanted a friend group, but they started to smoke and stuff, i want to have a healthy lifestyle, workout and do not do theese bad things, but when im not doing what they are doing i kinda cant be in the friend group
That’s not entirely true. Some people just don’t wanna talk to you no matter that. If they don’t know you , or barely know you , they will automatically shut their interest off 100 percent . It’s bs but it does happen . I’ve made a lot of friends by randomly walking up to people . But I’ve had to bust my ass sometimes in groups because either a rude woman or a weird look from some people as if I’m gonna like ask them “ hey guys wanna here what video games I like to play “ ahah . I’m not that dude. I’m actually a good looking dude. But i realized people judge so much it don’t matter how good looking you are or how well you talk . If people don’t know you or don’t know you well enough , be prepared for them to either walk away or stay dormant when it comes to conversations. At that point , don’t cuss them out or get mad cause it’ll make you look even worse . Or the classic thing that has happened to me the people in the group will just say “ mhm “ “ oh “ or “ yup” looking away in fear like they don’t know how to speak to a another human . Fuck those people straight up . I’ve taken woman from men in the group because they found it attractive that I had the balls to come up and talk to them . But other times it’s failed horribly and in the end I was blaming myself . It ruined my confidence but trust me it’s just not everyone is a good individual. Some are jackasses and super judgmental and it’s best you don’t know them anyway . It can be tough , but if they completely ignore you , it’s best to say . “ hey well I just wanted to introduce myself , I’m always down to get to know new people “. Then walk away with pride .
Ok so when I'm talking w my friends online I'm really intrested in the person who is talking but i just don't find words to put up when I reply to them, like I think what if that sounds dumb or smth 😭 help me
I'm already doing this at real life group conversation and this really helps. But what I'm more interested in is how to show the same feedback in online group chat, since the online interaction is very limited compared to real life. Any tips for that?
I will try this and tell you if it works. 2023-02-16 is the date of change and I will the one who get more attention in the group conversation. just wait for me
I usually talk a lot one on one, but in a group ,i just keep quiet. This is indeed very good tip. I will try this.
Dude are you my twin?!? I have add so it is hard sometimes to fit or know when I should talk into groups but I’ve had people say to me that I’m such a cool person 1 on 1 but I never seemed that way with other people around
Same
Saaaaaaaame
So truuuue
SAME
I always get ignored in group conversations lol... I'll try this! Being in the moment is crucial, I tend to overthink social situations.
did u try this?
@@limo2962 I think they killed him.
@@beans6681 God... Just what kind of "group conversation" did he get involved to...
Time to respond bru
Rest in peace OP
Someone in group conversation :- _speaks about something I have never heard about_
Me ( _with a puzzled reaction_ ) :- Hmm. Yes, that's great.
lmaooooo ive never related to a comment more
I thought there weren't many like me...l am usually okay one to one, but absolutely can't get in a word in group conversations. Glad to know l am not alone...😅
That’s really good advice because one on one is easy but multiple people is hard. Thanks for the advice
Thank you Dave, this is a nuance that I've been trying to figure out for years, one on one, I've almost always found effortless, but in groups, I often find people ignore me or bulldoze over me when I'm saying something. I'm going to try your tips! :)
Great tip that completely has worked for me in the past--that is, when I'm not in my head and self-conscious!
Good point..
Im a good extrovert in individual conversation..
But when it comes to group..im like a mute person..i cant even talk or crack a joke like the others do.. when you are too silent.. you are not at all considered or important..
Its a hard way but need to work on myself
i throw in just one more step: engage other people - acknowledge the speaker etc and maybe even make a comment but then check in with someone who seems to be checking out.
This was the most helpful video I’ve ever came across. I always used to stay out of groups cuz I didn’t have anything interesting to say to them but now I have the trick. Just go in there and react positively to the people talking. The would think you’re interested and they’ll share more with you. This is a lot helpful compared to just thinking of something to say an completely zoning out and ultimately being kicked out.
I dont think it has to be only positive things, but you can express your opinion about the things they say, whether you agree / disagree, whether you think it is interesting, and more.
I was the kid who didn’t do any work in the group and I still am. It’s not that I’m an asshole or that I want to give my classmates the rest of the work it’s just that I’m an anti social person who’s terrible with working and talking with people. I prefer doing things at my own pace.
antisocial means a weak social skill set that can be developed imo
@@grawakendream8980 But some people just prefer it that way.
To this one time yeah I was playing cards with a new group of people, and they all super tight knit except for me cuz I’m new to the place, and suddenly two of them started scrumming about and then everyone joined in. Cuz I was new I just sat there, and that’s when I knew I needed this
I totally agree with you. We must pay attention to what others are saying, listening and reacting.
Just from experience, I often consciously make an effort react to people and what they’re saying, but now (thanks to COVID) in school we have to stay in our form rooms, and most of my friends are in other forms, so instead I usually talk with these two other peeps. The one is really nice and we get along well, but the other just literally never makes eye contact with me when she’s speaking, she only looks at the other girl. I react and say things, but she still doesn’t look at me, and then sometimes, and this ticks me off as well, when I’m saying something, she’ll just randomly interrupt me and talk about something else. It’s so demotivating to speak to someone like that, I don’t even know why she’s like that, maybe she doesn’t like me, honestly I don’t know. I’m not really such a shy person, but I’ve started avoiding talking with them because that girl just spoils the mood for me. Maybe she’s cool, I dunno, if she decides to engage with me then maybe one day I will know lmao
I also think that she doesn't like you, sorry to write that :( You should stop contacting her and focus on people who treat you well. You deserve that. I think she reacts really unfriendly and incorrect. It is ok to not like somebody, but it is not okay to treat people disrespectfully.
@@christinag9948 Ah no worries, and thanks :) I think you're right, I guess she didn't like me much which is cool like you say, not everyone's meant to be friends. We don't hang out anymore (I still talk to the other girl, thankfully they're not together all the time lol, and the restrictions have relaxed a bit), and yeah it's chill. Anyways, thanks again :p I appreciate your message, I hope you're having a nice day!
@@jeffs_r_us7166 You're welcome Jeffs_R_Us :) you are a nice person and you deserve nice people around you ;-) remember that. Have a nice day too, thank you! :)
Yeah I’ve experienced things like that before, just yeah it’s okay to leave the group if it makes u feel sad and bad
@Ethereal Yeah, man it really sucks but hey I'm glad you could step away! :)
First video that actually helped me, thank you very much :)
I often find myself in a group conversation not talking at all, I'll try this .
Ohh this is sweet. More reward for less effort and I'm already very expressive, I'll try this more!
Your video's are so valuable, David! They break down something big and scary (for the socially introverted) into parts that make sense.
This is eureka, big thanks to u bro
What you've said now is really smart
This is not necessarily true. I've seen many socially selfish people who still get most of the attention.
i thank you. I am really struggling with making friends at my masters course. I never had difficulty making friends before, but I guess I have got social anxiety post lockdown.
Fantastic tip. Use empathy.
Kindly tell me the tip
I really don't know how to fit in social gc its too hard for me
In my school i wanted a friend group, but they started to smoke and stuff, i want to have a healthy lifestyle, workout and do not do theese bad things, but when im not doing what they are doing i kinda cant be in the friend group
I would like to use this trick since it sounded very convincing and very helpful. Thank u very much bro🙏
That’s not entirely true. Some people just don’t wanna talk to you no matter that. If they don’t know you , or barely know you , they will automatically shut their interest off 100 percent . It’s bs but it does happen . I’ve made a lot of friends by randomly walking up to people . But I’ve had to bust my ass sometimes in groups because either a rude woman or a weird look from some people as if I’m gonna like ask them “ hey guys wanna here what video games I like to play “ ahah . I’m not that dude. I’m actually a good looking dude. But i realized people judge so much it don’t matter how good looking you are or how well you talk . If people don’t know you or don’t know you well enough , be prepared for them to either walk away or stay dormant when it comes to conversations. At that point , don’t cuss them out or get mad cause it’ll make you look even worse . Or the classic thing that has happened to me the people in the group will just say “ mhm “ “ oh “ or “ yup” looking away in fear like they don’t know how to speak to a another human . Fuck those people straight up . I’ve taken woman from men in the group because they found it attractive that I had the balls to come up and talk to them . But other times it’s failed horribly and in the end I was blaming myself . It ruined my confidence but trust me it’s just not everyone is a good individual. Some are jackasses and super judgmental and it’s best you don’t know them anyway . It can be tough , but if they completely ignore you , it’s best to say . “ hey well I just wanted to introduce myself , I’m always down to get to know new people “. Then walk away with pride .
Ok so when I'm talking w my friends online I'm really intrested in the person who is talking but i just don't find words to put up when I reply to them, like I think what if that sounds dumb or smth 😭 help me
Same let's be friends
@@impalanotaming suree bestiee
This is the exact same to me.Can we be friends?
This is me. I can’t articulate what I wanna say😭
Oh thanks so much! It feels sometimes so exhausting to follow all those rules about communication
i can't thank you enough dave
Wow thanks bro thats awesome
Well said!
UR A GENIOUS how have i never figured it out earlier ?
Basically get them to sell themselves to you.. you don’t have to sell yourself to them.
I'm already doing this at real life group conversation and this really helps. But what I'm more interested in is how to show the same feedback in online group chat, since the online interaction is very limited compared to real life. Any tips for that?
Hey, thank you this advice helped me :)
Yeah, but if I do try to act engaged in a group, everyone else's attention goes to someone else and never me at all
Ok
Thank you!
Great tip!
this is a rlly interesting idea im excited to try
Will try , finally somthing logical.
Thanks for the tip!
Nice advices man thanks
I’ve been listening and nodding in group conversations all my life lol, idk if it really makes a difference
Thnx man
Genius!
This is so true, holy crap lol.
love your videos
thanks
thats what i do but still i feel left out
Doesn't work in a car
David you email me regularly
I love you
Your content is gold keep it on
How do I even join a conversation 😭😭
Just join them
Why are you so insistent that the group must converse? Aren't you trying to force something that is not natural?
I will try this and tell you if it works. 2023-02-16 is the date of change and I will the one who get more attention in the group conversation. just wait for me
Hey