Out of dignity, I will not lose to my fantasy because I am too proud. Even if I'm obsessed, I will behave as though the other person does not exist. I refuse to sell myself cheap!
Tell ke you're a fire sign w/o telling me you're a fire sign 😂 lol, I'm earth, I CAN do that, but, I would rather say how I actually feel, that way, there are zero regrets on my end when they come back, I'm able to stand on my word. That behavior of not telling me the truth at the time I'm being honest will bite them in the ass EVERYTIME lol!
One of the most subtle traps to fall in is when a person used to be attracted to you while you probably don't feel the same way towards them, but all of a sudden all the interest fades away, if you are not aware you can fall into a big obsession trap that is a mixture of the forbidden fruit and curiosity about why the interest collapsed this way? What did I do wrong? Is there a chance for me to win the interest over? If you start following these thoughts you will fall into quicksand and end up obsessed with that person and that's going to be a very bad plot twist for you..
@@SinfulGoddess1 The desire is coming from your mind not your heart once you understand there's nothing wrong with you and stop seeing it as a challenge you will not fall, tell yourself that you already won their interest and that's enough the challenge is over nothing left to proof you weren't interested at the beginning why should you be now it's just a doubt in your self esteem you should fix it through your mindset and not by trying to recover the trash you've already thrown and were already picked up by trash truck.
@@lbuzzmaroc8944 Can you please help me because I find myself in a similar situation. If you are willing, i want to share my situation with you. Please help me as I want to come out of this trap. Pleaseee
Oh God, you hit the nail! I used to believe that my ex had this fantastic life that he didn't share with me (because that's how my life is,but I always shared and tried to invite him into it) and then I realised- his life was hella boring 😂😂😂 Now when they act all misterious I just assume they are that boring that they have nothing to say
This won't change anything in my life. I just have to struggle with this shit all my life. I think looking at myself as the priority is the only way to go for 3 reasons 1. The other person does not care 2. I'm indirectly telling the other person that I have no options and life (humiliating) 3. Their is someone out their that is not on my level the other person is obsessed with but was aloof enough to win. So I cannot afford displaying neediness because I refuse to be a plan B in comparison to an inferior person. It's a disgrace to my ancestors.
In every interaction their is always someone that cares more, and the more the interactions go on the more the other looses interest, so it's like a trend that eventually places person A or B to not being interested, one has to always place themselves as the one who truly does not care, and whoever does not care about you cannot be an ally, so looking the other way becomes the only option. imo.@@ContentWithNoContext
woah, this has definitely opened my eyes. When you said "i'm sure this isn't the first person you've obsessed over" made it hit home. it really isn't. wow. thank you for opening my eyes. i've done a lot of reading and research and have studied psychology but the way you've explained this has been like a personal therapy session. Thank you so much. i'm going to give you a subcription
This has been …. Surreal. Every single thing you said was like someone put a mirror to my life and I was made to see it through your words. Every single thought pattern, actions and behaviour matched with what I have been doing all life long. I guess acknowledging it is the first step, then comes the acceptance part and then hopefully I will be able to believe enough in myself to even try to change this. Hopefully 🤞🏻
somenone had to put this in such a simple and straightforward way without overexplaining for it to finally register in my traumatized thick brain. Thank you! You have made the next steps easier
Francesca, your videos are so good I may begin obsessing over you! 😂 But more seriously, thank you for this and all you do, excellent content and incredibly useful..!!! God bless you always..!!! 🙏🏻
I used obssese over toys when I was a kid, i kind of always knew it in the back of my head, never done anything to stop it. But it was good and bad at the same time, i would watch a million videos of barbies and dollhouses that I wanted and then I would fantasize about having them , I thought that if I had them all of my sadness would go away, i was feeling "in love" with the toys but also hurting because my oarents wouldn't buy them. Eventually my mother gave my a really expensive doll house but I got bored of it and by that time I let go of being obsessed over those things and kind of felt embarrassed for liking it sm. Now I am obsessed with a person and it feels so similiar to how I felt when I was a kid, idk what to do
Can you please make a video of how can we get to know about generational trauma and questions to ask parents so we can work on them and break that patterns .
This resonated however, there's a point I observed. I have a purpose and a meaningful life and hobbies and I earn amazingly well and I still get obsessed with certain people
Thank you for helping me...I've had this problem for a long time,years to be exact.So when I stumbled into your video yesterday,I was saved by all your explanation,so now I'm going to work on myself.Thanks a lot❤.
Summary/ Overview: 0:00 Intro 0:50 Why obsession happens - Escapism 2:02 Childhood trauma - Escapism, Everyone has something 3:03 Fantasy - Idealization 5:59 Everyone is flawed - Projection, goals, meaningful life, take care of yourself, have choices, escapism - savior from bad boring life. Social, connection, community, needs, wants. Validation. Work on your self-worth/ yourself. 14:27 How to stop obsessing 1 Become conscious, its not about them, its about you, your unmet childhood needs, your fantasy. 2 Start seeing reality, get grounded into the present, reality check them and you. Get to know them, 'un-mystify them', 'un-fantasize them'. 3 Meet your own needs, what brings you meaning, solve/ work on your problems, self-development. Goals, work, career, hobby, community. Grow. Get focused. 18:30 Summary/ Repetition of the three.
I’ve found that I become obsessed in these situations only when I don’t do what I need to do early on. If I realize that a girl affects me, and I ask her out; even if she says no, I won’t get obsessed. Obsession happens when I don’t do anything over a bit of time, then I might get obsessed.
Girl,, you got me!😩🖤 You Don't even know how helpfull this video is for me! You just save me From my stuck.🥺 Love you! Love you! By the way i am Your new subscriber! And just fall in love with your this video! Again love you from Bangladesh! 😍🇧🇩
In 2nd topic I feel like you are awesome it is happening with me right now now I was listening to casually but the moment you start that adult story fuck I start listening to very carefully 😯
Nah, I think/obsess even when I've got them, it has nothing to do w the "cant have them" it has everything to do w not knowing what will happen w them that drives me in-fucking sane! 😂 If i knew he felt like I did, even though we weren't talking, I'd be just fine. Its the not knowing that causes me to have them in my head all day everyday. Absolutely miserable. NEXT!! 😂 And I dont want to be saved, its the potential of what we are at our best that I want to progress, but, those drugs are a NASTY thing, and ruining everything that was such a great thing.
No more obsession no more desperation... Only a healthy detachment ❤
Trade-in previous Obsession for Francesca the new obsession LOL. Had your joke. Very good information
All I want❤
How? Is this possible?
Out of dignity, I will not lose to my fantasy because I am too proud. Even if I'm obsessed, I will behave as though the other person does not exist. I refuse to sell myself cheap!
Tell ke you're a fire sign w/o telling me you're a fire sign 😂 lol, I'm earth, I CAN do that, but, I would rather say how I actually feel, that way, there are zero regrets on my end when they come back, I'm able to stand on my word.
That behavior of not telling me the truth at the time I'm being honest will bite them in the ass EVERYTIME lol!
“Shared fantasies” with narcissists are tough to break away from. This is probably why so many of us also develop obsessive trauma bonds. 😕
I think this is exactly what I needed to hear. Framing it an issue with myself and not another person really helps put it into perspective.
Brooo... This girl literally saved my life😢❤
Seriously
Same
For real
One of the most subtle traps to fall in is when a person used to be attracted to you while you probably don't feel the same way towards them, but all of a sudden all the interest fades away, if you are not aware you can fall into a big obsession trap that is a mixture of the forbidden fruit and curiosity about why the interest collapsed this way? What did I do wrong? Is there a chance for me to win the interest over? If you start following these thoughts you will fall into quicksand and end up obsessed with that person and that's going to be a very bad plot twist for you..
How do you stop it when your stuck in that trap.
Cause the want isn’t really coming from the heart or real. Yet cant stop
@@SinfulGoddess1 The desire is coming from your mind not your heart once you understand there's nothing wrong with you and stop seeing it as a challenge you will not fall, tell yourself that you already won their interest and that's enough the challenge is over nothing left to proof you weren't interested at the beginning why should you be now it's just a doubt in your self esteem you should fix it through your mindset and not by trying to recover the trash you've already thrown and were already picked up by trash truck.
@@lbuzzmaroc8944 Can you please help me because I find myself in a similar situation. If you are willing, i want to share my situation with you. Please help me as I want to come out of this trap. Pleaseee
Oh God, you hit the nail! I used to believe that my ex had this fantastic life that he didn't share with me (because that's how my life is,but I always shared and tried to invite him into it) and then I realised- his life was hella boring 😂😂😂
Now when they act all misterious I just assume they are that boring that they have nothing to say
This just helped me a lot thank you for sharing ❤
This won't change anything in my life. I just have to struggle with this shit all my life. I think looking at myself as the priority is the only way to go for 3 reasons 1. The other person does not care 2. I'm indirectly telling the other person that I have no options and life (humiliating) 3. Their is someone out their that is not on my level the other person is obsessed with but was aloof enough to win. So I cannot afford displaying neediness because I refuse to be a plan B in comparison to an inferior person. It's a disgrace to my ancestors.
How do you know if the other person does not care?
In every interaction their is always someone that cares more, and the more the interactions go on the more the other looses interest, so it's like a trend that eventually places person A or B to not being interested, one has to always place themselves as the one who truly does not care, and whoever does not care about you cannot be an ally, so looking the other way becomes the only option. imo.@@ContentWithNoContext
woah, this has definitely opened my eyes. When you said "i'm sure this isn't the first person you've obsessed over" made it hit home. it really isn't. wow. thank you for opening my eyes. i've done a lot of reading and research and have studied psychology but the way you've explained this has been like a personal therapy session. Thank you so much. i'm going to give you a subcription
Are you suffering from Limerence?
@@chrishaynes599 100%, trying my best to cope with the pain and not reach out. It's really difficult but watching yt videos is helping me cope
I always thought someone will come and save me and I still think. But I am trying to manage it by believing that I am that one person.
Needed this so bad.. Thank you.
Keep thinking about them until it makes you feel ill you will literally be “sick” of them x
I don't know why I'm crying while watching it😭😭
You are very wise and I think your channel is underrated!
Yes true
I agree
thank you so much for your work! you are really saving lives out here.
Really love how you explained the root cause, needed this reminder. Thank you!💕
Explained well! Thanks
You are amazing thanks for talking about these things they really open my eyes each time to why my mind works the way it does.
Thank you very much for this wisdom. Truly Life saving. Very much appreciated ❤
This has been …. Surreal. Every single thing you said was like someone put a mirror to my life and I was made to see it through your words. Every single thought pattern, actions and behaviour matched with what I have been doing all life long.
I guess acknowledging it is the first step, then comes the acceptance part and then hopefully I will be able to believe enough in myself to even try to change this. Hopefully 🤞🏻
Also, forgot to say - Thank you. As painful as it was to discover this about myself, I needed to hear it.
It was the same for me 😊 … good luck to you in your journey
Thanks you for explaining exactly what is the root cause of obsession. Thank you so much 😊🙏🏻
Very well explained, true and sincere advice. 👍
Francesca, thank you sooo much for this amazing lesson
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you so much... Your advice are really helpful🙏❤
got real hard reality check 🤦🏻♀️ thankyou I really needed this
Resonated with me.Thank you very much for this video.❤❤
Brilliant!!! So true! Exactly!!
somenone had to put this in such a simple and straightforward way without overexplaining for it to finally register in my traumatized thick brain. Thank you! You have made the next steps easier
This is so clear and true and when you said we look for distance because we didn’t have closeness as a child. It’s not about the other person. #wakeup
Francesca, your videos are so good I may begin obsessing over you! 😂 But more seriously, thank you for this and all you do, excellent content and incredibly useful..!!! God bless you always..!!! 🙏🏻
Sooo good! This really helped a lot! Thank you.
Perfectly explained 👌
Helped me a lot..thanks girl..
Thank you! This really put my life in perspective for me and it's time I get it together.
Greatest explained video about childhood attachments I've seen 😊Thank you
Thank you so much ! You're a life saver.❤❤❤
Love this content. Definitely subscribing for more.
Damn girl talk to me like THAT 😍
Thank you for making my mind clear✨️
So well described! Thank you. U are a genious❤
Your videos helped me a lot. Thank you so much Francesca
This is gold. Thank you. ❤ from Beijing China.
I used obssese over toys when I was a kid, i kind of always knew it in the back of my head, never done anything to stop it. But it was good and bad at the same time, i would watch a million videos of barbies and dollhouses that I wanted and then I would fantasize about having them , I thought that if I had them all of my sadness would go away, i was feeling "in love" with the toys but also hurting because my oarents wouldn't buy them. Eventually my mother gave my a really expensive doll house but I got bored of it and by that time I let go of being obsessed over those things and kind of felt embarrassed for liking it sm. Now I am obsessed with a person and it feels so similiar to how I felt when I was a kid, idk what to do
Im pretty sure I had some depressive episodes back then
Thank you so much
Francesca, please make videos on texting and friendships
Can you please make a video of how can we get to know about generational trauma and questions to ask parents so we can work on them and break that patterns .
Omg 😱 absolutely escapism 🙌🙏😍 so glad I found this video thank you 🙏
God Bless you for this GREAT video!!! You helped me so MUCH!!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!❣❣❣
superb explanation.
Thank uuuu! You are incredible 💗
lots of love from me too.... ummah
Had some clarity thanks a lot Francesca
Bbe I never comment on anybody’s vdo bro u fixed me your vdo just popped up when I needed it ❤ love you bbe may god bless you
Thank you so much for this video. Very helpful.
Thank you so much for this. ❤I
Thank you so much, dear Francesca ! Your videos are very helpfull! Lots of love to you! 💕🌹💞😊
also make video for people with great childhood. coz its really hard to find non traumatized person these days
this is a very good video, I feel better now. you're doing a very good thing. thank you so much and keep up the good work ❤️
Very helpful. Thank you.
Thank you so much for explaining all the real matter. No more obsession now ❤❤❤
Thank you for helping me for making my life easier
You explain the first subject between 8:18 and 8:58 concisely.
This resonated however, there's a point I observed. I have a purpose and a meaningful life and hobbies and I earn amazingly well and I still get obsessed with certain people
Probably you don’t get enough attention , it could have happened maybe as a child or something like that
Thank you for helping me...I've had this problem for a long time,years to be exact.So when I stumbled into your video yesterday,I was saved by all your explanation,so now I'm going to work on myself.Thanks a lot❤.
Thank you saving my life ❤🥺
Very well connected to escapism and simple workable suggestions to detach
Thenk you from my heart!❤
Thank you so much!!!.. I haven't been more touched 💖 Now I really do understand.
I love you with boundaries
Thanks a lot ... I love you (from Italy)
I am ur new subscriber,,love ur video ❤
Super helpful thank you 🙏 Made a lot of sense
You are brilliant 🙏💪
Thank u!!!!!! More of this sort of content
This was very good 👍 thank you!!
I've started to work on my playing guitar 🎸 and singing and writing ✍.
This was great,
Oh my gosh this is deep
Very well explained ❤❤❤❤
thank you madam
Thanks Francesca!
Thenksyou do much for this video
Summary/ Overview:
0:00 Intro
0:50 Why obsession happens - Escapism
2:02 Childhood trauma - Escapism, Everyone has something
3:03 Fantasy - Idealization
5:59 Everyone is flawed - Projection, goals, meaningful life, take care of yourself, have choices, escapism - savior from bad boring life. Social, connection, community, needs, wants. Validation. Work on your self-worth/ yourself.
14:27 How to stop obsessing
1 Become conscious, its not about them, its about you, your unmet childhood needs, your fantasy.
2 Start seeing reality, get grounded into the present, reality check them and you. Get to know them, 'un-mystify them', 'un-fantasize them'.
3 Meet your own needs, what brings you meaning, solve/ work on your problems, self-development. Goals, work, career, hobby, community. Grow. Get focused.
18:30 Summary/ Repetition of the three.
Most Wise Helpful Clear Advise ever.... scientifically and everything with great personality to really make a difference the way its explained 🎉
Thabks for this. I tend to get attached when an attractive female shows interest and truthfully my life does currently suck 😅
I’ve found that I become obsessed in these situations only when I don’t do what I need to do early on. If I realize that a girl affects me, and I ask her out; even if she says no, I won’t get obsessed. Obsession happens when I don’t do anything over a bit of time, then I might get obsessed.
Thanks for reality check❤
Thank you soo much
All very true!
Do you have "Narcissist blame shifting" video? If not. Please create. I want more explanation from you.
Girl,, you got me!😩🖤
You Don't even know how helpfull this video is for me! You just save me From my stuck.🥺
Love you! Love you! By the way i am Your new subscriber! And just fall in love with your this video! Again love you from Bangladesh! 😍🇧🇩
In 2nd topic I feel like you are awesome it is happening with me right now now I was listening to casually but the moment you start that adult story fuck I start listening to very carefully 😯
Thank you
I've Known These Techniques It didn't work I Still am Obsessed With You ..which demonstrates your Failure To Not Attract Me
16:20 No. 3 is the best thing we can ever do to ourselves ☺🕊🤝
thank u so so much❤
Thanks, btw are you a psycologists or a psychiatrists?
💯💯💯💯💯💯yesss thanks sis❤❤❤❤
Hello. Francesca please tell us how to make a girl that gets alot of attention attracted only to you
The movie Pretty Woman comes to mind
Nah, I think/obsess even when I've got them, it has nothing to do w the "cant have them" it has everything to do w not knowing what will happen w them that drives me in-fucking sane! 😂 If i knew he felt like I did, even though we weren't talking, I'd be just fine. Its the not knowing that causes me to have them in my head all day everyday. Absolutely miserable. NEXT!! 😂
And I dont want to be saved, its the potential of what we are at our best that I want to progress, but, those drugs are a NASTY thing, and ruining everything that was such a great thing.