Parental Alienation, the abuse explained, unapologetically - from an alienated parent - speech

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  • Опубліковано 6 тра 2024
  • A powerful unapologetic speech. At the Parental Alienation Awareness Conference on 27th April 2024, The Grange Hotel, Brent Knoll, Somerset UK - Jack Goodings' speech to alienated parents and grandparents. An alienated parent, estranged parent, alienated adult child, narcissist abuse survivor - Jack Goodings (MEd.L, BEd, BA), trustee for Parental Alienation Awareness, explains perfectly and openly what the parental alienation abuse is like on the alienated parent.
    For more information, contact us through our website www.paawareness.co.uk
    FB: Parental Alienation Awareness (PAAwarenessUK)
    Facebook county support groups: / groups
    Twitter X: PAAwarenessUK
    info@paawareness.co.uk
    Jack Goodings: somerset@paawareness.co.uk
    UK Helpline: 020 3778 1171
    #parentalalienation #narcissisticabuseawareness #conference

КОМЕНТАРІ • 66

  • @Bungalow10
    @Bungalow10 21 день тому +20

    As an alienated single Dad, I have spent the last 15 years being lied about, made to live my retirement yrs very alone, my grandkids are kept from me, I have endured public humiliation, shunned too many times and after practically begging to come to the table and there's nothing we can't work together on. I have been left out of my kids families, from both of my kids who I lived for to provide with the best opportunities for a successful life and yet I still don't hear anything from them. I have had to resort to restarting my life without either child and I also discovered my own little sister has moved in on my kids to make herself out like their hero. I refuse to cower down to them and I am tired of wasting my life away on my kids.

    • @gnyc7284
      @gnyc7284 20 днів тому +5

      We all need to meet up online. I am not a parent- the parent did this to me. Abuse, isolation, gossip, bullying & now relatives are afraid of me.

  • @djhogan65
    @djhogan65 Місяць тому +30

    This speech is 100% correct. Most people cant grasp the systemic abuse alienated parents face...this is an accurate depiction of the injustice and maltreatment we face.

    • @georgiakritikos4955
      @georgiakritikos4955 21 день тому +2

      I Agree🎬, this Behavior COURT ASSISTED⭐️IS DISGUSTING, GROSS ABUSE FROM PICK POCKETS

  • @ABlessman
    @ABlessman 13 днів тому +11

    Thank you. The suicide rate is high. Because it is savagry. Torment. KNOWING the children are suffering but integratred into a delusional world where the heinously sadistic parent gets a blue ribbon pinned his chest by coersively controlled loyal subjects who are conditioned not to self- advovate... They have no agency.

  • @garygoodrick-meech3906
    @garygoodrick-meech3906 9 днів тому +6

    I originally thought I was alone and that this didn't affect anyone else. How wrong was I? If you are fortunate enough to not have experienced this I envy you so so much. This video puts into words what I and many alienated parents, siblings, grandparents and extended family and friends are put through by a resident parent and the flying monkeys engaged by the narcissist who rides rough-shod over their child/children to ruin the lives of those children and the family of the targeted parent. You can't imagine that. The role of Mum, Dad, Nan, Grandad, brother, sister, aunt or uncle has been removed in the blink of an eye. We didn't separate from our children. That action was carried out by others despite there being no safeguarding concerns. Allegations and police involvement never substantiated. Government, social services, medical and education authorities cancelling us. "IT'S LIKE YOUR CHILDREN DYING OVER AND OVER AGAIN FOR YEARS AND YEARS!" Well said, Mr Goodings

  • @martinberendson4466
    @martinberendson4466 22 дні тому +12

    Very well defined, but nobody listens to us, we need to turn the fan on and spread the news worldwide. There is an agenda behind this.

    • @jackgoodings
      @jackgoodings 22 дні тому

      Thank you. Yes, I agree, there's an agenda - it doesn't make sense and that shows there's a pathogen and an agenda

  • @ParentalAlienationAwareness
    @ParentalAlienationAwareness 2 місяці тому +16

    Very recognizable. 😥
    Even though the main target of this kind of abuse is the other parent, it's the effects on the children that are the most severe.
    As grown ups, with a previous history of a non abusive environment, the abused parent has something to fall back on, a pre-gaslight experience.
    The children though, they don't; they grow up, and are being shaped by a fictitious reality, affecting the rest of their lives.
    Responsible authorities - Please help children (and former spouses) from Cluster-B abuse!
    This kind of abuse IS documented in the DSM-5:
    - V995.51 Child Psychological Abuse
    - V995.82 Spouse or Partner Abuse, Psychological

    • @conceptobject
      @conceptobject Місяць тому +4

      Thank you

    • @recoveringsoul755
      @recoveringsoul755 15 днів тому

      I think the courts only care about the money. The long drawn out custody battles are expensive.
      But these poor children have a higher risk of suicide. For 40 years the courts have been giving full custody of abused children TO THE ABUSER. They know what they're doing

  • @Playbackrm100
    @Playbackrm100 26 днів тому +7

    Before clicking on this, I didn't expect this to be this DEEP!!!

  • @dflei7
    @dflei7 18 днів тому +8

    So true. New kind of pain.

  • @Wrent_Free
    @Wrent_Free 4 дні тому +4

    So many parents who refuse to respect their children's autonomy into adulthood. Who continue to see them as children who need parenting. See themselves as superior to them, and actively refuse to change in any meaningful way. Recognizing this situation is important. People deserve the right to separate themselves from abusive parents. Full stop.

    • @paawarenessuk
      @paawarenessuk  4 дні тому +1

      Yes indeed. But this is not what is happening in the situation we're speaking up about, and it's not what our charity is about. Many thanks for you valued comment.

    • @Wrent_Free
      @Wrent_Free 4 дні тому

      ​@paawarenessuk so how does your charity distinguish between a situation like what I mentioned where an adult child rightfully seeks separation and independence from an abusive parent, and a situation where a parent has been unjustly excluded from the lives of there adult children?

    • @paawarenessuk
      @paawarenessuk  3 дні тому

      @@Wrent_Free Thank you for your question. We're not here to distinguish between the two or help them get their children back - we're here to raise awareness, to help them regain some sense of reality, to teach them what's happening i.e. narcissistic abuse, to validate, help them learn what's needed for when their child returns, and to help them bring some basic quality of wellbeing back into their daily lives before they sink too low and take their own lives in many cases. That said, how does one distinguish between the two .. The child's age is a good place to start. Age 6 months. Age 3. Age 8. Age 13 .. ages too young to make the rational decision to 'estrange'. These 'parentified' children who also use adult words, the words of the gatekeeping parent, information they should not have knowledge of (like details of the breakup, or finances etc.) are not common to the child's vocabulary or context. Other ways one can distinguish are looking at the timeline, also hearing how the child has treated the parent. Also, listen to Jack Goodings, the words he's saying is not common to what happens with abusive parent / child dynamic; the abusive parent generally has others around them believing the rejected parent is the abusive one - the rejected parent finds him/herself often isolated and falling into deep depression, with others pointing fingers. Abused parents don't tend to speak up. Abused children also do not reject a parent, typically, without other influence. And at the house, a non abusive parent would not typically erase the 'other' parent. Dr Amy Baker's 17 Alienating Behaviours, that might be a good reference point in answer to your valid question; these 17 behaviours are commonplace textbook, but there are more. This is not about 'estrangement' from abusive parent. It could be 'estrangement' from the way the parent has reacted to the rejection and abuse, but it comes initially from alienation, the parent has already been rejected, where there was a prior good relationship and no safeguarding issue. Your question is a good one, and it's one that these abused parents sadly are dealing with also. There are parents out there who's adult children estrange from them out of necessity, but there's a lot of grief with that, it takes a lot, years generally (due to the trauma bonding effects) and it doesn't present itself the same way as alienation. Thank you for your comment, I hope this answer has been helpful.

  • @sarahw6772
    @sarahw6772 День тому +2

    It's very isolating. Your family, friends, coworkers (pretty much everyone) will not show up. They may say it's wrong, be unset about it but then will never ask you again how you're doing.

    • @paawarenessuk
      @paawarenessuk  День тому +1

      Yes, it is Sarah. This is why we're bringing people together in UK, each county. It's true isn't it, it's the loneliest place. And then folk will post on here that we're all getting our facts wrong, that we don't know what we're talking about .. you, us, all of us who have experienced it. They'll post facts from searches they did on the Internet, but we're the ones who can say what it's like, the ones who have all experienced it and are listening to each other telling the same things. Keep well. Jack

  • @blacksheepbear6382
    @blacksheepbear6382 7 днів тому +2

    Love you all, praying for you all. No one can know the horrors unless they experience it, especially fathers who’s most base duty is to protect his child. It will break you in every way imaginable. Ways you didn’t know you could be broken.

    • @jackgoodings
      @jackgoodings 7 днів тому +1

      Thank you. Yes, it's enough to break a person in every way imaginable. You're all in my / our prayers also. Jack

  • @TheThinkingMathematician
    @TheThinkingMathematician 2 місяці тому +8

    Thank you so much for sharing this online.

  • @IRISHWINECOOP
    @IRISHWINECOOP 2 місяці тому +7

    so much Gratitude

  • @meohash1
    @meohash1 7 днів тому +1

    Well spoken thank you

    • @jackgoodings
      @jackgoodings 7 днів тому

      Thank you. From the heart. It was an incredible conference with over 60 alienated parents and grandparents there

  • @meohash1
    @meohash1 7 днів тому +1

    Well said

    • @jackgoodings
      @jackgoodings 7 днів тому

      Thank you. The day was incredible

  • @Occupied_South
    @Occupied_South 27 днів тому +3

    Powerful

  • @AYKAY88
    @AYKAY88 Місяць тому +10

    some parents are not good for their children.

    • @jackgoodings
      @jackgoodings Місяць тому +2

      Hard to realize that, it's true though isn't it. Thank you for that comment

    • @georgiakritikos4955
      @georgiakritikos4955 Місяць тому

      Parental ALIENATION is court assisted, A NATIONAL EMERGENCY />>FOR INVESTIGATION

    • @georgiakritikos4955
      @georgiakritikos4955 Місяць тому +3

      Children need Both Parents ❤

    • @AYKAY88
      @AYKAY88 Місяць тому

      @@georgiakritikos4955 children need healthy parents

    • @ruthbarnes9999
      @ruthbarnes9999 24 дні тому +3

      Some parents also never should have had children

  • @georgiakritikos4955
    @georgiakritikos4955 18 днів тому +2

    Excellent ❤Sir

  • @jennydrozd29
    @jennydrozd29 25 днів тому +5

    How do I find out about future gatherings? I really need to meet more folks who understand.

    • @paawarenessuk
      @paawarenessuk  18 днів тому

      In UK, each county has a PA support group, found through Facebook and info@paawareness.co.uk. These conferences you're watching here (the speech from Jack Goodings) are annually. The last one was in Somerset.

  • @georgiakritikos4955
    @georgiakritikos4955 18 днів тому +1

    I TESTIFIED AT THE MASSACHUSETTS SENATE HOUSE AGAINST SALEM PROBATE MASSACHUSETTS COURT ❤️

    • @jackgoodings
      @jackgoodings 18 днів тому

      I don't know much about that Georgia. How did it go?

  • @belindaoconnor516
    @belindaoconnor516 27 днів тому +2

    Thanks for validating

  • @jackgoodings
    @jackgoodings 21 день тому +1

    I'm so sorry. 17 years here. I'm glad to hear you don't cower down to them .. that's good .. because not cowering down doesn't solve anything either and nothing changes then. To keep speaking up about what's right, that causes difficulties, but needs to be done to wake people up to this .. and at some point, hopefully our children in later life will start having lightbulb moments .. and we can at least try to stop it from our grandchildren or their children having to go through this. Keep well. Jack

  • @annabatista8944
    @annabatista8944 15 днів тому +1

    23 years here.

    • @jackgoodings
      @jackgoodings 15 днів тому +2

      I'm so sorry Anna. This is a whole added load of issues on top of the first lot of the grieving, isn't it. The grief doesn't go away does it, even after my 17 years, even after your 23 years .. and even when / if they return after so many years. I think I need to do a video on this. Thank you for sharing this. Keep well. Jack

    • @pattirubin1348
      @pattirubin1348 8 днів тому

      16 years. I'm over it. My heart has closed the door. I'm now free and I have no shame. I have no guilt. My life, my soul are now mine.

    • @susannes3254
      @susannes3254 6 днів тому

      @@jackgoodingsyes- this would be so helpful. The grieving for the many years lost, memories missed, bonds with grandchildren never made. The grief is so real and unbearable at times. The not knowing outcomes, questioning if this will last forever, fear to get our hopes up at reconciliation, etc. And social media makes it all the more torturous if your adult child posts pics of the grandchild you’ve never met, with all of the other relatives enjoying time with her. All I can do is pray for my daughters heart to open up to seeing the truth, and for the safety of my granddaughter as she is now in the middle of it and has no idea that I exist.

  • @Bungalow10
    @Bungalow10 21 день тому +1

    What is going on with the generation bc it seems to have started up with the millineal Gen??

    • @jackgoodings
      @jackgoodings 21 день тому

      Yes. It's somehow become so much worse now. I believe a lot to do with it is media, Internet, school and the ability to do so, with solicitors stirring the pot, and our legal system enabling and condoning this.

    • @jennydrozd29
      @jennydrozd29 18 днів тому +3

      @@jackgoodings It's more about people not giving a shit what affects their children. Only caring/being able to see their own feelings/ how it affects them. It's a problem with severe insecurity. Thinking you need to fully tear someone else down in order to be viewed as valuable? Boomers fucked their kids up pretty badly.

  • @georgiakritikos4955
    @georgiakritikos4955 18 днів тому +1

    Sir , I had two children with 2 different men who have the same character ok
    1. One father some trouble no problem
    2. The other father same stuff, but court assisted PICK DE POCKETS SO MUCH THE TOOK MY SON COURT ASSISTED BY NON PROTECTIVE REASONS, 15 JUDGES LOOK8NG FOR A PLATE OF FOOD & A DRINK IN THEIR HANDS? SO DISGUSTING 🎬SEGREGATION COURT ASSISTED FOR A MEAL IS UNCONSTITUTIONAL
    SIR🚨
    COURT ASSISTED 🎥 TO RIPP OFF CHILDREN IS COMMUNISM