Dr. Todd Grande and the Perils of Pop Psychology
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- Опубліковано 8 чер 2024
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In this video, I talk about pop psychology and narcissistic mothers. In particular, I discuss the merits of Dr. Todd Grande's content and whether it may be promoting harmful ideas. - Розваги
I unsubbed back when he did the video about the situation around Kellyanne Conway's daughter. He was so dismissive of her concerns and the abuses that were allegedly happening, plus the sprinkling of misogyny on top just gave it that eau de poopoo.
He seems pretty tough on Andrew Tate though.
@@markstriker925 Haven't seen any videos from Dr. G about him, but it's not exactly hard to be hard on Andrew Tate. 😆
I liked listening to him as background noise so I never really knew what he was saying 💀 safe to say that’s another channel off the list 😔
Same!!!
same. the way he just dismissed everything she said as an ungrateful teenager being dramatic was disgusting and very disturbing
Dr. Grande is not a clinical psychologist, he has a PhD in “counselor education and supervision” from Regent university (a private Christian school founded by Pat Robertson). I watched his videos years ago and like others there was a specific point I stopped watching him. I work in mental health research and am hoping to get into a clinical psych PhD program - no actual clinical psychologist has the time or energy to churn out content like Todd. He’s unemployed.
Yea my psychiatrist and former therapist are always busy.
I have to make appointments for mid year early in the year. And she is an amazing psychologist so I understand why she is so booked.
I cannot ever imagine her making youtube videos.
Education
Regent University
Doctor of Philosophy (Ph.D.)Counselor Education and Supervision
2010 - 2013
Wilmington University
MastersCommunity Counseling
2008 - 2010
Excelsior University
BSPsychology
2006 - 2007
So easy to just google
@@MartinMartin-bh4ke None of those are clinical psychology. None of that makes him qualified in that very specific field.
BS is fcking bachelor level. It's literally just four years. ITS THE DAMN ENTRY STEP
@@elvingearmasterirma7241 His degrees make him simply a teacher who studied psychology and as he says "this is my opinion".
I dont know what people are trying to manipulate him and his image for, but it is likely because said something a certain group disagrees with.
Stay mad.
@@MartinMartin-bh4ke I mean considering you just pulled that google up and think its makes HL's comment nul and void, saying
Its his opinion
Doesnt mean anything. Especially when people like you dont understand the bare bone basics of the different branches of psychology.
He could say the most outdated stuff and y'all will lap it up without a second thought
Thats dangerous
i said this in a subcomment but it's really important so let me reiterate: he is NOT a psychiatrist, not a psychologist, not a therapist. just a counselor with an educational phd.
his phd is in "counselor education" (as in, his phd was in education to teach future counselors, so it's only half actual psych material itself) and despite that being many years of education, it's not specifically tuned in terms of a background sufficient to talk about the vast array of mental illnesses, struggles and diagnosis processes he covers. his education is better prep for teaching his textbook knowledge, and it's evident he didn't retain the important parts of that either. i will add that he's licensed (though not all counselors have to be, the word is slippery) which means he has to take 40 "continuing education" credits every 2 years to keep his license in delaware. he's supposed to be staying in the loop research wise, though lots of licensed professionals do their best to drown it out.
an lpc is often barely able to tackle long term psychotherapy, but by calling himself a doctor without being super clear on what he means by it, he's misleading people so significantly that they automatically take his word as if it's from someone in an entirely different ballgame qualifications wise. for reference there's an easy breakdown of the differences at the bottom of this comment. only psychiatrists are actual doctors but people could still see a psychologist as one and be not that far off. a counselor, however, is important but FAR off from a medical doctor.
he does disclose some of this information in his bio but doesn't explain it in the beginning of even relevant videos so very few people actually know. all he tends to say is that he's "not diagnosing anyone" as he armchair assesses and implied-diagnoses people when it's highly likely he barely learned more than a page or two of information on many of the disorders he's covering, possibly many years out of date. counselors can legally diagnose but should responsibly refer patients upward if the problems are complicated or long-lasting, to someone who either has a broad spectrum understanding of disorders, or specializes in their needs.
it's bad enough that he's got awful sources to cite for people who want more info, but it's far worse that he may not KNOW of better himself. i know almost exactly how much of his education was dedicated to abnormal psychology like he usually covers and it's minimal, only basic overviews of many of the disorders. he may not remember how to do well-scoured research or think it's not important enough, who knows. but i guess if he cared about his impact he wouldn't mock people openly, lol.
_____________________________
(general overview of titles, not exact nor encompassing but you get the point, of just how different what he is allowed to do vs what he implies he does is)
counselor: bachelor's, usually master's in some "people science" field like counseling, psychology or education. how much of your education is based in dealing with actual abpsych varies significantly. usually short term and works with a specific population (school counselor, social work counselor, or a general one for example). can guide people through life circumstances and may be qualified to diagnose common and easy to spot conditions like anxiety or clinical depression, but private outpatient counselors generally shouldn't diagnose beyond that unless they have a specific background in abpsych or another specific area. not always even licensed depending on the state.
therapist: needs master's in some "people science" like counselors, must be licensed, and usually works with a specific modality or practice like treating conditions. can diagnose but still may refer to psychology if symptoms are complicated or outside their usual range. the difference between these and counselors is that counselors under the legal definition are generally to serve a population (a local region, a business, a school, etc) while therapists are seen as more based in clinical support for disorders and social/personal improvement.
psychologist: finally, these guys can do all of that but they can also assess and diagnose more complex situations except they don't usually do assessments for neuropsych stuff like autism. tend to naturally specialize to a disorder or group of disorders but not always. specialize more in in-depth clinical treatment of disorders, like with more involved modalities.
psychiatrist: these guys are actual doctors and can do all of that but also prescribe medication. they tend to oversee and treat biologically but could theoretically give clients psychotherapy and whatnot.
Thank you for explaining this. I questioned what his actual credentials were, but never looked into them.
Thank you for this explanation!👏🏼
I agree 100% that no mental health clinician whose highest clinical degree is a masters degree should refer to themselves as “PhD” or “Dr” in a clinical context. He may do so in an academic context related to the field his PhD is in.
I believe Grande is in Delaware, not NJ. The clinical abilities of masters level clinicians ((LMHC, LCSW, etc) vary greatly based on state licensing requirements, length and type of work experience, and type of supervision (ie, in private practice versus as a salaried employee under a more experienced supervisor).
@@dwinthrop1015 my bad, i'll edit it i don't know why i remembered NJ. but the CE credit hours are the same, that was the only thing i brought up the state for. it's true that standards depend on the state and i wasn't going to go into all of that but ultimately it doesn't change much in his case.
thank you for commenting this. the whole time i was wondering if anyone had actually confirmed his "doctor" status, or if he was just lying or exaggerating (like dr phil lol).
i don’t think i've seen any of his videos luckily. i can't stand all this pop psychology bs. so many people take all of it at face value and don't even ask for sources (even when the videos are from people that never even went to medical school) and it's SO frustrating.
According to reddit every influencer and mom is a narcissist. I get so annoyed when I see it.
I had an emotionally abusive mother, the internet would say she in a narcissist. She isn't. My therapist at one point said she has behaviours that people with bpd have, but that's as far as he can go. He didn't diagnose her, he CANT diagnose her, and he only told me so I could understand the thought process behind those behaviours and to encourage her to go to therapy. Never a diagnosis.
Not every self-absorbed or selfish person is a narcissist.
Riiight that annoys me so much. It's almost like they're trying to excuse the behavior. Like no, sometimes people are just consciously evil to their own children, it's not a pathology or abnormality, it's actually extremely common for children to be abused within their family. Obviously that's not a good thing, but it definitely has to do with society as a whole and how we view children, not with just "some moms are crazy!!!!"
@@sosolis2123 it's not an excuse. They can choose to be better but don't want to. I was told by a clinical instructor that the only "cure" is to kill them because it's really who they enjoy being.
You wouldn't avoid thanking someone who enjoys being kind and helpful for helping you, so why would you pretend someone who enjoys being awful isn't responsible?
Those traits are on a spectrum, anyway. Narcissism is a good model for explaining certain behaviors. Whether or not it's an immutable personality type seems unimportant.
We have very poor language for describing selfish people who use power to dominate body and mind causing untold damage to their victims. I don't care what you call it, if I see someone lying, posturing, laying traps, playing extremely long games of manipulation (talking a year or more), acting incredibly selfish, hurting their kid, causing extreme mental harm, etc etc I need language to describe that
Narcissism has become a catch all term for a common phenomenon. Sure, sexism might lead to women being described that way when they're not acting badly, I concede that. No doubt that happens, in my mind. The point is we need language, we need a discussion around dominator culture.
It honestly seems rooted in patriarchy, to me, but I'm evolving my understanding a little bit everyday.
@@Pensnmusic yeah, it's more of an explanation than an excuse. Diagnosis doesn't matter as much as the actions do.
Heavy on the bpd overlaps!
I feel like most of the stereotypes we see when it comes to moms are just rooted in sexism and misogyny.
It’s starting to seem that way to me too. 🤔
This isn't a "stereotype about moms," it's addressing behavior that hurts these kind of moms' children. And I'd love to know what you're even talking about.
@@ravenID429 Then why aren't there a "the narcissistic father" videos? Why is "the narcissistic mother" a pejorative phrase that exists at all, not just "narcissistic parent"? There is no reason behind sexism
@@CanteLizzie I can't even understand what this is supposed to mean, and are you seriously claiming that there are NO narcissistic father videos? Also, MOST videos on narcissists are about NARCISSISTS IN GENERAL, not just narcissist mothers. A "pejorative phrase?" Maybe it's just...I don't know...a common phrase because narcissistic mothers do so much damage? Why are you so aggressively trying to defend narcissists?
hellooooooooo the karen thing that has taken off
Did anyone notice how Dr Grande was using “woke” as a prejorative in his other videos? He is clearly right wing 🙄
And you're clearly woke, considering you agree with this disgusting double standard garbage
@@ravenID429 The only thing that's disgusting here is your comment.
he got his entire career financed by a religious brainwashing institution,
and you got angry manlets in the comments so this tracks
@@Aster_Risk Nice one
@@ravenID429it looks like your comment got removed
I’ve gotten some bad vibes from Dr. Grande months ago but finally unsubbed once he jumped on the Harry & Meghan hate train.
I can’t imagine following a professional who’s publicly ridiculing someone who said that they benefit from going to therapy especially towards the horrific (often) racist anti-H&M stans.
He’s an a-class sexist
Well said
Same here
Same! I was starting to get skeptical when he covered a bunch of the Amber Heard Johnny Depp trial, and when I saw he did the same thing with Harry and Meghan....
Yeah that shit was.... Weird. I didn't even know there were people who felt that way about them other than their own family
Unsubbed him when he started spewing vitriol about "wokeness" in one of his pathetic videos, which is always a red flag.
Depends on what his definition of wokeness is. Wokeness is generally harmful but just being left doesn't make someone woke
@@thefridge7335 Wokeness is the opposite of harmful. Wokeness refers to being aware of or well-informed politically or culturally about, especially regarding issues surrounding marginalized communities; aware of social injustices.
@@-._.-KRiS-._.- If that turns you into someone who blames the regular cis straight neurotypical able bodied white men for perceived societal issues instead of actually fighting the system it's really bad actually
@@thefridge7335 very few lefties progressives dens etc seem to call themselves woke. And wokeness is an ever changing buzzword by the right. It might have once referred to some kinda hippie guy but he's into tech but it must be green tech. Ok. Now it is literally everything they don't like including not being racist.
@@thefridge7335 short: you are wrong. Being left makes you woke according to the people that love to throw that word around. And hell. Biden is left, apparently. Everything left of Hitler is left.
It’s seems that a lot of these ‘professionals’ get on social media and get so swept up with attention and clout that all professionalism goes out the window. They’re too busy trying to be an influencer.
True
A bit like those tiktoker electricians, not all ig, but there are a surprising bunch that do more tiktoking than uhh.. electritianing
Bingo! Even good and well-intentioned people get sucked in and become increasingly hungry for and dependent on that UA-cam revenue and sweet, sweet dopamine. It's really hard to totally resist the siren song of The Algorithm.
Meanwhile, people with no ethics and no scruples will immediately see the power and potential in social media and will be ready, willing, and able to game the hell out of it. So, the basically-good people who started out with good intentions will find themselves competing with those folks for clicks, views, comments, and dollarydoos.
Because nobody likes cognitive dissonance, basically-good people will increasingly try to justify and rationalize their increasingly-skeevy behavior as they strive to succeed on the platform.
I don’t think Dr. Grande is a clinical psychologist.
For sure he is not
His field is counseling, not psychology. His PhD is in counselor education, not clinical psychology.
He is not, ik this comment and video are a year old but for anyone else here a brief run down between Dr. Grande's qualifications and what qualifications a psychologist and psychiatrist have: Dr. Grande competed a doctorate (PhD) program in training mental health counseling as well as been a liscenced mental health counselor himself. He is a doctor, but not a medical doctor. A psychologist also completes a doctorate (PhD or PsyD, PsyD is NOT the same as med school.) Psychiatrists have completed medical school and have taken their boards to be a psychiatrist. Counselors are still a very important part of the medical community treating mental health conditions and it is well in his scope of practice to psychoanalyze people and teach people that. It's really more of a question of if he is doing this appropriately, professionally, and motives, and those are where I would say he lacks.
I remember going down the npd rabbithole on Reddit when I was 18/19 years old, and reading about narcissistic parents, and really just narcissists in general. At first, I thought a lot of the content was comforting and legitimate, but then I was starting to notice that people in these subreddits were labeling every flaw as being narcissistic behavior, and I started to question the people diagnosing everyone around them with npd. I saw absurd posts of people labeling every fictional mom as a narcissist all because they had a bad relationship with their child, celebrities (especially female celebrities) for writing songs about their exes or occasionally being unfriendly on camera (even when an interviewer or fan who's interacting with them was being hostile or rude towards the celebrity), and even strangers for having certain body language in public. It was confusing and weird. It was like a witch hunt, but for narcissists. It feel like a lot these people had a holier than thou mindset, many of them calling themselves "empaths" and claiming that literally every family member, friend, ex, or coworker was a narcissist. And if you dared to question anything they said and say, "I don't think this makes them a narcissist. I think other people are capable of doing this too." All these people would just call you a naive idiot or say, "You must be a narcissist yourself if you're defending this person." It's like, I didn't say that what they did was okay. I just said that ignoring your child doesn't automatically make you a narcissist.
The comment section of dr ramani videos are infuriating. Its like a cult. Using the term 'narc' as a dismissive term of anyone they find selfish or critical of them. They usually dont even consider that it could be something else like borderline, bipolar or (C)ptsd. I wonder how many relationships and families have been harmed or destroyed by this 'no contact the narc' culture. But the point isn't usually to maintain families its to 'empower individuals'. Creating a world where we can just get rid of whoever we want with dismissive terms while disguising the dismissive terms as scientific diagnosis.
You witnessed the sludge, man. It sucks. Glad you had the grey matter to figure yourself out of it. Pop psychology is just horoscopes masquerading as a science.
I used to watch grande back when he was less overtly snarky and his fanbase was encouraging him to do it more since they, we, loved it. I jumped ship when he had just an incomprehensibly bad take and it seems he's fully leaned into the sarcasm as a substitute for humor. Love to see that he's only gotten worse, great ☠️
I've seen a handful of his videos in the past, and they were basically fine--no egregious or serious inaccuracies, professional disclaimers where you'd expect them, and no completely-unsubstantiated claims. I also liked the sarcastic snark in spots. But, over time, I've disagreed with his analysis of some groups and current events, and have taken issue with the considerations and caveats he's sometimes overlooked with regards to some topics. (What people don't say can be just as important as what they do!) By-and-by, he increasingly came across as just too much of a political centrist for my taste, and started to cover more and more "hot goss" that I just didn't care about, so I lost interest in his content.
Was the bad take Scott Peterson?! That was one of the last straws for me
@@maddie4w , me personally, I resented the Church of Satan video. I've also heard through the grapevine that he has a pretty sussy and insulting video on Antifa.
Same. I miss those days! Definitely has leaned too hard into it and just seems mean-spirited these days.
@@dinosaysrawr every psychiatrist who reviews his content disagrees with you so rip
I think it's fair to say that bad moms exists and harm their children psychologically but also that being a good mother is an extremely selfless and difficult job. If I had to deal with what my mom went through as a young mom, I would probably kms or someone else. The fact that she was such a good parent with minimal freak outs still astounds me to this day. I think narcissistic people are narcissistic, regardless of their family role
And people who have the disorder arent the disorder. They choose whether to be harmful or bot
This. Society still doesn't want to talk about it and instead just keep demanding women do the same thing with more and more responsibility and less thanks than ever
It’s bigger than Dr. Grande, and honestly bigger than just women. Pop culture has also taken to calling anyone who has disappointed us in a relationship, a “narcissist.”
We’ve completely lost the ability to separate the objective toxicity of someone’s actions, from our feelings about those actions.
I'm pretty sure my mom has NPD, because my therapist kept dropping hints and mentioned "a clear personality disorder" when I'd vent about all of the ways she would make me miserable for no reason. She's been extremely emotionally abusive my whole life. I moved out 1.5 years ago and am now realizing how much of my family life was NOT normal. This video was a comfort for me at that time. But his videos where he constantly hates on Meghan Markle has me TIGHT. I had to stop watching them. Seeing how biased and how much of a hater he was to Markle really changed the way I saw him content. I consider his content to be strictly entertainment whereas I previously regarded his content as educational.
This, I stumbled on a lot of his things, and it did relate to my father NPD. My therapist too would drop a lot of hints, basically saying things like "he seems like selfishness might be interfearing with his life" type notes. Like cause all of these traits, people have, but it's not until it's interfearing with life is it considered a disorder. Though, it was the weird Megan Markle videos, and some of a similar vibe, that just ... were very off putting. Plus a few things I found in his videos were very generic. So I quickly switched over to Dr. Ramani for more in-depth information.
Have we considered that he's actually being racist instead of, or in addition to, being sexist?
The attacks on Megan were a product of the British tabloid press smearing her after she said the royal family treated her in a racist manner after discovering she had a black grandparent (I think it was a grandparent). The point is, her being attacked might largely be a product of her being seen as black.
My mom's therapist was the one who mentioned that she had a personality disorder.
@Pensnmusic I think he's more biased than he is racist. I have to give him credit, he doesn't hesitate to call out the police when ever they do what they do to African Americans. Most racist Americans are incapable of that. I think that he isn't aware of his own biases, but tries to be what he thinks is fair. Watching his Meg Markle videos is weird because it's such a 180 from the quality of all of his other videos. He acts like HE HONESTLY CANT SEE WHY MEG WAS MISTREATED?!? Like how dare she accuse the royal family of being racist... 🤯
Dr. Ramani is a much better UA-camr to watch and learn about these types of behaviors
dr. grande has a track record where you'll see many people able to point out the moment they unsubbed from him and why, because he quickly goes from silly and "relatable" to unprofessional and downright disrespectful.
i unsubbed when he took a difficult disorder i suffer from and mocked it, mocked people with it and regularly stated people are just faking it despite an entire field of research being centered around it. it HURTS to see that when there's already enough stigma that i can't even tell people, not even my own family, what i go through. he's crossed many lines but that was my last one.
I unsubbed during the time Trisha Paytas was claiming to have DID. From my understanding Trisha does have BPD and it's not unheard of for people with BPD to think they have DID due to BPD's dissociation and unstable sense of self. So it's likely that Trisha genuinely thought that they had DID. It also got really annoying that every criminal he looked at had to have a personality disorder and they couldn't just be a bad person (although that problem is bigger than just him).
Side note: if you don't mind sharing, what disorder is it that you're talking about?
Edit: I also think I should clarify I'm not defending Trisha, they've done a lot of shitty things.
@@Ollie_nel i'd agree except she made the "meet the alters" videos while naming them and then hilariously misportraying it. that wasn't a "oh i think i might have it" it was "i know damn well i'm acting this out for views" so i don't give her much wiggle room. if she just stated info i would have blown it off for the same reason.
you can likely guess the disorder given all of this, but his handling of DID was REALLY bad. i don't think most casual viewers who aren't well researched realize just how bad it was, but he cited a fake "model of DID" that was used to discredit the real field of research around dissociative disorders which went out of fashion like twenty years prior. the iatrogenic model literally just came from interpersonal drama around top researchers for the DSM and their social circles in the 80s, it's not backed by any research whatsoever, and yet he expressed his bias for it while not disclaiming that there's thousands of papers consistently getting the same results in favor of the dx being real and pretty reasonable for the human brain to do. i can't possibly break down every bullshit claim he made, but maybe there's a yt video or thread dedicated to it out there.
he's quite literally a counselor with a phd in philosophy or education or some shit like that, he's not a psychiatrist or even psychologist like the "doctor" title knowingly gives off. he can provide general therapy but he doesn't even really have the qualifications to do a full assessment on the disorders he talks about let alone can he diagnose or provide medications. he could not diagnose or medicate me and he would ethically be advised to send me up to someone qualified to handle me properly. AND he doesn't claim one specialty in his work so it's not even like he can say he's specialized in one area and can talk on *those" disorders, nor does he try to. someone like that shouldn't be a mainstream influence who contributes to me not being able to tell anyone around me the NAME of the disorder i have without immediate fiery stigma.
A bit of an understatement, but you are indeed correct.
Whew, this. I unsubbed after watching a video where he discussed a true crime case in which the perpetrator ended up marrying a trans woman in prison. He said that she was trans, said her proper name, and then went on to deadname and misgender her for the rest of the video.
I hate when people who otherwise act LGBTQ+ affirming decide that they can just not respect someone's identity because they disagree with their actions.
@@maggiedk do you remember what case? I used to love his true crime stuff and I never picked up on that.
You know that quote about how daughters and fathers laugh at the mother, and the daughter doesn’t realize that she is participating in a misogynistic cycle that she will one day be the victim of? Dr.Grande’s video is the father in this situation.
For real!
Thank you for speaking out on this! The "crazy" ex-gf, the "narcissistic" mother don't have a male counterpart, do they? After my best friend transitioned, people in our social circle started to pathologize her behavior a lot more than when she was still in the closet.
Well there is. Theyre just considered good. Because its the ex bf who tries to get her back no matter what.
Because its an overprotective father who stifles his children. That trope of the father threatening his daughter's boyfriend etc
@@elvingearmasterirma7241 that's called patriarchy. Dominating patriarchal culture where the man uses power to dominate the people around him, under his authority.
@@Pensnmusic Yep and thats why theyre considered good. Because of sexism.
Men doing overbearing controlling stuff? Good.
Women doing anything besides being demure and subservient? Bad.
Yo THIS. if you pathologize a woman, it's a tuesday, if you pathologize a man, you're a misandrist bitch and reaching. 💀
@elvingearmasterirma7241 I disagree. overbearing men are called creeps and stalkers all the time. Let's not be disingenuous bc men are called crazy all the time just as women.
I think it's this, and also NPD has become shorthand for "Evil Person Disorder". A person with NPD can be toxic, sure, but it's not something you can just use to say that someone is evil. It's... A bad look haha.
Yea the way people with a mental disorder are often just treated as monsters is pretty bad. Like, people with NPD can range from excessively kind to horribly cruel, it depends on a huge variety of factors.
@@Jane-oz7pp exactly. But the point is, the same is true of /people/. There's an obsession with taking mental illness to give some sort of reason for abusers being the way they are. To separate toxicity away from humanity, and thereby separate it from yourself.
It's just not a healthy belief for anyone. And disorders should be treated as a way for someone to be helped. Not as a warning label to stamp someone with.
A lack of empathy, pathological entitlement, and being interpersonally exploitive of others are traits of NPD. I'd say if you have that and don't want to change it, you are a bad person.
@camlam5269 based reply. There is a lot of coping in this comment section and it terrifies me. Where in an age accepting criminal behavior and it shows.
I was a subscriber of his years ago. Then I realized he hates women and likes Jordan Peterson. Mickey Atkins is pretty much the only therapist I regularly watch on this site, because this guy, Cinema Therapy and Kirk Honda have all proven it's about entertainment over being ethical or likable.
Mickey's great. I found Patrick Teahan helpful too.
Ah, yes! Mickey strikes me as being on-the-level, and I like her videos. I also enjoy Jess and Zena: Wholesome Degenerates and Cass Eris (who is a researcher, and not a clinician, FYI).
Uh oh, what did Cinema Therapy do that was unethical?
He likes Jordan Peterson? The only time I can remember seeing him talk about JP he was fairly critical of him. But maybe he had more than one video about him.
@@-._.-KRiS-._.- Seconding this, what did Cinema Therapy do?
I used to enjoy his videos but always felt a little icky about how he talked about women. I couldn’t tell if he was being misogynistic or if I was overreacting or overanalysing. But the more I watch him talking about women and especially sex workers/artists, I feel he really is misogynistic. He doesn’t openly say it but the language he uses is telling.
I love how sassy this video was. I've been alarmed at the growing amount of Narcissistic Personality Disorder content I've been seeing online. So much of this content frames people with this disorder as monstrous destructive people who are unworthy and/or incapable of love instead of as people struggling with a very difficult illness.
Because people with narcissistic personality disorder are monstrous destructive people who are unworthy and incapable of love. And trust me they are not struggling with it. Narcissistic parents will use up their last strength while they are on their Deathbed just to abuse their scapegoat child. Do you think all these people in these Karen videos exist in a bubble and don't have any children or family members?
It’s always by “mental health advocates” too. Like, there’s no such thing as a bad person disorder.
@@Chelaxim As if vilifying mental health problems is some sort of new thing no one has ever tried before. I'm all for setting healthy boundaries, but I personally prefer to know what I'm dealing with and try to be compassionate, not just caricature something I barely understand and project it onto strangers. Maybe it's a little too results-oriented for ya.
there's so much "signs youre dating a narcissist" "how to avoid a narcissist" videos too, like i saw my mom listening to some and it was along the lines of "a narcisist is gonna do this, and think this, and try to get you like this, and manipulate you like this, and they have no feelings and never really love you etc etc." It concerned me
i forget the name but it was from a channel run by a lady with an Indian accent, seemed like all her videos were like that (i'm not sure how good or bad the vids were, i kinda doubt how helpful they'd be tho if a lot of it makes it seems like NPD people are around every corner and are out to get you )
Maybe because most narcissists are monstrous destructive people who hurt everyone around them? Are you gonna defend serial killers next?
“If you’re one of those people, this video is not about your mother.” I regret to inform you as someone with a narcissistic mother that EVERYTHING is about my mother. She’s the center of the universe, after all!
If you have a PhD and you're highly active on UA-cam, you cannot be finding the time to do serious research, which raises the question of competency. What you need to get a PhD is playing the academic game and perseverance. None of this equates directly to talent.
Wow, that's a really good point. That didn't even cross my mind, but you're so right. It is pretty incongruous. It could definitely be a red flag that warrants potential skepticism about what they're saying.
The only time I can really see a psychologist/psychiatrist with a doctorate being a UA-camr and having time for all that and research is if they were retired and had transitioned to a full time content creator. And if that was the case said creator would no longer be liscenced to practice and therefore their authority would be in question
This is a pretty suspicious assumption on your part. " Dr. " Grande is a nasty fraud though
@@Rich_P_Anya OK
That is not true. There are wonderful psychiatrists on youtube.
But he does not have a PhD in psychiatry.
It is alarming how many people do not understand the chasm of relevant expertise within the domain of psychology on social media. The APA should seriously at some point step in
Yeah, he made a weird take about sex workers being prone to risk taking, materialism, and lacking emotional intelligence (paraphrasing) and I thought it was a very cold, dehumanizing take.
He did? That's awful 😖
They're called prostitutes not sex workers
@@snorristurluson5849 Okay, dear 🙂
I find it hard to believe mentally sane people can be sex workers. That's not hate
@@thefridge7335 I understand why'd you think that, I work with populations that are clinically insane and unfortunately people will take advantage of that vulnerability when it comes to sex work. But I know several sex workers that have worked in the helping and medical profession.
I read a post about how the term "Narcissistic Abuse" is a term splattered with armchair diagnoses. But there were others saying the effects & actions of "Narcissistic Abuse" are unique and detailing them as such helps people recover from their abuse. Nonetheless, I am a mentally ill person who has made mistakes that are unforgivable. I do not have any contact with certain people, and for the better. I was a dick. But if someone specified them as "Obsessive Compulsive Abuse" I would find that misleading. I know OCD & NPD are different, but it's what my mind went to. My terrible actions were TIED to my diagnosed OCD, but there would be no way for certain past people in my life to have known that.
Being a woman, a video like the one Dr. Grande put out but instead about how symptoms of my OCD led to abusive actions (manipulation for validation, obsessions that I could not explain & made the other person feel stupid for not understanding) could lack the nuance of such a discussion & fill into negative stereotypes about woman. People could make a video pointing "neediness" as wanting validation form a partner. When the nuance would be that my actions were terrible & I was not ready for a relationship in my untreated mindset, not all "needy" women would fit into this specific category.
This is how I conceptualize this whole thing, not sure if its a good comparison or even makes sense.
Thank you so much for speaking up about this, and omfg I am 100 percent over people mixing vanity with narcissism like oh my God, like just because someone looks in a mirror or the view finder doesn't mean instant narcissism like oh my God sometimes our eyes are just drawn to movement.
Sorry that was an impulsive comment, it just irks me so much lol. I have found a lot of amazing support in mother-daughter communities and I think a lot of these narcissistic mom's, including my own, have empty cups to give from, from childhood trauma, post partum depression, and a lot of survival tactics things form in misogyny, and yes, that includes looking at ones physical form in a mirror because women go through a lot of crap based on their looks.
What a lot of people don't know or don't want to acknowledge is that NPD comes from trauma and they were likely abused by someone with NPD. It's the cycle of abuse. This isn't me saying that you should just accept abuse from those with NPD, but just don't fully demonize them. (Not saying you are this just felt like the best comment to put this under).
This is the internet. If you are sad nobody cares, so you'll write you are depressed. This is indeed a competition. It didn't ruin your day or disturb you or put you off , no it traumatized you. Always. Your ex? Not just mean, definitely a psychopath. That's unfortunately how that goes. Everyone exxagerates everything. Okay not everyone, that was hyperbole.
@@Ollie_nel Most abusers don't have NPD, including the ones that pwNPD are abused by.
@@starchilde8698 you're right, but being abused by someone with NPD does make a person more likely to develop it
Another thing is how NPD is so awfully portrayed in videos online. My dad had NPD. It’s a environmental social adaptation that happens in childhood when there’s not much discipline or when kids are told they can do no wrong and are given everything they want. It’s natural then for kids to respond and adapt to that reinforcement. What’s sad is seeing some ppl with NPD not get any help due to them not feeling they need help. They’re not evil ffs they are just operating under what they know and have been told over an extended time so when something challenges that they don’t take it well. That’s just my own explanation overviewing my fathers experience. Others with NPD may have varying degrees of symptoms as well as environmental factors. Either way NPD should be looked at empathetically just as any other disorder. Demonizing people doesn’t get people anywhere. I see so many UA-camrs basing their whole channels on NPD abuse and shit and it sits with me as a bit odd. Sorry for the rant
It's odd that people want to save others from narcissistic abuse? It's DEMONIZING to tell the truth about what narcissists do to people?? God forbid we ever say something negative about someone even if they're hurting people, which is the narcissist mindset in a nutshell right there
Yeah because they’re abusive and cause trauma to others. They don’t need empathy from their abuse victim. The victims of their abuse deserve empathy and help. Narcissists can’t be helped as long as they don’t want help so what do you expect people to do?
@@katybee3891 NPD exists on a spectrum and the qualities you are describing are on the most severe end. It is awfully stereotyped; they are not always abusive.
@@katybee3891 most "narcissist abusers" do not have NPD, people just armchair diagnose them because they saw the term on tiktok. NPD *can* negatively affect one's relationships but it's *not* the "evil abuser disease". abusive people with NPD are abusive *because they chose to be abusive*, not because they have NPD.
and as the other person who replied to your comment mentioned, NPD exists on a spectrum. if someone has NPD, it's likely that they'll crave positive attention, and be hyper-aware of their own self-image and how they're received by other people. the phrase "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar" tends to ring true. unless they WANT to hurt people (not a trait of NPD), they're not going to purposefully be abusive.
i'm of the mindset that unless one is actively seeking to harm others, any toxic behaviour they may display is likely something they're either not aware of or don't currently have the tools to change. approaching them with good faith and empathy is going to be a thousand times more helpful than assuming that they're just inherently evil people for something they cannot control (and is often the product of an abusive environment, in the case of NPD and other personality disorders).
@@katybee3891 No one here said those with NPD need empathy from their victims. No one here said their victims don't deserve empathy and help. Keep in mind, though, that some perpetrators are victims of the same type of abuse. Some are simulataneously experiencing and perpetrating narcissistic abuse. The world is not black-and-white.
If you're not interested in understanding the causes of NPD, preventing it from developing in more people, and discussing potential ways to address it in our families and communities, that's fine. No one here is forcing you to participate, nor should they... but a lot of us think it's a conversation that needs to happen. Especially given how the term "narcissist" is increasingly being weaponized and misapplied by non-professionals.
I was subscribed to him back in the day. He has a dry wit about him, and is unreasonably sassy(which is funny for a very centrist dad), so I consumed it as entertaining and informative content.
I think it started crossing the line for me personally when he was beginning to churn out content psychoanalyzing popular youtubers(you know, whoever is trending because they're on the chopping block), not technically diagnosing them, but assigning scores on various mental health scales. I'll admit to watching a bit of it but like... That's weird right? The teenagers will be dragging Trisha Paytas for something stupid she said or did and Todd just slides in on his professional authority with his strange mental illness score cards. Idk if what he does crosses the line in terms of professionalism or not, but I'm not really cool with giving it legs through my engagement since I don't trust his character.
Same here.
Centrist? No. You are confused. I mean how did you fall for him in the first place?
Me too. I unsubbed when he started leaning more towards the gossip and began neglecting the educational content I originally followed him for. At the time I felt crazy for it as everyone else seemed to live it. Do this video and the comments confirm I'm not alone
THANK you for this..! I get side eyed and made to feel like I'm reaching whenever i try to explain the veiled sexism of these seemingly 'progressive' men
yeah no one likes hearing the truth lmao
Funmy how we aren't taken seriously when we are making claims that we are not being taken seriously.
🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤
Drink Water!
Much Love!!
Wow, gotta watch out for those left wing men. They’re far too manly 😂
I stopped watching Dr. Grande's videos after it seemed like he got on the "drama" channel train.
Same. Once the comments of his videos went from people actually discussing psychology to "Todd Grande just roasted Trisha Paytas." I knew I was done with the channel.
Dr Todd Grande is actually not a clinical Psychologist. I believe he is a highly skilled counselor but I think it is slightly misleading putting Dr at the beginning of his UA-cam name and not clarifying why this is.
How would you know he is skilled as a counsler? He comes off like a well spoken huckster at his best, which should inspire much more suspicion
@@Rich_P_Anya yeah if he were a counselling efficianado he wouldn't be playing shrink on youtube
@@Rich_P_Anya I don't believe he is well informed on everything that he talks about. That was my point. He is counsellor but a lot of people believe him to a psychologist. If you google him you can see his qualifications and his accreditation.
He has a Ph.D. In counsellor education and supervision, which makes him a doctor and he has every right to call himself one. But I agree he should make it more clear.
Also even if dr grande literally went through the dsmv/ icd 10 criteria for npd or any disorder, you still couldn’t diagnose someone with it. There’s a reason only professionals with degrees can diagnose
This right here. The guy is a quack and I'm concerned anyone was fooled by him at all
One point. Unconditional love is not a fairy tail. People sometimes conflated approval and love though; they aren't the same thing.
I thought he was a good dude, and then I saw he was diagnosing that woman married to royalty that everyone’s always talking about. Without talking to her a day in his life, and only seeing videos on YT. I was like Oop. Better hit don’t recommend now.
spot on as always, Robert. Thank you! As someone who grew up with a clinically diagnosed narcissist grandmother, I can tell you that there are soooo many more layers to whatever Grande is trying to neatly pre-package for people. Things are never that cut and dry.
There's a John Berger quote about the women gazing at themselves in the mirror paintings phenomenon. It's: "You painted a naked woman because you enjoyed looking at her, put a mirror in her hand and you called the painting 'Vanity,' thus morally condemning the woman whose nakedness you had depicted for you own pleasure."
I find some of Dr. Grande’s “jokes” so tasteless. I’m all for a little bit of humor in true crime cases to keep the mood from getting too dark, but his quips are often ill-timed or poorly executed. Basically, just straight-up inappropriate.
There’s a lot of misogyny rooted in psychology tbh, it’s a sad and interesting topic once you delve deeper into it, there’s history of hysteria and it’s modern counterpart, “histrionic disorder”(widely debunked) women’s mental health studies are often under researched especially when it comes to neurodivergence, they’re more likely to be diagnosed until later in life whereas men are diagnosed a lot earlier, and their behaviors and mental health is pathologized, which often includes being thrown the narcissist label for no good reason.
Yeah I always felt uncomfortable with people armchair diagnosing their parents with NPD... I was emotionally abused by my mom and could easily fall into the whole "my mother is a narcissist" line of thinking without looking further into it, when in reality, she's just a human being who made mistakes. She had a hard life and ended up punishing me for it. And besides that, I think its wrong to treat people with personality disorders as irredeemable monsters.
Your logic is extremely flawed, most people who are abused by their mothers don't armchair anything, they go looking for answers as to why their parents behave in abusive ways. Abuse isn't a mistake, it's a choice that is made each and every time they choose to abuse, people may want to put labels on it to better understand their abusers and usually if it's a parent get them help to help themselves as well. I do agree with the last thing you mentioned but the first step in being redeemed is acknowledging that there is a problem and getting to the root of it.
If you were emotionally abused by your mother, then that was wrong. And there was something wrong with her and what she understood on how to be a proper parent that caused her to inflict that kind of pain onto you. Most children who are victims of abuse and go to the internet to look into the symptoms of abuse they are experiencing from their parents, do it in to order to understand why that is happening to them and what is potentially going on with their parents that they could be causing them so much real harm. It's not to armchair diagnose for the love of it, bc what would a child, much less a child whos getting abused and has much bigger fish to fry, get out of that? My mother was incredibly emotionally and physically abusive as a child (through my adulthood). And it was through the internet I discovered that the problem may not be me and that im the problem that is causing her to abuse me, and may actually be her. I incorrectly assumed she was a narcissist and thats why she caused me so much pain. I later found out in life she was actually bipolar. I didn't seek out the internet to diagnose her bc I wanted to see her downfall. I did it to protect myself and help me navigate through the pain I was experiencing through understanding the reasons why she may potentially be so cruel to her own child. I do agree that having mental illness or personality disorders is not irredeemable and doesn't make someone eternally damned to be a monster (im borderline myself). But that only reigns true if they take accountability for their issues and work to get better to stop perpetuating the irredeemable and monstrous behavior.
She is a human who repeatedly chose to harm you. Its not a punishment. She was absive.
And a hard life is no excuse for her behaviour either. Nor really an explanation.
The explanation is that she chose to be that way.
And its unfair to you. And others in her life she hurt
@@cassidycasimirisme it's interesting to me because being a narcissist isn't the cause of anyone causing harm
Not any more than any other reason? If they had a hard life, or if they had some other disorder, we're still applying a level of external factors that explain their behavior. What label and what circumstances aren't changing the core issue people seem to be expressing.
They want to find an immutable trait or some environmental factor that justifies someone's abusive behavior not because that matters, but because...
*they want to find an excuse for their abusive behavior*
Isn't being gaslit by an abuser into believing they aren't abusing you, or they aren't responsible for your feelings and hurt (even if they caused them) a core aspect of abusive control? It's a symptom of being abused that people seek an excuse for their abuser, not really the fault of the concept of narcissism, I think. The gaslighting and abuse makes it very hard to pin an abuser with the responsibility for their own actions.
But, I could be totally wrong. I'm just a person spouting non expert opinions.
@@elvingearmasterirma7241 bingo! Who cares what caused their behavior when they could stop tomorrow and keep not doing that?
I unsubbed from Grande after his lukewarm defence of Jordan Peterson. The fact that he didn’t see any major problems with Petersons content other than “his advice is a bit shallow” made me second guess him a lot.
Yeah bc there are no major problems with Peterson's content. You just hate him for ideological reasons
Dude this guy is AWFUL!!!!!! I unsubbed with his Meghan markle video!!! He also presents himself as a psychiatrist (MD) and you have to dig for his REAL degree which is a phd, NOT an MD. Yes phds are doctors but he presents it in my opinion as an MD or at least heavily implies it/lets people assume it.
Also many clinical psychologists have a PhD and properly use it after their names in a clinical context. I feel that Grande should present himself as a masters level clinician in a clinical context and as a PhD in an academic context.
@@dwinthrop1015 yes i agree!! i am glad you understand what i am referring to here. he is mixing the concepts or at least letting people heavily assume things and not make it more clear. i respect the doctorates of people with phds. but he is allowing these concepts to blend together. it's like a textbook "appeal to authority" example
The videos about NPD by Dr. Ramani are really good, she doesn't focus on "mothers", just talks generally about NPD and what you can do if someone in your life has it and how to keep yourself safe. Those are really interesting videos.
The turning point for me was Dr. Grande’s coverage of Amber Heard, his misogyny was so apparent
Care to explain how? Was it because he exposed an abusive monster who happened to be a woman?
Everyone's misogyny became so apparent at that point.
@@Ollie_nel WHAT??
@@ravenID429 people acted like Amber Heard was lying about her abuse allegations regardless of what happened. However there is a lot of research on what's called "reactionary abuse" it's when the abused acts out onto their abuser because they have been pushed to their limit. Regardless of who started the abuse, I think the other was reactionary abuse and should still be taken seriously.
@@Ollie_nel ARE YOU SERIOUS??? She was lying, that's a FACT if you've seen ANY of the evidence, and that is just sick that you're saying someone who's been abused so badly that they try to defend themselves...IS AN ABUSER TOO? God forbid you're ever in a relationship. This is the most disgusting thing I've seen today, and on this video that's saying something.
God, thank you for this video. My disdain for this man is immense. I have a BA in psychology and am 1.5 years away from getting my Masters in social work with a concentration on mental health and trauma so I can be a child therapist and everything you're saying is absolutely right. His habit of victim blaming is what gets me the most. Having an accepting, non-judgmental environment as a counselor is crucial, and it's clear he can't be bothered to do so.
This!! Grande has always struck me as being mean, judgmental and a down right bully!
"I'm not qualified to make that distinction"-Robert Tolppi
The hilarious thing is Todd Grande isn't qualified to make a lot of his pronouncements; but Tolppi is transparent & honest about his limitations.
One major issue I find with his videos is he presents his often biased opinions as facts, almost diagnosing people he hasn't even met. For example on a video on Chris McCandless aka. Alexander Supertramp he said he was selfish, even though this was a guy who gave away all his money. I'm not here to defend Chris / Alex but this just shows how biased his video was, because he doesn't like that lifestyle, he would imply and outright says things that were obviously not true but he did so out of disdain for the person.
The problem with Chris is that he thought he could run out into the wild and survive off the land without any training or survival skills to speak of
He does have a disclaimer but it is clear what he is doing. He knows most of his audience takes his opinions as fact due to his credentials.
@@highcouncil1302 firstly that doesn't mean you can l ie about him. Secondly yes he under prepared and this was due to it going well previous times for him and he was overconfident. Although he did have a bit of understanding and some skills, it was much more that he was under prepared in equipment and knowledge of the local area.
@@Alex-cw3rz Chris mccandles was an idiot.
@@Chelaxim okay doesn't mean l ying about him because you think that is fine is it?
this video finally made me unsubscribe. from his video on the conway's daughter to his support of jordan peterson to his most recent video calling steven crowder "smart", it's all been red flags. ive finally had enough
lol wut??? Crowder prob still eats paste if his Dad/manager doesn't take it from his desk before shows lol Grande thinks Crowder is SMART??!?!! Although like, whatever, I don't care how dumb Crowder is, it's for the racism + Blackface skits + transphobia + omni-bigotry that I take issue with Crowder. With in turn says so much about Grande.
@@picahudsoniaunflocked5426 he also thinks jordan peterson is a genius with actually informative and important things to say. grande supports some weird shit man
there are oodles of real psychiatrist and psychiatry grads on youtube explaining everything wrong with dr grande too
@@lexxist hey dmbass there's nothing wrong with supporting Peterson
@@snorristurluson5849 if you support trans people, women, queer folks, and minorities generally then yeah. there is. if you know of his preaching of hate speech and shooting down pro-trans bills and still support him, you're probably just another peterson bootlicker. no need to be defending the poor, defenseless, insanely rich and powerful jordan peterson in these comments. you look stupid
This is so weird bc my sister was just speculating that our mother was a narcissist, lol
If you're asking the question, there's probably some tendencies
I agree. One of the issues with pop psychology on social media is that people can see generalizable traits and falsely attribute them to themselves, friends, family members or even celebrities. Context and bias can play a part in this, which is one of the reasons why a (hopefully) neutral third party will usually make diagnostic calls.
It'd be much less harmful for him to say something like "these are traits that I have associated with narcissistic behaviour, however the people exhibiting them are not necessarily narcissists.
Honestly, to me pop psychology on social media feels like horoscopes do. They're just the right amount of vaguely applicable to situations or feelings most people experience to generate as much engagement as possible, consequences be damned.
That comment about daughters and internalized misogyny, while might be true in some cases, I wouldnt jump to generalizing it as the majority. While I haven't looked into studies on narcissistic abuse specifically, there are studies into cycles of abusive behavior that continues intergenerationally and I can see the possible good in having these discussions. I also definitely see the potential for people to misinterpret information about these subjects. But then again I see the potential for people to identify harmful behaviors in their parents and those same behaviors in themselves. It's difficult to say whether surface level discussion of mental health issues are beneficial or not. I've gone back and forth on this myself and still continue to.
My mother is a full blown Narcissist. I found out after leaving a "man" who re-traumatised me badly. I'm not talking about a mean, unfit mother. I'm.talking about her pitting us siblings against each other, bullying me, body-shaming me, intentionally cutting my long hair and long fingernails at night, gaslighting me, isolating me to the point of even talking bad about me to my schoolmate's parents, punishing my grandma and siblings for talking or meeting up with me, not believing me the abuse my stepfather did to me and other girls and many, many other horrible things. I never knew and used the term in her. Until I had words for it, at 49! I'm healing from severe CPTSD and ACE.
Thank you for this!!!!!!!!! I’ve been skeptical of dr. Grande now for a while and wondered if others were too
Was suspicious of him after watching his video on Meghan Markle 💀
Everyone who's occasionally a jerk or emotionally unavailable for a short while is a narcissist. "I left my boyfriend because all he would talk about is his dad dying. He was so self-centered and didn't even care how my day went. He's so emotionally unavailable and totally a narcissist." 🙄
Edit: The term is thrown around so willy-nilly it's lost all meaning. It's legitimately turned into a term people tag on people they don't like, to serve whatever narrative they're pushing, to elicit sympathy, an excuse to break up, or to help get the new guy/girl. It genuinely makes me sick.
tbh he’s kind of a fraud cause he has a doctorate in counselling. he is not a psychologist or psychiatrist. and while you can learn a lot about disorders in counselling you learn a lot more about methods of treating them rather than diagnosis.
he's the equivalent of a daycare worker pretending to be a pediatric psychiatrist
the guy isn't 'kind of' a fraud, he's fraud through and through
their fathers will be deadbeats and or physically abusive and they won't critize them but if their mother makes some snide remarks suddenly she's a monster
This!!
"with his glasses and button-down shirt" I see you!
Dr. Grande definitely infuses as much sarcasm and snark into his videos as he does evidence-based information and best practices. I think he ultimately wants to be entertaining without devoting too much effort beyond his previous training and expertise into the science. I think we have to realize even educated people or people with reputable, unimpeachable professional histories can get caught up in the creator sphere of chasing the hot and trendy topics for views.
i cannot agree enough. His serious delivery makes him seem more "trustworthy" than he deserves
No. This is preposterous. Why defend this guy?
Yeah see the issue is that "snark" + trend/clout-chasing are not healthy professional traits for someone who claims to want to help people on a mental health journey. If he wants to clown on people, he shouldn't be doing it as a therapist/psych practitioner. Also Tolppi pretty much eviscerated any claims Grande could make of being interested in best practices for his profession, plus again Tolppi showed how truly questionable Grande's "evidence-based information" actually tends to be. Have you bothered to check his citations? I have. They're pretty weak already, before even factoring wtf "snark" fits into his practice. You know he's not a doctor in a medical sense, right?
@@toericabaker , aye! It's an aesthetic that Ph.Ds are taught to embody, and it can be used to conceal a metric ton of bullshit.
It's actually ironic and telling how some of the mental health professionals on UA-cam with pink hair and crazy room decor actually manage to adhere to ethical and professional standards more faithfully than the peeps in pressed shirts or nice power suits.
HE HAS NO RELEVANT EXPERTISE.
He cites uninformed personality theory constructs (not his domain) to make PSYCHIATRIC claims (not the domain of counsellors NOR personality theorists)
I personally think children do need as unconditional love. As possible
And basic human respect. And oh boy a lot of people dont wanna give kids that.
@@elvingearmasterirma7241 yea fr
Thanks for making this video as someone who almost fell into this kind of thinking, I appreciate others being informed and evaluating more what it truly is to be a narcissist, because the word keeps being thrown around, at one point it will completely loose all meaning.
Okay something always rubbed me the wrong way about him! So glad you’re bringing this up
I was thinking that same thing! I was never subbed but he gave we the weirdest vibes. I watched on of his videos, though I can't remember which one, where it was absolutely diabolical and sussy and I SCOURED the comments for anyone saying anything about it but nope, nuthin
@@CanteLizzie yeah his comment sections are very simp-heavy
@@l0remipsum oh my god yeah! Like everyone in the comment section sounds like they’re in a cult
Thank you for speaking up for women ❤
Yes!! I was briefly subscribed to Dr Grande a few years ago, and unsubscribed after seeing the way he talks about women and even seems to obsess over some of them. Not only that, but he talks about couples or relationships or conflicts, but doesn’t do any research into the people.
I despise trisha paytas but his video on her was completely off the cuff misogyny
Someone already mentioned the Trisha Paytas video but his take on Meghan Markle was unhinged too.
Meghan Markle was who I was thinking of. Tons of people have absolute trash takes on her and Trisha. Idk about his coverage on Amber heard, but other channels went pretty nuts about her too, without any examination of themselves or misogyny they were spewing. It’s like, if they dislike someone, all ethics go out the window
I was just thinking about this the other day in more broad terms, the tiktoks and UA-cam videos from professionals and laypeople alike teaching you about mental and physical conditions that they MIGHT have authority to talk about. It's probably helped people to get actual diagnoses for themselves and that's good. But how many people are diagnosing others, fueling paranoia about their own health, or enabling negative outcomes in their life through bad advice and misinformation. It makes me wonder if it's truly a net positive.
He just goes with whatever is popular on tik tok. Like attacking Meghan markle and amber heard. I’m not surprised he’s a plagiarist.
Considering Meghan Markle and Amber Heard are just about the two most evil well-known women right now, I'd say that's more than fair. And how is exposing their horrible actions "attacking" them?
@@ravenID429 Oh, no surprise you're racist too!
@@ravenID429 There are legitimate avenues of criticism and then there's doing basically the equivalent of what that drugged-out psychiatrist Amber's defense team trotted out did.
Since you're so hung up on the trial you'd remember Dr. Spiegal and how he violated the goldwater rule and how that was a big deal. See the disconnect in how you're approaching this topic now?
@@tugger That is a RIDICULOUS leap in logic. A witness making inappropriate diagnostic claims vs. someone discussing how badly Meghan Markle and Amber Heard have hurt people? See the disconnect there?
The use of "the" rather than "a" kinda makes it sound more like it's talking of a literary trope rather than a possible description of a person
For the longest time I tought mine was narcissistic. Turns out it was autism
Why is everyone doing Todd Grande take down videos recently? I'm very much here for it since I stopped watching him over a year ago for his unprofessionalism and lack of research into what he discusses but just this week I've seen 4 creators I regularly watch talk about him despite never having even mentioned him before.
just gonna put it here that someone doesn't have to have npd to be a narcissist or narcissistic as the term and word predates the existence of npd in the DSM-V
you sound like me when i talk about narcs. most abusive people have so much in common with narcissist that its almost pointless to treat them like they are unique or indeed, narcissist. focus on what they do not a title etc
Cool let's just do semantics instead of debating in good faith
@@Rich_P_Anya There's nothing to debate. @Tsrenis points out that personality theory is a relic, a depreciated piece of garbage that psychology proper would be better off without.
But we keep teaching it and psychoanalytic tradition as part of the *history* component and you still have people like Jordan Peterson (with Jung's bogus archetypes) and Todd Grande (with the bogus 5 factors) exploiting that people who aren't educated and practicing psychiatry don't know how to make those distinctions properly.
Trait theory and personality theory are as scientifically valid as the personality tests you did on OK cupid
I feel like I've been waiting for this my whole life!
I've never particularly liked TV Doctors (or their online equivalent) but having never watched him properly, on the surface Dr. Grande seemed relatively unproblematic, but the more I've seen the more this concern you bring up here, has arisen for me also. He recently used his professional background as validity to belittle legitimate concerns brought against Jordan Peterson by the licensing board. Referring to his hour-long segment on Joe Rogan's podcast where he cited debunked source after debunked source, using terminology not recognized by any medical institution due to no clinical evidence, as _a few remarks on gender issues._ It's extremely disingenuous framing, and one example of many within his video, all done with the clear intent of framing the licensing board as politically motivated and Peterson as the victim of free speech prosecution (a narrative Peterson very much loves to indulge in). Instead of a bizarre video rant where Peterson struggles to comprehend basic gender-reaffirming commonplace treatments, we have, according to Grande, a controversial tweet on gender about a trans actor. I should add that these commonplace treatments are not even exclusively for trans people, which you'd think Peterson would know having had one to correct his receding hairline.
Even if one were to give Peterson the benefit of the doubt and say his inability to grasp clinical research or understand commonplace treatments were earnestly coming from a place of ignorance, that'd still depict him as someone too incompetent to see patients under a medical licence. Not that I feel to anybody paying attention that there is any ambiguity on Petereon's malicious intent, but either way, it wouldn't matter to the issues brought against him. If any trained professional look at these facts and thinks Peterson's ability to use his licence to treat a trans patient wouldn't be compromised, then I'd also question the credibility and licence of that specific professional also. That's not even getting into a range of other views and expressions that go against clinical medical evidence that Peterson has parroted to his large, susceptible audience, but we'd be here all day if I were to broach the entire list.
Thank you for this! Well said.
From where I sit, at least, mental health professionals who are willing to criticize Peterson with no ifs, ands, or buts are in disappointingly short supply, and there are a lot of ready-made impressive-sounding talking points designed to softpedal or minimize their criticisms and even, make them seem like they're the ones who are being unprofessional, uncouth, or biased!
So glad SOMEONE is talking about this hack. Used to love his videos but over the years it became apparent how little empathy and compassion he has for mentally I’ll people…. The people he treats. Became absolutely disgusted by his commentary, and was surprised more people didn’t feel the same
Just because someone has npd doesn't make them an abuser
This is correct. NPD abusers make bad decisions like refusing treatment and gaslighting to protect themselves from criticism.
it is, however, very likely they will engage with harming/abusive behaviors as a result of said narcissism
X to doubt
@@sl0th259 source?
@@RoboBlue2 don't call them npd abusers just call them abusers
I prefer Dr. Honda from Psychology in Seattle, Grande has really fallen down the rewiredsoul arc and I’ve started enjoying his content less and less
Honda isn't any better. After covering the Amber Heard Johnny Depp case and taking a BetterHelp sponsorship I have no patience for him.
@@Aster_Risk I don’t think any youtuber/psychs are particularly ideal, but I would personally rather listen to Honda than Grande if you’re giving me a choice between two evils. I never watched Amber Heard/Johnny content for personal reasons so I didn’t even realize he had commented on it, disappointing
@@Aster_Risk About the Amber Heard stuff, he only listened to the part with the forensic psych and used this a jumping off point to speak about mental illness. he didn't try to diagnose anyone in it. But about the Better Help stuff, it rubs me the wrong way too.
I used to subscribe to Grande but have since unfollowoed. Two reasons; he would often crack jokes about people's problems and he started slipping in right wing ideology. He just gave me Dr. Phil vibes.
Doesn’t sit well with me how we suddenly jump to “women are just exhibiting internalized misogyny when they call their mother narcissistic.” Seems a bit dismissive, especially considering that a lot of abuse daughters face from their mothers is rooted in their MOTHER’S internalized misogyny and not the other way around. Usually enjoy these videos but this one’s just not it for me.
Yeah, i had to unsub after this video, parts of it feels like a man talking down to me about my lived experiences as a woman who grew up with an incredibly physically, emotionally and mentally abusive mother. Classic male feminist going so far to support the women they subconsciously idealize (women who are mothers) that they will happily step on abuse victims with little care or consideration
@@DioJeans so sorry to hear you went through that :^( I think that’s why it’s important to hear this perspective from someone who has experienced it firsthand.
Another huge problem I had with this video is his criticism of the list itself. A lot of the things on the list that he pointed out as being too broad aren’t actually too broad to be applied to every mother. (Like the mother expecting credit for raising the daughter even though she emotionally or physically abused her, or changing the subject to be about her… a lot of narcissistic mothers will make EVERYTHING about themselves). The doctor explained everything in-depth in the video. It’s very weird to discredit what a person is saying when you only take half of what they said into consideration.
Idk the whole video left a bad taste in my mouth.
@@LotusChaByuRas22 i like just a few minutes ago finished writing up a small rant with my lefty friends on discord, i'll just copypaste it here because it explains pretty well my thoughts on this video
"was doing some thinking just now and it finally occurred to me exactly what things about that Robert Tolppi video bother me so much. it's not just the fact that Robert explains in detail that he doesn't have any credentials or experience in the field that he's commenting on and repeats this throughout without the idea even once flashing through his head that he should maybe take the time to educate himself or collaborate with an expert; it's not just that he makes blanket statements that imply that mothers are incapable of being abusive, citing the existence of overt/covert misogyny as the sole explanation; it's not just that he recites the extremely common and ignorant arguments society weaponizes against victims without a hint of self awareness; it's not just that even if someone is sexist/misogynist, that doesn't inherently dismantle the propensity for their having been abused, it's that Robert Tolppi has made this kind of mistake before. He was called out for making missteps when entering spaces he is ignorant to, and apparently that pledge to "do better" isn't going so well.
And I understand that the point of the video is to address the issues in pop psychology, but oh my god does it piss me off so much that he fumbled this shit sooooo baaaad. If he had taken the time to actually dive into the issues and work with people in the field and maybe actually inform himself on the nuances of trauma before making a clickbait video and title, this video could've gone from a 10 minute lipservice to his patreon subscribers and people who are as ignorant as he is to actually being something of meaning, like over an hour of nuanced discussion could easily cover this topic and that would just be a surface level exploration. Instead what we're left with is the callous ramblings of someone incredibly oblivious and ignorant to the potential harm he can cause with videos like this."
You didn't mention the course book source/reference (Cramer, 2015) that Grande used throughout the video. Is there a reason for this, Robert?
You only pointed out the journal articles throughout your video, which the number as well as the articles themselves are definitely insufficient for what Grande was trying to present in his video. I watched Grande's original video, and he does explicitly state warnings on how much of the information he's sharing is from readings and experiential knowledge (which I don't put much fluff to). I've also read that course book source before, and it does state the signs that are listed in Grande's video description and elaborated in the video by Grande. However, the course book does a clearly better job than Grande. Also, I notice that you did not even draw the context behind each of these signs in Grande's video where he elaborates on each sign. This is a massive oversight from your part, Robert, particularly because it takes away a lot of merit from your criticism in this video. It would've been better to point out that Grande doesn't use primary sources to elaborate his points (since a course book is not considered a primary source).
Though, this is a pretty bad video by your standards, Robert, (because you've made a lot of other videos that are far more thorough and thoughtful than this, including references too when needed) since this point is only one of the several things you failed to point out or even do research before criticising Grande (which there are a lot more stronger and valid points of criticism aside from these without coming off as a personal attack toward Grande). For example, what about Grande's analysis of specific individuals, which develops indirect awareness in audiences to blacklist certain traits uncritically? What about an exploration of his credentials? You also failed to mention Pop Psychology at large, which is a much more significant issue that Grande along with a lot of other professionals (whether relevant to their fields or not) fall into. Future video, perhaps?
At the same time, Robert, mentioning that you're studying psychology doesn't help either; this video came off as a year 1 psychology university student work because of its focus on just one video from Grande surface-wise. It doesn't address the problems with Grande addressing topics pop-wise at large by posting these videos (causing stereotyping, psychology misinformation, mislabelling, etc.) while not having credentials to match that and while using the title of "Dr.". You did not draw references for your points either to appropriately criticise Grande. Where are your references? You failed to mention them in your description and your video throughout. Think about these things when making content about Psychology. Otherwise, you're empowering Grande indirectly.
Thank you for this video. As a mentally ill person and past psych student, pop psychology and armchair diagnosis makes my blood boil. They misuse terms like narcissist, psychopath, gaslighting, psychotic, ect. and just further stigmatise already stigmatised populations. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) doesn't mean you're an abuser or a bad person. It means you have a mental disorder that develops from severe childhood trauma. "Narcissistic abuse" doesn't exist. It's just abuse and not some special kind of thing, but everyone wants a cool psych term to use about their experiences to validate themselves, but trust me you don't need to label your mom or ex as a narcissist for their abuse to be real. I get terms can be helpful, but labeling someone a narcissist and then saying "all narcissists are bad people and can never change their behaviour" is honestly dangerous rhetoric.
I had a friend who was professionally diagnosed with NPD (among many other mental disorders) and because of the stigma, he didn't want to acknowledge his disorder. He thought he must be misdiagnosed and he couldn't have NPD because "those are bad abusers and can't be fixed, I'm not like that". I don't know if he ever accepted his diagnosis again, but it was rough because I was his best friend for years and saw the clear pain he was in due to his NPD. If there wasn't such a stigma against certain mental disorders, I think more people would get help
Oh my God yes I had to unsubscribe from this dude and I couldn't articulate why he rubbed me the wrong way so this video makes me feel vindicated lol
Same. I can't put my finger on it exactly but it's like sometimes I think he's just straight up insulting the person he's talking about instead of talking about their situation and character traits. Like it's clear when the video is about someone he's not too fond of lol. He's more like a drama channel than anything imo.
@@amber7591 yeah def. It's crazy cause he loves to talk about professionalism but always finds the time to be shady. Especially in cases with sensitive topics like racism and sexism.
sameee
@@amber7591 Pretty weird right? Its like the collective unconscious became aware and we're connected here.. realizing he's yet another douchebag.
i've seen him talk like he is professional and then in the same breath he'll insult and/or make a joke at the person he's talking about expense
didn't he make some rude comments on euginia cooney? i cant remember
and he should know that diagnosing from afar is not ethical or professional but it seems like he does that
I wouldn't be surprised if he had an anti-social personality disorder of his own tbh
*sigh* look. Im tired of people thinking you need to have antisocial personality disorder to be callous and cold to others.
You do not.
Humans have a great capacity for cruelty and you do not need a disorder to be that way. You just need to feel vindicated or right and then go from there.
20 seconds in and i'm already subscribed.
I stopped watching him when he started making fun of the people he "analizes"
This is a little "off-topic" but nevertheless:
I feel like a lot of pop psychology stuff on social media focusing on fast-content (e.g. reels, tiktoks) are "horoscopic diagnosis" - Those creators seem to use the Barnum effect on psychological diagnosis such that the viewers will most likely see themselves in it. I see this a lot in the realm of ADHD and Autism as well as on the side of mental health issues, which often takes out the significance and more or less romanticises the diagnosis. On the other hand this can also be just a false view that I have because the accessibility to the internet is so common these days that people use their platforms to raise awareness and it just feels like getting flooded by such content because of the nature of social media algorithms.
when i saw that he was making youtube drama/tea adjacent videos, i dipped out
the clarification at the beginning was very much appreciated lol
And completely misleading
@@ravenID429 how?
@@Ollie_nel Because he went on to completely belittle the things narcissistic parents do to their kids.
@@ravenID429 he didnt at all though wtf
@@sl0th259 The list? Practically making fun of the notion of those things being bad?
"Posted 5 minutes ago" yes ofc i am going to watch it right away
Thanks for the disclaimer. I will never know what is truly wrong with my mother as she blames everyone but herself (when she's not throwing herself a pity party) and refuses to seek help. Her behaviour seems to fit with vulnerable narcissistic personality disorder so that's the context I have for her behaviour.
Dr Todd has long since moved to nastiness with his sarcasm at the expense of people who experienced terrible pain. I unsubscribed from him years ago after he pivoted to feed his success.
There's a distinction between conditional love and "be a carbon copy of me or else you're worthless and dead to me" that's worth mentioning here.
I love your channel so much, I feel like you tackle everything important in such a digestible and considerate manner. Keep it up you’re doing great
Dr. Grande aside (a huge topic), the DSM criteria of any disorder are going to be a vastly incomplete characterization of the disorder in real life. Diagnoses are as much for insurance coverage of treatment as actual discrete, non-overlapping, unarguable phenomena. So both the literature and clinical experience WILL reflect the greater actual complexity, and the real-world manifestations, of disorders than the DSM criteria and explanations suggest.
I would love more videos about dr. Grande. He gives me such sketchy vibes.
finally somebody talking about this guy
thank you
good eye on the content farm thing. I watch his videos but more for entertainment than information. He is obviously not giving professional opinions with his silly puns. He does have it out against Meghan Markle so you're not wrong about the sexism here either.
Because...she's a serious narcissist? Why do you assume people just "have it out" for a narcissist because she's a woman? Women can't be bad people?
@@ravenID429 how is she a narcissist?
@@Ollie_nel Pushing Harry around and controlling him, stopping him from talking, pushing in front of him, trying to make herself the victim in every scenario, treating people like garbage on camera, etc, etc.
@@Ollie_nel don’t bother, Meghan haters aka (former) Prince Harry stans (because they want him and she’s the evil witch that’s in the way) love to toss that word around with nothing to back up as they get their garbage claims from the British press
@@ravenID429 and that makes her a narcissist? You do know that NPD is a very real and serious mental health disorder, right?
I have a family member who is very narcissistic, cruel and thoughtless - her daughter went no contact with her a few years ago and she "has no idea why, she's very strange". Every moment spent with her causes me emotional distress. If you have a narcissistic mother (or other relationship) it will be very clear
I don't call my evil relatives anything but evil.
Grande is no good and I've felt that way for years. There is a lot wrong with his channel and it's "content". Can't believe people defend the creep.
Thanks for mentioning love is always conditional - the idea that it should ever be unconditional can be very unhelpful
Your content is amazing!!!