...yes. It’s a broad way of signifying the recipient amongst a multi-sex group. You have a point with non-binary pronouns, but there should be accommodations made, not removed.
That’s fine! At least you’re trying to understand; puts you several rungs above the TERFs. :) Take a break if you want. Just be conscious that trans people don’t have that option and you’re good
The question is how is a stranger supposed to know what you identify as? Not everyone is going to come up to a stranger and ask, "Hey stranger, what are your personal pronouns?" So if a stranger mis-pronouns you that is NOT an act of violence, that is an act of ignorance, they have no knowledge of your personal pronouns. They cannot know unless they are told...I find it interesting how that if someone does mis-pronoun they get attitude and hatred but on the other hand if a stranger comes up and ask, they likewise get attitude or hatred for having the nerve to ask. I made the mistake about talking about a person I did not know on the street to a friend of mine. I said "That person..." I didn't get to finish before that person was scream at me for saying. They were equating it to me saying "Those people". I apologized which set them off again and again when I asked what they thought a stranger should call them when referencing to another person. The response was something along the lines of Zer...Still have no idea. They then told me it was rude to even ask. I then popped off that I was damned if I do and damned if I don't. They then called me a few words I had to look up later and called me trans and homophobic...I laughed at that and then showed them my tattoo...An infinity sign with the gay flag inside it with three interlinked male signs and three bear paw also with the gay flag on it...I then said I am not gay or trans phobic, just the terminology has changed in the 32 years plus since I came out and I haven't kept up. I then told them to either educate me or leave me the hell alone... They walked away.
I'm sorry you had to meet one of the few incredibly rude and insane people in this community, 99% of the time if you misgender someone by accident they will politely let you know their correct pronouns and thats it, they don't make a deal of it. I personally give people many chances because I know that it's hard to remember new pronouns for someone, so as long as they are actually making some effort to use my pronouns then if the slip up once in a while I don't mind because I understand that it's just a mistake and not them intentionally trying to misgender and invalidate me
How does this happen? This is a serious question. Why do some people feel disconnected to traditional genders? Why does a person identify as something new? Please I'm curious.
Traditional gender roles are quite restrictive in terms of the expressions they come with. I think it's pretty easy to see why people wouldn't want to feel so limited.
@@뻔뻔하게노라 But that doesn't fully answer the question. I know for myself I was a born a man and I identify as man but I express certain "feminine" things. I love to cook, sew, I'm more agreeable and nurturing, etc. So I don't feel like there are too many restrictions on expression. My question is more about gender dsyphoria. What causes a person to feel like they were born in the wrong body?
@@andrewthehope as far as I understand, gender dysphoria often encompasses both of those things, feeling out of place in terms of gender roles/norms (social dysphoria) and in terms of your own body (body dysphoria). And for the latter, I can't tell you what causes it, and I assume even trans people themselves and scientists can't. It's definitely a very interesting question!
Hey! English is not my first language, and I am therefore a bit confused. Female: "she is beautiful" Male: "he is beautiful" Non-binary "they is beautiful"? Idk the sentence sounds a bit off to me. Am I correct or how do I use the pronoun.
+MDane9 Don't you usually refer to they/them when you really don't know exactly who it is? For example, someone calls on the phone and you are telling someone about it, so you say "They said they wanted to sell me something". In that case the pronoun they/them would work because, even though it was just a person, we don't really know who it was. However, in this case if you're talking to a friend about this other friend, you both know the person... wouldn't it be weird and confusing to say "They wanted to go to the cinema instead of the gym".
Unpopular Opinion: If anyone's got a problem with anyone telling you something, don't talk to them. And well you might feel whatever you want to feel and think the same way, but you cannot and shall no force your thinking upon others! Not a leftist, neither right, just a classical liberal!
I have a legitimate question, and I’m not trying to be a total jerk. If someone wants to use they/them pronouns, are we supposed to say “they are” and be grammatically correct, or are we supposed to say “they is” and throw all rules out the window but keep it singular? It gets so difficult because in school they teach to not say “they are” when talking about one person because it is technically wrong. However, when people choose to identify that way, what forms of verbs are we to use?
if it's a spectrum,it's still between male and female, and nonbinary refers to not on the binary, so how can something be nonbinary when it's still on the binary spectrum?
No. You can say "they" (although I understand some people don't like to say they/them), avoid using pronouns, or use "he" or "she" based on what is observable. Really, the only issue is when someone is told another person's pronouns and continues to intentionally use the wrong ones, because that's disrespectful (although I have to disagree with the video - hearing the wrong pronouns can sting, but it certainly isn't severe enough to describe it as an act of violence).
What? This sentence makes no sense. You used “their” then tried to make a joke and “Correct” yourself with using “them”?..? News flash they them theirs are all plural/ gender neutral pronouns. Their and them aren’t different except for grammar and context. Jesus Christ
When I ask someone what’s their gender, it gives off disrespectful vibes to me. I wouldn’t want someone asking wtf am I. So the whole “assuming gender” thing, is way too difficult. I’m a female. I’m a girl. I look like it (I think), wtf are you gonna do, ya know? Just correct them.
We hear you! It might feel awkward at first. You can try asking them what pronouns they use. You can also introduce yourself with your own pronouns as a way to make them feel more comfortable telling you theirs. Hope this helps!
Gender pronouns in Chinese are not an issue at all. Whether referring to a female or male, both sets of pronouns sound exactly the same in Mandarin Chinese. The spoken language doesn’t distinguish between male or female. However, the written language does distinguish between female and male. Mandarin Chinese Characters: 他 Tā（He） 她 Tā（She） 他的 Tā de（His） 她的 Tā de（Her） 你 Nǐ（You, male） 妳 Nǐ（You, female） Now, when referring to someone who is transgender, nonbinary, and/or doesn’t identify as a male or female, the solution is simple. Spoken pronouns sound the same, so that’s taken care of. Written pronouns use the default form: 他 Tā (He) 他的 Tā de (His) 你 Nǐ (You, male) Why are “male” pronouns considered to be the default? That’s because the composition of those characters are inherently neutral. Notice how each of the “male” pronouns contain “亻” on the left: “He” 亻 + 也 = 他 “His” 亻 + 也 = 他(的) “You” 亻 + 尔 = 你 This “亻” component (AKA semantic radical) means “Person” (人). Therefore, since these pronouns all contain a component which means “Person”, transgender/non-binary people are referred to using these inherently neutral written characters because in the end, everybody is a person! How about female pronouns? 她 Tā（She） 她的 Tā de（Her） 妳 Nǐ（You, female） They all contain the “女” component (semantic radical) on the left, meaning “woman, female, girl”. These female pronoun characters were created in the 20th century to distinguish females from males in writing. These written characters are only used when referring to females; that’s progressive thinking! In Cantonese, another widely-spoken variety of Chinese, both pronouns also sound the exact same. Like Mandarin, their written forms also vary. Cantonese Chinese Characters: 佢 Köi（He） 姖 Köi（She） 佢嘅 Köi ge（His） 姖嘅 Köi ge（Her） 你 Néi（You, male） 妳 Néi（You, female） As you can see, they also use the “亻” Person radical and the “女” Female radical. From our observations on two major Chinese languages/dialects, we can infer that nearly all dialects of Chinese (of which there are hundreds) share the same system when dealing with pronouns! In conclusion, the Chinese language is great in that it easily solves the gender pronoun problem English faces, and also distinguishes females from males in the written language.
Ok here my opinion on the whole “not using someone’s pronouns is violence” thing. (I’m a trans man btw) So I think if you aren’t doing something on purpose you aren’t committing a hate crime. Like, if you accidentally misgender someone you’re not and evil transphobic bigot, but like if you purposely misgender someone then you’re kind of an asshole. Also I don’t personally believe that there’s a million different genders, I think that there are two main binary genders and that not everyone falls onto either of them. Keep in mind that this is just my opinion and that you don’t have to agree (so pls don’t hate me)
@@17MrLeon Well actually a lot of trans people are really tolerant to people who misgender them. It can be disheartening for them to hear, but most trans people are understanding and won't take it personally. This video sucks because it makes all transgenders look like fragile snowflakes, but that isn't the case at all. I think it's unfair for people to bash transgenders, especially when they aren't hurting anyone or anything. You could argue that it hurts their loved ones, but that's really not the trans person's issue. If it makes them happy, leave them alone. You don't have to actively support it, just leave it be. Most of the time, they'll do the same for you
I don't go out of my way to misgender or disrespect trans people but I also won't go out of my way to have to consciously try to alter my speech mid-sentence to make them happy. I would treat trans people just like I treat everybody, with no grammatical considerations.
I’m curious, what if someone, who happened to be trans, was being very disrespectful to me, and calling me names, when I didn’t even do anything? Would I still have to respect them? I mean, this is hypothetical, because I don’t personally know any trans people who are assholes, but if I met someone, what do I do? Do I take the disrespect and call it a day, or...?
a binary is by definition something with only two options, the fact that you are acknowledging that not everyone falls into the two options means you are acknowledging that it is not a binary
I've been wondering lately if misgendering is less of an issue with languages that don't or rarely use pronouns while addressing a person or talking about them (such as Korean which I'm learning right now). Since pronouns in Korean for example, exist but don't come up much in everyday conversation and aren't relevant to a person's identity as much , I wonder if it causes less psychological distress or gender dysphoria to non-cis identifying native speakers of Korean, and isn't as much of an issue? I'd like to hear people's opinion on this.
I’m not a native speaker of Japanese, but I speak it pretty well and have read some of the stories and experiences of trans people who live in a Japanese-speaking environment. I think it is equally as much of an issue, but presents itself in different forms. For one, Japanese has somewhat gendered ways of speaking, and if you fall out of the norms for what you are perceived as, you might get comments about that. Additionally, a lot of Japanese names (like those ending in -ko) aren’t gender neutral, and in a lot of situations where in English we would use pronouns, in Japanese they use names. Even if you do have a gender neutral name, someone might attach a diminutive honorific which is associated with your agab. If a stranger doesn’t know your name, they might refer to you by “brother” or “sister” and “aunt” or “uncle.” I do think it’s true that people who speak Japanese might be misgendered slightly less if put into an exact number, but as long as it’s once per day or about once per interaction it’s not like it will hurt any less.
I have some questions, I mean absolutely no disrespect i'm just so confused. If anyone could help i'd be really grateful. Why do these people care so much about what people think/ say? especially strangers. From what I understand a non binary person doesn't fit into traditional gender roles, is this correct? if so, why would that matter? saying this as a female who does not remotely subscribe to traditional gender roles, but i'm still a female... I think its really important to show people women can be strong, do 'mens' jobs, men can be emotional, wear makeup if they please etc.
Pronouns are a common courtesy to acknowledge someone's gender identity. It's like being polite to the cashier at the store or calling someone by their name instead of by "Hey you!" To respect peoples pronouns is to be a respectable and honorable person. Of course people have the right not to respect pronouns, but they will also face the social consequences of being rude. Also I'd like to make known that there is a difference between sex and gender. Sex refers to your body (biology), while gender refers to who you are on the inside (psychology). I am a non binary person myself and while I can't speak for all of the non binary community I can say that for me, I'm non binary because I do not fit in the men category, meaning I don't feel like I'm masculine, but I also don't feel like I'm feminine either. And while yes I will always be male, that doesn't make me being nonbinary any less valid. My body doesn't dictate my gender.
@@jadebrooks4440 thank you for your reply! 🙂 don't get me wrong I would absolutely call someone by there preferred pronouns! I work in customer service and will refer to people as lady/ gentleman to be polite... Should I just say person? That feels less polite but more neutral I suppose. It's not like people wear a badge like a cashier wears a name badge. The person in the video who got very upset when people assumed they were a she did look feminine, I can see why strangers wouldn't know.. I think my confusion is because I don't think male has to = masculine, female has to = feminine (meaning gender not sex) and that much sexism occurs from people think that is the case.
@@emiewolfe7850 male and female don't equal masculine or feminine because those words refer to gender and not sex. The best way to stay gender neutral is don't refer to anyone as anything, so instead of saying "may I help you sir" just say "may I help you"
@@jadebrooks4440 okay that's a good point, thanks, its so ingrained into our vocabulary I never realised I might have been offending people. So if male and female doesn't equal masculine or feminine, why is there a need to be non binary? You said you don't feel male because you are not masculine... is it not more important to redefine 'masculine' and feminine' from the rigid and outdated norms rather than avoid them altogether? How are we ever going to get rid of things like toxic masculinity for example, if as soon as someone isn't traditionally masculine, they feel non binary?
But, I thought that "gender identify" and "sexual preference" are two completely different things? I'm a WOMAN and I am STRAIGHT, those are not at all the same. So are we supposed to ask you what gender you are AND if you're gay, straight or bi? Or can we only ask one and not the other? If you were born man and identify as a woman but are also dating someone who was born a woman and identifies as a man, doesn't that make you "straight"? If so, wouldn't you be "appropriating" the lgbt culture?
hmmm it's not really appropriate to ask strangers their sexual identity. Gender Identity and Sexuality are two different things. In most circumstances it's totally OK to ask someone their pronouns so you can address them properly.
I personally am non binary and don’t care if people misgender me tbh but others have different opinions but some people need to realise certain people won’t know your pronouns from just looking at you
People genuinely need to stop caring about others and live their lives. They’re so caught up on what other people think or define them as. Personally I can’t really understand all this shit, but that’s fine cos if you are so sure of what you are your not going to let someone else opinion or a pronoun define you
Can I ask a genuine question; when I want to honour and validate someones identity and they want me to use pronouns that are unfamiliar in that my brain might associate someone with she or he based on my own past experience; are you accepting of the process it takes to change what is often an auto pilot response. Especially when we would not know unless told. Does that make sense?
It's totally fair to ask people their pronouns. And honest mistakes are totally ok! Nobody's perfect. Most people will be understanding as long as you're respectful and committed to learning. Good luck!
yea pronouns are important but i always get confused when ppl say for example "they went to the park" is that a group of ppl or just one person? i think there should be a middle ground pronoun because its important to have pronouns
there’s usually context clues that will tell you if it’s singular or plural, no one just goes ‘they went to the park’ with no explanation of who it was.
honestly it’s really not that confusing. Just like every other word you just go off of context. If you’re talking about a friend of yours and someone says “they are lovely”, you’d just immediately assume they’re talking about a singular person (your friend) because of context. I use they/them pronouns and it has not been an issue at all lol
Is easy to make new genders in english :) also in other languajes no (languajes with grammatical gender) and in spanish they cant understant the masculine is also neutral and there is concret forms from neutral :)
Ive only been to the gynecologist twice just for a check up since the surgery but you need to remember I dont have a uterus or period or ovaries either soo yea
What would you do for you wernt an Anglo? In Quebec we speak French and like all romantic-Latin based language EVERYTHING has a gender.IE: la mutard,le ketchup (mustard is a lady , ketchup is a man) that's the way it is ..... what about people who don't subscribe to American pop culture verbal gentrification or just cultured people with manners??? Not everyone is a spoiled privileged upper middle class Brat that can waste tens of thousands on tuition to study rediculous navel gazing narsacist, courses studying non-sciences ,not related to any tangible profession? Why do we have to accept people that can't accept themselves?? PS until you're all GMO, pumped with unatural harmones,and go through your genital mutation your just a cross dresser ( if it's only existed for 4 years in the 20000-50000l0ds of years of civilization it's not natural)
Sooo, English is not my native language and I'm a little confused about how the Grammer works with this. When I refer to someone as 'they' but it is only one person, are they still singular in a grammatical sense or do they become plural? For example, do I say: "they walk to the staition" and see the person now as plural or do I say: "they walks to the staition" and see the person still as singular?
You can also use they if you don't know the other person. Like if you met a stranger on a site and don't know what gender they are so to not call a girl he you call them they. Hope that clears up things :)
Some people feel that only male gendered pronouns (he/him/his) make sense for them, some people feel that only female gendered pronouns (she/her/hers) make sense for them. Some people don't feel like either make sense for them or both do so they might use gender neutral pronouns (they/them/theirs or xe/xir/xem or ze/zir/zem etc) or a combination of gendered and gender neutral pronouns. We know it can be confusing but it's always good to ask questions and do your research. Hope this helped and good luck!
Okay so hear me out please. I understand that people can be gay, straight, trans, lesbian, bisexual (like myself) etc. But when it comes to pronounce I just don’t feel comfortable using plural pronunciations. You’re 1 person not 2 or 3 etc. I’d like to suggest a pronounce to be invented by the people who feel that they are nothing yet all of them. Makes everything a lot better to understand for future generations I feel. Please feel free to comment, especially if some how I still offended anyone. By all means that wasn’t what I wanted to do ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎💗
If you look in the dictionary, they/them/their can all be used to refer to one person. Just like the word you. For example, if someone left their backpack in a classroom and you didn't know who, you might say, "someone left their backpack. I hope they remember to come back and get it." I understand getting used to using gender neutral pronouns to refer to someone when you do know their name and gender can take some getting used to. I would suggest finding some nonbinary influencers who's content you enjoy and practice referring to them in the third person. My favorite nonbinary influencer is tallykat3. You can also watch super carlin bro's video about who 22 really is. He uses they/them pronouns for 22 during the whole video. But the pronouns you're talking about actually do exist. They're called neopronouns. Some people use them but they actually have more controversy and misunderstandings surrounding them then they/them pronouns so a lot of people don't use them. I really appreciate you trying to not offended anyone. You seem like a lovely person.
If I just met you, how would I know what pronoun to use? Should I ask for it or wait for you to tell me? Do you have to tell what pronoun to address you to every people you meet? This is the confusing part. I'm just curious.
Could someone let me understand? If you’re not binary, how the hell should I call you? You don’t like she you don’t like he. Also in my country I should choose every single word I tell you giving it a gender, how should I call you here? Really can’t get
@@SteveM-pw3rl It varies from person to person, some people feel like male pronouns (he/him) make sense, for some people it's female pronouns (she/her) and for others it's gender neutral pronouns (they/them, xe/xim etc) and for some people it changes over time. It has nothing to do with the gender they were assigned at birth. Most people will be fine with you asking, or you can tell them your pronouns first to make them feel more comfortable. It's also totally ok to mess up and get it wrong sometimes, as long as you're being kind and respectful and trying your best to learn. Hope this helps!
Honestly idgaf I can't see how anyone musters the mental energy to be transphobic. I'm too focused on bettering myself rather than criticising others. If someone wants me to use a pronoun then sure I don't care.
I’m with this to an extent, but non-binary identity isn’t something a lot of people understand yet. It was hardly talked about until 1-2 years ago. Most people who would call a non-binary person he/she would do so out of habit, not disrespect. I personally understand and respect non-binary individuals, but he/she a tough habit to break. If someone you’re not close with misidentifies you, kindly correct them. A worthy and respectful person will apologize and address you correctly from that point on!
Some people identify with male pronouns (he/him/his) some people identify with female pronouns (she/her/hers) but for other people neither of those pronouns make sense because they aren't male or female so they use gender neutral pronouns (they/their/them, xe/xir/xis etc). Some folks will use a combination like she/them because those pronouns both work for them. Hope this helps!
I just want to know if people will get upset in a situation where i’ll say “she” before it was established that someone uses a different pronoun?? I understand everyone wants to get respected but how am I supposed to know!?
Some parents choose to raise their child without a gender until the child can figure out for themselves what their gender is. Other parents choose to assign their child's gender at birth based on their sex and raise the child as that gender. One hopes that if it turns out that child's gender does not match their sex, the parents would be open, loving and respectful.
Fun fact! Trans and gender non-conforming folks have been around basically for as long as there have been people. In some cultures they're celebrated and respected, but for a long time various forms of bigotry and hate forced many people to hide or deny their true selves (though there are plenty of examples of brave people from the 19th and 20th centuries willing to come out and publicly live their truths). Recently, thanks to many activists and allies, society has started to become more accepting of non-cis folks and more and more people feel comfortable coming out and being their authentic selves. It's not perfect yet but things are progressing. So in fact this WAS around when you were growing up (and before you were born too!) people were just afraid to talk about it.
Please someone explain to me what it means to have pronouns they/her? Like idk but are you now female or what? Or only half? This is so complicating and it’s giving me anxiety to speak to people. In our country this doesn’t exist AT ALL. I am so confused
It means you don't identify as a boy or a girl, not a man or a woman. That's what being nonbinary means. You're outside the binary of he or she. I hope this helps. I know it can be complicated or confusing at times and they/them pronouns can take some getting used to, but it is worth it to validate and respect others. I hope this helps. Have a lovely day.
Eh, I don't see why this makes so many people mad. I know nonbinary people who use they/them pronouns and they are perfectly chill people, not sjw's in the slightest.
I just want to know how to use they/their in a sentence. If I want to say “they is walking up tho their car” ? Is the word is correct in this sentence?
Yes they have odd clothing and hair but I don't understand why this makes people so angry. If somebody wants you to call them something specific why not just do it?
Hey, this is their right. As long as they are not hurting anybody, then they should do as they please. If they are my friend and I respect them, then I will use their pronouns. I may not understand it. But as long as they respect the fact that I'm proud to be a woman, I will respect their gender.
I’m starting school next month of course it will be online and since I’m going to have new teachers if they use female pronouns on me I’m gonna tell them I use they/them
i kinda want to ask my mother to refer to me as They/Them etc. (i'm still not 100% on which pronouns i prefer) the only reason i'm hesitant is because she's ✨homophobic✨ and i'm a closeted pan-demi-sexual and i'm starting to think i'm non-binary or multigender since she/her pronouns aren't sounding correct for me :/
(Please press show more) Everyone deserves to have their gender identity 100%. If someone is purposely misgenders you, that's terrible. But if someone accidentally misgenders you, how is that an attack? It might be triggering and you can totally be angry, but how are they supposed to know that you are a she/they/he etc. It might be super ignorant as a cis dude saying this, but correct them and move on. Until the world accepts gender neutral pronouns, it's bound to happen in a lot of situations. Until this idea is passed down and accepted in newer generations, people will misgender you accidentally. But again, if its purposeful, its 100% and attack on you and you 100% have the right to speak out about it. If any non-binary/gender queer/trans people want to correct me or call me out on anything I said, Please do. I'm always looking to learn more and correct some false ideas I may have picked up on.
I don’t think they really meant that unknowingly misgendering is bad. Just that people who do it on purpose are bad. That’s what I got from the video. I hope that one day when people meet someone one of the first things they ask is what’s your pronouns.
I have a question, if your first language is Romance language (French, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Romanian) how would you confirm with gender pronouns in those languages???
As a person who is "trans" Knowing what I am, I cans be miss "pronoun'ed" no one other then ourselves can receive and word as true or false. If one sees me at "this" and another sees me as "that" it's simply either their opinion on the matter even if they are trying to be mean. Back to knowing what I am , sometimes I find it interesting , other times indifferent and still other times I inwardly feel sorry for "angry" people who are/were triggered by me. Whatever pronoun use or my own self image of my personal seeing me, beyond mine , yours or theirs I see everyone as the same pronoun as what I am ...Human ❤️
I'm an efficiency glutton so I'd prefer if we as a society agreed on a universal sexless genderless pronoun that can only refer to one person, such as Ghe. They/Them is vague and confusing in use; it could refer to a group, organization, unknown, or item, ect- and I'd thing the world better off if we did away with its use for a single, known person. Juss my perspective.
@@SeventeenMagazine I think I've heard of those. I'm nervous that they're too foreign sounding to be used regularly, a large part why they/them is so popular (they're words we already use). -Huge kudos for responding!
if people want you to use they/them for themselves like just do it lol why you gotta make it a whole issue; why bully these people who like to be identified in a specific way? It’s almost like a name Let’s respect their individual decisions and move on, we have more problems to solve
3:07 Exactly! That’s exactly how i feel. My family misgenders me when i told (some) of them many many times to stop calling me a lady,woman, and i make it obvious i refer to myself as “they.”
I'm really sorry for you. I hope your family becomes kinder and more accepting and understanding. You are valid. You deserve love and respect. I support you. Although the world still has a lot of problems and problematic people, it is getting better step by step. A trans woman was just elected as a state senater. The future is bright
Don't you people get it that I'm too busy working hard, raising my kids and providing for my family to worry about you you you. You are a bunch of spoiled, entitled and self-absorbed babies who can't stop talking about yourselves. "I was picking at my food with my family and I announced that I am non binary - I don't have a gender". You have never asked your family members about them or their sexuality because only you matters. You have never experienced war or starvation so you are idiots enough to suggest that a word is violent. You all make me sick! You are so stupid and spend all your time thinking about yourself and how your are victimized. When you apply for a job, that is if you have time for working, you will announce in the middle of the interview your identity pronoun and then complain that you didnt get the job because you were discriminated against. You didn't get the job because they are looking for team players, not self centered babies.
I never had to use pronouns when I'm talking to anyone. I normally use the NAMES or "you". And i think pronouns are used when the person is not around and u talk behind the person or addressing someone . I don't think pronouns are that necessary. We need to come up with a proper pronoun for non binary people. Trans people prefer using their transitioned pronouns. Lets respect that and use it. Transwomen prefer she /her Transmen prefer he/him. I think the problem is when non binary people use pronoun they /them which others commonly use to address a group of peoples. The truth : there is phobia(hate) against lgbt community because of orthodox mentality and the people who stand as public figure for the community show off a bad and negative attitude, not to forget social media plays a huge role in making extremists of every community shine high pushing negative thoughts against it.
I though in usa this will be more accepted but I see that expressing your identity irritated some people here as I does in latin america , I just watched a video about this same topic from a Chanel based in Argentina and there were more dislikes and a bunch of horrible comments , wtf people just respect. I supposed you guys ✨.
I thought I was Agender, then a young boy accident called me a he and it just felt right. I was calling my friend and I had asked if they could call me a he and it just felt so nice and pleasant and right to be called a he. I’ve flopped around with labels and I think I’ve finally found mine so here’s my proper introduction. Hallo. I’m Hyena I’m AroAce and I’m FTM transgende I go by he/him they/them. I hope we can all be great friends.
What’s sad is I literally can’t tell if this is a joke or if it’s actually real- If it’s true then hallo, I’m Harper. I’m non binary and my pronouns are they/them ^^
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with all of us. My comment is: the way you use those pronouns, that is not English. Also, how do I know if you are transgender or not? I do not want to offend anyone. Thanks for your time.
they/them are the pronouns since they don't have a gender. and yes we can't tell or recognize a non binary person immediately. therefore when we do know they are non binary, just be respectful and use the given pronouns. have a great day
Singular they/them is definitely still a little colloquial, but it’s similar to how you is used singularly in the second person. Whether someone is trans or not is not something you necessarily have to know about someone unless they want to share (you just need to know their pronouns, so give yours and ask for theirs). Thanks for being open :)
I would be happy to make people who do not identify as female or male happy, and call them whatever they prefer to be called. Everyone deserves to be happy. The trouble is memorizing who identifies as nonbinary, and maybe some day there will be more categories than female, male, non-binary, I think there already are. Before you looked at a person and on 99% you would identify the person correctly if he or she was a female or male by the looks of the person. If we had the name of our gender identity tattooed on our foreheads with the pronouns it would be easy to remember, and everyone would not have to memorize how each person identifies. and the pronoun of the identity. But we don't have this tattooed on our forehead and I am not sure if people would want this tattooed on their foreheads. If we'd have to invent an extensive list of pronouns for other identities, would there be a limit to the list, so that people would have the chance to memorize it? If a person assaulted you and you needed to tell the police if the person looked like a female or a male, would it be politically incorrect to tell the police that it was a he or a she based on the looks of the person ? So isn't gender something that we use to describe how a person looks, not how someone identifies? Like as a person born with a vagina I feel that my personality is also mixed, but I am trying to understand why I would get offended if someone called me a she or a woman. I am afraid of how long the list is going to get, and if people will be sued and bullied for not remembering someone's gender identity, and getting it wrong.
I need a literary device that allows me speak about an individual with an unsexed-ungendered singular pronoun. We have already been using “they” freely as a singular pronoun. Even people who are not supportive of gender neutrality in language, still attempt to do it. More over, for the sake of creativity, I need, nay, require a way to craft an image. I do not need to tell you gender/sex of a singular individual in order for you to be able understand me. In order able to write or discuss what he/hey/she/em/they/thar (made that one up) is doing, I should be able to simply use an unsexed linguistic portal. Unspecifying gender is a creative technique I should be allowed to use. We should concern ourselves with creativity as much as fairness.
I never liked the label "transgender" I always called it my situation cause to me it was a medical situation having the wrong genitalia until I had my surgery and now my body matches my brain & soul... now Im just female Simple
Why is this even a argument I grew up calling my friends and family whatever nickname no matter how stupid because they want to be called that as has most of us but this is so wrong to so many people it's stupid..call people what they go by simple respect
Can ya'll hate in silence tf...as a non-binary person who uses they them pronouns these comments are....painful and sure call me a GIRL or TOO SENSITIVE or OVERREACTING all you want but if i called you a man while you're a girl or a girl while you're a man you would feel uncomfortable and so do i and guess what EVERYONE I'M CLOSE WITH USES THEY/THEM PRONOUNS FOR ME yes including teachers it's not made up search for it theres a thing called google sorry but just.....hate in silence
Fine, I’ll use whatever pronouns you want but how am I supposed to know them? Just ask every single person you encounter? That would make a lot more people uncomfortable than it would prevent from feeling uncomfortable.
Yes, if you are not sure what pronouns to use you can and should ask. You'll not make anyone uncomfortable if they aren't bigots. I am a cis femme woman and I identify as she/her, but if someone would come up to me and ask for my pronouns I would be more than happy to tell them because it should be a normal thing.
If you get it wrong accidentally, then they'll correct you and move on with their lives, most of us don't get overly offended when misgendered as long as you use the correct pronoun after corrected! But if they seem like a more sensitive person, maybe ask just to be safe :D
Also why the hell did you watch this video in the first place if you're not interested in gender pronouns and you say that ThErE ArE oNlY tWo GeNdErS and ThEsE pEoPlE dOn'T kNoW tHe ReAl ViOlEnCe?
Honestly, I think everyone should use the same pronouns (man, woman, non-binary, etc.). There really isn't a good reason to even refer to men and women differently, so it would make things so much simpler and probably better for everyone if we just used a single set of non-gendered pronouns for everyone.
4 роки тому+3
I would never use they them or anything like that!
Do you think gender pronouns are important?
...yes. It’s a broad way of signifying the recipient amongst a multi-sex group. You have a point with non-binary pronouns, but there should be accommodations made, not removed.
Yes!!!
yes
@@greenwizard4524 because intersex people exist
Yes, I do. I am a trans person, and I know from experience that it can be hurtful when people misgender you.
Laughs in Australia. Everyone is “mate”.
Cheers mate!
I call people mate in England 🇬🇧
Laughs in America everyone here is "bro"
😂😂
@@Baconcatboy heey dude 😝👋🏾
This whole gender stuff confuses me, I’m going to watch some documentaries about the universe now.
Same
Same also imma make some homemade oven pizza. If anyone wants a recipe I have one.
That’s fine! At least you’re trying to understand; puts you several rungs above the TERFs. :)
Take a break if you want. Just be conscious that trans people don’t have that option and you’re good
Bro you sound so sweet
The question is how is a stranger supposed to know what you identify as? Not everyone is going to come up to a stranger and ask, "Hey stranger, what are your personal pronouns?" So if a stranger mis-pronouns you that is NOT an act of violence, that is an act of ignorance, they have no knowledge of your personal pronouns. They cannot know unless they are told...I find it interesting how that if someone does mis-pronoun they get attitude and hatred but on the other hand if a stranger comes up and ask, they likewise get attitude or hatred for having the nerve to ask.
I made the mistake about talking about a person I did not know on the street to a friend of mine. I said "That person..." I didn't get to finish before that person was scream at me for saying. They were equating it to me saying "Those people". I apologized which set them off again and again when I asked what they thought a stranger should call them when referencing to another person.
The response was something along the lines of Zer...Still have no idea. They then told me it was rude to even ask.
I then popped off that I was damned if I do and damned if I don't.
They then called me a few words I had to look up later and called me trans and homophobic...I laughed at that and then showed them my tattoo...An infinity sign with the gay flag inside it with three interlinked male signs and three bear paw also with the gay flag on it...I then said I am not gay or trans phobic, just the terminology has changed in the 32 years plus since I came out and I haven't kept up.
I then told them to either educate me or leave me the hell alone...
They walked away.
that was rude of them. asking someone's pronouns is NOT rude. if you're not sure about someone's pronouns, just use they/them.
I'm sorry you had to meet one of the few incredibly rude and insane people in this community, 99% of the time if you misgender someone by accident they will politely let you know their correct pronouns and thats it, they don't make a deal of it. I personally give people many chances because I know that it's hard to remember new pronouns for someone, so as long as they are actually making some effort to use my pronouns then if the slip up once in a while I don't mind because I understand that it's just a mistake and not them intentionally trying to misgender and invalidate me
This is my exact opinion as well
I thought "they/ their/ them" means more then one person
it also means one if you dont know the gender or (in this case) prefer those pronouns
Who are you calling they/their/them...? Lol jk I'm with ya
Sparkle not always with
It can be
Come off it; you probably use singular "they/their/them" all the time.
When did mullets come back in style? Seems to be a non-binary hair trend that's non-negotiable.
But are we mad about it? I mean I wish I could pull it off
IKR?
@@user-cc1sy6uu1e Honestly come to Australia , 🇦🇺 mullets a re oddly popular here like everywhere
I know non-binary folks that don’t have mullets.
How does this happen? This is a serious question. Why do some people feel disconnected to traditional genders? Why does a person identify as something new? Please I'm curious.
Traditional gender roles are quite restrictive in terms of the expressions they come with. I think it's pretty easy to see why people wouldn't want to feel so limited.
@@뻔뻔하게노라 But that doesn't fully answer the question. I know for myself I was a born a man and I identify as man but I express certain "feminine" things. I love to cook, sew, I'm more agreeable and nurturing, etc. So I don't feel like there are too many restrictions on expression. My question is more about gender dsyphoria. What causes a person to feel like they were born in the wrong body?
@@andrewthehope as far as I understand, gender dysphoria often encompasses both of those things, feeling out of place in terms of gender roles/norms (social dysphoria) and in terms of your own body (body dysphoria). And for the latter, I can't tell you what causes it, and I assume even trans people themselves and scientists can't. It's definitely a very interesting question!
I am trying to learn English.
Leave me alone.
Alix then pronouns are actually a good place to star such as the singular use of they/them and theirs
Hey! English is not my first language, and I am therefore a bit confused. Female: "she is beautiful" Male: "he is beautiful"
Non-binary "they is beautiful"? Idk the sentence sounds a bit off to me. Am I correct or how do I use the pronoun.
But won't it be in plural then?
Not necessarily
+Agnes Hartwich Pedersen I'm confused too, but they didn't say how they would really like to be addressed...
they and them can be singular or plural. like in french when "elle" means she/them singular and "elles" means she/them plural
+MDane9 Don't you usually refer to they/them when you really don't know exactly who it is? For example, someone calls on the phone and you are telling someone about it, so you say "They said they wanted to sell me something". In that case the pronoun they/them would work because, even though it was just a person, we don't really know who it was. However, in this case if you're talking to a friend about this other friend, you both know the person... wouldn't it be weird and confusing to say "They wanted to go to the cinema instead of the gym".
Unpopular Opinion: If anyone's got a problem with anyone telling you something, don't talk to them. And well you might feel whatever you want to feel and think the same way, but you cannot and shall no force your thinking upon others! Not a leftist, neither right, just a classical liberal!
Laugh in korea. Everyone is "shibalsaeki"
아 ㄹㅇㅋㅋ
I have a legitimate question, and I’m not trying to be a total jerk. If someone wants to use they/them pronouns, are we supposed to say “they are” and be grammatically correct, or are we supposed to say “they is” and throw all rules out the window but keep it singular? It gets so difficult because in school they teach to not say “they are” when talking about one person because it is technically wrong. However, when people choose to identify that way, what forms of verbs are we to use?
I'm nonbinary, they/them/theirs can be used to talk about a single person. You'd say "they are" not "they is." :) Thank you for being respectful!
if it's a spectrum,it's still between male and female, and nonbinary refers to not on the binary, so how can something be nonbinary when it's still on the binary spectrum?
laugh in Malaysia. Everyone is "kau"
Kau gilo
@specticent SAME BUT BENGALI everything iS O so no pronouns lol
@specticent Same in Bengali. Everyone is O regardless of gender.
so are we saying i have to ask what pronoun to use before referring to "that person over there"?
No. You can say "they" (although I understand some people don't like to say they/them), avoid using pronouns, or use "he" or "she" based on what is observable. Really, the only issue is when someone is told another person's pronouns and continues to intentionally use the wrong ones, because that's disrespectful (although I have to disagree with the video - hearing the wrong pronouns can sting, but it certainly isn't severe enough to describe it as an act of violence).
I just see people insecure about their gender oooops I mean “them”
What? This sentence makes no sense. You used “their” then tried to make a joke and “Correct” yourself with using “them”?..? News flash they them theirs are all plural/ gender neutral pronouns. Their and them aren’t different except for grammar and context. Jesus Christ
@@zstar8969 😂
Being insecure about your gender doesn’t invalidate you
When I ask someone what’s their gender, it gives off disrespectful vibes to me. I wouldn’t want someone asking wtf am I. So the whole “assuming gender” thing, is way too difficult. I’m a female. I’m a girl. I look like it (I think), wtf are you gonna do, ya know? Just correct them.
We hear you! It might feel awkward at first. You can try asking them what pronouns they use. You can also introduce yourself with your own pronouns as a way to make them feel more comfortable telling you theirs. Hope this helps!
Gender pronouns in Chinese are not an issue at all. Whether referring to a female or male, both sets of pronouns sound exactly the same in Mandarin Chinese. The spoken language doesn’t distinguish between male or female.
However, the written language does distinguish between female and male.
Mandarin Chinese Characters:
他 Tā（He）
她 Tā（She）
他的 Tā de（His）
她的 Tā de（Her）
你 Nǐ（You, male）
妳 Nǐ（You, female）
Now, when referring to someone who is transgender, nonbinary, and/or doesn’t identify as a male or female, the solution is simple. Spoken pronouns sound the same, so that’s taken care of. Written pronouns use the default form:
他 Tā (He)
他的 Tā de (His)
你 Nǐ (You, male)
Why are “male” pronouns considered to be the default? That’s because the composition of those characters are inherently neutral. Notice how each of the “male” pronouns contain “亻” on the left:
“He” 亻 + 也 = 他
“His” 亻 + 也 = 他(的)
“You” 亻 + 尔 = 你
This “亻” component (AKA semantic radical) means “Person” (人). Therefore, since these pronouns all contain a component which means “Person”, transgender/non-binary people are referred to using these inherently neutral written characters because in the end, everybody is a person!
How about female pronouns?
她 Tā（She）
她的 Tā de（Her）
妳 Nǐ（You, female）
They all contain the “女” component (semantic radical) on the left, meaning “woman, female, girl”. These female pronoun characters were created in the 20th century to distinguish females from males in writing. These written characters are only used when referring to females; that’s progressive thinking!
In Cantonese, another widely-spoken variety of Chinese, both pronouns also sound the exact same. Like Mandarin, their written forms also vary.
Cantonese Chinese Characters:
佢 Köi（He）
姖 Köi（She）
佢嘅 Köi ge（His）
姖嘅 Köi ge（Her）
你 Néi（You, male）
妳 Néi（You, female）
As you can see, they also use the “亻” Person radical and the “女” Female radical. From our observations on two major Chinese languages/dialects, we can infer that nearly all dialects of Chinese (of which there are hundreds) share the same system when dealing with pronouns!
In conclusion, the Chinese language is great in that it easily solves the gender pronoun problem English faces, and also distinguishes females from males in the written language.
Is it okay to call them "fam"?
AYYYYEEEE. Yea I think it is
y do they all have da same haircut
Ok here my opinion on the whole “not using someone’s pronouns is violence” thing. (I’m a trans man btw)
So I think if you aren’t doing something on purpose you aren’t committing a hate crime. Like, if you accidentally misgender someone you’re not and evil transphobic bigot, but like if you purposely misgender someone then you’re kind of an asshole.
Also I don’t personally believe that there’s a million different genders, I think that there are two main binary genders and that not everyone falls onto either of them.
Keep in mind that this is just my opinion and that you don’t have to agree (so pls don’t hate me)
U seem nice 😊
@@17MrLeon Well actually a lot of trans people are really tolerant to people who misgender them. It can be disheartening for them to hear, but most trans people are understanding and won't take it personally. This video sucks because it makes all transgenders look like fragile snowflakes, but that isn't the case at all. I think it's unfair for people to bash transgenders, especially when they aren't hurting anyone or anything. You could argue that it hurts their loved ones, but that's really not the trans person's issue. If it makes them happy, leave them alone. You don't have to actively support it, just leave it be. Most of the time, they'll do the same for you
I don't go out of my way to misgender or disrespect trans people but I also won't go out of my way to have to consciously try to alter my speech mid-sentence to make them happy. I would treat trans people just like I treat everybody, with no grammatical considerations.
I’m curious, what if someone, who happened to be trans, was being very disrespectful to me, and calling me names, when I didn’t even do anything? Would I still have to respect them? I mean, this is hypothetical, because I don’t personally know any trans people who are assholes, but if I met someone, what do I do? Do I take the disrespect and call it a day, or...?
a binary is by definition something with only two options, the fact that you are acknowledging that not everyone falls into the two options means you are acknowledging that it is not a binary
One body equals one person. They means more than one body. Unless you have a siamese twin growing out of you, there's no they/them.
I understand being non-binary. I also understand being trans. But I cannot understand how you can be transgender and not have a gender.
Transgender can refer to anyone who is not cisgender, including trans men, trans women, non-binary and gender fluid folks and so on.
There is no diffrent pronouns for gender in the languages of the region I live ( Bangla, Hindi, urdu, etc).
I've been wondering lately if misgendering is less of an issue with languages that don't or rarely use pronouns while addressing a person or talking about them (such as Korean which I'm learning right now). Since pronouns in Korean for example, exist but don't come up much in everyday conversation and aren't relevant to a person's identity as much , I wonder if it causes less psychological distress or gender dysphoria to non-cis identifying native speakers of Korean, and isn't as much of an issue? I'd like to hear people's opinion on this.
I’m not a native speaker of Japanese, but I speak it pretty well and have read some of the stories and experiences of trans people who live in a Japanese-speaking environment.
I think it is equally as much of an issue, but presents itself in different forms. For one, Japanese has somewhat gendered ways of speaking, and if you fall out of the norms for what you are perceived as, you might get comments about that. Additionally, a lot of Japanese names (like those ending in -ko) aren’t gender neutral, and in a lot of situations where in English we would use pronouns, in Japanese they use names. Even if you do have a gender neutral name, someone might attach a diminutive honorific which is associated with your agab. If a stranger doesn’t know your name, they might refer to you by “brother” or “sister” and “aunt” or “uncle.” I do think it’s true that people who speak Japanese might be misgendered slightly less if put into an exact number, but as long as it’s once per day or about once per interaction it’s not like it will hurt any less.
@@はなびがく花火学 Hey there, Im Japanese, but I moved to the USA when I was 3. Is this type of “misgendering” and “pronouns” a thing there?
I have some questions, I mean absolutely no disrespect i'm just so confused. If anyone could help i'd be really grateful.
Why do these people care so much about what people think/ say? especially strangers.
From what I understand a non binary person doesn't fit into traditional gender roles, is this correct? if so, why would that matter? saying this as a female who does not remotely subscribe to traditional gender roles, but i'm still a female... I think its really important to show people women can be strong, do 'mens' jobs, men can be emotional, wear makeup if they please etc.
Pronouns are a common courtesy to acknowledge someone's gender identity. It's like being polite to the cashier at the store or calling someone by their name instead of by "Hey you!" To respect peoples pronouns is to be a respectable and honorable person. Of course people have the right not to respect pronouns, but they will also face the social consequences of being rude. Also I'd like to make known that there is a difference between sex and gender. Sex refers to your body (biology), while gender refers to who you are on the inside (psychology). I am a non binary person myself and while I can't speak for all of the non binary community I can say that for me, I'm non binary because I do not fit in the men category, meaning I don't feel like I'm masculine, but I also don't feel like I'm feminine either. And while yes I will always be male, that doesn't make me being nonbinary any less valid. My body doesn't dictate my gender.
@@jadebrooks4440 thank you for your reply! 🙂 don't get me wrong I would absolutely call someone by there preferred pronouns! I work in customer service and will refer to people as lady/ gentleman to be polite... Should I just say person? That feels less polite but more neutral I suppose. It's not like people wear a badge like a cashier wears a name badge. The person in the video who got very upset when people assumed they were a she did look feminine, I can see why strangers wouldn't know.. I think my confusion is because I don't think male has to = masculine, female has to = feminine (meaning gender not sex) and that much sexism occurs from people think that is the case.
@@emiewolfe7850 male and female don't equal masculine or feminine because those words refer to gender and not sex. The best way to stay gender neutral is don't refer to anyone as anything, so instead of saying "may I help you sir" just say "may I help you"
@@jadebrooks4440 okay that's a good point, thanks, its so ingrained into our vocabulary I never realised I might have been offending people. So if male and female doesn't equal masculine or feminine, why is there a need to be non binary? You said you don't feel male because you are not masculine... is it not more important to redefine 'masculine' and feminine' from the rigid and outdated norms rather than avoid them altogether? How are we ever going to get rid of things like toxic masculinity for example, if as soon as someone isn't traditionally masculine, they feel non binary?
or not necessarily non binary, but feel less 'male' just because they are not 'traditionally' masculine
But, I thought that "gender identify" and "sexual preference" are two completely different things? I'm a WOMAN and I am STRAIGHT, those are not at all the same. So are we supposed to ask you what gender you are AND if you're gay, straight or bi? Or can we only ask one and not the other? If you were born man and identify as a woman but are also dating someone who was born a woman and identifies as a man, doesn't that make you "straight"? If so, wouldn't you be "appropriating" the lgbt culture?
hmmm it's not really appropriate to ask strangers their sexual identity. Gender Identity and Sexuality are two different things. In most circumstances it's totally OK to ask someone their pronouns so you can address them properly.
I'm non-binary but I couldn't care less is people still call me he/him
I personally am non binary and don’t care if people misgender me tbh but others have different opinions but some people need to realise certain people won’t know your pronouns from just looking at you
People genuinely need to stop caring about others and live their lives. They’re so caught up on what other people think or define them as. Personally I can’t really understand all this shit, but that’s fine cos if you are so sure of what you are your not going to let someone else opinion or a pronoun define you
@@KK-jk6nl that is true but also many get gender dysphoria so they need to tell people what pronouns they use
I just call everyone a they, while calling them people.
Not a bad idea
My pronouns are " ME, MYSELF and I". I am glad I have no children , so , après moi le déluge , the world would be a total mess.
Can I ask a genuine question; when I want to honour and validate someones identity and they want me to use pronouns that are unfamiliar in that my brain might associate someone with she or he based on my own past experience; are you accepting of the process it takes to change what is often an auto pilot response. Especially when we would not know unless told. Does that make sense?
It's totally fair to ask people their pronouns. And honest mistakes are totally ok! Nobody's perfect. Most people will be understanding as long as you're respectful and committed to learning. Good luck!
yea pronouns are important but i always get confused when ppl say for example "they went to the park" is that a group of ppl or just one person? i think there should be a middle ground pronoun because its important to have pronouns
You can just sat,y, they all went to the park. I have plenty of trans friends, this has never been an issue
generally when using gender neutral pronouns i just use their name a lot along side they/them just to clarify that that's who i'm speaking of
there’s usually context clues that will tell you if it’s singular or plural, no one just goes ‘they went to the park’ with no explanation of who it was.
Context clues. It’s like singular and plural you, it just takes a wee bit of work :)
honestly it’s really not that confusing. Just like every other word you just go off of context. If you’re talking about a friend of yours and someone says “they are lovely”, you’d just immediately assume they’re talking about a singular person (your friend) because of context. I use they/them pronouns and it has not been an issue at all lol
I am non-binary
And I don't care what ppl call me whether it is a he, she, or they.
Is easy to make new genders in english :) also in other languajes no (languajes with grammatical gender) and in spanish they cant understant the masculine is also neutral and there is concret forms from neutral :)
Yes, in spanish *su* and *sus* are neutral pronouns
Laughs in Yoruba. Everyone is "omo"
This is the one😂💔
Ive only been to the gynecologist twice just for a check up since the surgery but you need to remember I dont have a uterus or period or ovaries either soo yea
Twitter Liked This Video
@@TheLightShines +1
I wonder what they'll be like as old people.
What would you do for you wernt an Anglo? In Quebec we speak French and like all romantic-Latin based language EVERYTHING has a gender.IE: la mutard,le ketchup (mustard is a lady , ketchup is a man) that's the way it is ..... what about people who don't subscribe to American pop culture verbal gentrification or just cultured people with manners??? Not everyone is a spoiled privileged upper middle class Brat that can waste tens of thousands on tuition to study rediculous navel gazing narsacist, courses studying non-sciences ,not related to any tangible profession? Why do we have to accept people that can't accept themselves?? PS until you're all GMO, pumped with unatural harmones,and go through your genital mutation your just a cross dresser ( if it's only existed for 4 years in the 20000-50000l0ds of years of civilization it's not natural)
We only have one 3rd person pronoun in my language and it is "O".
Turkish
Sooo, English is not my native language and I'm a little confused about how the Grammer works with this. When I refer to someone as 'they' but it is only one person, are they still singular in a grammatical sense or do they become plural? For example, do I say: "they walk to the staition" and see the person now as plural or do I say: "they walks to the staition" and see the person still as singular?
For conjugation (which I believe is the right word) you keep it plural. "They walk to the store"
You can also use they if you don't know the other person. Like if you met a stranger on a site and don't know what gender they are so to not call a girl he you call them they. Hope that clears up things :)
Okay what is a the definition of “they/them” or xyz I’m so confused
Some people feel that only male gendered pronouns (he/him/his) make sense for them, some people feel that only female gendered pronouns (she/her/hers) make sense for them. Some people don't feel like either make sense for them or both do so they might use gender neutral pronouns (they/them/theirs or xe/xir/xem or ze/zir/zem etc) or a combination of gendered and gender neutral pronouns. We know it can be confusing but it's always good to ask questions and do your research. Hope this helped and good luck!
Okay so hear me out please.
I understand that people can be gay, straight, trans, lesbian, bisexual (like myself) etc.
But when it comes to pronounce I just don’t feel comfortable using plural pronunciations. You’re 1 person not 2 or 3 etc.
I’d like to suggest a pronounce to be invented by the people who feel that they are nothing yet all of them.
Makes everything a lot better to understand for future generations I feel.
Please feel free to comment, especially if some how I still offended anyone. By all means that wasn’t what I wanted to do
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎💗
If you look in the dictionary, they/them/their can all be used to refer to one person. Just like the word you. For example, if someone left their backpack in a classroom and you didn't know who, you might say, "someone left their backpack. I hope they remember to come back and get it." I understand getting used to using gender neutral pronouns to refer to someone when you do know their name and gender can take some getting used to. I would suggest finding some nonbinary influencers who's content you enjoy and practice referring to them in the third person. My favorite nonbinary influencer is tallykat3. You can also watch super carlin bro's video about who 22 really is. He uses they/them pronouns for 22 during the whole video.
But the pronouns you're talking about actually do exist. They're called neopronouns. Some people use them but they actually have more controversy and misunderstandings surrounding them then they/them pronouns so a lot of people don't use them. I really appreciate you trying to not offended anyone. You seem like a lovely person.
I can't wait to watch this one once my kids go to sleep.
Be happy and safe all of you out there in any age.
If I just met you, how would I know what pronoun to use? Should I ask for it or wait for you to tell me? Do you have to tell what pronoun to address you to every people you meet? This is the confusing part. I'm just curious.
You can ask, but give yours first to make others comfortable :)
I identify myself as a man, you can call me he or him, does that offend you, or they, or them?
why would it offend anybody? Happy you're discovering the importance of pronouns!
Could someone let me understand? If you’re not binary, how the hell should I call you? You don’t like she you don’t like he.
Also in my country I should choose every single word I tell you giving it a gender, how should I call you here?
Really can’t get
They/them are the most commonly used pronouns for non-binary people.
I don't get it, so a biological woman might want to be called he, and a biological male, might choose to be called she, is that what this is about?
@Shreeya Penugona So what do they want people to refer to them as?
@@SteveM-pw3rl It varies from person to person, some people feel like male pronouns (he/him) make sense, for some people it's female pronouns (she/her) and for others it's gender neutral pronouns (they/them, xe/xim etc) and for some people it changes over time. It has nothing to do with the gender they were assigned at birth. Most people will be fine with you asking, or you can tell them your pronouns first to make them feel more comfortable. It's also totally ok to mess up and get it wrong sometimes, as long as you're being kind and respectful and trying your best to learn. Hope this helps!
There is already a gender- neutral pronoun from almost 200 years ago, 'thon'. It is still used today in some Irish and Scottish demographics
Honestly idgaf I can't see how anyone musters the mental energy to be transphobic. I'm too focused on bettering myself rather than criticising others. If someone wants me to use a pronoun then sure I don't care.
I’m with this to an extent, but non-binary identity isn’t something a lot of people understand yet. It was hardly talked about until 1-2 years ago. Most people who would call a non-binary person he/she would do so out of habit, not disrespect. I personally understand and respect non-binary individuals, but he/she a tough habit to break. If someone you’re not close with misidentifies you, kindly correct them. A worthy and respectful person will apologize and address you correctly from that point on!
You're absolutely right it is a hard habit to break! The best approach is to be respectful of all people and do your best to keep learning.
What are they trying to say? 😕😕😕
I'm a male.
Can someone explain what people mean with calling themselves they or their
Some people identify with male pronouns (he/him/his) some people identify with female pronouns (she/her/hers) but for other people neither of those pronouns make sense because they aren't male or female so they use gender neutral pronouns (they/their/them, xe/xir/xis etc). Some folks will use a combination like she/them because those pronouns both work for them. Hope this helps!
I don’t care much about my own pronouns but i try not to assume genders tho it might accidentally happen sometimes-
I just want to know if people will get upset in a situation where i’ll say “she” before it was established that someone uses a different pronoun?? I understand everyone wants to get respected but how am I supposed to know!?
It's totally ok to ask in most situations! Good luck!
How should I call you?
Call me maybe
when you deliver a baby, what should the midwife tell you? just curious
Some parents choose to raise their child without a gender until the child can figure out for themselves what their gender is. Other parents choose to assign their child's gender at birth based on their sex and raise the child as that gender. One hopes that if it turns out that child's gender does not match their sex, the parents would be open, loving and respectful.
I thought “they” and “them” were plural pronouns.
Who left *their* bag here?
Did *they* really do that?
What's *their* name again?
@@bigtoes475 i usually use thy and them to people online who i do not know if they are a male or female.
✨Research✨
Honest question. This kind of thing was not around when I was growing up. When did this whole pronoun thing begin?
Fun fact! Trans and gender non-conforming folks have been around basically for as long as there have been people. In some cultures they're celebrated and respected, but for a long time various forms of bigotry and hate forced many people to hide or deny their true selves (though there are plenty of examples of brave people from the 19th and 20th centuries willing to come out and publicly live their truths). Recently, thanks to many activists and allies, society has started to become more accepting of non-cis folks and more and more people feel comfortable coming out and being their authentic selves. It's not perfect yet but things are progressing. So in fact this WAS around when you were growing up (and before you were born too!) people were just afraid to talk about it.
Must be tough to be nonbinary
Please someone explain to me what it means to have pronouns they/her? Like idk but are you now female or what? Or only half? This is so complicating and it’s giving me anxiety to speak to people. In our country this doesn’t exist AT ALL. I am so confused
It means you don't identify as a boy or a girl, not a man or a woman. That's what being nonbinary means. You're outside the binary of he or she. I hope this helps. I know it can be complicated or confusing at times and they/them pronouns can take some getting used to, but it is worth it to validate and respect others. I hope this helps. Have a lovely day.
Eh, I don't see why this makes so many people mad. I know nonbinary people who use they/them pronouns and they are perfectly chill people, not sjw's in the slightest.
Same, non-binary people are cool folks.
However, they ARE also gods, as you ought to know by know, so offending them puts YOUR life at risk.
I just want to know how to use they/their in a sentence. If I want to say “they is walking up tho their car” ? Is the word is correct in this sentence?
Tysm for actually trying and not being toxic like the other people in the comments but no it would be "they are walking up to their car"
Yes they have odd clothing and hair but I don't understand why this makes people so angry. If somebody wants you to call them something specific why not just do it?
Hey, this is their right. As long as they are not hurting anybody, then they should do as they please. If they are my friend and I respect them, then I will use their pronouns. I may not understand it. But as long as they respect the fact that I'm proud to be a woman, I will respect their gender.
I’m starting school next month of course it will be online and since I’m going to have new teachers if they use female pronouns on me I’m gonna tell them I use they/them
how did it go? i know this is a few months later, but i'd still like to know, cuz i hope it went well
i kinda want to ask my mother to refer to me as They/Them etc. (i'm still not 100% on which pronouns i prefer) the only reason i'm hesitant is because she's ✨homophobic✨ and i'm a closeted pan-demi-sexual and i'm starting to think i'm non-binary or multigender since she/her pronouns aren't sounding correct for me :/
Good luck on your journey!
(Please press show more) Everyone deserves to have their gender identity 100%. If someone is purposely misgenders you, that's terrible. But if someone accidentally misgenders you, how is that an attack? It might be triggering and you can totally be angry, but how are they supposed to know that you are a she/they/he etc. It might be super ignorant as a cis dude saying this, but correct them and move on. Until the world accepts gender neutral pronouns, it's bound to happen in a lot of situations. Until this idea is passed down and accepted in newer generations, people will misgender you accidentally. But again, if its purposeful, its 100% and attack on you and you 100% have the right to speak out about it. If any non-binary/gender queer/trans people want to correct me or call me out on anything I said, Please do. I'm always looking to learn more and correct some false ideas I may have picked up on.
I don’t think they really meant that unknowingly misgendering is bad. Just that people who do it on purpose are bad. That’s what I got from the video. I hope that one day when people meet someone one of the first things they ask is what’s your pronouns.
I have a question, if your first language is Romance language (French, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Romanian) how would you confirm with gender pronouns in those languages???
Some folks use masculine, some use both, and some use neopronouns
Guys im a he/them am I referred to as a boy or a girl?
Oooo there's a term for that its called demiboy 🥰
As a person who is "trans"
Knowing what I am, I cans be miss "pronoun'ed" no one other then ourselves can receive and word as true or false.
If one sees me at "this" and another sees me as "that" it's simply either their opinion on the matter even if they are trying to be mean.
Back to knowing what I am , sometimes I find it interesting , other times indifferent and still other times I inwardly feel sorry for "angry" people who are/were triggered by me.
Whatever pronoun use or my own self image of my personal seeing me, beyond mine , yours or theirs I see everyone as the same pronoun as what I am ...Human ❤️
I'm an efficiency glutton so I'd prefer if we as a society agreed on a universal sexless genderless pronoun that can only refer to one person, such as Ghe.
They/Them is vague and confusing in use; it could refer to a group, organization, unknown, or item, ect- and I'd thing the world better off if we did away with its use for a single, known person.
Juss my perspective.
Some people use xe/xim or ze/zim, which is similar to your idea. But some people just feel comfortable with they/them.
@@SeventeenMagazine I think I've heard of those. I'm nervous that they're too foreign sounding to be used regularly, a large part why they/them is so popular (they're words we already use).
-Huge kudos for responding!
if people want you to use they/them for themselves like just do it lol why you gotta make it a whole issue; why bully these people who like to be identified in a specific way? It’s almost like a name
Let’s respect their individual decisions and move on, we have more problems to solve
3:07
Exactly! That’s exactly how i feel. My family misgenders me when i told (some) of them many many times to stop calling me a lady,woman, and i make it obvious i refer to myself as “they.”
I'm really sorry for you. I hope your family becomes kinder and more accepting and understanding. You are valid. You deserve love and respect. I support you. Although the world still has a lot of problems and problematic people, it is getting better step by step. A trans woman was just elected as a state senater. The future is bright
@@emmathe82nd thank you for that
Ok it worked I’m shocked so be happy !
Don't you people get it that I'm too busy working hard, raising my kids and providing for my family to worry about you you you. You are a bunch of spoiled, entitled and self-absorbed babies who can't stop talking about yourselves. "I was picking at my food with my family and I announced that I am non binary - I don't have a gender". You have never asked your family members about them or their sexuality because only you matters. You have never experienced war or starvation so you are idiots enough to suggest that a word is violent. You all make me sick! You are so stupid and spend all your time thinking about yourself and how your are victimized. When you apply for a job, that is if you have time for working, you will announce in the middle of the interview your identity pronoun and then complain that you didnt get the job because you were discriminated against. You didn't get the job because they are looking for team players, not self centered babies.
I never had to use pronouns when I'm talking to anyone. I normally use the NAMES or "you". And i think pronouns are used when the person is not around and u talk behind the person or addressing someone . I don't think pronouns are that necessary.
We need to come up with a proper pronoun for non binary people.
Trans people prefer using their transitioned pronouns. Lets respect that and use it. Transwomen prefer she /her
Transmen prefer he/him.
I think the problem is when non binary people use pronoun they /them which others commonly use to address a group of peoples. The truth : there is phobia(hate) against lgbt community because of orthodox mentality and the people who stand as public figure for the community show off a bad and negative attitude, not to forget social media plays a huge role in making extremists of every community shine high pushing negative thoughts against it.
I though in usa this will be more accepted but I see that expressing your identity irritated some people here as I does in latin america , I just watched a video about this same topic from a Chanel based in Argentina and there were more dislikes and a bunch of horrible comments , wtf people just respect. I supposed you guys ✨.
Thank you for having human decency, jfc. ✌️😌
I thought I was Agender, then a young boy accident called me a he and it just felt right.
I was calling my friend and I had asked if they could call me a he and it just felt so nice and pleasant and right to be called a he.
I’ve flopped around with labels and I think I’ve finally found mine so here’s my proper introduction.
Hallo. I’m Hyena I’m AroAce and I’m FTM transgende I go by he/him they/them. I hope we can all be great friends.
What’s sad is I literally can’t tell if this is a joke or if it’s actually real-
If it’s true then hallo, I’m Harper. I’m non binary and my pronouns are they/them ^^
That's cool! You're very valid!
I looked back at this now there isnt really anything wrong with the video so why is it so hated
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with all of us.
My comment is: the way you use those pronouns, that is not English.
Also, how do I know if you are transgender or not? I do not want to offend anyone. Thanks for your time.
they/them are the pronouns since they don't have a gender. and yes we can't tell or recognize a non binary person immediately. therefore when we do know they are non binary, just be respectful and use the given pronouns. have a great day
Singular they/them is definitely still a little colloquial, but it’s similar to how you is used singularly in the second person.
Whether someone is trans or not is not something you necessarily have to know about someone unless they want to share (you just need to know their pronouns, so give yours and ask for theirs).
Thanks for being open :)
I would be happy to make people who do not identify as female or male happy, and call them whatever they prefer to be called. Everyone deserves to be happy. The trouble is memorizing who identifies as nonbinary, and maybe some day there will be more categories than female, male, non-binary, I think there already are. Before you looked at a person and on 99% you would identify the person correctly if he or she was a female or male by the looks of the person. If we had the name of our gender identity tattooed on our foreheads with the pronouns it would be easy to remember, and everyone would not have to memorize how each person identifies. and the pronoun of the identity. But we don't have this tattooed on our forehead and I am not sure if people would want this tattooed on their foreheads. If we'd have to invent an extensive list of pronouns for other identities, would there be a limit to the list, so that people would have the chance to memorize it? If a person assaulted you and you needed to tell the police if the person looked like a female or a male, would it be politically incorrect to tell the police that it was a he or a she based on the looks of the person ? So isn't gender something that we use to describe how a person looks, not how someone identifies? Like as a person born with a vagina I feel that my personality is also mixed, but I am trying to understand why I would get offended if someone called me a she or a woman. I am afraid of how long the list is going to get, and if people will be sued and bullied for not remembering someone's gender identity, and getting it wrong.
yes, they do!
haha just kidding
I’m agender but don’t care what pronouns u use for me, is that ok
Just one question how to know which correct pronoun to use for whom.
just ask and they'll let you know :)
I need a literary device that allows me speak about an individual with an unsexed-ungendered singular pronoun. We have already been using “they” freely as a singular pronoun. Even people who are not supportive of gender neutrality in language, still attempt to do it. More over, for the sake of creativity, I need, nay, require a way to craft an image. I do not need to tell you gender/sex of a singular individual in order for you to be able understand me. In order able to write or discuss what he/hey/she/em/they/thar (made that one up) is doing, I should be able to simply use an unsexed linguistic portal. Unspecifying gender is a creative technique I should be allowed to use. We should concern ourselves with creativity as much as fairness.
I never liked the label "transgender" I always called it my situation cause to me it was a medical situation having the wrong genitalia until I had my surgery and now my body matches my brain & soul... now Im just female Simple
Why is this even a argument I grew up calling my friends and family whatever nickname no matter how stupid because they want to be called that as has most of us but this is so wrong to so many people it's stupid..call people what they go by simple respect
Thank you neonhair, very cool
Can ya'll hate in silence tf...as a non-binary person who uses they them pronouns these comments are....painful and sure call me a GIRL or TOO SENSITIVE or OVERREACTING all you want but if i called you a man while you're a girl or a girl while you're a man you would feel uncomfortable and so do i and guess what EVERYONE I'M CLOSE WITH USES THEY/THEM PRONOUNS FOR ME yes including teachers it's not made up search for it theres a thing called google sorry but just.....hate in silence
Fine, I’ll use whatever pronouns you want but how am I supposed to know them? Just ask every single person you encounter? That would make a lot more people uncomfortable than it would prevent from feeling uncomfortable.
Yes, if you aren't sure then always ask
Yes, if you are not sure what pronouns to use you can and should ask. You'll not make anyone uncomfortable if they aren't bigots. I am a cis femme woman and I identify as she/her, but if someone would come up to me and ask for my pronouns I would be more than happy to tell them because it should be a normal thing.
If you get it wrong accidentally, then they'll correct you and move on with their lives, most of us don't get overly offended when misgendered as long as you use the correct pronoun after corrected! But if they seem like a more sensitive person, maybe ask just to be safe :D
Also why the hell did you watch this video in the first place if you're not interested in gender pronouns and you say that ThErE ArE oNlY tWo GeNdErS and ThEsE pEoPlE dOn'T kNoW tHe ReAl ViOlEnCe?
Honestly, I think everyone should use the same pronouns (man, woman, non-binary, etc.). There really isn't a good reason to even refer to men and women differently, so it would make things so much simpler and probably better for everyone if we just used a single set of non-gendered pronouns for everyone.
I would never use they them or anything like that!
This video was very helpful thank you so much but I have a question is I use she her they them would I class as a non binary person
You don’t have to use they/them pronouns to be nonbinary
Yea I’m non-binary but my mom still calls me she
Plz don't misgender me thx