WHAT TO DO when a guy pays attention to you.
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- Опубліковано 5 бер 2020
- Let's real talk about throwing your dating standards out the window the moment a guy says, "Hello." Keep your heart and heart NSYNC* with one another and you could prevent a lot of hurt for your heart!
And hey, when the answer is YES, he does meet my standards/hopes/expectations, I want you to high-five yourself (or clap, whatever you want to call it), holler out a big, "AMEN, HALLELUJAH!" and see where it goes!!!!!!!!
Emily Wilson Emily, you are the best! God’s gift to us! 😇
My parents had us make two lists for potential spouses. One was our “must have” list and the other was our “can’t stand” list. When I was asked on a date by a long time friend, my parents encouraged me to put out my list and see how well the guy matched up. He matched pretty well☺️ when we first started dating, before we really got to know each other well and fall in love, my parents encouraged my now boyfriend to write his own list of must haves and can’t stands. I was surprised by a few things on his list, but overall I matched up pretty well. We have been dating for nine months now:)
Hey Emily, I know there's a ton of comments here but I really need an answer to a question. I'm 15 and currently not allowed to date until 18-- But i really want to know what you think about teen dating, like 16 and up. Could you make a video more directed to teen girls about boys, crushes, dating..etc? Thanks!
I can't say the Easter Word because I gave it up for Lent
On that note! If the guy who pays attention to you does meet your standards/is a practicing Catholic/etc., how do you still continue to guard your heart and not immediately rush to conclusions? As a girl, I think we have tendencies to imagining that happily ever after once we meet someone suitable. But in a relationship or in that getting-to-know period, a lot of other things can still happen. How do we open ourselves up to the possibility but at the same time still keep our hearts guarded? If you get what I mean.. 😅
Ok but can we talk about how good her "throwing out" sound effect was
Beth Ellett very impressive 💯
3 years ago I "dated" a man who threw me bread crumbs (he wasn't cute, I think that I kept trying to make it work because I wanted a relationship) eventually I woke up and walked away from him. A couple of months later I met an amazing Catholic man who I'm now engaged to. Girls, have high standards and don't rest until you find the right man. Don't let someone waste your time!
“Don’t ever ever ever be afraid to protect your heart from the hurt you can prevent in your life.”
LOUDER 👏🏽FOR 👏🏽THE👏🏽 PEOPLE 👏🏽IN 👏🏽THE 👏🏽BACK
Crazy Chiquita is on fire 🔥🔥🔥
My test for whether I should pursue a relationship with a guy is the question, "If I wasn't around, would I trust this man to raise my children and get them to heaven." Thanks for another fantastic Crazy Chiquita video
Marissa C IM GONNA USE THIS 💕💕
Wow! Love this!
Said it once and I’ll say it again: Crazy Chiquita is like my older sister giving me advice!! Loveeee it !!
I am so glad!!!!
For both men and women, we often tend to put our preferences over standards. Standards, virtues should be put over our preferences no matter what. Whether he's only 5'0" or looks like Ryan Gosling, whether she looks like a Victoria Secret model or just Plain Jane, the qualities that'll help raise your family and get them to heaven is far more important. Don't compromise on virtues.
Yes indeed. This is very true and important.
Amen!
I soooo agree with this!!
This was starting to speak to me, and then you said "Stephanie, what about your standards??!" And I was like, okay, this is definitely speaking to me hahhahha
I was afraid to click on this because I knew you'd speak the truth into my heart...this hit home. Could you, please, pray for me? I am in serious need of those. God bless you all.
You are brave for listening. I am saying a prayer for you RIGHT NOW!
I just said a prayer for you, and will continue to do so! I have a friend who had a similar situation, and I know how difficult it was for her. :( May our Lord uplift you and gift you with an increase of courage & bravery! Bl. Margaret Pole, pray for us! Mary, our hope, handmaiden of the Lord, pray for us! 💗
@@abbyofthewood5902 I can't express enough how thankful I am for you Abby (and for Emily's ministry and all of us here) and your prayers! In my case, it's been going on for almost 3 years and the thing about him, he truly is what I want, he is the most handsome and most talented man I've ever met. He doesn't just throw me breadcrumbs, he throws me the tastiest, best quality chocolate. We do have something special and I am afraid I will never feel the same towards anyone. But he doesn't love Jesus, even though I know he has Christians in his life. Now it's in His hands, maybe a miracle is waiting to happen, either way, I will always choose Jesus and I know He only wants best for me.
Just prayed for you and your heart as well! You are worthy of real love.
@@NatureSmarter hello lovely, I was in a similar situation until a few months ago - I had been with the guy nearly 3 years and he did not love Jesus or respect my purity. Towards the end he even started saying he didn't want to get married. It was a difficult decision to break up with him but honestly I have felt SO much better ever since! My heart is lighter and my relationship with God is 100x better.
I'm sure your situation is less dramatic than mine but I just wanted you to know that you are strong enough to deal with anything! If I can do it, anyone can - if ending it is the right thing, God will give you the strength to bear it. May He bless you and I will pray for you ❤❤
This goes for both guys and girls (who aren't as attractive as Emily):
Getting attention from a member of the opposite sex is so rare that when it does occur you feel that you MUST act on it.
I agree about preventing hurt in your life. That’s why I’m 25 and haven’t been in a relationship yet. I don’t want to spend time with someone because it brings temporary joy or thrills. I hope that when the time comes to date, I’m able to make wise decisions about who I let into my life.
This is great advice! I am 6 years into a marriage with baby #3 on the way and let me tell you... It is not the honeymoon phase anymore! Parenting young children is hard! If you and your partner do not have a mutual respect and love for each other I would think it would be impossible. The thing is when the relationship becomes long term, it doesn't matter how pretty and smooth talking the man is. It matters how you live together on a daily basis, the small things, the mundane things. Anyway, good advice again Emily! Love your heart for encouraging young women.
Me: *sees the crazy chiquita sweater*
Me: you best believe I'm giving this a thumbs up!
:) Hi!
@@emwilss howdy from Houston, Texas!
Emily you’re literally always on time with these videos it’s INSANE.
Deeply needed this. I let a bad relationship go on for too long because he said the right things and I felt loved. I’m 19. He’s 34. Lowest point I’ve ever been at in life.
The bread crumbs. I’m cracking up.
I love everything about this!!!
Thanks for watching it! Hehehe I love seeing your name here!
AMEN! The day after I broke up with my ex, I went back over my standards because I realized I strayed from some of them. Not only did I return to my original standards, but I ended up adding several to them which I realized I needed in a future husband.
I hope you won't end up alone because of your standards... 😐😐😐
Hey Gabriel! That's the biggest lie that women and men with good standards are told. You will end up alone because you value yourself enough to have a good, solid bar men/women have to reach to spend your effort, time, heart, and energy on them. It is, honestly, not a helpful or constructive thing to say to ANYONE with good standards!
Cassandra, you know how I feel girl and I'm still happy about your happy news this week. Solidarity.
@@emwilss I think it's good to have good standards, but being extremely picky will result in one not being able to find a partner. Everyone has defects, everyone has aspects we don't like. If they're not deal-breaking things, you can work things out. It's up to each person to decide which things are a deal-breaker.
Being picky and having good standards are two very, very different things.
@@Gini-hl9rr Hi Gabriel! Believe me, there were times I thought my standards were too high. But after my previous relationship, I realized there were certain standards I needed to solidify and physically write down, such as supporting me and being secure in himself. I know my standards can be reached because I see good men all around me that do, such as my brother in law and my father. If I do end up being single because that's what God is calling me to be, then so be it 🙂
When I need a reminder of what I’m TRULY looking for, what God has in store for me (if I’m called to marriage), I go back and watch your wedding video. I have wasted (grown, yes, but with unnecessary pain) YEARS of my life on men I knew weren’t right for me. I am now at a point in my life where I barely desire attention anymore from men who aren’t virtuous and respectful and convicted in their faith. It feels so freeing to finally be in a place where I am confident enough to hold my standards where they are. Thank YOU for your incredible example and I will continue to watch your wedding video every so often as a reminder of the sacrificial love we are all called to, married or not.
I am very proud of you and very much appreciate your comment and so glad that our wedding video is here for you to watch as many times as you want to. :)
Yep! I had a bad gut feeling about a guy I went on one date with...I ignored it and well...let's just say I should've listened to my heart which said he was a flat out "no!" :P There is NOTHING WRONG with simply not being interested in someone, even if they seem decent when you go on that date. :) But I fell into the "but he notices me" trap XD
I agree. I learnt the bad way that sometimes it's a good idea to trust your gut.
My name is literally Stephanie and I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately so crazy how this came about
Wow that’s cool haha
Oh my goodness yessss! I had this guy who I was literally obsessed with a few years ago, and we really got close on a month-long mission trip, but I was sooo dissapointed when he forgot about me and never texted me again. Then sometimes he would just text me random things out of the blue, and I would get so excited and feel valued, and he just kept doing this ubtil I finally realized the kind of guy he was.
This video really helped me realize something i haven't before!
That girl talk you know you needed.
This generation needs to hear this. Just because he/she is cute and nice looking doesnt mean standards should be thrown away. There are many nice looking boys' at my school, but that does not mean I settle for them because more and likely they do not meet my standards.
“Throwing out your standards ‘phwee phweee’” 😂😂 love your joy!!
By the way Emily your throwing sound effect is on point! Well done! I love it!! 🤣❤
Your sound effect for throwing out the window 😂😂 I love these Crazy Chiquita videos because they are so full of needed honesty!
Makes me happy to hear. Thank you for commenting Giselle :)
Hahaha!! This came at a good time for me! I met a guy on a plane heading to Europe lol! We talked for the entire 9 hour flight and we even started talking on whatsapp. He was giving compliments, he's super cute etc etc. buuttt now he's Mr. Ghost lol.....I was doing more of the messaging like "hey, how you doing today? Have a great day" yadayadayada but he would respond to me after like days/weeks! Then eventually I said to myself, ok after this I'm just not going to message back and he didn't message back until recently. I responded kindly but I'm not thinking anything of it. After Emily said "does he make time for you?" I'm like, yeah I just need to leave this one alone!
This video was absolutely hilarious but so tragically true. I LOVED it. I laughed sooo hard at all the sass but it's so necessary. 😂
Love love LOVEEE this🙌🏻 ladies (and guys): NEVER👏🏻LOWER👏🏻 YOUR👏🏻 STANDARDS
I literally made this mistake last week! He was starting to show consistent interest leading up to our first date, and even though it went well, he is barely messaging me now. I truly wish I hadn't ignored the red flags and undervalued myself. Thank you for this reminder. I love Crazy Chiquita!
I love you. So good!
Thanks girl :)
This has been me so many times in the past but I have grown in this area and I am waiting for God's best!! Thank you for this video as always you are a blessing ❤🥰
I'm "6'3'' ,blonde, and play the guitar" that was a funny moment to hear
Omg, this video was meant for me 😂 I literally was thinking about this lately and this popped up on my feed haha. It’s like God telling me something
A hate how much I related to this... thank you Emily. Thanks for sharing this with love and truth.
You are brave!
Was going to text a guy today that I know is bad news🤦🏼♀️ Thanks Emily for the reminder!!
Emily,
This is exactly what I needed right now! And this represented a confirmation for my life to stay hopeful in God for the right person to come! Thank you!! God is good! ❤️
Emily, Emily!! I love this. This is speaking life and wisdom to my soul. I will be honest that I was the the one who would eagerly wait for the bread crumbs. Desperate, loneliness, and in reality comparing myself to others when it came to dating. In the past, when guys paid attention I would compromise my values but deep down felt convicted. As I grew up later, I would justify compromising my values in hopes of influencing said guy. Fast forward, now I wait patiently wait And stay strong because I have the faith that God has this man who will walk into my life fit all the realistic expectations! Thank you, Jesus!
Thank you Jesus is right, yes and amen hallelujah. Thank you for sharing.
Do you have merch??I would love to get a Crazy Chiquita sweatshirt...
Same!
It's more of a need than a want at this point!
I loved your energy!! This made me feel so valuable and cared for❤️
Yey :) I am so glad.
Go on girl! As hard it takes when a guy pays attention to us stay with clear mind we must protect our hearts.
😂 she is very awake today
Girl I am always awake today I just have extra pizzazz💃🏼
Emily Wilson 😂 that is definitely something to be excited about then
I think I need to watch this video once a day for a month straight.😂 Honestly it would probably help me a lot
Im a catholic dude and i needed this. Thanks Emily,
I saw "crazy chiquita" and immediately clicked!
I agree with the realistic and unrealistic standards. My list of standards includes a "needs" and "wants" side. Needs include Christ follower, wants include likes the same music I like.
I try to look at a guy through my "needs" list, and then if he checks off the "want" side then that's great but it's not completely mandatory
Amen hallelujah!!
Very realistic!
Lol I love all of your videos, crazy Chiquita or not! I’ve been married for 2 years now and been with my husband since I was 14, but I have 2 daughters and I need to be able to teach them well! I didn’t know anything about GOOD Christian dating until watching your videos!
I am so glad to hear it!
First things first, I absolutely love the way you think, what you stand for and what message your convey to us. Truly a woman to look up to! (bonus points for living in LA and still holding these standards for yourself)
Now, I just want to say that I unfortunately am someone who has low self esteem. I am overweight (84 kg) and I don’t really feel pretty. I have given up going to different places and opportunities because I thought I was “too fat” and although lately I have made quite the progress and am allowing myself to go to different workshops and events, I still don’t feel beautiful. Every time I am out with my friends or any other girl, nobody looks at me or attempts to talk to me and that just lowers my confidence. They always ask for their numbers or names or whatever and it hasn’t happened to me once! (Just happened yesterday to two of my friends and it was just the three of us and I actually thought I looked cute yesterday so that did make me sad)
I am not one of those that “need” male attention but sometimes it is disheartening to see guys pay attention only to my friends and never to me. I know I have other values, people like hanging out with me because they find me funny or innocently childish or anything like that and that is all great but that’s what I get. And sometimes we just want to feel beautiful. So I am scared that I might fall for the first guy that pays me the TINIEST bit of attention. Just because I am not used to it at all, even if someone shows the slightest bit of effort, I might fall head over heels. Sometimes i consider myself lucky that no guy has taken interest on me like that. Also I failed to mention my age ahahah I am 21 years old. Well, I wouldn’t like to date for a little while longer, still I really am struggling with self worth and that’s all thanks to the body fat and that is making me scared that I might throw out my standards for guys that may pay me a tiny bit of attention.
I haven't had much attention from guys until pretty recently and I'm around your age. Oddly enough, I had TONS of self-esteem and self-worth but as soon as guys began showing me attention and (some) not treating me well, my self-esteem became skewed. A part of me began relying on guy's attentions to fuel the idea that I was pretty or attractive. This is so, so toxic. As soon as I realized it was happening, I tried to curb it as fast as I could. I worked on myself and really dug deep to figure out what I wanted. One of my sisters is gorgeous, but she's almost never been hit on. Just because you haven't been shown attention does NOT EVER mean you aren't attractive and you don't have any beautiful qualities to bring to the table, be it physically or mentally. Also, if you're afraid you might fall for the first guy who shows interest--I won't sugarcoat it--you just might if you're not careful. I sort of did and I'm not proud of it. How did I get out? By taking my emotions and bruised ego out of it and critically looking at the guy as a person. Were we even compatible? Did my friends and family think he was trash? As women, deep down we know the answers. There will AND ARE better things out there that God has planned for you. Life isn't just about the butterflies, it's also about the long, hard days we muddle through. Remember to love yourself like God loves you! Have a great day! :)
Dangit, Emily. Once again you are my conscience. Even if a guy makes me feel like I’m melting, if it’s not good for me then it’s not good.
She's really calling me out like that. Thanks Emily I needed this aghh
Thank you for your ministry, Emily. Your videos give me such great encouragement 💚
I truly truly needed to hear this! Thank you!!
A cute guy literally just texted me... thanks Emily
I really like the breadcrumbs demonstration! LOL that was good! I also loved the idea of making a list of things you want in a person when you have a CLEAR mind not when you're in a infatuation stage. Very important! Great job Emily!
Thank you Ashley!!!!
Thank you for this video. Just what I needed to hear.
I needed this! Thank you!
Emily can you make a similar video like this but for the boys with Daniel??
I will definitely ask him for you!
Emily Wilson thank you!!
Mark Wascovich That would definitely a great video to see!
Thanks! this is encouragement and confirmation that I am doing the right thing even thought it is hard!
I LIVE for Emily’s Videos, they always make my day!!!❤️❤️❤️
You are such a role model for girls everywhere!
I am so glad! Hi Theresa! Thank you for your comment :)
This is such great advise! I wish I would have written my standarts down before starting dating. I never really was interested in dating (my mindset at that time: I will know when I meet the right guy), so when I met my boyfriend my expextations where all over the place. Altough I am still extremly happy after almost 4 years, I'd still love to have such a list to come back to when insecurities in the relationship appear (wich is normal and happens to everyone; so don't stress yourself when being unsure. Might sound rediculous but just honestly asking your heart and your body when you cuddle or hug if it feels truly right probably will give you the answer.) 😊😊😊
Any tips on letting a guy down gently and honestly?
Edit: an old "Ask Emily" on how to reject a guy politely just popped up on my UA-cam feed hahaha.
Melissa T my go to has been saying “I don’t feel the same way, but I’d love to stay friends.” So far it has worked perfectly:) keeps the friendship while clarifying intentions.
ABOUT TIME!!!!!!!!! crazy chiquita is back!!!
Always saying what I need at exactly the right time :) thanks girl! 😘
Definitely been there... You're so right though, Emily. Love your wisdom & passion on the subject! ❤
This is the MOST perfect time for this video! I’ve been struggling really hard with this for the past couple weeks.
Wow it’s like you read my mind!!! I really needed this video! Thanks Em!!❤️
This video was absolutely necessary and perfect. ♡ Thanks for your ministry, Emily. You are so dear for us.
This speaks truth and came just in time. Thank you for your honesty and interest toward us ❤ I will definitely follow your advice and hope for the best, since this is hard to me.
I NEEDED this!!! Thank you Emily for always making such encouraging and honest videos. ♥️
This video is pure gold. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, I needed this. You’re like an older sister❤️
Aaaawww!!! Sooo true!!! Thank you so much Emily for the amazing advice!!! Such a blessing to listen to your videos!! 😃
Thank you so much for this video, I really needed it right now :)
So much energy! Amazing video as always ❤️ Your videos are the ones that never make me nervous, even when there’s conviction, but rather inspire and direct me towards the better things. Thank you for your work! Your heart is gold ❤️
wow! that was just amazing! thank you so much for all the effort you're putting into your videos! your messages are always so inspiring :)
This is soooo what I needed right now!! I swear our brains are linked 😂
Wow you couldn’t have made this video at a better time. This is literally my EXACT situation rn!!!
Great video !!! 😊👍 glad I’ve found your channel, I hope more girls or young women are finding it , cause your content is very helpful and true .
As always so good Emily!
Recently I was in a situation where I had turn down a guy who was interested in me (which honestly I've never truly been asked out by anyone that forward before) so it was extremely hard to look at all the facts I had in front of me about who he was, even though on paper he seemed like a nice guy, I just didn't have the best feeling about it and felt like I would be settling, even just going out with him. So I turned him down. Sometimes I still question if I made the right choice, but these videos always remind me that I did & I am worth so much more!
THIS. IS. EXACTLY. WHAT. I. SAID. I. WOULD. NEVER. DO. BUT. DID.
Listen to your heart, sisters. breaking up sucked and was the hardest thing to explain. But I’m healing and reevaluating my standards. I love what I believe and I love who I am when standing alone.
This video came on time. Omg thank you!!!!!!!!
Love Crazy Chiquita!! A great reminder. Thank you Emily.
What tips do you have to make sure I'm not projecting my ideas about a guy onto him, but also not assuming the worst? I want to make sure I see who he really is.
I couldn't help but notice how your sound effects are as spot-on as your advice 😁👍🏼
Hahah hey thanks!!!
What a great topic! That means somebody is findable
This is so good. I try apply this to friendships aswell.
Solid chiquita advice as always! I am going to start making the "throwing your standards out the window" noise in general conversation 😂
Oh and maybe throwing actual breadcrumbs at people by way of demonstration
This is so good!
My 15 year old self would have benefited from this ! Definitely will be showing this to my kids one day
I just had a talk with a friend about that. God bless you and protect you all ladies in the dating world to keep your purity and be with the man/ woman God wants you to be with. To know you are loved and treasured and saved by Jesus so that your sin can be cleansed away. In Jesus’s name. Amen!
So. Good. THANK YOU😭
This spoke to me so much
this was me last year, i need to keep this in mind
OMG everything you said was 100000% true..
Oh! how I wish I had this video a few years back 😶 Thank you Emily!
Perfect! That's is just what I needed to hear. Please do a video on how to end a relationship that doesn't meet my standards. Do I give reasons? Do I just say "not gonna work out"? Both ways seem mean.
Don't worry about sounding mean. It's much better to be clear and make yourself understood. Men naturally don't want to give up so you need to be assertive that you are ending the relationship. Even though he will be hurt in the short term it's better for both of you in the long run. I would rather a girl tell me she's not interested than to give me false hope.
Thank you for making this video!!
What if you find a good Catholic man who respects and treats you the way you deserve. A man who share the same values and standards. You two are compatible in just about every way except for your personality, interests, styles, etc. I’ve been struggling trying to see how this weighs in with everything else. Should this matter as much as sharing the same faith, values, and morals? Bottom line: what if he “checks all the boxes” in terms of qualities and values, but y’all have different personalities, interests, hobbies, styles, etc. ?
Preach sister 👏
This is perfect thank u so much i rlly needed to hear that😂😂
Emily, can you talk about how young newbie workers can act professional at work (especially in the context of a retail job working with other coworkers of the opposite sex)? There have been 3 bad occasions I can think of in my past job experiences as being a cashier, and I have only worked for a couple of years. This topic is very important to me and I don't think people understand how impactful unprofessional behavior can be in a young person's life (to give an example, a man 10 years older than me asked me creepy questions like do I have friends, what am I doing after work? and showed interest in me....which is unsettling). Hopefully talking about this topic would help young women starting off with small jobs to BE PROFESSIONAL and WATCH OUT for creepy guys.
I really need this video... not for now, but for the future lol
Was doing my homework, saw this video notification, almost just added it to watch later bc I know I should stay focused, saw the Crazy Chiquita, and clicked clicked anyway. Ironic considering the video content? Maybe. Worth it? Absolutely.