I used to be such a social butterfly. I had no issue talking to new people in real life and online. But I went through really bad experiences in friendships that lowered my confidence and had me closed off to people and not being bothered to make new connections, or to just greet/have a simple chat with someone. I do value my alone time, but I’m really trying to work on gaining that confidence back and not blocking myself from making genuine connections with people, and remember that not everyone out there has bad intentions ☺️
me too bestie. I was a hermit when I was a teen though and I went through my social butterfly phase in my 20s and I think I'm reverting as I get older, and it's definitely an older person thing but I feel kind of ok with it lol
I wish people would put their phone down long enough to go outside and realize the world is not as bad and depressing as it seems in your phone! People are still riding bikes, kids are playing at parks, couples are boo'd up on benches, friends are having picnics in the grass! Just look up from your phone!
So true before covid it was pretty common in my friend groups to have at least one person who could never put their phone down so I imagine now its probably even worse 🤣🤣
The world is completely as bad and depressing as it is on the phone. I mean, everything costs more these days and there’s so much violence. However, can you go out and possibly make a friend and sit under a tree, sure Unfortunately, most hangout things costs money people do not have, but are there opportunities to make good things happen or to have a smile? Yes. The world is incredibly bad. Let’s not act like our phones aren’t just highlighting that.
@@j.m251 Life is about choices and waking up every day focusing on only the negativity of life is a choice! Finding love, peace, and comfort in the small things to keep yourself and love one's going is also a choice! Maybe where you're from life is terrible but here where I'm at I see a lot more people choosing happiness over chaos.
@@j.m251there are plenty of things in life you can do for free that are beautiful. Even a small walk through the trees or by a lake, paint some rocks or ride your bike. There will always be bad things in the world and there always have been, but life is worth living for a reason.
You can still do that but approaching random ppl is risky bc a lot of those ppl don't want to be approached and if they do engage in convo you end up carrying the whole conversation and then never see them again.
I know the stereotype is that introverts hate small talk, but I actually love SMALL friendly interaction. The hard part is finding people who match my level of desperation, complicated boundaries, unhinged interest, and delusion.
Yes. No one wants to make an effort and everyone looks at eachother like they have 3 heads and shit their pants 💀 no one makes themselves approachable but that’s also because we mirror what we are seeing from other people
I walked up to a guy smoking a cigar today at a car show, and we hit it off immediately and introduced me to his friend. He ended up being the general manager of the McLaren dealership, and after a little back and forth he handed me a cigar (I'm 24 but enjoy them regularly) and then his personal phone number. You just gotta go out of your way sometimes. To your point, I struck up conversations with a few other people my age today, around a *common* interest, and they acted like I was an alien.
@@digitalcamaro9708 yes exactly. Even when you make the effort people your (well my age) look at you crazy. And it’s so bizarre because humans are social creatures
I think a major part of it, at least for me personally, is exhaustion. Like, i'd love to do more in person, host boardgame nights or cute craft themed nights, or go out and do stuff, but like 1) im broke lol and 2) by the end of the day and week I'm so tired i dont have the energy to go out and interact with more people yk
In my experience, it’s a combination of this AND the illusion of connection and entertainment that social media and phone content (like games) give us. Since they give you such an easy dopamine hit and often rely on interacting with other users, it becomes a really really easy way to feel like you’re fulfilling those social and entertainment needs in a very low-energy way But it’s super unfulfilling, and you may start feeling depressed if you’re not meeting your social and entertainment needs in a real way sometimes, and it can be a vicious cycle. The depression makes you even more exhausted on top of the normal exhaustion, and you just kind of fold further and further into the phone dopamine hole. Or, at least, that’s what it’s like for me 😬
I really relate to this. I work nights at the hospital, 12hr shifts. I have to work 4 days a week in order to get a decent pay check. My first off day, all I can do is sleep. The next two days I catch up on all the chores. Clean the kitchen, do laundry, buy groceries, etc. I have to actively carve time out to hangout with friends and family. Usually, I only have time to hangout with either my best friend OR my partner's parents. To do this, usually, something doesn't get done like cleaning the bathroom or mowing the lawn. It's exhausting.
Its a hard balance. I used to work a lot 12hr shifts. Ive done flooring and warehouse work. Right now i work 2 jobs 7 days a week. I still help my fiance clean at home and i still after work will hang out with family or friends when im in between the two jobs or off. Not always sometimes i decide to go home and sleep. But im also used to working long hours like 8am to 3am typa hrs. Thats what i delt with in flooring. It depends on the kind of jobs you have too. The working class like labor workers have long hours and little pay, but if we dont do anything to entertain or relax you will get burnt out working and sleeping with no play or relax. Relaxing is the hardest and sometimes you dont get any rest but that social interaction can keep you sane@MadamPandaHero
@@MadamPandaHeroim not gonna lie I still break down and feel tired but then I remember I'm young and I won't want to do this later so I better find good skills now that will always have my back I'll always have a way to support myself if I build my different skill sets
You WOULD have the energy if you had nothing else to do. Like, now you can take your magic device and in a few clixks you’re getting entertained. If you didn’t have thr phone or wifi you’d much rather spend that time with your friends than doing chores or whatever.
Yes, I want so badly make new connections but the only places I can go rn are the places my mother goes.Turning 18 soon and when I get my license I'm going to be making connections left and right.Untill then you'll never catch me outside.
@@imuRgencyComing from a millennial, I love my alone time! So why socialize everytime I talked to someone I've always regretted it. Also people are so confusing and they Zapp alot of my energy. I love my peace.
I am very introverted, but I occasionally try to talk to people and they just ignore me. Funnily enough, the people who talk to me first throughout my life, have also been people who would listen to me. There doesn't seem to be anyone like that anymore. 😔😔😔
I had this same thing happen growing up. For awhile I could only make friends with people that approached me first bc any time I had tried with other people, they blew me off or ignored me. I’m less shy and quiet now but I still don’t go out of my way to ask people to hang out. I’m fine now spending more time with just family bc friends are hard to find/keep up with most of the time. Friends will get bored when you’re broke and can’t hang out or they’ll find someone else to be close to so I don’t take it as personal anymore
I’ve been struggling to make new friends after graduating from university in May but I’ve started to put myself out more as of not too long ago and it feels really good to have a social life again. I hope I make some new friends soon!
The normalisation of just recording people you see and posting it online is so unhealthy. I just saw yesterday someone posting a "funny" video of the view of their hotel room. It was just someone taking their dog for a walk. The dog was cute and carried a toy. When people pointed out that they were really creepy recording people and posting it online. People started jumping to their defence with "there's no expectation of privacy in public place" and "if I saw something weird, I'm going to record it". Again, it was just a regular woman, walking their regular dog, on hotels backyard. Nothing strange, nothing creepy, nothing unusual, except someone decided to record them from upstairs window and post it online without their knowledge.
I talk to people in real life. Especially with me being in college, it's harder to make friends since people already have their own "groups", which kinda sucks. I'm in clubs and activities around college, although I'm really shy, I still branch out and talk to people and it still fails. I'm in therapy but I think it's the sense of being exhausted. I'm working, in college, and focusing on my family. Who has the time? seems so draining.
The connection between the quarantine lockdowns, mixed with the rise of asocial and antisocial tendencies (from simply not wanting to interact to lashing out in very mean ways), the loneliness epidemic, the continual loss of third places and decrease in people feeling connected through community and the overall worsening of everyone’s mental health is simultaneously really interesting and very saddening. This whole situation feels kind of like a messed up social experiment that we have all been forced to take part in and have been living the consequences of for awhile. On a more personal note, over the past year I’ve really noticed how interacting more with my close family and my closest friend has had a noticeable positive impact on my mental health now that I finally feel ready to be out in the world and connect with others after years of isolating myself. I hope to continue that even as the weather gets colder. I also hope that others like me are seeing progress in their own personal journeys and that in the long run our experiences over the past several years will lead to us becoming more community oriented and creating more third places for ourselves.
I feel like safety is also such a big concern now, unfortunately you have to always be on guard with strangers.. maybe thats a fear I have more intensely than others though 🤣🤣🤣
I tried my best as a cashier, but it was so exhausting when I have the smile and converse with 10-20 people in a row within 1 hour during a rush and they weren’t good at giving us our breaks
Same, sometimes I get so busy or frazzled that I forget to say simple things like “hi.” It’s so exhausting because I could say hi to every customer in line, then accidentally forget to say hi to another single customer because my brain’s moving so fast, and then get yelled at as if I don’t usually say hi to customers. I don’t think a lot of customers realize that we see so many customers in one shift. Not every interaction will be the exact same, and they definitely won’t be perfect.
There is a saying i say multiple times. “The difference between introverts and extroverts is where they feel their battery charged, introverts charge by being alone and extroverts charge by being with people. What happened to me is that I was in the charger for so long without emptying my battery, that ruined mine” I really know i have big issue connecting with people but now it got more and more difficult because my battery is ruined due to the pandemic (and i was unemployed) i hope we can change our battery to a new one
*stares in autism* O_O i hate these conversations XD as it feels like for me in public places, i don’t meet anyone anyway. I can’t get to the places where people are with no transportation and i don’t have money to go to the places… i think thats the case for a lot of others (especially neurodivergent ones). in high school for my last two years i didn’t make any friends, or in college when i went either. i feel like i didn’t get the guidebook that everyone else got to social interactions. i’m also quite physically terrified of interacting with people as i cannot prepare a script in my head. i don’t know when or the correct way to try to befriend others irl… i dunno, there’s too many reasons to list for why interaction is extremely difficult for autistic people. just my 2 cents i guess, i hope everyone remembers their neurodiverse peers when making comments :)
As someone with a neurodiverse partner and as someone with mental illness, our solution has just been befriending other neurodiverse people lmao. I wish you luck in finding the connection you crave.
Eh, you can start by saying, "I'm autistic and a little weird." with a note of humor when you want to make friends. Most people will forgive and forget 99% of weird behaviour even if you don't say that. People are weird too, it's not exclusive to you. Find a hobby, a role play table, a game club etc.
As someone who has social anxiety and executive dysfunction issues, I can somewhat relate. It's best to find ppl through hobbies or interests if possible that would usually mean find a grp or club. Also when it comes to scripts, it's important to remember every get to know you script is basically the same or you should go about it the same. For me I keep like a list of talking points for this in my head. An example would be first convo, say hi, introduce yourself, get their name, get their age, find out hobbies/interests or passions, ask if they have pets, maybe see if they live in your city or near your neighborhood, get mini life update if convo lasts long. You can also add questions about school/career path or if they're married depending on how it goes.
Also what helped me, for my social anxiety was doing baby steps and also telling ppl about it right away so I would have to spend less time hiding it aka masking. As far as convos, just get used to approaching ppl who dress in a way you admire or have something you like, like if someone is walking around carrying a book you like you can strike up a convo about it or maybe just say something like, "That's a really good book, have you read it yet?".
This intro is 🔥🔥this vid came at a perfect time for me bc I realized I love making new connections so I signed myself up for cheerleading (again) at 25!😂
As an Ambivert who is what I call a 'Recovering Recluse', I think the biggest hurdle I have is the fact I'm just kind of afraid of people. Like, a couple years ago, I went to a gay nightclub, hoping to be social, but felt terrified to fo any socializing, because I assume I am percieved as a straight Cis-male (I am none of the above), and didn't want to bother anyone. Thankfully, a more social guy talked to me and there was a small group of us hanging out that night. In recent times, I have taken up volunteering at my local library, and that has yielded significantly better results. I have made a friend or two, will be working tue book sale this weekend, and even talked with one of the head honchos of the volunteer group and asked her if she could answer some questions about what a Masters of Library Science is like (something I am considering). We will be meeting in a couple weeks over coffee to talk book recommendations and what the experience was like. Also, my pertner is (hopefully)oving i. Soon, and I talk to them about EVERYTHING. Having someone physically here will do WONDERS. And I'll have someone to practice femininity with! :D I guess the lesson here is to find what works? I certainly feel more optomistic about my social prospects now than I did before, though I still have my aprehensions. Here's to hoping your girl THRIVES in 2025.❤ Also, great video as always. You always deliver.
That sounds good. Also sounds like you arranged an informational interview which is super helpful for networking or just figuring out if a career is right for you. I did a handful of those when I was in uni 😊.
As an introvert, I have mostly had customer service jobs and I honestly hate them. But that's not the customer's fault so I would always smile and greet them and help in any way I can because it's my job (and sometimes I make their day and it feels nice). The real problem is that it's hard to find a job that isn't that. I assume a good amount of people don't want to be in those customer service-type jobs, but there aren't many options besides those. But again, no excuse to not do the job you were hired to do.
This might sound very exaggerated, but I’m being 100% deadass frfr when I say in my 21 years of life I don’t think I’ve ever met irl another person who considered themselves an extrovert. I have met an OVERWHELMINGLY high amount of people who ARE self proclaimed introverts, homebodies, anti social. I feel like it has something to do with my age group, I’m gen z, WHERE ARE THE other 21 year olds who actually want to leave their houses!!! like this is my personal experience, but why does it feel like EVERY young adult, early 20’s peer in America introverted? Literally all of them 😭 like dude not a single one of you prefers to be social, hang out with friends, watch movies, and I know as young adults, we are all busy and broke, but I mean it seems like NO other 20-22 year old in America wants to LIVE and have friends! Unfortunately many of us don’t keep friends after high school, but then no one makes new ones? And we are all left with a few acquaintances from years ago who we hardly even text anymore, and we never leave the house. why is EVERYONE introverted.. we can’t all be introverts 😭I recently had to put myself out there literally, and it was a great experience! I was at a local annual summer festival type thing with music, food, games, beer, in my college town, so I went with my aunt and her boyfriend and broke off to get a beer at the beer tent, and I was like ah I lost her, so I’m kinda by myself. I went to a table of people who looked like they could go to the local college, so about my age, and introduced myself, asked if they went to the local college, some did I said I just wanted to hang out with people my own age, me and the whole group had some great conversations I met some really nice people :)) it’s not that hard in reality to do stuff like that. In our heads and hearts it might feel like the hardest thing in the world to put yourself out there like that, but you’ll never know if you don’t try!
Its so hard to make friends my age when so many just care about useless bullshit I have no interest in discussing lmaooo Older friends has been the solution.
People will isolate themselves from everyone, bury themselves in their own insecurities and problems, sit quietly in their struggle, they are not even trying to change anything and then complain about “loneliness epidemic”. And then when you’re trying to talk to people they will show with their whole being how uninterested and uninvested they are in talking to you. And then you think the problem is you. But no, people are just so lazy these days they find it “so mentally challenging” to even go outside. I understand that not everyone can afford to participate in socialising activities such as gym, art clubs and stuff but people spend so much time online. Majority of internet drama is just TikTok drama. Almost every commentary channel I watch starts their videos with “I saw this discussion on TikTok”… when you realise how many of these problems are not real you will feel the weight lifted off your chest. And suddenly the world isn’t that evil. All I’m trying to say is open your mind! Get help! Go outside! Don’t whine online.
You’ve literally made me feel so much better about this! I felt guilty about “quitting” on people that purposely push me away, but I’ve gotten to a point to where I can only do so much with these type of people because keeping them in my life gets very draining and makes me question my worth. I wish the best of luck for them, but I still need to choose me and accept that I’ve tried!
I’m starting to crave human touch and human interaction. I have a big family, so I’m constantly talking to them. But when it comes to complete strangers, this is where I struggle with keeping up in conversations or I tend to zone out in the middle of the conversation.
The loss of the formerly suffocating social obligations to be present at EVERY gathering at work or family life is a good thing overall. But I do wish that we had some balance. It feels like people have given in to instant gratification culture and decided that whenever they don't feel like going to something they'll just skip it. But I think they forget that 9 times out of 10 if you suck it up and go anyway you'll probably have a good time. If you like the people going you should push through and just do it. I've been doing it in my life and it definitely works. The only thing bringing me down is how many people cancel last minute or just don't respond to invites or try to be involved in anything at all. Humans are social creatures and we've somehow forgotten that. On a more political note, the loss of community makes it easier for us to be exploited. A workplace where no one is friends with their co-workers is a workplace that management can run with impunity because workers don't know information about each other and they are unlikely to unionise or push back collectively. The same goes for stuff at the local and national level. I know people are going to push back and say that their desire for social isolation is a result of late stage capitalism and being overworked and underpaid. But in many ways the causal link goes both ways. We let them trick us into giving up community for a chance at becoming rich during the Reagan and Thatcher era. We left unions and abandoned community groups for the suburbs. We raise our wages by moving company every two years instead of unionising and fighting back. So in many ways, part of the reason we're overworked and underpaid is precisely because we don't want to make those connections anymore! Edit: the thing about work is also so important. People spend a third of their entire lives at work! If you have no social life at work in any way then that might be how you like it but I know that would kill me. Imagine spending a third of your life doing hard boring work and not even having casual acquaintances to blow off steam with in the break room. Yes work relationships can be more dangerous. But no risk no reward.
honestly, i got tired of constantly spending all my money to be around people and places i genuinely did not care for. i realized a while back that i had a lot of friends i had never been sober around, i had a lot of friends who wouldn't even come unless they knew there would be substance or something to gain for themselves out of the social interaction. i just got tired of being taken advantage of by people who call me their friend
At the end of 2019, I made the decision to delete my Snapchat (which was my main source of social media and connection). I didn’t like “watching” people live their lives without actually talking to them. After taking a break from people in general for a few years, I am much more intentional with my friendships and I actively reach out to people and chat via text or FaceTime, and vice versa, and omg it is SOO much better! Not having a social media account to “keep up” with friends is the best thing I ever did. Now I actually talk to them. And if I don’t, atleast I know where our relationship stands. Social media creates this false sense of closeness. It feels good, but it’s not real. It’s equivalent to eating chips for dinner. You just feel unfulfilled. I’m glad I’m past that period in my life.
I deleted my twitter last year and started an indefinite break from tiktok a few months ago. I got tired of "watching" people as well but it was even worse because it was people I didn't even know. Although mentally I feel better because I don't scroll for hours, I never really had friends so I still feel stuck in this area. I decided i'd rather eat nothing for dinner than chips which sucks but it's reality I guess.
@@aielianna when I started becoming intentional with reaching out to friends, I meant old friends that I lost touch with. I highly recommend this if you can. A lot of people love hearing from someone they haven’t spoken to in years.
That's so weird to me. I keep snapchat bc no one has albums and posting a story is a choice that will only show for 24 hours. I don't have a lot of ppl on their but also there's times where my wifi is much stronger so I use that plus there's ppl who aren't near me I talk to and have streaks with. Some of these ppl would probably forget to reach out if we didn't have streaks going. The only other thing I have is telegram and since my snapchat ppl don't want to convert to that I keep snapchat but it is helpful to me 😊.
@@SS-cu8se I switched schools a lot so I don’t have people that I was super close with. I feel like the relationships I did have sort of already served their purpose because I am a completely different person than I was in those friendships. I get what you’re saying but I have kinda given up in that area.
I literally thought I had autism because of how difficult it is for me to socialize with people... and I've been thinking about this for the past 5 years. Maybe, I just have zero social skills because I have no friends, and it's hard for me to make friends because I have zero social skills. Idk what to do, I guess I just need to practice talking to strangers or something, like more small talk at the grocery store and stuff. Maybe I should try to find a hobby or something, so I have something I can passionately talk about in conversation when people ask "what are you up to lately?" or "what do you enjoy doing?", I don't want to tell them I'm a completely useless person who just sits all day watching videos because I don't have any friends to make plans with. LOL. youtube comment journaling... a classic. I've done it again.
I'm the same, for a few years now my biggest hobby has been watching YT videos and posting comments. I've been trying to start some hobbies again like reading and watching/reviewing movies. It's not a dramatic change but at least it's something outside of YT. Good luck to you~
I still say hi to random people out in public. I get ignored a lot 🤣 maybe they think I’m weird but I I don’t care. It’s weirder to walk by people on a hiking trail in total silence or to buy things at the store and not speak a word to the cashier. I don’t go out to make new friends all the time but I always try to be polite towards strangers and just be kind because I’ve worked customer service and often times in those jobs were just trying to hold ourselves together. I go to church and make small talk with people and it’s so easy there or at work, without making any commitments to hang out with people at either of those places. The only time I’m not talking to people in public is if I think they’re creepy/dangerous being weird from the start. I don’t like to be stuck inside all day anyway, however I have stopped trying to hang out with friends lately bc im broke and have been all year and I’m exhausted after work/socializing at work all day too.
You sound like a really nice person. I love when people say hi to me first because it makes it a bit easier for me to have more positive energy when I say hi. If I say hi first, I sound really timid because I don’t know how people will respond.😂 I have social anxiety and I’m trying to have better body language and make eye contact more. It’s a little bit easier saying hi to older people. A lot of people in my age group look like their cat was hit by a car or having RBF. I’m sure some of them are struggling too so I’m trying not to judge. At the same time, it makes me realize how miserable I was not having more positive energy.
Bars are not the only place to meet people. It just takes more effort to find activities where you can socialize more. It's not going to be easy. I have social and generalized anxiety disorder. I got really tired of saying “I can’t do it because I’m terrified of people.” Weight loss is sort of what kick started my willingness to get uncomfortable and start talking to people more. It’s still really hard and I find myself getting emotional about it still.
@@LLCoolJ_25 I know it's not the only place but it feels like everyone is too disconnected not just me so even like the gym is useless for socializing.. In my experience at least.. I tried
i don't talk to people because iv ben burned by humanity bullied for being gay bullied for being a type one diabetic bullied for being biracial no one but my partner an a few family members make me feel safe to talk to
I'm a younger millennial but I've definitely noticed a huge change in the culture of those just a few years younger than me. There's a lot of antisocial tendencies for sure that the internet and technology have seemed to normalize. Bullying is always a problem for younger generations but new advancements in tech have made it even more easier for people to choose hatred over genuine connection. Forging real connections takes time and I know there are other obstacles, too, but it's definitely true: technology and social media provide such instant gratification, kids now are used to having things now now now and it's addicting. They're allowed to be on their phones and laptops all day, even in school (just ten years ago when I went to school this was not a thing). There is less and less room for drawing healthy boundaries due to lack of regulation and younger ppl are so used to having a lot more that they seem to feel entitled to your space (hence filming ppl without permission, the rise in cell phone spying, etc.).
I love all of the global pandemic and quarantine. I had already established a virtual community group for older Gen Zers, therefore it came into glorious timing. I come from a shrinking family. For that period in life, i wasn't constantly the string puller in my relationships. When i do go out and attempt at socializing, 1000% goes in and I am the puppet master. It gets exhausting . I thought I found a solid group that consisted of two people, but a depression happened, I recovered. I reached out to both just to catch up nothing happened. I think about them everyday. I am naturally to myself in social settings,although my presence is lous, my social engagement is really quite and soft. It can be asocial. 😅 I joined in community based activities, its only been good for that, it never realky turnt to 1 or two people actually being a fruend, just someone I see at that particular activity.
On your note about folks on the bus can someone tell me if they’ve experienced this too? I’ve noticed lately people will be talking just loudly on the phone, particularly on the bus or public spaces in general and cars are very impatient when pedestrians are crossing the street. I’ll be middle of crossing the street and a car that needs to turn will speed past as soon as I’m out of hitting range and not wait for the turn light to turn.
As a Gen Z I am lonely but not because I’m antisocial. Where I live I’m THE ONLY young gay man I don’t have any gay friends. All of my male friends are straight and I dont have anyone to relate to. And I’m 20 so I really can’t do anything until next year. Not gonna lie I just stay in my room most of the time reading and watching tv. I would like to have a clique of friends but I have too much to worry about. I’m always at work as well. So that plays a huge part in my loneliness. I work all night shifts so by time I go to sleep I don’t wake up until 3-4 in the afternoon then I have to head right back to work. Also being the only young gay guy where I live I’ve had some situations with some creepy old men. I’m not looking for a relationship at all but I would like to have a best friend that I can hang out with and talk to.
So well said. I agree with every word. I’ve felt this way for the last few years and it is so validating to see the tide shift like this. There’s something to the boomer line “get off your phones” maybe without the smugness but we should get out and play. As a teacher I feel so old fashion because I’ve seen how awful phones and iPads are for learning and socializing.
Why should cashiers have to greet everyone if everyone is gonna ignore you n act like you didn’t say anything?that’s a waste of breath.. I speak when they need something that’s it no more friendly bs is waste of energy
Hearing that difficulties with socialising are increasing for young people kind of make me feel like finally I'm fitting with the trend at the moment, as a millennial who's always been super introverted and socially anxious 😅
i am a social introvert and i deal with loneliness. it is now going better, but i seriously hate how nobody around me really asks me out to do something. they are waitiing until i say something otherwise they don't. i'm tired of being the one to make hangout sessions. even if it isn't that then people around my age are just rude and rather stay on their phone. i tried to talk to people even though i am awkward. or to convince them to stay off their phone and talk to eachother. or to ask them to do smething but they declined everytime. i am so jealous of my (way) older sisters and my mother because they where being teens in a time where it was normal to be social. i do need to say that i am an european. we have a lot of homework to do or having a sidejob but this seems to me personal. also people need to stop saying that introversion = being anti-social. also i do have the feeling that a lot of introverts use their battery being empty as an excuse to not hang out.
Yes! YES! I have been finding it really hard to navigate college, trying to maintain a relationship with my best friend, and just talk about what I'm going through. And it's even harder being an ambivert and people not always understanding that my social battery fluctuates sometimes without warning, but I'm really trying to make an effort to just talk to people. I just want to be okay really.
For the love of god the antisocial refusal to use headphones in public is driving me insane. It’s so rude to force a subway car full of people listen to your violent video games-it’s bad enough to fear actually getting harmed in public which is a very real concern, but having to listen to screams and weapons, or even just bad music and TikToks without being able to even escape a moving vehicle, is so beyond irritating. It’s 2024-there has never in the history of the world been more headphones available for purchase. People refusing to use them are the worse.
i think for the first time in my life im not lonely. it took me getting kicked out of my mom's house i had no way to get to school, i didn't have a drivers license and my dad worked hectic hours. i ended up reaching out to a friend that i has grown apart from. since school started we've became best friends and hang out all the time. it's been so amazing to spend an hour everyday just talking.
Hmm, I’m an introvert who wants to be an extrovert and socialize more which I’m working on doing lol. However I also don’t want to talk to every single person and I feel like that should be respected. that there is just certain people on certain days that I just don’t want to interact. And people who feel entitled to talk/ wanting to interact with other people, that to me is a little weird. But I understand needing and wanting to talk to others.
The economy is a huge reason too though. Friends I hang with hang when we do something that is free such as playing sports or something. But to get a group to go out to eat or something is super less common because everything is too pricey
I try to make connections with people but they never put effort into conversations or, they have their own set friend group or we talk one day and never talk again. I’ve never really had friends that are MY friends, I’ve always been the “floater friend”. Always the one who talks too much but if I didn’t talk, who would? No one. People never really put effort into making conversation so I find it best to be by myself instead of feeling like a nuisance. But being a teenager with no friends is horrible, I hope and pray I find MY people someday.
As a Gen X (born in 1978) this makes me so sad. I was a supermarket cashier for 4 years in the 90s/00s and making small talk with the cutomers kept me sane. Also you also got to know your regular customers which was also nice. Maybe it's an Australian thing (I live in Melbourne) but in most cases all cashiers, waiters/service staff here makes small talk with customers - athough I also almost always make an effort to smile, ask how they are etc. so perhaps because I di that my experience is skewed. I also have very much noticed that Gen Z doesn't know how to make friends/community - what I see often this is because they seem to have very much romantisied friendship thinking that they are going to meet their bestie and they are going to be joined at the hip and this will happen very quickly - interestingly not so different from the fantasy of the one for a romantic relationship who will be your everything - we all know that's not real. Truth is friendship thaks time - sometimes years, and very rarely you'll find a friend that you will do everything with - you may frind a friend who likes to go dancing to they're your dancing buddy, you may have a friend who also owns a dog, so you walk your dogs together, you may have a friend who does crafty stuff so you meet at a cafe to knit. Friendship that time - lots of it and effort - lots of it. My tip delete the most toxic social media apps - Intagram and TikTok, I'm only on Facebook and UA-cam, also call people, instead of texting - it's amazing what a difference that will make.
I have this problem because I moved to many places when I was growing up and my parents were very strict so you would rarely see me outside except school, church, grocery stores, family "vacations", ect. Then I studied outside the US (with slow af, expensive internet) with my sister and without our parents being there. That reinforced us to learn how to socialize like a normal person because people still normally socialized there even after covid. Going back to the US reverted me back to my hermit phase since I still live with family but at least now I have some confidence, I can still hang out with a few highschool friends and I have my own job/money/can drive. Sadly the cause of this gen not socializing as much can also stem from toxic parenting and a lack of trust with society.
I think the main thing is a lot of people think that they have to be initiated. And also a lot of people act like texting doesnt matter but its a bit frustrating when i pay 25 dollars a month for a phone bill and the people who are apparently my "best buddies" hate texting.
Love that i was like number 143 ❤ this is a topic I've been thinking a lot about lately. I didn't realise just how much i missed and now crave the in-person interactions. It just hits different!
Idk there are things I disagree with. I think we forget our country suffered from the lock down- but something else happened. I hate to say it but, BLM. I live in the city and when the protests started, small Buisness were looted, destroyed, literally lit on fire. Baltimore City was on fire. DC, Seattle, LA, Oakland, st Louis were all going through the same thing! these old buildings are where most bars, clubs, shops, cafes where young people would hang out at- were destroyed beyond repair. The bars, clubs, restaurants etc. were abandoned because the country was locked down including insurance agents, contracters, banks. A few years later when these neighborhoods were clean, remodeled & reopene, it was too late. So many people were in the habit of being alone. But being from bmore city: the shift began after the protests ,u failed to mention anything about that
I hate to say it but the doomer behaviour started way before 2020. I know for your kind, BLM is not the reason for the isolation of an entire country. The so called looters did not "loot" and set ablaze every small business in the area you mentioned. I hate to say it but these entire States weren't on fire, those happened in very specific areas. What people like you fail to understand is that the number of buildings affected by the protest are public. I can assure you that all the Young person in America did not frequent those handful of buildings. This is an issue with most western countries by the way, so are the BLM protest (that did not happen) responsible for that as well? Lol This is not 4chan, or all those channels babes, you are in the wrong place.
I DO talk to people and strike up conversations, but every time I try, people look at me like *I'm* the weird one.
Me too!
As someone who suffered from autism, this hits the spot. Like I'm the weird one for opening up.
those are the bad apples don’t let them paint us all bad ❤
Same here!
SAY IT LOUDER.
I used to be such a social butterfly. I had no issue talking to new people in real life and online. But I went through really bad experiences in friendships that lowered my confidence and had me closed off to people and not being bothered to make new connections, or to just greet/have a simple chat with someone.
I do value my alone time, but I’m really trying to work on gaining that confidence back and not blocking myself from making genuine connections with people, and remember that not everyone out there has bad intentions ☺️
Literally same for me everything you've said😔
super relatable
Same. 😭
me too bestie. I was a hermit when I was a teen though and I went through my social butterfly phase in my 20s and I think I'm reverting as I get older, and it's definitely an older person thing but I feel kind of ok with it lol
@@wellbuttermybiscuits7
I wish people would put their phone down long enough to go outside and realize the world is not as bad and depressing as it seems in your phone! People are still riding bikes, kids are playing at parks, couples are boo'd up on benches, friends are having picnics in the grass! Just look up from your phone!
So true before covid it was pretty common in my friend groups to have at least one person who could never put their phone down so I imagine now its probably even worse 🤣🤣
The world is completely as bad and depressing as it is on the phone. I mean, everything costs more these days and there’s so much violence.
However, can you go out and possibly make a friend and sit under a tree, sure
Unfortunately, most hangout things costs money people do not have, but are there opportunities to make good things happen or to have a smile? Yes.
The world is incredibly bad. Let’s not act like our phones aren’t just highlighting that.
You sound jobless
@@j.m251 Life is about choices and waking up every day focusing on only the negativity of life is a choice! Finding love, peace, and comfort in the small things to keep yourself and love one's going is also a choice! Maybe where you're from life is terrible but here where I'm at I see a lot more people choosing happiness over chaos.
@@j.m251there are plenty of things in life you can do for free that are beautiful. Even a small walk through the trees or by a lake, paint some rocks or ride your bike. There will always be bad things in the world and there always have been, but life is worth living for a reason.
What ever happened to hello, how are you, my name is? What happened to that??
What are you, some kind of freak?? 😝
You can still do that but approaching random ppl is risky bc a lot of those ppl don't want to be approached and if they do engage in convo you end up carrying the whole conversation and then never see them again.
I know the stereotype is that introverts hate small talk, but I actually love SMALL friendly interaction. The hard part is finding people who match my level of desperation, complicated boundaries, unhinged interest, and delusion.
exactly
Real 😭
It's so hard in this generation because no one wants to make an effort
And because we don't trust each other
Yes. No one wants to make an effort and everyone looks at eachother like they have 3 heads and shit their pants 💀 no one makes themselves approachable but that’s also because we mirror what we are seeing from other people
This! Ppl don't want to make the effort, they want the relationships that require time and effort but don't want to put in the work.
I walked up to a guy smoking a cigar today at a car show, and we hit it off immediately and introduced me to his friend. He ended up being the general manager of the McLaren dealership, and after a little back and forth he handed me a cigar (I'm 24 but enjoy them regularly) and then his personal phone number. You just gotta go out of your way sometimes.
To your point, I struck up conversations with a few other people my age today, around a *common* interest, and they acted like I was an alien.
@@digitalcamaro9708 yes exactly. Even when you make the effort people your (well my age) look at you crazy. And it’s so bizarre because humans are social creatures
I think a major part of it, at least for me personally, is exhaustion. Like, i'd love to do more in person, host boardgame nights or cute craft themed nights, or go out and do stuff, but like 1) im broke lol and 2) by the end of the day and week I'm so tired i dont have the energy to go out and interact with more people yk
In my experience, it’s a combination of this AND the illusion of connection and entertainment that social media and phone content (like games) give us.
Since they give you such an easy dopamine hit and often rely on interacting with other users, it becomes a really really easy way to feel like you’re fulfilling those social and entertainment needs in a very low-energy way
But it’s super unfulfilling, and you may start feeling depressed if you’re not meeting your social and entertainment needs in a real way sometimes, and it can be a vicious cycle. The depression makes you even more exhausted on top of the normal exhaustion, and you just kind of fold further and further into the phone dopamine hole.
Or, at least, that’s what it’s like for me 😬
I really relate to this. I work nights at the hospital, 12hr shifts. I have to work 4 days a week in order to get a decent pay check. My first off day, all I can do is sleep. The next two days I catch up on all the chores. Clean the kitchen, do laundry, buy groceries, etc. I have to actively carve time out to hangout with friends and family. Usually, I only have time to hangout with either my best friend OR my partner's parents. To do this, usually, something doesn't get done like cleaning the bathroom or mowing the lawn. It's exhausting.
Its a hard balance. I used to work a lot 12hr shifts. Ive done flooring and warehouse work. Right now i work 2 jobs 7 days a week. I still help my fiance clean at home and i still after work will hang out with family or friends when im in between the two jobs or off. Not always sometimes i decide to go home and sleep. But im also used to working long hours like 8am to 3am typa hrs. Thats what i delt with in flooring. It depends on the kind of jobs you have too. The working class like labor workers have long hours and little pay, but if we dont do anything to entertain or relax you will get burnt out working and sleeping with no play or relax. Relaxing is the hardest and sometimes you dont get any rest but that social interaction can keep you sane@MadamPandaHero
@@MadamPandaHeroim not gonna lie I still break down and feel tired but then I remember I'm young and I won't want to do this later so I better find good skills now that will always have my back I'll always have a way to support myself if I build my different skill sets
You WOULD have the energy if you had nothing else to do. Like, now you can take your magic device and in a few clixks you’re getting entertained. If you didn’t have thr phone or wifi you’d much rather spend that time with your friends than doing chores or whatever.
The problem is the people are not usually in their desired communities & don't have the means of getting there
yea this ,_,
Yes, I want so badly make new connections but the only places I can go rn are the places my mother goes.Turning 18 soon and when I get my license I'm going to be making connections left and right.Untill then you'll never catch me outside.
get new hobbies, be shaped by the people around you idk
@@deepstblu3saaaame 😂 wish us luck
My broke azz can't get a car and I live in the suburbs with family, so this hits deep.
The intro is insane 😭😭😂
LMFAOOOOO thank you 🤣
@@imuRgency I'm LIVING for your new intros they always makes me crack up
@@imuRgencyComing from a millennial, I love my alone time! So why socialize everytime I talked to someone I've always regretted it. Also people are so confusing and they Zapp alot of my energy. I love my peace.
I am very introverted, but I occasionally try to talk to people and they just ignore me. Funnily enough, the people who talk to me first throughout my life, have also been people who would listen to me.
There doesn't seem to be anyone like that anymore. 😔😔😔
I had this same thing happen growing up. For awhile
I could only make friends with people that approached me first bc any time I had tried with other people, they blew me off or ignored me. I’m less shy and quiet now but I still don’t go out of my way to ask people to hang out. I’m fine now spending more time with just family bc friends are hard to find/keep up with most of the time. Friends will get bored when you’re broke and can’t hang out or they’ll find someone else to be close to so I don’t take it as personal anymore
@@fallenpieces7 I don't have family. They're all dead. I'm literally alone.
@@TaraTara-ld2xb I’m sorry to hear that!
I’ve been struggling to make new friends after graduating from university in May but I’ve started to put myself out more as of not too long ago and it feels really good to have a social life again. I hope I make some new friends soon!
The normalisation of just recording people you see and posting it online is so unhealthy. I just saw yesterday someone posting a "funny" video of the view of their hotel room. It was just someone taking their dog for a walk. The dog was cute and carried a toy. When people pointed out that they were really creepy recording people and posting it online. People started jumping to their defence with "there's no expectation of privacy in public place" and "if I saw something weird, I'm going to record it". Again, it was just a regular woman, walking their regular dog, on hotels backyard. Nothing strange, nothing creepy, nothing unusual, except someone decided to record them from upstairs window and post it online without their knowledge.
Please continue to call these weirdos out! This behavior is simply unacceptable 🙄
I talk to people in real life. Especially with me being in college, it's harder to make friends since people already have their own "groups", which kinda sucks. I'm in clubs and activities around college, although I'm really shy, I still branch out and talk to people and it still fails. I'm in therapy but I think it's the sense of being exhausted. I'm working, in college, and focusing on my family. Who has the time? seems so draining.
girl same. i'm a freshman in college and i wouldn't even say i'm shy or introverted! people just don't want to talk anymore lol
lol I’m in college it gets better
@@Winner01562 I know I know, just speaking 😭
@@deborahanth3672 I feel ya!!
The connection between the quarantine lockdowns, mixed with the rise of asocial and antisocial tendencies (from simply not wanting to interact to lashing out in very mean ways), the loneliness epidemic, the continual loss of third places and decrease in people feeling connected through community and the overall worsening of everyone’s mental health is simultaneously really interesting and very saddening. This whole situation feels kind of like a messed up social experiment that we have all been forced to take part in and have been living the consequences of for awhile.
On a more personal note, over the past year I’ve really noticed how interacting more with my close family and my closest friend has had a noticeable positive impact on my mental health now that I finally feel ready to be out in the world and connect with others after years of isolating myself. I hope to continue that even as the weather gets colder. I also hope that others like me are seeing progress in their own personal journeys and that in the long run our experiences over the past several years will lead to us becoming more community oriented and creating more third places for ourselves.
I feel like safety is also such a big concern now, unfortunately you have to always be on guard with strangers.. maybe thats a fear I have more intensely than others though 🤣🤣🤣
Especially for women because men think you're flirting with them and sometimes become creeps
That intro made my wig float off like I'm watching it float away right now
I tried my best as a cashier, but it was so exhausting when I have the smile and converse with 10-20 people in a row within 1 hour during a rush and they weren’t good at giving us our breaks
Same, sometimes I get so busy or frazzled that I forget to say simple things like “hi.” It’s so exhausting because I could say hi to every customer in line, then accidentally forget to say hi to another single customer because my brain’s moving so fast, and then get yelled at as if I don’t usually say hi to customers. I don’t think a lot of customers realize that we see so many customers in one shift. Not every interaction will be the exact same, and they definitely won’t be perfect.
@@goodgrieficarus1217 exactlyyyy
For real. I try at minimum great everyone but some days I'm just tired and may forget to say hi.
There is a saying i say multiple times. “The difference between introverts and extroverts is where they feel their battery charged, introverts charge by being alone and extroverts charge by being with people. What happened to me is that I was in the charger for so long without emptying my battery, that ruined mine”
I really know i have big issue connecting with people but now it got more and more difficult because my battery is ruined due to the pandemic (and i was unemployed) i hope we can change our battery to a new one
*stares in autism* O_O
i hate these conversations XD as it feels like for me in public places, i don’t meet anyone anyway. I can’t get to the places where people are with no transportation and i don’t have money to go to the places… i think thats the case for a lot of others (especially neurodivergent ones). in high school for my last two years i didn’t make any friends, or in college when i went either. i feel like i didn’t get the guidebook that everyone else got to social interactions. i’m also quite physically terrified of interacting with people as i cannot prepare a script in my head. i don’t know when or the correct way to try to befriend others irl… i dunno, there’s too many reasons to list for why interaction is extremely difficult for autistic people. just my 2 cents i guess, i hope everyone remembers their neurodiverse peers when making comments :)
As someone with a neurodiverse partner and as someone with mental illness, our solution has just been befriending other neurodiverse people lmao. I wish you luck in finding the connection you crave.
Eh, you can start by saying, "I'm autistic and a little weird." with a note of humor when you want to make friends.
Most people will forgive and forget 99% of weird behaviour even if you don't say that. People are weird too, it's not exclusive to you.
Find a hobby, a role play table, a game club etc.
As someone who has social anxiety and executive dysfunction issues, I can somewhat relate. It's best to find ppl through hobbies or interests if possible that would usually mean find a grp or club. Also when it comes to scripts, it's important to remember every get to know you script is basically the same or you should go about it the same. For me I keep like a list of talking points for this in my head. An example would be first convo, say hi, introduce yourself, get their name, get their age, find out hobbies/interests or passions, ask if they have pets, maybe see if they live in your city or near your neighborhood, get mini life update if convo lasts long. You can also add questions about school/career path or if they're married depending on how it goes.
Also what helped me, for my social anxiety was doing baby steps and also telling ppl about it right away so I would have to spend less time hiding it aka masking. As far as convos, just get used to approaching ppl who dress in a way you admire or have something you like, like if someone is walking around carrying a book you like you can strike up a convo about it or maybe just say something like, "That's a really good book, have you read it yet?".
This intro is 🔥🔥this vid came at a perfect time for me bc I realized I love making new connections so I signed myself up for cheerleading (again) at 25!😂
The problem is people automatically deeming you to be "weird" when you try to talk to them.
Saying “Young people and Gen Z” makes my 2002 self feel old af
idk why i did that bc i def gave myself a complex too
Try 1998 lol. I'm a relic
As an Ambivert who is what I call a 'Recovering Recluse', I think the biggest hurdle I have is the fact I'm just kind of afraid of people.
Like, a couple years ago, I went to a gay nightclub, hoping to be social, but felt terrified to fo any socializing, because I assume I am percieved as a straight Cis-male (I am none of the above), and didn't want to bother anyone. Thankfully, a more social guy talked to me and there was a small group of us hanging out that night.
In recent times, I have taken up volunteering at my local library, and that has yielded significantly better results.
I have made a friend or two, will be working tue book sale this weekend, and even talked with one of the head honchos of the volunteer group and asked her if she could answer some questions about what a Masters of Library Science is like (something I am considering).
We will be meeting in a couple weeks over coffee to talk book recommendations and what the experience was like.
Also, my pertner is (hopefully)oving i. Soon, and I talk to them about EVERYTHING. Having someone physically here will do WONDERS. And I'll have someone to practice femininity with! :D
I guess the lesson here is to find what works? I certainly feel more optomistic about my social prospects now than I did before, though I still have my aprehensions.
Here's to hoping your girl THRIVES in 2025.❤
Also, great video as always. You always deliver.
That sounds good. Also sounds like you arranged an informational interview which is super helpful for networking or just figuring out if a career is right for you. I did a handful of those when I was in uni 😊.
As an introvert, I have mostly had customer service jobs and I honestly hate them. But that's not the customer's fault so I would always smile and greet them and help in any way I can because it's my job (and sometimes I make their day and it feels nice). The real problem is that it's hard to find a job that isn't that. I assume a good amount of people don't want to be in those customer service-type jobs, but there aren't many options besides those. But again, no excuse to not do the job you were hired to do.
We are wayyyyy too car centric and sprawled, this I think, is one of the major factors.
I’m literally autistic but was consistently told I had great social skills in high school because I would greet and talk to everyone…
This might sound very exaggerated, but I’m being 100% deadass frfr when I say in my 21 years of life I don’t think I’ve ever met irl another person who considered themselves an extrovert. I have met an OVERWHELMINGLY high amount of people who ARE self proclaimed introverts, homebodies, anti social. I feel like it has something to do with my age group, I’m gen z, WHERE ARE THE other 21 year olds who actually want to leave their houses!!! like this is my personal experience, but why does it feel like EVERY young adult, early 20’s peer in America introverted? Literally all of them 😭 like dude not a single one of you prefers to be social, hang out with friends, watch movies, and I know as young adults, we are all busy and broke, but I mean it seems like NO other 20-22 year old in America wants to LIVE and have friends! Unfortunately many of us don’t keep friends after high school, but then no one makes new ones? And we are all left with a few acquaintances from years ago who we hardly even text anymore, and we never leave the house. why is EVERYONE introverted.. we can’t all be introverts 😭I recently had to put myself out there literally, and it was a great experience! I was at a local annual summer festival type thing with music, food, games, beer, in my college town, so I went with my aunt and her boyfriend and broke off to get a beer at the beer tent, and I was like ah I lost her, so I’m kinda by myself. I went to a table of people who looked like they could go to the local college, so about my age, and introduced myself, asked if they went to the local college, some did I said I just wanted to hang out with people my own age, me and the whole group had some great conversations I met some really nice people :)) it’s not that hard in reality to do stuff like that. In our heads and hearts it might feel like the hardest thing in the world to put yourself out there like that, but you’ll never know if you don’t try!
Its so hard to make friends my age when so many just care about useless bullshit I have no interest in discussing lmaooo
Older friends has been the solution.
Being social and extroverted is in? 😂😂😂*laughs in introvert*
I didn’t get the memo lol
same
People will isolate themselves from everyone, bury themselves in their own insecurities and problems, sit quietly in their struggle, they are not even trying to change anything and then complain about “loneliness epidemic”. And then when you’re trying to talk to people they will show with their whole being how uninterested and uninvested they are in talking to you. And then you think the problem is you. But no, people are just so lazy these days they find it “so mentally challenging” to even go outside. I understand that not everyone can afford to participate in socialising activities such as gym, art clubs and stuff but people spend so much time online. Majority of internet drama is just TikTok drama. Almost every commentary channel I watch starts their videos with “I saw this discussion on TikTok”… when you realise how many of these problems are not real you will feel the weight lifted off your chest. And suddenly the world isn’t that evil. All I’m trying to say is open your mind! Get help! Go outside! Don’t whine online.
You’ve literally made me feel so much better about this! I felt guilty about “quitting” on people that purposely push me away, but I’ve gotten to a point to where I can only do so much with these type of people because keeping them in my life gets very draining and makes me question my worth. I wish the best of luck for them, but I still need to choose me and accept that I’ve tried!
I’m starting to crave human touch and human interaction. I have a big family, so I’m constantly talking to them. But when it comes to complete strangers, this is where I struggle with keeping up in conversations or I tend to zone out in the middle of the conversation.
The loss of the formerly suffocating social obligations to be present at EVERY gathering at work or family life is a good thing overall. But I do wish that we had some balance. It feels like people have given in to instant gratification culture and decided that whenever they don't feel like going to something they'll just skip it. But I think they forget that 9 times out of 10 if you suck it up and go anyway you'll probably have a good time. If you like the people going you should push through and just do it. I've been doing it in my life and it definitely works. The only thing bringing me down is how many people cancel last minute or just don't respond to invites or try to be involved in anything at all. Humans are social creatures and we've somehow forgotten that.
On a more political note, the loss of community makes it easier for us to be exploited. A workplace where no one is friends with their co-workers is a workplace that management can run with impunity because workers don't know information about each other and they are unlikely to unionise or push back collectively. The same goes for stuff at the local and national level. I know people are going to push back and say that their desire for social isolation is a result of late stage capitalism and being overworked and underpaid. But in many ways the causal link goes both ways. We let them trick us into giving up community for a chance at becoming rich during the Reagan and Thatcher era. We left unions and abandoned community groups for the suburbs. We raise our wages by moving company every two years instead of unionising and fighting back. So in many ways, part of the reason we're overworked and underpaid is precisely because we don't want to make those connections anymore!
Edit: the thing about work is also so important. People spend a third of their entire lives at work! If you have no social life at work in any way then that might be how you like it but I know that would kill me. Imagine spending a third of your life doing hard boring work and not even having casual acquaintances to blow off steam with in the break room. Yes work relationships can be more dangerous. But no risk no reward.
Spot on 🎯🎯🎯
Social media is the McDonalds of social interaction - a quick fix via parasociality instead of a real meal of getting coffee with a friend.
honestly, i got tired of constantly spending all my money to be around people and places i genuinely did not care for. i realized a while back that i had a lot of friends i had never been sober around, i had a lot of friends who wouldn't even come unless they knew there would be substance or something to gain for themselves out of the social interaction. i just got tired of being taken advantage of by people who call me their friend
At the end of 2019, I made the decision to delete my Snapchat (which was my main source of social media and connection). I didn’t like “watching” people live their lives without actually talking to them. After taking a break from people in general for a few years, I am much more intentional with my friendships and I actively reach out to people and chat via text or FaceTime, and vice versa, and omg it is SOO much better! Not having a social media account to “keep up” with friends is the best thing I ever did. Now I actually talk to them. And if I don’t, atleast I know where our relationship stands. Social media creates this false sense of closeness. It feels good, but it’s not real. It’s equivalent to eating chips for dinner. You just feel unfulfilled. I’m glad I’m past that period in my life.
I deleted my twitter last year and started an indefinite break from tiktok a few months ago. I got tired of "watching" people as well but it was even worse because it was people I didn't even know. Although mentally I feel better because I don't scroll for hours, I never really had friends so I still feel stuck in this area. I decided i'd rather eat nothing for dinner than chips which sucks but it's reality I guess.
@@aielianna when I started becoming intentional with reaching out to friends, I meant old friends that I lost touch with. I highly recommend this if you can. A lot of people love hearing from someone they haven’t spoken to in years.
That's so weird to me. I keep snapchat bc no one has albums and posting a story is a choice that will only show for 24 hours. I don't have a lot of ppl on their but also there's times where my wifi is much stronger so I use that plus there's ppl who aren't near me I talk to and have streaks with. Some of these ppl would probably forget to reach out if we didn't have streaks going. The only other thing I have is telegram and since my snapchat ppl don't want to convert to that I keep snapchat but it is helpful to me 😊.
@@SS-cu8se I switched schools a lot so I don’t have people that I was super close with. I feel like the relationships I did have sort of already served their purpose because I am a completely different person than I was in those friendships. I get what you’re saying but I have kinda given up in that area.
I literally thought I had autism because of how difficult it is for me to socialize with people... and I've been thinking about this for the past 5 years. Maybe, I just have zero social skills because I have no friends, and it's hard for me to make friends because I have zero social skills. Idk what to do, I guess I just need to practice talking to strangers or something, like more small talk at the grocery store and stuff. Maybe I should try to find a hobby or something, so I have something I can passionately talk about in conversation when people ask "what are you up to lately?" or "what do you enjoy doing?", I don't want to tell them I'm a completely useless person who just sits all day watching videos because I don't have any friends to make plans with. LOL. youtube comment journaling... a classic. I've done it again.
I'm the same, for a few years now my biggest hobby has been watching YT videos and posting comments. I've been trying to start some hobbies again like reading and watching/reviewing movies. It's not a dramatic change but at least it's something outside of YT. Good luck to you~
I still say hi to random people out in public. I get ignored a lot 🤣 maybe they think I’m weird but I I don’t care. It’s weirder to walk by people on a hiking trail in total silence or to buy things at the store and not speak a word to the cashier. I don’t go out to make new friends all the time but I always try to be polite towards strangers and just be kind because I’ve worked customer service and often times in those jobs were just trying to hold ourselves together.
I go to church and make small talk with people and it’s so easy there or at work, without making any commitments to hang out with people at either of those places.
The only time I’m not talking to people in public is if I think they’re creepy/dangerous being weird from the start.
I don’t like to be stuck inside all day anyway, however I have stopped trying to hang out with friends lately bc im broke and have been all year and I’m exhausted after work/socializing at work all day too.
You sound like a really nice person. I love when people say hi to me first because it makes it a bit easier for me to have more positive energy when I say hi. If I say hi first, I sound really timid because I don’t know how people will respond.😂 I have social anxiety and I’m trying to have better body language and make eye contact more. It’s a little bit easier saying hi to older people. A lot of people in my age group look like their cat was hit by a car or having RBF. I’m sure some of them are struggling too so I’m trying not to judge. At the same time, it makes me realize how miserable I was not having more positive energy.
i no longer sympathize with people crying and complaining when they want to put ZERO EFFORT in meeting new friends.
I mean where the hell am I supposed to meet new people? At a bar? No thanks..
Try socializing with severe depression and anxiety
Bars are not the only place to meet people. It just takes more effort to find activities where you can socialize more. It's not going to be easy. I have social and generalized anxiety disorder. I got really tired of saying “I can’t do it because I’m terrified of people.” Weight loss is sort of what kick started my willingness to get uncomfortable and start talking to people more. It’s still really hard and I find myself getting emotional about it still.
@@LLCoolJ_25 I know it's not the only place but it feels like everyone is too disconnected not just me so even like the gym is useless for socializing..
In my experience at least.. I tried
i don't talk to people because iv ben burned by humanity bullied for being gay bullied for being a type one diabetic bullied for being biracial no one but my partner an a few family members make me feel safe to talk to
I'm a younger millennial but I've definitely noticed a huge change in the culture of those just a few years younger than me. There's a lot of antisocial tendencies for sure that the internet and technology have seemed to normalize. Bullying is always a problem for younger generations but new advancements in tech have made it even more easier for people to choose hatred over genuine connection. Forging real connections takes time and I know there are other obstacles, too, but it's definitely true: technology and social media provide such instant gratification, kids now are used to having things now now now and it's addicting. They're allowed to be on their phones and laptops all day, even in school (just ten years ago when I went to school this was not a thing).
There is less and less room for drawing healthy boundaries due to lack of regulation and younger ppl are so used to having a lot more that they seem to feel entitled to your space (hence filming ppl without permission, the rise in cell phone spying, etc.).
I love all of the global pandemic and quarantine. I had already established a virtual community group for older Gen Zers, therefore it came into glorious timing. I come from a shrinking family. For that period in life, i wasn't constantly the string puller in my relationships. When i do go out and attempt at socializing, 1000% goes in and I am the puppet master. It gets exhausting .
I thought I found a solid group that consisted of two people, but a depression happened, I recovered. I reached out to both just to catch up nothing happened. I think about them everyday.
I am naturally to myself in social settings,although my presence is lous, my social engagement is really quite and soft. It can be asocial. 😅
I joined in community based activities, its only been good for that, it never realky turnt to 1 or two people actually being a fruend, just someone I see at that particular activity.
On your note about folks on the bus can someone tell me if they’ve experienced this too?
I’ve noticed lately people will be talking just loudly on the phone, particularly on the bus or public spaces in general and cars are very impatient when pedestrians are crossing the street. I’ll be middle of crossing the street and a car that needs to turn will speed past as soon as I’m out of hitting range and not wait for the turn light to turn.
Omg, I’ve cussed out so many drivers, I probably look bat shit to people.😭 But like…they’re trying to kill me!!
3:20 your videos make my food taste better thank you!!
As a Gen Z I am lonely but not because I’m antisocial. Where I live I’m THE ONLY young gay man I don’t have any gay friends. All of my male friends are straight and I dont have anyone to relate to. And I’m 20 so I really can’t do anything until next year. Not gonna lie I just stay in my room most of the time reading and watching tv. I would like to have a clique of friends but I have too much to worry about. I’m always at work as well. So that plays a huge part in my loneliness. I work all night shifts so by time I go to sleep I don’t wake up until 3-4 in the afternoon then I have to head right back to work. Also being the only young gay guy where I live I’ve had some situations with some creepy old men. I’m not looking for a relationship at all but I would like to have a best friend that I can hang out with and talk to.
So well said. I agree with every word. I’ve felt this way for the last few years and it is so validating to see the tide shift like this.
There’s something to the boomer line “get off your phones” maybe without the smugness but we should get out and play. As a teacher I feel so old fashion because I’ve seen how awful phones and iPads are for learning and socializing.
Why should cashiers have to greet everyone if everyone is gonna ignore you n act like you didn’t say anything?that’s a waste of breath.. I speak when they need something that’s it no more friendly bs is waste of energy
Hearing that difficulties with socialising are increasing for young people kind of make me feel like finally I'm fitting with the trend at the moment, as a millennial who's always been super introverted and socially anxious 😅
The best option is be homeless I swea that shit gets you talking with other homeless people because I’m doing it right now or do customer service jobs
i am a social introvert and i deal with loneliness. it is now going better, but i seriously hate how nobody around me really asks me out to do something. they are waitiing until i say something otherwise they don't. i'm tired of being the one to make hangout sessions. even if it isn't that then people around my age are just rude and rather stay on their phone. i tried to talk to people even though i am awkward. or to convince them to stay off their phone and talk to eachother. or to ask them to do smething but they declined everytime. i am so jealous of my (way) older sisters and my mother because they where being teens in a time where it was normal to be social.
i do need to say that i am an european. we have a lot of homework to do or having a sidejob but this seems to me personal. also people need to stop saying that introversion = being anti-social. also i do have the feeling that a lot of introverts use their battery being empty as an excuse to not hang out.
sometimes i am being alone for such a long time that i don't know how to be social. it sucks truly
Yes! YES! I have been finding it really hard to navigate college, trying to maintain a relationship with my best friend, and just talk about what I'm going through. And it's even harder being an ambivert and people not always understanding that my social battery fluctuates sometimes without warning, but I'm really trying to make an effort to just talk to people. I just want to be okay really.
For the love of god the antisocial refusal to use headphones in public is driving me insane. It’s so rude to force a subway car full of people listen to your violent video games-it’s bad enough to fear actually getting harmed in public which is a very real concern, but having to listen to screams and weapons, or even just bad music and TikToks without being able to even escape a moving vehicle, is so beyond irritating. It’s 2024-there has never in the history of the world been more headphones available for purchase. People refusing to use them are the worse.
i think for the first time in my life im not lonely. it took me getting kicked out of my mom's house
i had no way to get to school, i didn't have a drivers license and my dad worked hectic hours. i ended up reaching out to a friend that i has grown apart from. since school started we've became best friends and hang out all the time. it's been so amazing to spend an hour everyday just talking.
Unfortunately, people still don't understand what introversion and being an introvert really is. 😮💨 😞
Please please could you review Netflix's Dead Boy Detectives next! ❤
Hmm, I’m an introvert who wants to be an extrovert and socialize more which I’m working on doing lol. However I also don’t want to talk to every single person and I feel like that should be respected. that there is just certain people on certain days that I just don’t want to interact. And people who feel entitled to talk/ wanting to interact with other people, that to me is a little weird. But I understand needing and wanting to talk to others.
The economy is a huge reason too though. Friends I hang with hang when we do something that is free such as playing sports or something. But to get a group to go out to eat or something is super less common because everything is too pricey
Cool advice but what 3rd place am I supposed to do that in they got rid of them all besides I’m too busy working so I don’t starve to hang out
3:13 yes my bowl of pasta tastes good, (*ˊᗜˋ*)ᵗᑋᵃᐢᵏ ᵞᵒᵘ
anyone wanna be friends? =)
5 seconds into the skit wnd i’m already dying 😂😂😂
Gen Z??? Pssh, this is hitting Millennials too
Gen Z is more likely to attend church today. Humans were made for community.
Hehe i AM eating
I try to make connections with people but they never put effort into conversations or, they have their own set friend group or we talk one day and never talk again. I’ve never really had friends that are MY friends, I’ve always been the “floater friend”. Always the one who talks too much but if I didn’t talk, who would? No one. People never really put effort into making conversation so I find it best to be by myself instead of feeling like a nuisance. But being a teenager with no friends is horrible, I hope and pray I find MY people someday.
As a Gen X (born in 1978) this makes me so sad. I was a supermarket cashier for 4 years in the 90s/00s and making small talk with the cutomers kept me sane. Also you also got to know your regular customers which was also nice. Maybe it's an Australian thing (I live in Melbourne) but in most cases all cashiers, waiters/service staff here makes small talk with customers - athough I also almost always make an effort to smile, ask how they are etc. so perhaps because I di that my experience is skewed. I also have very much noticed that Gen Z doesn't know how to make friends/community - what I see often this is because they seem to have very much romantisied friendship thinking that they are going to meet their bestie and they are going to be joined at the hip and this will happen very quickly - interestingly not so different from the fantasy of the one for a romantic relationship who will be your everything - we all know that's not real. Truth is friendship thaks time - sometimes years, and very rarely you'll find a friend that you will do everything with - you may frind a friend who likes to go dancing to they're your dancing buddy, you may have a friend who also owns a dog, so you walk your dogs together, you may have a friend who does crafty stuff so you meet at a cafe to knit. Friendship that time - lots of it and effort - lots of it. My tip delete the most toxic social media apps - Intagram and TikTok, I'm only on Facebook and UA-cam, also call people, instead of texting - it's amazing what a difference that will make.
I have this problem because I moved to many places when I was growing up and my parents were very strict so you would rarely see me outside except school, church, grocery stores, family "vacations", ect. Then I studied outside the US (with slow af, expensive internet) with my sister and without our parents being there. That reinforced us to learn how to socialize like a normal person because people still normally socialized there even after covid. Going back to the US reverted me back to my hermit phase since I still live with family but at least now I have some confidence, I can still hang out with a few highschool friends and I have my own job/money/can drive. Sadly the cause of this gen not socializing as much can also stem from toxic parenting and a lack of trust with society.
I think the main thing is a lot of people think that they have to be initiated. And also a lot of people act like texting doesnt matter but its a bit frustrating when i pay 25 dollars a month for a phone bill and the people who are apparently my "best buddies" hate texting.
omg get outta my businessssss! (eating a bowl of cereal)😭😭😭😭😭😭
Really appreciate the asocial vs antisocial lesson; too many view them as interchangeable
Love that i was like number 143 ❤ this is a topic I've been thinking a lot about lately. I didn't realise just how much i missed and now crave the in-person interactions. It just hits different!
Eating chicken and mashed potatoes
Too bad, people are just objects and I am the only one that is real.
3:21 quiet the opposite i’m at the gym
Eagles always fly alone.
lol I was clipping my nails, why would you tell me to eat them
yes, Rumi I'm tearing up this chipotle lol
WTFFFF I am eating breakfast rn dawg
Y'all speak for yourselves
Join a sports club guys
This pad see ew slapping guys
3:15 LOL, I am eating pizza
not botched and alone 😂
Hell yeah I'm eating a meal rn
will this cure me?
This is so on point. No comments
BOTCHED
Idk there are things I disagree with. I think we forget our country suffered from the lock down- but something else happened. I hate to say it but, BLM. I live in the city and when the protests started, small Buisness were looted, destroyed, literally lit on fire. Baltimore City was on fire. DC, Seattle, LA, Oakland, st Louis were all going through the same thing!
these old buildings are where most bars, clubs, shops, cafes where young people would hang out at- were destroyed beyond repair. The bars, clubs, restaurants etc. were abandoned because the country was locked down including insurance agents, contracters, banks.
A few years later when these neighborhoods were clean, remodeled & reopene, it was too late. So many people were in the habit of being alone.
But being from bmore city: the shift began after the protests ,u failed to mention anything about that
I feel this is a way too specific issue that I doubt he would even know about, like how it affected social meeting places but hopefully he sees this
@ericaallen6064 this sounds like a dog whistle...
I hate to say it but the doomer behaviour started way before 2020. I know for your kind, BLM is not the reason for the isolation of an entire country. The so called looters did not "loot" and set ablaze every small business in the area you mentioned. I hate to say it but these entire States weren't on fire, those happened in very specific areas. What people like you fail to understand is that the number of buildings affected by the protest are public. I can assure you that all the Young person in America did not frequent those handful of buildings.
This is an issue with most western countries by the way, so are the BLM protest (that did not happen) responsible for that as well? Lol
This is not 4chan, or all those channels babes, you are in the wrong place.
Lil bro sounds and acts like he went to the diddy party😭✌️
So glad SOMEONE finally said it. GO. MEET. PEOPLE. 😂
dont call me that you're not my bestie
So glad peps are talking about it more!
I have austism so i already suck with talking to people both irl and online 🫠🫠🫠🫠
Most people suck at talking, have you listened to them, find someone whose sucking at talking is fun for you both.