Absolutely!! Thank you for describing it so well it’s something that’s literally part of us so ignoring it or “not seeing it” is absolutely unhelpful. Respecting us and our disabilities is the way to go because it’s not like we *chose* this way of life it’s just what we are!!! Our bodies are all vessels for our souls and yours is beautiful 🥰
Exactly. It’s the same thing as why people shouldn’t say theyre “color blind”. It is a beautiful thing to respect each other’s differences. There is history, there is pain, and there is promise wrapped up in all those cultural aspects of us. We need to learn more about each other, and to celebrate it all. ❤
I'm not a hater but I don't think the comment was trying to be mean or whatever they were just saying that you should see more than just the disability like the fact they're still a human with thoughts and feelings of their own.
this is an amazing explanation. my disability is a huge part of my life, my past, my future etc so it is not really possible to completely separate myself and my disability. ❤ it can be a hard balance of wanting people to see more about me than my disability, and wanting people in my life to actually acknowledge my disability and the impact it has on me
I think when some people say that they see a person beyond their disability they mean that when they're talking with them, they pay no attention to their disability.
@@interstellarpieceofmeatcan you please stop. You've had the creator of the video and the commenter explaining how the mentality of that statement isn't good. Please stop trying to make it ok. If you aren't disabled you don't get to decide what we like to hear or not. We're telling you what we aren't ok with and you're sitting there ignoring us and continuing to hold a problematic mindset. Please stop.
@@interstellarpieceofmeat I want you to think about it this way. My mother, upon us finding out I was bipolar, began to be annoyed when I mentioned something was a symptom of my mental issues. "You are making your illness your identity and acting like youre a victim. Your bipolar isnt who you are and you need to own up to your feelings." What she couldnt see is that my bipolar means that sometimes I experience emotions that arent even mine, but I feel them all the same. I have to warn my coworkers that sometimes I have days where I may ask them to ignore me if Im snippy because Im trying to hold back an emotion. Because its not fair for me to release that feeling onto them when its not even how I feel! If you ignored my diagnosis, you would think I truly hated you. My bipolar is a part of my identity because it changes how I act and how I have to consider my mental state before I do or say ANYTHING. I have to constantly monitor myself before I make decisions. That doesnt make me a victim of my bipolar or means my bipolar is a dirty thing no-one can know I have. It just means sometimes I have to give warning to people when my emotions are high. Or wear noise cancelling headphones to the store. Im coping. I love talking about my bipolar because so many people see it as this awful thing and use it as an insult. But it's just a different experience. I know mental illnesses cant compare to the struggle of being physically different, but I think that seeking accomodations and wanting your illness to be acknowledged is similar enough. You wouldnt take someone with extreme anxiety into a haunted house. You wouldnt ask a little person to ride a rollercoaster. It just wouldnt be safe, and acknowledging that isnt a bad thing.
You explained this so well. My parents still whisper ‘disabled’ as if it’s a bad word. 20+ years of this. It’s not what defines me but it is an important part of me and I wouldn’t be me without it.
Mine treat it the same way but won’t accept that I am disabled despite me meeting the legal requirements for ADA accommodations….which are only available for disabled people. It’s not a bad word, and I really wish our education on disability would be improved so families didn’t act like ours.
Um I don’t think color and disability follow into the same category… You’d be more accurate to say a persons individual History cause there are blacks who are in high rich positions of power never known a day of hardship in there lives and were raised normal. And there’s whites who were born in poverty or human trafficking that fought there way out. The color of skin Dosent define a person’s uniqueness there choices and history do. And to point out that skin color does influence it is racist in itself.
@@CosmicPotato740 You’re rambling about nonsense I didn’t say. I don’t need you to tell me how I should feel. Nobody said anything about what you’re talking about.
@@CosmicPotato740 @CosmicPotato740 They said this comment to reference what was said in the video. Saying you don't seeing someone's disability as well as saying you don't see colour both have the same outcome. Ignoring a trait of a person because it can be negative. Saying you don't see a disability or colour makes it seem like a disability and colour are bad traits, are negatives one should ignore. When they're not.
@@tahliawilliams6506 I don’t believe so. If I was to ignore someone’s disability that’s ignoring that there’s something wrong physically and the person cannot function normal. But a skin color is not something wrong it’s normal as eye color or nose shape or hair color. So why would I need to ‘see it’ or ‘affirm its presence’ if that Dosent help me to understand your charecter or who you are..? And by valuing it above charecter would that not make that racist anyway?
This is such a good explanation. Reducing somebody to their disability is bad, but so is ignoring it. We are shaped by our experiences and they change us. It’s impossible to seperate somebody into their parts, being apart of someone’s life means taking and knowing all of them
Love it! Reminds me of Paul & Matthew, and how Paul’s blindness is something that *adds* to their relationship because of Matthew’s fondness for pranks, and how having a blind husband opened up (healthy!) prank opportunities.
Omg same. Some older lady walked up to me in the seated section at a concert and said I was too young to be sitting. She knew nothing about me. Trust me. I was sitting for a reason and it sucked at that moment. But she essentially forced me to get up or I would have to give too much personal info
EXACTLY. without my chronic pain, chronic illness , adhd, & autism, I wouldn't be the same person. Like, my disabilities aren't as visible (unless I'm using a cane), but they are so central to who I have become as a person.
@@rivviegobrr714 of course u think that..: because she literally listed all of the “trendy” conditions to have right now. Literally 99% of people under 30 claim to have atleast one of these
When people tell me that I pass as a normal person, it bugs me so much. I'm autistic. I own it. It's an integral part of me. I work hard to adapt to society, not to become someone else or to be "cured". Not being me is not a compliment. Being autistic is not something to get rid of. It's just one of the many parts of me.
I envy you, I have a lot of pent up rage towards my autism. It makes my life complicated and stressful. A lot of my peers see me as a pitiful person and only act nice to me because they feel like they need too, I’m a sophomore in highschool, so that honestly doesn’t make it better
@aceofspadesssss I'm so sorry you have to go through that. High school was probably the worst chunk of my life in terms of bullying and hating myself. It gets so much better once you start your adult life. Do try to live alone in a place. I used autism as a reason to get a single room in my dorms, and I have my own apartment now. It feels amazing. Plus, people are much more mature after HS, and you find some who genuinely like you for who you are, quirks and all. Hope things get better for you. ❤️
@@mcvenne8935 That’s reassuring to know at the least, I really do appreciate it. It ain’t often I get reassurance like that. I’m actually working towards becoming an author, so I’m rather happy for the future. I am already a writer, but I’d like some of my work to get published lmao I hope you do well pal, stay safe out here
@@aceofspadesssssI can't talk for them but for me, I came to terms with the fact that I'm autistic and I can't change that, being autistic to me isn't bad inherently I just have some disabilities and different ways of going through life but I've seen first hand that if only other people could except that and work with me then I wouldn't be struggling so bad. If my teachers were taught to recognize and accommodate kids with disabilities without needing legal paperwork then I wouldn't have been called "lazy" and I would've excelled from the support. If I hadn't had my only IEP taken away because I did better with it (and that's upsetting cause the point of having one is so kids do better) then schoolwork wouldn't have been so hard. If my peers would've thought to themselves that maybe I was dealing with something unknown when I told them I was doing my best rather than always blaming me for not meeting expectations then I wouldn't have felt there was something "wrong" with me. Ever since I was a kid I knew I was doing my best but noone could ever see that and I was upset with them for that rather than at myself but I WAS upset with myself for not knowing why because they always needed a reason and wouldn't except that I didn't know and to this day I still feel like society should be taught different, they should be taught to better understand and help ppl with disabilities even if they don't know what's wrong because now that I know, and I know the pain and exhaustion was real and it was not just what everyone else was saying, I know that I had to exhaust myself for everyone else to feel "comfortable" so I appeared "normal" and now it just sounds like a sick game to me that I'm done playing because I've been doing my part and I don't think disabled people should be the ones picking up the slack for reasons that should be obvious. *I'm not full of hate tho, I'm full of hope and I keep in mind what is realistic, I want to become an educator and I want to make change because I've seen so many nurodivergent kids without and sometimes even with proper diagnosis go through the same struggles as me and there is not a single good reason for it.* And that's how I feel as someone who doesn't hate their autism and excepts it as the way I was worn and how my brain formed, through so much time trying to change for others and struggling to one day find out how much easier it is for them to make simple changes in mindset has made me see life through a completely different lense and I was angry alot as a kid but I need to leave that in the past and work with other ppl like me to make it easier for the new children to move forward without constant struggle. (Also if ur not disabled and reading this then please keep in mind that challenge is a good thing but it is very different from struggling and we aren't being challenged, it isn't fun, many times it's not achievable, and it hurts us, sometimes long-term just to appear "normal", (look up autistic burnout and information on why meltdowns happen) this is struggle and its not right to anyone.)
pretending someone doesnt have a disability can be so disrespectful imo. for a lot of us, its a part of us we cant just IGNORE, and it affects our day to day life without question. if my so just IGNORED it and never even asked about it/how to properly act just screams fake to me. you cannot ignore it forever just to seem like a good person, if we are going to be partners, my disability will be there too
I don’t think they meant it in that way. When they said “just see the person not the disability” it doesn’t mean to ignore the disability, it means that that person is much more than just her disability. A lot of times we see a disabled person and think to ourselves “aw I feel bad for them” automatically
exactly!!!! thank you. im chronically ill and throughout my life I've learnt that the more i accept it, assume my pain, disabilities, NOT ignore it, and the more proud i own that title, the more healthy I'll feel.
So true, although some people think its good to ignore it and see just the person, it has history and is apart of what makes them who they are. Also your dog is so cute, they look like my dog, but hes a great dane so hes A LOT bigger
Beautifully said. Reminds me of when people say, "I don't see color" when it comes to racism. I'm thinking, come on, unless you've got brain damage, everyone sees color. My best friend of 50 years is blind. She's also Black. I. See. Her. Blindness. I also see her Blackness. They're parts of her, of what makes up who she is, and I appreciate that. I'm Hispanic. She sees me, sees my race, and appreciates it. See people for who and what they are. Choosing to ignore certain traits is treating these traits like a dirty secret. No! These traits are visible and should be respected and appreciated.
You just described mine and my husband's relationship perfectly ❤ every time we go on holiday he's always looking out for me and making sure the places we go to are accessible for me. This is just one of the ways he cares for me of course but every day I am so grateful that he takes my disabilities seriously and helps me live my life to the fullest ❤
Beautifully said. I experiences daily seizures. Its frustrating when folks want to pretend that I don't. I need accomindations in order to be independent despite very dehabilitating symptoms. We all need our partners to see our strengths and weaknesses, jncluding our disabilities :)
This has been the best explanation of this I've seen. Growing up my dad was disabled but always worked tirelessly to hide it and was always so ashamed to ever need help of any kind, so I was raised to "not see it" and not see alot of things really. So much repression that has taken work to unlearn and this explanation has helped me understand a new perspective. Thank you
This is like me when I first went to ‘the States’ in early 90s and had to learn NOT to be colourblind. I am now disabled and have learned again just what this woman is explaining. Life is full of lessons. We all think we have no prejudices I guess!!Thanks Cassidy,live your best life x
This reminds me of "love is color blind" as if you can love them out of a history of discrimination. I totally agree, to ignore my blackness is to ignore important context about me as a person. It's not all of me but we don't have to pretend it doesn't matter. What they are saying is, someone who has a disability is lovable to the degree their disability is able to be overlooked/has been normalized. Which is an unfair standard and the opposite of what they might be intending to say.
Thank you so much for adressing this!❤ I used to work.with blind people and I would allways hear kids wondering and parent shushing them not to look or to be heard. I would allways use those moment to nicely 'educate' parents and kids.
I really love how well you explained this, ignoring differences don't make them go away, and pretending that someone is exactly like you negates their experiences and needs. I also really love how you embrace your disability as a part of you, it's really inspiring, as I -someone with a neurological disability- tend to avoid actually labeling myself as disabled because of the negative connotations of the word. Thank you for your videos, they make a difference ❤
This is explained so well!! You wanna see the disability and know that's it there. Know about what you have/had to go through and how to help you know, but not make it your entire personality and only seee your disability and not anything else.
This!!! I want and NEED people to acknowledge that I don’t work the way they do, and I can be very disadvantaged at times, they have to see my disability in order to be properly accommodating and good partners in any sort of relationship! Love your content so much ❤
You summed it up perfectly! If people ignored the disability, how would they be able to educate themselves? How would they know how to best support that disabled person? Ignoring the disability would mean ignoring signs that they need to be accommodated, and that they would need extra support in places that an abled person wouldn't need it. Deliberate ignorance is inconsideration.
You explained this so well! ❤ And it also explains why seeing ONLY someone’s disability means you’re not really seeing them. Our disability is a part of us - past, present, and future. But it’s not ALL we are. There are so many things about me that have nothing to do with my disability. So don’t pretend my disability doesn’t exist. But also don’t act like my disability is all there is.
Thank you for this video .. I am disabled dysautonomia and neurological disorders and so much messaging is like “look past” disability.. which is so odd because these are things I live with, things I am, not things to be ignored 😐. I am so happy for you and your boyfriend ❤ I hope to have someone in my life like that some day 😊
It also feels similar to "omg it's okay I don't see race/skin colour" like.... you're wilfully ignoring a huge part of someone's whole *being* to ignore this part of us. Love your video!!
I think what a lot of people mean when saying 'I don't see disability' is 'while I acknowledge, accept and acommodate your disability, I won't factor it in while forming an opinion of you as a person'. It's just really hard to accurately express how I feel, because of course I see disabilities and understand that they affect your experience and story, but it's not more or less important to me than any other factor which makes up the person in front of me who I'm getting to know.
Every time I try correcting people with this mindset they always rely “BUT ITS A COMPLIMENT” yadda yadda. If a disabled person is straight up telling you it’s offensive maybe stop it
To be honest for all of last year, I held this mindset. But then I met my friend who has dwarfism, and they completely changed my view on everything and I think it’s horrible that this even has to be explained especially because it’s not taught and so I love what are you and many other creators are doing on this platform, which is spreading awareness.
I totally agree with your response. My daughter is disabled with learning disabilities and a wonderful, beautiful young woman, just like you. Confidence and love are for everyone. Always be proud of who you are and how you got there!😍😍😍💝
Explained perfectly. It's like people saying they don't see color, when race shapes how you are perceived as you move through the world. If you ignore part of my story then you aren't really seeing me.
I love this explanation. It allowes you to live your best life with the body you have and the abilities you have. It allows your partner and friends recognize what your needs are and how to be the best possible people in your life. It makes the friendships and relationships so much more meaningfull.
Honestly, this really speaks to me. I have ADHD and it's very hurtful when people (mostly coworkers) don't make any attempt to understand me or my quirks and just get angry at me. I'm so open-minded and celebrate others differences. It never dawned on me but by not understanding the learning disabilities and daily struggles I have, it makes me not feel seen. So true!
Thank you for addressing this I appreciate it so much and I agree so much you have a beautiful story and it’s all important every little piece of it that makes you who you are ❤
if you have to ignore someones disability/"see past it" to treat a disabled person well, that just means you see disability as something that would impede your respect for that person if you didn't block it out. Which means you have ableist mindsets to work through people tend to choose one of two extremes. Either seeing the person but not the disability, or seeing the disability but not the person. Both mindsets cause harm (note that me saying something is an ableist mindset isnt an attack. most people have ableist mindsets, bigotry is systemic you have to do active work to reverse that. its not a personal attack its just something to learn about)
disabilities are so impactful to someone's experience. its a lot of the reason that people dont always want a cure to their disabilities. yes, my disabilities have tons of negative effects on my life, but I would never choose to get rid of them because it would completely change who I am
Exactly, my disabilities have completely shaped my personality, if I didn’t have autism I wouldn’t act like how I do now, amd I love myself and how I act Sometimes I can be really difficult but it’s also a part of us
This is very much true! It's a HUGE struggle to be still in place or not be moving just due to my Tourettes or ADHD (Often need to be doing something) but when the times come for it to be the most important I just have to suck it up & push all of it back even if it means getting a tic attack.
Thank you so much for saying this! I'm also disabled, and the mindset that one should ignore someone's disability is actually more harmful. It has the same vibes of saying one doesn't see color, it's really harmful and actually perpetuates racism by not acknowledging the struggles someone might face because of their race.
Thank you for saying this, as an autistic person I may not be disabled like you but I still am disabled. I love your channel and the content on it, it's short and to the point which is perfect! I love the way you embrace your disability in your life. I also would like to point out how I love how you didn't bash the person at all and are just trying to teach
I’m autistic and when people try to say “I see you for you not your disability.” I like to point out: that yes I am more than just an autistic person but if you ignore my autism you’re ignoring a pretty massive part as to who I am today. You can view me as more than just my disability while also still seeing my disability is part of why I am who I am.
I love that you are staying positive throughout your disability I also have a mental disability and can you please give me any tips to stay positive throughout my disability
this is the same concept for why i roll my eyes when someone says "i don't see colour" like hey it's not a bad word! it's good to see the nuance of someone's experience that is different from your own ❤
I'm so happy for you. I'm visually impaired and I've had tons of guys I'm trying to get to know better lose interest when they find out. It's good to know they're not all that shallow. :(
Absolutely!! Thank you for describing it so well it’s something that’s literally part of us so ignoring it or “not seeing it” is absolutely unhelpful. Respecting us and our disabilities is the way to go because it’s not like we *chose* this way of life it’s just what we are!!! Our bodies are all vessels for our souls and yours is beautiful 🥰
Exactly. It’s the same thing as why people shouldn’t say theyre “color blind”. It is a beautiful thing to respect each other’s differences. There is history, there is pain, and there is promise wrapped up in all those cultural aspects of us. We need to learn more about each other, and to celebrate it all. ❤
I'm not a hater but I don't think the comment was trying to be mean or whatever they were just saying that you should see more than just the disability like the fact they're still a human with thoughts and feelings of their own.
❤
@@Benjibunny13 nobody thought they were intentionally disrespectful. But we're just explaining why it's a bad thing to say.
this is an amazing explanation. my disability is a huge part of my life, my past, my future etc so it is not really possible to completely separate myself and my disability. ❤ it can be a hard balance of wanting people to see more about me than my disability, and wanting people in my life to actually acknowledge my disability and the impact it has on me
I think when some people say that they see a person beyond their disability they mean that when they're talking with them, they pay no attention to their disability.
@@interstellarpieceofmeatcan you please stop. You've had the creator of the video and the commenter explaining how the mentality of that statement isn't good. Please stop trying to make it ok. If you aren't disabled you don't get to decide what we like to hear or not. We're telling you what we aren't ok with and you're sitting there ignoring us and continuing to hold a problematic mindset. Please stop.
@@interstellarpieceofmeatyeah that post is just a fail 👎 do better
@@interstellarpieceofmeat I want you to think about it this way.
My mother, upon us finding out I was bipolar, began to be annoyed when I mentioned something was a symptom of my mental issues.
"You are making your illness your identity and acting like youre a victim. Your bipolar isnt who you are and you need to own up to your feelings."
What she couldnt see is that my bipolar means that sometimes I experience emotions that arent even mine, but I feel them all the same.
I have to warn my coworkers that sometimes I have days where I may ask them to ignore me if Im snippy because Im trying to hold back an emotion. Because its not fair for me to release that feeling onto them when its not even how I feel! If you ignored my diagnosis, you would think I truly hated you.
My bipolar is a part of my identity because it changes how I act and how I have to consider my mental state before I do or say ANYTHING.
I have to constantly monitor myself before I make decisions.
That doesnt make me a victim of my bipolar or means my bipolar is a dirty thing no-one can know I have.
It just means sometimes I have to give warning to people when my emotions are high. Or wear noise cancelling headphones to the store.
Im coping.
I love talking about my bipolar because so many people see it as this awful thing and use it as an insult. But it's just a different experience.
I know mental illnesses cant compare to the struggle of being physically different, but I think that seeking accomodations and wanting your illness to be acknowledged is similar enough.
You wouldnt take someone with extreme anxiety into a haunted house. You wouldnt ask a little person to ride a rollercoaster.
It just wouldnt be safe, and acknowledging that isnt a bad thing.
@@queer_unicornthey mean staring at it and making comments about it or funny faces I think
You explained this so well. My parents still whisper ‘disabled’ as if it’s a bad word. 20+ years of this. It’s not what defines me but it is an important part of me and I wouldn’t be me without it.
Mine treat it the same way but won’t accept that I am disabled despite me meeting the legal requirements for ADA accommodations….which are only available for disabled people. It’s not a bad word, and I really wish our education on disability would be improved so families didn’t act like ours.
Well said. I always hated, “I don’t see color.”
Fr, it really dismisses the history of racism.
Um I don’t think color and disability follow into the same category… You’d be more accurate to say a persons individual History cause there are blacks who are in high rich positions of power never known a day of hardship in there lives and were raised normal. And there’s whites who were born in poverty or human trafficking that fought there way out. The color of skin Dosent define a person’s uniqueness there choices and history do. And to point out that skin color does influence it is racist in itself.
@@CosmicPotato740 You’re rambling about nonsense I didn’t say. I don’t need you to tell me how I should feel. Nobody said anything about what you’re talking about.
@@CosmicPotato740 @CosmicPotato740 They said this comment to reference what was said in the video. Saying you don't seeing someone's disability as well as saying you don't see colour both have the same outcome. Ignoring a trait of a person because it can be negative. Saying you don't see a disability or colour makes it seem like a disability and colour are bad traits, are negatives one should ignore. When they're not.
@@tahliawilliams6506 I don’t believe so. If I was to ignore someone’s disability that’s ignoring that there’s something wrong physically and the person cannot function normal. But a skin color is not something wrong it’s normal as eye color or nose shape or hair color. So why would I need to ‘see it’ or ‘affirm its presence’ if that Dosent help me to understand your charecter or who you are..? And by valuing it above charecter would that not make that racist anyway?
This is such a good explanation. Reducing somebody to their disability is bad, but so is ignoring it. We are shaped by our experiences and they change us. It’s impossible to seperate somebody into their parts, being apart of someone’s life means taking and knowing all of them
Love it!
Reminds me of Paul & Matthew, and how Paul’s blindness is something that *adds* to their relationship because of Matthew’s fondness for pranks, and how having a blind husband opened up (healthy!) prank opportunities.
whenever i think of them i think of the cute little penguins 😭
Yess! They're so wholesome :))
@@wornouthoodieespecially Matthew putting them everywhere and Paul not noticing for a little bit 😂
@@indy-dog2 i love those ones 😂
I still love the Penguin Fridge prank
I have an invisible disability which I feel the same way about, the way you worded it , captured exactly how I feel ☺️
Omg same. Some older lady walked up to me in the seated section at a concert and said I was too young to be sitting. She knew nothing about me. Trust me. I was sitting for a reason and it sucked at that moment. But she essentially forced me to get up or I would have to give too much personal info
So well explained ❤
EXACTLY. without my chronic pain, chronic illness , adhd, & autism, I wouldn't be the same person. Like, my disabilities aren't as visible (unless I'm using a cane), but they are so central to who I have become as a person.
bro are we the same person? how old are you lol- I'm 17
@@rivviegobrr714 I'm 22 LOL... maybe ur my alternate universe self lol
@@clownshrooms we should be friends actually 😭 i need more friends like me frfr
@@rivviegobrr714 of course u think that..: because she literally listed all of the “trendy” conditions to have right now. Literally 99% of people under 30 claim to have atleast one of these
@@anabella4166❤️
When people tell me that I pass as a normal person, it bugs me so much. I'm autistic. I own it. It's an integral part of me. I work hard to adapt to society, not to become someone else or to be "cured". Not being me is not a compliment. Being autistic is not something to get rid of. It's just one of the many parts of me.
I envy you, I have a lot of pent up rage towards my autism. It makes my life complicated and stressful. A lot of my peers see me as a pitiful person and only act nice to me because they feel like they need too, I’m a sophomore in highschool, so that honestly doesn’t make it better
@aceofspadesssss I'm so sorry you have to go through that. High school was probably the worst chunk of my life in terms of bullying and hating myself. It gets so much better once you start your adult life. Do try to live alone in a place. I used autism as a reason to get a single room in my dorms, and I have my own apartment now. It feels amazing. Plus, people are much more mature after HS, and you find some who genuinely like you for who you are, quirks and all. Hope things get better for you. ❤️
@@mcvenne8935 That’s reassuring to know at the least, I really do appreciate it. It ain’t often I get reassurance like that. I’m actually working towards becoming an author, so I’m rather happy for the future. I am already a writer, but I’d like some of my work to get published lmao
I hope you do well pal, stay safe out here
@aceofspadesssss OMG, same! I'm working towards becoming a librairian and writer. Hope we both get published and read a bunch.
@@aceofspadesssssI can't talk for them but for me, I came to terms with the fact that I'm autistic and I can't change that, being autistic to me isn't bad inherently I just have some disabilities and different ways of going through life but I've seen first hand that if only other people could except that and work with me then I wouldn't be struggling so bad. If my teachers were taught to recognize and accommodate kids with disabilities without needing legal paperwork then I wouldn't have been called "lazy" and I would've excelled from the support. If I hadn't had my only IEP taken away because I did better with it (and that's upsetting cause the point of having one is so kids do better) then schoolwork wouldn't have been so hard. If my peers would've thought to themselves that maybe I was dealing with something unknown when I told them I was doing my best rather than always blaming me for not meeting expectations then I wouldn't have felt there was something "wrong" with me. Ever since I was a kid I knew I was doing my best but noone could ever see that and I was upset with them for that rather than at myself but I WAS upset with myself for not knowing why because they always needed a reason and wouldn't except that I didn't know and to this day I still feel like society should be taught different, they should be taught to better understand and help ppl with disabilities even if they don't know what's wrong because now that I know, and I know the pain and exhaustion was real and it was not just what everyone else was saying, I know that I had to exhaust myself for everyone else to feel "comfortable" so I appeared "normal" and now it just sounds like a sick game to me that I'm done playing because I've been doing my part and I don't think disabled people should be the ones picking up the slack for reasons that should be obvious. *I'm not full of hate tho, I'm full of hope and I keep in mind what is realistic, I want to become an educator and I want to make change because I've seen so many nurodivergent kids without and sometimes even with proper diagnosis go through the same struggles as me and there is not a single good reason for it.* And that's how I feel as someone who doesn't hate their autism and excepts it as the way I was worn and how my brain formed, through so much time trying to change for others and struggling to one day find out how much easier it is for them to make simple changes in mindset has made me see life through a completely different lense and I was angry alot as a kid but I need to leave that in the past and work with other ppl like me to make it easier for the new children to move forward without constant struggle.
(Also if ur not disabled and reading this then please keep in mind that challenge is a good thing but it is very different from struggling and we aren't being challenged, it isn't fun, many times it's not achievable, and it hurts us, sometimes long-term just to appear "normal", (look up autistic burnout and information on why meltdowns happen) this is struggle and its not right to anyone.)
"i dont say disabled. Its differently abled"
Then ask me to "act normal" when i stim Because im autistic 😂
Im just disabled please. 😂
Help yall are adorable 😭
pretending someone doesnt have a disability can be so disrespectful imo. for a lot of us, its a part of us we cant just IGNORE, and it affects our day to day life without question. if my so just IGNORED it and never even asked about it/how to properly act just screams fake to me. you cannot ignore it forever just to seem like a good person, if we are going to be partners, my disability will be there too
I don’t think they meant it in that way. When they said “just see the person not the disability” it doesn’t mean to ignore the disability, it means that that person is much more than just her disability. A lot of times we see a disabled person and think to ourselves “aw I feel bad for them” automatically
exactly!!!! thank you. im chronically ill and throughout my life I've learnt that the more i accept it, assume my pain, disabilities, NOT ignore it, and the more proud i own that title, the more healthy I'll feel.
I love this and I agree, this is exactly how I feel about mine and others.
So true, although some people think its good to ignore it and see just the person, it has history and is apart of what makes them who they are. Also your dog is so cute, they look like my dog, but hes a great dane so hes A LOT bigger
Why is this so comforting and reassuring to watch? It gives hope that someone can actually love your soul.
Beautifully said. Reminds me of when people say, "I don't see color" when it comes to racism. I'm thinking, come on, unless you've got brain damage, everyone sees color.
My best friend of 50 years is blind. She's also Black. I. See. Her. Blindness. I also see her Blackness. They're parts of her, of what makes up who she is, and I appreciate that.
I'm Hispanic. She sees me, sees my race, and appreciates it.
See people for who and what they are. Choosing to ignore certain traits is treating these traits like a dirty secret. No! These traits are visible and should be respected and appreciated.
Thank you!!!!
You just described mine and my husband's relationship perfectly ❤ every time we go on holiday he's always looking out for me and making sure the places we go to are accessible for me. This is just one of the ways he cares for me of course but every day I am so grateful that he takes my disabilities seriously and helps me live my life to the fullest ❤
Beautifully said. I experiences daily seizures. Its frustrating when folks want to pretend that I don't. I need accomindations in order to be independent despite very dehabilitating symptoms. We all need our partners to see our strengths and weaknesses, jncluding our disabilities :)
This has been the best explanation of this I've seen. Growing up my dad was disabled but always worked tirelessly to hide it and was always so ashamed to ever need help of any kind, so I was raised to "not see it" and not see alot of things really. So much repression that has taken work to unlearn and this explanation has helped me understand a new perspective. Thank you
I commend you on the respectful and beautiful way that you chose to address this!!!
I learned something today, thank you.
This is like me when I first went to ‘the States’ in early 90s and had to learn NOT to be colourblind. I am now disabled and have learned again just what this woman is explaining. Life is full of lessons. We all think we have no prejudices I guess!!Thanks Cassidy,live your best life x
This reminds me of "love is color blind" as if you can love them out of a history of discrimination. I totally agree, to ignore my blackness is to ignore important context about me as a person. It's not all of me but we don't have to pretend it doesn't matter. What they are saying is, someone who has a disability is lovable to the degree their disability is able to be overlooked/has been normalized. Which is an unfair standard and the opposite of what they might be intending to say.
Thank you so much for adressing this!❤ I used to work.with blind people and I would allways hear kids wondering and parent shushing them not to look or to be heard. I would allways use those moment to nicely 'educate' parents and kids.
Sometimes people only see the disability in a disabled person but that doesn't mean the solution is to not see the disability at all
Spot on!! So hard finding people who see and accept both. Thanks for explaining it so well.
Just like " I don't see color" foolish statement.
You have expressed this very well. Tgank you
I love how she’s soo gorgeous and always knows what she has to do and makes great explanations
oh wow, as someone who is able bodied, thank you so much for this! that just wasn’t a reality i had thought about before
I love watching your channel. I've learned so much from you and I really appreciate you taking the time to educate people. Thank you! ❤
I really love how well you explained this, ignoring differences don't make them go away, and pretending that someone is exactly like you negates their experiences and needs.
I also really love how you embrace your disability as a part of you, it's really inspiring, as I -someone with a neurological disability- tend to avoid actually labeling myself as disabled because of the negative connotations of the word.
Thank you for your videos, they make a difference ❤
Absolutely sometimes I can do stuff and sometimes I can't and I can do things other people can't
This is explained so well!! You wanna see the disability and know that's it there. Know about what you have/had to go through and how to help you know, but not make it your entire personality and only seee your disability and not anything else.
Thank you! The idea that you would be the same person if you were not disabled is crazy
Totally agree! My disability and my struggles have shaped who I am. I don’t rise above my disability. I rise with it.
This!!! I want and NEED people to acknowledge that I don’t work the way they do, and I can be very disadvantaged at times, they have to see my disability in order to be properly accommodating and good partners in any sort of relationship! Love your content so much ❤
I know the person had good intentions in saying that but I love how you broke it down so well for them to understand the bigger picture
"If you don't see my disability, you don't see me" is so powerful ❤ I'm gonna remind myself that part of me is me and we all deserve to feel seen
Thank you, you really gave me a new perspective I needed now I can understand the lives of people with disabilities you are awesome 👏🏻
You summed it up perfectly!
If people ignored the disability, how would they be able to educate themselves? How would they know how to best support that disabled person? Ignoring the disability would mean ignoring signs that they need to be accommodated, and that they would need extra support in places that an abled person wouldn't need it. Deliberate ignorance is inconsideration.
Thank you for educating us. This was beautifully said. God bless Cassidy, her boyfriend, their love, and their loved ones. ☺️🫶🏼❤️💗🩷💖✨💕
You explained this so well! ❤
And it also explains why seeing ONLY someone’s disability means you’re not really seeing them.
Our disability is a part of us - past, present, and future.
But it’s not ALL we are. There are so many things about me that have nothing to do with my disability.
So don’t pretend my disability doesn’t exist. But also don’t act like my disability is all there is.
See the person and their disability, don't ignore the diability, and don't ignore that theyre a person
Thank you for this video .. I am disabled dysautonomia and neurological disorders and so much messaging is like “look past” disability.. which is so odd because these are things I live with, things I am, not things to be ignored 😐. I am so happy for you and your boyfriend ❤ I hope to have someone in my life like that some day 😊
I needed to hear this
I love how giggled you are when you are hanging with ur bf it's so wholesome, and y'all two are glowing 😸🥰
Y’all are so cute together ❤😊
It also feels similar to "omg it's okay I don't see race/skin colour" like.... you're wilfully ignoring a huge part of someone's whole *being* to ignore this part of us. Love your video!!
I think what a lot of people mean when saying 'I don't see disability' is 'while I acknowledge, accept and acommodate your disability, I won't factor it in while forming an opinion of you as a person'. It's just really hard to accurately express how I feel, because of course I see disabilities and understand that they affect your experience and story, but it's not more or less important to me than any other factor which makes up the person in front of me who I'm getting to know.
That is exactly what it means. This is what we should strive for as a society. However, some people want to be seen as special and different.
Imagine telling somebody “it’s okay, I don’t see your race. You’re white to me”
Every time I try correcting people with this mindset they always rely “BUT ITS A COMPLIMENT” yadda yadda. If a disabled person is straight up telling you it’s offensive maybe stop it
The way you smiled in the 9th clip ✨♥️
People need to think of disabled people as humans too and not as items
Thank you for the explanation I love your smile it's beautiful and heartwarming
To be honest for all of last year, I held this mindset. But then I met my friend who has dwarfism, and they completely changed my view on everything and I think it’s horrible that this even has to be explained especially because it’s not taught and so I love what are you and many other creators are doing on this platform, which is spreading awareness.
I totally agree with your response. My daughter is disabled with learning disabilities and a wonderful, beautiful young woman, just like you. Confidence and love are for everyone. Always be proud of who you are and how you got there!😍😍😍💝
You put this into words very well
Explained perfectly. It's like people saying they don't see color, when race shapes how you are perceived as you move through the world. If you ignore part of my story then you aren't really seeing me.
I love this explanation. It allowes you to live your best life with the body you have and the abilities you have. It allows your partner and friends recognize what your needs are and how to be the best possible people in your life. It makes the friendships and relationships so much more meaningfull.
Honestly, this really speaks to me. I have ADHD and it's very hurtful when people (mostly coworkers) don't make any attempt to understand me or my quirks and just get angry at me. I'm so open-minded and celebrate others differences. It never dawned on me but by not understanding the learning disabilities and daily struggles I have, it makes me not feel seen. So true!
Beautifully said. It is a part of us!
Disabled isn't a dirty/bad word! 💖
I’ve got a disability that you can’t see and it’s a struggle when people ask things of me that I can’t do and just think I’m being weird
Thank you for addressing this I appreciate it so much and I agree so much you have a beautiful story and it’s all important every little piece of it that makes you who you are ❤
Beautifully said!!
“i don’t see disability” to me is exactly like saying “i don’t see race.” they both are necessary parts of human diversity. :)
Especially feeling this as someone with an invisible disability
“Not seeing” also implies that disability is inherently a bad thing. Like if you saw it, you suddenly wouldn’t like them.
if you have to ignore someones disability/"see past it" to treat a disabled person well, that just means you see disability as something that would impede your respect for that person if you didn't block it out. Which means you have ableist mindsets to work through
people tend to choose one of two extremes. Either seeing the person but not the disability, or seeing the disability but not the person. Both mindsets cause harm
(note that me saying something is an ableist mindset isnt an attack. most people have ableist mindsets, bigotry is systemic you have to do active work to reverse that. its not a personal attack its just something to learn about)
This also goes for the "I don't see color" people. It is basically saying the SAME thing
This is such a good explanation!
disabilities are so impactful to someone's experience. its a lot of the reason that people dont always want a cure to their disabilities. yes, my disabilities have tons of negative effects on my life, but I would never choose to get rid of them because it would completely change who I am
Exactly, my disabilities have completely shaped my personality, if I didn’t have autism I wouldn’t act like how I do now, amd I love myself and how I act
Sometimes I can be really difficult but it’s also a part of us
Speechless ❤ i love how you explained this ❤️
This is such a helpful insight. ❤
This is actually an amazing way of putting it.
This is very much true! It's a HUGE struggle to be still in place or not be moving just due to my Tourettes or ADHD (Often need to be doing something) but when the times come for it to be the most important I just have to suck it up & push all of it back even if it means getting a tic attack.
Beautifully said ❤
Thank you so much for saying this! I'm also disabled, and the mindset that one should ignore someone's disability is actually more harmful.
It has the same vibes of saying one doesn't see color, it's really harmful and actually perpetuates racism by not acknowledging the struggles someone might face because of their race.
You are a legit warrior. Mind, body, and spirit. Rock on, sister!
maybe its just bc i watch a lot of your dog videos and never noticed but your smile is gorgeous!!!
I smile every time I see you 2 lovebirds ❤️. You guys are too cute.
Thank you for saying this, as an autistic person I may not be disabled like you but I still am disabled. I love your channel and the content on it, it's short and to the point which is perfect! I love the way you embrace your disability in your life. I also would like to point out how I love how you didn't bash the person at all and are just trying to teach
You are so proud of your self I wish I was as proud of myself like you are and I do not want to offend anyone
Exactly! Thank you!! ❤🙏
This is the equivalent of people who "don't see colour/race"
Like no, ignoring it doesn't make you more virtuous
Thank you for this, as a teen with disabilities I wish I had more role modles in my life like you❤
Well said. Thanks for the education ❤
Beautiful said. You are beautiful inside and out.
This is so intelligent. Thank you.
Wow thank you for such an amazing explanation
Same it’s okay we are different 😢
Beautifully stated.
I’m autistic and when people try to say “I see you for you not your disability.” I like to point out: that yes I am more than just an autistic person but if you ignore my autism you’re ignoring a pretty massive part as to who I am today. You can view me as more than just my disability while also still seeing my disability is part of why I am who I am.
Off topic, but her smile is so contagious.😁💜💜
I feel it's similar to when some people say they don't see race. Then how will you see racism? Very good stuff! Thanks for sharing
I love that you are staying positive throughout your disability I also have a mental disability and can you please give me any tips to stay positive throughout my disability
I feel like this is relatable to all us with disabilities, mental and fiscal,and hopefully understood by most without any disabilities too!
this is the same concept for why i roll my eyes when someone says "i don't see colour" like hey it's not a bad word! it's good to see the nuance of someone's experience that is different from your own ❤
I'm so happy for you. I'm visually impaired and I've had tons of guys I'm trying to get to know better lose interest when they find out. It's good to know they're not all that shallow. :(