Why He Won't Propose Marriage
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- Опубліковано 16 бер 2020
- Watch the full episode: • Relationships, Childre...
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Idk why but it was so sweet to me how he so confidently said "if it mattered to you I would've proposed 7 years ago". like idk it just seems so sweet that they're obviously so committed already and it's not that they're "unsure" if they want to. the love is there, they just don't see the point.
That was so sweet on his side I feel like he would have proposed on the spot if she had said she wanted to
It really solidifies the fact that Ben loves Cristine and wants to spend his life with her. He just knows he doesn't have to prove that love with a fancy public party.
That was literally THE best statement he could have made. I absolutely love their relationship with eachother.
I wish my long term bf had that view, he just 'doesn't believe in it' :/
Ben is her slave I thought
My husband and I eloped. We had no guests, no food, no decor. We got married in a valley with snow covered mountains surrounding us. We had no pressure from anyone. It was for us and us alone. I got married to my absolute best friend and I am thrilled to say I will always look back upon that day with love and thankfulness. Weddings aren’t all about “money” and “guests” and “being the center of attention”. It’s how YOU make it. Not society.
Jennifer Marie my boyfriend of 5 years and I are planning something like this. We’re in no rush to get married at all but when we do, it won’t be a wedding, we’re just gonna go on an amazing vacation and do something small and local there. (:
We rented a cottage in the highlands, brought 6 friends, and didn't have any plan for dinner or actually even the exact spot we'd marry. The registrar met us at some mountains we liked and we walked until we found a nice spot. We made it to the only pub in the area for last call on food, then had a bonfire behind our cabin. No stress, no 100 people to kiss and greet, no structured speeches. It was fun, and easy, and a year later I'm still so happy we did it the way we did. 😊 So I feel you!! I think more couples should remember it's about you and your love!
My husband and I got married on a mountain by one of his close friends. Then afterwards we went out to eat at our favorite restaurant and ordered everything on the menu 😂
True they described a wedding not a marriage
yeah if i get married i’ll definitely elope
They aren’t getting married bc bens true love is rob
omg i miss seeing them together
ak güvercin me too
miracle stewart PLOT TWIST
And Cristine is married to DavidsTea
Oop
Its not marriage that keeps people together its their love for each other
This is true. I am married but that paper means nothing (we got married for tax reasons but dated for 5 yrs). The love for one another keeps the relationship going.
Yes
2000th like ayyy
3k
No sometimes it is xd
My parents ONLY got married so that my mom could donate her kidney to him and be under the same insurance.
My husband and I aren't legally married anymore because our oldest child has autism and we can't afford her treatment unless I'm legally a single mother. Marriage is irrelevant if the relationship is strong. Some life situations are different and because married and single people don't have the same rights and privileges under the government it depends on what you need out of it.
Its a government document and honestly the legality of marriage kind of hurts a lot of people both ways. If you love eachother just love eachother. There is way way too much hanging on that document in my opinion.
I’m learning a lot from the both of you about your views on marriage it’s fascinating thank you for sharing it an outlook in life I never considered
i personally don’t wish to be married but my fiancé proposed to me, but he and I have been engaged for 6 yrs and we don’t plan to get married because in our country I would belong to my husband as well as my earnings being deducted and if I wish to go to another country without my husband I will not be allowed to exit the country or enter it without him (and I am a pilot so that rule is plain stupid that means I need his permission every time I WORK 🤦🏻♀️)and he was opposed to that and that’s how I know I’ll stay with this man and he will stay with me even without the contract of marriage (he is an attorney so he deals with cases marital problems and issues that deals with this exact problem that’s why he is more open about equality in a marriage (tho I also find it funny that he is a “marriage doctor” but doesn’t want marriage >^
Now that's love.
💖💖💖
So unfair...
@@earthstar7534 that prove the institution of marriage is ridiculous lots of hugs to your little one
Who needs marriage when 2 people love each other so much that's all that matters
it causes so many people to be stressed
Hi Katie! I quoted this post your name in a comment on this video. The comment says "I honestly understand that fully. Marriage honestly doesn't matter. If you genuinely wanted to tie the knot but avoid the party situation, you could just go and get married without the party. You can just head over and sign the papers, but at the end of the day, it isn't necessary. Taylor's Higginbotham's comment says "Marriage is just 'I love you so much I wanna get the government involved' and betting half your crap that you'll love them forever." And I wholeheartedly agree with that statement. I also like Katie Hasset's comment stating, 'Who needs marriage when 2 people love each other. It causes so many people to be stressed.'
"
Edit: If you don't like your name being mentioned or your comment quoted, I can edit the comment above. Thanks for reading!
It isn’t that important. But it can make things like finances and taxes easier. And in the US it can be important for medical issues. Idk how it can be for other countries, but if your partner is on their death bed in hospital and you’re not married, you can be denied visitation and have no say over what happens at all.
@@MiuXiu you're right. This is one of the main reasons people get married anyway. I don't think it matters on a love basis. I just think it matters financially and having responsibility
Omg there's so many likes thank you guys xx
Katie Hassett ehhh.... why do that
''Why he won't propose?''
Best answer of all: ''Because I told him not to''
In the states, if your S/O is in an accident or something, and you’re not legally married, they will call the next of kin and not you. so yes, I feel like it’s different where you are
This is different state by state too so its even more annoying
Mirian V why can’t they get it together and just make all the laws the same, so things are easier? like I don’t get why they make it hard on themselves??
Rachel Rodriguez because state power is important in the states, that's how some states can have medicinal marijuana, and how the north didn't have slaves while the south did. It was how the United States was made.
True, Also If you're not planning to marry, better write your will now itself, If you die your property and money you've gained probably with help from your S/O will be going to their parents or (most probably) bitchy sisters and brothers
In my state, common law does not exist. And honestly, the "tax benefits" is bs. When we claimed taxes at the end of the year, while "single" we both would get $2k or more. He has a son & we have a son together. He would claim his & I would claim ours. One year bc we had shitty jobs, got $10k back combined. After getting married, we're lucky to get $2k. We got married primarily my jobs insurance was going to charge me $2k/yr for "domestic partner" coverage. While I love the fact that my husband can speak for me if i need him to, i regret getting married bc honestly, if we mess up anything, we're both at fault.
Safiya and Tyler: Got married and want kids
Corrine and Rob: Got married and don't want kids
Cristine and Ben: Don't want to get married and don't want kids
My aunt and uncle: We'll take the Cristine and Ben, please.
Thank you for pointing that out, because I think it really highlights that people with different goals for marriage and kids can still be really good friends.
@@mikkurzhal7390 Your welcome! I just thought that since they are the 3 "ladies of UA-cam" and they are all friends, I would make a joke about it.
Wait..saf and Tyler want kids?I didn't know that
@@denarisfeilda2678 they mentioned it in passing I believe?
Lol, love it. I’ll take a Corrine and Rob please! ☝️😝😂
Marriage is just "I love you so much I wanna get the government involved" and betting half your shit that you'll love them forever
True tho
Hi Taylor! I quoted this post and your name in a comment on this video. The comment says "I honestly understand that fully. Marriage honestly doesn't matter. If you genuinely wanted to tie the knot but avoid the party situation, you could just go and get married without the party. You can just head over and sign the papers, but at the end of the day, it isn't necessary. Taylor's Higginbotham's comment says "Marriage is just 'I love you so much I wanna get the government involved' and betting half your crap that you'll love them forever." And I wholeheartedly agree with that statement. I also like Katie Hasset's comment stating, "Who needs marriage when 2 people love each other. It causes so many people to be stressed."
"
Ps. If you don't like your name being mentioned or your comment being quoted, I can edit this comment. Thanks for reading!
@@isabelladgriff hey thank you for asking, I dont mind at all!
Taylor Higginbotham Your welcome! Thanks for letting me use it. I honestly hate being told I’m unoriginal or seeing that my comment got copied, so I like to tell them if I can that I posted the comment and to include their name.
Don't see anything wrong with that. It's wanting to have your relationship acknowledged by your government.
Ben: You own my heart, sweetie
Me: 😭😭❤️
Ikr 💖💖🥴
That impact❤
I was looking for this comment!
Same!!
Where does he said it?
When Christine said "A party sounds awful", I felt that.
Same. I love going to parties but not a party celebrating me, I don't like being the center of attention.
If I ever get married I want immediate family only. Have a bbq potluck with hamburgers and hotdogs....super low key and relaxed and my cats will be there too...people can drift out as they like no need to stay for hours
My parents aren’t married, they’ve been dating since they were in high school, I’ve always asked them when I was little why they weren’t married. My mom said “ some people don’t want to get married, and it’s to expensive “ and I agree with my mom it is expensive. You guys are so cute together, you don’t need to get married. And you’re so pretty
Maddy Stidham it cost my husband and I $5 to get married lmao.
Hope Locke how
i mean don’t they want to make it legal? i get why but what about in documents don’t they want to be legally together but can scratch the label of husband/wife (do they call each other gf/bf or like partner?)
but no hate though! just curious i don’t know anyone of this situation
also weddings/marriages doesn’t need to be expensive there are just people who like to make it expensively special
Hope Locke not everyone is like that
S we got married in Oklahoma. Marriage licenses are $5 if you get premarital counseling. We got eloped in our pastors backyard!
Ben : You already own my heart sweety
Cristine : *GIGGLES THEN DIRECTLY CHANGES THE SUBJECT*
Me : WE SAW YOU OKAY.
So cute.
As a gay woman I honestly just want to marry because I can.
I love this
EXACTLY! honestly id still probably elope but id literally just do it bc it's legal now & to spite the government
as you shouldddd
That's a horrible idea. Marrying someone just because you can vs because they will make a good life partner is terribly flawed.
@@tiredtears4177 if we don't get along we can just divorce again 😂
My husband wore an engagement ring lol guys can wear one, most just don't want to
Vanessa Lewis so did my husband 💞
Mine did too! 🥰
In Spain we have what I'd call "promise rings", they're silver bands that both partners wear to show that they're in a serious committed relationship, and when you get married you start using a gold band instead of the silver. (it's kinda traditional and not everybody does it anymore, but it's still common)
true, my fiancée is wearing the engagement ring in my place cause he likes it more 😂
@@anelecky I'm Spanish and I've never heard of that wtf 😅
I didn't even know Christine had a podcast channel until now
@@ckdmdkdmsldm100 I just spelled her name wrong :/ I only ever really just hear her say it and maybe I just forgot
@@wonderstruckaj lemme guess.. Someone came for you for spelling her name wrong and now they chickened out and deleted their comment
@@marieantoinettepaddelboot3149 I didn't even realize they deleted their comment until you replied😂 But yeah...
@@wonderstruckaj how very mature of them...
Why do people get so uptight if you make a mistake. "Uh- it is spelled this way" who cares?
My mom and stepdad got married in a closet sized room in matching T-shirts, we only had their parents and my siblings, they bacically just signed papers and boom mAiRrIaGe
midnight Lilly animations that’s my dream 😂
“A party sounds awful”
I felt this in my soul.
RIGHT?!
"You own my heart sweetie" omgg beyyynnn ur so sweet to cristine!
I really love hearing other people’s viewpoints on “big moments” in life. I’m in the boat of wanting to get married (in the US and personally for me it’s something I want), but the thought of throwing a wedding seems draining and a waste of money to me. I do feel the same in regards to the “giving away” aspect of the ceremony, as well as the whole “asking her father before proposing” thing. I can’t imagine my boyfriend asking my father for permission for something that is entirely my choice. But hey, some people are into it, I just find it interesting how differently people can feel on a topic.
Samantha Myers I want to get married but don’t want to throw a big wedding or have kids lol. I’m not sure a lot of people have a similar opinion as me as most either don’t want to get married at all or have marriage but also kids.
I just recently got married and I did the whole big princess wedding and I didn’t regret a moment nor a dime spent. But I’ve always been the person to enjoy big parties like that. But I wanted to comment on the whole asking the father and being given away. My fiancé didn’t ask anybody, he more so told them and instead of being given away I was walked down the isle by both my parents and at the end of the isle my in-laws and fiancé waited for us. We used the moment as a joining of 2 families as opposed to me leaving one to be apart of another.
Samantha Myers my Brother and his husband got married without telling anyone at a courthouse wedding. The only reason we figured out is because my cousin told me that my brother was referring to his fiancé as his husband on Twitter!
I got married in feb, we went to the registry office (court house for US) with 10 of us, and went for tea and scones 😅. Best day ever, even being heavily pregnant, on crutches due to pelvic pain and with a giant swollen purple leg due to a blood clot
My aunt and uncle eloped, and my aunt's dad version of "giving her away" was high fiving her and handing her the car keys. I think it's the funniest thing
See thing is people mistake a wedding for marriage. You don’t need to have a giant wedding to get married. And marriage shouldn’t be something you do for legal benefits. Or because society wants you to. I think marriage is about making a commitment to your person. You can get married without anyone there and just rejoice in your love. You don’t have to wear a ring it’s not what marriage is. And I hate how people have put such a negative connotation on marriage.
They've already made a commitment to each other. They don't seem to think badly of marriage; they're just explaining why it's not for them because people ask them a lot.
Because they are in a common law relationship, they have actually made a commitment both legally and financially and emotionally
I just dont see the point against getting married if you are already going to commit to someone longer than most marriages. Its the 21st century, you can get a prenup if thats the issue, otherwise it just seems very noncommittal either way not to considering a ring and wedding are not even a requirement of getting married.
@@xxnekonekox It's not a point *against* getting married. They're just not doing it. They're not saying anyone else shouldn't.
@@xxnekonekox You shouldn't need a point against it. You should need a point for.
It's literally just a piece of paper. If you want to get married because it means something to you then that's fine. Personally, I don't really care. I don't need a piece of paper to prove I love someone. We already know.
Prenups aren't the issue. It just isn't needed unless you get benefits for it like tax. If you don't, then why bother with the hassle?
Everyone in my family (besides one aunt and uncle) just got married at the courthouse and then went out to eat at a restaurant. Super chill, nothing flashy and fancy.
That's what my husband and I did! And then we went to the zoo after lunch.
to the engagement ring thing: I live in Germany and here both partners wear an engagement ring which is also the wedding ring. also they are not that fancy they look more simple and mostly don't have huge diamonds. so it's not like the man taking the woman from their father or something like that because you rather decide together that you want to get married and you also choose the rings together.
Lara I guess it’s different all over Germany because I live there too and all engaged men around me don‘t have an engagement ring and the women have separate wedding rings 😬
@@usch5271 that could be. I mean every region has their different tradition but I thought this was a thing in whole Germany.
I live in Baden Württemberg so I just know what we do here
In Croatia man and woman walk together in church, dad giving away daughter is against the whole “this is my decition”
@@Pepa14pig same here, i like it more like that
@@holladiew4ldfee nope, I live in BW too and a friend of mine got engaged and she wears the ring. She wants to other one during/after the marriage
"You own my heart sweetie" ~ Ben thats so sweetttt
So: 1) Weddings are problematic (generally expensive, excessively social, & have archaic traditions that clash with beliefs) 2) Marriage isn’t necessary in Canada to be able to care for each other and share property. 3) Religion is a large component of marriage. 4) Marriage implies ownership and not necessarily love or a symbiotic relationship.
I’ve always thought of marriage as a way to officially announce to the world “ I want to spend the rest of my life with this person” and show physically at least how much in love with the person you are and that to me has weirdly always put a warm feeling in my heart lol. But I do see your point because in ye olden days marriage wasn’t for love- it was basically selling off women to gain more land or power. It’s interesting to me how much that has changed from a means to an end to a declaration of love. Also side note- if you choose to not get married to your partner, I am not saying you don’t love that person, merely that you love that person but don’t feel the need to announce it to the rest of the world by getting married.
lo l I literally only explained why people get married and why it’s fine if you don’t want to get married. If you don’t want to get married it’s fine, just don’t shit on people who do get married cuz it’s none of your business or money 🙄
Ella Soloveichik in ye olden days they very rarely loved each other lol
@@DoodleDoo2 I get what you're saying. Memory is precious, so moments like that can make you smile when you grow old. However, you aren't obligated to announce that to the world. Your relationship only includes you and your partner. You dont need anyone's validation, because you're the one that loves him and not your parents, or your friend. So marriage is not mandatory, and is only for those that likes to celebrate it with their family and friends.
Elena Ravenwood i never said you had to. I only explained why people who get married might want to get married.
The father giving me away did not sit well with me. So, when I got married I had both my parents walk down the aisle and I gave them a hug once we reached the front row and then walk up to my husband by myself. I thought it was a great alternative.
Love this idea!
I walked down the aisle by myself 😂 by choice. I've always been very independent. Both my parents were present, but we were told by our officiant in the rehearsal that its actually no longer a common practice to use the whole "who gives this woman away" thing. We live in Canada lol
My cousin did that. If I get married, I'd love them both to walk me, or just my little brother for the fun of it
I've been with my husband for 10 years. We didn't want a wedding, I didn't want to drop that kind of money on a party for others. We did it through the court house and bam! There it was.
I agree about dropping money on a party for others. That's why our wedding was like a massive Xmas party. People were so confused, but I thought fuck it, I love Christmas and I'd rather spend money making me happy than my guests happy 😂 (it's also why we got married in December, which everyone moaned about coz they were cold)
A couple that doesn’t want kids or marriage this is so rare but I live for it because they don’t let society pressure them they live their truth
I don't think it's rare these days...depends on the country a bit, of course. In the US, it might be rare, because Christianity and the patriarchal background is very alive and well, so a lot of people still grow up to believe that you have to get married and have kids like God indended, etc.
in the region that i live in Germany, is actually rare to see married young couples ( most who are married are older generation )
@@Futu06 Even in the US I've been seeing it more and more. Like example off the top of my head: UA-cam. Threadbanger doesn't want kids. Markiplier has said he doesn't want kids, and he and Amy honestly don't seem in too much of a hurry to get married either, when they've been dating for like 6 years now. Captainsparklez tried to keep it really on the downlow, but a twitch friend revealed he got a vasectomy--so he doesn't want kids.
Like it's still pretty rare, but more and more in the US I'm seeing people--especially people with positions of influence over the younger generation--openly not wanting kids or marriage.
@@Futu06 it’s not rare
You dont have kids? That's a lie. I know you have 2 perfectly cute furry-kids, one of which was on the table during the video xD (Yes, I consider cats as family, sue me)
Family yes, children no.
Theres actually a bill in the US that’s trying to add pet custody to divorce proceedings
@@erinwells7782 This is something my husband and I have talked about. It stresses me out to think we would have to split our pets (a nightmare for me).
@@erinwells7782 ok no. Because if something belongs to partner one, and partner two gets everything, that's not okay. If it's your item, especially before you got married or even met, and we are just as emotionally attached to it pets as we are children, but still. And a split custody is already stressful for kids, but it would be even worse for an animal that doesn't understand what's going on. I'm not sorry that I'm ranting, but it's just a lot.
silentj624 r/woooosh
“Marriage” matters more in the heart than on paper imo
In any relationship tbh. Marriage doesn't make a relationship last. Communication and trust does.
*having a serious conversation about their relationship* *shows cat by their feet mid discussion* 😂😂😂 I love it
My aunt and uncle have been together for about 13 or 14 years. They haven't gotten married, mainly due to their student debt. Their love is tangible and real and they care about each other so much. You don't need marriage to prove your love to someone.
I find this so heartwarming and it gives me the piece of mind that I’m not strange for not wanting to get married or have children. Like every time I say that to someone after they ask they look at me like I shot their dog or something. Like it’s such an outlandish thing.
My husbands in the army so we had to get married or he wouldn’t be able to take me with him when he went overseas but we both agree that If we didn’t have to marry we wouldn’t and people don’t get it lol
Exactly this for us! We're married young only because of the benefits we get with that paperwork in the military
I feel like being married and having a wedding are two different things. But you're right, tax breaks and religion are the only reason marriages are still a thing. Good for you guys!! It gives me and my man hope since we feel the same way lol
"If it did matter I would like propose 7 years ago" ok I get it now😌
Ashabriel Nadiva Candialmeera I’m glad someone gets it because that exchange left me confused... the whole narrative was pretty anti marriage but then he admitted that he would have proposed if she wanted to get married but a second later he backtracked when pressed on the statement. I really thought he was going to say he never considered it because it’s not what he wants, either. Hmm
@@alic6419 the thing is, he said "IF it did matter I would..." . He then explain that if it would've matter to them and had a different concept of it then yes sure. But they don't. He didn't backtracked, just stated a hypothetical situation. Hope I explained it well 😋
I don’t want to get married, I don’t see a point in it, my views are the same as Cristine. BUT if my boyfriend really wanted to, if it was his dream, if it made him happy, I would consider it. Of course. It’s not like having children. I mean, it’s just a paper. So I totally get what Ben meant. :)
@@alic6419 Basically "I love you and want to spend my life with you, just like a married couple does, but we are not married because neither of us feel the need to prove our love with a fancy public party." He's saying that neither of them value marriage as proof of lifelong commitment, but if they were in an alternate universe where they DID value it, they would have been married YEARS ago.
you need to double check that all the legal documentation applies in an emergent situation. There's a woman in my workplace whose long time bf died in their bed next to her but the paramedics couldn't tell her anything since she was not legally related to him in any capacity. They had to tell the guy's brother over the phone and she could listen.
Yep, my mother's cousin had to get married after 20 years of living together with kids because her husband was in dire conditions and discovered that if he died she and their kids would end up homeless, since on the paper only he was paying for the house and thus only he had rights on it
Not sure where you live, since it can be different in different countries, but I believe here in Canada after two people live together for a certain number of years they are automatically in a common law marriage. They can also go through some other legal papers, maybe alter their wills, etc., but I don’t think the emergency situation would be an issue under common law
Also, as they said in the vid, insurance is quite different here as well so it’s not necessary for couples to get married in almost all cases
@@lindsay4254 that's the point, in CANADA it works like this but it's the exception to the rule, in most places of the world you might have lived together and even had kids for decades, if there's no legal paper confirming you are a stable couple, you are complete strangers in front of the law.
@@KyrieFortune
Are you American by any chance? Because that honestly just sounds screwed up
In the UK next of kin is far looser and you can elect someone who isn't related to you - even a best friend. Obviously cohabiting couples also count within this. It's actually very common. There are some financial tax benefits to being married, but there also aren't any detriments to not being married either.
I know your circumstances probably aren't unusual in places where a lot of emphasis is put on marriage such as asia or very religious countries, however for socially developed countries it just does not seem right.
So you ARE married you just didnt have a wedding and dress and ring. Thats chill.
no...? they aren’t?...
@@cora8298 woosh
pluviophile 93 do you mean r/woosh
Cora Rolfes common law marriage
Well.. no. Common-law partnerships are not the same as a marriage, as you don't need a license or witnesses or anything like that to become common-law. You just default to being a common-law couple in the eyes of the law if you have lived together for a certain number of years (depending on the province). Common-law is essentially a form of legal protection for couples who chose to not marry.
I’ve always heard marriage talked about in such a close minded, one sided way. It was very refreshing to see it construed so differently!
My partner and I have been together since we were teens, I was 15 he was 16, were still together today, and we have a 11 year old child together, I’m now 29 and he’s 30. He asked me to marry him when we were in our early 20s. I said no for those exact reasons you and Ben are talking about. We’re still together and we grow stronger as a unit and individuals each day. I believe in soulmates, and that’s what we are.
I’m living for the cat cam
The Hubby & I are high school sweethearts. We've been together for 15years (we're 31). We literally grew up together. We got married young bc marriage was important to me. I was raised by my grandparents so I always viewed marriage as something everyone did when they found what they believed to be true love💘.
My husband & I have been together since we were 16y/o. He proposed @17, we moved in together that summer, got our first dog together @18, got married @19, had our 1st child @27, the second child @30. We're both currently 31.
I love my husband & I wouldn't change a thing but I can see how marriage isn't right for everyone & every couple.
that’s why people’s dads walk them down the aisle?? i just thought they were there for moral support and stuff
Yep.. it's basically a "It's yours now. My job here is done" thing
that’s why they call it “giving the bride away”!
Oh honey, no. Weddings were a business transaction, women were property, and it's also to make sure the bride can't run away. Why do you think women had a dowry? It's to make her more appealing. She didn't own her dowry, it was part and parcel of marrying her.
You should spend some time researching wedding traditions. It’s almost all patriarchal and icky.
In ancient Chinese culture they wouldn't even give a baby girl her own name cause she would become other people's property anyway
My husband and I got married because we had our son and realised that for us family meant marriage. Before our son we didn’t see a reason why. Our son and solidifying our family unit. I’m from Aus
What do you mean with family meant marriage?
that’s really nice!!
Yay! I just discovered you guys have a podcast and I'm ecstatic! I'm always eager to find out about your opinions on things (via Ben's deep speeches in your Troom Troom nail hack videos) so I'll be binge-listening to all the episodes for the foreseeable future. Thank you for sharing your lovely personalities. You're refreshingly hilarious and I admire how healthy, well-balanced of a relationship you seem to have built. I agree with your world views and really look up to you as a 20-something hoping to be a non-problematic grown-up lol Much love x ♡
I think this is the only video in which Cristine/Ben didn't crack up and didn't curse
I completely agree with u on the attention/money reasons of a wedding. However my parents got married in a tiny room in a registry office and there was 7 people there (including them). Flashy weddings are not my families thing 😂
Nerddom Square - yeah, I suppose as my parents were relatively old when they got married (50s) and had been together for over 20 years they knew they wouldn't get a divorce
They are in mine and I have politely started to skip them. As it is half have ended in divorce. These big weddings are so boring, all the same format. The only nice part is hanging out with family I have not seen for a while.
I'm amused that Ben thought Cristine wanted to get married due to her love of Say Yes to the Dress. That exact conversation happened with my boyfriend. Except my love of that show has more to do with being around my seamstress grandma as a youngster, not about getting married.
Even though I’m opposite to all of this, being a Christian young woman, I love how they don’t hate on it the idea and are respectful. I think it’s cool with what they are doing and it fits them, with what they choose to do. Interesting to look at it from their perspective. Such a cute couple!
I love having a highlights area, because it offers me the chance to quickly find my answer to a question. It’s so helpful and amazing! Thanks guys!! Also the cat cam is iconic
I noticed that you use a wedding as a basis not to have a marriage. For many centuries couples have had marriage without a wedding. For those who do want a wedding there are so many options that you can choose to have any kind you want. Its honestly a beautiful things to have a ceremony to show that commitment you have to your partner. I would highly recommend it!
To be honest if you two ever gotten married I just kind of pictured your "ideal wedding" would just be getting papers signed at a court house and going back home to spend time together.
Good on both of you for making this choice together. I know people are pressured into marriage and honestly it should just be a choice.
Personally I want to get married because to me it has a symbolic importance to me of the rings meaning we are in it together and I personally want the experience of wearing a dress and the party celebrating me and whoever I choose to be with.
But hearing your reasoning of you now having the same values or wanting the social aspect. Just the fact that you two are comfortable enough with eachother to say "this is what we want and it makes us happy" is just romantic at its core and a beautiful way of thinking.
7:32 “You own my heart, sweetie” HOW DID I MISS THIS THE FIRST TIME
This is EXACTLY how I feel about this topic as well! I am so happy to hear others think this way too ❤
I got married back in 2018 and it was great but I agree that it's a societal push to get married and I didn't have my dad give me away because I hated and still hate the idea of it my dad was devastated but it's not my family's celebration it's mine and my husband's. I loved my wedding but I am also an extrovert so I love parties. I hated planning it but the cost wasn't bad that being said we got married in the backyard of my best friend who preformed our ceremony. We didn't have the traditional food and drinks and cake but our Walmart cake and $10 wedding dress was perfect for me. Also I love you both so much your videos keep my mind on something positive during times that are terrifying for me as a mom of a one year old and myself having two autoimmune diseases and still working through this time. Thank you for all the content the silly and serious alike. I love you and I'll never stop watching!!!
"You own my heart sweetie"
Hi I would like to order a Ben lmao
I'd love to see a video talking about a marriage vs weddings. You talked quite a lot about weddings. But a wedding is just a ceremony to mark the beginning of your marriage. And the things that you have issues with in regards to weddings don't have to be that way for you. You don't have to waste money, buy rings, wear a dress, be given away, etc. in order to make a commitment.
Cristine's smiles when Ben said "you own my heart" was so lovely ❤️
Hahahahha podcast highlights was a good idea!! Thank you!
Did anyone notice that CRISTINE IS WEARING AN “I DIED” SHIRT OMG
Thank you, Cristine & Ben, for addressing many of the same points that I have tried to explain to people who don't understand why I believe marriage is unnecessary. I wish the very best for both of you! 💜
It's your choice, as long as you two are happy that's all that matters. I love say yes to the dress!! I'm such a traditional girl who wants all that but it's also partially for my religion and my family is all over the world so it'll be nice to have them come together as I'm very sentimental. It's so nice that you two are so open and honest, it's really refreshing. It's really nice that you have chosen to talk to us about this. This is so sweet tho!!! It's all about personal belief, if you don't want to then yes it is a waste of money. In a way its personal preference. Sending you both so much love and hoping you're all safe at this time
I love this so much! This is the best explanation I've ever heard of why it is PERFECTLY OK to not want to be married and still be in a relationship 💜💜💜💜
My husband and I both wore engagement rings and my mom walked me down the aisle. I can see the whole “one man owning you giving you to another man to own” view of it.
Everything Cristine mentioned is spot on exactly how I feel. I'm 36 and have been with my partner 10 years. But all my friends are married with kids, theres so much societal pressure to do it. Thank you for articulating your views!
Oh my gosh- that’s exactly how I feel too! It’s sometimes difficult to explain to people but you put it into words well :)
Hey guys! Loved hearing your thoughts. Just wanna chime in. I think a wedding can be whatever you want it to be. Scrap the “dad gives me away” thing, or the stuffy dresses and suits or the ridiculously expensive anything. For me the thing that’s kinda special about a wedding is that it’s one day where you and your family/friends can celebrate and remember your love, the way you want to open them up to it. For some it might be traditional or expensive but in reality it can be as casual as you want it to be.
this was very interesting. The views on marriage and weddings, where I come from, are very different. It's very individualized, based on the couples. The core is to have a contract of what you accept and will not accept in a relationship. No jewelry, or big wedding (unless you want that).
“I don’t like that attention”, says the holo queen of UA-cam! I love you still😂
Totally agree with everything, plus for me in Asian weddings (southeast Asian specifically Malaysia) there is usually this part of the ceremony where the whole family from bride and groom's side of the family goes on stage and the toast is literally about getting lots of kids and passing on the family line which is so archaic especially when I don't want kids (many other parts that emphasizes this and other ridiculous aspects), and how after marriage you belong to the groom's family technically and certain festivals you HAVE to celebrate with your husband's family on that day itself. You'd think this was no longer happening but I have heard many horror stories. Subjecting myself to this social expectation is definitely not ideal
Thank you very much guys this is the coolest program that I have see so far from canada .kind regards from Europe.
they have what I want in a relationship. it feels so freeing seeing someone openly say they don't want a big wedding and they don't want children, and idk what the big deal about pressuring them into it is. it's not for everyone, just like Cristine says.
My grandparents aren’t married. They have 10 children, the oldest in their mid-fifties. Marriage isn’t needed.
this podcast is both super interesting and calming at the same time. Amazing.
I love your views on marriage... I myself am married... My husband & I were together for 7 years (& already had 2 kids) before we decided to get married... But we talked A LOT about the reasons why we wanted to get married before we made the decision that it was what was right for us... So many marriages fail nowadays & one of multitude of reasons I think is because people have this fantasy about the big white wedding and then after everything will be perfect! And in most cases its a very disapointing reality that things don't become perfect overnight... So we went into our marriage knowing it was just a piece of paper (that would protect us & our kids if anything ever happened to either of us) and that it wasn't going to change anything if we signed it! I love that you & Beyyyn are happy & completely content w/ just being with each other forever! 💗💗💗
I love that you guys are talking about this and not wanting kids because I feel alone when it comes to how I feel about kids and marriage. I also don’t want kids and I don’t wanna get married. I’ve been with my bf for 6 years this coming January and he’s still hoping I’ll change my mind about kids and makes jokes like “baby practice” blah blah blah so it’s nice to see we have similar reasons for being anti marriage and kids and still not wanting to make people who have kids or who are married feel bad because that’s great too. It’s just not for me
No need to get married! Quite a lot of people here in Finland live together, without ever getting married. My mom and dad have lived together since - 87, have 3 kids and a loving family dynamic. You do you, trust me, you guys will last a lifetime regardless ❤️
Thank you for talking about this🙏
Thank you for speaking about this. I don't want to get married or have kids either but the pressure from my family is so strong!
My boyfriend and I don't believe in marriage either. We pretty much are married just without the paperwork or jewelry. We call each other husband/wife to other people since most people assume we're married anyway but that's the extent.
@@breatheinpoetry 'without the jewelry' = No ring
Louisa Jay I cant really speak for myself 3 weeks ago but I must’ve missed that 😂
@@breatheinpoetry I figured 😆. I realised after i posted it that the comment wasn't recent and immediately regretted saying anything
Louisa Jay I still appreciate it! I made myself look really dumb 🤣
I’m happy for you. That’s what I want
“I don’t pre own you”
“You own my heart sweetie”
🥺🥺🥺
I love the neon signs. They’re cute -especially the cat and the cup of coffee/tea 💗🦋
this is such a cute video hehe love you both!! but i’m genuinely curious what do you introduce ben as when you guys meet new people or family?
You already know that Christine’s response is going to be good when she has to stop for a tea break
I also felt the “father walking his daughter down the aisle” thing was weird, so I had both my mom and dad walk me 😀 one parent on either side of me. And during our engagement, my husband wore an ring too, his was just a simple black rubber ring :)
The insight into the legal aspect of your relationship is really great info. It is so different in the states and as someone with very similar beliefs, it’s legally harder here to have all of that without marriage
i really like seeing this more "real", mature side of you guys!!
If I were them, I would be so sick of the “but why aren’t you getting married???” Basically, if marriage has meaning to you then you should get married. If you have no emotional attachment to marriage and you can’t identify a logic-based benefit for it, then all that’s left is peer/societal pressure and F that. Just because it means something profound to some people, doesn’t mean it has to be a significant thing in everybody’s lives. A happy ending and a committed, healthy relationship doesn’t always have to end in marriage.
So, legal wedding is a no-go, but think of the Holo (or banana) tux, Holo ring, Holo dress. 3 reasons to at least pretend wed right there!
You explain so well! I feel exactly the same. If it feels right then marriage shouldn’t make any difference. When people ask me why I don’t want to get married I’ll send them this video😂😃
I think you can reflect and understand the problematic parts of having a wedding and still want to do it! :) I have always had conflicting thoughts about a wedding and I have still not decided whether it's for me or not. Although I do see that a lot of it is rather archaic, I also (very romantically) find some kind of comfort in the tradition of celebrating a conscious choice to commit to someone with all my (our) friends/family. I mean it's everyone's personal choice and we must respect that choosing to have a wedding, in any iteration, does not equate a lack of reflection and acknowledgement of the more problematic aspects of it. (This is specifically me responding to Christine's comment about at approx 6:55.)
ty 4 readin bai
Nobody should judge couples for not wanting to get married or have kids. I want to get married, but I don’t want children and that’s fine...yet people still question me and say, “you’ll change your mind when you get older.” I’m almost 25.....Why does it matter to them? It’s my life. Why should people do these things just because it’s what society expects? I completely support your relationship and choices 💗
I share the same sentiment with them, honestly. However, I am Asian so you know what that means haha I know I'm stereotyping Asians but that's just how it is. We're religious and there's societal pressure. I want to have a partner but I don't really wanna get married and have kids and it's very hard to convince my parents that that's what I want.
Awww Ben said you own his ❤️!! That's so much better than any engagement ring!! Love you guys and can't wait to get my Holo!! I pretty much ordered them all!!
My maternal aunt and uncle are the same. They've been together for like 30 years and they are so good together.
My old coworker is getting married and said to her dad she doesn’t want to be walked down the aisle and he got upset as he took it as she didn’t want him part of the wedding but she’s like I’m not your property I don’t need anyone to “give me away”
Get Starbucks sponsorship, have Jen lead your “ceremony”, menchie and Zyler can be your best man/maid of honor and you can exchange coffee/tea instead of rings. Say some cheesy sentences, make a youtube video and collect ad revenue 😎🤑
PeLu414 or better yet a sponsorship by David’s Tea
and cristine could wear her sweatpants and holo jacket
That would be fun to watch!!
More like banana and tea exchange, but i like the idea 🤣🤣
I LOVE that you two are addressing this topic. I'm in a long term relationship where neither of us have any want to get married and we have to navigate this question all the time.
I live in the US, I'm also a tax professional, I'll say that with the TCJA in place the "advantages" of getting married are limited. I often find that performing a MFJ/MFS analysis is helpful to married couples who are not claiming children.
I really appreciate both of you addressing this topic with so much grace because it can be difficult for people to understand why there are some of us out there that don't feel this institution is for us.
I completely respect others choice to get married. I celebrate weddings with my loved ones. My partner and I just don't feel that it is necessary in order for us to build a meaningful life together.
I'll add: the real benefit of marriage in the US is healthcare coverage being marginally less expensive, but his position doesn't offer it and I'm a graduate student and am covered by the university healthcare system.
If we had gotten married I would have had to list his income on my financial aid paperwork and would not have been eligible for many of the scholarships and work study programs that I have gotten.
Your household income level pays a large part in the US financial aid system, as it pertains to education.
100% agree!! My husband and I married because we met while I was living on a visa in the UK and he's from Sweden, and I knew I wanted to come back to Canada and settle. We dated 3 years and knew we wanted to stay together, so we had a quick ceremony in Scotland and applied for his visa to come to Canada with me. It has strengthened us, but we both never wanted marriage the way other people do. He got me a very very low key ring with no big stone, my actual band is a very thin gold band. I was glad there was just us and a couple friends at the wedding because I don't do well with crowds. It was perfect and I don't think we would have bothered at all if we were both Canadian or Swedish born. I don't think marriage needs to be such a big focus for couples and people go so overboard. My brother and his girlfriend have been together 13+ years and have a child, no wedding needed!!