@@peterwarner553 that's true, but solving the problem involves understanding it. You can't blame the women who hurt these men for their red-Pilling, but knowing that the experience shaped the red-pill helps work towards better results.
I was in the red pill space for a while. I'm glad I got out of that echo chamber. It did nothing to help me whatsoever. I needed to be by myself and not listening to a random divorced man on the internet.
Beautiful. Hating on women is the path to a life of suffering. Love is so much better as cliche as that sounds. Most people are decent, just kind of dumb. That's why essentializing groups with negative narratives is compelling but ultimately harmful. Glad you gained enlightenment. It speaks well to your future. Good man
Basically, people who are afraid and insecure become scared of vulnerability and end up taking their pain out on others, not realizing they're still hurt and also hurting themselves
Indeed but a lot of ppl who were vulnerable (without bursting but simply sharing their feeling, fear etc) were belittled and mocked... Hence they generalize so they don't get hurt ://. And they need to work on themselves for thing other did to them...
@ true. Nice to know you have the power to heal yourself and stop relying on others, or expecting others to give you things you're able to give yourself. Definitely not easy because a lot of us had trash examples and normalized BS but maybe it's as easy as realizing we deserve better treatment and it starts with how we treat ourselves, so we no longer rely on how others treat us to feel secure and to trust ourselves. And to care for ourselves, to love ourselves
Yep, Dr. Honda from the Psychology In Seattle podcast has said much of the same things on this issue, and that childhood experiences like a mother or any maternal figure that didn't attune to your needs and/or wasn't emotionally available can manifest itself in a similar pattern during dating and relationships, and the person gets re-traumatized thanks to their negative experiences as a child.
If only I could work with a therapist at Dr K's level, then again, these videos in themselves are quite helpful and discuss how these issues relate to me during my therapy sessions.
Stop pretending therapy is the solution to anything. You, like everyone else, already have all the answer inside you, but you are to much of a coward to take a real hard and honest look inside your self. You already know what you are doing wrong.
I dipped into the red pill sphere years ago and left when it all stopped sounding empowering and more importantly all started to sound the same. Color me surprised when I start hearing those same concepts come up but from men close to me. I think that most guys realize it’s a reductive world view, and that only becomes more clear with time as the walls get lower.
Most of my traumatic experiences came from men, including my father who used to beat me. Girls and women loved me, mostly. They still do. I’m here to learn life skills like interacting with people of power including, managers,etc. Yet, I’ve come a long way.
Same here. Crime statistics also bear this out. At any rate, I hope you and all other victims of violence are in a better place now and finding healing. Virtual hugs if you want them.
did you also haveproblems when anyone who wants to order you areound and demands anything from you? i used to automatically resent people like theat and try to defy them in whichever ways i could without getting hurt too much
This, on top of how modern dating works makes both men and women most vulnerable to getting hurt either by another person or romance scams. It makes the equation why gender wars, incels/femcels, extreme feminism and red pill movement become more prominent nowadays. It's hard to even get mad of these fellow people when you know that these people became bitter and turn into a villain as a way to protect themselves. They just don't want to be hurt again.
Feminism has been "more prominent" since the internet started. Its complaints and issues are largely the same ones since the 70s and haven't been shaped by internet dating the way reactionary men's movements have.
@@MoiraiScarlet people getting so bitter they decide to hate, is not a society problem, it is that individual’s problem. We cannt control stimuli but we can alter our reaction to it. It is normal to feel bitter after rejection- taking rejection to mean the world is against you is mental illness
Nah I can and we should be mad about it. Red pill movements and other extremist movements in the same family are geared towards hurting women. And that makes all the difference. If they were just about protecting yourself I'd be willing to agree, but these groups are actively feeding into hurting women and yeah I absolutely can be mad at them.
@@Itshiptobesquare It has become a society problem given that social media tend to gather these kind of people to be exploited in pretense of providing a safe space. We cannot control what they think or do, but our awareness can help by not feeding the hate posts and protecting our family and friends who are vulnerable.
Hit the nail on the head with this one. I've always been cautious of the red pill, guys. I have my problems with women, but it's not all women. Thank God I chose to work on myself and not take the red pill.
This is not specific to red pill. Any kind of information offered online or in person should be filtered through critical thinking rather than accepting at face value. Even holy texts--as it may be controversial to some--because the holy text may be true, but the person you're hearing it from may have misinterpreted it. Which you wouldn't realize with a lack of critical thinking.
I think you have red pill and manosphere confused. Prescription vs descriptions. Red pill is just knowledge and facts. Aka descriptors. The manosphere has many reactions to these facts and offer prescriptions. So unless you just hate facts. You dont hate red pill.
@@SolarBangI think he used the term to get views. He could have used regular words, like facts or truths. Plus I noticed his bullhorns on his shirt on the video of wanting less and was wondering where he got it from. And I’m a female btw
It’s a weird thing because while you may do it to make yourself feel better, you never actually feel better. All you do is feel worse as soon as you try to improve yourself because now you’re dealing with an even worse problem and you look like an even worse person to have to fix.
I feel like people are afraid of rejection in many ways... When someone is not into you, you might feel like they're out of your league so it's tempting to dismiss them as delusional people but at the same time this plays into your pessimistic view of yourself, as it's just a poor coping mechanism. A friend of mine told me about these top model girls who will only hang out with millionaires on their yachts in the nearby harbour. Are they out of my league? Well, maybe, but I'm probably not the right person for them nor are they the right people for me anyway.
I don’t understand people who get hurt and angry when getting rejected. Like seriously if someone doesn’t like you why should you care about their opinion of you? Why do you seek validation from someone who clearly doesn’t like you that’s just stupid. If a girl rejects me, cool bye and I’m moving to the next person if you don’t want me than I don’t want you back. I only seek validation from the people i love.
I dont understand why models are considered desirable btw. Same as rich Guys. What does any of that have to do with relationships. Thats just objectification . Im not interested in dating objects. And If someone is and get rejected, it might be cause the other person feels that objectification.
I have had multiple traumatic experiences when it came to women. But what led me to the red pill is shaping my character. It shows you both ends of the coin, the good side about women and the bad side of women. And once you are aware of it, you have to learn to balance it out and look at things neutrally. Because prior to redpill, I for sure never thought women could do bad things, because that's how I have been raised. So I stopped them putting on a pedestal and just started treating them for what they are. If they are nice people, I am a nice guy. But If they are bad, I maintain my distance.
TRP Today became a toxic echo chamber like HG describes. But that happened after it was quarantined (censored heavily) by reddit. Before that, it had a user base with high critical thinking. It was not toxic and the users with toxic attitide were swiftly corrected by other users intellect. None of those intellectual users wanted to bend the knee to reddit and stay in a censored sub, so they left.
People have forgotten that the whole "redpill" thing originated from the matrix, and all it means is seeing the truth. The more pure definition is essentially not conforming to societal norms, which most people can agree with no matter their political leanings. But people either don't know or don't care about that, they'd much rather go with the definition made up and given to it by some bald angry dude yelling at a camera, because that's a hell of a lot more media sexy.
@@omnissiah7247 i think the angry yellibg side ALSO thinks that they are on to the truth. And thats the scary thing. I think when youre in truth, living by it and trying to grow awarness of it, you just call it truth.
What a terribly disgusting way to talk about other people. "Treating them for what they are", how are you not seeing the damage you endured by beliefs formed when you were young have shaped your view? You're not "red-pilled", you are upholding and seeking to confirm beliefs to compensate for pain. Start questioning yourself: why did you put women on a pedestal before this? Why were you raised to believe certain things? You have to see that you are trying to protect yourself from a certain kind of pain (rejection, abandoment, etc.) and categorizing an entire group of people negatively is only ever confirming your pain. But it's never going to heal you and you're going to keep walking around hurt until you face what you're afraid to face.
Yeh spot on, I got traumatized by an ex gf. When I began to work through my trauma Ive lost intrest in the Red pill mindest. When you realize its because of trauma, you really begin to Empathize. Empathize Whoever this applies to I really hope you can find a way to heal from you pain, you deserve love and respect ❤
Some of these red pill guys have been hurt in childhood by their mothers. It was either neglect, abusive, overbearing mother, helicopter mom, or other forms of dysfunction that they use as an excuse excuse to treat good women badly
The irony with the red pill is that they say or imply that if you live the way they do you will be happy. But I can’t name a single one who smiles with joy.
That's false though. Red pill never preaches that it will make you happier. If anything, it actively warns you to not dig too deep into it because it could affect your mental health. The core of red pill is seeing the world for what it is and accepting it, instead of living in blissful ignorance. The thing is "accepting it" is a massive ordeal and not everyone will have the mental fortitude to do so. That's why there are people hating on others -> the reason why red pill warns to not dig too deep if not ready. They saw the truth but weren't strong enough to accept it and now vent by hating on women. That's got nothing to do with red pill ideology.
I think the reason why I was never attracted to red pill was because I don't think I've had a really traumatic episode with women. Most of my most traumatic episodes come from men. Women have been much easier to deal with. It kind of makes sense now. Thanks dr k.
@RisingChaos yeah that sounds painful. I don't tell people this but for u i will. I lost my virginity at 28. I can always get better. But I understand how lonely and painful what you are going through can be. You'll can make it better but I don't know how and it seems you don't either but that does not mean you won't find a way. Stay strong brother. You'll be fine. I'm sure of it. Don't let bitterness take over.
Good insights as always, Dr. K. I see so much of this content now in my recommended videos - why? People must be clicking on it. The inflammatory nature of these kinds of videos draws clicks and views. That's why the content creators keep churning it out. Profiting off people's bad experiences and traumas with the opposite sex, people who want their anger validated and to get some kind of comeuppance.
Ooooooohhhh, negging is gaslighting. Harming their self-image so that they'll think they don't deserve better So they won't realize that they deserve someone decent (not manipulative & abusive) & will settle for you 😫
@@luminous6969 please can you explain it more? First time I see that expression in that context... and I really dont want to go into deep rabbit hole for something that may or may not affect me 😅
@@evangordon711 Yeah that's cos I understand it better than the people that talk about it that don't actually understand it and are only going off of what they've heard about it.
It also appeals greatly to narcissists and emotionally immature people. That's most of the one's I've met. The friend zone is also not trauma. How do we know they're not just confusing persecution/victimization with not getting what they feel entitled to or being held accountable?
The term friend zone implies that they aren't interested in women as human beings to begin with. The fact that she has autonomy in choosing how close she allows someone to her is criticized and undermined. A person who actually likes another as a human being would not stop their kindness just because they are no longer allowed to have sex with the other's body. It's really gross and makes me really worried, with how much the idea is normalized. The whole point is, if he starts acting weird for being put in the "friendzone" then he wasn't ever actually interested in us as a human to begin with. It was only ever for access to the body, pretending to be kind or pretending to get along, putting nice tokens in to get sex out.
And they think they can pitch a hissy fit about "the friend zone" and then that it is unfair for us to be turned off. No thought whatsoever that we feel that we were misled to believe that they cared about us as a human with a personality and a soul, not just as a body to have sex with. 🙄😮💨
The problem with most people today is that everyone is so caught up with their own truths. (Tunnel vision) They can't see that there are multiple ways, personalities, viewpoints that are as real to others as their viewpoint is to them. (Panorama view) There are people who succeed and there are people who fail. Study them! Just because the algorithm is feeding their truths they believe that that is the final and only truth instead of looking out in reality and observing other poeple. Instead of being curious about the diversity they get caught up in their ego.
I've been through it back in late high school. From Sandman to Entrepreneurs in Cars and finishing on Alexander Grace (Also some other MFs in between). It has been nothing but hell for me! You get hurt by a dumb girl who is not considered of others, you feel a certain way and then comes some dude who says shit that resonates with how you feel and boom! They sell you on some made up shit. The Manosphere is a very dangerous slippery slope. I owe it to Dr.K for getting TF outta there!
Yes i watched Alexander Grace for years and i am Out of or for 2 years and the redpill stuff is so wrong. There are so many honest and nice women Out there. My wife for example is a Woman where i can Show my vulnerabilities and can cry etc And she loves me more and more
My shortfalls in my character, are a result of my unwillingness to change them. Its far too late, i opted out of personal relationships a long time ago. I accept my genetics do not move move forward. I accept that they shouldn't. Theres something wrong with me. Most certainly. Ill do the hard thing, and stay alone, not because of trust issues or hate for them, but because of love for them, and an honest and true desire to deny the opportunity to be hurt by me in the first place. I do this because its what i deserve. Im not a good person
Revenge would destroy your soul even more. It's a poison you think you give others, but in reality, you're drinking yourself. It's not a solution, because you're ending up worse than at the beginning. Forgiveness and charity is what truly sets a person free. Not carrying the weight of other's transgressions on one's own shoulders.
@@janeyrevanescence12 Ultimately, what we do with power, is up to us. Do we use that position to help others or to kick them down. Same with anything else (eg money or knowledge/education) do we use that for vice or for virtue.
Or being wronged. I think most people look for justice but it doesn't exist outside transcendent ideals. Ladies do what they want, your heart will get trampled. That's life in this current culture.
Red pill is vulgarization of evolutionary psychology and cultural dynamics.It's not hating or criticising without comprehend like some people do. Trauma can occur and has possibility to heal.Some people have, some people had.Anecdotes cannot be basis for generalization. Healthy and quality relationship requires high capacity and minority has it. There are lots of people who have good relationships after learning red pill and there are much more people than that who couldn't apply red pill to their lives. If it's really hard to accept that one of the realities of being human not everyone is equal, then welcome the planet...
It is born out of trauma. I'm climbing out of this stupid headspace now. I used to be a hopeless romantic. I just got hurt so much that I turned fully bitter. But I realize it's MY responsibility to fix it. I'm only offering this honest perspective in hopes it can help someone. These "big" dudes like Tate are just hurt, little boys, crying out for help. Don't fall for it. It's so much worse for you than just facing your fears and doing real work.
I wish he wouldn't use the word "traumatic" for things like: Having been friendzoned or rejected once. Those are maybe hurtful experiences but if a woman doesn't want to be your girlfriend while you assume you're going to get her to love you if you act as her platonic friend, that's not a woman "traumatising" you. It's also not a power dynamic because a man being friends with a woman is voluntary. Of course there are incidents where women act in a traumatising way, but that is through mental/physical/sexual violence or abuse.
Agree. That was a rlly weird example and framing. You need to be able to move on if friendzoned, not start hating all women. I could see if like she...cheated or stole or smthn, but srsly???
I do make a point of calling out my women friends on being mean to guys online trying to date. One is bad for ghosting and arguing and complaining they're not worth being nice to. I think I finally got through to her that if she's not interested, not to force feelings like others have been telling her to do. Seems like she's not going out of her way to be mean anymore.
I've always found most of the "red pill" stuff pretty ridiculous and repellent, but as a guy who was married to a very self centered and toxic woman PLUS was raised by one as well, the red pill spaces are the only ones I see where these types of women and their awful behaviors can be shown and discussed without being immediately shouted down or dismissed. It's unfortunate that much of the advice given there is also bad.
The problem with talking about abusive women is when guys generalize. I used to frequent a forum that was suddenly swarmed by incels and they pissed off everybody with their outrageous claimes about "women". Women this and women that. If they were confronted about it, they claimed that women trash men too, when in fact women on the forum talked about their specific husbands or boyfriends if there was a problem and not all men.
@linnnea8171 While I'm not doubting your specific experience, this strikes me as an incredible amount of generalizing as well. The idea that women's complaints are somehow typically different or more detailed sounds like anything from willful ignorance to perhaps just unintentional blindness. Perhaps it was true in the space you were in, but certainly not overall. In general, it's also hard to see past statements that use incel as a non-ironic pejorative to categorize guys discussing problems they have had with women.
He bought a washing machine? Yeah, no, that was a passive-aggressive way of giving her the middle finger. He knew exactly what he was doing. Who wants to bet her late Christmas gift to him will be Divorce Papers? New Year, New Her! 😂
Can we please talk about what the traumatic situations were? Please. We dont know what trauma the incels carry as a society. If we knew, maybe we can progress.
Or emotional manipulation, unrealistic expectations about the relationship (from either side, which proved hurtful and bad), dumping trauma on your partner in your approach/behaviours, this kind of thing
I listen to this man, and I shake my head. If you abuse people, you are a damaged person who damages people that you come in contact with daily. Am I wrong or do we need to change?
I don't think red pill is about manipulation or hate. I think it's about what the metaphor suggests, Neo takes the red pill to see the truth even though it's uncomfortable. The blue pill is the disney, happily ever after, true love prevails story we grew up to believe. The red pill is saying humans have a dark side in the mating game. Don't go into relationships thinking the person you like is an angel. If you're living in a blue pill world you're going to be manipulated and hurt by that dark side.
I think this is a problem on both sides but, becomes a bigger issue for men because they will experience more rejection. Overall, it's easier to hate one side when you generalize them as the person that hurt until you become just like that person. I think a reason why people on both sides might continue to have bad experiences has to do with difference in treat each side gets. Men are often told if they are rejected that they need to do better. While women are told something more along the lines that they need to choose better. So men go after people without judging their character and women look for people similar to exes because they haven't addressed internal issues. Both sides end with the conclusion that it's the other's fault because they've been addressing the issue on their end. The key would be to tell this to both sides because you need to hold value in yourself as well as who you choose to be with.
Side point: you know you Hindus and Buddhists talk about just forgetting your desires and being ok with the present moment but it's kind of messed up because, in the perspective of our organisms, we only have one life to live. And more or less you have to take on faith that you can reincarnate. For example, I would be totally good just sitting in the grass for the rest of my life, not practicing self-development, not chasing women, not doing anything more than living in the present, -if- I knew I could reincarnate. If there were some kind of proof then I feel like I could live such a better life (by being more present and not caring about possibilities, analysing the past etc). So can you do a video on remembering your past lives? If you can come to that awareness, it would be easier to remain in the flow state. It would be easy, then, to come to the idea that the ego and this one life we have really isn't that crucial that it's worth stressing out over.
She made feel weak and gave me a serious insecurity about my height. 5’8 and i constantly feeling like I am not good enough. The voice in my head that used to cheer me on, tell me how strong I am. It does nothing but belittle (cause I am small) me now. Worst part is, I can do nothing about it.
Where do you get the idea from that you can't do anything about it? That is not true, even if it feels like that for now. Take time to grief, that's important. But I promise you, you will find a path out!
@barbariumTV There is always someone to play it down, while having no experience with it and complete ignorance. Getting judged, mocked, made fun off and or getting rejected, for something like height, something that you can't change and should not matter at all, is the only form of discrimination that is accepted in this society and deemed as normal. Even if height never bothered you, society and women will make it clear for you, how shallow they really are.
@@Intension123 yh, it has always been tough for me to deal with it. people say just don't let it bother you but literally everywhere in society, everyone perhaps the taller guy. Heck, if you ain't 6 feet, you are seen as weaker. I hope I can learn to cope better. but it will always be cope.
my brother is 5'7" and he's constantly fretting about his height because he does not meet the "standard" ideal male height. I find height insecurities totally unnecessary and people belittling men for their height, just like men will find tall women unattractive, super stupid. I am Latina, as is my family, and where we come from, men are typically shorter compared to other men. So even where you come from and your entire ancestry plays a role into how tall or short you are. Both men and woman have gotten very shallow about the most pointless shit. Like it's one thing to not like a person's facial features, but height is the most pointless one by far.
If you achieve that, you don't need a relationship anymore. Some people still would like to get something for once in their lives, and that's why these pickup artistries etc exist.
The hard core rp stuff is nonsense but some of the more entry level stuff makes sense. It lines up with lived experiences. Ik not all women are bad but too many share the same traits as my cheating and abusive ex wife. I don't care to wade through the bullshit. Too many women allow the shitty ones to speak for all women. Plus it's funny how it's only an issue when women get generalized but calling all men predatory is a ok. Maybe get rid of all the double standards and treat people equally and so many people won't fall down that rabbit hole. Men say they are done with dating and they must have mental problems. Women say the same and are celebrated for it. Btw yeah I have trauma. Didn't ask for the shit. But if all women want to constantly compare me to whatever man has hurt them then they are no better then my piece of shit ex wife. I dealt with enough of that from her.
Hmm... I have been traumatized before, but i never cared about "Power." I also didn't feel weak, or at least don't think i did. I was "Just" feeling Hurt, betrayed and Heartbroken. Never cared about Power or influence though. The only Thing i cared about in that context, was to Not give anyone Power over me ever again. ...or more exactly; Allowing anyone to treat my self-esteem poorly.
I think you can have other traumatic experiences besides women. They are not only cause for traumatic experiences. Perhaps any traumatic experience with regard to power can push someone in to the red pill.
What is so funny about people talking “redpill bad” is that they don’t realise that in those spaces people acknowledge that yeah, you suck, here’s how to pull yourself out of the shitty situation.
Off topic request: can you please make a video about the dangers of Roblox for kids and how to deal with it as a parent? My sisters (both 10) are obsessed with it, especially Brookhaven. I'm super concerned but can't really estimate how dangerous it really is and have no clue how to support them. I'd be incredibly grateful for your advice!
@@vanessa_bekindandpowerful With all due respect. But Roblox is not the root of the problem in any form, the game by itself don't create any danger to a child. The thing is, as far as the internet goes, everywhere can be dangerous for a child, even their spaces. There's only way of fixing the issue in my opinion, stay alert to what your kids consume and do on the internet. Guide and teach them to avoid certain things and be on your watch. The game is temporary, there will be other games, there will be other places and experiences to be had. If you just remove Roblox as if Roblox was the Christ to be crucified, it won't fix or deal with anything. Maybe even worse the scene
Excuses. Being traumatised gives me more empathy and makes me a nicer person, not more of an arsehole. You choose who you choose to be. Excuses are for the weak.
Good for you. Everyone isn't built like you nor does everyone go through shii the same way you do. Some people build walls around themselves due to trauma. Others find various (usually harmful) ways to cope
It is interesting that you link red-pilling to negging and trauma. My perspective is that everyone needs to be red-pilled at least two or three times in their life. We, as humans, have a tendency to think that if we believe something is logically true, everyone should. The concept of realizing that their are other valid perspectives is the root of red-pilling. Though, as usual, those who are radical tend to claim ownership of an idea, just as woke has been claimed by the radicals.
This opinion makes me remember the other video where some guy said that feminism is born when a woman had bad experiences with a man. I feel the mirror of that other opinion here.
Analogy wise that is how in person classes is born when a person faces negative experiences in a school campus such as bullying, harassment, gossiping, etc.
💯 it’s projection. They project their bad experience onto EVERY woman instead of going to therapy to work through the hurt that that woman caused. Everyone gets hurt in dating at some point. For some it occurs in school others in adulthood, but you can’t project that hurt onto everyone. You have to heal from it in therapy. There is a lesson to be learned from every hurtful experience. It helps us grow and mature and see red flags faster.
Also when we literally see the successful guys around us negging and being toxic... Sorta makes us look to copy them to get access to the same glorious treatment they're receiving from nice, sweet, attractive women. Ever considered that?
This makes me insane. Men going nuts over a girl friendzoning them, or breaking up with them, and ending up in the red pill community. Eventually, there is a growing hate towards women. As a woman, I was s**ually assaulted, I am a victim of IPV, men cheated on me multiple times etc. If I don't walk around and hate men, belittle them, harm them, you have no right to speak about women being bad. If I am still open to relationships, constantly try to reconnect with someone, I am sorry but you have no right to fall into the red pill space. This just infuriates me.
I’ve never been hurt by a women, never got traumatised by a women. But I don’t know i just feel like i have no energy to be in a relationship with one…I don’t hate women, its just that at this current part of my life I don’t feel like interacting with women. Maybe this will change when i reach 30 and wanna settle down and get married. But now i just focus on MMA training and studying for school.
@@mr.mo_alsh hey, that's FINE. Whatever is going on in your life - maybe nothing, you just don't feel ready yet or sth - don't feel pressured just cause you're single. Maybe you'll want a relationship later, or maybe not, but it's YOUR life. A (romantic) relationship is supposed to make the individuals in it happy, not get the approval of others. If it wouldn't make you happy at the moment, that's your business, and you should never feel like there's sth wrong with you.
Relationships take work and that means energy being used. Emotionally, physically, sexually (unless the couple is asexual), etc. It's good when people realize that they're not in a good place to put that energy in and just don't date. Others know it and date anyways, making everyone involved miserable.
I agree. You just seem self aware. Maybe it comes and maybe not. You do you. People who tell you you have to be in a relationship just talk about themselves.
the big misconception about the red pill is at first it sounds bitter and negative but in reality it gives the unfiltered cold hard truth so the issue is when dudes get trapped in the rage after listening to the truth but if you get passed that phase you understand relationship dynamics at its core
Women can't be simplified as easily as a few in the manosphere world like to think. Power is of course not everything and women are not all the same. I hate to see healthy gamer make such superficial statements on subjects. He doesn't even know the definition of a neg. He knows the bastardized misrepresentation of the concept.
@@Bf26fge and that's facts brother but context is key so instead of just blindly accepting talking points, one gotta look at the real life situation first and see if it actually fits. like u said, women aren't one-siye-fits-all. and same goes men too. bottom line: always keep leveling up.
The issue is truth can be mixed with lies. So they can tell the truth on one part of the issue but then mislead you on another. The Redpill spaces however are the only ones catering to an ignored audience.
"Friendzoning" is not 'taking advantage of kindness'. It is just normal life. The sad issue that too many males automatically 'fuckzone' most females & simultaneously misread & devalue simple friendliness.
Agreed, but the same could also be said about modern feminists. On paper feminism is good, but on practice it has become catharsis just to feel good about themselves.
Also personally, us guys see it work really well for the successful men. And we'll copy what they do because (obviously) we want the same thing they're getting access to. I spent years stuck on the 'niceguy' problem. I'd see girls absolutely infatuated with horrible, mean, cruel guys and treating these guys like kings... Meanwhile I'd be stuck watching having always been taught they'd treat me like that if I'm such a nice guy. Add to that being made fun of by girls for being "too nice" with that being cited as the reason why I'll be alone and it makes you doubt everything you were ever taught.
I cant suggest strongly enough, to take a look at what your role is with your mum. You'll understand why you get hurt by women in your adult relationships and can reprogram those default views & reactions that constitute your role
Dude… red pill doesn’t mean you behave this way. IF you are for people… maybe stop judging so hard “red” people… The “blue” people hurt, and literally damaged my life enough. I don’t want the blue people… Why???? Why choose to put people into such groups and apply some kind of “credit as a human” to one side or the other… ONLY idiots believe one side is not using politics for themselves… like … seriously… what gains do YOU get from this post? Not the best … go back to the drawing board… I still appreciate and respect many posts… please get back on track . I don’t have to agree… also, some quotes maybe came in an attachment and don’t require a personal opinion???
I'm also not buying the negging coming from trauma. Every girl I knew in high school was scared to directly reject someone's advances out of fear he'd turn hostile. Negging has always been a thing.
I've been traumatized by at least 20 women so far in my life. I am 31 and I've been rejected so far by 50 women but for some reason I never turned into Black, White, Red, Blue Purple Pill nor into incel. Maybe, I always had the hope that not all women are the same or not all women run behind big salaries, dicks, cars, mansions and a great lifestyle. I hope it's that way and not the other way. 😂😂😂
It doesn't make sense, but part of the difficulty of this is precisely because you lack the intelligence to even recognize why it doesn't make sense. It's really hard to admit that some men are simply not educated or intelligent enough to recognize their own weaknesses and fall prey to these online influencers.
When they talk about "all women," they are actually NOT referring to "all women," like your 80 year old gran for instance. What they mean is women between 18-30 that are 8-10 in looks that they never had a chance with in the first place.
If we were treating each other like equals guys wouldn't be doing everything for women who were just friend zoning them And women wouldn't be able to build a culture around doing this kind of thing to men. It's toxic on both sides and very few people actually get over that bit of it. If you are a man and you find yourself in a position where you are doing everything you can for a woman. Well, that's not how you should be courting her. That's just allowing yourself to be used. If you are a woman who finds yourself having a lot of male friends that are doing things like taking care of your finances or working on your car for free. And you're not trying to date them and they arnt your family. Well, you're just using them, they're not your friends.
Is there a version of the red pill for women, or is it more a masculine stuff because it's hard for a man to be seen as weak, and not so much for a woman?
This happens to everyone though. Before I met my husband I got cheated on by both previous longtime boyfriends. Of course it hurt, but emotionally sound people MOVE ON from that. It’s no reason for endless self-pity and to malign an entire gender across the comment sections of all of social media. These people are weak minded, and to be avoided at all costs.
Life and people can be cruel. That's no excuse for being cruel ourselves.
@@peterwarner553 that's true, but solving the problem involves understanding it. You can't blame the women who hurt these men for their red-Pilling, but knowing that the experience shaped the red-pill helps work towards better results.
Nahhh it is
I was in the red pill space for a while. I'm glad I got out of that echo chamber. It did nothing to help me whatsoever. I needed to be by myself and not listening to a random divorced man on the internet.
Were u listening to goatis?
Beautiful. Hating on women is the path to a life of suffering. Love is so much better as cliche as that sounds. Most people are decent, just kind of dumb. That's why essentializing groups with negative narratives is compelling but ultimately harmful. Glad you gained enlightenment. It speaks well to your future. Good man
It offers some good insight but taking everything as face value in that community will crush your spirit
It's a turn off for women. We realize you have been hurt, but so have we. You have to heal yourself first. So do we.
Proud of you!
Basically, people who are afraid and insecure become scared of vulnerability and end up taking their pain out on others, not realizing they're still hurt and also hurting themselves
Indeed but a lot of ppl who were vulnerable (without bursting but simply sharing their feeling, fear etc) were belittled and mocked... Hence they generalize so they don't get hurt ://.
And they need to work on themselves for thing other did to them...
@ true. Nice to know you have the power to heal yourself and stop relying on others, or expecting others to give you things you're able to give yourself. Definitely not easy because a lot of us had trash examples and normalized BS but maybe it's as easy as realizing we deserve better treatment and it starts with how we treat ourselves, so we no longer rely on how others treat us to feel secure and to trust ourselves. And to care for ourselves, to love ourselves
Yep, Dr. Honda from the Psychology In Seattle podcast has said much of the same things on this issue, and that childhood experiences like a mother or any maternal figure that didn't attune to your needs and/or wasn't emotionally available can manifest itself in a similar pattern during dating and relationships, and the person gets re-traumatized thanks to their negative experiences as a child.
I really want him back on another podcast with Dr. K. The two of them together was such a good watch
@CLew9 Honestly, the two of them should start a whole podcast together. Name it 'Psychology Bros' or 'Psychology Dudes' or something
do you remember by chance which episode of Dr. Honda's podcast this was being talked about?
If only I could work with a therapist at Dr K's level, then again, these videos in themselves are quite helpful and discuss how these issues relate to me during my therapy sessions.
I know what you mean, though. He is good.
Stop pretending therapy is the solution to anything. You, like everyone else, already have all the answer inside you, but you are to much of a coward to take a real hard and honest look inside your self. You already know what you are doing wrong.
I dipped into the red pill sphere years ago and left when it all stopped sounding empowering and more importantly all started to sound the same. Color me surprised when I start hearing those same concepts come up but from men close to me. I think that most guys realize it’s a reductive world view, and that only becomes more clear with time as the walls get lower.
Most of my traumatic experiences came from men, including my father who used to beat me. Girls and women loved me, mostly. They still do. I’m here to learn life skills like interacting with people of power including, managers,etc. Yet, I’ve come a long way.
Good for you. Lots of us are loved by nobody.
Your experience alone means nothing. Just look at the stats on lesbian household violence.
Same here. Crime statistics also bear this out. At any rate, I hope you and all other victims of violence are in a better place now and finding healing. Virtual hugs if you want them.
did you also haveproblems when anyone who wants to order you areound and demands anything from you? i used to automatically resent people like theat and try to defy them in whichever ways i could without getting hurt too much
I’m sorry there’s people taking their bitterness out on you in the comments. I appreciate your post.
This, on top of how modern dating works makes both men and women most vulnerable to getting hurt either by another person or romance scams. It makes the equation why gender wars, incels/femcels, extreme feminism and red pill movement become more prominent nowadays.
It's hard to even get mad of these fellow people when you know that these people became bitter and turn into a villain as a way to protect themselves. They just don't want to be hurt again.
Feminism has been "more prominent" since the internet started. Its complaints and issues are largely the same ones since the 70s and haven't been shaped by internet dating the way reactionary men's movements have.
@@MoiraiScarlet people getting so bitter they decide to hate, is not a society problem, it is that individual’s problem. We cannt control stimuli but we can alter our reaction to it. It is normal to feel bitter after rejection- taking rejection to mean the world is against you is mental illness
Nah I can and we should be mad about it. Red pill movements and other extremist movements in the same family are geared towards hurting women. And that makes all the difference. If they were just about protecting yourself I'd be willing to agree, but these groups are actively feeding into hurting women and yeah I absolutely can be mad at them.
@@Itshiptobesquareit becomes a society problem once enough builds up
@@Itshiptobesquare It has become a society problem given that social media tend to gather these kind of people to be exploited in pretense of providing a safe space.
We cannot control what they think or do, but our awareness can help by not feeding the hate posts and protecting our family and friends who are vulnerable.
Hit the nail on the head with this one. I've always been cautious of the red pill, guys. I have my problems with women, but it's not all women. Thank God I chose to work on myself and not take the red pill.
This is not specific to red pill. Any kind of information offered online or in person should be filtered through critical thinking rather than accepting at face value.
Even holy texts--as it may be controversial to some--because the holy text may be true, but the person you're hearing it from may have misinterpreted it. Which you wouldn't realize with a lack of critical thinking.
I think you have red pill and manosphere confused. Prescription vs descriptions. Red pill is just knowledge and facts. Aka descriptors. The manosphere has many reactions to these facts and offer prescriptions. So unless you just hate facts. You dont hate red pill.
@@SolarBangI think he used the term to get views. He could have used regular words, like facts or truths.
Plus I noticed his bullhorns on his shirt on the video of wanting less and was wondering where he got it from.
And I’m a female btw
It’s a weird thing because while you may do it to make yourself feel better, you never actually feel better. All you do is feel worse as soon as you try to improve yourself because now you’re dealing with an even worse problem and you look like an even worse person to have to fix.
There's a quote I keep in my mind from Oscar Wilde that I feel is related:
"Everything is about sex except for sex. Sex is about power."
That's either some freudian shit, or an abusive marketing strategy
That does not sound like Wilde at all, where is this from?
Janelle Monae.
I feel like people are afraid of rejection in many ways... When someone is not into you, you might feel like they're out of your league so it's tempting to dismiss them as delusional people but at the same time this plays into your pessimistic view of yourself, as it's just a poor coping mechanism. A friend of mine told me about these top model girls who will only hang out with millionaires on their yachts in the nearby harbour. Are they out of my league? Well, maybe, but I'm probably not the right person for them nor are they the right people for me anyway.
I don’t understand people who get hurt and angry when getting rejected. Like seriously if someone doesn’t like you why should you care about their opinion of you? Why do you seek validation from someone who clearly doesn’t like you that’s just stupid. If a girl rejects me, cool bye and I’m moving to the next person if you don’t want me than I don’t want you back. I only seek validation from the people i love.
@@mr.mo_alsh yeah man just don’t care when you get rejected! it’s that easy!
I dont understand why models are considered desirable btw. Same as rich Guys. What does any of that have to do with relationships.
Thats just objectification . Im not interested in dating objects. And If someone is and get rejected, it might be cause the other person feels that objectification.
@@mr.mo_alshA lot of times people grow up and are taught to care about people’s opinions especially when it comes to the ones they care about.
@mr.mo_alsh I think emotions aren't made out of rational thought.
Why else would people fear anything? In the end nothing matters.
I have had multiple traumatic experiences when it came to women. But what led me to the red pill is shaping my character. It shows you both ends of the coin, the good side about women and the bad side of women. And once you are aware of it, you have to learn to balance it out and look at things neutrally. Because prior to redpill, I for sure never thought women could do bad things, because that's how I have been raised. So I stopped them putting on a pedestal and just started treating them for what they are. If they are nice people, I am a nice guy. But If they are bad, I maintain my distance.
TRP Today became a toxic echo chamber like HG describes. But that happened after it was quarantined (censored heavily) by reddit.
Before that, it had a user base with high critical thinking. It was not toxic and the users with toxic attitide were swiftly corrected by other users intellect.
None of those intellectual users wanted to bend the knee to reddit and stay in a censored sub, so they left.
People have forgotten that the whole "redpill" thing originated from the matrix, and all it means is seeing the truth. The more pure definition is essentially not conforming to societal norms, which most people can agree with no matter their political leanings. But people either don't know or don't care about that, they'd much rather go with the definition made up and given to it by some bald angry dude yelling at a camera, because that's a hell of a lot more media sexy.
@@omnissiah7247 i think the angry yellibg side ALSO thinks that they are on to the truth. And thats the scary thing.
I think when youre in truth, living by it and trying to grow awarness of it, you just call it truth.
@@omnissiah7247 the people that took red pill as the name prolly didnt understand the point of the matrix😅
What a terribly disgusting way to talk about other people. "Treating them for what they are", how are you not seeing the damage you endured by beliefs formed when you were young have shaped your view? You're not "red-pilled", you are upholding and seeking to confirm beliefs to compensate for pain. Start questioning yourself: why did you put women on a pedestal before this? Why were you raised to believe certain things? You have to see that you are trying to protect yourself from a certain kind of pain (rejection, abandoment, etc.) and categorizing an entire group of people negatively is only ever confirming your pain. But it's never going to heal you and you're going to keep walking around hurt until you face what you're afraid to face.
Yeh spot on, I got traumatized by an ex gf. When I began to work through my trauma Ive lost intrest in the Red pill mindest.
When you realize its because of trauma, you really begin to Empathize. Empathize
Whoever this applies to I really hope you can find a way to heal from you pain, you deserve love and respect ❤
Do enlighten us what the Red Pill mindset is, because I literally do not think you have a clue.
Some of these red pill guys have been hurt in childhood by their mothers. It was either neglect, abusive, overbearing mother, helicopter mom, or other forms of dysfunction that they use as an excuse excuse to treat good women badly
The irony with the red pill is that they say or imply that if you live the way they do you will be happy. But I can’t name a single one who smiles with joy.
Depressed people are very good realists too
@ Whether that’s true or not, they aren’t happy themselves
@@mattynotfatty I'd rather be unhappy by seeing the uncomfortable truth than live a lie.
That's false though. Red pill never preaches that it will make you happier. If anything, it actively warns you to not dig too deep into it because it could affect your mental health.
The core of red pill is seeing the world for what it is and accepting it, instead of living in blissful ignorance.
The thing is "accepting it" is a massive ordeal and not everyone will have the mental fortitude to do so.
That's why there are people hating on others -> the reason why red pill warns to not dig too deep if not ready. They saw the truth but weren't strong enough to accept it and now vent by hating on women. That's got nothing to do with red pill ideology.
@@mattynotfatty depressed people make the best comedians
You’re an extremely likable person who I constantly want to high 5 and would love to know. Thanks for your content.
I think the reason why I was never attracted to red pill was because I don't think I've had a really traumatic episode with women. Most of my most traumatic episodes come from men. Women have been much easier to deal with. It kind of makes sense now. Thanks dr k.
Does being perpetually invisible to women romantically and sexually count as one long, drawn out traumatic experience?
@RisingChoas sure, but how old are you? If you are under 25 I wouldn’t worry to much.
@@brandons9027 My brother (or sister) in Christ, I'm dangerously close to 40. After a point, hope withers away and gives bloom to tacit acceptance.
@RisingChaos yeah that sounds painful. I don't tell people this but for u i will. I lost my virginity at 28. I can always get better. But I understand how lonely and painful what you are going through can be. You'll can make it better but I don't know how and it seems you don't either but that does not mean you won't find a way. Stay strong brother. You'll be fine. I'm sure of it. Don't let bitterness take over.
Everytime a woman treated me like worthless shit, red pill content flooded my feed.
Good insights as always, Dr. K. I see so much of this content now in my recommended videos - why? People must be clicking on it. The inflammatory nature of these kinds of videos draws clicks and views. That's why the content creators keep churning it out. Profiting off people's bad experiences and traumas with the opposite sex, people who want their anger validated and to get some kind of comeuppance.
There's also just personality types.
For instance, contrarians just become the opposite of whatever they're surrounded by quite often
Vergil: Might controls everything...
And without strength, you cannot protect anything. Let alone yourself.
Trauma is a strong word for advances being declined
@@EAC168 Exactly.
Ooooooohhhh, negging is gaslighting. Harming their self-image so that they'll think they don't deserve better
So they won't realize that they deserve someone decent (not manipulative & abusive) & will settle for you 😫
yup
That's not what the red pill is, that's what someone told you the red pill is.
@@luminous6969 please can you explain it more? First time I see that expression in that context... and I really dont want to go into deep rabbit hole for something that may or may not affect me 😅
@@luminous6969sounds like you're in a red pill mindset the way you wrote that 😂
@@evangordon711 Yeah that's cos I understand it better than the people that talk about it that don't actually understand it and are only going off of what they've heard about it.
It also appeals greatly to narcissists and emotionally immature people. That's most of the one's I've met. The friend zone is also not trauma. How do we know they're not just confusing persecution/victimization with not getting what they feel entitled to or being held accountable?
The term friend zone implies that they aren't interested in women as human beings to begin with. The fact that she has autonomy in choosing how close she allows someone to her is criticized and undermined. A person who actually likes another as a human being would not stop their kindness just because they are no longer allowed to have sex with the other's body. It's really gross and makes me really worried, with how much the idea is normalized. The whole point is, if he starts acting weird for being put in the "friendzone" then he wasn't ever actually interested in us as a human to begin with. It was only ever for access to the body, pretending to be kind or pretending to get along, putting nice tokens in to get sex out.
And they think they can pitch a hissy fit about "the friend zone" and then that it is unfair for us to be turned off. No thought whatsoever that we feel that we were misled to believe that they cared about us as a human with a personality and a soul, not just as a body to have sex with. 🙄😮💨
@@PaigeSquared It's not about "her autonomy". It's about her playing with his emotions and keeping him on a leash, when he has unresolved trauma.
If you hate or have problem with people of any kind, let it go and distance yourself from them. Don't interact in any way. It will never go well.
The problem with most people today is that everyone is so caught up with their own truths. (Tunnel vision) They can't see that there are multiple ways, personalities, viewpoints that are as real to others as their viewpoint is to them. (Panorama view) There are people who succeed and there are people who fail. Study them! Just because the algorithm is feeding their truths they believe that that is the final and only truth instead of looking out in reality and observing other poeple.
Instead of being curious about the diversity they get caught up in their ego.
I've been through it back in late high school. From Sandman to Entrepreneurs in Cars and finishing on Alexander Grace (Also some other MFs in between). It has been nothing but hell for me! You get hurt by a dumb girl who is not considered of others, you feel a certain way and then comes some dude who says shit that resonates with how you feel and boom! They sell you on some made up shit. The Manosphere is a very dangerous slippery slope. I owe it to Dr.K for getting TF outta there!
Yes i watched Alexander Grace for years and i am Out of or for 2 years and the redpill stuff is so wrong. There are so many honest and nice women Out there. My wife for example is a Woman where i can Show my vulnerabilities and can cry etc And she loves me more and more
Dk is spouting made up shit himself and has a course for you to buy so pot kettle
@@damienchall8297 what?
@@RC-qc2nz what don't you understand
He was talking about someone serious and then kind of joked and brushed it off in the end
It's an example that shows how small a traumatic event can be, and how much your own mind/expectations can be involved
Thanks for the definition, useful
Such a refreshing point of view to all of this, psychiatry really interests me
My shortfalls in my character, are a result of my unwillingness to change them. Its far too late, i opted out of personal relationships a long time ago. I accept my genetics do not move move forward. I accept that they shouldn't. Theres something wrong with me. Most certainly. Ill do the hard thing, and stay alone, not because of trust issues or hate for them, but because of love for them, and an honest and true desire to deny the opportunity to be hurt by me in the first place. I do this because its what i deserve. Im not a good person
He's a nice guy and I really like his insights, but he appears to know absolutely nothing about Incels, PUA or the "Red-Pill" Manosphere.
It's just an easy target to dunk on when your audience knows nothing as well.
I’m honestly scared of what power could do to me.
Because if it can make the horrible people who hurt me do awful things…what can it do to me?
Revenge would destroy your soul even more. It's a poison you think you give others, but in reality, you're drinking yourself. It's not a solution, because you're ending up worse than at the beginning.
Forgiveness and charity is what truly sets a person free. Not carrying the weight of other's transgressions on one's own shoulders.
@@joane24 don't worry, I've moved on from that
@@janeyrevanescence12 Ultimately, what we do with power, is up to us. Do we use that position to help others or to kick them down. Same with anything else (eg money or knowledge/education) do we use that for vice or for virtue.
That's a lot of pacifist propaganda koolaid you drank there.
That's how they control you.
Being angry and aggressive allows us to feel powerful. Even though aggression is just a symptom of powerlessness.
Or being wronged. I think most people look for justice but it doesn't exist outside transcendent ideals. Ladies do what they want, your heart will get trampled. That's life in this current culture.
Im almost 36 yrs old. Im too old to change. I may have difficulty finding a job however people should learn to mind their own business
How'd you get that belief? That's nowhere near to being true.
@ do what I’d do and come up with your own beliefs because everything costs money
@@wacksparrow88 If you don't get the results you want, something has to change. Good luck.
the increased fragility of the generations following Gen-X is astounding
Red pill is vulgarization of evolutionary psychology and cultural dynamics.It's not hating or criticising without comprehend like some people do.
Trauma can occur and has possibility to heal.Some people have, some people had.Anecdotes cannot be basis for generalization.
Healthy and quality relationship requires high capacity and minority has it.
There are lots of people who have good relationships after learning red pill and there are much more people than that who couldn't apply red pill to their lives.
If it's really hard to accept that one of the realities of being human not everyone is equal, then welcome the planet...
It is born out of trauma. I'm climbing out of this stupid headspace now. I used to be a hopeless romantic. I just got hurt so much that I turned fully bitter. But I realize it's MY responsibility to fix it. I'm only offering this honest perspective in hopes it can help someone.
These "big" dudes like Tate are just hurt, little boys, crying out for help.
Don't fall for it. It's so much worse for you than just facing your fears and doing real work.
What’s missing in this argument is the male entitlement in thinking that being kind to a girl means she owes you sex/relationship
This is an over simplified
I wish he wouldn't use the word "traumatic" for things like: Having been friendzoned or rejected once. Those are maybe hurtful experiences but if a woman doesn't want to be your girlfriend while you assume you're going to get her to love you if you act as her platonic friend, that's not a woman "traumatising" you. It's also not a power dynamic because a man being friends with a woman is voluntary. Of course there are incidents where women act in a traumatising way, but that is through mental/physical/sexual violence or abuse.
Agree. That was a rlly weird example and framing. You need to be able to move on if friendzoned, not start hating all women. I could see if like she...cheated or stole or smthn, but srsly???
I do make a point of calling out my women friends on being mean to guys online trying to date. One is bad for ghosting and arguing and complaining they're not worth being nice to.
I think I finally got through to her that if she's not interested, not to force feelings like others have been telling her to do. Seems like she's not going out of her way to be mean anymore.
Same experience...I resented women for a while and tried to be someone else but realised that's not who I am.
Remind me of a quote “the red pill is usually given as a suppository”
I've always found most of the "red pill" stuff pretty ridiculous and repellent, but as a guy who was married to a very self centered and toxic woman PLUS was raised by one as well, the red pill spaces are the only ones I see where these types of women and their awful behaviors can be shown and discussed without being immediately shouted down or dismissed. It's unfortunate that much of the advice given there is also bad.
The problem with talking about abusive women is when guys generalize. I used to frequent a forum that was suddenly swarmed by incels and they pissed off everybody with their outrageous claimes about "women". Women this and women that. If they were confronted about it, they claimed that women trash men too, when in fact women on the forum talked about their specific husbands or boyfriends if there was a problem and not all men.
@linnnea8171 While I'm not doubting your specific experience, this strikes me as an incredible amount of generalizing as well. The idea that women's complaints are somehow typically different or more detailed sounds like anything from willful ignorance to perhaps just unintentional blindness. Perhaps it was true in the space you were in, but certainly not overall. In general, it's also hard to see past statements that use incel as a non-ironic pejorative to categorize guys discussing problems they have had with women.
I've never been traumatized by women that I talk to, my family already did that LOL
It's not feeling weak. People want control so they can prevent themselves from being hurt again and they think it's the only or best way.
Yeah people need information to build competency in a hostile environment.
He bought a washing machine? Yeah, no, that was a passive-aggressive way of giving her the middle finger. He knew exactly what he was doing.
Who wants to bet her late Christmas gift to him will be Divorce Papers? New Year, New Her! 😂
Can we please talk about what the traumatic situations were? Please. We dont know what trauma the incels carry as a society. If we knew, maybe we can progress.
everyone is different. I'm not sure what you are expecting. 30% of men are victims of Rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner.
Or emotional manipulation, unrealistic expectations about the relationship (from either side, which proved hurtful and bad), dumping trauma on your partner in your approach/behaviours, this kind of thing
Getting cheated on by their ex girlfriends is the biggest cause of them all
I know plenty whose “trauma” was getting rejected by women. Excessive use of the word in that case.
You know nothing.
Agree. He is on point here. The most I have ever been, match the most videos of red pill I saw
I listen to this man, and I shake my head.
If you abuse people, you are a damaged person who damages people that you come in contact with daily.
Am I wrong or do we need to change?
I don't think red pill is about manipulation or hate. I think it's about what the metaphor suggests, Neo takes the red pill to see the truth even though it's uncomfortable.
The blue pill is the disney, happily ever after, true love prevails story we grew up to believe. The red pill is saying humans have a dark side in the mating game. Don't go into relationships thinking the person you like is an angel. If you're living in a blue pill world you're going to be manipulated and hurt by that dark side.
@@Promatheos yea, leave it to a paid therapist to not know what redpill means.
Redpill is just reality check in doses
Idea vs actual content are sometimes two veeery different things.
I think this is a problem on both sides but, becomes a bigger issue for men because they will experience more rejection. Overall, it's easier to hate one side when you generalize them as the person that hurt until you become just like that person.
I think a reason why people on both sides might continue to have bad experiences has to do with difference in treat each side gets. Men are often told if they are rejected that they need to do better. While women are told something more along the lines that they need to choose better. So men go after people without judging their character and women look for people similar to exes because they haven't addressed internal issues. Both sides end with the conclusion that it's the other's fault because they've been addressing the issue on their end. The key would be to tell this to both sides because you need to hold value in yourself as well as who you choose to be with.
youre right.
Side point: you know you Hindus and Buddhists talk about just forgetting your desires and being ok with the present moment but it's kind of messed up because, in the perspective of our organisms, we only have one life to live. And more or less you have to take on faith that you can reincarnate.
For example, I would be totally good just sitting in the grass for the rest of my life, not practicing self-development, not chasing women, not doing anything more than living in the present, -if- I knew I could reincarnate. If there were some kind of proof then I feel like I could live such a better life (by being more present and not caring about possibilities, analysing the past etc).
So can you do a video on remembering your past lives? If you can come to that awareness, it would be easier to remain in the flow state. It would be easy, then, to come to the idea that the ego and this one life we have really isn't that crucial that it's worth stressing out over.
She made feel weak and gave me a serious insecurity about my height. 5’8 and i constantly feeling like I am not good enough. The voice in my head that used to cheer me on, tell me how strong I am. It does nothing but belittle (cause I am small) me now. Worst part is, I can do nothing about it.
Where do you get the idea from that you can't do anything about it? That is not true, even if it feels like that for now.
Take time to grief, that's important. But I promise you, you will find a path out!
@ well, you see I can’t get taller. Kinda stuck like this.
@barbariumTV There is always someone to play it down, while having no experience with it and complete ignorance.
Getting judged, mocked, made fun off and or getting rejected, for something like height, something that you can't change and should not matter at all, is the only form of discrimination that is accepted in this society and deemed as normal.
Even if height never bothered you, society and women will make it clear for you, how shallow they really are.
@@Intension123 yh, it has always been tough for me to deal with it. people say just don't let it bother you but literally everywhere in society, everyone perhaps the taller guy. Heck, if you ain't 6 feet, you are seen as weaker. I hope I can learn to cope better. but it will always be cope.
my brother is 5'7" and he's constantly fretting about his height because he does not meet the "standard" ideal male height. I find height insecurities totally unnecessary and people belittling men for their height, just like men will find tall women unattractive, super stupid. I am Latina, as is my family, and where we come from, men are typically shorter compared to other men. So even where you come from and your entire ancestry plays a role into how tall or short you are.
Both men and woman have gotten very shallow about the most pointless shit. Like it's one thing to not like a person's facial features, but height is the most pointless one by far.
Yep. I agree .
Learn to love without attachment
If you achieve that, you don't need a relationship anymore. Some people still would like to get something for once in their lives, and that's why these pickup artistries etc exist.
The hard core rp stuff is nonsense but some of the more entry level stuff makes sense. It lines up with lived experiences. Ik not all women are bad but too many share the same traits as my cheating and abusive ex wife. I don't care to wade through the bullshit. Too many women allow the shitty ones to speak for all women. Plus it's funny how it's only an issue when women get generalized but calling all men predatory is a ok. Maybe get rid of all the double standards and treat people equally and so many people won't fall down that rabbit hole. Men say they are done with dating and they must have mental problems. Women say the same and are celebrated for it. Btw yeah I have trauma. Didn't ask for the shit. But if all women want to constantly compare me to whatever man has hurt them then they are no better then my piece of shit ex wife. I dealt with enough of that from her.
brain tries to cope any bad emotion by doing anything it can if worth it for it's sanity
Hmm...
I have been traumatized before, but i never cared about "Power."
I also didn't feel weak, or at least don't think i did.
I was "Just" feeling Hurt, betrayed and Heartbroken.
Never cared about Power or influence though.
The only Thing i cared about in that context, was to Not give anyone Power over me ever again.
...or more exactly;
Allowing anyone to treat my self-esteem poorly.
I think you can have other traumatic experiences besides women. They are not only cause for traumatic experiences. Perhaps any traumatic experience with regard to power can push someone in to the red pill.
What is so funny about people talking “redpill bad” is that they don’t realise that in those spaces people acknowledge that yeah, you suck, here’s how to pull yourself out of the shitty situation.
Off topic request: can you please make a video about the dangers of Roblox for kids and how to deal with it as a parent? My sisters (both 10) are obsessed with it, especially Brookhaven. I'm super concerned but can't really estimate how dangerous it really is and have no clue how to support them. I'd be incredibly grateful for your advice!
@@vanessa_bekindandpowerful
With all due respect. But Roblox is not the root of the problem in any form, the game by itself don't create any danger to a child. The thing is, as far as the internet goes, everywhere can be dangerous for a child, even their spaces.
There's only way of fixing the issue in my opinion, stay alert to what your kids consume and do on the internet. Guide and teach them to avoid certain things and be on your watch.
The game is temporary, there will be other games, there will be other places and experiences to be had. If you just remove Roblox as if Roblox was the Christ to be crucified, it won't fix or deal with anything. Maybe even worse the scene
Excuses. Being traumatised gives me more empathy and makes me a nicer person, not more of an arsehole. You choose who you choose to be. Excuses are for the weak.
Good for you. Everyone isn't built like you nor does everyone go through shii the same way you do. Some people build walls around themselves due to trauma. Others find various (usually harmful) ways to cope
It’s funny, when I think of empathic people that I know, they never say stuff like “excuses are for the weak”.
This is so ironic
Bro so empathetic that he doesn't care for what others are going through lol
I feel better about myself if i mske someone feel better about themselves...
It is interesting that you link red-pilling to negging and trauma. My perspective is that everyone needs to be red-pilled at least two or three times in their life. We, as humans, have a tendency to think that if we believe something is logically true, everyone should. The concept of realizing that their are other valid perspectives is the root of red-pilling. Though, as usual, those who are radical tend to claim ownership of an idea, just as woke has been claimed by the radicals.
This opinion makes me remember the other video where some guy said that feminism is born when a woman had bad experiences with a man. I feel the mirror of that other opinion here.
Spot on! Everything has a cause and effect and keeps going in circles.
Analogy wise that is how in person classes is born when a person faces negative experiences in a school campus such as bullying, harassment, gossiping, etc.
💯 it’s projection. They project their bad experience onto EVERY woman instead of going to therapy to work through the hurt that that woman caused. Everyone gets hurt in dating at some point. For some it occurs in school others in adulthood, but you can’t project that hurt onto everyone. You have to heal from it in therapy. There is a lesson to be learned from every hurtful experience. It helps us grow and mature and see red flags faster.
Also when we literally see the successful guys around us negging and being toxic... Sorta makes us look to copy them to get access to the same glorious treatment they're receiving from nice, sweet, attractive women. Ever considered that?
What exactly is this red pill?
This makes me insane. Men going nuts over a girl friendzoning them, or breaking up with them, and ending up in the red pill community. Eventually, there is a growing hate towards women. As a woman, I was s**ually assaulted, I am a victim of IPV, men cheated on me multiple times etc. If I don't walk around and hate men, belittle them, harm them, you have no right to speak about women being bad. If I am still open to relationships, constantly try to reconnect with someone, I am sorry but you have no right to fall into the red pill space. This just infuriates me.
What does red pill specifically mean
I’ve never been hurt by a women, never got traumatised by a women. But I don’t know i just feel like i have no energy to be in a relationship with one…I don’t hate women, its just that at this current part of my life I don’t feel like interacting with women. Maybe this will change when i reach 30 and wanna settle down and get married. But now i just focus on MMA training and studying for school.
@@mr.mo_alsh hey, that's FINE. Whatever is going on in your life - maybe nothing, you just don't feel ready yet or sth - don't feel pressured just cause you're single.
Maybe you'll want a relationship later, or maybe not, but it's YOUR life. A (romantic) relationship is supposed to make the individuals in it happy, not get the approval of others. If it wouldn't make you happy at the moment, that's your business, and you should never feel like there's sth wrong with you.
Relationships take work and that means energy being used. Emotionally, physically, sexually (unless the couple is asexual), etc. It's good when people realize that they're not in a good place to put that energy in and just don't date. Others know it and date anyways, making everyone involved miserable.
Doesn’t mean you’re “red pilled” you sound like a decent guy
I agree. You just seem self aware. Maybe it comes and maybe not. You do you.
People who tell you you have to be in a relationship just talk about themselves.
nothing wrong with that! I'm a woman in the same place. I don't have the time/energy and it isn't fair to someone else to neglect them.
the big misconception about the red pill is at first it sounds bitter and negative but in reality it gives the unfiltered cold hard truth so the issue is when dudes get trapped in the rage after listening to the truth but if you get passed that
phase you understand relationship dynamics at its core
Women can't be simplified as easily as a few in the manosphere world like to think. Power is of course not everything and women are not all the same. I hate to see healthy gamer make such superficial statements on subjects. He doesn't even know the definition of a neg. He knows the bastardized misrepresentation of the concept.
@@Bf26fge and that's facts brother but context is key so instead of just blindly accepting talking points, one gotta look at the real life situation first and see if it actually fits. like u said, women aren't one-siye-fits-all. and same goes men too. bottom line: always keep leveling up.
There’s a lot of truth in the red pill
The issue is truth can be mixed with lies. So they can tell the truth on one part of the issue but then mislead you on another. The Redpill spaces however are the only ones catering to an ignored audience.
"Friendzoning" is not 'taking advantage of kindness'. It is just normal life. The sad issue that too many males automatically 'fuckzone' most females & simultaneously misread & devalue simple friendliness.
Agreed, but the same could also be said about modern feminists. On paper feminism is good, but on practice it has become catharsis just to feel good about themselves.
On paper it's NOT good.
People like negging because they are weak. And have the inability to forgive people. Plus a whole slew of other issues.
This screams someone who has not dealt with red pill period
Agreed.
Agree.. Intellectually lazy stereotype
what is 'red pill'?
Also personally, us guys see it work really well for the successful men. And we'll copy what they do because (obviously) we want the same thing they're getting access to. I spent years stuck on the 'niceguy' problem. I'd see girls absolutely infatuated with horrible, mean, cruel guys and treating these guys like kings... Meanwhile I'd be stuck watching having always been taught they'd treat me like that if I'm such a nice guy. Add to that being made fun of by girls for being "too nice" with that being cited as the reason why I'll be alone and it makes you doubt everything you were ever taught.
I cant suggest strongly enough, to take a look at what your role is with your mum. You'll understand why you get hurt by women in your adult relationships and can reprogram those default views & reactions that constitute your role
expected role *
Dude… red pill doesn’t mean you behave this way. IF you are for people… maybe stop judging so hard “red” people… The “blue” people hurt, and literally damaged my life enough. I don’t want the blue people…
Why???? Why choose to put people into such groups and apply some kind of “credit as a human” to one side or the other… ONLY idiots believe one side is not using politics for themselves… like … seriously… what gains do YOU get from this post?
Not the best … go back to the drawing board… I still appreciate and respect many posts… please get back on track . I don’t have to agree… also, some quotes maybe came in an attachment and don’t require a personal opinion???
I hate the term “friend zone” so much. Women don’t owe you shit. Come on, doc
I doubt he believes that. I think that he just used it as an example of something that red pills talk about often.
I'm also not buying the negging coming from trauma. Every girl I knew in high school was scared to directly reject someone's advances out of fear he'd turn hostile. Negging has always been a thing.
I've been traumatized by at least 20 women so far in my life. I am 31 and I've been rejected so far by 50 women but for some reason I never turned into Black, White, Red, Blue Purple Pill nor into incel. Maybe, I always had the hope that not all women are the same or not all women run behind big salaries, dicks, cars, mansions and a great lifestyle.
I hope it's that way and not the other way. 😂😂😂
Some of the red pill stuff just makes sense regardless of what you call it.
It doesn't make sense, but part of the difficulty of this is precisely because you lack the intelligence to even recognize why it doesn't make sense. It's really hard to admit that some men are simply not educated or intelligent enough to recognize their own weaknesses and fall prey to these online influencers.
@@rw5622Explain how it doesn't make sense.
Found capt'n save a 'o. 😂🤡
When they talk about "all women," they are actually NOT referring to "all women," like your 80 year old gran for instance. What they mean is women between 18-30 that are 8-10 in looks that they never had a chance with in the first place.
There are no women 8-10 in looks in everyday life. 8s are the rare models, 9s international models, and 10s don't exist.
pots calling the kettle black.....
What do you consider "red pill"?
48 Laws of Power
- Robert Greene
Great book.
If we were treating each other like equals guys wouldn't be doing everything for women who were just friend zoning them And women wouldn't be able to build a culture around doing this kind of thing to men. It's toxic on both sides and very few people actually get over that bit of it. If you are a man and you find yourself in a position where you are doing everything you can for a woman. Well, that's not how you should be courting her. That's just allowing yourself to be used. If you are a woman who finds yourself having a lot of male friends that are doing things like taking care of your finances or working on your car for free. And you're not trying to date them and they arnt your family. Well, you're just using them, they're not your friends.
What is red pill?
Did you come up with that yourself, Einstein?
Is there a version of the red pill for women, or is it more a masculine stuff because it's hard for a man to be seen as weak, and not so much for a woman?
4th wave feminism.
@@buggus0034 ok, thank you.
What is a “red pill”, please.
This happens to everyone though. Before I met my husband I got cheated on by both previous longtime boyfriends. Of course it hurt, but emotionally sound people MOVE ON from that. It’s no reason for endless self-pity and to malign an entire gender across the comment sections of all of social media. These people are weak minded, and to be avoided at all costs.
Close.
what is negging
i agree, this also applies to feminist and independent women tho.. 🧟♀️