I do believe Curt was in the Navy as I recall reading of an evaluation that stated, "Salior is an excellent worker when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat."
I cannot cite the original but I can repeat what I remember, this is a report on how young 'Feathering-Smythe' is functioning as an Officer in the Royal Navy; 'he uses my ship to transfer him from port to port and his fellow officers to aid him from bar to bar......
@@conmcgrath7174 Not going to lie, that describes a *lot* of Navy friends I've had over the years. I think of them all fondly because... well, they could drink me under the deck of whatever ship was docked at the time. 😉
A naval gentleman asked about his service in Command over Prince Andrew replied an officer never speaks badly of a fellow officer so i shall say nothing at all.
Chiwetel Ejiofor has been a favorite since his remarkable role as the nameless assassin in Serenity. He has consistently shown himself to be an outstanding talent. I would gladly listen to this human read cereal ingredients. Fortunately, he has had the opportunity to share his skills with us all.
I have an almost strange compulsion, at any mention of Serenity or Firefly, to say this: How does a Reaver clean their spear? They run it through the Wash.
This reminds me of the Lexicon of Intentionally Ambiguous Recommendations (by Robert Thornton), which includes such gems as: To describe an inept person-”I enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever.” To describe an ex-employee who had problems getting along with fellow workers-”I am pleased to say that this candidate is a former colleague of mine.” To describe an unproductive candidate-”I can assure you that no person would be better for the job.”
I once wrote in a performance review that one of my co-workers had "delusions of adequacy". Instead of getting a lot of laughter (as Mr. Ejiofor rightly did), I got called in for an awkward conversation with the head of HR.
Yeah ... On the weekends, I'm a comedian. I have recently discovered that the office, Monday through Friday, is not in fact a comedy show. Wording that goes over great on stage --- doesn't have quite the same effect at work.
There is a Kurt at my job. He was mostly useless for 6 months. Then one day he decided to rage-quit over some minor issue. Fortunately, he scrawled out a resignation letter ("F**k you! I quit!"), wadded it up, and threw it at the GM. That was at least 2 years ago. He calls once or twice a week and stops by every few months to ask when he'll be hired back.
In high school, my brother's best friend was a guy named Kurt. He was a pretty good guy, just not too bright. One time he noticed someone left the keys in the ignition of a backhoe tractor at a construction site, so he decided to take it for a drive around town. The construction crew boss decided not to press charges because Kurt wasn't trying to steal it, he just "borrowed" it for about 15 minutes and left it in the ditch where it ended up because he didn't know what he was doing. Fortunately for Kurt, he didn't cause any real damage.
Everyone needs drinking buddy like Kurt. Not a colleague at work or an employ or a neighbour, but a friend who lives in another state and you meet for a drink once in a while.
I remember being someone's reference for a job. I was expecting the call and told the recruiter all the good things. When she asked, "so what weaknesses does he have?" I totally blanked and I said "uhhh, his love life?" Thank god that got a laugh and I believe he got an offer! I don't think he took that job though 😅
I have never known or worked with Kurt, but I would like to heartily recommend him for living as far away from me as humanly possible, which I think means Antarctica
This brings to mind a story one of my former instructors told about a student he'd had several tears prior. He described the student at being an expert at converting oxygen into methane, and of discovering innovative methods of performing repetitive tasks.
I don't know if it was made clear at the performance (it isn't in the description above..), but this is a _fake_ letter, written by the supposed subject - Kurt Luchs - who is a humourist.
I think that it's pretty obvious that the letter must be fake - no one would ever write, let alone send, such a letter. It would be much less time consuming to put a sign on your back that says "PLEASE SUE ME."
@@balok63a40 The letter does not explicitly libel the ex-employee, and anyway, since it purports to be a letter of recommendation (and not one written in response to an enquiry to a referee) it would be given to the ex-employee. It would therefore be entirely at the discretion of the ex-employee who got to see it. So I disagree.
@@ilikethisnamebetter Pretty much half of that letter would not only be illegal, but prohibited by most company policies today. So yeah, no guess on that one.
@@kenkahre9262 Exactly what do you think would be illegal? As I pointed out in my previous comment, this would be a letter that would only be seen - unless he decided to share it - by the ex-employee.
@@ilikethisnamebetter I don't know what country you're posting from, but not all places require that employees be shown letters of recommendation prior to the letters being sent. The letter doesn't have to be libelous for the former employer to be sued; all that it has to be is sufficient for the former employee to be denied employment on the basis of what was written in the letter. If the former employer believes that he cannot provide a positive letter on behalf of the former employee, all he has to do is to refuse to provide one.
@@AllStraysAreWelcome Always remember thinking, even as a kid. I would put Kirk in charge of a pedalo, never mind a starship. Picard on the other hand was pretty much perfect.
@@AllStraysAreWelcome Always remember thinking, even as a kid. I would put Kirk in charge of a pedalo, never mind a starship. Picard on the other hand was pretty much perfect.
Excellent letter reading! I noticed in the description that y'all spelled a certain word "unusal." I think you meant "unusual," although it is also possible that you wish for a person named Unusal to tell you of the waters of his homeword. In the latter case, you should watch out for sandworms - I hear that they sneak up underneath anyone who calls them something other than "Shai Halunusal." Take care. (Writing this made me wish Chiwetel Ejiofor had been in the new Dune movies)
we have had one or two of these people at our work... they decided they didn't like the work and likely decided to try their " degrees and experience " elsewhere. best of luck to them. ( the ones that didn't return to continue there stint at " Harvard " )
This has all the hallmarks of a fictional Shouts & Murmurs article from The New Yorker, not a real letter. Of course, the story of the barrel of bricks is presumed to be fiction as well, but, some things, you just _have_ to read them aloud.
Poor Kurt. Although, to be fair, he probably should have known better than to ask that particular former employer for a letter of recommendation. It kinda sounds like he didn't have a lot of options, though.
Kurt's a schizo or psychotic, right? Ahw that's a hard pill to swallow but the letter is so damn dry and funny and, of course, beautifully read that my pang of conscience is drowned out by the sound of my laughter!
I do believe Curt was in the Navy as I recall reading of an evaluation that stated, "Salior is an excellent worker when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat."
I cannot cite the original but I can repeat what I remember, this is a report on how young 'Feathering-Smythe' is functioning as an Officer in the Royal Navy; 'he uses my ship to transfer him from port to port and his fellow officers to aid him from bar to bar......
@@conmcgrath7174 Not going to lie, that describes a *lot* of Navy friends I've had over the years. I think of them all fondly because... well, they could drink me under the deck of whatever ship was docked at the time. 😉
This reminds me of a short I saw here on UA-cam about a fighter pilot who was given the call sign Z.E.U.S: Zero Effort Unless Supervised. 😂
I got a homeboy who's exit eval was basically this
A naval gentleman asked about his service in Command over Prince Andrew replied an officer never speaks badly of a fellow officer so i shall say nothing at all.
Chiwetel Ejiofor has been a favorite since his remarkable role as the nameless assassin in Serenity.
He has consistently shown himself to be an outstanding talent.
I would gladly listen to this human read cereal ingredients.
Fortunately, he has had the opportunity to share his skills with us all.
The assassin was called Keith.
@@chasdawes7541 ah, the film that bridged the gap between season 1 and season 2. Anytime now friends.
I have an almost strange compulsion, at any mention of Serenity or Firefly, to say this:
How does a Reaver clean their spear?
They run it through the Wash.
@@mrkrunch4340 Too soon…
Red Belt is a remarkable film
Both the letter and the reader are an absolute joy.
Such skillful writing is always a delight. Thank you for bringing these to the world.
Thank you for watching! x
This reminds me of the Lexicon of Intentionally Ambiguous Recommendations (by Robert Thornton), which includes such gems as:
To describe an inept person-”I enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever.”
To describe an ex-employee who had problems getting along with fellow workers-”I am pleased to say that this candidate is a former colleague of mine.”
To describe an unproductive candidate-”I can assure you that no person would be better for the job.”
Also from that book, IIRC, "You would be lucky to get this person to work for you."
I once wrote in a performance review that one of my co-workers had "delusions of adequacy". Instead of getting a lot of laughter (as Mr. Ejiofor rightly did), I got called in for an awkward conversation with the head of HR.
*stealing this😂
Brilliant. I’d have given you an Honorarium!!!
😂
I always likes the phrase “reality based inferiority complex”
Yeah ...
On the weekends, I'm a comedian. I have recently discovered that the office, Monday through Friday, is not in fact a comedy show. Wording that goes over great on stage --- doesn't have quite the same effect at work.
There is a Kurt at my job.
He was mostly useless for 6 months. Then one day he decided to rage-quit over some minor issue. Fortunately, he scrawled out a resignation letter ("F**k you! I quit!"), wadded it up, and threw it at the GM.
That was at least 2 years ago. He calls once or twice a week and stops by every few months to ask when he'll be hired back.
😂😂😂😂
Omg😂😂😂😂
😱
Gotta say, that's a power move... undercut by his begging for the job back. Move on, useless sir, knowing you did the perfect "quit."
I've worked with a few Chef's like that. It's par for course in our industry!
A wonderfully witty letter read by my favorite actor in the deadpan delivery it deserved 😂
In high school, my brother's best friend was a guy named Kurt.
He was a pretty good guy, just not too bright. One time he noticed someone left the keys in the ignition of a backhoe tractor at a construction site, so he decided to take it for a drive around town.
The construction crew boss decided not to press charges because Kurt wasn't trying to steal it, he just "borrowed" it for about 15 minutes and left it in the ditch where it ended up because he didn't know what he was doing.
Fortunately for Kurt, he didn't cause any real damage.
Oh, this is the same Kurt.
Not sure why but I increasingly read this with Morgan Freeman as the narrator. The ending alone was worth it 😂.
"When you have to come know XX as well as we do I know you will appreciate them every bit as much as we do".
Brilliant letter & performance. Think Chiwetel Ejiofor would make an excellent James Bond - 007. Has that aura of calm assurance, danger & class.
Indeed he would.
He would be a perfect choice!
It would be hilarious if both him and Idris elba were both in it and they just... Never explain which one was actually James Bond
Good thinking 👏👏
Beautiful voice ❤
I did once write that "after several years as our store keeper, all losses had been made good by the time of his departure"
Brilliantly written and delivered.
Everyone needs drinking buddy like Kurt. Not a colleague at work or an employ or a neighbour, but a friend who lives in another state and you meet for a drink once in a while.
No we don't
Loved this performance! Funny letter, great delivery.
I LOVE THIS ACTOR . And He Is Very Handsome 😍
I remember being someone's reference for a job. I was expecting the call and told the recruiter all the good things. When she asked, "so what weaknesses does he have?" I totally blanked and I said "uhhh, his love life?" Thank god that got a laugh and I believe he got an offer! I don't think he took that job though 😅
Wonderful oration.
This is one of those letters that brings SO MANY QUESTIONS!
I recommend Kurt for the Hall of Legends award. 😂
Written by a legend, read by. A legend. lol. Curt is also a legend.
"Do you know what your sin is, Kurt?"
--The Operative
Hell, he's a fan of all seven.
@@nathancamp6883
Oh, just excellent!
Great delivery & fabulous letter. 😂😂😂❤
Whenever I feel down I come back to this video because I know I'll leave with a grin on my face. Absolutely brilliant.
I have never known or worked with Kurt, but I would like to heartily recommend him for living as far away from me as humanly possible, which I think means Antarctica
What did the penguins do to deserve Kurt.
Also, does that mean you live on the North Pole?
He is an excellent actor and the writing of this monologue was very good!!!
I have been a giant fan of Chiwetel ever since I listened to his narration of Piranesi
Oh, thank you for the tip! I was thinking about rereading it, I'll listen instead
This brings to mind a story one of my former instructors told about a student he'd had several tears prior. He described the student at being an expert at converting oxygen into methane, and of discovering innovative methods of performing repetitive tasks.
I think Kurt may have been my upstairs neighbor some time ago, except he went by Ryan at the time...😄
🤣🤣🤣
“call it an almost supernatural sense of calm” 😂😂 I feel like I currently work with this man
I don't know if it was made clear at the performance (it isn't in the description above..), but this is a _fake_ letter, written by the supposed subject - Kurt Luchs - who is a humourist.
I think that it's pretty obvious that the letter must be fake - no one would ever write, let alone send, such a letter. It would be much less time consuming to put a sign on your back that says "PLEASE SUE ME."
@@balok63a40 The letter does not explicitly libel the ex-employee, and anyway, since it purports to be a letter of recommendation (and not one written in response to an enquiry to a referee) it would be given to the ex-employee. It would therefore be entirely at the discretion of the ex-employee who got to see it. So I disagree.
@@ilikethisnamebetter Pretty much half of that letter would not only be illegal, but prohibited by most company policies today. So yeah, no guess on that one.
@@kenkahre9262 Exactly what do you think would be illegal? As I pointed out in my previous comment, this would be a letter that would only be seen - unless he decided to share it - by the ex-employee.
@@ilikethisnamebetter I don't know what country you're posting from, but not all places require that employees be shown letters of recommendation prior to the letters being sent. The letter doesn't have to be libelous for the former employer to be sued; all that it has to be is sufficient for the former employee to be denied employment on the basis of what was written in the letter. If the former employer believes that he cannot provide a positive letter on behalf of the former employee, all he has to do is to refuse to provide one.
“It took a stun gun” 😅
Very funny. I didn't want it to end.
"...and filing clerk." That's humor, folks. Small audience rumble representing the real ones.
tears right now - we all need to write this for those in need
Very funny and read by one of the U. K’s best actors.
Excellent 🎉
This Kurt sounds like a real special person 😂😂😂
Lol oh this is vicious, not an obvious negative word but it's a total burn
Love these! I imagine these are but the trinkets of someone who has a much more powerful item locked up in the Nest Egg
Despite being the subject of the "letter", Kurt Luchs is also the author. 😉 He has written for many publications - more details on his website...
Thank you for this information! I was trying to look this up on Google and then realized I should probably check the comments.
Makes sense - I was puzzled as to why any company would have kept such a massive liability on the payroll for 5 years (unless he was the boss's son).
Yeah, a lot of these letters are just comic bits, made up.
I feel scammed. I was under the impression that these were real letters, not literary creations. ☹️
@@pansepot1490 Some are, some aren't.
There is a Kurt in every organization…
If you can't name the Kurt, you're the Kurt.
Brilliant.
I think I worked with him at at least one job! It’s the hands thing that’s the give away!
Wonderful and extremely funny❤😂
Bloody hilarious!!! ✌️
I grew up with a "Kurt", I heard that at the factory where he works, people's lunches and women's bums weren't safe.
This is one of the true greats from LL
Oh bugger , I think he works for me
Blahahahahaha!!! ✌️
👏🏾👍🏾👋🏾
Thank you 🌸
I was trying to sharpen a pocket knife and I had to stop. I think Kurt was affecting me through the ether. 🤣
God bless Kurt.
Love him 😅😂
Brilliant!!
These letters are so cool, I love it. 🤣😂😅
Oh to possess this degree of sarcasm, what a champ.
Love this letter
Stellar!! ❤❤
Kurt sounds like a fun guy.
Obviously a performance review of a Star Trek Captain.
Kurt is James T. Kirk?
@@AllStraysAreWelcome Always remember thinking, even as a kid. I would put Kirk in charge of a pedalo, never mind a starship. Picard on the other hand was pretty much perfect.
@@AllStraysAreWelcome Always remember thinking, even as a kid. I would put Kirk in charge of a pedalo, never mind a starship. Picard on the other hand was pretty much perfect.
This is the politest “fuck this guy” I’ve ever heard
Fantastic
Hilarious!
What a good sport!
fantastic letter. where do they all get this amazing writing talent? PS amazing reading.
Excellent letter reading! I noticed in the description that y'all spelled a certain word "unusal." I think you meant "unusual," although it is also possible that you wish for a person named Unusal to tell you of the waters of his homeword. In the latter case, you should watch out for sandworms - I hear that they sneak up underneath anyone who calls them something other than "Shai Halunusal." Take care.
(Writing this made me wish Chiwetel Ejiofor had been in the new Dune movies)
Are we sure he's not talking about the crew onboard Firefly and just collectively calling them Kurt?
The short hand version of that letter is don't hire him.
Imagine the arrogance of giving someone who had to court order you off the premises as a reference!
This guy is my next James Bond!
Also, Ryan Gossling is my next Shaft
😍 CHIWETEL!!! 🤩
Hysterical.
I'd happily work for this employer!
we have had one or two of these people at our work... they decided they didn't like the work and likely decided to try their " degrees and experience " elsewhere. best of luck to them. ( the ones that didn't return to continue there stint at " Harvard " )
I'm sending this to every HR person I iknow. So funny.
OMG!
I know a Kurt.
I wish I didn't.
THAT was beautiful
hilarious!!!
Kurt is the irl version of Dwight Schrute, it seems.
"Any other firm" huh.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
This has all the hallmarks of a fictional Shouts & Murmurs article from The New Yorker, not a real letter. Of course, the story of the barrel of bricks is presumed to be fiction as well, but, some things, you just _have_ to read them aloud.
The barrel of bricks is one of the funniest things I have heard read aloud. 😀
Poor Kurt. Although, to be fair, he probably should have known better than to ask that particular former employer for a letter of recommendation. It kinda sounds like he didn't have a lot of options, though.
This is hilarious
You get sued for writing honest bad employee references these days. This author got around that admirably.
❤❤❤
I read someone got a review of “they have the six pack, but not the little plastic thingy to hold them all together”. Sounds a little like me tbh
Please tell me Kurt was a washed out police K9, and this would be perfect.
A k-9 who worked as a filing clerk? I'd like to see that.
How do you pronounce Chiwetel Ejiofor?
He has been a great actor since I first saw him in Amistad.
Like most African names, you pronounce it phonetically
@lesedimakeketa5683 Alright. But what phonetics? That is, what sounds do the written vowels represent?
I think I know Kurt...s
George from Seinfeld = Kurt
❤
❤😂
Sounds like a screenplay for Jim Carrey movie.
Does anyone know if Letters Live are sold on DVD?
You can save to list and download most videos to watch/listen later. :)
Kurt's a schizo or psychotic, right? Ahw that's a hard pill to swallow but the letter is so damn dry and funny and, of course, beautifully read that my pang of conscience is drowned out by the sound of my laughter!
Hire Kurt immediately.
So did he get the job?
I never knew this mf had an accent lmao bruh I just realized he’s from London
😄