What We Think About our Foster Daughter Going Home
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- Опубліковано 11 гру 2020
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Be The Village
P.O. Box 348
Maineville, OH 45039 - Фільми й анімація
Yay Miss A!!! This is why it is ok for foster families to get attached. They are willing to take in a child and love them unconditionally and then let them go. It is ok for grownups to hurt for a little while to support children who need it. ❤️
This comment 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Absolutely ❤
Whitney Schlotman Yes! While of course foster parents should be happy for the child and their family to be reunified, they also SHOULD be sad to see their foster children leave because that is a sign that the foster child was loved for the time that they were in their home. I would be concerned if a foster parent didn’t show any emotional attachment to their foster child or feel sadness when they return home. It is HARD to be a foster parent, but as adults they have the necessary coping skills and maturity to handle those emotions and work through them. If an adult finds it hard, imagine how these children feel! Fostering is about sacrifice. Yes, it will be an emotional rollercoaster and it will be extremely challenging mentally and emotionally, but that child is having to go through SO much more, without the maturity and coping skills of an adult, and they have no choice in the matter. They deserve to be in a home with foster parents who love them unconditionally, care about them immensely and who will miss them when they leave. If thousands upon thousands of children go through this daily, adults can certainly sacrifice their own emotions to help make the situation a little bit easier for these kids. It bothers me when other adults say they could never foster because it would be too hard to get attached to a child who will only be with them temporarily, as if actual foster parents are robots who somehow don’t become attached or don’t have to deal with those difficult emotions.
@@BhappyD yes! I have been thinking about fostering for a long time and when people ask if I am afraid I will get attached I always say “ that’s the point”.
I constantly have to remind myself that the children deserve to have foster parents who love them so much that it breaks the foster parents' hearts a little to have them leave.
“I can’t leave behind all these blessings”😭😭😭 she’s so sweet, I know you guys will stay in contact because of the amazing bond you developed♥️
I'm a foster mama with a kiddo with permanence until age of majority and it drives me bananas to have people ask "Are you going to keep him?" He's not a puppy! I love that your families are now extended families and Ms. A is such a mature, thoughtful, FUN, young lady! We don't "keep" our biological children either, they're not puppies...they are their own people and hopefully grow up and are free to build their own families someday too ;). People often say things like "I could never because I'd get too attached" as an excuse, there's my unpopular opinion.
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Extended family 😭 blessings 😭 oh ok... *cries*
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Being a kid in the foster system I have never, ever seen good foster parents. All of the ones I came across or got to know through being in the system were in it for money. So glad to see people being in it for the kids and families. People actually trying to keep the families together
I plan on fostering in the future and I hope more people become good foster parents so kids don’t suffer.
Seems Sawyer isn't ready to discuss Miss A leaving. 😉
As a foster mama.. I feel ya in all ways. I usually just say.. now we have a space for someone else who needs us. These transitions can be emotionally complicated.
I can’t even imagine. I have a major emotional breakdown every time I foster cats and have to let them go. I’ve kept far too many 😂 with children , we don’t get the option to be a foster failure and I think my emotional issues about it could be harmful to any children I foster. Foster parents are really special people who are selfless and have strength that I don’t have.
Thank you to all the foster parents out there 🥰
Exactly
So happy for her reunification! I’m sure you and the village will remain a supportive role with Miss A. I’m excited for you guys. Bittersweet but incredibly beautiful and lucky for her.
I just became a social worker and I can’t wait to see this happen with others. Reunification is always worked towards. ❤️
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I feel for you right now. We had a placement that lasted 5 years and we supported those young people to independence. I told our foster agency you know I need a few months off letting go was so hard. But 2 weeks later I got that call they urgently needed a 1 night bed for a teen whose foster placement had broken down. She was with us for 18 weeks until moving to a more permanent placement and so glad we said yes we would take her. But no rest for us the same week she left we accepted placement of 3 young siblings. 4 years on they are still here and we are hoping for permanent with them. People have said to me you can't get attached to them can you otherwise you wouldnt be able to let go. But we do get attached because children need that connection and yes I cry but I'm happy about the times we have shared and the difference we have been able to make.
Awww what you’re doing is amazing! And I agree, you HAVE to get attached. Those children NEED to feel loved and wanted. It could be the first time in their lives ever being shown that kind of love and kindness. I understand that people want to protect their own hearts from future heartbreak and disappointment, but, at the same time, I feel like loving those children is an integral part of the commitment to foster care.
I'm so happy that her reunification is near. It's so bittersweet when our foster children leave. 😊
As a new social worker and a former reunification worker, I’m so proud of y’all! This is not easy but its worth it! 💜
I’m crying just thinking we won’t be seeing miss A in the videos she really is such a beautiful girl inside and outside. We will definitely miss you miss A love Sarah x
I could imagine that reunification is such a bittersweet milestone, but I bet she will visit often (mostly to see her buddy, Sawyer). I love your point about how people often don’t foster because it isn’t usually forever. Foster parents love their kids so much that they want the child’s biological parents to have that joy back full time.
Next level love for sure
I was just watching another video about this topic by Holden it Down. She talked about every placement she ever had, how she loved them so much, even if they only stayed with her for a day, and ended every story with "and I never saw them again." I really felt like crying. In the end, she ended up adopting two siblings out of foster care. But I remember this explanation, I don't know if it was from you or a German foster mother I follow. About how you are supposed to get attached because that's exactly what the child needs in their lives right now. Anyway, wishing you and Miss A a great transition and livelong relationship. I truly belief you will have that.
We went in to help teens age gracefully out of care or return to family of origin. Adoption was only on table in the right situation...
We finalized the adoption of our 15 year old last month. It happens, but we were prepared for her to go to a family member for the longest time. We do have relationship with that family member though.
My friends foster and they wanted to be a temporary place for kids who needed them, but their first placement ended up being their last. They went from about a month stay, to a 6 month stay, to hopefully less than a year, to we are not really sure, to they are up for adoption, to a few let downs...so they stole their hearts and then they stole their last names!
Woah, those are some smart babies, stealing names before being able to read :D
As someone who has been in foster care and I wish her the best of luck. This transition will not be easy.
I absolutely love hearing how supportive Miss A's parents are of your relationship! Wishing her all the best!
Well I just experienced our foster daughter leaving on this past Friday Dec 11th. One size does not fit all. In our case she never met her family. We got her when she was a newborn. Now she is almost 2 years old, we are the only family that she has ever known. She has grandparents , aunts and cousins etc. with our family. So, when the caseworker came to get her she was really confused about why she is she being taken away from Mommy and Daddy. She kept reaching back for us and there was nothing that we could do to stop it but tell her how much we loved her. Then watched the car pull away. Worst of all she was moved to Florida with an Aunt who she never met. We are afraid for her the trauma of not seeing a familiar face and not being able can't explain why this has happened and Covid she can't wear a mask( too young)This is the worst feeling the world we had her for almost 2 years.
The agency would like for us to continue to do foster care, they thought that we did excellent job with her. But we signed up foster to adopt not just fostering. With "foster to adopt" 80% of the children go back to family even if it's not in the best interest of the child. The family has priority and not much is expected of them in order for the child to return. Our agency was misleading us all the while telling us that "she belongs with us " "they were on our side" and "she's our daughter". We should not have believed them. It's like waving food in front of a hungry man, he can see the food even touch it but he just can't eat any of it. We certainly need other options. Don't think that we will be able to do foster care to adopt again. It's not a switch that you can turn on and off especially if the child stay for along period of time. This make it much harder for child and the foster parent. It a wonderful if you don't want to adopt the child. Thanks for sharing though.
It sounds like your agency was not the right fit for your family and didn't properly manage expectations and communication. I'm sorry this was your experience.
@@BeTheVillageCommunity Thank you for reaching out to me. Yeah, they are totally not the right fit for us. Even her law guardian told us the longer we have the our chances, that' wasn't not true. So we have to find another option or at least use a different county. If they were a lot honest with us it wouldn't hurt as bad. You Tube is such a blessing right now. Thanks again
I trust that Miss A will stay in contact. Also, I can’t imagine how grateful she and her family are to have you guys. Despite whatever they may have been going through, at least Miss A had. Safe, happy place to be.
I had one placement that went home to a mom who worked hard to get them back... whom I was so happy to be able to care for her kids while she got her life together (as far as I know they never entered care again) ... foster another boy who went to his very kind grandma where he grew up... also no problem with that... had 3 kids 18 months who moved to foster care out of state to be close to a mom who never got them back... that was devastation ..
Oh my goodness that would have to be devastating beyond description.
What a bittersweet and emotional time for you all! Miss A has come so far, I think all of you have learned from each other.
I hope you know how awesome people like you are and rare God bless you all
i’m so happy for miss A that she gets to go home but also that she has had y’alls support along the way to get there.
Foster care should be about what's best for the child. Not every situation requires the permanent removal of the child/children. Sometimes families just need time apart so they can heal and grow stronger. That's how the system should work.
There are completely situations where children cannot go back to their birth families but those aren't the only scenarios. Life isn't simple like that.
I am so happy that she gets to go home, but what she said about keeping in touch literally melted my heart!! The kids are really gonna miss her and she them! Glad that everyone got to celebrate with her before she leaves! Oh my gosh, Sawyer seems to grow up and change with each video! He doesn't have to talk to be adorable! LOL Miss A is less cranky, you crack me up Whitney! LOL Boys love climbing, I love the look on his face when John asks what he is doing.....nothing daddy just hanging out with my toys on the table, no big deal!
Best of luck to Miss A and her family. You guys are wonderful parents
It’s so great to hear a success story in the foster care system. It’s obvious that Miss A’s family instilled good values in her and helped her become the wonderful person she is. I wish them the best of luck and I hope you can all stay in touch!
When I left the family I au paired for in France, I definitely felt a lot of the emotions that you guys are feeling. It really is a weird mix of sad and happy that is nearly impossible to describe to someone who has never had a similar experience.
One thing that might help Darcy and Sawyer (and Miss A if she likes stuffed animals) is to get them a stuffed animal with a picture of Miss A with each kid on the animal. The company in France put the photo on a t-shirt that the stuffed animal was wearing. Each kid got their own stuffed animal with a picture of me with one of them on it. My original intentions were for me to buy myself one upon returning to the US but that never happened.
It’s not the same as real Miss A, but the little girl in France who was about Darcy’s age at the time kept telling me she was going to miss giving me a hug so I told her to hug the animal with me on it instead. Not sure if Darcy has brought that topic up with Miss A, but my host mom told me the girl carried the bunny around with “me” on it for a while after I left until she got more used to the fact I was away.
It’s gonna be weird not seeing Miss A! Where’s Darcy? Can’t believe how Sawyer has grown up!
She was napping
We will miss you Miss A. We wish you the best in the future.
What a Journey! I'm happy for her:)
God Bless you all!
So happy for her, and sad that we won't be seeing her so much. But what a great experience you gave her of being in care. Big hugs to all of you and y'all all go thru the process. And praying for lots of blessings for Ms A and her family and you guys as well. ❤
You guys are amazing! You’ve provided a safe, nurturing home for miss A while her family worked things out. That’s an incredible blessing to all of them.
Thinking of you all as Miss A goes home♥️ Hav a good nite🌛
Love the videos and your family! Thank you for constantly being a shining light of positivity!!
Thank you for you fostering. I feel you do a lot of great work. And the way you talk about it is so honest. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your life with us Miss A. You have been wonderful. Good luck for the future 💓
I wish Miss A all the best! I am very happy for her!! Sad but it is all good!! I will miss her!!!
Good luck Miss A!
So thrilled for Miss A! And love how you guys are sharing your thoughts and how you are feeling too. Miss A is right... you're blessings. 💛
How exciting yet sad. So happy Miss A is reuniting with her family!!! God bless yall
Miss A, you’re so loved by so many people. I think it’s great you now have another branch of extended family. Major kudos to you guys for fostering a relationship with her family. It’s just as important and is nothing but good for Miss A.
Good luck getting home with your family miss A. Have a wonderful Christmas and a happy New year. Love from Scotland. XXX
This is what it's all about. But happy/sad at the same time. Blessings to you and John and both families!
Oh Miss A! Your Disney thoughts are making me cry. You are the sweetest kid 💕
Bless you💓💓💓
I love watching yalls videos! I hope one day my husband and I can start classes soon so we can foster!
I’m so happy for Miss A! What an amazing thing to help a child and a family to learn and grow and see them all come back together at the end. So beautiful! ❤️❤️
I'm so sad and happy for all of you guys! We will all miss Miss A, but what a wonderful outcome.
I'm so happy for her and her family. I'm glad they view you guys the way they do. It says a lot about your family.
I love your channel, so happy for Miss A. I would love to foster later on so it's nice to see how this is working for your family.
Been a subscriber from the start. Love u guys
I can feel all the emotions in this...extended family...you trying not to cry was making me cry. Blessings to you all!
I love these videos.❤️ As a soon to be foster mom, navigating through this process is hard, so I feel blessed to see these videos. They give me so much hope.❤️
Oh my goodness! I’m going to miss you SO MUCH Miss A! But I’m so happy for you
God bless you and John. Such a wonderful couple. Wishing Mrs. A the best.
Much love to Miss A and both her families with this transition. We're all sending you the happiest future vibes :)
Every video I’m amazed at your capacity for love ❤️🧡💛💚💙
The pure love you all have for Ms. A is wonderful. And Sawyer's little grin is so precious.
So excited for Miss A and her family! 😊 Hopefully you can share updates about how she’s doing after she’s gone home. ♥️
Much love to your family and Miss A's family during this transition! When Miss A said you were a blessing and that her mom said so too, I started sobbing. As someone who wants to foster I know that this part will be so difficult, but I also know it is worth it to help kids and families.
We’re all going to miss her but also so happy that her family will be back together. Especially during the holidays. I’ve wanted to foster / adopt my whole life and I’m so grateful that y’all have let us all in to learn more. Wishing y’all the merriest of Christmas’ 🎄
Awwww I wish her the very best and hope things turn out amazing for her. I'm sure you guys will really miss her, you did an amazing job.
i had a friend in middle school and y’all remind me of her parents alot ! so leveled and understanding no matter what, i love that about y’all . ❤️
It is bittersweet! But that is the normal way to feel! Plus you have had her in your life snd home for over a year. At least her family excepts you and your family and part of theirs now! Weyerhaeuser is growing so fast! He is a mini John! Such a independent little guy! You were really lucky to have a great young woman in your placement! Good luck at home Miss A! You will be missed but I am so happy you are going home!! Have a Merry Christmas too! Love you!
Ms.A you have a bright future my dear. You are so compassionate.
I have to admit, this one made me cry. It’s a happy sad. So happy for Miss A and her family to be reunified and it’s fantastic that her parents see you as extended family. The world needs more love and people like you. We’ll miss Miss A too. I hope that she’ll stay part of the village and check in with comments you can pin to the videos. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Village!!
Bye miss A I will miss you in the videos and good luck sweetheart
I'm so glad that Miss A had you guys to give her as much of a positive experience in foster care as possible! And I'm so glad that her parents were willing and able to work so hard to reunify with her and her siblings! I've been here ever since Miss A's first day at your place and it warms my heart to see how far you all have come
I know Miss A going back to her loving family is the best outcome, it doesn't stop me from feeling sad for you guys. Wishing all the best for Miss A, her family and all of you guys xxx
What a sweet girl! She has great rapport with you :)
I had a few tears for this video. I can understand your rollercoaster of emotions with being so happy for her and be reunified with her family but also the fact that she is very important to your family. I'm glad that you will stay in contact. Thank you for being a caring family.
Sawyer is John’s twin!! Happy Holidays to you and your family ❤️
You guys are so amazing. I personally would find it very difficult to "let go" of a child I fell in love with. This shows that you ONLY have the best interest of the children in your care. God has special blessings for you
3 minutes in and I'm already emotional.
Adorable
I’m crying 😭 Miss A please keep us all up to date.. girl, you have loads of fans here in Australia and we want to know how you are xxx
Just went through this in July. Was soooo happysad lol. Happy for foster son and his mom but so sad to not have him around. We thankfully stayed in touch via Zoom every other week and he requested play time on video games with his "big brother" ( my bio son) . Its not easy but sooo worth it. Bless you for your labor of love! Will be hoping for the best for Miss A and her family and for your family !
So happy for Miss A and the family. I would probably cry being with someone that long and having them go even though reunification is the goal.
Two beautiful families merging 💖 I think it’s great that you guys are not having Miss A express her emotions about going back home on video.
I really appreciate your videos that show how foster care is in place to support the WHOLE family. I have thought about fostering for years, but I really wanted to get into the right mindset of completely supporting the parent's progress and reunification.
I decided to pursue international adoption first and really believe I'll be fostering in the future once my little one is home and settled in.
Miss A's presence in all of the video's will DEFINITELY be quite an adjustment, as she has been such a huge part of your family dynamic for so long, that she will truly be missed on here, when the time comes!!! For the time being, I am really hoping to soak in all of the good things left before she goes.💞
We are licensed for foster care, but with the pandemic, we haven't really gotten many calls. You guys are inspirational. You really show how foster parents should be.
I have John overload from the last half and hour... first his video about ebay and now you both... lol... you guys are fantastic
Glad you put up with us for so long 🤣
Only on the intro ad, and I am tearing up, before even seeing the video. I say it often, but I just love your sweet family. My momma's heart is just so joined with yours Whitney..... I haven't met you personally Ms. A, and even I feel like you are an internet neice. ❤❤❤❤
You’re so sweet ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I have known since a child fostering was something I want to do, due to work and career never found a stable base to make it happen. I find your channel very in tune with my questions. I want to be involved with teens esp those aging out and sibling groups. Thank you and many blessings to you all and Miss A
Sweet Sawyer getting so big and really on the move. Miss A seems very happy to be going home but you guys have had a positive impact on her. I'm sure she has gained valuable life skills just being with you for an extended period of time. I know it will be hard to say goodbye but at least you know she will be in your life.
Love the way you say John was going to do most of the talking and then he hardly got a word in😀😀😀 You have done such a brilliant job with Miss A, it has been a pleasure to watch your relationship blossom with this lively girl. I wish her happiness and nothing but good luck in the future with her birth family. Thank you for giving her a wonderful home from home experience for the last year and a half
I meant compared to sawyer, not me... I’m the talker lol
You guys are truly very special people and have such amazing hearts. It's got to be hard to see the whole picture. I am going to be honest I could not due what you do
Miss A, if you are reading this, I really hope life treats you awesome
This just thrills my soul♥️ your love, and beautiful attitude makes this RU so awesome. As a former FP, I never got to experience an RU... none of our 9 FK’s were ever able to be reunited💔
Best wishes to Miss A for the best life!
Wow. Such a heartbreaking situation
I think you’re right people don’t want to get attached and then have the kids leave. What’s more it works in the other direction too kids get attached and may not want to go home if mom and dad have been struggling time before with addiction and now they feel like oh I have stable home. I would say personally at this point of my life I would not foster for them to leave rather foster to adopt because of where my life is right now. I’m so happy miss A is going to be reunified as many kiddos don’t get to that point at all or they have to come into the system 😢. Again, super happy for her and her family.
I love you guys 🤗
I ordered something off of the list! It is not much, but I wanted to get a little something. :) It says it won't arrive until January, but I'm sure ya'll can get it to her then.
It's sad to see her room getting so bare, but at the same time...oh, it warms my heart so much to know that her belongings are back home where they (and she) belong!! And soon, she'll be there full time too with her family as it should be.
Miss A's parents have raised an incredible young lady (and incredible other kiddos as well, no doubt), and I'm so excited for them to finally be able to full-time parent their kiddos again. I'm sure they've worked hard for it.
Also sending love to them, her, and you for the tricky emotional transitions ahead. I know it won't all be easy, but the Village is sending thoughts and love.
But Miss A is right. It's not goodbye, it's the best kind of "see you later" there could be. :)
Thank you!
Yes, her parents truly raised some amazing kids.
Its so sad that we cant see her in your Channel. Will miss her so much
You guys❤. We are newly licensed,only have gotten one call so far. Waiting for next call❤
Way to go! You’ll be great!
Your video showed up on my home page, and I thought you looked familiar! Our girls are in the same class! I love your story! ❤️
Ah!!! I love it! Such a small world! (And ps: we went to the same college lol. Because I had to Facebook you to verify!)
@@BeTheVillageCommunity Go Falcons!!! See you around! ☺️