Funny Stories from the Roman Army - Part 2
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- Опубліковано 9 тра 2024
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In this video we cover 3 more funny stories and quite unbelievable stories from the ancient world of Rome. From sliding elephants to Roman democracy, these should give you some good insight into life from the eyes of a common soldier!
Sources:
-Livy. XLIV. 1-12
-Livy. XLV. 35-39
-Appian. B. Civ. I. 29-30
Intro (0:00)
Sponsor (0:16)
Invading in style! (1:04)
Roman democracy (5:28)
A display gone wrong (8:43) - Розваги
If time machines where a thing , I assure you taking a trip back to see a bunch of elephants and a roman legion in full armor sliding down a mountain in stages would be a smash-hit day trip 🤣🤣🤣
Those soldiers, marching past bleachers full of time travellers: "Who the fuck are all those people watching us?"
I bet they'd still be wearing tunics and sandals
sir whats that t looks to be a guy standing on that hill looking at us next to a metal box hope he isent a scout
" If my centurion rolled off a cliff, should I follow him?" and the resounding answer was yes. Possibly the funniest thing I heard this week. Great video!
That one made me laugh real hard ;P
Centurions in general had a pretty bad life expectancy. As officers they were dressed in more fancy clothes to be recognizable to their troops, they also fought in frontlines and were not part of usual rotation of legionary lines. Their enemy also recognized them as well, because while Romans could call them barbarians, they were not stupid. Caesar in his journal wrote quite a lot about it, Gallic Wars were a tough business.
Romans: have you ever been on a rollercoaster
Elephant:No
Romans: Would you like to?
"if my Centurion rolls off a cliff should i follow him?...Yes." LMAO!!!! oh I love these!
Anyone that has ever been in the military knows the answer to that one.
@@dda40x1 true facts :)
"the romans are right behind this mountain ! this battle will decide our fates"
*Sees romans rolling down from the cliffs*
Hannibal: Loses 3/4 of his army trudging them through the mountains.
Romans: L O G I S T I C S
The Macedonian commander with his cup of wine, seeing small soldiers tumbling and elephants gracefully sliding down the mountainside, did he perhaps *wonder* if he'd had *too much wine?*
I can assure you that last time *_I_* saw elephants and funny little men tumbling around I *know* that I'd had too much wine.
Or an eye that can see the spirit world
Only the Romans could turn a treacherous mountain crossing with Elephants into a Doneky Kong Country stage. My respect for them has tripled.
Elephants Rollin down the hill: Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch
Legionaries Rollin down the hill: Looks like fun, lets join em.
Amusingly there seems to be a recurring occurrence of Macedonian kings being forced to flee from the Romans half-dressed. Livius described how during the 2nd Punic war Macedonia joined the war on Hannibal's side and invaded Roman territory in what is now Albania. The Romans sent reinforcements, who caught up with the bulk of the Macedonian army while they were besieging a Roman city. The Romans originally planned to use the cover of the night to sneak some men into the besieged city to inform the defenders that help was coming soon, but while at it noticed the Macedonians were apparently not expecting any enemy reinforcements to arrive any time soon as their camp was completely unguarded with all the sentries asleep. So the Romans changed their plans and snuck up to the camp, getting in through the gates before anybody could raise an alarm. Caught completely unprepared, the Macedonian army descended into chaos and the king himself was forced to flee without even having the time to put on clothes, escaping in "a state of dress unfitting for a soldier, let alone a king", as Livius puts it.
So this is why roman sentries that fell asleep on duty is punished so harshly.
Oh we would know if the elephants were traumatized alright. The fact that they are calm probably meant that they were quite pleased. Which is nice.
I think that they were just pleased with anything that wasn't them being forced onto an active battlefield
Fair treatment of elephants should be a guiding principle of civilization
"Your highness, the Romans are sliding elephants down the mountain like a... Big elephant water-slide."
"Just let them take the city, good show!"
More serious videos are in the making, guys… but for now, the Funny Roman army strikes again!!
and I've got no right to take my place
to the human race
(Bigmouth Strikes Again, The Smiths, 1986)
really like these type of vids. the last one had me dying :)
@@user-wg8nb2uj8y That last one I never fully got. I did get _"body shaming"_ but exactly what was he ashamed of? Was he victim of the enemy's overeagerly form of _"body shaving,"_ was he missing important parts? Or did he merely have a sore behind, or...? It wasn't fully explained.
The "elephants over the -Alps- mountains" story I will remember for a long time. I'm amazed I never heard it before.
I'm really looking forward to the next video with funnies.
Bruh the elephant one is gold
LMFAO Elephants sliding down quietly because they know it's easier than the walk hahahaha.
I'm going to open a gun store and name it "tools of democracy"
I may steal that! 😂
"Insurance of liberty" would be more accurate.
I've watched many comedy movies and animations but that particular moment at 2:43 just took me back years ago into my mid childhood 😂
Great video as always thx for providing us again!
That’s great to hear and I am very glad you enjoyed! More on the way :)
I can just imagine the elephants going down the Roman slide, going "WEEEEEE"
7:55 😂 I love this part
"Violence is never the answer unless the right question is asked."
How I wish US Congress would more be like Roman. I would love to see a Red & Blue Royal Rumble!!
I would bet on Red... They have the guns!
The USA is probably more roman late republic than you'd wish for
@@jamescashin5637 Of course! Hand-to-hand only
@@ReaperCH90 Rome had a Purge Night. .
They are pretty Roman if you ask me. They take that ''Violence is never the answer, it's the solution'' to heart.
I absolutely love when the music changes from serious war music to that fun and slightly goofy music 😂
So they built sleds and a protoype rail system to haul each elephant down the mountain, but they didn't think to sled down like they did for their chonky tanks? I imagine it woulda been far easier than rolling down in full armor and weapons jabbing ya all the way...
I guess the had not enough time for that.
Yay Part 2! Let’s gooooooo 🙌🏻
As always romans engineered the sh*t out of every challenge presented in their way 😂😂😂
The Roman's were true minecraft fans XD
Thank you guys! Keep up these unique humor vids on the legions!
A new way of conquering a world, sliding down the hill, to make enemy die laughing
Imagine walking close to mount Olympus in the 3rd Macedonian wars and seeing a Roman war elegant sliding down the slope of the mountain.
Really enjoyed todays show! Very well researched and even presented with a delicate touch of humor, keep it up!
I was having rough times, for a couple days. But, thankfully - your video gave me heartily chuckle.
that first story actually brought tears to my eyes with laughter, hilariously well told my friend, great video.
He should of known how immature the soldiers would react, cmon. I mean these are the same people with ancient graffiti art of dongs and crude inscriptions everywhere.
Yoooo awsoooome vidz keep em uuup
We need more of these. Never enough
Constantine's legion is here !!!
That's a really funny story about elephants. The romans sure were ingenious
more series like this please
Lol would've never expected a story about a Roman commander stripping himself naked...
We need more of these videos !
Love it, need it, got to have it.
Would love to see more of these! Great video :D
Why don’t we just use our shields to slide down like the elephants.
Are you disobeying a direct order, Quintus?
…Damnit
Quintus that shield is not yours to misuse! Now shut up and roll down the mountain like the others! :)
@@JonEtxebeberriaRodriguez yes Imperator
Actually fights in parliament are good indicators of democracy. They never happen in autocratic countries parliament, cos difference of opinions are impossible and no reason to fight there.
great point, humans be humans after all, can't help but want to pull each other's hair every once in a while
Yep but as we can see, too much democracy is inefficient too and polarisations eat at the country from within
We saw this decay in the late Roman Republic and are starting to see it today
Pls do more of this, also was playing war thunder while listening lol
This may be the most eloquent rebuttle to having your junk laughed at. Great content.
Sucks that this episode didn’t get as many views - I loved this one and the last fun stories episodes
I'm very glad I found this channel
"WANNA COME ELEPHANT SLEDDING WITH ME???!"
Bodyshaming then: hah!! You got scarred in a fight.
Bodyshaming now: you live an unhealthy lifestyle, take care of yourself.
Ah yes, this is the history we should be taught in schools
I never got to learn about how civilized the Romans were in their debates, or how amazing their military tactics of sliding down mountains were 🥴
They laughed at his small ding dong😂😂
On be bit with the rolling down the mountains I kinda expected a yeti somewhere on the foot of the mountain.
Make part 3
Elephants are *really* smart. They probably did, in fact, enjoy the rollercoaster ride. At least a little.
I think Napoleon and his army also did this during the Marengo campaign in 1800.
This video is a testament to the subjectivity of comedy
That bathtub scene makes me think of Archimedes.
2:24 but the most trouble were the elephants! hahaha yep.
wow this is sooo good.
MORE MORE MORE FUNNY STORIES FROM ROOOOOME
Thank you
"A swelling in the groin." A badly healed wound? Or an STI?
“Clad in his purple-bordered toga and preceded by his twelve crimson-clad lictors, all bearing the axes in their bundles of rods, Gaius Popillus Laenas walked east. Now he was not a young man, so as he went he leaned upon a tall staff, his pace as placid as his face. Since only the brave and heroic and noble Romans built decent roads, he was soon walking along through thick dust. But was Gaius Popillus Laenas deterred? No! He just kept on walking, until near the huge hippodrome in which the Alexandrians liked to watch the horse races, he ran into a wall of Syrian soldiers, and had to stop.
“King Antiochus IV of Syria came forward, and went to meet Gaius Popillius Laenas.
“‘Rome has no business in Egypt!’ the King said, frowning awfully and direfully.
“‘Syria has no business in Egypt either,’ said Gaius Popillius Laenas, smiling sweetly and serenely.
“‘Go back to Rome,’ said the King.
“‘Go back to Syria,’ said Gaius Popillius Laenas.
“But neither of them moved a single inch.
“‘You are offending the Senate and People of Rome,' said Gaius Popillius Laenas after a while of staring into the King’s fierce face. ‘I have been ordered to make you return to Syria.’
“The King laughed and laughed and laughed. ‘And how are you going to make me go home?’ he asked. ‘Where is your army?’
“‘I have no need of an army, King Antiochus IV,’ said Gaius Popillius Laenas. ‘Everything that Rome is, has been, and will be, is standing before you here and now. I am Rome, no less than Rome’s largest army. And in the name of Rome, I say to you a further time, go home!’
“‘No,’ said King Antiochus IV.
“So Gaius Popillius Laenas stepped forward, and moving sedately, he used the end of his staff to trace a circle in the dust all the way around the person of King Antiochus IV, who found himself standing inside Gaius Popillius Laenas’s circle.
“‘Before you step out of this circle, King Antiochus IV, I advise you to think again,’ said Gaius Popillius Laenas. ‘And when you do step out of it - why, be facing east, and go home to Syria.’
“The King said nothing. The King did not stir. Gaius Popillius Laenas said nothing. Gaius Popillius Laenas did not stir. Since Gaius Popillius Laenas was a Roman and did not need to hide his face, his sweet and serene countenance was on full display. But King Antiochus IV hid his face behind a curled and wired wigbeard, and even then could not conceal its thunder. Time went on. And then, still inside the circle, the mighty King of Syria turned on his heel to face east, and stepped out of the circle in an easterly direction, and marched back to Syria with all his soldiers.”
Colleen McCullough, The First Man in Rome, pp.265 - 266,
anyone can explain what wound is exactly the "sweling in the groin" @9:38 ? please
It seems that the guy might have had one of his genitals disproportionately bigger than the other
Probably he had sores or bruises on his unmentionables from having to ride a horse in tough conditions. Possibly even blisters.
More legion videos
After this, Hannibal march in the alp is pure comedy
MORE! MORE! MORE!
Why haven't I herd of this before 😭😭😭😭. The great roman army sled race 😭😭😭
I imagine any Macedonian in the mountains that day would've picked up some excellent Latin swears as an entire legion tumbled down the mountainside.
The drawing at 4:36 screams "eureka" to me.
where can i sign up for this
lmao
Invasion i love it romans pulled so crazy move that Macedonians just surrendered
Finally we got a new video
Someone should make a semi-historical Brooklyn 99 style comedy of Rome 😭🤣😂
Tools of diplomacy 😅😅😂😂
tool of democracy , sound like how my school work with other school ??
cool
Funny indeed! We have to acknowledge the creativity, especially with the elephants xD
I shit myself laughing, no kidding xDDD
Who in there right mind would challenge a bunch of veterans to a street battle
8:25
You should read Charles Dickens commentary on the American Congress pre Anerican -civil War.
It was so dysfunctional that France and Britain ( The European powers are really just a big family fighting over land) influenced the civil War because they wanted to take their land back and figured they could, and they wanted to stop the cotton price skyrocket.
Only the names change not the man.
roman democracy is the best, if no sensible agreement can be reached trough reasonable means, unreasonable means shall be adopted to beat some sense into the more dense.
MORE
That’s some oversimplified sh*t right here hahahaha
Those nutty Romans...lol
10:10 why is he turning sideways though?
Please visit Micahistory 2, it would mean a lot!
Does that mean that jears on horseback do horrible things to your spear?
See violence solves problems kids!
I like this channel. Because unlike Invicta (the other Roman history channel) the narrator made it through puberty. And isn't a grown ass man squeaking like a little girl.
lol
169 B.C. first recorded
snowboarding elephants.
thats probably a hernia
Within the first minute of the video i was thrown off by the war thunder advertisement as im playing war thunder. I love this game, although heroin would be a better way to waste my life😁
FALL IN down the mountain
What wrong had the guy in the last scene? I didn't get it.
🤣🤣🤣
I think people forget, all people who lived before us regardless of the empires they belonged to acted like selfish immature people 😂
My like and comment
Elephant tobagoning?