BOUNDARIES IN DATING | physical, emotional & spiritual pt 1

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  • Опубліковано 3 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 634

  • @ToriAndChad
    @ToriAndChad  4 роки тому +294

    Hey! We know this is a long video but encourage yall to watch as much as you can as we go over a ton of info! Thanks for supporting us!

    • @shwetav
      @shwetav 4 роки тому +17

      Loonngg is good.. you have no idea how good it feels to soak up each second of your sharings! Why do Mondays and Wednesdays come so early and the next Monday feels soooo farr!! :(

    • @ToriAndChad
      @ToriAndChad  4 роки тому +10

      hahah it honestly does feel super far away

    • @soumiliray1522
      @soumiliray1522 4 роки тому +6

      LOVEEE the long videos!!

    • @carolinemolloy9637
      @carolinemolloy9637 4 роки тому +7

      Instant gratification takes away ultimate satisfaction! Now screams louder, later lasts longer ♥️

    • @bethanybraselton2386
      @bethanybraselton2386 4 роки тому +2

      love the long video!! definitely watching the whole thing!!❤️

  • @chelseakingston
    @chelseakingston 4 роки тому +884

    “A relationship isn’t all about making you happy, it’s about making you holy.” Wow 👏🏾

    • @giftedintrovert
      @giftedintrovert 4 роки тому +5

      One of the best things I've heard

    • @sohnjakrivenski4242
      @sohnjakrivenski4242 4 роки тому +5

      I also chose Holy over happy. And now it is my turn for happy!

    • @alicehong7809
      @alicehong7809 4 роки тому

      This is what Paul Washer teaches also.

    • @i.am.michellekirabo
      @i.am.michellekirabo 4 роки тому

      My oh my🤗

    • @racheludehjackson
      @racheludehjackson 3 роки тому +8

      This is not true. The blood of Christ makes us holy. There is no shortcut to repentance. Believing a person or a relationship can make you holy is idolatry and is breaking the 10 commandments. Don’t fall for the hype, beloved. Be strong in discernment. Test each prophet by the Holy Spirit.

  • @maevaf1942
    @maevaf1942 4 роки тому +484

    6:01 Live with your bf/gf before marriage?
    8:43 Long distance relationship
    9:45 Spiritual boundaries about prayer
    12:28 Boundaries to protect you
    13:39 Accountability
    18:28 Dating should not cure your aloneness
    19:43 Being friend first is a good thing
    22:27 Feel comfortable sharing your boundaries
    23:09 Be driven by peace
    25:20 Talk early about your boundaries and be communicative
    26:58 See how he/she treats you
    28:43 Healthy disciplines
    33:43 Dating should not make you happy but holy

  • @keepondancing24
    @keepondancing24 4 роки тому +461

    Been in a relationship for 4 years and we are finally setting boundaries. It is much harder going backwards/moving forward this way. Much harder. It’s so hard because we have already crossed the line, i feel we are going to have to change our whole lives now because the temptation is real. Please pray for strength and for guidance and conviction from God alone. We both love the Lord and my biggest desire is that we put Him first...Thank you brothers and sisters 🙏🏻❤️

    • @napoleon2708
      @napoleon2708 4 роки тому +3

      Im wondering how to do this in a conversation

    • @napoleon2708
      @napoleon2708 4 роки тому +1

      Like do I say I didn’t enjoy it? That it made me feel bad? I don’t want to hurt his feelings or make him think that he forced me but at the same time I don’t want to continue

    • @youcannotspeaktomeanyhow
      @youcannotspeaktomeanyhow 4 роки тому +8

      @@napoleon2708 who would you rather hurt? God or your person.

    • @PTPAUL-ry7jc
      @PTPAUL-ry7jc 4 роки тому +10

      @@napoleon2708 try something along the lines of:
      I want to establish a new boundary of xyz. This is not a punishment to you. I was to practice this because abc. Are you willing to walk this with me?

    • @samanthaquintero7129
      @samanthaquintero7129 4 роки тому +3

      going through the same thing! praying for you sis :) we will have victory and strength by the power of the Holy Spirit in Jesus Name!

  • @coraa2054
    @coraa2054 4 роки тому +357

    “It was conviction because it led to behavioral change.” 🔥🔥🔥 so good! Thanks for always founding everything on God’s Word.

    • @ToriAndChad
      @ToriAndChad  4 роки тому +12

      Aww thanks a ton, Cora! So happy you are here!

    • @MwilaMwila-vc8zw
      @MwilaMwila-vc8zw 3 роки тому

      @@ToriAndChad my only issue is I'm 18 and been dating the same person for the past 3years. We recently just started praying together before going to bed(not everynight though) but I heard you mention soul ties and now I'm worried. He's older than me and we do kiss but I don't want to sleep with him just because I only want to do it with the person I'mma spend the rest of my life with. So should I stop praying with him.

    • @rebecapetre5814
      @rebecapetre5814 10 місяців тому

      ​@@MwilaMwila-vc8zw😮😮😮😮😊😮😮😮😢😢

  • @debbieweisser5228
    @debbieweisser5228 3 роки тому +57

    "Boundaries are meant to protect you and set you up for success in your marriage. The better boundaries you have in dating the more fruitful your marriage is going to be because you're not going to walk into marriage with the baggage of what you wish you had done while you were dating." SUCH A GOOD EXPLANATION. Thank you guys for reminding us that we will reap what we sow!

  • @nataliehedrick5321
    @nataliehedrick5321 4 роки тому +146

    I had never considered the difference between praying as a unit and praying as individuals within a unit until yesterday when talking to a friend and now watching this video and hearing you guys mention it again, I would really love to hear more about what you guys have to say on that topic.
    I really loved what you guys had to say about building that strong foundation in friendship... I've experienced a lot of pressures throughout my time at college (as well as a lot of my friends) to enter straight into more of a romantic relationship or having that expectation of being boyfriend and girlfriend sooner than I'm comfortable with. Hearing the amount of value you guys place on building a strong friendship first is so reassuring.

    • @hopeolivia590
      @hopeolivia590 4 роки тому +1

      for sure agree witht he friend point so much - i have felt nervous to say i wanna be more slow and become friends and have felt pressure from them/friends to go further emotionally than i want to!! was encouraged to hear this x

    • @tenacious-e3o
      @tenacious-e3o 4 роки тому +1

      Right; I learned something new when they said that as well 🤯

  • @Charlotte-br1cs
    @Charlotte-br1cs 4 роки тому +155

    I am a 17 year old Jewish girl and I do not have any Jewish role models online to give me advice. So, turning to other religious influencers like you guys helps a lot. Keep spreading your message! Gen z needs this lol.

    • @onepeice1072
      @onepeice1072 4 роки тому +13

      Just make sure have boundaries and have sex after marriage
      Sexual purity is important dont listen to other if they boring just be yourself and pray god

    • @christinelee2535
      @christinelee2535 4 роки тому +14

      facts gen z neeedsss this

    • @lugm1034
      @lugm1034 3 роки тому +3

      Dont worry it´s the same God just with different names for different cultures.

    • @adrianamf2283
      @adrianamf2283 2 роки тому

      you should absolutely check out One for Israel on UA-cam or podcasts. Jewish and gentile community sharing the Good News

    • @quinoasongs2507
      @quinoasongs2507 11 місяців тому

      Jar of Fireflies is a Jewish UA-camr, you could ask there

  • @halabuck4637
    @halabuck4637 4 роки тому +77

    WOW. I love how y’all said boundaries are about protecting what’s on the inside. Such a good way to think about boundaries

  • @Layfizzi1
    @Layfizzi1 4 роки тому +101

    “Peace over passion” 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @user-pt3uu4wq3i
    @user-pt3uu4wq3i 4 роки тому +79

    This is what healthy relationships look like 👏👏👏 bravo! These two are connected emotionally, physically, spiritually.

  • @savannahmuniz3421
    @savannahmuniz3421 4 роки тому +48

    I keep dumbing down my morals and standards for temporary love. I just pray I am made to be married and it be successful. I’ve had a lot of pain, and no successful relationships. Never dated a guy because it becomes more of what they want then what God has called me toooo. Thank you for this series !!!! God bless. I’m ready to receive ♡︎♡︎♡︎

    • @NinaR1738
      @NinaR1738 3 роки тому +6

      Girl yes! I kept sacrificing my relationship with God for a guy and it left me miserable and it was never enough for him. I left that situation and have been filled with so much peace.
      It’s never gonna work out if it’s not the man God ordained for you.. and that’s a truth I’ve had to sit on patiently as I trust Gods timing.

    • @lashondarochell7584
      @lashondarochell7584 Рік тому

      Oh my gosh I can relate I have done that and it's not worth it I felt extremely guilty and convicted I am so glad I saw your comment I needed to this somit can stay in my spirit and never compromise again Blessings to you 🙏❤️

  • @kelcicarroll636
    @kelcicarroll636 4 роки тому +22

    Amen to being friends first! I was friends with my husband for 8 years before we became romantically involved and knowing I can go to him with anything is the biggest comfort to me.

    • @kelcicarroll636
      @kelcicarroll636 4 роки тому

      @@elenabomfim665 I think some of the strong infatuation goes away but you should still find your partner to be attractive. Physical attraction is still very important in a relationship. But some of the initial oohs and aahs of being with someone will go away and I mean I don’t get butterflies anymore when I see my husband but I do get comfort. And I do still sometimes get butterflies. It’s just not constant. Hope that helps!

  • @isabellalacy9901
    @isabellalacy9901 4 роки тому +77

    I love how honest y’all are and accurate you say things that connect to the Bible. Thank you for sharing with us and being open

  • @ColourRiche02
    @ColourRiche02 4 роки тому +377

    Hey!! So I’m in a serious relationship (we’re both Christians!) and we have already talked about marriage. Could y’all do a video of questions you should ask each other before engagement such as as - what’s your view on generosity, how many kids you want, how do u wanna handle finances, etc. like the practical and spiritual questions you should discuss and figure out before getting engaged.

    • @ijeomakalu9370
      @ijeomakalu9370 4 роки тому +7

      Second this!

    • @aurorap.7578
      @aurorap.7578 4 роки тому +1

      Ruth Solomon yes! That’s the one I wanted to share.

    • @ruthsolomon3868
      @ruthsolomon3868 4 роки тому +1

      @@aurorap.7578 haha amazing!

    • @maddybrownconnolly8284
      @maddybrownconnolly8284 4 роки тому +9

      My husband and I went through "101 Questions Before You Get Engaged" by H. Norman Wright while we were dating. We didn't get through all of them but found quite a few of them helpful before/during engagement. [side note: I am not saying this should be a substitute for premarital counseling during engagement with a mentor/spiritual leader.]
      Book: www.amazon.com/101-Questions-Ask-Before-Engaged/dp/0736913947
      PDF: wzukusers.storage.googleapis.com/user-18587746/documents/56ff04de9096cbYbbsBP/101%20Questions%20To%20Ask%20Before%20You%20Get%20Engaged.pdf

    • @allisonlucas018
      @allisonlucas018 4 роки тому

      Yes!!! I'd love a video on that too

  • @harleighstringer
    @harleighstringer 4 роки тому +54

    just got done reading my Bible, get on here and see y'all just posted. yayyy!

  • @michellereedg
    @michellereedg 4 роки тому +306

    “btw, can you put your pants back on” 😂 dying! love this and y’all ❤️

  • @LJ2492
    @LJ2492 4 роки тому +18

    Thank you guys for your videos! I had always thought I was religious. I believed in god and went to church growing up until I hit 18 yrs old but never followed him like I do now. I am 28 years old and have been in 3 long term relationships throughout the last 10 years. I am currently going on one year of a season of singleness which is the most I have been alone. This past year has been crazy in getting to know god and knowing he is real. He has come through for me with many answers and is telling me to be patient for a lot of things. I have never been so happy in my life! Your videos are always great to listen to and apply them to life. After three heartbreaks, I am walking with god holding hands, enjoying life with happiness and gratitude every minute and every hour of each day! God bless you two!

  • @gabrielamartinyuk9894
    @gabrielamartinyuk9894 3 роки тому +4

    Driven by passion is almost the same as lust. Passion is great but not when that’s the ultimate lead in the relationship. This man is a GEM! He told her he feels peace with her? He is so self aware! That’s HUGE! I believe he also brought peace to the relationship so that calms her. We cannot be calm and at peace of we are dating a worldly man .

  • @piyumifernando63
    @piyumifernando63 4 роки тому +53

    Wow Tori! The point you made about having a your own personal relationship with the Lord even inside marriage was amazing.
    You both are truly doing an amazing work by addressing these controversial topics.
    Love you both.
    Stay blessed ✨

  • @alphy3348
    @alphy3348 4 роки тому +165

    i am single as heck..but ill still watch tis xD

    • @ToriAndChad
      @ToriAndChad  4 роки тому +33

      hahahh we genuinely think it will help so so much! And next week is boundaries for being single!

    • @alphy3348
      @alphy3348 4 роки тому +13

      @@ToriAndChad woohooo!! I was gonna make a request for the same!! tysm in advance....looking foward to it!

    • @ToriAndChad
      @ToriAndChad  4 роки тому +9

      Woooo!!!

    • @tenacious-e3o
      @tenacious-e3o 4 роки тому +7

      It’s good to be single & watch these to know what to expect and to know what marriage is about.

    • @daphinekatushabe618
      @daphinekatushabe618 3 роки тому +1

      Alphy, ,You are not alone.

  • @mariaunited2153
    @mariaunited2153 3 роки тому +9

    I love how y'all talk in a non condescending manner. I found y'all through this video and just subscribed. I really appreciate y'all being transparent and saying u weren't perfect. Y'all are an amazing couple and you can tell Gods peace through even the screen. God bless y'all's beautiful relationship!

  • @chickensaladgirl
    @chickensaladgirl 4 роки тому +16

    “hey put your pants back on...” HAD ME DYING. These two are funny and realistic

  • @carameldarling2980
    @carameldarling2980 4 роки тому +46

    Hit the nail on the head with chasing peace. That's the most important thing to me, I value peace of mind like this world values money. & the friendship; do I actually like you as a person, do I enjoy your mind and your conversation? Movies have hoodwinked us into thinking passion is the be all, but passion is fleeting. Peace is stable, & stability equals longevity. Peace>passion

  • @dubidu1885
    @dubidu1885 2 роки тому +2

    Can please somebody hand them an oscar? The content and advise and teaching of these two human beings is simply amazing! Hallelujah.

  • @gathonimwangi6758
    @gathonimwangi6758 4 роки тому +3

    I really liked the aspect of not praying together as a unit before marriage. I've never heard it explained as well as you guys have explained it.
    Also the whole aspect of looking at your significant other realistically and since love is blind this means hanging out in a group. That's AMAZING cause honestly sometimes it's as though we never move past the crush stage.
    Y'all really brought in this video. So much wisdom and INSIGHT!!!!
    Love you both and I can't wait for Monday!!!!!

  • @judithpolynice5435
    @judithpolynice5435 4 роки тому +76

    Did she just say “an audition to be his wife” 😳 that’s real 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @quinoasongs2507
    @quinoasongs2507 11 місяців тому

    Yes, thank you. Very helpful. While I've been married and widowed, I'm still unsure about the spiritual boundaries. But you didn't say don't pray together. But that part grows with time; starting with prayers of thanks over your first meal together. To praying for each other's work, health, and families. And praying for others in the churches you go to. And over lunch after church, to ask God for wisdom to apply to our lives what we heard in the sermon. But I imagine it's dicey to be praying together for the future of the relationship, except to quote a verse from Chronicles "we don't know what to do but our eyes are on You"

  • @destinycossar9954
    @destinycossar9954 4 роки тому +12

    When me and my now husband were dating we set our boundaries upfront but then every few months would discuss boundaries again to see if anything had changed in what we felt our boundaries were the more we got into our relationship. We would pray about it separately and reflect and then discuss. For instance in the beginning I was a very huggy person I've always been a hugger growing up but when he told me he wasn't big on hugging I respected that and we didn't hug until we had a discussion that he said he was ok with hugging. And we did that for every step even hand holding which a lot of friends of ours didn't understand why we had to discuss something as "small" as hugging or handholding.

  • @lalalalaaAa123
    @lalalalaaAa123 4 роки тому +174

    One emotional boundary I hold, No Shared Fantasizing about Being Married/Having Kids. If we're early in the dating phase and he starts saying "I imagine us living in Pasadena with a hammock in the back yard and 2 children-" I'll shut it down. Delving into those fantasies too early can be disastrous for the heart if our being married isn't in God's plan!

    • @keylareyes4118
      @keylareyes4118 4 роки тому +10

      Yes!!!! I never considered that as a boundary but I’m happy I ran into your comment.

    • @user-yh8kg3bd4o
      @user-yh8kg3bd4o 4 роки тому +3

      FACTSSSS

    • @NinaR1738
      @NinaR1738 3 роки тому +4

      Wow I love that. It’s actually so true how much that hurts us especially if things end and you didn’t want them too

    • @mariaunited2153
      @mariaunited2153 3 роки тому +3

      Yes especially when it goes to shit and u have to grieve the future you planned together as well

    • @brees5697
      @brees5697 3 роки тому +5

      And they could be misleading you with future faking.

  • @cailynhoneycutt6364
    @cailynhoneycutt6364 4 роки тому +4

    12:40- protection is the heart of the boundaries. SO GOOD! Love you guys! I’ve really needed to hear all this. The struggle is real in dating!!

  • @Jessica_Little
    @Jessica_Little 4 роки тому +4

    Hearing you guys talk about communication in relationships just reminds me of HOW important it is in today’s culture. You mentioned topics for future videos/series, that’s a good one!

  • @LaurenAndersLife
    @LaurenAndersLife 4 роки тому +11

    Every series you guys have done has encouraged me so much! I love how you're so transparent and honest with the truth in God's word. You're wisdom means so much. Thank you for sharing it!!

  • @charlesherman286
    @charlesherman286 3 роки тому +2

    As an atheistic Jew, I may not have Jesus or god as my rule book, but I really appreciate these two. A lot of what they said about god doesn’t relate to me exactly but the LESSONS they take from it are extremely valuable, regardless of spiritual belief. This is all just to say thanks for being super helpful to so many preople, and for showing good relationshiping. Baruch HaShem, bless G-d, etc., thank you from a grateful first time viewer 🙏

  • @evetalarski8789
    @evetalarski8789 4 роки тому +88

    The way he looks at you when you talk 😍

  • @shawnawalker207
    @shawnawalker207 4 роки тому +15

    Boundaries can also be not good, too. I met a guy when I moved to go to college that I really liked, but it didn't work because his boundaries were as tall as the Great Wall of China. He had so many, but he never would tell me when I went past his boundaries (he would just stop talking to me if I crossed them). Eventually, I got tired of feeling like I was talking to myself. He was never interested because he "was too busy", he told me this, and then just ghosted me. I realized later that the maybe relationship and friendship, too, must not have meant that much to him if he made no effort.

  • @wencyaart
    @wencyaart 3 роки тому +2

    "Conviction leads to behavioral change."
    Thank you for this talk. As someone who is currently in the middle of said "changes", your words and wisdom really speak to me this season. Not only you guys offer gold nuggets of helpful practical and spiritual advice, but it feels like the struggles are validated AND that they are possible to overcome. You inspire me to keep pursuing Jesus today. Thank you! So blessed!
    🔥💛🙏

  • @beautifulmariah6677
    @beautifulmariah6677 3 роки тому +2

    I’m a huge believer in real practical boundaries so of course I’ve watched A LOT of “Christian dating boundaries” videos and I have to say this is probably my favorite✨the way you explained everything was so beautiful and real and it was showing boundaries from the peaceful/protective angle rather than depriving/suffering angle and I loved it!💖can’t wait to watch the rest of the series💖

  • @shiravlogschannel
    @shiravlogschannel 4 роки тому +17

    Love this so much! Brought so much clarity. I'm 20 and really trying to save myself for marriage and walk in the way of the Lord. God bless you guys! Sending lots of love from Malaysia!

  • @Alexandra1997
    @Alexandra1997 4 роки тому +5

    I just came across this video, and feel so blessed! I'm waiting until marriage for so many reasons and you mentioned them all, and other beliefs too! Today's generation pressure you and don't always agree with those beliefs because usually it's considered as "weird" or not "logical" etc..., so I came to a point where I felt like I should stop thinking the way I was and listen to people. But now, I'm even more aware and more convinced with the way I always believed because I know it's the best thing for me and that I wouldn't end up regretting things after. This is the best way to end up with a partner who truly respects you and loves you. Thank you guys so much for this video! I'm so happy I discovered your channel! God bless you 🙏🏻♥

  • @aw8674
    @aw8674 4 роки тому +5

    Oh, I love when you talked about peace over passion. I totally believe our relationships should be a sanctuary of growth.

  • @ChaoticLFS
    @ChaoticLFS 3 роки тому +18

    Love this video & your personalities. Your characters are authentic and engaging. Thanks for the advice! God bless you two!

  • @mayamurphy4264
    @mayamurphy4264 3 роки тому +1

    I’m gonna watch this video over and over again. I listened to this video while taking a walk today and I literally started crying. It was so freeing to breathe in some fresh air and just listen to a topic that I never been taught. I’ve always been so confused on how to set boundaries but it’s something I’ve longed to do. Thank you so much right now. I’m literally sobbing right now but it’s like tears of joy and gratitude for all that God has brought me through. Thank you so much for sharing this and being open to God using you as his beautiful vessels. Much love - Maya 🤎

  • @aliciaseen
    @aliciaseen 4 роки тому +1

    Dear Tori and Chad,
    Thank you for all the wisdom and encouragement you’ve poured out in this video. I really needed to hear them. The point that stood out to me the most was the “not praying as a unity while dating” and I think that’s so interesting and has brought a new perspective because it’s so easy to be dependent on someone else when it comes to ur walk with the Lord esp when you’re not united under the same covenant yet. Thank you for sharing. Love your wisdom! Keep doing what you’re doing.

  • @meljolly1213
    @meljolly1213 3 роки тому +7

    I had to pause the video at 19:00 Chad is 1,000% correct. Yes, Lord. I lost my grandmother last year and in order to distract myself and not grieve over my loss, I seeked my comfort in the arms of multiple men. I love how in depth this lovely couple is with their explanations on boundaries. It gives us viewers a totally different outlook on the subject. Thank you guys for your anointing insight. Stay blessed!!!

  • @sarahh9903
    @sarahh9903 3 роки тому +3

    I recently re-entered the world of dating and your videos have been so inspirational and helpful to me to set healthy boundaries to grow an enriching relationship that I can be proud of and be secure in. Thank you so much for making these videos!

  • @ashleyh.2178
    @ashleyh.2178 4 роки тому +1

    I really appreciate that you both addressed the emotional boundaries with such wisdom and boldness. It is something that is not talked about often enough especially from Christian UA-camrs! 🙌 It reminds me of Proverbs 4:23 - something that I had to learn the hard way. I also really appreciate your perspective on Spiritual boundaries - I have never heard that in a sermon/community group/etc! Thanks y’all for great content 👏

  • @mariahahmad6501
    @mariahahmad6501 4 роки тому +138

    I am muslim and this is beautiful 💗 loved this video ALOOOT

    • @marrenja8773
      @marrenja8773 4 роки тому +11

      I believe that what they talk about is applicable in every religion.

    • @nawelarif8682
      @nawelarif8682 3 роки тому

      Same here!

    • @smokerx6291
      @smokerx6291 3 роки тому +5

      Repent. Allah doesnt exist. accept christ

    • @sarahbouyaiche4139
      @sarahbouyaiche4139 2 роки тому +1

      @@smokerx6291 disrespectful. Leave

  • @biancabezuidenhout3572
    @biancabezuidenhout3572 3 роки тому +4

    I just had a light bulb moment. I am single single and in waiting for the man God has intended for me. I always had the idea of me and my future husband praying together but hearing you guys praying on your own makes so much sense. Not to say me and my future husband not praying together but still to have your alone and precious time with God because obviously God firts 🙌

  • @sophiesmith07
    @sophiesmith07 4 роки тому +15

    That didn't feel like it was 30 min it felt like 10 min. I love that you guys use your testimony's like this! Thanks you guys💛

  • @Anonymous-kx3gd
    @Anonymous-kx3gd 4 роки тому +5

    this brought me to tears, thank you for reflecting the Father's beautiful love through your own love!!

  • @SamuelJayakumar
    @SamuelJayakumar 4 роки тому +31

    Yooo ..I didn't expect a video today . Wow !
    Also, the longer the video, the better ! So Watching you guys speak is such a blessing !!!

    • @ToriAndChad
      @ToriAndChad  4 роки тому +3

      hahahah well this is a long one hahah Happy we surprised you with a video!!!

  • @abstract1126
    @abstract1126 4 роки тому +3

    THIS IS MIND BLOWING! Where were you guys in my 20s? Ha ha ha! It took me soooo long to learn that I had no boundaries. I definitely want to use these skills and tips when talking with my daughter about dating. Thank you. You two truly are a gift from God!

  • @annakong3850
    @annakong3850 4 роки тому +6

    Can I just say this video is such great advice! Thank you guys for sharing your heart with us. As a young teenage Christian girl I need older and wiser Christian advice. So I just wanted to say thank you both so much! I’m so thankful that I found you guys! I really truly love your videos! God bless you guys.❤️

  • @casgrotto
    @casgrotto 3 роки тому +2

    just found your channel through gabriel conte. i found this video immediately and it was like God sent me here. the timing is perfect and I can't wait to see more from your channel

  • @jmmurphy1515
    @jmmurphy1515 3 роки тому

    this is sooo good! love is blind, 28 - being in community and being social in your dating! Such an amazing and much needed bit of helps. So helpful to see how your future social life will look like. Communication and protecting your soul, your inner person! Waiting … self-control wow! set you up for security in your relationship! listen to the end! the world would be a different place if we all had this advice and instruction starting at age 10yrs old - to lay a solid foundation- To we reap a wonderful future in your adult life! it’s not about happy but holy - will be so much security in your life.

  • @niccykariuki4689
    @niccykariuki4689 4 роки тому +20

    Wow! Dating should not be used to fill a loneliness 👌

  • @jenessam.hernandez4331
    @jenessam.hernandez4331 Рік тому

    One thing I have noticed is men want a wife who he can feel at peace with. The fact that he told you that is so huge! Clearly you two are a match for each other. Blessed 🙏 I am learning so much from you two and thank you.

  • @eworitsedesire
    @eworitsedesire 4 роки тому +7

    Gosh I love how you guys connect everything to the Bible, this video has so much knowledge and I’m so inspiring! I can’t wait for part 2!
    Love you guys💛💛

  • @MissJudith2019
    @MissJudith2019 4 роки тому +2

    In my culture there is no such a thing as living together before marriage, but I appreciate Tori not moving in because you get attempted a lot. You’ve set a good example for so many. Thank you, sister! 🙌🏽

  • @saralc2527
    @saralc2527 4 роки тому +2

    Guys, thank you very much. It is really helpful to see relationship through God's eyes and the cross. I always think that He could have chosen another sign for us, christians, but He chose suffering and donation for us in the Cross! I find great depth and sincereness in this video. I was fearing a conversation about boundaries but your advice has given me a lot of peace! Thanks again for sharing!

  • @Dinosaurverde
    @Dinosaurverde 3 роки тому +1

    You guys inspire me so much. I am a Christian and I do have the same beliefs when in dating yet I have it a hard time to protect and defend it because people around me especially in this generation...makes me feel like what I belief is "old" "this is the new way" something like that.

  • @emmaakinyi9399
    @emmaakinyi9399 4 роки тому +2

    Tori would talk for hours and Chad would never stop looking at her like a cute adorable baby.how cute! 😍 You guys are so incredibly inspiring and thanks for the candid conversations. 👏 Can't wait for more!

  • @marialavinia3365
    @marialavinia3365 4 роки тому +5

    I love how honest you guys are and the advice you give feels like its from your heart. Even tho I am a teenager and i dont plan to date right now I go thru a lot of struggles because all of my non christian friends are already dating and the Enemy is really challenging me in this dating area. I love you guys a lot and i am soooo excited to watch your next videos 🤍

  • @keysuniverse
    @keysuniverse 2 роки тому

    I watched your videoes on boundaries last year, and I never thought about having boundaries. It was never a thing to me, although we have them because I believe you both explained that when you feel anxious or uncomfortable, a boundary is crossed. It truly helped me.

  • @kimberlyjanice8267
    @kimberlyjanice8267 4 роки тому

    I like how you said that a person cannot fill another person. I see it this way. I always use a cup analogy.
    We as Christians are like cups, needing to be filled with the Holy Spirit every single day. I say, a cup cannot fill another cup.
    In the same way that a person cannot fill me, but i know that person needs to be filled LIKE me by God. Imagine two cups, full to the brim, doing God’s will. Its absolutely beautiful

  • @lauriemiddleton6883
    @lauriemiddleton6883 3 роки тому

    Thank you for this video. It’s really resonating with me in my walk with Christ. I have made a commitment to find a man who loves God and is pursuing him daily. This is new for me and I am 51 years old! For some reason I was having thoughts that these things don’t apply to me because I am older, have crossed so many boundaries already, and no one my age will want this type of relationship. I know this is a lie. The enemy has been working on me lately especially in regard to a God centered relationship.
    I feel renewed by your message!
    Praise God! May God continue to bless your union and open hearts to the love of Jesus.🙏❤️

  • @lizethrazorobledo7286
    @lizethrazorobledo7286 4 роки тому +5

    I am 100% sure that God wanted me to watch this!! This is exactly what I needed to see right now! Thank you for making this video! You guys just got a new subscriber!!!

  • @toniamoore1
    @toniamoore1 3 роки тому

    I love the entire content of the video on so many levels to the fullest. I’m 50, been single for a long hot minute which has allowed me to draw near and closer to God with my walk and relationship with Him and I love it because I have a new clean slate on how I will approach relationship according to God’s will...my past relationships were all done according to the world...now I am motivated to approach it according to God and how you handled your relationship is definitely how I would like to enter relationship....being 50 yes I would love to find someone but I am just fine it being me and God only for however long....and He will always be my first heart I seek no matter what. Thank you both for this...such a blessing.

  • @Mybeloved12
    @Mybeloved12 2 роки тому

    thank u 4 all this! never thought of it with prayer & soul ties & not really praying as one. was always wanting my ex to pray and lead more, but this makes sense. good on you Chad for wanting to protect her & for respecting her so much. I expressed all my boundaries & my ex just kept crossing them…was my 1st bf ever @ 36 yrs old & was a bust & so heartbreaking

  • @bonniescully4150
    @bonniescully4150 4 роки тому +1

    I just want to say thanks so much for posting. I’m starting to consider dating after being divorced three years. I have been healing as a single mom and have tried several times to reunite with my kids dad after he left us years ago... but he does not believe in Christ last I check Ed it’s a lost cause... it is so good to see this as I’ve never dated as a Christian adult and have pushed away opportunities out of fear and not knowing what to do. I will be able to use these tips and study further with them as a good base point. God bless you both.

  • @MaiteSa
    @MaiteSa 4 роки тому +1

    Absolutely loved this video!
    Just wanted to say one thing: conversations about boundaries should NOT be awkward! If two people are fully committed in honoring the Lord together for the rest of their lives, they will have interest in understanding who they’re getting in it with. I think one of the most important things to point out is that: your special someone should NEVER make you feel uncomfortable, or insecure, or awkward. It is about stripping bare (the soul y’all, the soul), and trusting your partner in full vulnerability. If there are walls up, do your best do tear them down, you don’t want them to show up after many years. And if you are in the beginning of a relationship: be straight up direct in saying that you are in this for LIFE! That you are willing to trust them and honor them in the name of the Lord and that you expect nothing less from them. When you are sure that the person is the one: be vulnerable!!! Vulnerability is beautiful, and that’s when someone’s true self is revealed :)
    And I think this ties perfectly with what you said about having a foundation in friendship! So thank you!

  • @Harvester2222
    @Harvester2222 3 роки тому +3

    You guys are adorable! 😍 Thank you for being so open and transparent. I sooo needed this. I have been struggeling with boundaries so much. And this is helping me. 💗

  • @valerielinares2068
    @valerielinares2068 4 роки тому +124

    I sort of disagree with the notion that, "your spouse is not meant to fulfill your alone-ness." Because in the beginning, God did say, "It is not good for man to be alone." That being said, I do want to emphasize this point - Yes, your spouse can be a source of companionship. BUT do not rely on them to fulfill that place in your heart that only God was meant to fulfill - not your friends, not your family, not your spouse, only God Himself can fill that void. Because, I'm sure all married people can attest to this: your spouse will not be perfect. Nor will he or she be able to always live up to the romanticized thoughts you may be having about marriage. Only Christ/God/the Holy Spirit is perfect. You cannot expect any human to fulfill that area in your soul that only He can fulfill.
    Is it wrong to have companionship in your marriage? No! God said, "it is not good for man to be alone, so I will make a companion suitable for him." BUT, when you start to place your relationship with your spouse (or anyone) above God, and place expectations on them that only God can fulfill, that's not fair to your spouse (or anyone else). And if you take it too far, can become a source of idolatry if you're placing your spouse(or anyone else) above God.

    • @JadaLynnOfChrist
      @JadaLynnOfChrist 4 роки тому +1

      Amen to that!

    • @youcannotspeaktomeanyhow
      @youcannotspeaktomeanyhow 4 роки тому +9

      He started off saying loneliness. And then went on to say alone-ness. I believe that they mean different things. Being alone doesn't mean being lonely and being lonely doesn't mean you're alone. I'm sure what he meant was loneliness. But I agree with what you said

    • @princessosquala
      @princessosquala 4 роки тому +2

      You missed this being alone and feeling lonely is a different thing.

  • @elizabethharvey1308
    @elizabethharvey1308 4 роки тому +3

    Boundaries in Friendships!!! Especially male/female friendships. Feel like that would be good to discuss, how to avoid soul ties. How to get vulnerable/how to know when you're too close to your close friends.

  • @elizabethturner962
    @elizabethturner962 4 роки тому +1

    I think peace is a wonderful description! Thank y'all for y'all realness and venerability!

  • @trose4669
    @trose4669 4 роки тому +8

    Okay, y’all need to make a podcast or something cause I’m over here AGAIN taking a page of notes. So good you guys. I love the encouragement 💞

  • @argelismilian-robles4466
    @argelismilian-robles4466 4 роки тому +2

    Thank you so much. Being a Christian in an LDR has been so challenging. I really needed this.

  • @Rubi0_o25
    @Rubi0_o25 3 роки тому +2

    The way he winks 😂 I love the amount of energy and honesty 😊

  • @allisonsegalini4452
    @allisonsegalini4452 4 роки тому +15

    I just discovered you guys tonight and this was so encouraging! I actually out loud more than once was like WOW! Such good insight :)

  • @WhatWouldKarlaSay
    @WhatWouldKarlaSay 4 роки тому +5

    Best Christian couple channel! You guys are the most humble and not haughty ❤️thank you

  • @eternamenteamata
    @eternamenteamata 3 роки тому +1

    Wow... it's so incredibly humbling the way in which this video helped me... I am so much more aware and empowered after having watched this video. I can't thank you guys enough.

  • @monieb.4546
    @monieb.4546 4 роки тому +3

    New subscriber here! This is just wonderful content! When you get that icky feeling, that is someone entering your boundary! You + your partner + the relationship! An older woman told me that love is just a chemical reaction of endorphins in your body. That reaction will come and go at times, but a friendship is a deep bond that will last.

  • @yislainneitzel21
    @yislainneitzel21 3 роки тому +1

    7 months after this video came out and a lot of things that you guys shared makes me think a lot. I'm single but this is like yes, that definitely make sense. Thank you guys.🤍

  • @moniqueaglibut4840
    @moniqueaglibut4840 4 роки тому +2

    Wow first this long video is worth the watch. Im notjoking but really we always want long videos that we can learn from you both. Secondly, these dating boundaries youve mentioned are so useful since the society is no that as conservative as before so people are more often liberated to do things, sticking to what they want and not realizing the consequences of investing more than you should give to something that is uncertain of the future. Thirdly, love how smart you both speak of the topic like it wasnt just focused on one thing rather a combination of different boundaries to consider in eg. Spiritual, emotional, physical etc. The complexity of tackling these different areas are so important to ensure that we are not leading to self destructive kind of relationship, and to have an insight on how we should value to know whats healthy in building relationships while dating. Overall, love the video and the description box as always. These is actually very informative to watch 🐢🐨

  •  4 роки тому +5

    A whole series on boundaries? Yes please!😍😍😍🤩🤩

  • @tsionawitabate7035
    @tsionawitabate7035 4 роки тому +5

    i totally agree...
    Tori is such a sweetheart🦋 . You guys are literally the cutest and your words are so inspiring...may the Lord bless you both💕

  • @averylake5974
    @averylake5974 4 роки тому

    the analogy with the 3 people in your relationship (you, her, and your relationship as it's own person) is so beautiful. reminds me of the holy trinity!! if you've never heard this description before, we are meant to model the holy trinity in which there is God the father and God the son and additionally the holy spirit which is the embodiment of the living loving relationship between the father and son. this is often seen as a representation of being so open to loving another person that you would possibly create a whole new person ( aka a baby ) but there is still such a thing as bringing life into a relationship without a physically new person. love it !

  • @PH-pq3vq
    @PH-pq3vq 11 місяців тому

    these two are so great
    I'm grateful for their channel!

  • @hayleyspenny
    @hayleyspenny 4 роки тому +1

    I think it would be so cool if you guys made a PDF of questions to ask. You have had some great questions that aren’t mentioned in Christian circles & maybe even split in a suggested time frame. What should be early, what should be later on, pre engagement, post engagement etc...
    I know you aren’t the professionals on this but I love your insights & honesty on this it is so real and honestly would be so helpful for me and I know for many others.

  • @taylorriser9914
    @taylorriser9914 4 роки тому +7

    This was sooooo so so so GOOD!! I sent it to a friend that’s needed this advice for her and her SO!!

  • @AmyElizabethBehnke
    @AmyElizabethBehnke 3 роки тому +2

    Not even two minutes in, I was just reading the closed captions and saw you mention Christ as the ultimate authority, and you hooked my interest in clicking on the video to watch and listen👍
    I'll be subscribing🙏😇

  • @Fourportionsandmore
    @Fourportionsandmore 3 роки тому

    This is so so huge to me at this point in my life.
    I feel am at the point in my relationship where i have to sit and discuss with my partner and set some boundaries and this is just coming in in time and sharing more light!
    Tori and Chad thank you so much, you remain blessed all your days.

  • @LoriForna
    @LoriForna 4 роки тому +26

    I’ve been waiting for this one! I always trust you guys with these things because I know you are true followers of Christ! God bless you!🤍

    • @ToriAndChad
      @ToriAndChad  4 роки тому +4

      Aww thanks for saying that, Lori! You are a blessing to us!!!

  • @JaleiaChristine
    @JaleiaChristine 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you guys so much for the taking the time to put together that video. There were so many gems in there that I'll probably have to watch it a couple more times. I honestly learned so much and can't wait to apply it in real life. All of the Jesus-centered truth in this video really took the blinding, romanticizing factors off of dating and shed some real light on the ultimate goal: preparing for a healthy, fruitful marriage. God has blessed you both individually and collectively with an abundance of knowledge and wisdom in this area. Not only to apply to your relationship but to help thousands of others as well. Truly a blessing. I pray longevity and prosperity you all's marriage and ministry about Jesus. God bless!!

  • @lauraallen8764
    @lauraallen8764 3 роки тому

    Thank you guys for being vulnerable, non-judgemental, and sharing this!! Great to watch and honestly so convicting of things I can challenge of myself in singleness before asking them of a partner. Keep doin what you do!

  • @marjorievelasquez9712
    @marjorievelasquez9712 3 роки тому +1

    Delayed gratification is a good thing. ❤ I am one of your new subscribers here. Thank God for leading me to your video/channel. Looks like I am going to binge-watch all of your videos. Great content especially for youth like me!

  • @portiagulube3964
    @portiagulube3964 2 роки тому +1

    Hi, my partner and I watched this video and all your videos and learnt so much. Thank you for your efforts to provide healthy Christian content, may the Lord bless you significantly!!

  • @violaizkool123
    @violaizkool123 4 роки тому +24

    SO excited for this series...couldn't have come at a more perfect time. Particularly excited about the singleness episode- my question might be how do I have a friendship with a guy I know I can't see a relationship with but still genuinely care about and enjoy spending time with?

  • @maxine341
    @maxine341 2 роки тому

    Spot on you guys!!!!! Praise the Lord! Holiness first.. Christ is worth it and He blesses the righteous!