6 Lasting Effects of Having a Narcissistic Parent - Rebecca Johnson, LMHC
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- Опубліковано 8 лип 2024
- 🌿 In this video I dive into 6 lasting effects of having a narcissistic parent.
If you are trying to navigate an abusive relationship with a partner or parent, I’d love to chat with you.
Thanks for watching!
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Right on. Being gaslit, talked out of your intuition can lead to ADHD, OCD, rejection sensitivity, perfectionism, depersonization, dissociation and being hypervilgent or not wanting to try at all.
I tick all those boxes. 😒😔
Me too 😢
Beyond true
For clarification, ADHD is neurological… it exhibits developmentally in childhood, but it’s not caused by psychological damage. With the right support someone with ADHD will not develop psychological comorbidities. Neurodiversity isn’t a mental health problem, but I agree that neurodiverse people are vulnerable to physiological harm.
How fortunate the younger generations have access to this information, trained therapists in areas brought on by childhood trauma.
67 yo. …. Your words are spot on. A therapist once asked me how I ever survived. My response was what I knew ….. I’ve had this inner voice telling me “this isn’t right”.
And looking back after learning how all these events have molded me, I see how that coping mechanism kept me sane but also made my safe place my inner world so to speak. Afraid to step out. Walking on egg shells, drawn to toxicity, trouble setting boundaries, doubting. But also strong. I still struggle - I’m a nurse( not surprising) love my work. The isolation from COVID lockdown proved to me how much I need positive social interaction. I began having very real flashbacks for the first time ever in my life. Went back to therapy for awhile.
I want to just say thank-you!
I don’t think there any way to ever forget or to never have lasting effects- but the recognition of why has validated me in so many ways. I only wish there had been this dialogue decades ago!❤
I had an "aha" moment when you mentioned lack of boundaries can lead to being in abusive relationships. If you have been taught to have no boundaries with a parent then you are an easy mark for more abuse due to not having the skills to set boundaries. I never looked at it like that before. Thank you.
Boundary setting became essential to me in mid-life. The main Cloud/Townsend book and workbook were a great place for me to start with back then. I've become pretty skilled at setting them with success but I worked on it for years. The person who just couldn't really abide by the boundaries I set was a sweet enabler, of all people. Surprisingly, the Ns in my life were good about my new boundaries.
Now, whenever I have a problem with someone, I think about how setting a new boundary can help fix it and that's been working well for me, especially in marriage.
Good luck to you. Boundary setting can really be a game changer.
Dunno, while 'boundaries' and a certain amount of 'charm' (aka, being 'pleasing') are important to watch out for, IMHO it also depends on the _purpose_ and where you're 'coming from'. For example big difference whether it's for 'manipulation', or simply to genuinely understand and get to know someone better (though agreed, you still gotta respect folks limits and differences in 'pacing').
@@mingonmongo In my case, I was setting boundaries on my parents. One is an enabler, and couldn't follow my boundaries, while the other is an MN, and did follow my boundaries, which I found to be surprising. I thought it would be the other way around,
I know what you mean about using boundaries for manipulative purposes and that's not cool.
1. Mental health issues. Anxiety eggshells. Depression. Post traumatic stress disorder
2. People pleasing. Compulsion to seek others approval and love
3. Problems with interpersonal relationships. Healthy relationships are u known. Drawn to toxic people
4. Trouble with emotional intimacy and vulnerability
5. Difficulty with boundaries.
6. U healthy coping mechanisms
I wish you well on your recovery journey. Thanks for watching!
Thank you for the summary. It's helpful. 😊
Me. Four marriages.
Yes, I ticked all boxes, but still go in and out of doubt. My most crippling afflictions are anxiety, depression and emotional dysregulation.
My parents abused me and crapped all over me. I'm an adult now and they are both deceased, but if I never see them again, it will be too soon. They were good hardworking people, but really sucked as parents. They weren't the worst parents in the world, but they were horribly neglectful, abusive and uncaring to me and my siblings. It was hell growing up in that household, and the trauma I suffered took its toll on me and my adult life.
Some people are just not meant to be parents and really shouldn't have kids, especially those older generations.
I agree 1,000%
My parents had no business being parents.
Even if they would have had each had children with different partners, that still would not have worked.
I had a doctor tell me (he was a psychiatrist), after my parents decided to fire him once my parents got me locked in a psychiatric ward due to their behavior, the doctor looked at me with a sense of urgency and passion *GET AWAY FROM THEM! GET AWAY FROM THEM!!*
And he rushed out the door and I never saw him again.
I was 18 at the time. I am now 36.
I fully understand now.
I couldn’t see it then.
Today I am a *total wreck* who lives in complete isolation still in total $ dependence on my dad living alone across the street from a man who repeatedly drugged and raped me in my home. I see and hear this man every day. This happened almost 9 years ago.
My dad would do noting. He was cruel about it.
He doesn’t care that I’m destroying myself living here in this environment.
I don’t know how much more I can take
God save me 😔
@@Colt8722 I'm saying prayers for you. 🙏
@@websurfer5772 *thank you*
Thank you Rebecca...I am 67 years old and am a product of two narcissistic parents who hated each other. They constantly fought verbally--whilst partying and leaving the older kids to babysit the younger siblings. I am the 4th of 5 children...both of my brothers are deceased, alcoholics (aged 70 and 55 when they passed). I was also sexually abused by the older brother when I was 5 years old ( again, he was the babysitter while parents were out drinking and dancing--he was 13 years old). I guess as we grow up we try to block and compartmentalize the horrible shit that is our lives...but it all starts seeping through when we reach adulthood. At this point in my life I have had had a failed marriage--thankfully no children, and a few other failed relationships. I realized during the last one that I was about to explode because everything felt so uncomfortable. I finally went into therapy and discovered that I have CPTSD--which was kind of a relief to know that I wasn't just a freaking crazy person--but the therapist was only of limited help. I realize at this point in my life that it has all passed me by...that I am alone, and that from the CPTSD I cannot trust people. My closest--and only-- close friend died suddenly 3 weeks ago and now I am just totally lost. I freaking think that parents should have to serve jail time--or some other bad punishment for completely destroying the lives and the potentials of the children that they so callously abuse...
❤❤
❤️🙏🏻🕊
I have never seen two narcissistic people sustain a relationship more than about two minutes. Narcissists absolutely hate other narcissistic people.
I guess that is why she said they hated each other.@@karlabritfeld7104
I am so very sorry that you had to go through that trauma. I hope that you find a good therapist and are able to heal.It is a long road, but so worth it.
I wish I had help from someone like you way back when I was a child because they held me back in first grade because they said I was emotionally and mentally not ready even though I tested in the 5th & 6th-grade levels. Today in my 50s, I now know why. In the 60s & 70s, school counselors had no clue what to look for in these child abuse cases when it came to emotional & mental abuse. The abuse is truly traumatic for a child that affects their learning and education!
This is the first Rebecca Johnson UA-cam I have listened to. I am 76 and have struggled all my life with the issues she discusses. It seems that UA-cam is the best place to find therapeutic counseling for children of narcissist parents. When I have seen therapists over my lifetime, they consistently avoid discussing these topics. Why? Why? My experience tells me that truth is the best way, and the only way, for a patient to progress. Yet many therapists avoid talking about the truth with their patients. The result is too many discouraged and struggling patients. Thank you Rebecca. You are talking truth here.
Thanks so much for taking the time to watch!
Because Truth sets you free, you heal, and the 'therapists' are out of pocket. There is no money to be made from a healthy person.
As a Somatic therapist who was raised in a narcissistic environment, I want to offer that in decades past, narcissistic abuse was not understood. Psychology has come a long, long way, especially in this last decade. Many of our cultures, throughout history, has relied upon a sort of collective co-dependency with narcissism. We're all healing. We're all evolving. As a fellow survivor, I honor your resolve and growth.
@@elynselu7202 Thanks for the encouraging words. We have had a collective co-dependency with narcissism? That sounds about right. In spite of the progress made in psychology, many cultures (such as the MAGA crowd) haven't begun to wake up from the narcissism nightmare.
I am 68, and ticked all 6 boxes!
I'm 64 and had a horrible mother and an enabler father. He hid and let her beat us bloody. My sister is also a narc with delusions of grandeur. I am an introvert with no man in my life and no desire for one. I picked men who were narcs and passive-aggressive or emotionally unavailable (not that they were bad men just not right for me). I have been making progress with boundaries and am happy and content with how my life is. I have my garden and my cats. Psilocybin cubensis helps immensely as does cannabis. You would be amazed at what the keto diet has done for me since I cut out sugars/carbs. I also developed lichen planus which is an auto immune thing due to stress. Yeah. I'll be okay. God Bless all of you and have a joyful life on your own terms.
Glad you're healing and living a peaceful life after the abuse you suffered as a child. I have been learning about healthy personal boundaries and how not to react emotionally, late in life. Better late than never.
But isn't using cannabis an unhealthy coping mechanism? It is, after all, a mind altering drug (changes the way the brain thinks and reasons, permanently). Alcohol, in comparison, kills off braincells and is toxic to the body, but the effects wear off; it's not a mind-altering substance. I'm not recommending drowning one's sorrows, just talking about mind-altering drugs.
I have found healing and peace in getting to know the God of the Bible. He is great company and is totally reliable.
Courage and peace to you.
@@canadianukranian509 Thank you and God bless you too!!!
Cannibis can send you psychotic or makè you so paranoid you will kill yourselves.
@@sarahstrong7174 I don't know about the killing of self but I usually get tired and fall asleep, thats why I take it.
I am the scapegoat in my family. My mother made herself an overlord to me, she was unaffectionate and emotionally cold. She made my sister and I feel like we had burdened her life (my father left after a violent fight where she raged at him and neighbors called police, when I was 3, I have memories of the yelling and screaming) I have emotional dysregulation, anxiety and depression, have battled with existential guilt and low self-esteem. I have also found solace in psychedelics and cannabis.
Are you micro-dosing Cubensis? San Pedro is also amazing to micro-dose and even have larger therapeutic doses of, a very friendly plant medicine. I also cut out sugar and carbs and all the foods I used to emotionally regulate. I went full carnivore for 60 days to fast from all the crap. It has all helped, but I still find I have a gut-churning sensation in my solar-plexus that nothing seems to touch (apart from high dose psychedelics).
I have recently discovered Methylene Blue, available without prescription, not sure where you live, but its on ebay and Amazon. Promising compound, first made in the late 1800's. Its the first synthetic compound to ever be used as a medicine.
Why, when talking about parents & negativity, do people always seem to focus on alcohol, physical abuse, etc? That was not in my life. I was just literally never allowed to be right if my mom had a different opinion or belief about something. I remember trying to explain something in different ways to her because I was right & I thought she just misunderstood. Finally realized that right & wrong had nothing to do with anything. It was all about her power over me. Tried suicide shortly thereafter.
You're right. We understand physical abuse and the impact of alcoholic parents but narcissistic or emotionally abusive parents are not talked about enough. I think it is because most people don't get it. As a survivor, it can be difficult to explain and describe as well. I wish you well on your healing journey!
@@rebeccajohnsonlmhc Thank you.
@@reneelayden7703 Such a great point - that was my experience as well. What I had to say was always wrong, or if not exactly wrong, then just 'obvious' and not worth talking about, so the silent treatment.
Maybe they focus on those things becaise that is what happened to them.
Well, that’s the thing about narcissistic abuse and specific to narcissistic abuse from parents. Between social standards, viewing them as an authority figure even when we’re grown, filial piety and the often subtleness and insidiousness of narcissistic abuse, it falls between the cracks of “abuse” and is often not recognized or validated. I think most of us come from the idea of abuse as being black eyes and broken arms. In addition, I at least come from the POV that it’s intentional, despite this often being in question. Because it takes consciousness to strategize, in the long term, to chip away at someone’s inner core, to destroy them from the inside out, while circumventing morality and legality.
My mother had narcissistic traits but wasn’t a full blown one. Never the less, the trauma I endured was real. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, anxiety, depression, and binge eating disorder. I am 60 years old. Many of the difficulties you discussed , years of therapy and working on myself really helped. I still have a fear of abandonment. I
I was also raised by narcissistic parents but we aren’t them! BPD seems to be a catchall place to put survivors there these days but CPTSD is probably more like it
@@caroleminke6116 I'm inclined to agree - I started going to therapy because I thought I was Borderline, after one of my adoptive grandparents died and I didn't feel any grief - but later I realised that we'd never been close enough to form a meaningful relationship and I'd already been through other trauma with/sometimes at the hands of the rest of my adoptive family and was pretty numbed out by then. My counsellor said I had PTSD, which isn't something I'd even considered before I started seeing them.
Things are better 3 years on, but I'm still loathe to ask others for help, thinking I'm bothering them or I'm going to get refused help etc.
Not having good boundaries is a much better interpretation of noticing that ending up in bad relationships just keeps happening.
Some toxic positivity or new age notions would explain it as being one’s own fault due to “manifesting it” or having agreed to go through this as a “lesson” in this life. And that’s a tempting explanation to believe since taking responsibility for others is pretty ingrained and goes hand in hand with no boundaries.
How common is it for children of a narcissistic parent to acquire some of those traits themselves? My mom is a narcissist and I certainly am not but every so often I will see one of her traits pop through. I am aware enough to recognize and correct it, but it makes me feel uneasy when it happens.
I think this is a big concern for a lot of adult children of narcissists. I appreciate you mentioning it! Being aware of the behavior is a good start. There's bound to be some behaviors or traits that get picked up just because of the environment...but that doesn't mean you are like them. Noticing when it happens and then making an intentional choice to change it or correct it will help. Have some grace for yourself...these behaviors were a big part of your childhood and will take effort by you to catch and do differently.
@@rebeccajohnsonlmhc thank you so much for your insights regarding my concern. I get almost panicky when it occurs. Your videos are lovely, I appreciate them.
I used it as a defense against her. I gave ptsd and did from growing up with her.
I try to catch myself also honestly it's hard to
@@rebeccajohnsonlmhc ❤️
Thank you. I can relate to everything you say. It difficult keeping toxic siblings at bay that model the narcissistic mother and think it is a good way to relate to people.
As a 49 yr old , I’m caring for the narcissistic father at 79. He’s worse. I’m a wreck. He was out of my home at 8yrs old so living with him. I have isolated. Alone. You hit everything for me symptom wise. Ty❤
I'm with you. The hopelessness is overwhelming.
I have a narcissistic mother and she ruined my life. I d rather die than live with her ever again
@@donafarrow9692 You are not alone. I wake up every morning wishing that I didn't have to deal with her again. Peace. ❤❤❤❤🖖🖖
@@donafarrow9692 Yep my mother ruined our family and every aspect of my life she could get her hands on. That's why I went minimal contact, like 2 hrs on xmas and probably 20 min total throughout the rest of the year, and still that was way way too much. I should have gone no contact starting age 20 but didn't. I suggest very very minimal contact or better yet, no contact for anyone with one of these horrible destructive people in their lives. And therapy, self help books, internet articles and posts and anything one can find and never stop working on getting over it because it will never be straightened out completely in your head. AFAIK the destruction can never be totally healed, but one can make great gains on doing better. AFAIK there is no cure but there's an awful lot of people like us who aren't going to stop trying!
@@donafarrow9692 I made the huge mistake of moving next to my mom's house a couple of years ago... It was a weak moment, I felt like I just needed rest and thought i would be able to deal with the nightmare of her, but almost 3 years later, I had to stop working so much because emotionally I can't handle it... Do not ever go back! They never change and they are just conditioned to be evil and manipulative.. they don't care about anything in the world except controlling other people to validate their so egoes!! It's absolutely maddening! And because we are conditioned to them from such a young age, it's very hard to control reactions to them
I relate. But what about trusting untrustworthy people and sharing emotions and thoughts too much? And over-explaining. And taking people too seriously at times. And considering fairness more important than other people seem to.
Are these likely to have resulted from being lied to endlessly by a parent you thought would love you if only you were more; a parent you made excuses for ("she doesn't understand"); who practised favouritism blatantly and slandered people behind their backs, triangulated and alienated children from their parents.
Oversharing and over-trusting can definitely be by-products of a narcissistic parent. The desire to connect and to feel understood can drive this characteristics.
@@rebeccajohnsonlmhc thanks for confirming that. One feels the need to explain fully to avoid being misunderstood, as a result of being blamed unfairly, growing up.
My husband taught me to just ask my question without giving a backstory 😁
I can relate. Thank you for posting.
@@michelepascoe6068I'm definitely an over-explainer/over-sharer.
Me too! I'd never thought of this as being a symptom but yes! I'm on a WhatsApp group of close friends and I'm literally the only one who announces when I've cleaned the bathroom or washed the dishes. I think I'm trying to prove that I'm not as useless and lazy as I've been led to believe. Thanks so much for this comment. 🤗❤
I have a co-dependent relationship with the dog and the cat. They are my strength--I love them and they love me--hands down, no questions asked.
Awesome video thank you. I’ve dealt with each symptom. Mother was…is…malignant narcissist. My entire life-up to age 19 when I moved out- I had to walk on eggshells. Anxiety was always through the roof if she was in the house. Because, I was in trouble for one reason or another. She told my father some type of lie about me almost daily so I was in trouble with him, all the time. Just a really bad existence. But- I’m here, have learned a tremendous amount of info and am now thriving. Practice self care folks…you matter most!!! There is hope for scapegoats, after narcissism ❤️❤️☺️
Same here. I left home at age 18. Managed to build a life I prob never would have had I stayed at home / so in a weird way I am grateful to her. BUT I also walked away with a lot of scars that have never left me - biggest one being that I don’t trust anyone. When you don’t have the most basic relationship of trust one has such as the one with one’s mother, then it is almost impossible to ever truly recover from that. I know that I never did.
@@MiaK06
Hello there. I feel your pain…literally. Fortunately for me I had loving grandparents (paternal) who loved me unconditionally. But I had to grow to trust them. It was difficult at first because my father was the parent who was physically overbearing to me. He is 180 degrees different than his father. My grandfather was my best-est friend 🥰🥰💙. I adored him, & he adored me. So their love helped me to begin recovery from crummy childhood. They, had no idea what went one in our home otherwise they would’ve stepped in. I’m happy you’ve given yourself time and love. Continue doing so cause you matter most!!! There are trust worthy people on the planet..take your time and investigate them before opening your 🩷. I’ve found some where I am now and the friendships I have are awesome. Don’t give up on people..or yourself. SELF CARE FIRST dear one ❤️🩷❤️🌻. Take care.
PS-some scars will never heal. Not completely. I can share a few of my most painful experiences with friends about narcissist mother, without sobbing. Having read so much about narcissists I know how sick she is and I also know it wasn’t me who is flawed. Pain remains but it’s not as raw. And I’m 65 years old now. Will deal with some stuff until I leave this world. So I hope you don’t think of yourself as less than others, especially mentally or emotionally. You aren’t. You’re probably an Empath & HSP-highly sensitive person. Read about those things…it’ll prove helpful. It did for me.
@@sharonjones7138 Yes, all v true and yes, I am a highly sensitive individual / empath. Took me a long time to embrace myself for who I am and to be grateful for it. Acceptance didn’t come until well into my adulthood / mother who to this day tries to tell me that ‘I am funny and weird and bizarre’ coupled with ‘oh what’s wrong with you now’ or ‘you are as usual just imagining it’
I broke off all contact w her just a few months ago / no more contact except an email at Christmas and birthday
She of course is v busy telling everyone what an awful daughter she has blah blah blah
I have moments where I truly hate her for what she has done but that’s just holding a sword over my own head; as a result, I decided to finally just walk away but in my mind wish her nothing but love. She may not know this yet but I know that I will never see her again. She gave physical birth to me but she is not my mother. My mother came in the form of my grandmother for whom I will be eternally grateful for the first years of my life. She is the one I received all my values from.
@@MiaK06 OMGOODNESS!! My paternal Grandmother was my Mom, my entire adulthood. She and my Grandfather loved me so unconditionally it was something I’d never had and at first, pushed it away. Know that the gaslighting will continue as long as she can and once you go no contact she will tell others how horrible a daughter you are. I accepted that decades ago, having severed ties at 19-20. 64 now and I know it was THE best thing I did for me. So I have no regrets. The most important thing is to care for you. Your mental emotional spiritual physical health is paramount. Forgive her for you-not her. It’ll help you to not become bitter. I honestly feel sad for my mother. This personality disorder is horrible but then I feel angry cause she can be different if she wants to be. And she’s choosing to not be so oh well. I will continue to keep myself safe. I’m thriving and living now, no longer just existing. And I don’t feel guilty about it. Continue to love on yourself. Love on Jesus too..He’s ready to help heal your 💔💔. He’s knitting my back together and will be for the rest of my life as the effects of her abuse sadly lasts a lifetime. Take care dear one.
I wish someone would cover narcissists that are adult children raising their kids. I feel helpless during their formative years. My daughter can be sweet and loving but she is and has always been very self absorbed. I'm in a rough spot.
I have every single one of these issues. My dad was a narcissist and my mom’s second husband. I struggle every day to stay sane and unfortunately I always thought abusive traits were normal from men. My moms best advice my entire childhood was “ just ignore them. “ 🙄
I’m 55. My mother is a malignant narcissist/substance abuser. My father left and divorced her when I was 5. My mother took me out of state away from my father, and she remarried an abusive alcoholic. They abandoned and neglected me and my brother for days on end. When I was 12, she told me she never wanted to give birth to me. As an adult she used me as narcissistic supply. I had to obedient to survive as she controlled me with money and her fists. She took joy in hurting me and seeing me in pain and struggling. I never got married. I have severe problems in my interpersonal relationships. I’ve left every relationship because I cannot commit and have severe trust issues. I have done years and years of therapy and went no contact with my mother 15 years ago. That definitely helped, but I am still broken. And now I’m completely alone. I’m basically a hermit. For most of my life I took great pleasure in my education, career, and my pets, but since the pandemic, I took a job that I hate with every cell in my body, and both of my pets died. I’m looking around now and realize how stark and barren my life has become. I can’t even find a different job because nobody wants to hire a 55 year old in my field. And nobody wants to pay for the experience a 55 year old person can bring to any job when they can pay 17.00 per hour for an inexperienced person. At least that’s what I’m coming up against. I have not felt this lost and alone since I was 12.
In 57 and my God have we led parallel lives!
@@gigidayz6936 I’m so sorry that you’ve gone through similar things. I hope things get better for us. The last 3 1/2 years have truly sucked. But, I finally got an interview for a new job! I think it went really well. I’m totally qualified for it. It was scheduled for 30 minutes, but we went over an hour talking. And the best part is that it’s only a six minute drive from my home. I currently commute 60 minutes each way. They told me they would let me know by august 4. I’m praying and hoping that I get this job. If I do, I may consider adopting more pets. I was never lonely when my two cats were alive. I’m sending positive energy out to you!
@sdsearcher Please hang in there, I feel for you. Your parents didn't deserve you. Hope you got the new job!! Let us know. It's never too late to take in a new pet. I am also unmarried and decided I will take care of cats. I don't feel well around most people. You are right in everything you feel. Trauma is very hard to heal. I have a neglectful mum who plays the victim and resented most of her married life. I try to distance from her but we live together unfortunately. There are kind people in this world. I am really sorry. I hope you can be happy in life, it's never too late!! Good luck with everything!!
@@joannaheart8167 hi Joanna. Thanks so much for the kind words. They mean so much. More than you know. Well, I had the interview last Friday afternoon. I thought it went great and I let myself get excited. It was scheduled for 30 minutes and we went over an hour. I wrote my obligatory thank you notes on Monday to the two people who interviewed me. I immediately got a response back from the HR woman and she thanked me for the email. She said it was great meeting me and that she would be reaching out to me by Friday august 4 (today) regarding the next steps for the role. That was on Monday. It’s now Friday night and I never heard a word all week. Not even a “we decided to go with another candidate whose qualifications more closely align with the position”. I heard nothing. Just silence. I cried on my one hour commute home. I must just come across as unlikable or once they saw me they thought I’m too old. I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m super depressed because I really wanted that job. It would have been a six minute drive versus a 60 minute drive. The building was pretty. It was nice and quiet. The president of the company seemed really nice. I am totally qualified for the job. This is the fourth time in a row that I’ve been rejected for a job. I guess I’m done job searching. I’m stuck driving 100 miles a day for the next ten years to a job that I despise.
I'm too afraid to go back to any therapist as I've been abused by them aswell. I'm sure as soon as they see I lack self esteem and confidence I'm an open book to them. Remember a lot of narcissists go into this profession too. It normally starts after the 3rd session. Im sure there must be some who continue to go back to these people as it must seem normal to them 😢
I've had little therapy compared to what I went through (borderline mother) There are a lot of incompetent therapists out there. I was verbally attacked by the first one I went to at about 21. I think I was much too complex for her. I didn't go again for 25 years. No lie. That one was very good. I know it's expensive. But if one isn't feeling right, go to another. Never stay if they don't feel right.
So true.
Hello...unfortunately, I have heard this as well from others. I'm so sorry that this was your experience with therapists. Thank you for taking the time to watch.
Yes! Agreed. Find someone else if it is not a good fit for you or if you feel that you are being re-traumatized.
I personally don't like therapists, I saw one a few times, never felt an ounce better and always want to throw people on pills.
All of the boxes are ticked. Romantic relationships are a nightmare. Rollercoaster of emotions. The easy option is to not get involved 😢. But, I will eventually work it out, I’m determined too.
Thanks for watching :)
Everything is right on here. I actually thought when my dad was kicking the crap out of me and my mon cheering him on, this was attention and love. How messed up was that..
how about when both parents are narcissistic and I'm an INFJ ??? who whata journey !
I really struggle with self care. This should be on the list.
Agreed! Thanks for the suggestion 😊
Check, check, check and check.
Thanks for watching!
I do alot better when I'm at least 100 miles away from my parent. When I'm in the same physical proximity it's very hard ... Ughhh, such horrible people. They always tell you the the monster is a stranger but to be born to the biggest, most evil obstacle of your life is just something people who have normally healthy parents will never understand how hard it is
It is very difficult to understand if you haven’t experienced a narcissistic relationship. Thanks for the comment :)
It has been a learning process with emotional intimacy and vulnerability, trying to not always be a people pleaser and to make sure to stick to boundaries that are set.
Agreed! It’s definitely a process. Thanks for watching!
At 60 and after 30 years of therapy, I remain terribly damaged with no meaningful emotional connection with the world. I am simply doomed.
Have you ever tried looking up your astrological natal chart? The abuse I experience is in mine as well as the consequences of it, and what I'm here to work on. I couldn't believe it. This goes way beyond your sun sign. Like, my waning moon in Scorpio makes everyone become envious of me, and more Scorpionic/Plutonic towards me, and they also act like I'm doing the same to them. That's just one example. I'm still studying my chart, so much is there, and I started looking into it in 2019 because Sloan Bella here on YT said, "Cancer is the most abandoned, adopted, and orphaned sign in the zodiac," and I thought, 'Gee, I wonder how much Cancer I have?'
Well, it turns out my North Node (North Star of Fate) is in Cancer in my 1st house of Self. This is a very rare position and it means I'm really on my own in this life and have to figure things out for myself. And that is what I have to do to balance out my karma.
I use astrotheme the most but cafe astrology is good too, and there are so many videos helping to explain anything you want to know that's in your chart as well. You can just put what you see in the Search bar here on YT, like "Scorpio Moon'. Astrology has elevated my healing to a whole new level.
Oh yeah, I have to finish listening to Sloan's video on Sinead O'Connor. I learn so much from celebrity's birth charts too.
@@marcN19 I just don't see that anymore. Thanks though.
This is my first time here. I have been in and out of counseling for many many years. To me this is spot on. I learn them and try to heal but some how, some way people pleasing, picking unhealthy relations, etc. I'm am stronger and I am able to make stronger boundaries. Can't wait to hear more of your content. Changing me is the only way I find peace and joy so I may go on.
Thanks for watching!
Literally 100% accurate top to bottom.
Both parents were narcissists and hurt each other through their shared custody kids. Both have passed and have left behind an intense legacy of chaos.
The people-pleasing stuff is complicated and has all kinds of levels from trying to ameliorate the dysregulated parent or sibling with emotional issues to empathic response to witnessing the neediness and emotional pain of those close to you. Then there are your own needs that don't get addressed so the hope is that if you are nice enough you might be able to receive some kinds of crumbs of love or affection. Ugh! TY for the video.
Yup. My dad waited all his life for my mother to love him back and she never did. And never is a long time.
@@engleharddinglefester4285 ain't it though.
One thing that can also happen and more frequently than is ever mentioned is that the victim also becomes a naracissist. They can be the most cruel and unloving person you will ever meet. They are still trying to please their parents and will put their "unappoved" spouse through years of hell.
I've read that growing up in an abusive household either turns us into Ns or empaths. So, if they're abusive, they're probably a malignant N. Sorry.
Thank you.❤
People pleaser..... anxiety and self worth.... healing from it all now...thank you
Thanks for watching :)
Thank you 😊
On a good day, age 70, I reread a poem I wrote two years ago.
“Today
Today feels unburdened
Light and free at a cellular level churnin.
My heart filtering trauma remnants
Fragmentation broken freeing embedment.
Turning ashen darkness abyss from surreal
To awareness of a safe oasis appeals.
Mystery lurking to what each day reveals
One day treading water
today feels like spring.
Spring sprouting tiny buds excitedly
Love for my children feeds my entire heart and heart strings.
Sigh of relief
I’m embracing this thing
The thing that buries the trauma in a bottomless bracket sealed lockring.
Oh the joy
When a quote is sent by my dearest friend,
My soul sister, bound by creativity,
unhinged from societal proclivities.
“Strong women aren’t born,
They’ve forged through fires
They’ve had to walk through.
They’re warriors with hearts of gold”words by silver ravenwolf”
I’m a warrior,
trauma generational cyclical destroyer,
Learning to walk alone through the narrow doorway of new dreams
Dropping deadbeat toxic friends and family at my feet.
A ball of string resembles clutching this set of familiar toxicity close to my heart
I don’t unravel it
I burn the ball scorching all remains for my fresh start.
Today is the day I choose to navigate
Not yesterday or tomorrow that is susceptible to self flagellate.
Today is the day I cherish the crew
handpicked trusted loved ones
Who love honor respect
Most assuredly cherish me through and through. “
On a rough day on the path to healing the following poem I wrote describes my lens
When you fear both parents
Revised 5/3/22
“When you fear both parents”
“I’m tired of being afraid”
I remind myself, “You’re safe your parents are dead,”
Bombarding trauma memories trapped in a dendritic cluster thread.
“You must move on -heal”
The mental doctors say,
I would if I could
even for a day.
I was a bad little girl
father and mother groomed me to feel.
All I did was breathe
They made that simple task-surreal.
Left “I-ran-away-notes”
no one read,
No one missed me for hours
Back home,
ate dinner,
cleaned up,
then bed.
I’m 69 with lovely grown children, supportive friends, some family who believe my truth, a husband who cares…
I don’t know how to just be, who am I?
still always scared.
The 3am jarring awake
triggers ricocheting trauma pellets in my brain
Shut up I scream
But the scream is only in my head
my dead parents reside there still
not me, instead.
It’s 3:30am.
Why the f@$# can’t I sleep?
My war zone was home
Okay, I suffered parental abuse
PTSD
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
I just want to sleep
Why was I such a wimp
Why didn’t I fight for my life
How did I fall victim to their brainwashing strife?
They’re gone that history should have been cremated in their fiery demise,
Their ghosts invade my awake, my dreams, and in the early morn, I hate their surprise.
My life should know peace now,
recognize love from all those close to me,
Some how?
Why is my mind body so blindly numb
I have a new foundation of healthy effortless unconditional love
to trust.
Why still all the repetitive suffocating alternate universe memories in me,
still are thrust?
My second chance with those who believe my truth
FUEL effective sustenance,
Why so difficult to deduce?
Soon I hope before I’m dead,
my crippled shredded heart
Will be woven back with these loving threads.
Arms raised at this finish line
my post PTSD existence,
hopefully soon will be sublime. “
To all of us warriors fighting to find the peace, calm, worthy essence, I send you love. It’s a roller coaster existence that we need to tell each other how brave we really are. We broke the cycle. We were always coming from kindness in our hearts. I don’t know what a truly safe loving upbringing would have been like to impact me differently. I do know that deep down I cherish me, and I am so grateful I did not turn out like my narci mother or brother, or my molesting father.
My molestation made me more alert to keep my two children safe as a single parent. I never thought I would turn those quicksand memories around. When darkness falls try to hold on to being gently kind to yourself. It’s a very bumpy hurtful journey as you all know and our life preserver is being gently kind and forgiving of ourselves. I don’t forgive my parents or my five brothers. I forgive me on a daily basis because it’s me I always blamed.
❤❤❤
Your poem is beautiful. Thanks for sharing it with us and thanks for watching!
All of these. Thank you for sharing ✨
Thanks for watching!
All jump out. I have been working on it, but it sure does take a lot of time and effort. Great video. Not one wasted word! My area seems to not have specialists. I am relocating so maybe I can find one at my new residence. You are so spot on!
I grew up in a narcissistic home.
4 older brothers and no chance for the youngest to succeed
I'm the youngest and I came to the conclusion that if I had outdone them in any way it would have been much worse for me. Sorry about your situation too.
@@websurfer5772 It still is.
As a young adult I had some success as an duathlete. My family saw it as a waste of time. I was so toxified as a young person I had a difficult time giving myself any credit at all. I still do
Great information. Thank you.
Thanks for watching!
So happy your channel came up in my feed! Such sound advice!! Thank you.
Thanks for watching 😊
Yeah my Dad has to be a Narcissist. I still love him but even the good things done by him are starting to line up with things I'm reading up on.
I have experienced and work through all of these.
Thank you for bringing all these feelings and patterns into simple words.
Thanks for watching!
Great video!
Thanks for the visit!
Other than being a "people pleaser" (stopped that nonsense in my 20's), this checks out. Although, my estranged birth giver used escapism to deal with issues. That, and I was her personal therapist, starting at a very young age. She wanted a mini me, and we fell out more and more when I asserted my independence and learned more about who I am and how I actually feel about things. (She was more offended by me leaving the religion, than coming out as gay)
Good job. I like this video because it's easy to keep track of the effects since you went over them quickly, yet thoroughly. I am working on trying to get my peace of mind back now since my parents died, and the others connected to them are out of my life.
Extremely helpful and exactly what I needed today, thank you.
Thank you!
Boundaries key points thank you
Very welcome!
My first video with you. Thank you for sharing .
Thanks for watching 😊
Thank you.
You're welcome!
Great video ❤
Thanks for watching :)
My mother and my sister are both narcissists and I have nothing to do with my sister, but I looked after my mother for years. She at 96 is still that way. I stuffed my life because of all this, it's been a terrible time, and she is still like it. My father was a wonderful man! Always wished he was home and Mum worked. She is not compassionate, seems to like it when I am having problems with things, she never wants to talk about anything and she never is interested in discussing anything. Cuts me off saying oh, you're over emotional! I heard that as a child too.
I’m in the same boat - and yes my story is the same as yours. My sister is 12 years older and just like my mother - stone cold. I too am taking care of my mother at age 93 and yet at times, I feel for this woman who had alcoholic parents. So many forget that the world had come out of a world war and many men returning home were never the same. Those marriages down the road were not perfect either and so many children suffered as a result.
@@jogordon1530 my mother's parents were totally different from each other. Her Mum was a beautiful woman of warmth, her father, not one of us liked due to his nature. Nothing to do with war, it's just nature. My father was in WWII, and his nature was wonderful. It's funny though, it's always us, that look after them, never their twin in nature, because they don't care less, like my sister. They don't love each other, it's just that they think people like us are weak, so we get the abuse all our lives and the hurt. I am glad I have faith in Jesus, for He knows the truth and hopefully we both we be rewarded for our loving, loyal natures. My mother had no reason to be like she is, she always did it easy. I just am like my Dad who suffered in silence, but stayed until the end, and I was there for him daily as he really cared about me. My mother is more of a job now, unfortunately.
@@vivrowe2763 My dad was a quiet man - I was born late in life - youngest of 4 - dad was a WW2 vet. Dad could fix anything and yet never held it over anyone. My mother on the other hand is like my sister or vice versa - entitled all the way. Jane was the eldest, was daddy’s girl and yet even today tells me I was the spoiled brat. I do believe God gives us the strength to carry us onward as we continue to service our aging parents and like you, I know my father cared about us kids. Mom really didn’t want any of us because as we know, she was more important than all of us combined! Yup!
@@jogordon1530 I was the youngest of 3. My Dad was quiet too, also very handy. He copped a lot from Mum throughout the marriage, but never lifted his hand to her. He too, had it bad. We became very close and we were both each other's mate for many years and his loss was immense for me. I always wished that Mum worked and Dad was home, but no, she was always home. There was no excuse for her nature and her inability to be a real Mum.
You're vibration is wonderful your voice soothes me. Thank you for being healthy and creating these videos
Thank you ☺️
My childhood memories are like chewed up cini film - I couldn't begin to diagnose my parents..... I check all your boxes but I check a lot of boxes - sigh -
You are doing such a great job!! Thank you so much! I have been raised by a narcissist father your video has helped me a lot.
Thanks for watching!
Thank you!
Thank you!
I don't know if my mom was a narcissist. But I do know that I struggled with feeling love by her, and I do have all these symptoms.
I have come very far in healing. I am 53, no longer have a relationship with my parents.. My biggest issue is.. the longing of wanting them and haunting dreams.. I just don't know how to stop this
Checked every box.
I appreciate you watching.
I can relate to everything described here to the point where it makes me cringe.😢
I am sure I have complex ptsd.
My only comment is that a narcissistic parent came from a narcissistic parent. Compassion is needed to understand the cycle. Videos like this provide awareness and empowerment for change. Thank you Rebecca.
Baloney...
My mother was a spoiled best...
The "hurt people hurt people"
myth
VERY WRONG
Brat not best
It's been my observation in the 5 decades I've lived so far on this planet that people play out their childhood programming in adulthood. And compassion is good if you're in a happy, healthy mindset all the time. Otherwise, I think it's better to focus on healing yourself, and not let your empathy get you twisted in knots by trying to be understanding of your abuser(s).
I’m 70. I’m long past healing.
100 % the truth......😢
Thanks for watching!
Whoa. This is me!
Some people don't have the financial resources to get professional help. I will be stuck living with my narc parents forever, as I have chronic health issues which prevent me from being able to earn a lot of money and get help. This makes it impossible to heal.
Would it be possible to fo a video on how to establish and set healthy boundaries with people .❤
Yes! A video on BOUNDARIES will be coming soon. Thanks for watching!
@@rebeccajohnsonlmhc Thank you ✨💜✨
Walk away quietly and find peace. ✌️
Thank you for watching!
But it was the mother inlaw with the purse
Wow - all of these just hit me like a baseball bat. My mother was the one who treated us kids like shit unless she was taking us out for some reason - showing us off. At 58 what does the mental health expert expect to change in me? I’m already damaged.
Depression suffer who has battled bulimia for 17 years. My question is how do you get her voice out your head? My mother said to me " The sight of you sickens me ". This is the most horrible existence. I wish never been born. I'm just a waste of Air.
I am so sorry this has been your experience. I definitely recommend finding a therapist who specializes in narcissistic abuse and utilizes CBT.
All of the above 😢
I think sometimes ADHD can also be confused with Narcisism. The inability to effectively control emotions can be seen as the rage portrayed by a narcissist. The surge of hyperactivity can be seen as grandstanding and the search for a dopamine hit can lead to addictions often seen in narcissistic people. Forgetfulness / hyperfocus on certain things can make ADHDers appear unempathetic in certain situations. Just my 2 cents ❤
Yes there can be an overlap with a lot of conditions. If someone’s behaviour is inappropriate occasionally under times of stress they’re not a narcissist. It think narcissistic behaviour contains a level of sustained sophisticated manipulation. I do wonder if the inadvertent neglect from parents with undiagnosed ADHD can lead to narcissism in kids with manipulative personalities.
i am from india and my mother is a narcissist.....
in india there are problems in getting jobs it is not easy to go no contact because there is uncertainty...
i feel i am also a narcissist becuase of her....i feel like there should be perfect career for me...that is one reason i maybe am fearful that if i take a job now i will be less than people will see me as nothing...
i also feel fear because they manipulated me and made me belive without them i am nothing....
i have no capability and strength to do good in any job...
also want me to make them feel superior with my accomplishments....
i am living with them and i am isolated my home is hell....
i can't be me...
also deep down i feel i am not enough and my worth depends on my career and my capability...
I hope you can find support to navigate your recovery. Thanks for watching.
There’s also cptsd
I find it interesting that the narc parents always seem to want the most abused and neglected child to care for them when they get old. I told mine to go fish. She ended up with her worthless son she idolized in front of my sister and me our whole lives and lol, she was better off under a bridge. Next thing we know, she is telling everyone her kids abandoned her and she gave money she stole from us to strangers who believed her BS. She ended up alone, friendless, hateful and evil, as she was her whole life.
Damn! Every. Single. One. Not only did I have narcissistic parents,I married a narcissistic man! I stayed married to that SOB for 35 years. I finally realized it was because I didn’t know I didn’t deserve to be treated that way-it’s all I ever knew. He never took responsibility for what he did. For example,when I learned he had taken his secretary to a co-workers wedding (the woman I knew he was having an affair with-which he steadfastly denied. Later found an email between them that clearly spelled it out) and lied to me about where he was going (said he was going “fishing with a friend”) I asked him how he squared this with his conscious. He looked at me,confused,and said “I didn’t think I had to” that summed up his entire behavior towards me. I deserved no respect,no acknowledgement….I meant absolutely nothing to him. I hate my parents for setting me up for this huge failure. More than anything,I hate myself for being ME.
BTW,my parents are long dead. I only wish I had had a conversation with them while they were still alive,but I didn’t understand the damage they caused until they were gone. Like not seeing the forest for the trees,I guess. Same with the ex.
Thank you so much for your time Dr.Johnson. I definitely need some counseling although I think I had this sort of figured out although it really is not anyone's fault in my case.
It is almost as if you knew my life story, although I stilldon't
I mean I was also adopted, I knew my mother was 16 when she had me but recently, I found out my aunts were 14 and 18 at the time of my birth, my grandfather, their father, was a drunk and their mother, my grandmother, just died before i was born.
Needless to say my womb time was full of stress hormones, and I cannot imagine my mother or aunts were in peaceful head spaces.
Then I am put into foster care for my first 6 months, no cuddle time or mommy milk.
My mother adopts me , she is 35 and immediately goes through a full hysterectomy which I remember her going crazy from hormones and what not but what could she do, still little me is getting his ass kicked, not really lol but psychologically and emotionally.
Dad was 10 years older than my mother, 45 at the time of my birth and a push over, so Mom felt she had to be the man so to speak and the result was her being way overbearing.
Grade school was tough, mom liked dolls and what not, was from Ireland, and much older, so holidays i was dressed up like a shamrock, turkey sweater, etc, bullied, only child, problems with authority.
Maybe 9yrs old tried acting/dancing etc. was very ambitious, knew I was intelligent etc but had no confidence, at some point I had to choreograph a routine, got scared and made up an excuse that i did not want to go back, my parents were like ok, lol.
Same story Karate at 11, got in a jam, made an excuse wanted to quit, OK, I do not remember an argument.
It's like my parents never stopped me, whatever I wanted to do, stop, go, np, I think they were happy to save the money IDK.
So now low confidence, bullied, like 12 or 13 turn to drugs and the burnout tough guys, rehab by 15.
self-control
Sorry you went through all that. Your story is very similar to mine.
@@websurfer5772 Thanks, me too, same to you.
Gods Blessings to you.
How do you find a therapist when there's a sea of profiles to wade through? What questions should one ask when seeking help? Obviously all of these things lead to an adult (me, here) that is utterly unable to ask for help without apologizing profusely and running away before anything really gets done. I'm in 40's now and just so sick of myself sometimes because as hard as I try to just soldier my way out of it, I always fall back into these behaviors.
Would be helpful if you do a video how to establish boundaries. I’m not sure what lack of boundaries means, really.
Check out my video, “How to Set Boundaries with a Narcissistic Parent.” Thanks for watching:)
wow, like looking in a mirror. my worst problem is boundries
I just started therapy for the second time. I have been diagnosed with CPTSD and am 61 years old. My story is too long and complicated to give a quick synopsis. My therapist told me I had to be an "incredibly strong person because I shouldn't be sane." Well, that's debatable.
I want to heal and move forward but I'm scared that the harm is so deep that my life is just over. I'm completely overwhelmed and exhausted with this life.
Is it possible to be in too many pieces to fix?
Listen to the song Freedom by Jefferson Airplane
I know exactly how you feel and question that myself. I’m 58 and wonder why bother.
Everyone has one parent that is a Narcissist. Opposites attract. I am an empath.
How can one change the life circumstances and behavior patterns to healthy ones if one doesn't even have an idea what the latter look like?
I wonder if being a borderline could be causal relationship
How do you heal from this?
Hi, have you talked about can't do confrontation because of Mum?
Extreme aversion to it due to autism. 😢
Thanks for the question. I haven't discussed fear of confrontation in any of my videos but I have mentioned lack of self-esteem and self-worth - which may play into a fear of confrontation. I also think that a fear of confrontation comes from the programming that happens with a toxic parent. Over time you learn that if you bring up how you are feeling, if you have been hurt, or if you try to call them out on their toxic behaviors you are met with rage and blame-shifting. Quickly you figure out that it is not safe to confront them.
@@rebeccajohnsonlmhc Thank you, for your reply I appreciate it.
Will have a look at those.
I prefer the company of dangerous men instead of women because of this.
And autism, amplifies it by I don't know how much?
Really need to work on it, at 54 I still get close to vomiting just talking about confrontation!
@@rebeccajohnsonlmhcyes never do they change.. my mum is influenced heavy by my church going sister who claims she loves God.
you KNOW there's a God when he/she/it deals you a mother who abuses you and her power as a parent. life's such a gift, huh?
Finally dropped the people pleasing . Dropped the savior complex.
Does this also apply to narcissistic governments and employers?
Is it common to have one child who takes care of the parents in this type of relationship, and the sibling also be narcissistic?
I’m curious of what kind of help to look for? Obviously it’s going to be therapy, but my mother used therapists against me throughout my life and I don’t feel I can trust getting any kind of results from them anymore apart from just another flying monkey. I’ve had traps set for me when I try to leave my entire life, and get stalked down when I succeed. I sincerely ask that someone can point me in the right direction via msg or replying to this. I’ve let myself get cornered by her again and I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this.
Look for a therapist that has experience with narcissistic abuse. If they have had training in this area as well as in trauma, they will be able to support you well in healing. Find someone that can offer tools to help you cope and establish boundaries. I wish you well in your recovery!
How about how to heal from a narsasistic husband (40+ years…then I walked out).
In future videos I will talk about narcissistic partners. Thanks for watching :)
👍
Hi...my dad abd mum were narcs...i lost my little sister thriugh death sbd from there my parents got at me witg anger....my older suster started to bulky me and my mum said...she was only yoir sister she was my daughter when i cried our for help..im.48 and ive suffered depression over years and stopped me working. U married an abuser too as no confidence....
Met another abuser two years ago and ended it in dec..
Hun...have you any advice...my mum still critises me and i had to stop seeing her and suster who manipulated me against her. Mum said she couldn't see me alot as sister was jealous??!?!!!!
My mum has been mean and abusive. Never healed. Dad died and i said i love you dad just before he passed away.
Yet again my mum got at me on his funeral.
Is my mum a narc??? Yes....is my sister golden child...yes...... she wanred me ti play happy families..i am now at a stage i want to write the truth to my auntie whether she will tell my mum ir not. Mum has kept in touch wity my narcisstic abusive ex husband even! Yet he used my oldest son by taking him for five months
It hurts to know what you've been through.
I'm 41 now and my mum is also a narc.
Maybe u can try cutting ties from them totally. Be strong and be brave. Be financially independent whereby u can survive on your own somewhere out there.
I'm doing that now and with my mum being a narc, she's scared of being 'ditched' by me to live alone so she has toned down a bit in her narc actions.
If the people around u dun care a damn abt your feelings or well-being, be brave to live alone and cut off all connections.
Sometimes, be a loner makes my life better than being surrounded by toxic people.
I'm from an asian ctry and my family is a traditional one. Hence me cutting ties off is seen as a 'rebellion' but i dun care.😊
I enjoy living alone and dun mind dying alone, with my body found few days later.😅
I'm happier this way.
Hope all works well for u in the end.
Forgot to add on:
All my mum's sisters and brothers are on her side, so i'm the 'bad' child here.
N my sister is her golden child. Ha..😂 so basically i'm fighting this war on my own and i have NO regrets totally!
@@wateheckful thanks. My ex I ended in march I saw has got new gf. Looks obese vunerable. But has a home a car. So he never had these things so will be using her
@@wateheckful same here. I talk to potential bfs and I Mr tiin my family are not there for me and it makes them stop talking to me.
Establishing and maintaining boundaries is necessary.
What if you were raised by a narcissist and you became like them without recognizing it. Now you a narcissist aa well?? No way to change?
@@rogerdawson3675 I absolutely don't enjoy hurting people's feelings but I enjoy standing up for myself against bullying and bullshit and speaking out against injustice and ethics. I've been raised by a narcissist and I honestly say and admit it now I became a narcissist without realizing my toxic behaviors in the past. I'm 53 now and finally standing up against my toxic family particularly my narcissistic mother.
So....is a child of a narcissist a "dry" narcissist because of the emotional/psychological mechanisms that they were "raised" in? I fear this is a never-ending passed down curse to some degree, depending on the genetics of each victim. God help us.