I Lost the Baby at 20 Weeks After Going into Preterm Labor
Вставка
- Опубліковано 18 жов 2024
- Trigger Warning: This video contains graphic description of pregnancy loss.
I lost my baby at 20 weeks (second trimester) after going into preterm labor. He was born too early to survive. It was the most horrible, traumatic experience of my life. Thank you for your support and understanding during this very difficult time. I will be back with more videos as soon as I'm able.
Instagram: / lifepluscindy
Email: lifepluscindy@gmail.com
“I don’t feel like I had a miscarriage, I feel like my child died.”
That’s exactly what happened. Your child. You are a mom. A mom to an angel. I’m so sorry.
I hate how society treats it like it’s less than that when it’s literally your child dying. Do people think you start loving your child only after they’re born?
Beautiful explanation ❤️☺️
@@claudiathormann9852 yes, apart from parents being allowed to mourn a child no matter how early the Miscarriage, it is a huge difference whether the miscarriage happens a few weeks into the pregnancy (many women e don’t even know they’re pregnant then) or even two months or being 20 weeks into the pregnancy. The child already looks so much more developed and it’s literally a birth and not a miscarriage. But like I said, people are allowed to mourn their child no matter how far they are into the pregnancy.
@@wiebkke it’s also quite different to seeing your child grow up, developing into a person and having a two-way relationship with a child for years AND THEN losing them. I’ve been there for/when family members have had miscarriages and yes, it’s horrible, extremely sad and painfully (I mourned with them) but when one of my cousins died at 11… it was the honestly the worse thing ever. My aunt was never the same. It’s different when you have shared years and have hundreds/thousands of memories with them, you know their voice, their smell, their favourite TV show 😔 I think about her often even though I was young when she passed.
(I’m not saying this to take away from anyone’s grief or pain over miscarriage especially after suffering with infertility. I’m not saying it’s easier or anything like that either! Just that, it’s different)
@@DDoubleEDouble definitely! I can’t even imagine losing my parents let alone losing a child (I don’t have any). But I know people who did lose their child and they were never the same
I’m so sorry mama, I lost my baby boy at 6 months, watching my son be taken away by the nurses was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I know your pain, it’s not your fault mama. We don’t know why things like this happen, leaving the hospital without my son was the hardest thing ever. I was in a dark place for a long time after my baby boy passed. I am here for you mama I’m here if you need to vent or cry to someone. Just know your baby boy is watching over you mama. I wish I could say it gets easier, but honestly it doesn’t mama you just learn to live through the pain. I’m here for you sweet love.
You're a beautiful person peace to you 💓 The pain is real much love 🤗
I'm so sorry.
I loss my baby boy too, 12 days before today 😢 he was in his 6 month 😭 I really feel you how hard it is, it’s to much hard for a mom to leave the hospital without there baby 😢 I really feel you
@@madooomado8039I’m so sorry for your loss. Can’t imagine what you are going through. 😢❤
My heart literally dropped when I saw the title. I am so incredibly heartbroken for you and Andrew. I can't imagine the pain you're both going through. I can only offer my condolences and send my love. I am so, so sorry Cindy.
I can't possibly imagine how you're feeling Cindy, but PLEASE look into talking or group therapy for this terrible grief you are faced with. Everything you are feeling is valid, but this might be the worst pain a person can face, and you and Andrew don't have to face it alone. Having people guide and support you through this may help, and God knows you deserve to have this suffering eased xxx
You are, and always will be a mother Cindy. All August knew was comfort, safety and love in the warmth of your body & arms. You & Andrew will be in my thoughts. Rest in Peace August x
I don’t think I’ll be able to even watch the video without crying…I’m so so sorry Cindy. You’re a mother to a sweet angel, it’s not your fault and there’s nothing that could be done…I’m so sorry for your loss.
My mother has PCOS, and she ended up with me and my older brother after being told she could never have children. I don’t know if it helps, but there is always another chance you can be blessed with a rainbow baby. Take all the time you need, we are all here for you
This, exactly..my mother has pcos and has three children, and my stepmom (also having pcos) just had her rainbow baby last year. both of them had children in their mid-late 30s .. its possible, even if it is higher risk.
i inherited pcos from my mom and ive already miscarried once. i didnt want to be pregnant, i was way too young to be, but it still hurt to know what id involuntarily lost ..
i dont think I'll ever want to try and get pregnant again. it was hard enough losing a child i didnt try for
My cousin has PCOS and she had a baby that passed at 24 weeks due to an eclamptic seizure Cori had. She was able to go on to have 2 beautiful girls and she had the first one at age 44. Cindy, I know not everyone's story will turn out the same, and your grief is SO valid. Please don't give up hope yet. Grieve your August. He will always be your first born. And when and if you and Andrew are ready to try again, there's hope.
I also have PCOS but have not yet gotten pregnant. I'm content with whatever God chooses for me and my husband, whether we have children or don't I am fine with it.
Cindy I am so terribly sorry for your loss. As a doula I am “trained” to deal with infant loss but there really is no way to prepare or train for these situations. I am glad that you were able to spend some time with August after he passed away. Having those memories and keepsakes will mean a lot to you in the years to come. Remember that all of your feelings are valid. August is your child and you are grieving his death. Please try to not to worry about whether you should try again. If you do make that decision later on you have plenty of time. Don’t feel rushed. Women have babies in their 40’s, 50’s, and even 60’s. The age of 35 was created based on flawed data. Everyone’s fertility is different. I also want to thank you for sharing your story. Pregnancy and infant loss are common but aren’t seldom talked about. Please try to find support however you can whether that be family, a PAIL advocate, or a bereavement doula. Your heart has been shattered into a million pieces and although it will never fit back together in the exact same way you will heal with time. Be patient with yourself. My thoughts, love, and prayers are with you. ❤️
💜
I could not find the words to write to Cindy and Andrew, but you put all of them in this comment. Let's hope Cindy can read this
This ❤️
This ❤
A note to factcheck what you read; comments like this can be a starting point to make questions and to look into things.
A note to what is above, everyone's fertility is different but please it is VERY dangerous to get pregnant beyond 50 for the birthing mother.
Yes, age is being push into women and that aproach is wrong, it's a form of violence almost.
Nevertheles, femele bodies, as happenned to be mine, are going to experiences menopause around 50 because pregnancy is a heavy experience and our bodies need that break.
I encourge to get information on your own and make yourself questions, not my post not the one I'm responding are the best way to get it.
However it can be a starting point. And that's why I'm making my input.
Also, a not very popular opinion, birthing at home is cheaper in some countries like USA, I think we should keep asking for respect and safe, and extravagant births at hospitals, I am not very happy staying in it and a better solutions would be facilities with the technology and the resources of a hospital but that can be acostum to the comfort of home.
Cindy, what a heartbreaking thing to endure. I can only imagine half of what you are feeling. Last August I had my second miscarriage. I found out at my 10 week ultrasound. It was also a boy. My doctor said something that I reminded myself of and it comforted me. He said, “if it’s not a healthy pregnancy, there’s nothing you can do to keep it - and if it’s a healthy pregnancy, there’s nothing you can do to end it.”Within 2 months I was pregnant again at age 39. I couldn’t allow myself to enjoy it until I could feel him move every day. I had a healthy baby boy on July 5th. I write this to give you hope. My heart goes out to you. You suffered so much in your first trimester and this grief must be almost unbearable. All I can do is send love and hope. 😓🧡🍠
A quote I'll never forget is "If I had a choice I would turn into a newborn again and die in the arms of my mother because that is the most peaceful death anyone can ever have"
This was said by a NICU doctor in a youtube video and they know a lot more then us. I am sure he was happy loved and peaceful so always try to remember him that way.
This comment really touched me… thank you.
That’s beautiful ♥️
This right here. ❤️💕
Beautiful
I watched that video. She specificalized in child deaths and hospice. it's a magical quote.
Cindy, I know that may people have commented already, but I feel compelled to reply. I wish that I could be right there and hug you tight. This is devastating. You are absolutely right, your child did pass away. Just because his birth did not turn out as we all hoped, does not mean that he didn't count, or anything like that. You were a momma the first time you looked at that pregnancy test. You loved him from the start, and took great care of him, as he moved inside you. Becoming a mother doesn't start once you give birth, or if you only give birth to a living child. This is a tragedy, but I still consider you a mom. That might be a more brusque way to say it, but to me, that is the truth.
You did nothing wrong to deserve this, nor cause this. Unfortunately, some pregnancies do not work out, despite all the love and care we give our children pre-natal. I hate how pregnancy is made out to be this absolutely wonderful thing, that is a breeze past the first month, but in reality, this is not the case. It is extremely taxing on the female body, and a lot more risky than it seems. I have birth to my son 5 years ago, and I still struggle with wonky hormones that decided to run wild.
I cried watching this. I'm tearing up now. I am so sorry for your loss. The loss of a child, no matter how small, is incredibly devastating. I am so sorry that you two are going through this, I wish there was something I could do.
Please consider talking to someone, if you haven't already. There is nothing wrong with getting mental help, and I am so scared how this tragedy will affect the two of you. Bereavement or grief counseling has helped many. There are moms who even talk to a counselor during post partum.
The heartache of this tragedy is immense. We love you. You are a great mom, who loves her child.
Cindy, I can’t begin to imagine how much pain you are feeling right now. We all love, appreciate, and support you so much.
You're not old! My mother had me when she was 41 almost 42. I'm 30 now and she's my best friend. She was an active mother and a active grandma.
I know you don't believe, but I am praying for you and your family. For healing, love and peace.
You're a mom and always will be.
Whenever you are up to it, I'd seek out a support group to join. It really does help to connect with other women and other families.
My husband and I’d hearts ache for you. We lost our baby at almost 16 weeks this last week. Take all the time you need for you and Andrew to heal. this is not your fault. I repeat to you, this is not your fault. My thoughts are with you and your husband.
I'm so sorry for your loss ❤
Sending lots of positive energy. You're a fighter for speaking about this. I hope you and your husband will get over this with love. I'm so sorry. You're so strong. ❤️🩹
Sending you love too 💜
Thank you all, it is very kind of you. I just wanted to share because I know those thoughts that go through your head. Even though logically and scientifically you know 99.9% of the time there is nothing that can prevent a still birth/ miscarriage from happening. Your head and heart try and reason through the grief. But Cindy, you loved and lost a beautiful baby boy and I am so sorry that you have to suffer this loss.
The necklace is a wonderful reminder for his life, it is something you can hold onto forever. For our girl we have planted a tree in our backyard as a reminder of her with a small plaque.
Remember, There is no right or wrong way to grieve. No right or wrong time to try again if you wish. No right or wrong way to process any of this. You are a beautiful soul, as is Andrew. Please, be gentle on your self right now, and remember it is not your fault. ♥️♥️♥️
@@karikinnear Planting a tree is a wonderful way to honor and remember her by ❤
As someone approaching 20 weeks... I felt the pain here. I'm crying along with this. I'm so sorry. May your son's short time here be a memory of a blessing. 😢👼
As a midwife on NICU who has seen many preterms that were too early to survive I am very sorry for your loss. You and your baby spent a few moments time together, he will be remembered and he will always be loved. You are parents to this angel. Stay safe, seek help when you need it. First pregnancy is always an unknown. We all care for you - Klaudia
My heart dropped when I saw the title. I’m so so sorry Cindy. You don’t deserve this. It was definetly not your fault. Sometimes this just happens. Take all the time you need to grieve.
I absolutely gasped at the title. I watched that stream and everyone was so happy and excited.
You're not alone with a stillbirth and it is 100% not your fault. You grieve however you need to. Listen to your emotions and your body. This does not mean you're no longer a mother, and you did the best thing a mother can do: love her child. Your son knew nothing but unconditional love. When you carried him in your stomach, he knew he was loved. When you carried him in your arms, he knew he was loved.
I am so, so sorry for your loss.
Cindy, there's absolutely nothing you did wrong. Miscarriages happened in my family too, and they're terrible and completely unpredictable.
Don't blame yourself for the trauma you experienced. I hope you can get therapy as quickly as possible, and that you don't give up on your dream of motherhood.
If it can give you even a little glimpse of hope : all women I know who lost a pregnancy managed to have children later on.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your son passed in your loving arms and that is probably the greatest comfort he could have been given in such a horrible situation. He got to feel the loving and warm embrace of his mother and father.
Cindy and Andrew, I am so so sorry that August was taken from you far too soon. As many others have said, take all the time you need, in content creation and in daily life. There is no “should” in grief.
I’m glad you decided to name August, though I can only imagine how hard that was. My mother gave birth to a daughter at 20 weeks and named her - I call her my older sister, we remember her birthday and visit her grave, and she is named in family obituaries (named as a granddaughter when my grandma died) and I included her name in the list of deceased family members at my wedding. I share this not because it has to be the same for you and Andrew, but it can be like this if you want it to be. He is your son. Should you have another child naturally or foster or adopt, they can know August as their older brother if that is how you want to remember him.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, Liz
I’m so sorry, Cindy. I can’t imagine how traumatic and upsetting this must be for you. I’ll be thinking of you and Andrew x
hi, Cindy. We're still here with you. Lots of love and hugs
Cindy words cannot begin to cover how sorry and devastated I am for you. I suffered two miscarriages (one when I was 6 mounth pregnant, and the second at three mounth), and I know that it is the loneliest I ever felt. No one in my family had experienced that and knew how to confort me, and the guilt is gut wrenching. And like you say it's not only losing a loved one but also the future you envisionned with them.
I know that it is the most injust thing in the world, and that you think that the darkness will never pass. It will take time. But it does pass. And when you will be ready to try again, you'll try again. I eventually after these 2 miscarriages had two little girls. I know that you too will have your happiness. But for now take all the time you need with Andrew to grieve, and cope, until the name.of August is not so painful anymore. You and Andrew have all my love
i am sending so so much love to you, andrew and your family
Cindy, my heart goes out to you. Miscarriages are very prominent in my family. My mother lost 4 babies before she had me. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. You are so so strong. It isn't your fault. You are loved.
I’m so so sorry for your loss 😔 I lost my son Luca at 17 weeks pregnant this last December. I also went into preterm labor because I have a weak cervix, it was the scariest and most traumatic experience I’ve ever been through. I know EXACTLY how you feel. Please take all the time you need, don’t apologize for your grief EVER, and don’t let anyone ever make you feel like your loss doesn’t matter, I honestly believe this hurt will never go away. I still cry and I feel like my heart is incomplete. Also know this is NOT YOUR FAULT! I know that will take awhile to understand that,I still sometimes blame myself even though I know realistically I didn’t do anything wrong. Again, I’m so sorry angel mama, I SEE YOU, I FEEL YOUR PAIN, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! That sweet angel has the BEST MOMMA🤍👼🏻
I’m just so, so sorry. I can’t ever understand, but my heart goes out to you and Andrew. Please take into consideration my mum had me at 41 and my brother at 43, so don’t lose hope. I’m sorry Cindy
I have a good friend who suffered the same thing. She got pregnant a second time at 39 and had her first baby at 40 and is celebrating her daughters 1st birthday soon. I hope Cindy can get her miracle baby. She deserves it so much. 😔
@@mochaamlnn my mum had two healthy children at age 40. Went through stress, smoking. I was The first kid, at age 27. We wear all at risk of genetic issues, my sister had smt wrong w her heart, i had only 2 instead of 3 tubes/ways in the umbillical chord, my mom had pregnancy glycemia with my brother.
My mum managed to give birth to two kids after age 40. All are fully healthy. My grandparents from mothers side are both disabled with genetical disabilities.
Miracles do happen and I believe Cindy is a great and amazing person that some mysterious higher power, be it a god or just some laws, will bless her w a kid. Cuz I might be non-religious but miracles do happen.
I understand your pain. I went through this last year. My water broke at 20 weeks and I lost my baby boy. We can get through this together ❤
I'm so sorry for your loss, Cindy. I can't imagine how you are feeling right now. You and Andrew will be in my thoughts.
Cindy, you will ALWAYS be a mother. You gave birth to that child. My heart breaks for you and your husband. Losing a child is the worst feeling of which unfortunately I have experience of too. It doesn't matter the baby was preterm. It doesn't matter that August was "premie," that loss is profound. Please, please try to be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself as best you can. Please consider reaching out to a grief counselor. You are in torment but you are not alone, not ever. All my love, Darcie.
Cindy I’ve never met you, but as a fan of yours who’s struggled with infertility and followed your own journey, I felt a personal connection and I was so so unbelievably happy for you when you announced your pregnancy. I know how much it meant to you and your husband and I remember thinking how lucky and loved the baby was. I’m so so heartbroken to hear this news. This is just so cruel and unfair. There is nothing I (or anyone) can say that will make this pain go away. I remember a quote “children who lose their parents are called orphans. There are no words to describe parents who lose their children because it’s so unimaginable”. You mentioned that you don’t know who you are, but you are and always will be August’s mummy. That will never change. I’m sending you and your husband so much love. Please know you are in our thoughts. We love you Cindy ❤️
im so sorry for you, as a child born after a miscarriage, i want to tell you that everything will be ok someday. wishing you many rainbows and future blessings.
I’m so sorry. Please take all the time you need. You have so many people here who love and care about you.
Editing after watching to remind you that this is NOT your fault Cindy.
Hubby and I daughter died at 20 weeks. I developed severe PIH, severe HELLP and severe Preeclampsia. Out daughter was born and lived 80 minutes. You're not alone and if you ever need support I'm here for you. Those that have never went through this have no clue what this loss does to you. Thinking of you and your little baby. I'm so sorry this happened. Again, if you need someone to talk to I'm here for you. Please take care of yourself. I know it's hard but so the best to your ability.
Oh Cindy. I am so so so sorry. I cried, I sobbed like a baby right with you. I think I speak for all of the “mod squad” when I say I am here if you ever need anything. Please try to remember there was nothing that you, Andrew or anyone could have done. I wish I could hug y’all. I am so so sorry. You take all the time you need.
Rest in Peace August Sky
I'm so sorry for you and your partner's loss, Cindy.
I regret ever feeling sympathy for you.
I'm June of 2010 I was 24 weeks pregnant with my first child. Also a little boy. I went into preterm labor. I was in labor from June 30th to July 2nd in which time they were trying to keep me pregnant as long as possible. But then on July 2nd I had him. And he was a beautiful 1lb 5oz baby boy. He spent the next month in the NICU going from doing really well to a hopeless case and on August 4th 2010 he passed in our arms. It has been 12 years and I'm still not over it. I understand all of your emotions. Since then I have had 3 more children and 1 miscarriage. If you ever need someone to talk to please reach out to me.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Our stories are similar I went into labor with my first baby boy at 23 weeks and had him at 24 weeks. I was hopefully because he was viable and things were going great until he picked up an infection in the nicu and passed away this passed Nov 30. I really want to be off this earth everyday I wake up it feels like a horrible dream. They couldn’t figure out why I went into preterm labor. My guess is it is an insufficient cervix. Did they figure out why you went into labor so early? And did you carry all of your other children to term? The only hope I have of staying on this earth is having more children but I’m scared because i don’t want this to happen again
Words can’t express how sorry I’m for your loss dear Cindy, sending you my love and prayers ❤️💔
The way I screamed when I saw this title. I"m so sorry for your loss. That's all I will say. Sometimes there are just no words. Much, much love and support to you and Andrew. I wanna hug you girl! love you.
I kept weeping literally throughout the whole video. Trying to deal with grief myself as of now as well, it just hit differently. I remember when I first watched your pregnancy reveal video, it was really special for me because two days before that I had lost my grandmother, on my birthday. Watching your video reminded me the circle of life; and that was the first time I started to feel lighter again.
I am so sorry it had to end this way, but please don’t blame yourself. Never. Some things are just meant to be I guess, too bad we humans ended up developing a consciousness.
As for the fears concerning your age, I was also born to a 40 year old mother who had a turbulent pregnancy. One day she confessed me she cried a lot during her pregnancy because of my shitty dad. I think it is basically a lottery when it comes to pregnancy.
You have hundreds of people’s support, me included.
I will never forget little August, the special baby boy, who left too soon 😞
I lost my baby girl at 15weeks. Two months later we found at we were pregnant again. He is coming this Monday. There is hope. You can do it. I know nothing helps now, all we can do is send love. And give you time
You are a Mother, and while you are right, and you will never be the same again, one day you might find yourself able to focus on the love you and Andrew feel for August and that you both loved him for every second he existed. Be kind to yourselves, I still celebrate my missing piece every year and think about her constantly.
To anyone who might have experienced this loss as Cindy did, one channel that helped deal with my own grief is a channel called "Still a Part of Us". Even though the stories are sad and all too familiar, I found comfort in knowing I am not alone and that it gets better.
Oh Cindy I am so incredibly sorry!!! My heart is broken for you and Andrew!! I’m sending all my love and support to you and your family! This is so awful and I’m just so sorry!! Take care of yourself!
Edit: Don’t give up on yourself or the world! You are speaking from a place of extreme anguish and grief which is absolutely understandable! Remember you did give birth, so all those postpartum hormones are in effect inside you! Also, postpartum depression is an absolute reality! Please seek counseling to work through all this trauma! I’m deeply sorry!!
Cindy, I’m so sorry. Please maybe seek out a support group of women who have experienced the same thing. Thank you for sharing. You are not alone.
Words can’t express how deeply heartbroken I am for you. Cindy, we are here for you. Please take your time and heal through this the best way you can.. I’ve been through this and for some reason, I’m breaking harder knowing you’ve experienced this. I am so, so so sorry. We love you 🤍
I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. I lost my little boy last year when he was 4 days old and there truly is no pain that compares to losing a child. The grief doesn't lessen, but you will find ways to live with your love for August and the grief you have in losing him. Sending my love and hoping for some peace of mind and heart for you over the coming weeks and months. Please be assured you are not alone 💜
I'm so so sorry for your loss 😢
So sorry for your loss💓🤗
I know exactly how you feel because almost this exact thing happened to me and my husband a year ago. We lost our baby boy at 17 weeks. The pain never goes away but you cry less and less frequent.
I recognize so much of what you said in this video. Initially being too scared to see the baby, but then doing it anyway. Unfortunately in our case, the nurses brought him to us in what was basically a white bread basket with a kitchen towel over him. And a menstrual pad under him. It felt so disrespectful and somewhat humiliating.
Your videos have been one of the things that have kept me above the surface after this traumatizing experience.
Take care of yourselves and each other.
/J and S from Sweden.
Thank u for sharing your story. You're so strong. Sending lots of love to u and your husband. Take care. I hope that things will get better. I'm so sorry. ❤️🩹
A very similar thing happened to me last year, it's the most traumatic experience I have ever been through, now it's seems like life will never be the same, which it won't ever be the same but I just live everyday remember those moments of love we shared, a short but loving time. Everyday is a chance to make him proud. For months I hated myself and my body for letting me down. So please don't feel alone, or as if it's your fault. I had weak cervix too. It's important for you and your partner to be supportive, some days one of you might want to talk about it and the other one won't but that's normal. It's hard to cope with so much loss, keep loving your baby and yourself!! Sending you lots of love, mother to mother xx
And he will always be your baby and you his mother
I’m so sorry for your loss Cindy, we’re all here for you and appreciate you so much. “Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise!”❤️❤️
Thinking of you and your beloved baby August Sky today, whose mother's love for him is more apparent than the blue sky he was named for.
No!!! I am so so so sorry, Cindy! I can't imagine what you're going through right now! My heart hurts for you 💔
Miss you Cindy. I hope you and Andrew are ok. We are always here for you both.
Cindy i'm so so sorry for you and Andrew's loss. I could not imagine what you are going through. I know this might not come across the way I want to, but I would feel very regretful if I didnt advise both you and Andrew to go some kind of therapy, or talk to an speacialist about what had happened to you. Not because there is something wrong with you (of course), but because you both shouldn't go through this on your own. I know that you can be happy again, in time, and I send you all the love and support in the world. Here's a lot of people that love and appreciate you, and are here for you. I'm so sorry again.
I experienced the loss of my first child at about the same stage of my pregnancy. I wish I could wrap my arms around you to help you with your pain. My word to you is take your time to heal. Feel the feeling you need to feel. Do not let ANYONE diminish your loss and never let them put a timeline on your grief.
You loved August Sky from the moment you learned of his existence and did everything you could, please remember that. I know it was hard to share your story, but you are honoring August by sharing. Sending you love, light and eventual peace.
Seeing the title fkn destroyed me. I want to comfort you so badly bc my heart aches for you. I'm so sorry Cindy and I hope you know how many of us wish we could take the pain away. I have so much love for you and Andrew
Oh I am so sorry. Giving birth without a baby is such a terrifying and traumatic experience. I hope you all the best
Cindy when I saw the title I burst into tears immediately. I felt physically sick while watching this, as it went on my heart just further broke for you. This level of vulnerability is so hard, and I can't imagine the pain you're going through when the cameras are off, and I know this was just a glimpse into your world right now. I am so so so deeply sorry for your loss and that you've been put in such an impossibly difficult situation.
I related a lot to when you said you lost your faith of everything when this happened. Take your time with that, please be gentle on yourself. I know it feels impossible but you have a place, too.
0 part of this is your fault. I miscarried my first child- and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced. I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a child is the hardest thing anyone could ever experience and no one should ever have to 💔
Fellow infertility warrior here about to start IVF. My heart is absolutely breaking for you.
I have a rare condition where my body rejects hormones released by pregnancy or by taking contraceptives / birth controls. I cannot take birth control and unfortunately, pregnancy can cause me to lose my life. I lost my first and was blessed on my second but also ended up giving birth prematurely. He is thriving though.
I know the pain and loss you are feeling and I'm sorry this has happened to you. You did lose your child. Doesn't matter if the baby was only 20 weeks, 30 weeks, or 36 weeks. He was your baby.
I wish you and your family nothing but love and that time allows you to heal and if you decide you want to try having a baby again then I wish for a happy, healthy, and thriving rainbow baby.
RIP little one. 💙
No! No! Cindy my god- this is not fair at all. I don’t understand why this has to happen to you at this moment in your life. I really really hope. You recover well from this, and don’t fall into any mental health state. I truly want to send condolences to you, and your family.
Cindy I don’t know if you’ll ever read this comment but I really hope you do because I just want to say, please remember you’re not alone in this painful experience. Of course no one has lived your exact life, but many have shared the pain of miscarriage and stillbirth and know right now everything is scary and painful. Don’t force yourself to think about things like trying again until you’re ready. I have told people many times “allow yourself the time and room to hurt, then you give yourself equal parts room to
heal.”
My deepest condolences for your loss. You were really brave and powerful to choose to share this story with such a huge audience. Thank you. Please keep being strong. We all believe in you.
I lost my baby boy on the 17th of july when I was 14 weeks pregnant. I’m so sorry. We’re not alone 💜 sending you love
Cindy, my heart goes out to you and Andrew. The loss of a child is one of hardest things someone can go through. I wish there was something that could be said that would bring you some comfort but even the most well meaning words can be painful to hear in times like these. Sending you both lots of love and keeping you in my thoughts ❤
18:08 you are a mother. You will always be a mother and he will always be you child. And you were the perfect mother for him
Yes!!!!!
I’m so sorry for you’re loss. May god give you strength during this time. My story is exactly the same as yours, July 2nd 2022 I gave birth to my baby girl at 20 weeks pregnant. I went into labour the day before and my water broke. I still can’t understand how or why this happened 💔 our little ones are playing together up in heaven 🙏🏼
My jaw dropped when I read the title. I am so so so sorry for your loss. I am sending you a big hug over the internet and sending you and Andrew lots of love. We are always here to listen and be there for you. 🥺
So I watched about 4 and half minutes, can't watch anymore. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I really hope that you find comfort and solace from family and loved ones. The best advice I have is live one day at a time. I'm always so hurt by this happening to someone, because I had a premature baby, 26 weeks, and I got the best outcome, my baby girl lived, grew up totally fine, and is now a 30 year old wife trying to get pregnant herself. But honestly, even though my baby girl made it I'm still extremely sensitive about pregnancy and miscarriages. Again, so sorry and reach out for and accept help, don't isolate yourself.
I’m so sorry to hear such heartbreaking news, Cindy. 😢 I’m crying with you.
I was so excited for you and to hear this now I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now. I’ve lost a baby before but not at 20 weeks.
I’m praying for your healing physically, mentally, and emotionally. 🤲🏼❤️
Now watching your video, Cindy it is not your fault at all!!! Don’t go blaming yourself! So many mothers do this when they encounter the same situation but please don’t blame yourself!
It’s clear you would have done anything for your baby ❤️❤️❤️
This video made me tear up really bad... This is incredibly sad and I hope you'll go to therapy, this sounds so traumatic to go through.
I haven't finished the video yet, but I am so so sorry. Can't imagine what it feels like, but I hope you and Andrew both have support systems!
I’m sitting here in tears. Cindy, I’m sending you and Andrew all of my love. The universe definitely has a plan for you and I have strong faith that you will get to be the parents that you deserve to be. I love you both and wish you healing ❤️
I feel for you. I just lost my little girl at 25 weeks in May due to having a chronic abruption for 3 months. Her heart just couldn’t take it anymore 💔
thinking about you so much today cindy, i hope you’re doing well. we love you
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss Cindy. 🤍🕊️
Cindy this is devastating. I'm still crying after the video. You didn't deserve this. This isn't anything you did. It happened, and it's horrible, and I can see your soul is shattered. You're valid in all that you feel, and I can't imagine the weight of it all. I hope that each day you can heal a little, and please know that you have so much love and support in this community. You are loved, you are valid, and you will find your happiness again. Don't push yourself, be gentle, and do what you need to keep pushing forward.
Cindy I am SO sorry. You are a ray of sunshine and the last person that deserves this. You are an Angel and your baby will live on forever in you and your husbands hearts forever. Please take all the time you need to heal. We are all here for you❤️
Edit: I also want to thank you for sharing your story. SO many people have gone through this and no one realizes bc society pressures them to not talk about these things. You are so strong. Thank you, you are not alone
You’ve faced the worst of life on this earth, the death of a child. Nothing is harder or can be. Although recovery sounds impossible now, it will happen and existing will (although different) be enjoyable again. Unfortunately your son is no longer with you, but don’t forget he will always be your child. That connection is unbreakable. He is and will be part of your family history for eternity even when we have all passed on to the other realm. 💙. We are all thinking about you Cindy and praying that Mother Nature will be easier on you in future. She is to blame for this, not you 💜. Don’t lose hope.
Cindy… I love you so so much and I am so incredibly sorry for this tremendous loss you and Andrew are suffering. You are an incredible mother. This does not take that away from you.
You all are in my heart.
Cindy don't ever think this is your fault, you and Andrew gave that boy the happiest hour of his life by sticking by him until the end. Whether heaven or not, he's in a better place now - no longer suffering. I can't promise that you won't have another chance to be a mother again, but don't give up hope. You definitely deserve to be a mother, you'd be a great one.
Oh Cindy, I’m crying with you. I’m so sorry this happened. Please don’t blame yourself. Sending you and Andrew so much love.
There are no words. Very few people can understand this pain, I would not wish it on my worst enemy. Time helps, but it will never be the same. I just wanted to tell you that no matter what, you are a mother. Your son may not be with you physically, but he will be with you forever in spirit and in your hearts. And you will always be his mother. When you love someone, they are never really gone. And you loved this baby with all your heart. And I am sure he knew it. He is lucky to have you as a mother. Take care of yourselves, Cindy. I wish you and Andrew all the strength in the world to help you cope. You will be in my prayers...
i just came across this video and know basically nothing about you. but i am so sorry, and you and andrew are such incredibly brave souls.
this is NOT your fault, angel. seemingly random miscarriage is not the mother’s fault, you clearly did everything right and i’m sorry it still happened.
you and andrew take care of each other, okay? get grief counseling, both of you, talk to each other and your mother in law a lot, and there are so many women out there who understand what you’re going through, and want to support you just like others supported them during this time in their lives.
survivors of trauma, especially women who have suffered loss like this, feel such a powerful aching to take care of each other. don’t be afraid of “troubling” others with your feelings, okay? the people who love you and the people who share your experiences are happy to help and share your burdens.
Literally been through EXACTLY what u went through - 2 years ago. Cervix issues. The trauma stays with u but it gradually becomes more manageable. If u want to talk please message me. Listening to u echos my experience and I have gone on to have a baby girl at 39.
He was here, he was loved, you did all you could and you are not to blame. It was unfair and cruel - nothing can or will hurt as much as this again.
Sending u all my love xxx
that’s a title i hoped to never see, i’m so incredibly heartbroken for you. i know nothing anyone could possibly say right now will make it hurt any less, just know that you are so so loved and supported and most importantly - that none of this is your fault in any way. you did everything right. life is just cruel and extremely unfair sometimes and contrary to the popular saying NOT everything happens for a reason. wishing you and andrew nothing but love and healing.
Oh hun I am so so sorry for your loss 💜
Please take all the time as you need!
I started almost crying with you when I saw the title and thumb nail. I am so so so sorry for your and Andrew's loss. Please know that none of it was either of your guy's fault. Take all the time you need for this. We will always be here to watch and support you no matter what happens or how long you're gone.
You don't recover from something like this, you learn to live with it by being as strong as you are. That baby boy had the best mom he could ever have ❤ and who knows, maybe he'll get a sister or a brother, but for now take care of yourself and August will definitely be helping you ❤
Thank you for sharing this with us, we all support you from all over the world ❤❤❤
Im so so sorry Cindy, I can never know how you're feeling at this moment, I know nothing can be changed, but never lose hope. It will all get better, time heals all wounds. Sending all the love you to and Andrew right now. We're all here for you
i’m so deeply sorry Cindy. I feel exactly how you feel. i was having a normal pregnancy back in 2020 and at 37 weeks, i gave birth to my babygirl and she also passed within an hour.. 💔 my husband and i had to go thru this all alone because it was the peak of covid 😞 i pray for you and your husband to heal, it doesn’t go away but it does get a little easier to deal with 🥺 i’m so sorry you had to go thru this, i pray you and your husband get blessed with your miracle rainbow baby 🥹🫶🏼 i’m scared also to get pregnant again but i try to
have hope that i’ll have a baby again 🥺
I can't even imagine how you are feeling right now Cindy. Don't ever blame yourself for what happened, nobody could have predicted what would happen.
Know that we are always here for you and never feel ashamed of your grief. Take any time you need and Don't force yourself to do anything.
I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but I couldn't stop myself. I cannot even imagine how you feel Cindy. I hope you will get better, somehow, with time. You are a lovely person and you deserve the best only.
I am heartbroken and crying, Cindy, I'm so sorry for your loss. The strength it must have taken for you to sit down and film this, let alone publish it, is immeasurable. Please remember that you are still a woman, still an individual, with so much worth: who you are is not lost. We are so many who love and support you, and who are mourning this with you ❤ Much love
I'm always rooting for you, Cindy.
My heart breaks for you Cindy...I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine the pain you're going through. We love you, we're here for you, we are sending you our love and support. Take care of yourself my dear. 💖
I'm so sorry. So sorry. I'm simmer A from twitter and I heard about this and... Did I say I was sorry. This is beyond horrible news and my heart is breaking for you (and a little for your son too). And yes 23 weeks is the earliest, it was over when water broke .. as you knew. You are so smart and sweet and creative and caring, you deserved better than this.
Cindy I’m deeply sorry for what happened, please look after yourself and your mental health.
Cindy, im so so devastated for your loss…. This is not your fault! When i gave birth to my first daughter we both almost died because of severe preeklampsia. I blamed myself and my body for so long but that was totally unnecessary and damaging for no reason. Sometimes things happend beyond our control and accepting that is the first step to heal..
Remember that you are so strong and created beautiful little August! You’ll always be his mom. Take your time ❤️