Christmas Memories from Prison; How My Mother Taught Me The Key To Holiday Kindness - MPM #69
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- Опубліковано 18 жов 2024
- My psychopathic father gave me the Christmas gift that keeps on giving! Join Collier as he shares holiday traditions learned from his mother and the true meaning of Christmas. In this special holiday episode, he also opens up about his struggles with depression during the holidays and coping with the first Christmas in 18 years without his beloved chihuahua, Blondie. Other highlights include prison Christmas cards and letters, as well as an invitation to a Christmas play at the prison. Get into the holiday spirit with Collier and let the true meaning of Christmas shine through.
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*This podcast contains colorful language that some of our listeners might consider NSFW...even when working from home.
The more I learn about your mother, the more I realize what a truly beautiful soul she was (and, frankly, I am so furious at how her life ended.) Thank you for sharing the memories and I'm sending many good vibes to all of those who feel alone this holiday season. Sometimes we don't realize how good we had it was until after it's gone.
Collier , you realy dont know how happy I am that I found you on UA-cam ..... it started I was 8 years old , my 3 sisters and I had the sades Christmas 🎄 ... you were alone and not alone .... today I am 64 year's old and I realise that i never grief my sad childhood .... your story , the after ... all the after that we lived are the same .... I am positive like you too ,... sorry for your lonelyness, sorry for missing your mom, me was my dad and now I'm ready to grief with you ... thank you so much .. god bless you
🎅🏻 Be naughty, save Santa the trip 🎄 Merry Christmas Collier 💚
There's always that one guy in Ohio. In the Winter. Who's wearing shorts. He's a brave man like you Collier!
I how pray someday you find beautiful soul like your mother to share your life with have happiness in your life again❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you so much
Collier, it is so heartbreaking to have a pet pass. Please consider adopting another dog from a high kill shelter
I love you Collier. Your Mother did a great job raising you and I love for you to talk more about her.
Merry Christmas Collier, I look forward to hearing you read Twas The Night Before Christmas, you and your mom had great traditions, never lose those, maybe doing one of those during this time of the year may help you feel less of your pain. I can't imagine living without my mom, you're doing great work by talking about this.
PS the lights are way better than a tree and all those decorations 😊
I love that memory you have of the tradition of your mom reading that book. I used to read that my sister when we were young every Christmas, then my kids, and now my grandkids. Your Christmas lights are wonderful, simple, but give just the right touch. I can't even imagine hiw difficult this time of year is for you. It's tough for so many of us. Everyday is a struggle but the holidays are extra hard. I have lost two adult children in the past 3 years so I understand the loss, but not the type and magnitude of loss you have had. I am so glad that you've had some wonderful people in your life and that you have been able to become the wonderful, caring man you seem to be.
You and your mother will be in my thoughts and heart throughout the coming days.
Hearing about the courses 'the prisoner' did is hilarious! Wouldn't like him to be my pastor! He thought he could fool everyone and get away with his awful deeds. But he didn't bank on having a son like you! You put him away and you are just amazing! Hope he never gets out.
Collier, you were so blessed to have such a sweet loving mother. You took after your beautiful mother. A BEAUTIFUL SOUL YOU ARE. ❤❤
Your mother is with you .... I am shure she's so proud of you .... i am, I remember you and your history , I tought about you over the years wondering how you were ... and here you are .. how strange life is .....
I love your mother.
❤❤❤❤😊
Collier, can you ever trust anyone again after what your father did to you?
I really wish you true love!
definitely 👍 he is an amazing man and it won’t be long till the enticing person comes in for him 😊
having children after a rough childhood can be scary but it’s also rewarding
it helps that blow that you have endured😢
Collier, I’m sure you are much warmer in California. Today the low is -5 and the high is going to be 12!!! Thank you for sharing your experiences. Toys for Tots is still a thing here. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
This is my first podcast with you, there will be many more! Thanks Collier
It's like, every time Jack gets a compliment, he says- "Can I get that in Writing?"
I’m watching the rewatch of this - collier you look like your mama not him -
He is just sending fatherly advice because he is a narcissist and this makes him feel like he is being a daddy - I want to puke 🤮
I’m so glad you’re so strong and have your mothers light in your ❤️ heart !!!! I cannot believe how much of your mother has come thru in you and we don’t know her ! I never met her but I know one dang thing she is with you and oh so proud of you !!! Now next time you have Christmas alone you have to tell us movers cause I know we all will hop a flight or fly you out to enjoy The holidays ….. you deserve the very best of life and I am so glad you have risen above his bull crap ❤❤❤❤❤
Your mother was (not sounds, was) so lovely. There is a lot of talent wrapped up in the making of that Christmas stocking, it is beautiful. In the days leading up to this season I feel the anticipation of the stress, worry, sadness of this time of year but now, now we are in the days of that was before wrapped up in anticipation….and actually experiencing it all. It is a thing for sure….and navigation of said times is always an exhausting process. I always say Happy Holidays at this point like it is a hope and a wish to be had by all. And we both know that is not always the case. Hang in there Collier….life should not be about moments of endurance….but for some that is the case. T ✌🏻
Rest In Peace beautiful lady 🙏🏻❤️
I'm obsessed with the beautiful vintage intricate delicate stitching on that stocking. You are so blessed! I imagine it's probably really hard to find things with your name on them when we were younger now we have personalized shops. Back in the day we were all obsessed with having pencils and keychains with our name on it! But handmade gifts are the most meaningful. Your mother puts so much love into that stocking and it looks like it's in perfect condition! Things made with love are made to last apparently!
You still have those little boys eyes✝️❣️
I love that stocking my omi (grandma) made me and my brother and 2 cousins one for her house we still use them till this day
Yeah there's no way you could fly into Ohio tonight. In Mansfield we're having 60 mph winds. I hope you feel better soon. Great podcast! Not to sound cynical but I hope Christmas is bad for him (Dr./Dad) until he can own up to what he has done....
Well done, Merry Christmas Collier!
I’m sorry to hear about your dog. It’s so heartbreaking losing a best friend ❤ when you’re ready, rescuing an English bull terrier will be the best thing you’ll ever do! They’re THE most loyal dogs. Super quirky! And just so much fun. You don’t see them around a lot - a lot of people think they’re scary looking! But they’re the most wonderful dogs! Not for the faint hearted, you need to be vigilant with training but you’ll have a best friend. They’re almost human! They certainly think they are anyway 😅
Toastmasters??! 😂...My husband received all these certificates too..which he told me were just basically the art of "Bullsh*thing! So there's that...
Thank you for sharing your perspective on this topic.
-36 Windchill in WI so I can totally relate.
Thank you for making this. Your mom is wonderful. You are just like your mom.
The algorithms FINALLY brought your channel up in my feed a few days ago and, when I've been able to catch YT, this channel is where I've spent the majority of my time.
Speaking as a kindred spirit, I SO appreciate what you're doing (and your singing voice 😁). While I haven't YET met anyone who has been through the weird situation I fell into, I'm finding more solace here than in my weekly group therapy sessions! Many very sincere thanks for that.
I'll be emailing you in the not-too-distant future about a book I'm preparing to write. Your goal/purpose and mine are kind of like two veins that branch off the same artery at the same point in the artery, which I find pretty cool.
Thanks for being a part of my healing. I am, quite literally, starting my adult world over at the ripe young age of 62 (a diamond in tri-focals) and it's exciting acting on my childhood dreams. One of them was being an author. I always knew I'd write a book but I didn't know what about -- until the last 30 years happened.
But I'm only a year out of the mess of the last twenty years, when I was trying to heal from the prior ten 😂, and sometimes just trying to wrap my mind around the growing scope of the book makes it daunting, causing me to take breaks.
To make a long story a fraction shorter, I think this channel is going to help me stay on track. (I also plan to start EMDR in a few weeks. 🙏🤞)
Sorry about your loss of your dog.
16:03 Little mind fucks... that's terrible, but I laughed so hard.🤣🤣🤣
Hahaha I mean, there's only one way to really say it lol!
I have just found your channel, so you might have amswer to this in other videos. But I just don't understand how you had the strength to keep in touch with your father?
Your Mom sounds like a loving, caring person, I ak so sorry you lost her at such a young age.🙏🥰
I'll be there for your special event live on Tik Tok. Looking forward to you reading, "The Night Before Christmas". 😊💖
You must sung for us this weekend!❤️🎼🎶🎵🎼
Wishing you a Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! Just an aside, your father is the king of minimizing everyone's pain (mostly yours) at the expense of his attempts to rewrite history.
MERRY CHRISTMAS COLLIER, LOVE YOUR PODS, I FOLLOW YOU EACH WEEK. XX
Hi I'm so sorry for everything he put u through i saw ur court case here so sorry for your LOST.u are compassionate even though he hurt u so badly my parents both were killed i know pain too I'm so happy for you to do this i been thinking about this TOO just don't know much of computer and i isolate myself from people but u r right we most help OTHERS every 1 TELLS ME write a book u been through so much & u still SMILE i motivated every 1 ALWAYS but lately I isolated myself u gave me strength to try doing something about it.keep ahead we MOST keep growing even in Pain if they throw u with a lemon make lemonade and give them a cup i say.GOD GOT US T.Y.FOR UR COURAGE AND STRENGH & TEACHING US TO CONTINUE.I SAY EVERY DAY U HUMBLE LOVING GOOD U DONT HAVE ANY SCARS U A GREAT PERSON DAUGHTER OF GOD BE POSITIVE REAL LOYAL RESPECTFUL TO MYSELF GOOD VIBES ONLY! I FORGAVE WHO KILLED MY PARENTS THEY MOST LIVE WITH THEMSELVES 🎄 I TRY TO MAKE THE BEST OUT OF IT.WE MISS THEM BUT THEY WOULDN'T LIKE US SAD.LIVE U HAD ENOUGH HUG URSELF LOVE URSELF ALWAYS U A GREAT HUMAN GBU
Bless you, Collier
Good morning Collier. 🎄🎄🎄
OMG! Every episode! OMG!
Hello Sir Collier.i really really love your vioce.and i admire you as a good human being and succesful artist persay.GOD BLESS YOU A HAPPY HEALTHY LİFE
Merry Christmas Collier 🎄🎅
Hey you should talk about your mom it's a good thing Good memories and It's good thing to talk about I lost lot of people in my life People passed away,💖❤💓😘💋
Catholicism is FILLED with guilt-driven mindfuckery. The fact that you can even walk straight with what you’ve been through, as a Catholic, is remarkable. I don’t agree with what your mother did, making you part with toys you loved but you seem to make lemonade from lemons, no matter what. I agree with the judge: write a book. ❤
[Photo-wiskey]!!? 😂
? ? ? No whiskey here... 2+ years alcohol-free!
😮that story of the vacuum cleaner is so disturbing and you can’t accept used vacuums as a rule 😢
Mercy
I lived with a psychotic narcissist who destroyed every Christmas. He was acting out his childhood abuses on my boys and I. He ruined every major Holiday I spent many a Holiday in Womens Shelters. Usually survivors of ritual abuse have these tendancies. When I left him he cried like a baby even though he almost killed me by strangulation. Threatened to kill himself, but I kept walking. 21 years later he suffocated his next common law partner to death. Got it ruled out as a stroke yet be daughter said her moms nose was crushed and her mom was on life support yet had woken up her eyes lighting up when she entered the room with the Grandchildren. He convinced the Doctors to pull the plug euthanize her which devastated the daughters and her son. They all said she was coming around they wanted to care for her and he took their rights away. Pure evil, he contacted me for sympathy he already had a new girlfriend(victim) seeing the new supply months before her so called stroke. The patterns of these people are so predictable and we all wondered at the shelters if we were talking about the same man our stories were so similar. We wondered if they had the same playbook now we know it's called Narcissism a Spectral Disorder. It doesnt make it any better for all the suffering we endured. It's like having to escape a tractor beam using warp drive to get away from such individuals like on Star Trek.
This is my first Christmas since my son died…. I tried talking to someone… didn’t work…. No holiday cheer here
I am so sorry. I miss my brother so much.
I'm so sorry that you lost your son. I have lost 2 of my children. I also tried counseling and so far just have not found the right match. I will celebrate the memory of your son while i celebrate the memories of my son and daughter.
@@nadiazahroon6573 I will hold a place for your brother in my heart and thoughts.
So very sorry for your loss, please be gentle with yourself.
You have suffered a great loss and the first year is the absolute worse!
❤️
I just want to point out how AMAZING all of you are coming on here to support other listeners / viewers! This makes me so happy, you have no idea. Cultivating a supportive community is something my mother would truly be proud of!
Back when TFT accepted gently used toys.
it’s pretty obvious he has never changed his ways and probably doesn’t know he needs to do that because it the epitome of the psychopath 😮😮
Sadden for your loss of "Fur Baby" you loved /cared for many years.
Newbie to podcast... enjoy shared memories of your Mom along with questions of connection (ongoing?)to biological father. Continuing as listener /observer of podcast content with even more Questions/myself😳
Fyi...I spent years returning to family of "empty wells" and lovingly cared for an abusive parent through illness/death so no criticism of Others' journey here.
The best way to heal your heart after your dog passes is to save another dog from a sad existence in a pound. IJS It seems like it would be trying to replace the dog who passed, but that isn't what it is. It's opening your home and your heart to a poor soul who needs love and who has so much love to give.
Just a thought. The pounds are overwhelmed and the number of animals being euthanized is CRIMINAL.
he did his atrocities during the holidays to make matters worse 😢😢😢
The most dangerous time in a woman’s life is when she files from divorce.
Yes, so true!
Love is an action not a letter.
Shut the front door😱😱Firstly, MORNING Y'ALL from Australia 🇦🇺
I've a knitted bear my great grandmother knitted for me ( first grandchild that nearly wasn't. Yep, even before I was born Collier, my life was 50/50 & I was an 11.5 month pregnancy for my egg donor ( Another one😂) Born in April, should've been February, they adopted my incestuous paedophile sperm donor & that's whom taught me what it's like to be loved. Then my first great unconditional love, w no expectationszip, passed away when I was 10, never knowing who his**cough ** " son " THEY adopted, had been at me for 2yrs at that stage😇Thank Chuck ( I can be p/c sometimes & not fkn swear......Oh, my bad😂😂😂😂🥱)
STILL TOO MUCH MORE.............
Great Charity BTW🤫🤔
Oh, & yes😂😂😂😂I've had to pause & comment & I'm not quite halfway through 😂😂😂😂🤪🫥😶🌫️
Of course Toys For Tots is still in operation. Sponsored by the U.S. Marines !!!!
Yes, you DO need to get into all that....one day as you, like myself & too many otherwise live in the stratosphere there's that much shit!!! Question is though, how do you live when you've NEVER lived before at 25😉Remember " Eternally?"😂😂😂
I have a question: Do you think if your father would
A- admit his guilt
B- sincerely apologized
C- committed therapy
D- allowed you to dictate the pace and confines of the relationship
Just curious.
I know he isn't capable because he's obviously a total narcissist but... hypothetically.
Do you ever miss your dad? Not the dad you grew up with but just your dad period.
Just curious.
I feel like I already know the answer but thought I'd ask.
I have no memories of Christmas with my mother or father. My only memories are from after her death and my grandparents dumping me every year at my godmothers. The holidays were painful every year where I was reminded that I didn't have parents. I have recently come to the realization that I probably left Christianity/Catholicism to become Jewish so that I wouldn't have to feel the pain at the holidays. It didn't work and I feel the same pain every year despite that Christmas is not a part of my life anymore. On that note, Hamantaschen is the cookie traditionally eaten during the Jewish holiday of Purim which has to do with the story of Esther. Haman in the story of Esther tried to kill all the Jews but ended up being hung. Hamantaschen is made to look like Haman's hat. Purim is the holiday after Chanukah which occurs in February or March depending when it falls that year. On the Hebrew calendar, I was born 2 days before Purim! It is a pretty fun holiday.
I am against talk therapy. My grandmother was court ordered to send me to a psychologist. She sent me a handful of times and pulled me out because all I did was play. This was later used against her in family court when CPS got me. Once I was in foster care I was forced to go to therapy and the social worker complained that I never talked about my past and only wanted to talk about school and my current life etc. I had no desire to relive the past and I wanted to move on. So for me therapy is a hard no.
Sad for you. Wishing you a happy holiday full of much better memories...
So very sorry for your sadness. We can be so disappointed in the people who should love us and care for us but don't. However, the Lord knows us intimately and will never abandon us. I hope you will find Him in 2023. The Chosen is a wonderful presentation of the life of Christ portrayed by American actors. It will be on The Chosen app Sunday pm at 7 Eastern . Hope you will watch it and be comforted.
I am friendly with the Executive Producer, Derral Eves. But I don't watch those shows. I prefer the original book by Chaim Potok.
Collier, how do you go through the holidays. I have a very hard time due to trauma from the holidays . I lost a family member b4 Christmas. Your father is very manipulative.He doesn't ask how you are?
It sounds like your Dad is not only wanting to look good to the parole board; he's probably working on his future after prison, too.
The chance of his release doesn't look good (for him) but, if he does get released, how much do you want to bet he'll start a church or mission, maybe a 401C?
Narcissists and the other disorders further along that Cluster B spectrum love positions of power (control) and the better they are at being covert, the more successful they can be as cops, judges, doctors, attorneys and religious leaders.
Because of the situation your dad created for himself,. There isn't much choice for him except to be a religious leader in some capacity.
Your father can not only show the parole board the good he has done while imprisoned, he can tell them of the "good" work he plans to do if he's released.
Is ur dad a Leo?
hamantashen is made to look like the bad guy named haman's ears, his ears were the shape of the hamantashen that we make every Purim , so in memory of that we make those cookies to commemorate the Jewish victory over him, because he wanted to kill all Jews, in Persia, and the cooky is named after him, thus hamantashen, Your mother was such a sweet lady, sad she was murdered, and trauma following you because of what your dad did
Better Help is a Scientology company...please don’t go to them!
Hi Collier
Yes Toys for Tots does exist
I give money to my local shelters
I donated food to the kitty's at Petsmart and I'm going to go back and do a video there about that.
ZOOM LINK INFO PLEASE Y'ALL 🚨My Christmas fkn wish even though I've ALWAYS HATED IT FOR SO, SO, ........You'll get the idea.......Mmmmm....🚨SPOILER ALERT🚨
That's my own personal project.....🤏🤫🥸😶🌫️😇🤔🤔🤔
BTW Tag😂😂😂😂😂
Sadden for your loss of "Fur Baby" you loved /cared for many years.
Newbie to podcast... enjoy shared memories of your Mom along with questions of connection (ongoing?)to biological father. Continuing as listener /observer of podcast content with even more Questions/myself😳
Fyi...I spent years returning to family of "empty wells" and lovingly cared for an abusive parent through illness/death so no criticism of Others' journey here.