A real hoarder can think of a million reasons to keep the stuff because they are genuinely afraid to let it go. I think you are so brave, to feel it and still let so much of it go! You are such a blessing ❤❤
Thank you for addressing the different levels of hoarding with defined definitions. What I'm feeling people are getting clutter and hoarding mixed. Clutter a person can go out to the garage, clean it up in a couple of day get rid of tons of stuff and move on to the next project. Personally, I do not understand minimalist, have seen people get rid of almost everything to the point they are sitting and sleeping on the floor. I feel that is a disorder of NOT being able to make an attachment to anything, perhaps it was just a stunt. What I do want to say you have done a fantastic job and have brought to the forefront what hoarding FEELS like. You brought me to tears.
Thank you so much, you are so incredibly right! You do bring up a good point, something I never thought about before. Extreme minimalism to the point of sleeping on the floor. I saw that and thought that was so extreme but if they’re happy, to each their own. But what if they are not happy and it’s actually dissociation or detachment? Now we are enter another realm of mental disorders. Could be another form of a coping mechanism to self soothe unprocessed trauma. Very interesting point my friend ❤️
IMO, it all depends on how you feel about the clutter you have. Hoarding is linked to the inability to decide due to the value of the item to the owner. Hoarding normally starts from the lack of time getting through the task of working on clutter due to having so many items plus the difficulty of deciding due to the value. The buildup of clutter, IMO, becomes hoarding over time. I have a ton of clutter myself (I have a ton of books). They may be in neat piles but the fact that I don't want to get rid of them because "I want to read them and then resell them someday" despite reading other books is the problem. The act of doing so is what leads to my hoarding since I buy faster than what I discard. I've been watching this channel for more motivation to let go by giving it away (I grew up without much of an allowance so it's hard to let go. It feels like a waste).
There are extremes on both sides however minimalist people have learned that you don't need much things to survive and be happy and they also have the planet in mind and the financial aspect of it too. Most minimalist are happy with their lifestyle while true holders usually are not and feel embarrassed. I became a minimalist (not extreme) after my mom passed and I was stuck with all her junk, I just don't want to leave that burden on my kids.
YES! clutter + hoarding -- good differentation! And I also like what you were saying, Ms. Heart, about the ease of decluttering as well as amount of stuff. Thanks for a great video!
You have truly shown "A Hoarder's Heart" in this video. Your empathy for others who struggle is unmistakable, and you are helping so many more people than you know. Bravo, Miss Heart. ❤
Great video. I’m the complete opposite of a hoarder (not by choice) and it’s also a real, tangible mental disorder. Clutter makes my anxiety so bad that I find it hard to hold onto ANYTHING that I don’t use on a daily basis. I’m constantly taking mental inventory of every drawer, closet, shelf, basket, bin, etc. and getting rid of anything I don’t need. I didn’t choose to be this way any more than you did… It’s just how my anxiety manifests itself. I find it fascinating how much alike we are, but at the same time, so completely different!
Taking a mental inventory of everything you own must be exhausting! Sounds like you are doing a good job of getting rid of things that cause the anxiety though xxx
I’m the same way I used to count how many items I had I definitely got rid of things I should’ve held onto, for me it needs to be organized, I used to love having everything organized in eyesight but I’ve realized having it organized behind closed doors helps my anxiety, so I can’t see it and don’t immediately think about it or get urge to mess with it
I bet you could still benefit from her tips: baby steps, doing what still feels safe, using a scale of 1 to 10 for how much something triggers your anxiety... As well as therapy or emotional work to identify the root of the trigger. Wishing you luck getting to a healthier relationship with stuff. ❤
Thank you for clearing this up. People are so flippant using medical terms when they have no idea what they’re talking about. 💞 Love you and your channel!
Very well said. I am not a minimalist but I have never been a hoarder either. I can be disorganized but I don´t feel anxiety letting things go so I think redefining the scale is very important. People with hoarding disorder are not simply disorganized and disorganized people are not automatically hoarders.
Most if not all disorders in the DSM have an initial criterion that so many people ignore: some sort of significant impairment in a person's life (social, work, health etc.). The hoarding disorder descriptions I'm finding online all have this. I'm not seeing levels of hoarding, though - those may be on different, less technical websites. For example: "Specific symptoms for a hoarding diagnosis include (American Psychiatric Association, 2013): • Persistent difficulty discarding or parting with possessions, regardless of their actual value. • This difficulty is due to a perceived need to save the items and to the distress associated with discarding them. • The difficulty discarding possessions results in the accumulation of possessions that congest and clutter active living areas and substantially compromises their intended use. If living areas are uncluttered, it is only because of the interventions of third parties (e.g., family members, cleaners, or the authorities). The hoarding causes major distress or problems in social, work or other important areas of functions (including maintaining a safe environment for self and others)." (from the American Psychiatric Association website) My own experience with a disability is that people go straight to the checklists/levels and skip the part where there must be significant impairment in one or more areas of daily living, and so they apply labels to themselves (or others) that aren't warranted. It's really common, and, when they get told those labels don't apply to them, they typically lose interest entirely. At any rate, I think the experts have your back. It's just everyone else.
Thank you so much for sharing this with everyone! When I hear or see people talking about hoarding disorder, even the hoarding convention I went to who helped social workers with hoarding situations, they always use the “Hoarder Levels 1-5.” Which I understand because it’s a great tool! We just need to bring these medical points more mainstream 🙏🏼💜🙏🏼💜🙏🏼💜
As a psychologist, the criterion of "significant impact/impairment on daily functioning" is the most important criterion in diagnosis. Do not worry, the experts know. Laymans do struggle to recognise that difference and do overuse these terms. Hopefully your awareness helps to combat that. You're doing great ❤
Thanks for addressing this... I've had well-meaning friends say, "Give me an hour... I'll clear your place OUT..." I've told them (through panicked eyes & with a shaking voice)... "Oh... Then, nevermind... It's not that easy for me..." Some understand that it's emotional, most DON'T...
I've watched your journey since first video and I am so very amazed that you have decluttered as much as you have and have both recognized that you have hoarding disorder, and have done the work mentally spiritually and physically to recover .... You are the person who can speak to us about hoarding disorder as well as how someone with this disorder feels about becoming a total minimalist 🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄
I agree with you, it's so so hard! I took a box of things to my charity shop today, and i rescued two books out of it before i let it go. That was 8 hours ago, and I've been thinking about that box ever since.... ! I have to remind myself its not my stuff anymore, and I wasn't using it. BTW these are books I've had for 14 years and never read, but .... still thinking about them!
@@snorlaxjenjust seen this and want to say well done! Have had a few similar 24 hours and always find it hard to come back from the charity shop without anything newly purchased so well done on letting it all go!
This is exactly it. I watched the minimalists and felt pressured to get rid of everything and like a bad person when I couldn't. And yeah I got rid of things I shouldn't have because of that. Then of course ended up with more things trying to get some of the items back.
Oh how I felt your message in my heart!! Yes, letting go of something too early only regresses us. We know that now so we don’t put that unnecessary pressure on ourselves ❤️🙏🏼❤️ You are doing amazing my friend, I will always cheer you on!!
Thank you for this video. I felt your emotions. My teenage daughter began hoarding more than 10 years ago when she was in kindergarten. Over the years to watch her go into panic attacks and long term depression and internal meltdowns at not only needing to keep food wrappers but also not being able to obtain enough things to surround her space with was heartbreaking for both of us. She struggles both with the need to have more items surrounding her and the desire to make it stop but being unable to. She’s been in therapy the entire time and only two years ago was she able to let go of clothes she’d grown out of 7 years ago. I don’t fully understand even though I try which is why I watch your channel. I’m so proud of her but I feel for her so much also. Thank you for your channel. You’re helping a small family understand each other better and you’re helping me be a better mom.
Your comment really made me want to cry, my daughter just wants to buy things, but never lets anything go. Sending you a big hug, you are doing all you can and she is trying to work it out by being in therapy xxx I really wish you all success :)
@@judithyoung3 it is really hard to talk about. I cried writing the comment. Good luck on your journey also. Just being a parent that’s aware must bring our children some comfort in times they feel out of control.
@@jennrae67 I lost my son in 2020, he was 2 days short of his 28th birthday. I am struggling with his belongings, even during and after a house move last year. He had a very high emotional attachment to everything, probably inherited from my side of the family (we grew up with very little). My daughter is now 19, but has been collecting since a very early age, and yet, has no attachment to family memorabilia/history. LOL
This is a little random, but I was thinking during some of the B roll in this video that maybe you can display your ribbon collection on your basement craft area wall with horizontal dowel rods. The way you organize your clothes by color is so artistic and beautiful-- imagine how you can sort your ribbon with all of those colors and patterns and textures!
You are the best Mel, bless you much xoxo. I agree with everything you say! From what I could bare to watch of that video, I didn't feel like they really understood hoarding disorder. Their focus was more on the stuff and numbers of things as opposed to the mental disorder side. I feel that those attitudes, trivialises the complexities and difficulties that those with hoarding disorder go through. The markers that medical professionals use to define the different levels also only focus on the physical aspect and very little on the mental & emotional attitudes. I pray that the right people find this video and help you to continue to be that voice for people with hoarding disorder. WONDERFUL video 🌺🌺🌺
Yes, I think people over- simplify when they say "I am a hoarder "when really what they have is a cluttered garage (maybe a very cluttered garage), ignoring the whole emotional component and mental component. Defining the hoarding levels only by the amount of stuff a person has, discounts the disorder. It does not acknowledge a person's viewpoint of why they have the hoard and what purpose the hoard serves for them, let alone give them practice in learning how to manage the mental disorder. Skipping over that vital step in a simple "just get rid of it" approach will just cause the person to hoard again, because the uncomfortable emotional and physical feelings have not been addressed properly over time. No one expects a person with an eating disorder to just be given a diet or a person with OCD to be told "don't worry, don't engage in your behaviors anymore". Change takes help and practice if it is a true mental disorder. A messy person can just hire someone to clean and be just fine with them discarding things. You are right.
I actually watched this episode and because I have been watching you for a few years I sat there thinking exactly what you said. They have missed the letting go/emotions aspects. When I started decluttering my house it was around a level 2-3 in clutter, this was due to buying stuff I didn't need and having a small home, not that there was any attachment to most of it and was easily able to let it go. I love these videos and I love how you look at the positives as well as negatives without being bitchy or rude x
You are a much nicer person than I am. I frankly can't watch more than a few minutes of Those Guys without getting angry at their tone & sense of superiority. I won't get into details here (I could rant for PAGES & PAGES), but honestly? I think that their sort of minimalism is self-absorbed, unhealthy, and promotes extremist, unbalanced, and unachievable goals. /exit rant mode/ I don't have that reaction to organizers like Marie Kondo. I'm fine with moderate minimalists (even though I'm not personally a minimalist & don't find their channels interesting). I think your patient, reflective approach is healthy & achievable both for recovering hoarders & neuro-divergent people in general.
Thank you for making this video. I am not a hoarder-but have a hard time getting rid of things. You're videos have made it easier. I didn't know there were levels and when you say my nervous system could or could not handle something-you identified what I was feeling when I would go through a box. Thank you for sharing (this videos and all of the others). Hugs!
Thank you for constantly educating people with and without hoarding disorder. As you have said, and I know The Minimalists too, they meant well but mental disorders are thrown at everyone these days very carelessly. Not to say that their suffering isn't valid. But the whys and the hows are different. For people with mental disorder, healing is a hard fight of sweat and blood. For people who have it similar, but less "bad", it's a bumpy road. And we are happy that that is for them! Because we never want anyone else to go through the things we have to. But also, please don't take away our pain and suffering either. And never stop posting. Make the world hear your voice. ♥
Thank you again for expressing the real struggle that hoarders face. If it was as simple as just getting rid of stuff, we could all be minimalists. It's all about the emotional attachment to objects and the way they help us cope with whatever has happened, or is happening to us. It's so much more complex than the items themselves. Thanks again xx
I worked in a “corporate” job for many years. My escape was sewing, painting & crafting. Doing projects was what I would look forward to. And I was good. When I retired many years ago.. my joy was in repurposing & creating. Sold items that fattened my retirement fund which has made today my ability to live comfortably. I’ve never purchased “new” items with the exception of food and home products. My “hobbies” make me happy & comforted. I know full well that the vast amount of items I have “hoarded.. both new or collected.. are what keeps me going after my husband died of ALS, Lou Gehrig’s disease… was diagnosed and past away 7 months later. He loved crafting & repurposing as much as I did.. so with the hoard I have will be with me forever. As long as the house is clean & spotless.. what’s in my 3 craft rooms & 3 car garage will stay. I know there are just as many who are ok with as those who aren’t. Thanks for reading and love to all💖
I've become hooked on your video's due to their genuine and educational nature, and of course the satisfying effect of seeing a space transform into something more functional and beautiful. Despite not being a hoarder myself, I struggle with clutter due to overwhelm and disorganization, and each time I watch a video of yours, I feel inspired to improve one of my spaces. That in turn inspires my husband. Last week, my husband parked the car inside our garage. Nothing unusual you may think, except it took us 3 years to get to the point where this was possible, and it was a big moment!
Dude I had to stop watching them after an episode where they said people shouldn’t take meds for their anxiety. I was like, bro I’d off myself if I didn’t have my meds but ok? 🙄They’re ignorant AF.
I saw that show and completely agree with you. I really appreciate you making this video. It is sad when people use terms so loosely without knowing the true meaning of them.
I would like to thank you for helping me to understand a little about hoarding disorder. I'm not a hoarder but one of my sisters has always struggled and I always thought of her as lazy and dirty until I found you. You have helped me be a kinder and nicer sister. I would go to her house and clean and throw things out without talking to her about how she felt. There is nothing wrong with my sister either. She is kind and loving and would move the world to help me if I needed anything. I didn't understand and I still don't really but today I see her a lot differently than I used to.
Miss Heart ❤️ you explain each and every emotion and step of this journey so well. I know it’s from your experience which is why you have so much compassion and kindness and you give so much encouragement and motivation to us all no matter how small our steps are. Thank you so much for being the wonderful person you are. Have a great week. Mary, Joes wife 🙇♀️👏👍💪🙏💐🐈
Thank you for this. I had to unsubscribe to all of their content because it became so invalidating. Thank you for your vulnerable and honest approach. You are such a bright light!
You are such a wonderful strong and amazing woman. My daughter suffered an eating disorder and I agree with how it hurts when others say things like; “ I wish I had anorexia so I could loose weight” ….. or anyone who was slim was labeled as “anorexic” the complete mental distress that that accompanies any mental disorder is enormous and frankly at times life threatening. Your courage and compassion is stronger than your hoarding disorder and you are overcoming it with such grace. My daughter is now recovered and also is looking to help others in her own way. My experience with assisting her recover has taught me to be more compassionate with anyone who struggles mentally and finding your channel on UA-cam has been amazing. You self soothing talks replay in my head whenever I struggle mentally and I wish I could just hug you and say “thank you for all you do”
Interesting. I feel the term thrown around as depression sometimes are. Feeling down and saying you are depressed/feeling depressed. Likewise you can feel down and struggle with taking action but still being able to Take action etc.
This was a stellar video. My favorite part of your channel is that you go into explanations of hoarding disorder and make those explanations plain, simple, and accessible for most people to understand, no matter whether or not they've been or known a hoarder. The differentiation of ability to let things go vs. quantity of things is hugely important, and I would love to see more videos like this where you take a dive into these important topics. I always loved how you explained ADHD and hoarding's intersection because I never would have thought of that before. Please keep up the good work and send love to Pepper!
You make such a good point. I saw this exact minimalist video and although I am a minimalist and not a hoarder, I actually recognized what you're saying bothered you. It bothered me, too. Immediately I thought, "no this isn't right." So, I'm glad you said something. They are nice guys so hopefully they will reach out.
I have my hoarding disorder under control now.. but I have 65000 pounds worth of useless things in my attic ! I am now working out how to sell them all !
I like your idea of the hoarding scale to take account of the emotions, that would be helpful. I'd also like to include additional alternative pictures to the hoarding scale, of organized hoarding. Because my home never looks like even a level one, it's all organized in containers and furniture and stacked neatly (or neat-ish, at any rate). The current hoarding scale pictures don't apply to me at all. Yet I have a room filled floor to ceiling with a channel down the side to get to the useable space at the end. I have stuff stored on the stairs because there's nowhere else to put it. I don't hoard obvious trash and there's no pest control issues or biohazards, but I do see the potential in things others would discard as trash, keeping things like pretty sweet wrappers and I struggle to let anything go. I have far too much stuff overall. It's essentially being stored in my home, unused.
Exactly, they are not hoarders! Just because you have to much stuff does not mean you are a hoarder. There has to be a mental issue with not being able to give it away! I saw this video. I realized they did not know what they were talking about. They are NOT hoarders! I was really upset by their nonchalant attitude.
You often comment about how you've "done the (emotional) work" to get where you are. I love that you are honest about therapy. This makes you and your situation far more relatable and realistic. I think people who click on decluttering videos are often just so conditioned to expect a "big reveal" at the end that they don't understand how hard the journey can be. True hoarding can't be "solved" in a weekend; it is indeed a process. From where you're coming from, those little wins- an end table drawer, some kitchen counter space- are just as much a cause for celebration as a clickbait-y "One-day whole garage cleanout!!!" clip. Progress is a sustainable goal. Keep up the good work.
You are so kind to continue to educate with such grace and genuine understanding. You are soooo on point about the letting go scale. Please continue your great work.
This is really important that you've made the distinction between normal excess stuff in a storage space and true hoarding! Years ago I was watching Keeping up with the Kardashians. The sisters were worried about their brother, Rob. He had become very reclusive and they were worried about his mental health. They went into his apartment when he wasn't home. He had a huge walk in closet that was nearly empty. On a shelf he had 3 spare deodorants and maybe a few other toiletries. One of the sister's said, "Oh, my G..., what is going on? Rob's turned into a hoarder!" I was so taken aback by that! Having a few extra supplies that I regularly purchase is important for me! It keeps me out of the stores and I never have those last minute dashes to get something I ran out of. Storing it in a convenient, but out of the way space is part of my organizing journey. It's not hoarding!
I think you and I are on the same page here, but please feel free to enlighten me if you do not agree with this or if you have different thoughts: Is there possibly a difference between a “hoarder” and one who has a “hoarding disorder”; meaning one may be a behavioral issue and the other is a mental disorder characterized by the behavior as a major symptom? For example, people can fall into a depression (displaying behaviors of deep grief or sadness), but NOT have clinical depression (a mental disorder characterized by depression as a major symptom). In one situation someone may be grieving, but once it’s over they’re fine. The person with clinical depression won’t even see a depressive episode coming, and can be triggered by a mere misunderstanding. This individual therefore fights a VERY different battle. Perhaps this minimalist may have been a hoarder (in his behavior) but he never EVER had a hoarding disorder? If I’m correct, then because you have the disorder, it was harder for you to declutter that it was for him. This absolutely would NOT mean that there is something “wrong” with you, but simply that you and he had different battles to fight. He was changing a behavior, you were literally reprogramming your brain which is faaaaar harder! And YOU have MORE to be proud of in this case! Girl, LOOK HOW FAR YOU’VE COME!!!❤ I don’t believe words like “hoarder” and “depression” are being thrown around, but I think you really hit the nail on the head when you postulated there are different kinds of hoarders. So if I’m correct, some have to deal with the behavior while others have to deal with trauma that results in a mental disorder that is characterized by the behavior; so the two will LOOK the same on the outside, but the inner battles are two COMPLETELY different things! Is this kind of what you were suggesting?
Oh so spot on! Yeah I was like, so if those guys were not “hoarders”… what would you call them? But as you said, phrasing “a hoarder” and “a person with hoarding disorder” seems to separate the behavioral from the mental struggle. I don’t struggle with hoarding, so I don’t really know what Miss Heart thinks, but to me this comment was so very insightful! 😊
My nana was a hoarder. She had collected items her whole life including trash/Barbie’s/my childhood toys/shampoo/National Geographic and way more. We couldn’t walk up the stairs, the top two bedrooms were packed to the ceiling and she would freak out if we even touched her hoard. She refused to clean or organize and it stayed that way until her death. She was a hoarder and she cared about every individual thing.
I agree with your scale 100% I don't understand how they simply get rid of things so fast! I've always horded things but it got worse from a situation in my past. I'm thankfully not dealing with that anymore but I can't seem to get past my hording side. I've been trying to go through things but it's so difficult. With your new scale I'd definitely be a 4, even 4.5...I bring new things in but can't get rid of stuff....I'm trying to not buy so much..plus, I start feeling guilty as it effects those I love who live with me. Thanks for sharing your videos, it makes me feel not so alone in this journey ❤
@Robyn Kemball . There are many true hoarders in my family. One was identified by DNA after dying in a massive hoard, and one fell into a coma after tripping over a massive hoard but someone did a "well-check". My daughter and I are on medication for our mental illnesses, she is in therapy, and I graduated. Please get whatever help you need. Talk to your primary care physician and ask for a referral. Tina, Al's wife
I agree a 100%. Like many others mentoned in the comments, I feel like hording and general clutter are mixed up. And many youtubers put hoarding or hoard in their titles or thumbnails. Some of them probably don't know the correct use but I feel that it is often clickbait. They mostly have a normal amount of clutter. Thank you for your great videos and all the educational content. Through you I know, that my mother has hording disorder and know why all the attempts to help her clean have failed in the past.
You bring up a good point including the psychological aspects of hoarding as a better way ti define it. There are also situations where a person might have a physical disability that makes it harder to get rid of items. It could be that they have the will to get rid of their clutter but physically can't. That person wouldn't necessarily be a hoarder.
You bring up very good points about hoarding. I sincerely hope that Rachel Cruz or the Minimalists reach out to you. You have come so far in recovery. You are the first to really describe the emotional attachment to stuff. Way to go!
When people say they have something that is technically a disorder (ocd, autism spectrum, hoarding, etc) then can easily work around it to function, it makes those who truly have the disorder and struggle with it daily feel horrible because they are not finding it easy to beat. Ms. Heart, I really like your perspective on looking at hoarding as how difficult it is to get rid of things.
So many mental health symptoms or names are thrown around like that it becomes far from what the term is. Such as OCD people think it's about cleanliness but it's not it's repetitive behaviors that if a person doesn't do something bad will happen. No one with a mental health disorder is a bad person they are a person who just hasn't had the right treatment or support. Thank you for helping me understand the psychology of a "hoarder" and being so open you are helping many people.
You are right, if everbody are hoarders then no one is a hoarder... Many people have visual clutter without being hoarders. I love The Minimalists, even though I don't agree with everything they say. 😊 Loved your speech, Melanie, it was spot on! ❤❤❤
You are so right. Choosing is impossible or very difficult for a hoarder. The Minimalists may have had excess stuff, but getting rid of the items didn't cause pain. There are hoarders in my family, broken light bulbs and dirty kleenex (objectively useless)have the same value as a skein of yarn(objectively useful). Thank you. Tina, Al's wife
Thank you for speaking up about this! I find the same thing with Obsessive compulsive disorder, it is on trend to say " Oh I'm so OCD" and it really pushes my buttons. We need to be inclusive of everyone and stop using real mental health disorders as adjectives for dramatic effect.
I love how you put it, and I agree, the medical community should add that little extra bit about how easy/difficult it is for someone to get rid of things. Lots of people have lots of stuff. But how easy is it to hand that stuff off? For me, it's a glance and a 'yeah that can go'. For my husband, if he's got an emotional attachment to it, it's staying. The way you've helped me, just ME, in understanding that, I'll be forever grateful. I really hope your vid reaches far and wide and that the message falls into open ears and open hearts.
Thank you for this video! ❤ I really like the minimalists and they inspired me as well to get rid of so much stuff. Although I agree completely with you that the term hoarder is used way too loosely. I have a family member who is a hoarder and it is completely different from just having a lot of stuff and easilly letting go of it (which was the case for me). I think one should definitely add the scale you describe to the definition and how much the possesions impact your every day life when it for example comes to letting people into your home (as you have also talked about) and overall mental wellbeing. This differs so much betwen a hoarder and someone who just owns a lot of stuff. This is also something I have largely been missing in the conversation about hoarding until your videos
I thank you for addressing the emotional aspect and saying what you needed to say with so much grace! My mom is an alcoholic and your comparison really hit home because an alcoholic can't just throw out all the liquor and everything is great. It took my mom 10 years to get sober and she finally did when she addressed the mental and emotional aspects and also got support from someone that knew what she was really going through. Thank you for clarifying this for all of us!
Thank you so much for your honesty and compassion! I hope this helps others not to use the term so flippantly and have empathy for those who truly struggle. You are an inspiration!
Thank you for making the clear difference in the way having way too much stuff is defined. As you explained hoarding disorder has to be worked through. But, there are many different causes for people to have way too much stuff. You are so right in that there should be different terms for the different reasons people have to much stuff. My ❤️ to you for stating the differences.
PREACH! One problem with outsiders misusing a community's language is that the people who really do belong to that community are left with no way to discuss their reality. Misusing other people's language is one way the mainstream attempts to maintain control. It's one symptom of the mainstream being threatened.
What a brave video, you are so right - many don't really know what a hoarder is. I am very organized, everything is in it's place - but I could actually be considered a hoarder, because I have a lot of "stuff". It is neat, it is curated, I have plenty of room - but, there are things I don't use, things I don't need, things my children don't want or need - but here it is because I don't know what to do with it. Let "them" tell me how to dispose of things that have monetary value. Blessings!
This is amazing!!! I 100% agree that the ease of letting things go can determine what level hoarder you are. The amount of stuff you have does not determine your attachment level to things. You should write down notes and create that scale yourself! You can do it!!!! Reflect and take your time, you can even write a book about it! I have literally watched your entire journey and it has been so helpful to keep me inspired in my continuation of simplifying my life by eliminating clutter (I do have hoarding tendencies and it's a slow process but rewarding). Sending love!
This is an awesome video… your response and your explanations are so valid and I really hope will help shift the conversation and understanding around hoarding. Your journey is/has been amazing and inspiring ❤
I think you hit the nail on the head: there are levels for hoarding the actual items and how it impacts someone's space, but how much more do we need a level to assess and give words to the level of emotional anguish and difficulty it creates to someone who is working through things to let *it" go.... By using hoarding to describe someone's full garage vs. the mental and emotional support that is needed for someone to work through their feelings in hoarding disorder cheapens and lessens the struggle.
I hope what I shared makes sense. We do need words to convey the level of attachment someone has in letting things go -- in addition to finding words to address the levels of emotional and mental support needed for someone in recovery from hoarding disorder. I can't thank you enough for your transparency and honesty in being the one to use your platform to support people suffering from this in silence and in fear.
I totally agree with what you said in this video. You are so gracious and wise. I admire how far you have come in your journey. It wasn't until I stumbled on your videos that I was able to admit to myself that getting "rid" of "things" was truly painful and that was the reason I was hiding things and making excuses for holding onto things that in my heart I truly felt I NEEDED to get through some difficult times in my life. I am so grateful that I found your channel. It has helped me tremendously! ❤
I feel your message on so many levels!!!! I know how you feel, the hiding, the excuses, anything so I didn’t have to face it. I suppressed for emotions for so long! But as we take these baby steps, it’s becoming easier. The freedom of sharing your emotions and positively let go of our items, it’s so wonderful I could cry!! I will always support you, cheer you on and celebrate every victory with you 🦄💜🌟🙏🏼
I think that's a problem with a lot of mental disorders. If you have depression you are not just a little sad. If you are a hoarder you don't just have a lot of stuff.
This is such a needed and respectfully done video. The scale is definitely imperfect because it also correlated quantity of stuff with pests and uncleanliness. My mother was high on volume of items but our house was VERY clean (no hugs, mice, per messes, or gross trash, etc.) so this is an important distinction that needs to be made as well.
I totally understand where you’re coming from - you explain yourself so well, yes they definitely need to clarify the levels of hoarding! By the way, I think you’re awesome!
I’m glad you made this video. I have always felt that there was something wrong with the hoarding definition because I have believed that many people have too much “stuff” in their homes but that they aren’t suffering from hoarding disorder. When my children were little I sometimes felt overwhelmed by the amount of toys and other things they had but it’s always been pretty easy for me to declutter. So, to me that wasn’t hoarding. Whereas I have seen people who really struggle to let go of any possessions even if they were never going to use them.
We all ask for abundance & then when we have earned abundance people label us as a hoarders. Celebrities shop all the time yet are not called hoarders because they have the money to like Kanye west have 16 storage units and big mansions. Everyone stop seeing abundance as hoarding. Leave people alone and allow them to organize it & figure it out themselves. I totally agree with you !
it´s exactly the same with the terms "burnout" and "depression" and many other psychological disorders I´m sure of... being burned out or being depressed have become so commonly used in our everyday language that it absolutely diminishes the struggle for those really and authentically struggling with these illnesses... and that in turn diminishes the reaction from people when you say you´re really depressed or burned out and you struggle and people hearing it often don´t really understand it and think "just get yourself together" or "work harder" or whatever... It´s so important to differentiate between really having an illness or if it´s just a mood or temporary... thank you for talking about this.. you give so many people a voice and I admire that about you so much! Best wishes XX
I am so glad I have found your channel. Some hoarder levels go from 1 - 5 and some can have 9 levels. So I have no idea which level I would be described as. Most of the rooms in my house are unusable. I live in half of one room. I thank you for sharing your feelings and the before/after pictures. I am just starting my journey to tackle my hoarding disorder, to reclaim my life and my home. It is very emotional and very tough going. Mentally I have come to recognise that I have the disorder and that I do want to do something about it. It has taken me 10 years to reach this point. In the last 6months, I have reached out to to various, so called "hoarding disorder specialists" to try and get help with tackling, not just the hoard, but the emotional & mental pain as well. So far the help offered has only been to swoop in and clear everything into a skip (or dumpster) which sends me into a panic just thinking about it. The type of help I need has not been forthcoming and I have realised that I am going to have to do it completely on my own.
I am so proud of you and your journey! You hit so many valid points I thought does she know and I forgot we talked. 🤭 I also have had to to emotional decluttering myself and will have to again soon. The medical field does need more detail in this area. But I must say you youtube family/community is very proud of your accomplishments! This is why we return over and over.❤
Thank you so much for sharing your heart and explaining this so well. Having a lot of stuff is not the same as hoarding disorder. I have learned so much from you! Big hugs and deep appreciation!
I went back and rewatched that part of the video, then I went to the comments. There are a lot in support of you and recommending you specifically as a true resource (myself included!). I think your message might have a good chance of getting through to them! There are also a lot of comments from people who are actual hoarders sharing their stories and speaking out to correct the misleading info they were giving. I went thru and liked a lot of them and replied to a couple. Here's hoping the Minimalists and Rachel Cruze will see this and stop to pay attention! 💖
Awe, thank you for letting me know that! I gotta check out the comment section! And also liking every hoarder who shared their message about their disorder! I want to give them encouragement too 🦄🌟💕🙏🏼
Question, please. When you first found yourself turning the corner in that you found yourself able to give away more and hold on less, how did you feel? For me, I'm feeling stunned and surprised. Feeling excited and scared simultaneously. I don't who I am...but in a good way! And I have you and my Jesus to thank for this change of heart. I am thankful for my friends praying for me. Still there is a long road ahead of me. But with every single tittle of an item that leaves my grasp and care, I am stronger, and lighter!!! Thank you, my dearest Melanie, and Miss Pepper, for continuing to share and encourage. May God bless you, your family, and your home. Sincerely and with Gratitude, Denise.
I think words have been losing their meanings for a long while, and hoarding is one of those words. OCD, ADHD, autism-related words, hoarding, addiction. The thing people forget regarding it, is that folks dont fully understand the physical and mental reactions we have. Defining the difficulty relating to the behavior is tantamount to really get the word meanings back. I completely agree with what you have said here
Thank you for this. I always called myself a hoarder tongue-in-cheek to my friends because I have rooms full of "stuff." But hearing your experience and the tremor in your voice as you are teaching us what you experience as a hoarder has been eye opening to me. It isn't too hard for me to emotionally detach and pass on possessions. For me all it takes is getting fed up enough to go on decluttering sprees. I have OCD tendencies and I think that is what holds me up. Thanks again.
hello, in my case i'm the oposite, my home is "almost clean and order", but I stuggle so much when I have to through something ... I even remember puting in the bin something 10 years ago, because it was given to me to my birthday, but then it was broken ....
Today, I was in the city and it took everything in me not to go get a few little things from Value Village. Some things are easier to part with like old towels, shabby clothes while children’s books or games I could potentially use for work are major struggle.
A real hoarder can think of a million reasons to keep the stuff because they are genuinely afraid to let it go. I think you are so brave, to feel it and still let so much of it go! You are such a blessing ❤❤
Thank you for addressing the different levels of hoarding with defined definitions. What I'm feeling people are getting clutter and hoarding mixed. Clutter a person can go out to the garage, clean it up in a couple of day get rid of tons of stuff and move on to the next project. Personally, I do not understand minimalist, have seen people get rid of almost everything to the point they are sitting and sleeping on the floor. I feel that is a disorder of NOT being able to make an attachment to anything, perhaps it was just a stunt. What I do want to say you have done a fantastic job and have brought to the forefront what hoarding FEELS like. You brought me to tears.
Thank you so much, you are so incredibly right! You do bring up a good point, something I never thought about before. Extreme minimalism to the point of sleeping on the floor. I saw that and thought that was so extreme but if they’re happy, to each their own. But what if they are not happy and it’s actually dissociation or detachment? Now we are enter another realm of mental disorders. Could be another form of a coping mechanism to self soothe unprocessed trauma. Very interesting point my friend ❤️
IMO, it all depends on how you feel about the clutter you have. Hoarding is linked to the inability to decide due to the value of the item to the owner. Hoarding normally starts from the lack of time getting through the task of working on clutter due to having so many items plus the difficulty of deciding due to the value. The buildup of clutter, IMO, becomes hoarding over time.
I have a ton of clutter myself (I have a ton of books). They may be in neat piles but the fact that I don't want to get rid of them because "I want to read them and then resell them someday" despite reading other books is the problem. The act of doing so is what leads to my hoarding since I buy faster than what I discard.
I've been watching this channel for more motivation to let go by giving it away (I grew up without much of an allowance so it's hard to let go. It feels like a waste).
There are extremes on both sides however minimalist people have learned that you don't need much things to survive and be happy and they also have the planet in mind and the financial aspect of it too. Most minimalist are happy with their lifestyle while true holders usually are not and feel embarrassed. I became a minimalist (not extreme) after my mom passed and I was stuck with all her junk, I just don't want to leave that burden on my kids.
YES! clutter + hoarding -- good differentation! And I also like what you were saying, Ms. Heart, about the ease of decluttering as well as amount of stuff. Thanks for a great video!
You have truly shown "A Hoarder's Heart" in this video. Your empathy for others who struggle is unmistakable, and you are helping so many more people than you know. Bravo, Miss Heart. ❤
Great video. I’m the complete opposite of a hoarder (not by choice) and it’s also a real, tangible mental disorder. Clutter makes my anxiety so bad that I find it hard to hold onto ANYTHING that I don’t use on a daily basis. I’m constantly taking mental inventory of every drawer, closet, shelf, basket, bin, etc. and getting rid of anything I don’t need. I didn’t choose to be this way any more than you did… It’s just how my anxiety manifests itself. I find it fascinating how much alike we are, but at the same time, so completely different!
Taking a mental inventory of everything you own must be exhausting! Sounds like you are doing a good job of getting rid of things that cause the anxiety though xxx
I’m the same way I used to count how many items I had I definitely got rid of things I should’ve held onto, for me it needs to be organized, I used to love having everything organized in eyesight but I’ve realized having it organized behind closed doors helps my anxiety, so I can’t see it and don’t immediately think about it or get urge to mess with it
I bet you could still benefit from her tips: baby steps, doing what still feels safe, using a scale of 1 to 10 for how much something triggers your anxiety... As well as therapy or emotional work to identify the root of the trigger.
Wishing you luck getting to a healthier relationship with stuff. ❤
Thank you for clearing this up. People are so flippant using medical terms when they have no idea what they’re talking about. 💞
Love you and your channel!
Very well said. I am not a minimalist but I have never been a hoarder either. I can be disorganized but I don´t feel anxiety letting things go so I think redefining the scale is very important. People with hoarding disorder are not simply disorganized and disorganized people are not automatically hoarders.
You are absolutely right my friend 🦄💜🌟🙏🏼
Very, very true!
Most if not all disorders in the DSM have an initial criterion that so many people ignore: some sort of significant impairment in a person's life (social, work, health etc.). The hoarding disorder descriptions I'm finding online all have this. I'm not seeing levels of hoarding, though - those may be on different, less technical websites.
For example:
"Specific symptoms for a hoarding diagnosis include (American Psychiatric Association, 2013):
• Persistent difficulty discarding or parting with possessions, regardless of their actual value.
• This difficulty is due to a perceived need to save the items and to the distress associated with discarding them.
• The difficulty discarding possessions results in the accumulation of possessions that congest and clutter active living areas and substantially compromises their intended use. If living areas are uncluttered, it is only because of the interventions of third parties (e.g., family members, cleaners, or the authorities).
The hoarding causes major distress or problems in social, work or other important areas of functions (including maintaining a safe environment for self and others)." (from the American Psychiatric Association website)
My own experience with a disability is that people go straight to the checklists/levels and skip the part where there must be significant impairment in one or more areas of daily living, and so they apply labels to themselves (or others) that aren't warranted. It's really common, and, when they get told those labels don't apply to them, they typically lose interest entirely.
At any rate, I think the experts have your back. It's just everyone else.
Thank you so much for sharing this with everyone! When I hear or see people talking about hoarding disorder, even the hoarding convention I went to who helped social workers with hoarding situations, they always use the “Hoarder Levels 1-5.” Which I understand because it’s a great tool! We just need to bring these medical points more mainstream 🙏🏼💜🙏🏼💜🙏🏼💜
As a psychologist, the criterion of "significant impact/impairment on daily functioning" is the most important criterion in diagnosis. Do not worry, the experts know.
Laymans do struggle to recognise that difference and do overuse these terms. Hopefully your awareness helps to combat that.
You're doing great ❤
@@lifeasandrea280 Is hoarding disorder in the DSM? If not; where do the levels come from?
@@mariemaladorno8788it was in Dsm-5. Not sure about dsm-5-TR.
Thanks for addressing this... I've had well-meaning friends say, "Give me an hour... I'll clear your place OUT..." I've told them (through panicked eyes & with a shaking voice)... "Oh... Then, nevermind... It's not that easy for me..." Some understand that it's emotional, most DON'T...
You should be thankful you have friends willing to help..
@@TheMrRobert Hateful turd.
Its always emotional
I've watched your journey since first video and I am so very amazed that you have decluttered as much as you have and have both recognized that you have hoarding disorder, and have done the work mentally spiritually and physically to recover ....
You are the person who can speak to us about hoarding disorder as well as how someone with this disorder feels about becoming a total minimalist
🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄
Thank you so much my friend 🦄🌟🙏🏼🌟 You keep me motivated with your kind, encouraging words and that means everything to me 🙏🏼❤️
I agree with you, it's so so hard! I took a box of things to my charity shop today, and i rescued two books out of it before i let it go. That was 8 hours ago, and I've been thinking about that box ever since.... ! I have to remind myself its not my stuff anymore, and I wasn't using it. BTW these are books I've had for 14 years and never read, but .... still thinking about them!
It’s been 24 hours and now I’m a little calmer 😆
2 months later I’ve donated the 2 books ! 😂 I never got round to reading them
@@snorlaxjenSo proud of you! 🎉
@@snorlaxjenjust seen this and want to say well done! Have had a few similar 24 hours and always find it hard to come back from the charity shop without anything newly purchased so well done on letting it all go!
This is exactly it. I watched the minimalists and felt pressured to get rid of everything and like a bad person when I couldn't. And yeah I got rid of things I shouldn't have because of that. Then of course ended up with more things trying to get some of the items back.
Oh how I felt your message in my heart!! Yes, letting go of something too early only regresses us. We know that now so we don’t put that unnecessary pressure on ourselves ❤️🙏🏼❤️ You are doing amazing my friend, I will always cheer you on!!
Thank you for this video. I felt your emotions. My teenage daughter began hoarding more than 10 years ago when she was in kindergarten. Over the years to watch her go into panic attacks and long term depression and internal meltdowns at not only needing to keep food wrappers but also not being able to obtain enough things to surround her space with was heartbreaking for both of us. She struggles both with the need to have more items surrounding her and the desire to make it stop but being unable to. She’s been in therapy the entire time and only two years ago was she able to let go of clothes she’d grown out of 7 years ago. I don’t fully understand even though I try which is why I watch your channel. I’m so proud of her but I feel for her so much also. Thank you for your channel. You’re helping a small family understand each other better and you’re helping me be a better mom.
Your comment really made me want to cry, my daughter just wants to buy things, but never lets anything go. Sending you a big hug, you are doing all you can and she is trying to work it out by being in therapy xxx I really wish you all success :)
@@judithyoung3 it is really hard to talk about. I cried writing the comment. Good luck on your journey also. Just being a parent that’s aware must bring our children some comfort in times they feel out of control.
@@jennrae67 I lost my son in 2020, he was 2 days short of his 28th birthday. I am struggling with his belongings, even during and after a house move last year. He had a very high emotional attachment to everything, probably inherited from my side of the family (we grew up with very little). My daughter is now 19, but has been collecting since a very early age, and yet, has no attachment to family memorabilia/history. LOL
@@judithyoung3 I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you feel some healing.
This is a little random, but I was thinking during some of the B roll in this video that maybe you can display your ribbon collection on your basement craft area wall with horizontal dowel rods. The way you organize your clothes by color is so artistic and beautiful-- imagine how you can sort your ribbon with all of those colors and patterns and textures!
I suggested this in a previous video as well. Marvelous idea!
Her being creative might just end up that way!
You are the best Mel, bless you much xoxo.
I agree with everything you say!
From what I could bare to watch of that video, I didn't feel like they really understood hoarding disorder. Their focus was more on the stuff and numbers of things as opposed to the mental disorder side. I feel that those attitudes, trivialises the complexities and difficulties that those with hoarding disorder go through. The markers that medical professionals use to define the different levels also only focus on the physical aspect and very little on the mental & emotional attitudes.
I pray that the right people find this video and help you to continue to be that voice for people with hoarding disorder.
WONDERFUL video
🌺🌺🌺
Yes, I think people over- simplify when they say "I am a hoarder "when really what they have is a cluttered garage (maybe a very cluttered garage), ignoring the whole emotional component and mental component. Defining the hoarding levels only by the amount of stuff a person has, discounts the disorder. It does not acknowledge a person's viewpoint of why they have the hoard and what purpose the hoard serves for them, let alone give them practice in learning how to manage the mental disorder. Skipping over that vital step in a simple "just get rid of it" approach will just cause the person to hoard again, because the uncomfortable emotional and physical feelings have not been addressed properly over time. No one expects a person with an eating disorder to just be given a diet or a person with OCD to be told "don't worry, don't engage in your behaviors anymore". Change takes help and practice if it is a true mental disorder. A messy person can just hire someone to clean and be just fine with them discarding things. You are right.
Very well said! I agree 1000%!
I actually watched this episode and because I have been watching you for a few years I sat there thinking exactly what you said. They have missed the letting go/emotions aspects. When I started decluttering my house it was around a level 2-3 in clutter, this was due to buying stuff I didn't need and having a small home, not that there was any attachment to most of it and was easily able to let it go. I love these videos and I love how you look at the positives as well as negatives without being bitchy or rude x
Thank you so much my friend ❤️🙏🏼❤️
You are a much nicer person than I am. I frankly can't watch more than a few minutes of Those Guys without getting angry at their tone & sense of superiority. I won't get into details here (I could rant for PAGES & PAGES), but honestly? I think that their sort of minimalism is self-absorbed, unhealthy, and promotes extremist, unbalanced, and unachievable goals.
/exit rant mode/
I don't have that reaction to organizers like Marie Kondo. I'm fine with moderate minimalists (even though I'm not personally a minimalist & don't find their channels interesting). I think your patient, reflective approach is healthy & achievable both for recovering hoarders & neuro-divergent people in general.
I hope “the minimalists” and Rachel Cruse get to see this
Same!
Thank you for making this video. I am not a hoarder-but have a hard time getting rid of things. You're videos have made it easier. I didn't know there were levels and when you say my nervous system could or could not handle something-you identified what I was feeling when I would go through a box. Thank you for sharing (this videos and all of the others). Hugs!
Thank you for constantly educating people with and without hoarding disorder. As you have said, and I know The Minimalists too, they meant well but mental disorders are thrown at everyone these days very carelessly. Not to say that their suffering isn't valid. But the whys and the hows are different. For people with mental disorder, healing is a hard fight of sweat and blood. For people who have it similar, but less "bad", it's a bumpy road. And we are happy that that is for them! Because we never want anyone else to go through the things we have to. But also, please don't take away our pain and suffering either.
And never stop posting. Make the world hear your voice. ♥
I love how beautifully you wrote your message 🤍 You are absolutely right my friend 🙏🏼
Thank you again for expressing the real struggle that hoarders face. If it was as simple as just getting rid of stuff, we could all be minimalists. It's all about the emotional attachment to objects and the way they help us cope with whatever has happened, or is happening to us. It's so much more complex than the items themselves. Thanks again xx
I worked in a “corporate” job for many years. My escape was sewing, painting & crafting.
Doing projects was what I would look forward to. And I was good. When I retired many years ago.. my joy was in repurposing & creating. Sold items that fattened my retirement fund which has made today my ability to live comfortably. I’ve never purchased “new” items with the exception of food and home products. My “hobbies” make me happy & comforted.
I know full well that the vast amount of items I have “hoarded.. both new or collected.. are what keeps me going after my husband died of ALS, Lou Gehrig’s disease… was diagnosed and past away 7 months later.
He loved crafting & repurposing as much as I did.. so with the hoard I have will be with me forever.
As long as the house is clean & spotless.. what’s in my 3 craft rooms & 3 car garage will stay. I know there are just as many who are ok with as those who aren’t. Thanks for reading and love to all💖
I've become hooked on your video's due to their genuine and educational nature, and of course the satisfying effect of seeing a space transform into something more functional and beautiful. Despite not being a hoarder myself, I struggle with clutter due to overwhelm and disorganization, and each time I watch a video of yours, I feel inspired to improve one of my spaces. That in turn inspires my husband. Last week, my husband parked the car inside our garage. Nothing unusual you may think, except it took us 3 years to get to the point where this was possible, and it was a big moment!
Wow, congratulations! Even without the emotional attachment, that’s a great achievement
Dude I had to stop watching them after an episode where they said people shouldn’t take meds for their anxiety. I was like, bro I’d off myself if I didn’t have my meds but ok? 🙄They’re ignorant AF.
I saw that show and completely agree with you. I really appreciate you making this video. It is sad when people use terms so loosely without knowing the true meaning of them.
I would like to thank you for helping me to understand a little about hoarding disorder. I'm not a hoarder but one of my sisters has always struggled and I always thought of her as lazy and dirty until I found you. You have helped me be a kinder and nicer sister. I would go to her house and clean and throw things out without talking to her about how she felt. There is nothing wrong with my sister either. She is kind and loving and would move the world to help me if I needed anything. I didn't understand and I still don't really but today I see her a lot differently than I used to.
Miss Heart ❤️ you explain each and every emotion and step of this journey so well. I know it’s from your experience which is why you have so much compassion and kindness and you give so much encouragement and motivation to us all no matter how small our steps are. Thank you so much for being the wonderful person you are. Have a great week. Mary, Joes wife 🙇♀️👏👍💪🙏💐🐈
Thank you Mary for always being my friend through this journey ❤️🙏🏼❤️ Together, we are bringing hope and encouragement to many!!!
Thank you for this. I had to unsubscribe to all of their content because it became so invalidating. Thank you for your vulnerable and honest approach. You are such a bright light!
You are such a wonderful strong and amazing woman. My daughter suffered an eating disorder and I agree with how it hurts when others say things like; “ I wish I had anorexia so I could loose weight” ….. or anyone who was slim was labeled as “anorexic” the complete mental distress that that accompanies any mental disorder is enormous and frankly at times life threatening. Your courage and compassion is stronger than your hoarding disorder and you are overcoming it with such grace. My daughter is now recovered and also is looking to help others in her own way. My experience with assisting her recover has taught me to be more compassionate with anyone who struggles mentally and finding your channel on UA-cam has been amazing. You self soothing talks replay in my head whenever I struggle mentally and I wish I could just hug you and say “thank you for all you do”
Interesting. I feel the term thrown around as depression sometimes are. Feeling down and saying you are depressed/feeling depressed. Likewise you can feel down and struggle with taking action but still being able to Take action etc.
This was a stellar video. My favorite part of your channel is that you go into explanations of hoarding disorder and make those explanations plain, simple, and accessible for most people to understand, no matter whether or not they've been or known a hoarder. The differentiation of ability to let things go vs. quantity of things is hugely important, and I would love to see more videos like this where you take a dive into these important topics. I always loved how you explained ADHD and hoarding's intersection because I never would have thought of that before. Please keep up the good work and send love to Pepper!
You make such a good point. I saw this exact minimalist video and although I am a minimalist and not a hoarder, I actually recognized what you're saying bothered you. It bothered me, too. Immediately I thought, "no this isn't right." So, I'm glad you said something. They are nice guys so hopefully they will reach out.
I have my hoarding disorder under control now.. but I have 65000 pounds worth of useless things in my attic ! I am now working out how to sell them all !
Maybe sell the most valuable and just offer the rest that's in good condition online for free. That might speed the process.
Well said, very respectful and constructive! ❤
Thank you so much my friend 🦄🙏🏼💜🌟
Clinical distress is part of the criteria for hoarding disorder.- distress parting with objects. Thank you for being so honest with your struggles!
I like your idea of the hoarding scale to take account of the emotions, that would be helpful. I'd also like to include additional alternative pictures to the hoarding scale, of organized hoarding. Because my home never looks like even a level one, it's all organized in containers and furniture and stacked neatly (or neat-ish, at any rate). The current hoarding scale pictures don't apply to me at all. Yet I have a room filled floor to ceiling with a channel down the side to get to the useable space at the end. I have stuff stored on the stairs because there's nowhere else to put it. I don't hoard obvious trash and there's no pest control issues or biohazards, but I do see the potential in things others would discard as trash, keeping things like pretty sweet wrappers and I struggle to let anything go. I have far too much stuff overall. It's essentially being stored in my home, unused.
I believe you spoke well and from your heart. Love ya
I am not a hoarder, but I have a sister who I think may be. You've helped me understand her viewpoint better, and I thank you for that
HI Molly, Dr. Randy Frost has some wonderful videos on youtube about hoarding disorder and has cowritten a wonderful book called Buried in Treasures.
thank you
Exactly, they are not hoarders! Just because you have to much stuff does not mean you are a hoarder. There has to be a mental issue with not being able to give it away! I saw this video. I realized they did not know what they were talking about. They are NOT hoarders! I was really upset by their nonchalant attitude.
This post was so powerful and eye opening. You're giving a voice to the people who feel shame and judgment. Thank you for your openness and honesty.
You often comment about how you've "done the (emotional) work" to get where you are. I love that you are honest about therapy. This makes you and your situation far more relatable and realistic. I think people who click on decluttering videos are often just so conditioned to expect a "big reveal" at the end that they don't understand how hard the journey can be. True hoarding can't be "solved" in a weekend; it is indeed a process. From where you're coming from, those little wins- an end table drawer, some kitchen counter space- are just as much a cause for celebration as a clickbait-y "One-day whole garage cleanout!!!" clip. Progress is a sustainable goal. Keep up the good work.
I admire your mildness and patience with people. Proud to be here.
You are so kind to continue to educate with such grace and genuine understanding. You are soooo on point about the letting go scale. Please continue your great work.
This is really important that you've made the distinction between normal excess stuff in a storage space and true hoarding!
Years ago I was watching Keeping up with the Kardashians. The sisters were worried about their brother, Rob. He had become very reclusive and they were worried about his mental health. They went into his apartment when he wasn't home. He had a huge walk in closet that was nearly empty. On a shelf he had 3 spare deodorants and maybe a few other toiletries. One of the sister's said, "Oh, my G..., what is going on? Rob's turned into a hoarder!"
I was so taken aback by that! Having a few extra supplies that I regularly purchase is important for me! It keeps me out of the stores and I never have those last minute dashes to get something I ran out of. Storing it in a convenient, but out of the way space is part of my organizing journey. It's not hoarding!
Thank you, for you!
I think you and I are on the same page here, but please feel free to enlighten me if you do not agree with this or if you have different thoughts: Is there possibly a difference between a “hoarder” and one who has a “hoarding disorder”; meaning one may be a behavioral issue and the other is a mental disorder characterized by the behavior as a major symptom? For example, people can fall into a depression (displaying behaviors of deep grief or sadness), but NOT have clinical depression (a mental disorder characterized by depression as a major symptom). In one situation someone may be grieving, but once it’s over they’re fine. The person with clinical depression won’t even see a depressive episode coming, and can be triggered by a mere misunderstanding. This individual therefore fights a VERY different battle. Perhaps this minimalist may have been a hoarder (in his behavior) but he never EVER had a hoarding disorder? If I’m correct, then because you have the disorder, it was harder for you to declutter that it was for him. This absolutely would NOT mean that there is something “wrong” with you, but simply that you and he had different battles to fight. He was changing a behavior, you were literally reprogramming your brain which is faaaaar harder! And YOU have MORE to be proud of in this case! Girl, LOOK HOW FAR YOU’VE COME!!!❤
I don’t believe words like “hoarder” and “depression” are being thrown around, but I think you really hit the nail on the head when you postulated there are different kinds of hoarders. So if I’m correct, some have to deal with the behavior while others have to deal with trauma that results in a mental disorder that is characterized by the behavior; so the two will LOOK the same on the outside, but the inner battles are two COMPLETELY different things!
Is this kind of what you were suggesting?
Oh so spot on!
Yeah I was like, so if those guys were not “hoarders”… what would you call them?
But as you said, phrasing “a hoarder” and “a person with hoarding disorder” seems to separate the behavioral from the mental struggle.
I don’t struggle with hoarding, so I don’t really know what Miss Heart thinks, but to me this comment was so very insightful! 😊
Thank you and bless every person, whatever their pains and joys. Your videos are incredibly important and they heal my heart. 💛
My nana was a hoarder. She had collected items her whole life including trash/Barbie’s/my childhood toys/shampoo/National Geographic and way more. We couldn’t walk up the stairs, the top two bedrooms were packed to the ceiling and she would freak out if we even touched her hoard. She refused to clean or organize and it stayed that way until her death. She was a hoarder and she cared about every individual thing.
I agree with your scale 100% I don't understand how they simply get rid of things so fast! I've always horded things but it got worse from a situation in my past. I'm thankfully not dealing with that anymore but I can't seem to get past my hording side. I've been trying to go through things but it's so difficult. With your new scale I'd definitely be a 4, even 4.5...I bring new things in but can't get rid of stuff....I'm trying to not buy so much..plus, I start feeling guilty as it effects those I love who live with me. Thanks for sharing your videos, it makes me feel not so alone in this journey ❤
@Robyn Kemball . There are many true hoarders in my family. One was identified by DNA after dying in a massive hoard, and one fell into a coma after tripping
over a massive hoard but someone did a "well-check". My daughter and I are on medication for our mental illnesses, she is in therapy, and I graduated. Please
get whatever help you need. Talk to your primary care physician and ask for a referral. Tina, Al's wife
I agree a 100%. Like many others mentoned in the comments, I feel like hording and general clutter are mixed up. And many youtubers put hoarding or hoard in their titles or thumbnails. Some of them probably don't know the correct use but I feel that it is often clickbait. They mostly have a normal amount of clutter.
Thank you for your great videos and all the educational content. Through you I know, that my mother has hording disorder and know why all the attempts to help her clean have failed in the past.
You bring up a good point including the psychological aspects of hoarding as a better way ti define it. There are also situations where a person might have a physical disability that makes it harder to get rid of items. It could be that they have the will to get rid of their clutter but physically can't. That person wouldn't necessarily be a hoarder.
Absolutely 🙏🏼
You bring up very good points about hoarding. I sincerely hope that Rachel Cruz or the Minimalists reach out to you. You have come so far in recovery. You are the first to really describe the emotional attachment to stuff. Way to go!
With your explanation, I now see it here minimalist had a level 2 hoard, but is a level 0 hoarder.
When people say they have something that is technically a disorder (ocd, autism spectrum, hoarding, etc) then can easily work around it to function, it makes those who truly have the disorder and struggle with it daily feel horrible because they are not finding it easy to beat. Ms. Heart, I really like your perspective on looking at hoarding as how difficult it is to get rid of things.
So many mental health symptoms or names are thrown around like that it becomes far from what the term is. Such as OCD people think it's about cleanliness but it's not it's repetitive behaviors that if a person doesn't do something bad will happen. No one with a mental health disorder is a bad person they are a person who just hasn't had the right treatment or support.
Thank you for helping me understand the psychology of a "hoarder" and being so open you are helping many people.
You are right, if everbody are hoarders then no one is a hoarder... Many people have visual clutter without being hoarders. I love The Minimalists, even though I don't agree with everything they say. 😊 Loved your speech, Melanie, it was spot on! ❤❤❤
Thank you so much my friend ❤️🙏🏼❤️
You are so right. Choosing is impossible or very difficult for a hoarder. The Minimalists may have had excess stuff, but getting rid of the items didn't cause pain.
There are hoarders in my family, broken light bulbs and dirty kleenex (objectively useless)have the same value as a skein of yarn(objectively useful). Thank you.
Tina, Al's wife
Thank you for speaking up about this! I find the same thing with Obsessive compulsive disorder, it is on trend to say " Oh I'm so OCD" and it really pushes my buttons. We need to be inclusive of everyone and stop using real mental health disorders as adjectives for dramatic effect.
Well said! 💖
I love how you put it, and I agree, the medical community should add that little extra bit about how easy/difficult it is for someone to get rid of things. Lots of people have lots of stuff. But how easy is it to hand that stuff off? For me, it's a glance and a 'yeah that can go'. For my husband, if he's got an emotional attachment to it, it's staying. The way you've helped me, just ME, in understanding that, I'll be forever grateful. I really hope your vid reaches far and wide and that the message falls into open ears and open hearts.
Thank you for this video! ❤ I really like the minimalists and they inspired me as well to get rid of so much stuff. Although I agree completely with you that the term hoarder is used way too loosely. I have a family member who is a hoarder and it is completely different from just having a lot of stuff and easilly letting go of it (which was the case for me). I think one should definitely add the scale you describe to the definition and how much the possesions impact your every day life when it for example comes to letting people into your home (as you have also talked about) and overall mental wellbeing. This differs so much betwen a hoarder and someone who just owns a lot of stuff. This is also something I have largely been missing in the conversation about hoarding until your videos
I thank you for addressing the emotional aspect and saying what you needed to say with so much grace! My mom is an alcoholic and your comparison really hit home because an alcoholic can't just throw out all the liquor and everything is great. It took my mom 10 years to get sober and she finally did when she addressed the mental and emotional aspects and also got support from someone that knew what she was really going through. Thank you for clarifying this for all of us!
🦄 cheering you on as always
Thank you my dearest friend 🦄💜🌟🙏🏼
Thank you so much for your honesty and compassion! I hope this helps others not to use the term so flippantly and have empathy for those who truly struggle. You are an inspiration!
Thank you as always for sharing your heart ❤
Thank you for making the clear difference in the way having way too much stuff is defined. As you explained hoarding disorder has to be worked through. But, there are many different causes for people to have way too much stuff. You are so right in that there should be different terms for the different reasons people have to much stuff. My ❤️ to you for stating the differences.
PREACH! One problem with outsiders misusing a community's language is that the people who really do belong to that community are left with no way to discuss their reality. Misusing other people's language is one way the mainstream attempts to maintain control. It's one symptom of the mainstream being threatened.
Thank you for this! I am not a hoarder but I try to call people in when they flippantly say they are as it's really not helpful to people who are ❤
What a brave video, you are so right - many don't really know what a hoarder is. I am very organized, everything is in it's place - but I could actually be considered a hoarder, because I have a lot of "stuff". It is neat, it is curated, I have plenty of room - but, there are things I don't use, things I don't need, things my children don't want or need - but here it is because I don't know what to do with it. Let "them" tell me how to dispose of things that have monetary value. Blessings!
This is amazing!!! I 100% agree that the ease of letting things go can determine what level hoarder you are. The amount of stuff you have does not determine your attachment level to things. You should write down notes and create that scale yourself! You can do it!!!! Reflect and take your time, you can even write a book about it! I have literally watched your entire journey and it has been so helpful to keep me inspired in my continuation of simplifying my life by eliminating clutter (I do have hoarding tendencies and it's a slow process but rewarding). Sending love!
This is an awesome video… your response and your explanations are so valid and I really hope will help shift the conversation and understanding around hoarding. Your journey is/has been amazing and inspiring ❤
I think a better description of the people with a full garage who can just let it all go is that they are "consumers."
You are simply a beautiful soul! Very grateful you have shared your story!
I’m a new subscriber and I’m loving your videos. You are such a sweet and kind lady 🌷
I think you hit the nail on the head: there are levels for hoarding the actual items and how it impacts someone's space, but how much more do we need a level to assess and give words to the level of emotional anguish and difficulty it creates to someone who is working through things to let *it" go.... By using hoarding to describe someone's full garage vs. the mental and emotional support that is needed for someone to work through their feelings in hoarding disorder cheapens and lessens the struggle.
I hope what I shared makes sense. We do need words to convey the level of attachment someone has in letting things go -- in addition to finding words to address the levels of emotional and mental support needed for someone in recovery from hoarding disorder. I can't thank you enough for your transparency and honesty in being the one to use your platform to support people suffering from this in silence and in fear.
Excellent comparison between alcoholic and hoarder to help us understand hoarding. You’re a great advocate for this painful disorder called hoarding
This is an amazing video, very real and touching!❤🌟🪴🍀🦄🌷❤
Thank you so much ❤️🙏🏼❤️ I truly spoke from my heart in hopes of helping many 🤍🤍
I like your suggestion about an additional scale for how difficult it is to let go of items. And a scale for how to self regulate.
I totally agree with what you said in this video. You are so gracious and wise. I admire how far you have come in your journey. It wasn't until I stumbled on your videos that I was able to admit to myself that getting "rid" of "things" was truly painful and that was the reason I was hiding things and making excuses for holding onto things that in my heart I truly felt I NEEDED to get through some difficult times in my life. I am so grateful that I found your channel. It has helped me tremendously! ❤
I feel your message on so many levels!!!! I know how you feel, the hiding, the excuses, anything so I didn’t have to face it. I suppressed for emotions for so long! But as we take these baby steps, it’s becoming easier. The freedom of sharing your emotions and positively let go of our items, it’s so wonderful I could cry!! I will always support you, cheer you on and celebrate every victory with you 🦄💜🌟🙏🏼
Thank you so much for saying this! I relate and I understand and I love you so much! Carry on with courage! 😘💕💕💕💕💕
Thank you so much my friend ❤️🙏🏼 Your encouraging message keeps me motivated 🦄💜🌟🙏🏼
I think that's a problem with a lot of mental disorders. If you have depression you are not just a little sad. If you are a hoarder you don't just have a lot of stuff.
Thank you for this video! The letting go truly is a challenge.
This is such a needed and respectfully done video. The scale is definitely imperfect because it also correlated quantity of stuff with pests and uncleanliness. My mother was high on volume of items but our house was VERY clean (no hugs, mice, per messes, or gross trash, etc.) so this is an important distinction that needs to be made as well.
I totally understand where you’re coming from - you explain yourself so well, yes they definitely need to clarify the levels of hoarding! By the way, I think you’re awesome!
Thank you so much!! Your message made my heart so happy 🦄💜🌟🙏🏼
I’m glad you made this video. I have always felt that there was something wrong with the hoarding definition because I have believed that many people have too much “stuff” in their homes but that they aren’t suffering from hoarding disorder. When my children were little I sometimes felt overwhelmed by the amount of toys and other things they had but it’s always been pretty easy for me to declutter. So, to me that wasn’t hoarding. Whereas I have seen people who really struggle to let go of any possessions even if they were never going to use them.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me 💜🦄🙏🏼🌟
We all ask for abundance & then when we have earned abundance people label us as a hoarders. Celebrities shop all the time yet are not called hoarders because they have the money to like Kanye west have 16 storage units and big mansions. Everyone stop seeing abundance as hoarding. Leave people alone and allow them to organize it & figure it out themselves. I totally agree with you !
it´s exactly the same with the terms "burnout" and "depression" and many other psychological disorders I´m sure of... being burned out or being depressed have become so commonly used in our everyday language that it absolutely diminishes the struggle for those really and authentically struggling with these illnesses... and that in turn diminishes the reaction from people when you say you´re really depressed or burned out and you struggle and people hearing it often don´t really understand it and think "just get yourself together" or "work harder" or whatever... It´s so important to differentiate between really having an illness or if it´s just a mood or temporary... thank you for talking about this.. you give so many people a voice and I admire that about you so much! Best wishes XX
I appreciate your voice. I've learned so much from your channel.
I am so glad I have found your channel. Some hoarder levels go from 1 - 5 and some can have 9 levels. So I have no idea which level I would be described as. Most of the rooms in my house are unusable. I live in half of one room. I thank you for sharing your feelings and the before/after pictures. I am just starting my journey to tackle my hoarding disorder, to reclaim my life and my home. It is very emotional and very tough going. Mentally I have come to recognise that I have the disorder and that I do want to do something about it. It has taken me 10 years to reach this point. In the last 6months, I have reached out to to various, so called "hoarding disorder specialists" to try and get help with tackling, not just the hoard, but the emotional & mental pain as well. So far the help offered has only been to swoop in and clear everything into a skip (or dumpster) which sends me into a panic just thinking about it. The type of help I need has not been forthcoming and I have realised that I am going to have to do it completely on my own.
I am so proud of you and your journey! You hit so many valid points I thought does she know and I forgot we talked. 🤭 I also have had to to emotional decluttering myself and will have to again soon. The medical field does need more detail in this area. But I must say you youtube family/community is very proud of your accomplishments!
This is why we return over and over.❤
Thank you so much for sharing your heart and explaining this so well. Having a lot of stuff is not the same as hoarding disorder. I have learned so much from you! Big hugs and deep appreciation!
Hello from Germany and hi miss heart and miow pepper. You say it it's so true🎉
I went back and rewatched that part of the video, then I went to the comments. There are a lot in support of you and recommending you specifically as a true resource (myself included!). I think your message might have a good chance of getting through to them! There are also a lot of comments from people who are actual hoarders sharing their stories and speaking out to correct the misleading info they were giving. I went thru and liked a lot of them and replied to a couple. Here's hoping the Minimalists and Rachel Cruze will see this and stop to pay attention! 💖
Awe, thank you for letting me know that! I gotta check out the comment section! And also liking every hoarder who shared their message about their disorder! I want to give them encouragement too 🦄🌟💕🙏🏼
I just watched "Hoarding Disorder with Dr. Randy Frost" on the Little Home Organized youtube channel and it was so lovely, very gentle and insightful.
I think youre amazing keep up the amazing work you are definitely inspiring and you get me motivated ❤
Love your videos. You have helped truly understand people in my who hoard. In my eyes you’re a therapist who needs to start practicing.
Question, please. When you first found yourself turning the corner in that you found yourself able to give away more and hold on less, how did you feel? For me, I'm feeling stunned and surprised. Feeling excited and scared simultaneously. I don't who I am...but in a good way! And I have you and my Jesus to thank for this change of heart. I am thankful for my friends praying for me. Still there is a long road ahead of me. But with every single tittle of an item that leaves my grasp and care, I am stronger, and lighter!!! Thank you, my dearest Melanie, and Miss Pepper, for continuing to share and encourage. May God bless you, your family, and your home. Sincerely and with Gratitude, Denise.
I think words have been losing their meanings for a long while, and hoarding is one of those words. OCD, ADHD, autism-related words, hoarding, addiction. The thing people forget regarding it, is that folks dont fully understand the physical and mental reactions we have.
Defining the difficulty relating to the behavior is tantamount to really get the word meanings back. I completely agree with what you have said here
Thank you for this. I always called myself a hoarder tongue-in-cheek to my friends because I have rooms full of "stuff." But hearing your experience and the tremor in your voice as you are teaching us what you experience as a hoarder has been eye opening to me. It isn't too hard for me to emotionally detach and pass on possessions. For me all it takes is getting fed up enough to go on decluttering sprees. I have OCD tendencies and I think that is what holds me up. Thanks again.
hello, in my case i'm the oposite, my home is "almost clean and order", but I stuggle so much when I have to through something ... I even remember puting in the bin something 10 years ago, because it was given to me to my birthday, but then it was broken ....
Today, I was in the city and it took everything in me not to go get a few little things from Value Village. Some things are easier to part with like old towels, shabby clothes while children’s books or games I could potentially use for work are major struggle.