Unintentional ASMR 🪐 Proof of Life on Mars? Alien Technology? 👽 Soft Spoken Conspiracy Theorist
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- Опубліковано 24 кві 2021
- Channel: Michael Witter, • Life on Mars. Latest E... and more
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(I significantly edited/enhanced the audio & video for better ASMR effect).
I don't really know what this creator (Michael Witter) is talking about (a few rocks look interesting I guess, but he sees a reptilian carcass or a secret alien bunker in every unusual rock it seems). As far as I can tell, he appears to be serious about his "proof", though. And frankly I thought his voice was pretty relaxing, so I thought I'd share my favorite moments from this channel:)
Love it! Please do more conspiracy stuff it's a unique combination of interesting and relaxing.
@@thebritiannicscribian991 No.
I promise you that he is neither a geologist or astrophysicist so he has nothing of worth to say about extraterrestrial geological features.
In short he is talking out of his ass, this is all wishful thinking on his part.
Look up Richard D Hall's work if you want to find out the hilarious truth of the "Mars rover footage"
@@angelmartin7310 Why do you have Mars rover footage in quotes? Also, they take images, not video.
He didn't even point out the hot dog stand and the Nissan dealership.
He also missed the amc theatre and the morgue.
LMAO 🤣
Missed Waldo completely, ugh.
I know. How did he miss those!
I think I saw a dollar general in there as well.
"absolutely deranged man rambles about weird shit hes passionate about" is probably my favorite genre of unintentional asmr
just realized i already commented something just like this a couple months ago lmao, my opinion hasnt changed much i guess
Yes lol
Mine too.
There’s no need to be so nasty about him. I’m sure he didn’t set out to offend anyone
@@jonnydoeson5562 i love him but hes just a little bit wacky
Amazing how the entire planet hasn't got a single rock anywhere, just old tarps and broken equipment
LMAOO
ikr, so weird
😂😂🤣🤣
That's because it's not actually a planet but a giant space ship factory made to look like a planet.
So many chains laying around
"Some kind of cable."
It's a CRACK, bro. A CRACK.
Yes, the cable could be used to transport cocaine...
Yea I’m pretty sure dis dude is on some crack
@@doom4157 SERIOUS CRACK
@@est495 Lolll
no, its "some heavily compressed pixels"
He missed the giant warehouse where alien slaves build nothing but ropes with hooks on the ends.
Can confirm. My buddy Eric used to work in one
And one engine housing
Lol you've been there too haven't you lol 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
LMAO
Y’all hiring?
If you're wondering what the clicking noise in the background is, it's the narrator's brain cells burning out.
Thats the intern brain cell doing his best
The clicking is actually the sound of his cat being drained in his bathtub because he suddenly suspected it was an alien scout.
*if indeed he has any to burn, judging by the twoddle he’s espousing.
made me giggle! Thanks!
Cringe
This dude could find aliens in the gravel path in my backyard.
You mean, you haven't found them yet?
He didn't say he saw aliens that's crazy he said ropes, hooks, and machinery
@@miketilton6393 ah yes because that is any less crazy😂
careful nasa will see this!!!
😂😂😂
This guy is further out there than the actual planet.
😂😂😂😂😂
Lol
He’s doing the same thing as when 5 year olds look at the clouds and imagine they’re animals.
Couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks!
Golden
This has got to be the most relaxing descent into madness.
The relaxing descent into madness should be a tv show about a normal man who suddenly gains the ability to make the people around him go completely batshit insane but the side effect of the ability is He gets really calm and chill when using his Ability.
You should watch the inner earth asmr guy, he's way more crazy
@@patrickhouchins9074 I find the inner earth asmr guy's theories rather hollow.
28 relaxing minutes of a man describing the many shapes of rocks
@XMLyrics no you
@@mr.griffin5726 it was a joke
Every straight line in the universe is a cable attached to a hook and any sort of squiggles can only be alien writing...
I can PROVE it to you.
U didn't know?
Nothinh is true everything is permitted
Ok but at 8:10 that probably is a vehicle
@@infyre3728 dafuq are you talking about
I just looked at my hand and noticed what I thought all my life were creases are actually ropes holding down tarps covering habitats from an ancient alien species.
And every time you wash your hands it's a Biblical flood to your hand aliens. Stop, you monster!
Me too . There’s money to be made in tarps
Best comment!
Never thought I'd be calmed by a person in the midst of a psychotic episode...
Lol this isn’t even close to a psychotic episode but nice insecurity projection
@@glitchinthematrix555 it’s hyperbole
no
@@glitchinthematrix555 Found the insecure person
🤣
I've met a couple of people suffering from calm delusional psychosis but this guy really hits the top of the scale.
So calm, this dude was picked up by Unintentional ASMR
calm delusional psychosis.. thats a thing?
@@thinginground5179 yes it is...delusional psychosis usually isn't the violent affair the media likes to portray, especially since people in a delusional psychotic episode won't really be able to tell they're having an episode. Source: am schizophrenic
@@business_pear oh..
@@business_pear hope you’re doing well bro
Aliens with the ability to manufacture complex machinery resort to using chains and hooks to drag their cargo across mars.
Lol 😂
btw they are 25 centimeters long. Because this photo is like 5x5 meters :D
@@Sqamp yeah, i had a look at his other videos and i think he seems to believe that we were some super advanced civilisation on mars at one time and then for some reason came to earth and lost our memories, and left all our equipment on mars. nutjob.
@@keelinkelly8656 kinda sounds like scientology
Definitely fake but when I think about it... it would be easier to drag stuff with a rope on Mars than on earth.
"It's got symmetry"
*points at the most misshapen object in the frame
You guys realize how there isn’t a follow up video? The space agency picked this guy up and has him identifying ropes with hooks all over the galaxy. We salute you psycho bob, you’re doing a great service for your planet
Ubig gay
"What do you make of that?"
Looks like stones, dude.
"That is without a doubt a part of some kind of machine."
press X to doubt
"absolute proof" LOL
🔼to vaporise
X
My x button broke because I kept pushing it too many times this video. Press f to pay respects for my button.
**He will remember that**
I love how at 6:23 he brands the rocks as “Machinery” in such an overlooked way almost as if it’s a fact agreed upon by everyone else
You put that really well. Didn’t even notice that subtle phrase he used.
Also "Haha, thousands of faces on Mars."
Yeah he readily acknowledges that you can see "thousands of faces," presumably realising that it's just the human brain's tendency to see patterns in things, but somehow doesn't apply the same logic to his "machinery" and "ropes."
Did you not see the machinery? It couldn't be more clear
@@eduardosuarez2414 No, if you watch all his vids (I was a fan of his for years -for the UAMSR and lulz) , he sees significance in every single face he sees in rocks - he is completely ignorant of the concept of paredolia and genuinely thinks they are actual faces or depictions (i.e carvings or sculptures) of faces
I wonder what it's like going hiking with this guy
He’s that guy that wants to stop every 5 minutes to admire all the metal and ropes.
Underrated comment lmfao
Birds aren’t real, they’re all robots
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What I wouldn't give to go on a day hike with him
When he first pointed to that indent and said it was a cable, I reached for the alcohol.
And I don’t even drink.
Just give me the hand sanitizer. I need SOMEthing. I can't be expected to swallow this vid dry.
Break out the good stuff, friends... We're about to be enlightened on the Martian coverups
This comment 😂
Despite having alcohol within arms reach👏
Funny thing is, i literally reached for the alcohol in the same time, but not for drinking, it's because of a painful tooth that i'm trying to numb
My favorite part is when he says ”This was bugging me for a long time but I cracked it” and then he chuckles proudly 😂 You sure cracked it my friend, you cracked it good..
Source?
I love how self-assured he is. Living in his mind must be a truly magical place. 😂 I’d love to see his resumé!
Good chance he's quite paranoid about other things, I'm staying far away from his mind!
I bet on all of his job applications he has something like:
“Truth seeker”
I think it will say dreamer.
Professional nutjob.
It's like that EVERY single time.. they all KNOW the "truth".
I heard that this guy walked out of the premier of Aliens in 1986 because all he could see was rock formations fighting the marines.
Starship Troopers also must have been confusing as hell.
He sees what he wants to see 🤣😂
Legit - his imagination is very impressive though
I was wondering.. over here trying to follow along... A chain with a hook??? *I stare harder* an engine housing too?
He’s not hurting anyone who cares?
@@empressink_ people with empathy care. The guy is absolutely mad.
ASMR gold. Shame this guy stopped producing videos in 2013. Presumably recruited by NASA and forced to sign an NDA.
The Aliens got him.
With their cables.
The Aliens caught him on a hook attached to a rope
Very impressed by the exact 1:1 lunacy to relaxation ratio he accomplished here :)
Rope, cables, machinery, hooks, chains, ‘storage’, ‘habitats’, tarpaulins .. This vision of Martian civilisation as one corner of a hardware shop is as curious as it is banal.
Its not a boulder....it's a rock! ... The pioneers used to ride these babies for miles !
🤣🤣🤣. Of course I heard Spongebob’s voice as I read your comment!
Took the words out of my mouth😂😂😂
I bet this guy found Waldo everywhere.
😂😂😂
LOLL
this deserves more likes
The game for him is to NOT find Waldo.
Lmao
Someone should teach this guy about shadows
He'd only respond with: "shadows, that's what they want you to think it is, wake up sheeple."
@@dheeke we only heard it from you
Well he hasn’t posted in 5 yrs. Maybe the gov. took care of him.
Or he's finally taking his meds
i think the dementia probably took care of him
Probably got bored talking about brown rocks and pretending they’re alien spacecraft
Govt took him out for discovering the truth
Rock: exists
This dude: I diagnose you with anything but a rock
Is it me or are aliens obsessed with 19th century technology? They seem to love their chains and hooks. 🤣
Lmaoooo
They are BDSM fans.
Imagine his disappointment when revealed this photo was in fact taken in Billy Bob's back yard in New Mexico.
wait is it really a photo from new mexico?
@@kyle21843 no lol
Yeah, it was actually taken somewhere in Las Vegas :33
@@EmmanQuinones5234 i mean it *is* the internet. A photo of a bunch of rocks could be taken anywhere and labeled as mars 😂
Who is billy bob
"What do you make of that?!" A pile of rocks..
Jesus Christ Marie they're minerals
My thoughts exactly
Ten seconds in and I can already tell that I'm never going to know what happens in the end part of this video because I'll always be asleep by that point
By his logic the whole planet could be one vast canvas, secured with rope. Are there any actual rocks on Mars at all?
Where do you think ropes come from?? Mars is a front for the big rope industry!
it all comes back to big rope
Mars is actually a giant parcel full of engine housings.
😂🤣
@@LeatherargentoBeautiful.
"it's got geometry“ aliens confirmed
From the inspiring words of Donkey, "I like that boulder, that is a niiice boulder!"
and from the words of dunkey, "paulie, get the boulder."
Words of a true wise man
From the inspiring words of sponge bob “it’s not just a Boulder…. It’s a rock🥲”
The number one currency on Mars is rope, closely followed by chains.
And then hooks😂
@@doom4157 you’re missing cables as well
If you look carefully at around 12:10...I believe he missed a Unicorn and dancing Mermaid. They were clear as day.
They were mostly obscured by an engine block suspended by some hook and rope.
The chillest psychosis episode I ever damn seen...
When I find myself in times of trouble, crazy mars man speaks to me, speaking words of wisdom. Aliens, it’s guaranteed.
Martian 1: “Bob, remember that time your tow truck blew up?”
Martian 2: “Yeah..”
Martian 1: “You picked all that shit up, right?”
Martian 2: “Ummm, nope.”
Martian 1: “Ugh..”
Shit I forgot all our ropes
@@gjigaqaquj "oh no, our assorted hooks and cables"
Before the Martians left, they made sure to put canvases over everything of interest, and secured them with cables and rope.
To keep the dust off. You know.
Exactly you never know what the weather will bring
First 2 mins in and this guy is nuts hahaa.
Very calming voice though
Took the words right out my mouth. Great ASMR voice but he is actually insane.
Like check🤯
Just because he talks about something that it's difficult for your peanut size brain to handle, he's automatically classified as a nut? I don't think so
@@i_used_adblock_to_watch_this the man is pointing at things that are most obviously rocks and cracks and calling it machines and cables. A rover has been in those exact spots broadcasting live too all of us and I see no cargo bay or building I and everyone including the rover see boulders. The man is either making this as a joke or needs help. If scientists were that worried of us seeing alien buildings and structures they wouldn't have shared the photos voluntarily. The photos weren't even going to be released but since they found nothing but rocks they shared it with us. They are rocks everyone sees and the samples prove it. We have science telling us it's rocks. And if an alien species capable on living on a planet with no oxygen and leaving no trace of themselves on the whole planet were there I don't think they would be using cables and ropes which need trees to be made. If we saw ruins or technology yep they were there but no one sees that. If they were hiding from us they would do a better job of concealing themselves so that a man who clearly isn't in a right state of mind couldn't find them. science, photos, and samples tells us there is nothing there but rocks.
@@i_used_adblock_to_watch_this tell me you’re trolling
The things he describes are rediculously out of scale with each other. "HERES A BUILDING" then "HERES A CHAIN" ....... extremely relaxing voice though.
The first picture is only 5 meters across 😂 quite small aliens there! Funny how he doesn't "analyze" pictures of rocks right next to Curiosity.
The Martians were tiny. You never saw The Flintstones? Little Martian dude was small enough to sit on Fred's shoulder. 🤣
This guy must be good at cloud shaping.
His voice is great for ASMR though.
History Channel should hire this guy for ancient aliens, he can easily find aliens anywhere he wants
This comment to me looks like roof of a building and considering you used the letter S more than once, it must be an intercity train hub
@@jakehandley3366 ….bro?
I'm scared that if I fall asleep to this I'll turn into Alex Jones
"THEY'RE PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE WATER TO TURN THE FRIGGIN' FROGS GAY!!!" lol
ua-cam.com/video/wwHQKA0Az0s/v-deo.html
Sleep well Jake
@@D.Y.X. ... except that turned out to be true. In fact, the atrazine ended up causing the frogs to become transgender. I kid you not.
If anything, Alex Jones was underselling it.
news.berkeley.edu/2010/03/01/frogs/
Even Alex Jones would tell this guy to take his meds.
Getting my ASMR with my conspiracy theories in one video? *Yes, Please!*
I do miss early conspiracy filled UA-cam. The bad editing, poor quality mics.
I'm guessing you were very disappointed with this video 🤣🤣 (except the ASMR)
I have to give him props for presenting it in such a kind manner
- How high are you?
- Yes.
“Please study the photos yourself and make up your own mind.” I made it after 1 second of ‘studying’.
"Please study the photos yourself and come to the same conclusion I have... please? 🥲"
I do genuinely hope this man returns to bring us more great content like this. Conspiracy or not this is fantastic.
The more sure he is, the more relaxing it is.
That's pretty clever, you do asmr to get people to fall asleep and then you can just say whatever you want and the subconscious will pick it up and make people believe aliens on mars are around
Billions of years of Martian geology explained: "It's rope."
I'd actually love to see a geologist go over these photos. The erosion etc is interesting. I can't wait until humans get there and start tossing plastic bottles everywhere.
This is how refs review a play
LMAO
"see this depression here?"
*Shows me sitting with my head in hands*
😳
Lmfao
Hooks, chains, engine blocks, tarps, vehicles... This man has clearly worked in a mechanic's shop and can no longer see anything else.
He must be fun going shopping with.
This guys got a good imagination. I bet he’s really artistic
@Tino Julin Artistic, learn to read.
No he doesn't lol. Because an artistic mind would see things that are actually apparent. He's just completely making stuff up in his head that nobody else can see.
Not artistic, AUTISTIC.
I remember a video of a guy explaining flat earth theory. It was only 5 minutes long but the voice was so soothing. Either his account was suspended or he removed the video. This was about 3 years ago I think.
Search : Lord Steven Christ ASMR. The nutcases always seem to have soothing voices, I do think it's relevant in how many people they get to take them seriously
I got some asmr off that head case lmaoooo he has an actual cult following
Honda_Exige that’s so true. I’ve got a few nutcases in my ASMR playlist, particularly from the flat earth and Mandela effect camp. Something about a soft voice rambling about crazy bullshit just puts me right to sleep 🤣
I bet it's Mark Sargent.
Or he got a job 🤣
I have to say I am pleased the Martian Machinists Union and the Cable, Rope, and Chain Unions were able to get their decades long grievance resolved. You know where they all standardized on the same color. Before that landmark day, machined components were much more metallic. The rope guys clearly gave up the most in this decision, so kudos to them for taking one for the team. The real winner, I submit, were the travel agents (predominately those based in Olympus Mons). Because apparently after they wrapped up this issue, everyone dropped their work and just jumped off the planet for a nice long vaca, yet to return. Wonder where they went?
Brooooooooo🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yeah this is bananas. But the guy is calm and he's got a great imagination and i appreciate the subject matter.
"it looks like an engine housing. or some kind of vehicle"
its seriously just a rock
The whole thing just fascinates me so much...has this guy never seen what normal, regular rocks on Earth look like? Are they all covered in ropes here too?
And aliens seemingly advanced enough to have the capability to produce finely crafted machinery...but then cover everything with ropes and chains to drag around? I have to say I do kind of love the idea of aliens advanced enough to make some sorts of machines but way too stupid to do literally anything with any amount of engineering efficiency or finesse or common sense
yeah .. but I see little evidence of him not being serious (if he's trolling us he's a genius)
@@BestUnintentionalASMR there was a part at 9:08 when he seemingly laughed, so I believe he’s trolling
@@monkemilitia people laugh when they're serious too. Your evidence for him trolling is just as bad as dudes evidence for aliens.
*Anyone* could be trolling. But if you have never met someone with schizophrenia you might think they were joking. A lot of them go untreated and die because people don't take their behavior seriously enough. They write it off as joking, trolling, wanting attention when in reality these people believe this stuff to the point they will DIE for it. My mother in law thought Richard Branson the virgin mobile guy was a demi god and that he was possessing her family members. She killed herself over it. She sent letters to congress about it. Letters to family. Some of the shit she said was hilarious honestly but it was deadly serious for her and she believed it whole heartedly. She would make little jokes about it like it was funny too sometimes. People tried to use that to say she was faking - but that is NOT how this stuff works.
When you're talking about things you believe are real are you always serious? Do you never smile or joke when discussing politics or science?
See how foolish it is to say "oh he laughed hes trolling".
Of course anyone could be trolling but this has ALL of the hallmarks of psychosis and obsession. The fixation on ropes and texture. Its classic behavior for this illness.
@@monkemilitia He's laughing because he is 100% without a single doubt sure of what he's saying, he's excited about his delusions.
@@BestUnintentionalASMR he's really not. His entire channel is insane
im actually quite impressed by what he can create from a literal rock
At 7:45 I think he had a pre laughter because even he knew what he was going to say.
“Without a doubt” like it’s a universal agreement
WHAT ROPE IS BRO TALM BOUT?!?!?!?🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥
at 5:57 you can hear the squeak of what must be an advanced chain and pulley system in his house
Me: *falling asleep but still sees only rocks with cracks in them*
This guy: It's a cable or rope with a hook! It's an engine or a vehicle. It's obviously man-made. That ain't no rock!
Me: *talking in my sleep* It's a rock tho.
lmfaoo that ain't no rock
You are hilarious my friend!
I think this guy's efforts would be better placed as a geologist; the attention to detail he can make out of rock is insane and my friend is a geologist. He'd be absolutely amazing at it
But most companies are looking for economically important mineral deposits, not chains with hooks, and tarps.
@@Van_Der_Lay_Industries true true
The dude must have horrible eyesight because everything he had said looks absolutely nothing like what he describes.
mans lookin for depressions to cure his depression
Him: Saying some wild sh*t about rock holes or something
Me, hot tea in one hand, relaxing on the couch: 👁👄👁☕ fascinating
The alien tying the whole planet with ropes: ''Yep, that's not going anywhere.''
This is my fifth or sixth time falling asleep to this guy. I still don't see anything but rocks.
I love this guy. I don’t believe a word he’s saying, but he’s my favorite person ever
“You see it? If you don’t I can prove it to you. Look you see it?”
Proven ✅
i dont see shit but its so relaxing
“Don’t believe me yet? Let me prove it to you.”
Proceeds to prove absolutely nothing.
I want to watch all the Star Wars movies with this guy.
man may be a lil crazy but boy his voice is the perfect tone and volume for unintentional asmr
I wonder what the scale is, are these pebbles or boulders?
i love these, amplifying conspiracies isn’t a great idea but when they are this absurd it’s fine. i find it funny and relaxing, plz post more
Staying purely for the asmr. This guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about lol.
he either knows exactly how stupid he sounds or hes genuinely on the highest plane of congnitive dissonance
He knows exactly what he's talking about. It's just that no one else does. Or could.
This is so weird!! On the one hand, it's giving me major tingles. On the other, the stuff he's spouting is just triggering my rage.
I'll give him this much, he has one very vivid imagination.
Why is it triggering your rage? Pity, sure, but rage?
Says more about you than it does about him.
Yeah....rage? I feel sorry for him not anger
It's psychosis, I feel bad for the guy
Next post"Mark Zuckerberg is a lizard" ASMR :P
Next post “Elon Musk’s son is a robot”
ASMR
''Bush planning 9/11 (softly spoken)''
''Unintentional ASMR - Stanley Kubrick at the Set of the Moon Landing''
Doesn't quite work. Mark Zuckerberg IS a lizard.
This guy's just crazy.
Dude, I've seen these same ropes and alien machinery on some rock formations in parks. They must've come to earth already. You better run man
That fake rock is obviously a hippo shaped bouncy castle
Remember, if you need to prove specific details to your doubters, the best way is to do it in 360p videos using heavily artifacted JPEGS.
Checkmate, mate.
He has chosen only far away zoomed pictures from Curiosity. The first one is like 5 meters across and hundreds of meters away from the rover. They're all directly from NASA releases though.
@@illuminate4622 I checked them myself and noticed that even when directly from source the quality is not very good.
…and look here, there is Waldo!
This is great, I can feel my brain liquefying...
"I'm just guessing here". Yes, yes you are buddy. The entire thing.
So “they” are hiding this, yet chose to release a photo of it 🤔
Perfect trick... it LOOKS just like rocks but it's actually an alien city..obviously full of machines... but who would believe that?
@@jenster29 and full of ropes too, don’t forget ropes
I'm reminded of the part of the movie A Beautiful Mind where John Nash sees secret coded messages everywhere in newspapers and magazines. I hope Mr. Witter has received help since he made these videos.
These aliens are obsessed with chains ⛓️ maybe to hold all the human prisoners 😂😂😂
Lmboooo I'm really laughing 😂
Perhaps, they just love Heavy Metal.