@@StephaniePerry when you say you’re a house sitter, do you mean you sublease from the owner while the owner is not currently staying at their property?
I believe that black women, around the world, always cater for black men, sacrifice themselves for them and learning to burn the cape and stop worshiping and catering for black men who would NEVER do the same for us. I believe that is the start.
@@sdothoward2743 Whyte men created incentives for cooperation. Blk men just expect cooperation but have no plan, no purpose, no resources, no self respect and most importantly, no incentive. When blk women cooperate with blk males they end up raising their children alone or they end up harmed. If blk men were like the biracial Barack Obama, blk men would have full cooperation. Most blk males are clueless, and lack direction. It “ain’t hard to see” THAT Black Women are done following the failed leadership of blk men.
Can you give an example of black women caping for black men? How did you measure that black women all over the world are caping for black men? I notice the sisters in this video 📹 did not mention black men, but you did.
I'm sixty and the " strong black woman" syndrome is in my generation also . I remember thinking like Stephanie when I was forty..work , come home, take care of family, than go to bed and do the same thing tomorrow. ( and I was married, )I'm now going to be " self centered with the rest of my life...its me time now... I'm going to move probably, out of the USA. I love seeing these young woman doing this now. Our mental health is very important, don't let anyone rent space in your mind or guilt trip you, especially Family. We get one life, everyday daylight is burning behind us....Ladies go for it!!
Your message needs to be heard and adopted as a guide by all Black women. The Black Manosphere say Black women are too masculine because Black women take charge over every crisis in the family and Black community. We treat grown Black men like they are our babies and sons. So relax in your femininity and give men the responsibility and burdens.
Taking off my cape means being vulnerable in front of others, like my mother, and allowing myself to cry when I'm feeling sad, rather than trying to hold in the tears because I feel it's a sign of weakness. I've also decided to give up the fight of having to call out racists on UA-cam. 😆 I acknowledge there will always be racists and any comments that I make will, more than likely, not change that person's attitudes and beliefs. As long as I have inner peace, that's all that matters!
I inherited the cape and then chose law enforcement as my career. I was the epitome of the strong black woman trope until I turned fifty, took it off, and burned it. I refused to pass it down to my daughter. I no longer entertain people who will suck my soul dry. I rest, I travel, I take care of my body, soul, and spirit. I wish I could have done it sooner.
I inherited the cape as well. Healthcare/EMS as an EMT and now education while working in the ER. I hear you. The cape is burned. I am doing things now to move abroad so I am working extra to make the $ to move but still with boundaries intact. That is why I travel solo around the world, I don't have children *never wanted them* and not ever married. Too much work and not my thing. I knew that early on.
@@prettylady818 definitely looking at Europe or SE Asia. I scouted out Costa Rica, enjoyed my visit, however, the infrastructure when the storms hit while during the trip is often destroyed ie., no power, electricity, roads, etc,. for days to sometimes a week on which is a common occurrence per the locals. I was 😬 and not for me.
I just turned 50 5/1 and it has been my mantra all month... I left the stressful career of nursing which was taking a toll on my health. I've reinvented myself in a career of real estate, my children are adults and living on their own, and I'm divorced. I'm only taking care of myself and it's a freedom I'll never give up.
I started traveling with my daughter across the world since she was 6 years old she is so different than me THANK GOD! She is a giver but she don’t give if that’s clear I have literally been everyone’s door mat..I purchased a summer beach home with my hard earn money working this crazy pandemic with seeing so much death and my family has benefited from it more than me as Im working the pandemic around the world they are chilling in my beach home but I just started my 3 month sabbatical and things have to change I put them all out this weekend gone and I told them no more money as I want to retire from nursing before I turn 50 in 3 more years..im going to go back to COURTING like I use to be..past 2 years I have been nothing but a slave to so many things and people and I’m done
I never bought into it. 🤷🏾♀️ 37 yrs old, divorced, childfree, started traveling solo at 33 years old and planning to cruise around the world, traveling for the rest of my days. All I plan to do is cruise/travel solo and mind my stress-free business. 🤷🏾♀️😂 Well, except for my career, I'm a therapist. 🥴
@@tiffanyyisrael7989 do you want to be re-married again someday and do you want children? If you’re being honest with yourself… if you’re focused on traveling the world you will miss meeting someone and having children (we do have a ticking clock). Yes, traveling is amazing, I’ve done it - not solo though… but it seems like you either have to compromise to receive one (family) or the other (flourishing career, traveling). I’m 37, married with 2 children. So I hear ya! Best wishes!
My cape came off in 2020…i never wanted it, it was given to me as well. I actually said the words “I need help” yesterday at work. And guess what? I got help
This is what self accountability looks like. Recognizing the problem and fixing it. Not complaining, blaming and whining external things. It starts from inward.
For me, taking off the cape and the word "No" go hand and hand. Burning the cape meant telling people "No" a whole lot. I am much happier and freer and less tired. Wearing the cape for me meant giving everybody advice, being used as a vessel for people to unburden themselves upon. I cut that ish completely off. I am an introvert by nature, so too much input and too many people is draining for me naturally. It felt really good shedding off the responsibility of being "The One" and just being me. My boyfriend and I went our separate ways and my child moved out (finally) and I feel so much better, so much more peaceful.
Introvert here as well and an empath so I REALLY have to be careful with whom I let into my circle and energies. I work in Healthcare and education which are both draining of energies by having to take care of people and setting boundaries with both jobs. I don't work OT in the ER, I tell my students I will not email them during the weekend and I started meditating recently for clarity. I have been the sage and woman who supported everyone but when I needed the same comfort, that went MIA. I pushed back at the ER exponentially. I always tried to help out, work at a very high and efficient manner while everyone else chilled and finally after a mental health breakdown with depression after losing family/friends, the social unrest,, working in a hospital during the pandemic I was absorbing way too much negative energy and stepped all the way back and now it's about doing less and not feeling guilty.
@@michonnegrimes880 I worked in Healthcare from 2005 to 2017. Dealing directly with staff and patients in admin and embedded in outpatient ambulatory specialty clinics. When I say I was so grateful to God that I was no longer a front-facing employee when Covid hit I mean it. I would have quit I am sure. What draws you to Healthcare is also what can repel you. Now I work for the VA but not the medical center, in procurement which is WFH, patient centered but not direct patient care. Better for my nerves.
BLACK WOMEN DO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, another one from my files, "Gwinnett County tax commissioner dies of breast cancer at 43 (2022, May 6), divorcee, well educated, mother of 4 children, Ms. Tiffany Porter. Pretty and smart, hardworking, she died way tooo soon, sadly! Many black women need TO LEARN TO slow down and take care of themselves!!!!
I am 68 yrs GGM, I was the one everyone came to, the men's would say you have a strong will, when I needed it there was no one to help me. Now that I am a retired secretary, I am to tired, no energy, but I have time left. This segment is enlighten to watch. I will find a way out, to take off of my cape, bc it's choking me.
I dropped the cape leaving friendships that I realized couldn’t be genuinely happy for me. It was hard I grieved but I have felt so appreciated by more plp allow in my day to day
I love this.! Throw the cape away. For me I also reject any other label or titles that try to steer me or put me in position that requires I take responsibility for so many other people. Don't call me "Queen", A Boss..none of that. Queens wear a crown, sit on a throne and have whole villages and lots of people they are responsible for....nope I don't what that expectation either.
I'm not understanding... I'm a strong black woman.. I still cry.. I still get upset , I still feel lonely, I deal with family issues, and I'm Single! But through it all I'm still a strong black woman!
@@michellec.4994 We’re discussing the typical “idea” of a strong black woman. The one who holds the secrets, the one who always comes second, the giver, the therapist, even the mother. We’re women who’ve decided our needs and who we are matter and should come first. Not allowing ourselves to be disarmed and our voices silenced due to expectations. I think we’re “strong” in a different way. But not in the way most people think of a strong black woman.
Stephanie, thanks for sharing, missed this video, I was out hiking and foraging wild foods in the forest. Watching now, childfree for life, and I have never worn a cape for others in my life -- no listening to folks' problems. Self careismy priority. No strong black woman cape for ME.................................................................. relaxing in my huge colorful, beautiful handmade hammock
Love this video. Job well done!!! Kim - everything I didn't know how to say, you said it for me. Stephanie - During my Son's College Graduation I kept hearing your voice EASE. Instead of a stressful Graduation party I gave my Son the opening deposit to a ROTH Mutual Fund and I gave myself a Beach front hotel room since it was Mothers Day weekend, with the gift of relaxation and rest. My Cape is in the garbage, Wonder Woman is learning how to Self Prioritzation:). Thank you Stephanie for the videos, please don't stop:)'s
Wow @queenager! This is definition of embracing ease and how enriching that decision can be! I can vividly imagine you sitting on a balcony, overlooking the ocean while that dusty cape sits in a garbage can! Kudos to you!!! Congrats to your son!
If he was upset he will get over it and his future self will appreciate it. When I think of all the $ I threw away to celebrate 🤢. Self care should be the top of the list.
Thank you so much Stephanie for this powerful conversation. I've been the STRONG Black woman since 5 years old when I had to take of my schizophrenic mother till she died. Then l had to take care of other family members. My body has worn down from being the "STRONG BLACK WOMAN". But I'm learning that l CANNOT be strong for everyone. I'm human. Jesus bless.
You didn't have to do those things you chose to. That's the key to reprogramming your mind. It was a choice so now make another choice that benefits you.
Ever since my parents passed, I'm the one that my family comes to lay their troubles and burdens on. I don't want this and did not ask for this. I took the "cape" because no one was able and or want to take responsibility for my parents. I'm tired now and I want to burn 🔥 the "cape"
Please take it off and burn it! My sister tried to do it all and it did her in. I wish she could have heard and accepted this message. Perhaps she would still be here. Please take it off!
Yes. Please take off the cape. It happens one decision at a time. Choose your peace! Remember, the Universe/God will take care of everyone. When you take the cape off, it’ll give others the space to grow and evolve.
Yes.. it's usually the "girl-child" who inherits the load.. while also being unsupported and even abused. I am the only girl of four children. My father has since passed and it's just my mom now. My mother has only known caping and muling (Jamaican woman coming of age in 50s, 60s, 70s; very religious) and misinterprets my absolute and total renouncement of that lot as selfishness and ingratitude and meanness. 🤷 Love her dearly; will. Will be here for her as I should. AM NOT taking her place as family MATriarch should she pass before me. I certainly hope my brothers can see this.
Stephanie, love this content! As a retired Army veteran and the daughter of someone who experienced mental health issues I put the cape on as a safety net. I experienced childhood trauma as well so the cloak became my safe space. I carry it until this day and now that I am 50 I am taking inventory on my life and realize that I have lost job opportunities, potential friendships, and wasted 31 years of my life in a relationship that doesn’t serve me. I so needed this! THANK YOU!
I thought this was gonna be boring as hell, but it caught me off guard …and really resonated with me. Thank you for having the courage to even talk about this
Thank you Stephanie from the bottom of my heart. As a woman who is knocking on the door of 50, I can identify with these women on so many levels. I currently live in Spain but will be traveling to France next week to reconnect wirh myself, with my definition of happiness, joy, and peace. Thank you for creating a platform that has been sorely overlooked, for black women in particular. May peace and blessings remain upon you.
Glad these conversations are being held more & more by blk women, expressing,releasing & sharing is the start of growth/healing. Peace & light to these ladies as they shared their journeys, it truly will rain supreme & help others indeed.
Stephanie, thanks for sharing all these new-age women, who are liberating themselves at early ages. I am now a grandmother who has never had any time for myself while taking care of grown people, who would be stronger if I would let them go, Thanks to all these wonderful women for inspiring me!
I like the speaker who said we need to be selfish - YES! Because BW version of being selfish is not selfish enough. Also, we need to learn how to say NO, and say NO often. I started that and now get good sleep at night.
@@StephaniePerry Rev. Da Saint said her brother invited her to visit Colombia for 21 days despite her limited funds only allowing her to buy the airline ticket. Her brother told her "Just come through, sis. I got you." He also put her up in some resorts there.
Just thumbs up based on the title ALONE. Based on all the vitriolic shockwaves following a certain YTber's sudden death and the unbelievably damaged psyches still loyal to his mean-spirited content, this discussion is DEFINITELY needed!
It’s amazing the additional things I’m learning from the other women involved. Going to add to my dossier. This is a day to day journey I’m on. And their stories will add to mine. Thank you again for putting this together big sis!
This was revolutionary!!! This conversation was over do and very well needed... Thank you to all the ladies for sharing... This video bought tears of joy to my soul... Just hearing such valuable conversation... Thank you Thank you Stay blessed to all the ladies and everyone y'all inspired
I've always looked out for me,but I also was giving myself to others. It's not worth it people are so selfish and ungrateful. I'm so glad I have not let my friends and my family drain me. Im 65 and don't look like it I feel good I am widow for 4yrs, but hey I feel great. And it's ok to be single. I miss my husband everyday. If it is meant to happen it will buytI'm not stressing about it. We must take of you. Hi Stephanie
BEAUTIFUL ARTICLE, (BW) Lorri McPowell, 41, un-married & childfree lives in Little Rock AR is featured in a video in this article, "Arkansas who are childless by Choice say their family stye works for them" (May 9, 2022). I read the article and watched the video twice, plus I shared it. Lorri is beautiful and knows what she wants!!!!!!!
Thank you for this Stephanie. I loved each of these interviews. Inspired by your TeamDoAsLittleAsPossible mantra, I took off my cape in 2021 and have been working on self, taking care of self as well as setting/resetting boundaries. I don't know if its because of the pandemic but thus far the transition is going better than I anticipated. 💕
Thank you so much for sharing these amazing stories of blk women living their dreams, prioritizing themselves and just found inner happiness. Stephanie… you are definitely helping women realizing we deserve better in every area of our lives. May you always be blessed. Love your content 😊❤️
Great conversation as usual. I jotted down so many notes. I started with I want . . . I deserve . . . I will . . . each time one of the ladies gave me a revelation. I preparing for retirement. I plan to thoroughly enjoy it.
I don't know how else to live. I've never known anything about myself and had a family on top of that. My children became the linchpin in every aspect of my life. Then they grew up. I'm so lost and feel like I will never know who I am and what I want for me.
Stephanie! This is an awesome segment. I love having my coffee time with your content. I could feel the Spiritual Component as soon as Sherry started talking. Love this! Thank you!
I’m super happy I found your channel! Im turning on my notifications now!!! Kim spoke for me I swear This is my year of boundaries & finding this channel was another major sign for me!!
Stephanie, your smile is infectious and you were so happy doing your interview! Like AZ, I started to change after finding your channel. I'm not leaving YET BUT everyone around me is now considering the option that they can be happy abroad! Thank you sooo much!! You've made a huge difference!
So happy I found you. Your channel popped up in my feed ❤❤. I am not playing strong bw for anyone but I am the mother of two teens and my oldest is disabled. I am consistently overwhelmed with no help..it's affecting me being a caregiver and breadwinner. Had to take time off of work being that I work in Healthcare and was burnt out. I am trying to find another stream of income because I am the only positive role model for my kid's and I want to be around them more. But I need income..I bring everything in and if I don't we don't have anything. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I started therapy myself last year and the biggest thing I found out I wasn't doing and probably never did at now 42 was set boundaries up with ppl. It also made me resent ppl because I wasn't speaking up and I didn't know what I wanted so ppl floated in and out of my life as they pleased when they pleased and done what they pleased because I didn't say anything. Now I have strong boundaries but still feel stuck 😒🙄
Good morning Stephanie and ladies 🌄! Loving the topic. What I am hearing from Kimberly' sounds very familiar to me. It's such a shame no one checks in on us to see how we are doing!!!
Love these messages 💕 so relate to these ladies. Relationships with people you love and care about the most, drain the most from you on purpose or not❤Thank you❤You have to learn to put yourself first❤
I love all of the contributions, but the one which resonated more with my present state of mind was Rev.DaSaint's. She inspired me to take my faith in God to another level. Stop limiting His love in my life. She was so inspiring in every way! Thanks, to all who contributed!
Black, Woman, Queer, and a Minister. Honey, you need to write a book about your lived- experience! And the young lady that is a professional wrestler makes for an interesting story. I appreciate the versatility of each of the ladies' stories! Tfs, Stephaine!
So true we use so many things to take control of our life and next thing we there We have time to reexamine our life l found out our family love us yet respectly telling us the truth.
Very interesting video. Thumbs up this video.This video reminded me of my younger adult life. When me and some close friends promised ourcellfs to travel & saying yes to life.
You are a BLESSING I’m so glad God sent you to me! I remember an ex use to call to say Happy Fathers Day to me when I was dating him after my divorce from my husband my daughter was 5 at the time and he was the first guy I dated after my divorce He never committed he was playing me and another girl at the same time I use to love that Happy Fathers Day shout out now I see it was being slick to indirectly tell me I will always be mother and father because he will never step up to the plate to be step father to my daughter..My cape is off no more being an Empath..I have been blessed by giving as God has rewarded me greatly but im not a doormat or an ATM!
the 1st young lady, as well as all of us who put on capes... it hurts to try and do what only God is great at, so let's let Him take care of those we love AND us, and enjoy what He has put around us to enjoy. :)
Thank you Stephanie on Point Perry,, good video.. To much of us has been given to others, and sadly a lot of people do take advantage. You neglect you, and some get sick. Enough! DO YOU.
Listening to this and other videos years later I realize being in the hospital those of us there we missed out on the rest reflections many used to their advantage. Its 2024 (March) and I am JUST now getting around to these things mentioned and what others took advantage of.
Hey Stephanie, I love your content and this is the life for me lol!! Do any of your videos discuss retirement planning? If so, please provide the link or possibly do a video ❤
✨”Your relationship with yourself will be mirrored by the people around you.” 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
A word. For real. 💗
@@StephaniePerry when you say you’re a house sitter, do you mean you sublease from the owner while the owner is not currently staying at their property?
☑️💕💕
Absolutely love this!!!
@@quelquun2018 No, the owner is out of town and needs someone to watch their home while they're gone, usually for long term periods.
I believe that black women, around the world, always cater for black men, sacrifice themselves for them and learning to burn the cape and stop worshiping and catering for black men who would NEVER do the same for us. I believe that is the start.
💯💯💯
It ain't hard to see Black men are done begging for your cooperation
@@sdothoward2743 Whyte men created incentives for cooperation.
Blk men just expect cooperation but have no plan, no purpose, no resources, no self respect and most importantly, no incentive.
When blk women cooperate with blk males they end up raising their children alone or they end up harmed.
If blk men were like the biracial Barack Obama, blk men would have full cooperation.
Most blk males are clueless, and lack direction.
It “ain’t hard to see” THAT Black Women are done following the failed leadership of blk men.
@@sdothoward2743 you never help,protect or provide for bw but always expect everything from us. smh🙄
the negrecity !!!
Can you give an example of black women caping for black men? How did you measure that black women all over the world are caping for black men? I notice the sisters in this video 📹 did not mention black men, but you did.
I'm sixty and the " strong black woman" syndrome is in my generation also . I remember thinking like Stephanie when I was forty..work , come home, take care of family, than go to bed and do the same thing tomorrow. ( and I was married, )I'm now going to be " self centered with the rest of my life...its me time now... I'm going to move probably, out of the USA. I love seeing these young woman doing this now. Our mental health is very important, don't let anyone rent space in your mind or guilt trip you, especially Family. We get one life, everyday daylight is burning behind us....Ladies go for it!!
Let's go for it Sharon! Self centered is self care. 💗
@@StephaniePerry Absolutely Stephanie!
I love that! Don't let anyone rent space in your mind. YES!!
I am there, turning sixty, but still married, and wanting to make my next move to travel, and work abroad, time to change gears!
@@cdnelson9945 Is your marriage a liability? Many women would love to be happily married!
I stopped being the strong BW over a decade ago and it is very freeing.
Your message needs to be heard and adopted as a guide by all Black women. The Black Manosphere say Black women are too masculine because Black women take charge over every crisis in the family and Black community. We treat grown Black men like they are our babies and sons. So relax in your femininity and give men the responsibility and burdens.
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Facts!!! 😊😊😊
Taking off my cape means being vulnerable in front of others, like my mother, and allowing myself to cry when I'm feeling sad, rather than trying to hold in the tears because I feel it's a sign of weakness. I've also decided to give up the fight of having to call out racists on UA-cam. 😆 I acknowledge there will always be racists and any comments that I make will, more than likely, not change that person's attitudes and beliefs. As long as I have inner peace, that's all that matters!
Indeed we should stop trying to change racists. Racism is a choice they've made
Go girl!!!!!
I inherited the cape and then chose law enforcement as my career. I was the epitome of the strong black woman trope until I turned fifty, took it off, and burned it. I refused to pass it down to my daughter. I no longer entertain people who will suck my soul dry. I rest, I travel, I take care of my body, soul, and spirit. I wish I could have done it sooner.
I inherited the cape as well. Healthcare/EMS as an EMT and now education while working in the ER. I hear you. The cape is burned. I am doing things now to move abroad so I am working extra to make the $ to move but still with boundaries intact. That is why I travel solo around the world, I don't have children *never wanted them* and not ever married. Too much work and not my thing. I knew that early on.
@@michonnegrimes880 where are you looking to move to? Congratulations on changing your mindset. It’s not an easy thing.
@@prettylady818 definitely looking at Europe or SE Asia. I scouted out Costa Rica, enjoyed my visit, however, the infrastructure when the storms hit while during the trip is often destroyed ie., no power, electricity, roads, etc,. for days to sometimes a week on which is a common occurrence per the locals. I was 😬 and not for me.
I just turned 50 5/1 and it has been my mantra all month... I left the stressful career of nursing which was taking a toll on my health. I've reinvented myself in a career of real estate, my children are adults and living on their own, and I'm divorced. I'm only taking care of myself and it's a freedom I'll never give up.
I started traveling with my daughter across the world since she was 6 years old she is so different than me THANK GOD! She is a giver but she don’t give if that’s clear I have literally been everyone’s door mat..I purchased a summer beach home with my hard earn money working this crazy pandemic with seeing so much death and my family has benefited from it more than me as Im working the pandemic around the world they are chilling in my beach home but I just started my 3 month sabbatical and things have to change I put them all out this weekend gone and I told them no more money as I want to retire from nursing before I turn 50 in 3 more years..im going to go back to COURTING like I use to be..past 2 years I have been nothing but a slave to so many things and people and I’m done
I am so glad black women are having this conversation. Am african and I hope many more black women hear
It's time! Welcome Sandra. 💗
I never bought into it. 🤷🏾♀️ 37 yrs old, divorced, childfree, started traveling solo at 33 years old and planning to cruise around the world, traveling for the rest of my days. All I plan to do is cruise/travel solo and mind my stress-free business. 🤷🏾♀️😂 Well, except for my career, I'm a therapist. 🥴
I never bought into it, either. I realized early on that it was a trap that I wanted no parts of 🙅🏾♀️😌
Tiffany, Yes! I'm a therapist too! Planning how to do this on the go, online, traveling and stress free too!
@@AsTheSunRises Licensure and private practice is the key! 🙂I'm working on it.
@@tiffanyyisrael7989 do you want to be re-married again someday and do you want children? If you’re being honest with yourself… if you’re focused on traveling the world you will miss meeting someone and having children (we do have a ticking clock). Yes, traveling is amazing, I’ve done it - not solo though… but it seems like you either have to compromise to receive one (family) or the other (flourishing career, traveling). I’m 37, married with 2 children. So I hear ya! Best wishes!
@@RK-qh3dt There are couples that travel the world with children, though ...
My cape came off in 2020…i never wanted it, it was given to me as well. I actually said the words “I need help” yesterday at work. And guess what? I got help
This is what self accountability looks like. Recognizing the problem and fixing it. Not complaining, blaming and whining external things. It starts from inward.
For me, taking off the cape and the word "No" go hand and hand. Burning the cape meant telling people "No" a whole lot. I am much happier and freer and less tired. Wearing the cape for me meant giving everybody advice, being used as a vessel for people to unburden themselves upon. I cut that ish completely off. I am an introvert by nature, so too much input and too many people is draining for me naturally. It felt really good shedding off the responsibility of being "The One" and just being me. My boyfriend and I went our separate ways and my child moved out (finally) and I feel so much better, so much more peaceful.
Introvert here as well and an empath so I REALLY have to be careful with whom I let into my circle and energies. I work in Healthcare and education which are both draining of energies by having to take care of people and setting boundaries with both jobs. I don't work OT in the ER, I tell my students I will not email them during the weekend and I started meditating recently for clarity. I have been the sage and woman who supported everyone but when I needed the same comfort, that went MIA. I pushed back at the ER exponentially. I always tried to help out, work at a very high and efficient manner while everyone else chilled and finally after a mental health breakdown with depression after losing family/friends, the social unrest,, working in a hospital during the pandemic I was absorbing way too much negative energy and stepped all the way back and now it's about doing less and not feeling guilty.
@@michonnegrimes880 I worked in Healthcare from 2005 to 2017. Dealing directly with staff and patients in admin and embedded in outpatient ambulatory specialty clinics. When I say I was so grateful to God that I was no longer a front-facing employee when Covid hit I mean it. I would have quit I am sure. What draws you to Healthcare is also what can repel you. Now I work for the VA but not the medical center, in procurement which is WFH, patient centered but not direct patient care. Better for my nerves.
BLACK WOMEN DO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, another one from my files, "Gwinnett County tax commissioner dies of breast cancer at 43 (2022, May 6), divorcee, well educated, mother of 4 children, Ms. Tiffany Porter. Pretty and smart, hardworking, she died way tooo soon, sadly! Many black women need TO LEARN TO slow down and take care of themselves!!!!
OMG.. WHERE WAS I
I live there.
Blks also need to learn that we all have cancers in us. Do not take their medicine when prescribed.
I am 68 yrs GGM, I was the one everyone came to, the men's would say you have a strong will, when I needed it there was no one to help me. Now that I am a retired secretary, I am to tired, no energy, but I have time left. This segment is enlighten to watch. I will find a way out, to take off of my cape, bc it's choking me.
It’s never too late
Just move moving helps alot
🙏🏿
You can do it… sometimes God wants you to just throw your cares away and move to joy. He will take care of the rest !
Important topics discussed by the ladies:
- Having boundaries
- Inner child 👧🏾 work
I dropped the cape leaving friendships that I realized couldn’t be genuinely happy for me. It was hard I grieved but I have felt so appreciated by more plp allow in my day to day
more plp I allow*
Yeah losing friends is very painful. I'm glad you didn't take back the cape during the grief
I love this.! Throw the cape away. For me I also reject any other label or titles that try to steer me or put me in position that requires I take responsibility for so many other people. Don't call me "Queen", A Boss..none of that. Queens wear a crown, sit on a throne and have whole villages and lots of people they are responsible for....nope I don't what that expectation either.
I so agree!!! burned the “QUEEN” and “BOSS B$&$$” T-shirts🙅🏾♀️
Thank you! Ive never been into the queen title or boss. Not even princess! I have no ambition of being responsible for a bunch of grown ass adults!
@@nopeninja9765 sis not even princess?? At least the princess is pampered
@@britjj5126 True! I don't mind princess personally.🙂
I like the term Diva... A diva is talented, respected, and catered to
💜Find your identity black women. 💜
I'm not understanding... I'm a strong black woman.. I still cry.. I still get upset , I still feel lonely, I deal with family issues, and I'm Single! But through it all I'm still a strong black woman!
@@michellec.4994 We’re discussing the typical “idea” of a strong black woman. The one who holds the secrets, the one who always comes second, the giver, the therapist, even the mother. We’re women who’ve decided our needs and who we are matter and should come first. Not allowing ourselves to be disarmed and our voices silenced due to expectations. I think we’re “strong” in a different way. But not in the way most people think of a strong black woman.
@@michellec.4994 This is my perspective. And I hope it helps! Just want to ensure whatever you’re meant to take from this video is received. 💜
@@Deity09 ohh...ok... I understand.
Can we get some merch that says “embrace ease”?
WE CANNNN! Good idea Stacia! Now let me find somebody who can draw. 👩🏾🎨
@@StephaniePerryFiverr can help!
Malcolm X says it best: the MOST unprotected woman is the black woman...
Stephanie, thanks for sharing, missed this video, I was out hiking and foraging wild foods in the forest. Watching now, childfree for life, and I have never worn a cape for others in my life -- no listening to folks' problems. Self careismy priority. No strong black woman cape for ME.................................................................. relaxing in my huge colorful, beautiful handmade hammock
Love this video. Job well done!!! Kim - everything I didn't know how to say, you said it for me. Stephanie - During my Son's College Graduation I kept hearing your voice EASE. Instead of a stressful Graduation party I gave my Son the opening deposit to a ROTH Mutual Fund and I gave myself a Beach front hotel room since it was Mothers Day weekend, with the gift of relaxation and rest. My Cape is in the garbage, Wonder Woman is learning how to Self Prioritzation:). Thank you Stephanie for the videos, please don't stop:)'s
Wow @queenager! This is definition of embracing ease and how enriching that decision can be! I can vividly imagine you sitting on a balcony, overlooking the ocean while that dusty cape sits in a garbage can! Kudos to you!!! Congrats to your son!
If he was upset he will get over it and his future self will appreciate it. When I think of all the $ I threw away to celebrate 🤢. Self care should be the top of the list.
That was a wonderful graduation gift for both of you!
Thank you so much Stephanie for this powerful conversation. I've been the STRONG Black woman since 5 years old when I had to take of my schizophrenic mother till she died. Then l had to take care of other family members. My body has worn down from being the "STRONG BLACK WOMAN". But I'm learning that l CANNOT be strong for everyone. I'm human. Jesus bless.
Read The Color of Madness.
You didn't have to do those things you chose to. That's the key to reprogramming your mind. It was a choice so now make another choice that benefits you.
I so enjoyed Kimberly White. I appreciate the honest vulnerability. Good for you, sis.
Thank you, Sis!💛🌸
These stories will change lives!
Thank you! 💛🌸 I really appreciate Stephanie and her platform. That in itself is an answered prayer.
Ever since my parents passed, I'm the one that my family comes to lay their troubles and burdens on. I don't want this and did not ask for this. I took the "cape" because no one was able and or want to take responsibility for my parents. I'm tired now and I want to burn 🔥 the "cape"
Please take it off and burn it! My sister tried to do it all and it did her in. I wish she could have heard and accepted this message. Perhaps she would still be here. Please take it off!
Yes. Please take off the cape. It happens one decision at a time. Choose your peace! Remember, the Universe/God will take care of everyone. When you take the cape off, it’ll give others the space to grow and evolve.
Yes.. it's usually the "girl-child" who inherits the load.. while also being unsupported and even abused. I am the only girl of four children. My father has since passed and it's just my mom now. My mother has only known caping and muling (Jamaican woman coming of age in 50s, 60s, 70s; very religious) and misinterprets my absolute and total renouncement of that lot as selfishness and ingratitude and meanness. 🤷 Love her dearly; will. Will be here for her as I should. AM NOT taking her place as family MATriarch should she pass before me. I certainly hope my brothers can see this.
Just say NO. If they love you they will grow up and handle their own problems. If not then get rid of those parasites.
Stephanie, love this content! As a retired Army veteran and the daughter of someone who experienced mental health issues I put the cape on as a safety net. I experienced childhood trauma as well so the cloak became my safe space. I carry it until this day and now that I am 50 I am taking inventory on my life and realize that I have lost job opportunities, potential friendships, and wasted 31 years of my life in a relationship that doesn’t serve me. I so needed this! THANK YOU!
I thought this was gonna be boring as hell, but it caught me off guard …and really resonated with me. Thank you for having the courage to even talk about this
Thank you Stephanie from the bottom of my heart. As a woman who is knocking on the door of 50, I can identify with these women on so many levels. I currently live in Spain but will be traveling to France next week to reconnect wirh myself, with my definition of happiness, joy, and peace. Thank you for creating a platform that has been sorely overlooked, for black women in particular. May peace and blessings remain upon you.
Every time I listen to one of your shows I am further encouraged to step in the direction of ease and self love. Thank you!
Glad these conversations are being held more & more by blk women, expressing,releasing & sharing is the start of growth/healing. Peace & light to these ladies as they shared their journeys, it truly will rain supreme & help others indeed.
Loved it........."that period of our lives is over". Absolutely true especially if you've been "big sister/friend" to too many.
Stephanie, thanks for sharing all these new-age women, who are liberating themselves at early ages. I am now a grandmother who has never had any time for myself while taking care of grown people, who would be stronger if I would let them go, Thanks to all these wonderful women for inspiring me!
I like the speaker who said we need to be selfish - YES! Because BW version of being selfish is not selfish enough. Also, we need to learn how to say NO, and say NO often. I started that and now get good sleep at night.
Cape coming off this December.
Yesss! Are you dropping any smaller things before then?
Why not now?
@@candacedawn357 right?
@@candacedawn357 because a big part is work-related and that is the time I will shed some of those responsibilities.
Rev. Da Saint’s brother is truly a blessing!
He is!
@@StephaniePerry Rev. Da Saint said her brother invited her to visit Colombia for 21 days despite her limited funds only allowing her to buy the airline ticket. Her brother told her "Just come through, sis. I got you." He also put her up in some resorts there.
I love this for the ladies and all BW! I embrace ease! Stephanie is doing great work. These are wonderful guests!
But, "I don't want to handle it all..." whooo chile, an ENTIRE word!!!!💯
Stephanie- thanks so much for your videos encouraging us to take the leap!
You're welcome Margaret. 💗
Stop sharing all your resources with other people.Those gifts are meant for you 😇
Just thumbs up based on the title ALONE. Based on all the vitriolic shockwaves following a certain YTber's sudden death and the unbelievably damaged psyches still loyal to his mean-spirited content, this discussion is DEFINITELY needed!
No way!!! Who could I be? Thank you for Starting the conversation!
It’s amazing the additional things I’m learning from the other women involved.
Going to add to my dossier. This is a day to day journey I’m on.
And their stories will add to mine. Thank you again for putting this together big sis!
Yeah I'm totally over giving my energy (especially when I don't have it to give). I'm glad I'm growing up and learning to create boundaries.
Clarity comes in different ways. This was just what I needed to hear.
This was revolutionary!!! This conversation was over do and very well needed... Thank you to all the ladies for sharing... This video bought tears of joy to my soul... Just hearing such valuable conversation... Thank you Thank you Stay blessed to all the ladies and everyone y'all inspired
I've always looked out for me,but I also was giving myself to others. It's not worth it people are so selfish and ungrateful. I'm so glad I have not let my friends and my family drain me. Im 65 and don't look like it I feel good I am widow for 4yrs, but hey I feel great. And it's ok to be single. I miss my husband everyday. If it is meant to happen it will buytI'm not stressing about it. We must take of you. Hi Stephanie
This first speaker gave so much resonance, thank you
I'm glad I clicked on and watched. I thoroughly enjoyed this.
Welcome Raye! 💗
I recall when I did ask for help, it wasn’t there.
I just love your message, Stephanie. It helps me to embrace ease and allow the universe to provide.
It sure does!
I am on the verge I am being taken advantage of by far. At work at home and I am drained I'm going to quit somethings asap.
The struggle will always be present in life… but your perspective and relationship with and of the struggle can definitely change.
BEAUTIFUL ARTICLE, (BW) Lorri McPowell, 41, un-married & childfree lives in Little Rock AR is featured in a video in this article, "Arkansas who are childless by Choice say their family stye works for them" (May 9, 2022). I read the article and watched the video twice, plus I shared it. Lorri is beautiful and knows what she wants!!!!!!!
Thank you Shirley. I live in Little Rock as well. I watched it twice too ❤️.
@Beautiful mil excellent. Marriage and children are not for everyone. Be well and enjoy your life
This is wonderful! I love the playcation!!! I'm so inspired.
I love that too!
Thank you for this Stephanie. I loved each of these interviews. Inspired by your TeamDoAsLittleAsPossible mantra, I took off my cape in 2021 and have been working on self, taking care of self as well as setting/resetting boundaries. I don't know if its because of the pandemic but thus far the transition is going better than I anticipated. 💕
It’s the “setting/resetting boundaries” for me! Not sure which is more difficult but they are so worth it. I’m glad your transition is going well!💛🌸
I hope you all follow Cyn G on UA-cam as well her deliverance can be brutal at times but she is waking black women up
Thank you so much for sharing these amazing stories of blk women living their dreams, prioritizing themselves and just found inner happiness. Stephanie… you are definitely helping women realizing we deserve better in every area of our lives. May you always be blessed. Love your content 😊❤️
These stories are so inspiring and my heart warms to hear other women paving the life they want!!
Great conversation as usual. I jotted down so many notes. I started with I want . . . I deserve . . . I will . . . each time one of the ladies gave me a revelation. I preparing for retirement. I plan to thoroughly enjoy it.
15min in and this is already SUCH a great talk!
I needed this. Thank you ladies 💖
I’m everyone’s Super Hero; Who’s mine🤷🏽♀️??
I don't know how else to live. I've never known anything about myself and had a family on top of that. My children became the linchpin in every aspect of my life. Then they grew up. I'm so lost and feel like I will never know who I am and what I want for me.
Stephanie! This is an awesome segment. I love having my coffee time with your content.
I could feel the Spiritual Component as soon as Sherry started talking. Love this! Thank you!
This is absolutely wonderful. A great message! ❤✊🏽
Sometimes we do it to ourselves because we so use to caring for them.
I’m super happy I found your channel! Im turning on my notifications now!!! Kim spoke for me I swear This is my year of boundaries & finding this channel was another major sign for me!!
Stephanie, your smile is infectious and you were so happy doing your interview! Like AZ, I started to change after finding your channel. I'm not leaving YET BUT everyone around me is now considering the option that they can be happy abroad! Thank you sooo much!! You've made a huge difference!
So happy I found you. Your channel popped up in my feed ❤❤. I am not playing strong bw for anyone but I am the mother of two teens and my oldest is disabled. I am consistently overwhelmed with no help..it's affecting me being a caregiver and breadwinner. Had to take time off of work being that I work in Healthcare and was burnt out. I am trying to find another stream of income because I am the only positive role model for my kid's and I want to be around them more. But I need income..I bring everything in and if I don't we don't have anything. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I started therapy myself last year and the biggest thing I found out I wasn't doing and probably never did at now 42 was set boundaries up with ppl. It also made me resent ppl because I wasn't speaking up and I didn't know what I wanted so ppl floated in and out of my life as they pleased when they pleased and done what they pleased because I didn't say anything. Now I have strong boundaries but still feel stuck 😒🙄
Thank you for sharing your experience. I relate to being the bread winner, trying to please everyone. I an going look into more boundaries as well
Good morning Stephanie and ladies 🌄! Loving the topic. What I am hearing from Kimberly' sounds very familiar to me. It's such a shame no one checks in on us to see how we are doing!!!
This life can be about ease and it doesn't have to be a struggle to get to ease!
Love these messages 💕 so relate to these ladies. Relationships with people you love and care about the most, drain the most from you on purpose or not❤Thank you❤You have to learn to put yourself first❤
I’m a black woman. I’ve never thought of myself as a strong person whatever that is.
"Why give up my peace to take on burdens?" When AZ said that I almost threw my phone! 💯🤣
I love all of the contributions, but the one which resonated more with my present state of mind was Rev.DaSaint's. She inspired me to take my faith in God to another level. Stop limiting His love in my life. She was so inspiring in every way! Thanks, to all who contributed!
Wow Rev.DaSaint love how you’re speaking your truth.
Black, Woman, Queer, and a Minister. Honey, you need to write a book about your lived- experience! And the young lady that is a professional wrestler makes for an interesting story. I appreciate the versatility of each of the ladies' stories! Tfs, Stephaine!
Three unique and Amazing stories ❤ 🙏🏾💯
Thanks for watching. 💗💗
Thank you Stephanie for this video, it is appreciated.
TOOK THAT CAPE OF FIVE YEARS AGO.....IT WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE 🥵
I know I’m late to the party but I love this so much!!! I’d love to hear more of these stories!! So inspirational 🥰
So true we use so many things to take control of our life and next thing we there
We have time to reexamine our life l found out our family love us yet respectly telling us the truth.
Very interesting video. Thumbs up this video.This video reminded me of my younger adult life. When me and some close friends promised ourcellfs to travel & saying yes to life.
You are a BLESSING I’m so glad God sent you to me! I remember an ex use to call to say Happy Fathers Day to me when I was dating him after my divorce from my husband my daughter was 5 at the time and he was the first guy I dated after my divorce He never committed he was playing me and another girl at the same time I use to love that Happy Fathers Day shout out now I see it was being slick to indirectly tell me I will always be mother and father because he will never step up to the plate to be step father to my daughter..My cape is off no more being an Empath..I have been blessed by giving as God has rewarded me greatly but im not a doormat or an ATM!
Fantastic interviews!
I needed to hear this! Thanks Stephanie for always keeping it real!, 🥰🥰
Your hair looks sooo healthy!
the 1st young lady, as well as all of us who put on capes... it hurts to try and do what only God is great at, so let's let Him take care of those we love AND us, and enjoy what He has put around us to enjoy. :)
Excellent!! Video. Thanks for the inspiration and the enlightenment ❣️
I love nature too! We resonate with nature as we should❤️
Burn the capes 🔥🔥🔥
Yes indeed. No one's gonna do it for us.
Thank you Stephanie on Point Perry,, good video.. To much of us has been given to others, and sadly a lot of people do take advantage. You neglect you, and some get sick. Enough! DO YOU.
Good for you all! 👍🏾 We are not MULES! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Listening to this and other videos years later I realize being in the hospital those of us there we missed out on the rest reflections many used to their advantage. Its 2024 (March) and I am JUST now getting around to these things mentioned and what others took advantage of.
They are amazing. I identify with them all. 🥰
Hey Stephanie, I love your content and this is the life for me lol!!
Do any of your videos discuss retirement planning? If so, please provide the link or possibly do a video ❤
Found you again!! Thanks for existing!!