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PA Awareness
United Kingdom
Приєднався 13 тра 2020
Our charity's aims are to raise awareness, educate and campaign against Parental Alienation. Promoting a culture of equality, reducing discrimination for parents and their families when accessing child related services and/or the family court system during divorce, separation or child contact disputes; reducing the impact on children experiencing family breakdown
Our other objectives are to provide literature and educate through training and media on this topic, providing information to parents and/or signposting to other relevant statutory and voluntary agencies when required.
We hold an annual event for Parental alienation awareness day, this is held on the 25th April each year as part of a global campaign to raise awareness, highlighting this issue in the UK.
Our other objectives are to provide literature and educate through training and media on this topic, providing information to parents and/or signposting to other relevant statutory and voluntary agencies when required.
We hold an annual event for Parental alienation awareness day, this is held on the 25th April each year as part of a global campaign to raise awareness, highlighting this issue in the UK.
Why children turn against alienated parent | narcissistic abuse | explained in context
Here's an explanation I've not yet heard, but whey you watch this video, it all makes sense with the narcissist (alienating parent), your alienated children and how / why your children are now treating you badly. We read the theoretical explanations for why alienated children turn against the targeted parent, and how the brain works. But I'm going to explain in context, to help you 'see' why and how your alienated children have been manipulated into rejecting and treating you badly. I'll be referring back to before the breakup and how you yourself, as one trying to navigate through chaos and abuse, were weaponised against the children by a narcissist.
somerset@paawareness.co.uk / info@paawareness.co.uk
The UK Helpline number is 020 3778 1171
Option 2 emotional support
Mon-Thur 6-9pm
Visit PA Awareness for more information, Charity registration:1187738:
www.paawareness.co.uk
PAA Facebook: PAAwarenessUK
PAA UA-cam: @paawarenessuk
Twitter X: PAAwarenessUK
Take Stuart Graham's accredited CAFTT course: www.caftt.co.uk/
#parentalalienation #narcissisticabuseawareness #childabuseawareness
somerset@paawareness.co.uk / info@paawareness.co.uk
The UK Helpline number is 020 3778 1171
Option 2 emotional support
Mon-Thur 6-9pm
Visit PA Awareness for more information, Charity registration:1187738:
www.paawareness.co.uk
PAA Facebook: PAAwarenessUK
PAA UA-cam: @paawarenessuk
Twitter X: PAAwarenessUK
Take Stuart Graham's accredited CAFTT course: www.caftt.co.uk/
#parentalalienation #narcissisticabuseawareness #childabuseawareness
Переглядів: 244
Відео
How to cope on Fathers Day 2024 | Parental Alienation | An Important Message from dad to dad | Grief
Переглядів 2642 місяці тому
It's Father's Day. This might be your first time without your children, a very tough time. It might be two years, five, 10 years or more. However long, it doesn't make Father's Day a very pleasant time - either incredibly traumatic, or numb and a bit empty. Here's my message for you today, on how to cope and what to do with Father's Day - YOUR day. This 2024, it's been 17 years for me. info@paa...
Grandparents Alienation Awareness Day 2024
Переглядів 6972 місяці тому
14th June every year marks a day to consider the grandparents out there who have lost their grandchildren, denied access to them, where the grandparent is safe, where there was a loving relationship, or where they have never seen their grandchildren - because the parent (adult child) has made the decision for the child to keep that grandchild away from the grandparents. This is not where the gr...
Where we stand with the term 'Parental Alienation', narcissistic abuse, grandparents, spiritual
Переглядів 5233 місяці тому
There are many views on Parental Alienation. I, Jack Goodings, have my own views around Parental Alienation, and I speak about them in this video. My articulation of 'parental alienation' is based on the verb 'alienate' in terms of language, not labels - I don't follow along with the 'PA phenomenon', we don't need to and it can create issues, although I realise it's helpful to be mindful of it ...
Debi Richens | Grief Management | Parental Alienation Awareness Day Conference 2024
Переглядів 2443 місяці тому
Debi Richens, founder of The Relationship Phoenix, is an alienation and estrangement coach in England, UK, who specialises in the area of damaged family relationships. She coaches family members who find themselves in malicious and conflicting relationships with their ex-partners and older/adult children. Our second speaker, speaking about how to manage the anxiety from the grief of being alien...
Parental Alienation, the abuse explained, unapologetically - from an alienated parent - speech
Переглядів 6 тис.4 місяці тому
A powerful unapologetic speech. At the Parental Alienation Awareness Conference on 27th April 2024, The Grange Hotel, Brent Knoll, Somerset UK - Jack Goodings' speech to alienated parents and grandparents. An alienated parent, estranged parent, alienated adult child, narcissist abuse survivor - Jack Goodings (MEd.L, BEd, BA), trustee for Parental Alienation Awareness, explains perfectly and ope...
PAA Day, Conference 2024. Introduction - Explaining who Parental Alienation Awareness is
Переглядів 1844 місяці тому
On 27th April 2024, Parental Alienation Awareness held it's first ever in-person conference (previous four were online, Zoom). Held at The Grange Hotel, Brent Knoll, Somerset UK - a great location, a superb turnout, a powerful conference event for alienated parents and alienated grandparents. Many guest speakers talking about Attachment, Alienation, Legal, Grief Management, Using Creativity to ...
Erasing the Extended Family, the entire Genealogy, from parental alienation
Переглядів 864 місяці тому
When one parent coerces, manipulates and brainwashes a child to disconnect from the other parent, erasing the other parent, that's parental alienation. When one parent attempts to do so, even if the child has not internalized it, that's parental alienation. When a parent severs the child's relationship with the other parent by relocating, and allows for the connection to diminish, that's parent...
When your estranged alienated adult child returns - tips for success - looking after 'you'
Переглядів 3764 місяці тому
When your estranged alienated adult child returns - tips for success - looking after 'you' Jack Goodings talks about the first meeting with your alienated estranged adult child, and tips for a successful outcome. It's highly likely that your estranged alienated adult child will return. This may be months, it may be years. How well the first and next meetings go depends on you. This video gives ...
"I'm about to meet my estranged alienated child". Tips to help with this challenging moment.
Переглядів 1,9 тис.4 місяці тому
"I'm about to meet my estranged alienated child". Tips to help with this challenging moment.
Parental Alienation Awareness UK Event 27th April 2024 | FREE | Parental Alienation Day 25th April
Переглядів 614 місяці тому
Parental Alienation Awareness UK Event 27th April 2024 | FREE | Parental Alienation Day 25th April
"What do I do when my estranged alienated adult child contacts me" - what it could look like
Переглядів 3,4 тис.5 місяців тому
"What do I do when my estranged alienated adult child contacts me" - what it could look like
Easter message from parental alienation awareness
Переглядів 1655 місяців тому
Easter message from parental alienation awareness
PA Awareness support group session with Q and A
Переглядів 1836 місяців тому
PA Awareness support group session with Q and A
E13 - Parental alienation researchers
Переглядів 806 місяців тому
E13 - Parental alienation researchers
E12 - Parental alienation in the DSM 5 and ICD - 11
Переглядів 1026 місяців тому
E12 - Parental alienation in the DSM 5 and ICD - 11
E11 - Dr Childress - why is parental alienation controversial
Переглядів 1056 місяців тому
E11 - Dr Childress - why is parental alienation controversial
E10 - Dr Childress's 3 Diagnostic Indicators
Переглядів 666 місяців тому
E10 - Dr Childress's 3 Diagnostic Indicators
E8 - Dr William Barnet's 5 factor model
Переглядів 546 місяців тому
E8 - Dr William Barnet's 5 factor model
E7 - CAFCASS and parental alienation
Переглядів 3356 місяців тому
E7 - CAFCASS and parental alienation
E6 - Terminology of parental alienation
Переглядів 486 місяців тому
E6 - Terminology of parental alienation
E5 - Diagnostic Criteria for parental alienation
Переглядів 3706 місяців тому
E5 - Diagnostic Criteria for parental alienation
E4 - The three levels of parental alienation
Переглядів 616 місяців тому
E4 - The three levels of parental alienation
Parental Alienation Awareness charity video
Переглядів 1,9 тис.Рік тому
Parental Alienation Awareness charity video
Lorraine Bushell from Hendon Grandparents support group talks about alienated grandparents.
Переглядів 3102 роки тому
Lorraine Bushell from Hendon Grandparents support group talks about alienated grandparents.
Most excellent advice and information! Thank you
I invite you to fill in the last sentence... comments below
I guess the take away lesson is: be careful who you have children with.
They are a complete waste of time and completely biased against fathers .
Thanks for your comment Lesley. Yes, it's an eye-opener. From what I'm seeing in the county Facebook support groups, and on the UK PA Helpline, there seems to be a bias against agreeable parents, I'm seeing it against both mums and dads in near-equal numbers, although there's still the idea that it's mainly fathers that CAFCASS are being biased against. That was a hard one to wrap my head around. They take the word of the child - that's what blows my mind. Maybe they'll take the word of the child when the child wants to stay up all hours each night with chocolate and ice cream as main course dinners
I'm getting a sense this might be a REALLY widespread social issue, with almost zero visibilty. I for one am experiencing 90% of what was described.
Yes, it's widespread across the world. It's insane, and enabled by the mental health services and family courts services. We're wanting the term 'custody' to be removed, in place of a starting point for 'parenting 50/50'. And there's a tremendous backlash by those who say it doesn't happen, and those who say this is 'estrangement' and we're all in denial.
I think that you just saved me from writing my estranged son a letter that accuses his mother of committing parental alienation on him and his sister. Thank You! ❤️
I'm glad to hear, well done for that. Thank you for saying, it's what we're here for. Jack
Wow all of this so accurate. The playground, the dog, I lost so much. People don’t believe me, I was homeless He had the affair, he did this. He deleted photos and threw away a dumpster full. My parents and GMA suffer as well. It’s been over 4 years since being with my oldest son. The younger kids suffering, in school, mentally and emotionally. It is abuse! We need help!! I’m working on myself to heal from the trauma and toxic but it is still happening so some days are harder even still. False memories are real, public opinions are hard. I was a stay at home mom and had a great relationship with all my children before this happened. The grief of losing a child that is still alive is the hardest thing and I have had to bury a daughter. It’s constant pain and I have to be strong and pretend while I pour into them. It’s exhausting. Who is pouring into me? People don’t understand this b
I am so sorry Candice. I have read all that you've said. We're listening. It's all true isn't it. In UK, we've created a UK infrastructure, to be able to support folk, to bring them out of isolation. If you're in UK, please let me know and I can direct you to your county support group. Jack
Dr Goodings, this is a hot topic in need of a platform, correct information, and a campaign for heightened public/family awareness. While watching and listening, I would suggest you practice your presentations, develop a personal & professional education style, and more interesting audio visuals. Audiences expect to be entertained while learning. I found your presentation difficult to follow, leaving me unengaged and disinterested. Consider rehearsing any future online offerings. Construct a written self-evaluation tool of your goals. Film yourself during the final practice for your eyes only. Objectively critique your film using the tool. Revise, improve, re-evaluate.
Thank you :)
Accurate explanation and testimony of what it’s like to be a targeted parent .
We can say things like: "I understand why you would feel that way." "I hear what you're saying." We can reflect back what they've told us. We can ask questions like "Why do you think that?" and when they answer, just say "I see" or "I understand."
Thanks for your comment and valuable suggestions. For some, in these situations 'probing' can sometimes come across as interrogating, taking control, as a more senior position. The "I hear what you're saying" is good, safe.
❤
Truth. Sadness. Overwhelming grief and loss, and not for ourselves but for our children. Brokenhearted.
3 words: Let it go.
This comment may be coming from someone who has not been through this. When somebody commits such a serious crime against children and others, one does not say "let it go". What has happened with these people is not a family breakup, it is a serious life-altering criminal offence.
This is a weird comment
@@paawarenessuk Explain the state or federal statute of this criminal offense. In America, alienating oneself from a parent is not a criminal offense. Let it go means simply this. Let people go if they reject you.
@@HomeFromFarAway No, my comment is sane and rational. Let it go means just as. Let people go if they reject you. Move on. Living in the past is weird.
@@PalmBeachFlorida24 You misunderstand this situation. This is not an 'estrangement' issue. It's a Human Rights issue and a Children's Rights issue. It's an offense under the Domestic Abuse Act (2015 UK) - the children are being abused, and the targeted parent is being abused. The 'people' doing the rejecting are the children .. however, these children have been brainwashed, coerced. In the middle of that are a series of coercive tactics being used by the alienating parent. We recommend to 'let go' of the psychological grip the controller has on these targeted parents, so as to reduce the pain and to maintain functionality. We don't recommend to 'let go' of our children, but for targeted parents to begin focusing on their lives hour by hour, day by day, getting themselves back to a manageable state of being so as to be in a 'good place' for when their children do start to show up again, and to be able to present themselves well to the courts. This situation is counter-intuitive .. however, when one has taken access from a safe, loving parent's ability to parent their own children, that parent reacts, as expected. There is far more to this than your simplified 'let it go' / 'let people go if they reject you'. I 'get' what you are saying, and why you are saying it .. but one does not and cannot simply 'let go' when they have been denied parental access to their child. The UK law states that when two people end a relationship, the other parent has 'no right' to see their child. This is NOT something to let go. Please look into this further, and look into the USA family courts system in the context of the situation we're talking about here. I pray you do not 'let go' of your children when they have been victims of child psychological abuse, this has been done to them. Thank you.
The alienated ( abused) parent, who unconditionally loves their children, never abused anyone, especially their children. As a once severely abused child, by a duped venerable "adult" who couldn't adult, was unable to critically think, hence became an abusive non parent who was also in a death cult called Jehovah's Witnesses (JW) , and who over time in court with the support of many JW cult members, and with non cult duped family members believing the many lies alienated our abused parent, our father. Hence I respectfully wish to state how imperative education to Police, Judges, Lawyers, medical health professionals, child protection agencies, world wide governments, and the general public is the key for everyone helping our society prevent what is only now becoming more widely known as parental alienation abuse, and it also being child abuse! However education also includes the education of proactively protecting children from parental alienation too. Even in grade school young children can learn how easy it is to learn how to identify ALL abusers. Children can learn who is an abusive adult in their homes, including any person who is called a "parent" but does not parent, but rather is willing to harm and abuse them. To is not difficult to teach children to learn the continual hunting process ALL abusers/predators use against their targeted prey. Educating about proactive life skill tools especially how to enact firm protective healthy boundaries can start when children are barely able to speak. ALL abusers/predators isolate their prey ( adults and children) , and do not respect any healthy boundaries, and once their prey is trapped do not allow healthy boundaries, which is also the key to identifying red flags very early in relationships and abusers families, hence understanding and proactively preventing all types abusers from making us their duped prey. I liked how an expert Psychiatrist with all abuse/trauma/cults, once explained to me in a very simple concise way how all dangerous sexual predators, sexual child predators, narcissists, psychopaths ( which includes the term sociopaths) , all types of cults and their leaders, and all types of terrorists groups and their leaders are ALWAYS ALL the SAME in their many abusive actions and behaviours. That is why when people are educated about this one fact, it becomes SO easy to identify ALL ABUSERS once we all learn the basic life skills tools of firm healthy boundaries, and via looking at the easy identifying lists of identifiers of any healthy and unhealthy abusive toxic people, and any healthy and unhealthy abusive toxic groups. The expert stated how all cults, terrorist groups and ALL ABUSERS ( identified as a cult of one by experts), including ANY type of abusers in any family dynamic, ALWAYS use all the same strategies and all the same tactics of abuse. They all use the same processes of manipulation, which is identified as grooming too. All target venerable people, and their children( whose brains have not matured hence can not critically think) , and slowly over time groom and manipulate and terrorizes all their prey ( spouses, children, family members, and any non critically thinking friends) to become isolated from family and critically thinking friends especially those who can identify abusers, to not trust their own thinking, not trust their gut, doubt their reality, become turned against, to be ingrained to believe lies, to be twisted to learn to even hate, always so they are alienated from a loving healthy parent ( or family member) who is constantly being denigrated, lied about, too many times this abused parent is also in a situation of domestic abuse, hence has been love bombed into the relationship, slowly groomed, continually manipulated, and abused by this abuser far longer before their children have. So too many times this abused alienated parent does not understand how to leave or escape the abuser while proactively protecting themselves, and their children. The alienated ( abused) parent, who unconditionally loves their children, never abused anyone, especially their children.
I only hear about parent's fault ,what about society's fault ? In my opinion it's massive . What about iq? This is another issue which is never discussed but it's very important .
I witnessed this dynamic with my ex and his kids. I had to get away from it for my own sanity. The level of toxicity and crazy making attacks was so unbelievable that I reason something demonic was behind it. I hope those kids find their way to healthy counseling as adults. I hope the truth comes out so they don't repeat the cycle as adults with their children. Thank you for speaking up about it because the legal system was stacked against finding healthy intervention for these kids. They were taught to hate a part of themselves and lash out at the people in their lives who love them.
It destroys relationships doesn't it, and has devastating effects for those around. It's good that you mention 'something demonic' behind it. The legal system has much to be accountable for. Thank you for commenting. Jack
This is exactly the same treatment that children of narcissistic parents get when they call out their parents and try to go no contact I'm so confused about what this issue is.
As a once severely abused child of an alienated abused parent education about all abusers and the process of abuse is the key to understanding. Very respectfully that is your assumption, your jumping to a false conclusion, possibly as a child abuse survivor? To be clear the alienated ( abused) parent/spouse, who unconditionally loves their children, never abused anyone, especially their children! This is NOT a video about any type of abusive parent. This is a video about the alienated ABUSED parent/spouse, who is also an alienated parent of children being abused by the other non parent, who is the dangerous abuser in control. This is also about the alienated (abused) parents utter heartbreak going through their whole situation seeing their beloved children constantly being abused and brainwashed to hate them too! Hence your utter misunderstanding of this severely abusive situation towards 1) the alienated (abused) parent many times in a domestic abuse situation, usually in survival mode for such a long time, controlled, venerable, duped, and utterly confused, 2) the mentally and emotionally abused children being illegally prevented access, and contact with a normal healthy loving relationship with the non abusive parent, who is the alienated (abused) parent who really is loving trying to protect and reestablish a healthy relationship with their children and 3) alienated (abused) children being constantly horrifically manipulated, brain washed constantly to believe lies about the alienated (abused) loving parent. Hence these children are suffering child abuse. These children are consistently severely mentally and emotionally continuously abused and denied their whole healthy childhood with their only loving non abusive parent, the alienated (abused ) parent. This is a horrific abusive family dynamic with an abuser who keeps control of the whole situation, the whole dynamic, and who is always masquerading as a saviour of the abused children WHILE abusing everyone. The fact is far too many times these abusive parents are getting away with all the hidden abuses, and have long been creating a false narrative. Hence this is a video about the alienated (abused) parents who are survivors of very dangerous abusers. These very dangerous abusers do not ever parent, as they are willing to abuse any children as pawns to control, manipulate, and steal their legal right to be parented by their real loving parent. Abusers to so to try to hurt the alienated (abused) spouse/parent who leaves the marriage due to all the abuse and toxicity. If the abuser can't control the alienated (abused) spouse any more, as they have left, the abusers will move on to a new supply, hence target all the children and harm them, and to damage permanently the relationship with the abused alienated spouse who left all the abuse marriage. I liked how an expert Psychiatrist once explained to me in a simple concise way how all dangerous sexual predators, sexual child predators, narcissists, psychopaths ( which includes the term sociopaths) , all types of cults and their leaders, and all types of terrorists groups and their leaders are ALWAYS all the SAME in the many abusive actions and behaviours. That is why when people are educated about this one fact, it becomes SO easy to identify ALL ABUSERS once we learn the basic life skills tools of healthy boundaries, and via looking at the easy identifying lists of identifiers of any healthy and unhealthy abusive toxic people, and any healthy and unhealthy abusive toxic groups. The expert stated how all cults, terrorist groups and ALL ABUSERS ( identified as a cult of one by experts), including ANY type of abusers in any family dynamic, ALWAYS use all the same strategies and all the same tactics of abuse. They all use the same processes of manipulation, which is identified as grooming too. All target venerable people, and their children( whose brains have not matured hence can not critically think) , and slowly over time groom and manipulate and terrorizes all their prey ( spouses, children, family members, and any non critically thinking friends) to become isolated from family and critically thinking friends especially those who can identify abusers, to not trust their own thinking, not trust their gut, doubt their reality, become turned against, to be ingrained to believe lies, to be twisted to learn to even hate, always so they are alienated from a loving healthy parent ( or family member) who is constantly being denigrated, lied about, too many times this abused parent is also in a situation of domestic abuse, hence has been love bombed into the relationship, slowly groomed, continually manipulated, and abused by this abuser far longer before their children have. So too many times this abused alienated parent does not understand how to leave or escape the abuser while proactively protecting themselves, and their children. Again to be clear the alienated ( abused) parent, who unconditionally loves their children, never abused anyone, especially their children.
@@emilyconway6273 we need clear vocabulary to distinguish between the two as many people who are escaping toxic families get gaslit with the word "parental alienation"
@@HomeFromFarAway Yes, we agree. The term 'parental alienation' is a label people use, many are able to find us. What Jack is talking about, the terms are in this speech - it's 'alienating behaviours', intimate partner violence, domestic abuse, child psychological abuse - not labels, but behaviours - that's the vocabulary people need to use. Very good point you made.
@@emilyconway6273 thank you Emily. Jack
Alianation and estrangement are different things. You cant assume every estrangement is actually alienation. And sorry but a parent who can positively assert that the relationship was good while their child choses to distence themselves from them is disrespecting the child's perspective and that's probably the reason they stay away.
So sad, I made my kids make their alienating mother cards on Mother’s Day but did she return the favour on Father’s Day? Nope!!! The vile cretin continues to alienate my son from his siblings and me!!!
My vile ex who is obsessed with her brother who abused her and really should have married him, spent over 10 years making my children hate me until they eventually caught on and decided to stand their ground, then they were threatened with violence and abduction as a result of it!!
So sorry this has happened to you and your children. How are you doing?
@@paawarenessuk I am going thank you, we are in a much better space now the alienator has moved back with her family. Just navigating the court system where she and her family continue to lie and make false allegations. While radicalising and further alienating my child who resides with her, from me and his siblings!!
@@gamereaper7652 It's peaks and troughs isn't it, different chapters, like 'stage 1', 'stage 2', 'stage 3' etc.
@@paawarenessuk Totally, but the impact on my children is what is the hardest to deal with. But I won’t rest until my children are safe from these savages
@@paawarenessuk thank you for the amazing work you do, keep it up. Giving parents like me a voice in this corrupt system!
Alienators act like they are the alienated it’s very easy to hide under this guise!! My children for over a decade were made to hate me by their mother
I'm going through this as we speak as well My daughter-in-law wanted out of the marriage so instead of just getting a divorce like most people do she put false charges on my son which incited a protection order and now that they are divorced and he's in jail I can't see my grandchildren I'm heartbroken and nobody cares about grandparents
It's awful, I'm so sorry. Jack
Heartbreaking for all the parents and the families.
Thank you, I try to forgive myself when I can’t show up as 100% neutral in very, very painful and stressful moments as I try to navigate some semblance of a relationship with my daughter. Tragic. 💔
It's very isolating. Your family, friends, coworkers (pretty much everyone) will not show up. They may say it's wrong, be unset about it but then will never ask you again how you're doing.
Yes, it is Sarah. This is why we're bringing people together in UK, each county. It's true isn't it, it's the loneliest place. And then folk will post on here that we're all getting our facts wrong, that we don't know what we're talking about .. you, us, all of us who have experienced it. They'll post facts from searches they did on the Internet, but we're the ones who can say what it's like, the ones who have all experienced it and are listening to each other telling the same things. Keep well. Jack
My daughter finally reached out! I haven't seen her in 11 years. She was 12. She said she feels like we (myself and my 3 other children) moved on in life and she's been stuck. I told her that none of us have moved on. That our lives also stopped that day she was taken. She hasn't got to the angry part yet, just the sad part. I know she needs to get the anger part out. I want so bad to tell her about parental alienation but I've heard that's the worst thing to do. She said she feels horrible about how she's treated me. I keep trying to tell her that she isn't responsible for anything that has happened. That it was her and I who failed her.
@@jeffthames886 It takes time Jeff. A deep wound. It finds it's way. Just day on day, lots of love as your already know.
So many parents who refuse to respect their children's autonomy into adulthood. Who continue to see them as children who need parenting. See themselves as superior to them, and actively refuse to change in any meaningful way. Recognizing this situation is important. People deserve the right to separate themselves from abusive parents. Full stop.
Yes indeed. But this is not what is happening in the situation we're speaking up about, and it's not what our charity is about. Many thanks for you valued comment.
@paawarenessuk so how does your charity distinguish between a situation like what I mentioned where an adult child rightfully seeks separation and independence from an abusive parent, and a situation where a parent has been unjustly excluded from the lives of there adult children?
@@Wrent_Free Thank you for your question. We're not here to distinguish between the two or help them get their children back - we're here to raise awareness, to help them regain some sense of reality, to teach them what's happening i.e. narcissistic abuse, to validate, help them learn what's needed for when their child returns, and to help them bring some basic quality of wellbeing back into their daily lives before they sink too low and take their own lives in many cases. That said, how does one distinguish between the two .. The child's age is a good place to start. Age 6 months. Age 3. Age 8. Age 13 .. ages too young to make the rational decision to 'estrange'. These 'parentified' children who also use adult words, the words of the gatekeeping parent, information they should not have knowledge of (like details of the breakup, or finances etc.) are not common to the child's vocabulary or context. Other ways one can distinguish are looking at the timeline, also hearing how the child has treated the parent. Also, listen to Jack Goodings, the words he's saying is not common to what happens with abusive parent / child dynamic; the abusive parent generally has others around them believing the rejected parent is the abusive one - the rejected parent finds him/herself often isolated and falling into deep depression, with others pointing fingers. Abused parents don't tend to speak up. Abused children also do not reject a parent, typically, without other influence. And at the house, a non abusive parent would not typically erase the 'other' parent. Dr Amy Baker's 17 Alienating Behaviours, that might be a good reference point in answer to your valid question; these 17 behaviours are commonplace textbook, but there are more. This is not about 'estrangement' from abusive parent. It could be 'estrangement' from the way the parent has reacted to the rejection and abuse, but it comes initially from alienation, the parent has already been rejected, where there was a prior good relationship and no safeguarding issue. Your question is a good one, and it's one that these abused parents sadly are dealing with also. There are parents out there who's adult children estrange from them out of necessity, but there's a lot of grief with that, it takes a lot, years generally (due to the trauma bonding effects) and it doesn't present itself the same way as alienation. Thank you for your comment, I hope this answer has been helpful.
@@paawarenessukYes. I'm seeing that that is the case; that I come at this from OPs point of view, but I'm understanding that this report is not about children trying to leave abusive parents. This is about one parent maligning the other parent and 'maliciously' aligning the children against one parent. Is that the case? I wish you would explain what this IS about, rather than just saying what it's not about. I think we're all on the same side, basically fighting one narcissistic parent. Is that right?
PS Sorry. My above comment was written before I read your second reply. I THINK I better understand... But still...
I changed my will. I dont want to leave 'toxic' assets.
Of course you did, Jenn.
@@viviane_casella yes, Troll, I did. Ancestral land has already been passed on.
@@viviane_casella not only that, you turned your back on your people? Life itself is too toxic? Millions of years of survival by your ancestors and hard work by your elders to create better, but your feelings are hurt? Someone misgendered you? Touch grass
@@viviane_casella your feelings hurt? Aww. Much sympathy for you. I cry alone but with you
@@viviane_casella why disengaged adults get mad when disinherited? I leave for ones that stay. I start a movement, go, and leave all behind
Well said
Thank you. The day was incredible
Love you all, praying for you all. No one can know the horrors unless they experience it, especially fathers who’s most base duty is to protect his child. It will break you in every way imaginable. Ways you didn’t know you could be broken.
Thank you. Yes, it's enough to break a person in every way imaginable. You're all in my / our prayers also. Jack
Thank you for this ❤
You're very welcome. I hope you're doing ok. Jack
Wow Jack… listening from USA… thank you for making this content. I was a single mom with zero child support since my son was 2 years old… dad abandoned us…I never drank or smoked or ran around with men… yet…I sometimes had to work two jobs to keep a roof over our head yet…My son ran away from me 15 years ago saying I was a narcissist… he was addicted to world of Warcraft and had autism temper tantrums since he was a baby. I just keep waiting to hear from him and don’t know if he’s dead or alive. I still kept the same phone numbers and email addresses to give him a chance to reach out. After 15 years and he’s now 31… I’ve given up hope…yet your content is giving me reasons that he may have run away
Hello from UK. Thanks for sharing that. It's not been an easy time for you has it. And not knowing even how he is. Giving up hope .. well, it's true isn't it that 'hope deferred makes the heart sick'. You're still there for him. You'll be wise when he returns one day - not easy until it is. My stance on things are that I put my full trust and faith in God, and he's always there for me .. and I know he can see your son. If not already doing so, keep it reasonably easy for him to find you, even online (you're possibly already doing that). My thoughts and prayers are with you. Jack
Thank you for making this video
Well spoken thank you
Thank you. From the heart. It was an incredible conference with over 60 alienated parents and grandparents there
😢
I hope you're ok. Jack Goodings
Excellent talk! Thanks Jack 🙌💯 (Karma Bridges PAA Cumbria County Support Group Facilitator) 🙋🏻♀️
Thank you :) Glad you're here
This guy is a whiny lazy baby
TROLL WARNING!
I originally thought I was alone and that this didn't affect anyone else. How wrong was I? If you are fortunate enough to not have experienced this I envy you so so much. This video puts into words what I and many alienated parents, siblings, grandparents and extended family and friends are put through by a resident parent and the flying monkeys engaged by the narcissist who rides rough-shod over their child/children to ruin the lives of those children and the family of the targeted parent. You can't imagine that. The role of Mum, Dad, Nan, Grandad, brother, sister, aunt or uncle has been removed in the blink of an eye. We didn't separate from our children. That action was carried out by others despite there being no safeguarding concerns. Allegations and police involvement never substantiated. Government, social services, medical and education authorities cancelling us. "IT'S LIKE YOUR CHILDREN DYING OVER AND OVER AGAIN FOR YEARS AND YEARS!" Well said, Mr Goodings
Very well said also Gary. Thank you. Jack
You nailed it friend.
Excellent episode Jack. You're not biased against CAFCASS. For the most part - in my opinion - the organisation is not fit for purpose and biased towards the resident alienating parent and not impartial as it should be
Thank you Gary. Yes, 100% agree. They do a tremendous amount of damage don't they. Working in 'the best interest of the child' by not working towards keeping both parents active in the child's life is not in the best interest of the child and is counter-productive, hugely damaging.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. In short, it's very mean of them to do this, it's incredibly hurtful, it's damaging to the grandchildren, your son who is doing this to you has chosen to live in this way, it is not good character, it sounds like you've tried to do the right thing, to be there for them, you've made every effort to even move closer and this should be clear enough that you want something to do with them, yet their inability or unwillingness to give clear boundaries and maintain good relations causes more pain and damage. It's hurtful, it's such a huge waste. It's all on their terms, there's no respect for you, or regard for you, and your eldest grandson is now picking up on these ways of being, being nurtured with poison, and it's so so sad. Thank you for watching this, I'm glad it's helping in some way, even just for validation. And thank you for your comment. Keep well, and keep the love for yourself as well as for them. Jack Goodings
Ive just come across your channel (ive been searching for this for years) im 70yrs ...5 years ago i moved to a small town to be near my son and family (3 granchildren) i was living a few miles away but moved right into to lovely little town ...well...not long after settling in my son was extremely nasty and then avoided me when i called to babysit ...fast forward to today ..im useful to have kids i always take them out as i dont feel comfortable around my son and d.i.l. to the outside world they are a thriving happy family ...but i feel bereft and excluded..no contact from them at Christmas holidays birthdays ...no calls no visits ...im grateful i can see kiddies (however eldest grandson now doesnt want to see me) hes 8 and weve had wonderful times together but the family dynamics are too strong for him to resist
I'm so sorry
Thank you. The suicide rate is high. Because it is savagry. Torment. KNOWING the children are suffering but integratred into a delusional world where the heinously sadistic parent gets a blue ribbon pinned his chest by coersively controlled loyal subjects who are conditioned not to self- advovate... They have no agency.
Not "his chest" I suggest, but "their chest"; it is a gender neutral problem. There are lots of examples of males and females doing it 😊
23 years here.
I'm so sorry Anna. This is a whole added load of issues on top of the first lot of the grieving, isn't it. The grief doesn't go away does it, even after my 17 years, even after your 23 years .. and even when / if they return after so many years. I think I need to do a video on this. Thank you for sharing this. Keep well. Jack
16 years. I'm over it. My heart has closed the door. I'm now free and I have no shame. I have no guilt. My life, my soul are now mine.
@@jackgoodingsyes- this would be so helpful. The grieving for the many years lost, memories missed, bonds with grandchildren never made. The grief is so real and unbearable at times. The not knowing outcomes, questioning if this will last forever, fear to get our hopes up at reconciliation, etc. And social media makes it all the more torturous if your adult child posts pics of the grandchild you’ve never met, with all of the other relatives enjoying time with her. All I can do is pray for my daughters heart to open up to seeing the truth, and for the safety of my granddaughter as she is now in the middle of it and has no idea that I exist.
❤you so much my daughter has called me all the awful things for yeaŕs she loves her dad but he married a latvuan woman and moved there with her now she contacts me ha cos hes gone but still bad mouths me to her siblings till he may returns im done dont want this anymore i only get contacted when they want money so basicly im nothing to them x
I'm so sorry. This is one of the outcomes isn't it. It's good that you're holding your boundaries and can see what she's doing. It ends up being on our terms as well doesn't it, that we had possibly entered into a co-dependent state with our children and they were able to call the shots, so to speak. We get to the other side, lots of reflection, and we can get to the point of no longer being willing to be treated the way some of them treat us .. we tend to distance ourselves and even though we're happy to meet in the middle we're no longer swayed by their degradation or disregard of us. They now get to decide whether they want to meet us where we are. We won't reject them, but we now have insight, wisdom, boundaries, pulled ourselves out of the emotional state (even though it's still heartbreaking and we still mourn for what was and now is not and possibly never will be).
After 2 letters from an attorney threatening me with either financial ruin or jail time, I PROMISE you that my son and I are ESTRANGED for my entire life.
It sadly comes to that a fair amount of the time doesn't it. Thank you for sharing that. Jack
@@jackgoodings thanks
Sounds like you're part of the problem.
@@stereotypespecialist Only for the helicopter parents who will go broke or go to jail for their kiddos - thereby becoming wards of the State - for everyone else to pay. I prefer to take care of myself. I submit to no one.
Excellent ❤Sir
Thank you Georgia. Jack
Your Welcome, I have had 74 jobs all different setting & behaviour has only two SIDES, NO GREY AREAS ANY LEVEL, "LAW OF THE LAND" IN AMERICA 🚨A DROPPED DIME, SIR />> THANK YOU
SALEM PROBATE COURT MASSACHUSETTS CAME INTO MY HOME BY CONSENTE & DID THIS THING TOO MY FAMILY TOO, PARENTAL ALIENATION IS A CRIME OF SEGREGATION 🎬COURT ASSISTED IS A NATION PROBLEM
Kritikos vs DeRosa , MORE LIES than the WATERGATE SCANDAL SALEM PROBATE COURT MASSACHUSETTS 1 PADDEN 2 ULWICK 3 KAPLAN 4 BLACK 5 ARMSTRONG 6 TAXERIA 7 _ BOSTON 3 JUDGES 8 SOUR 9 CHIEF CASEY 10 GIORDANO 11 SHAGANIAN 12 ALBANY 13 S.1131
I hope salem probate is still NOT LAUGHING 🎬THIS IS SERIUOS STUFF
I TESTIFIED AT THE MASSACHUSETTS SENATE HOUSE AGAINST SALEM PROBATE MASSACHUSETTS COURT ❤️
I don't know much about that Georgia. How did it go?
15 judges needed🎥IN Kritikos vs DeRosa , TO COVER UP ALL THE LIES MORE LIES than the WATERGATE SCANDAL SALEM PROBATE COURT MASSACHUSETTS 1 PADDEN 2 ULWICK 3 KAPLAN 4 BLACK 5 ARMSTRONG 6 TAXERIA 7 _ BOSTON 3 JUDGES 8 SOUR 9 CHIEF CASEY 10 GIORDANO 11 SHAGANIAN 12 ALBANY 13 S.1131🎬 KRITIKOS VS DEROSA
Kritikos vs DeRosa , MORE LIES than the WATERGATE SCANDAL SALEM PROBATE COURT MASSACHUSETTS 1 PADDEN 2 ULWICK 3 KAPLAN 4 BLACK 5 ARMSTRONG 6 TAXERIA 7 _ BOSTON 3 JUDGES 8 SOUR 9 CHIEF CASEY 10 GIORDANO 11 SHAGANIAN 12 ALBANY 13 S.1131