GETTING MARRIED YOUNG | things I've learned, finances, outside judgment, & living together!
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- Опубліковано 16 лип 2024
- // things I've learned getting married young! in this chatty girl talk video, I share things I've learned after getting married at 22. while it's only been a few months of marriage, I wanted to share my heart, tips, advice, and my thoughts on our marriage so far. we talk about finances, being intentional in marriage, putting pressure on yourself, and supporting your spouse. I hope you enjoy this marriage video- let me know if you would like to see more marriage or wedding content! #gettingmarriedyoung
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Items Mentioned:
Marriage Journal- bit.ly/3gKQU7p
The Meaning of Marriage (book)- bit.ly/2JP0tGi
You and Me Forever (book)- bit.ly/2WiV392
My Marriage Podcast Episodes:
10 Things I Learned In The First Week of Marriage- spoti.fi/3oKwyOh
All About Our Wedding- spoti.fi/378i191
Things I Wish I Knew Before Marriage- spoti.fi/37TsxjH
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Instagram | @michellereed / michellereed
My Podcast | But, What's Next? apple.co/3drvN75
Business Inquiries | thisissmileyandshell@gmail.com
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Let me know what other videos you'd like to see from me! Whether that be more week in my life vlog-style videos, week in my life in Dallas videos, Dallas videos, or lifestyle vlogs in Dallas. Let me know if you'd like to see more finance videos on budgeting, saving, and being financially independent in your 20s! Or more videos of me trying new things for a week, whether that be new skills or habits. Or videos on getting married, planning a wedding, or getting married young!
So true!! I got married at 19 (he was 24) and it's been 3 years now. I feel like so many people told me that my life was going to end after getting married, but it's been so awesome for both of us. We've both done master's degrees, started really awesome careers, had a baby, and are building our dream home! It's so much more than we could have done individually and God has blessed us so much!
this makes me so happy! y'all seem to be thriving- really so sweet to hear about.
Amen girl! God bless.
Do you work from home?
I got married at 22 and it failed but I’m not at all cynical about the idea of getting married young, I think it depends on the match and the reasons you’re getting married. I would just advise those who are thinking of getting married young (or anyone, really) to make sure they’re doing it for the right reasons and the main key is to make sure you’re marrying someone who has the same values as you and you both see your lives going in the same direction. Having the same values I would say is a major key to having a lasting marriage, if you have too many differences, you’re going to clash all the time and it will just be miserable, all the time. Relationships take work but they shouldn’t be hard, like it shouldn’t be a constant burden and you shouldn’t constantly feel worried you’re going to lose your relationship, if you feel that kind of anxiety and you’re not yet married, I’d say that relationship is not for you and I wish someone had been more straightforward with me about that before I got married, run in the opposite direction of that relationship! Never expect that a rocky relationship will get better after you’re married or that your partner will see your points someday and eventually change to “your side”.
Also, make sure you are in the mental space to get married, don’t expect someone to complete you, if you have a lot of internal struggles and you’re not dealing with them, you’re going to weigh your marriage down with them. Definitely take time to work on your struggles, you’ll never be perfect and that’s okay, but it doesn’t mean that a better more content-with-yourself version doesn’t exist and even after you’re married you shouldn’t stop striving to be the best you and same goes for your partner.
You deserve to be in a satisfying marriage/relationship, you deserve to be content and satisfied in yourself and who you are. Get married young, get married at any age you want, but don’t settle on a partner but also not on yourself.
Amen, sooo true
My husband and I got married a little over a year ago when we were both 21! We have loved being married. One big thing that I learned about it is being able to create a life together instead of needing to merge two separate lives down the line. I still get to explore and do everything I wanted, but now with a best friend by my side! Loved your insights!
I totally agree with this. so important to have a life together! thank you for sharing!
We bought our first home at 22 and married at 23. That was 30 years ago.
house at 22 is so impressive!
I got married at 22. Tomorrow will be our 20 year anniversary. Had my first daughter at 26 and another daughter 6 1/2 years later.
this is so awesome! the real goals, haha.
I wish I was you
But I’m almost 27 and still single. Must be nice to be pretty enough for that
@@AmberDennis001 Your time will come. Don't stress. Enjoy the things you are able to do now because life changes. There is no time limit for marriage and family. Everyone is different.
@@arlenevillanueva7585 I want to be 30 and engaged. It must be nice to be you. I wish I was beautiful enough to settle down but I just turned 27.
I get so excited when you post marriage content! I’m 20 and getting married in May while still in college. My fiancé and I started dating in high school and really we just don’t want to wait any longer to live together and be a unit. I relate to your faith and your journey so much. Thank you for sharing!
thank you for watching Cassie! congrats on everything too!
I’m getting married in May and I’m 20 too!!! Also still in college :)
Getting engaged at 19- I thought people would react in the same way you would. But everyone is so supportive and kind, which is great!
I just got engaged this past Saturday. We are both 22 and everyone is telling us we are too young to get married now and to wait a few years, but neither of us want to. Thank you for this video it helped a lot.
Thank you SO much for this video. I am 21, and I know my boyfriend of 5 years is planning on proposing any time now. I am scared because we are so young, but I can’t explain the excitement and peace I am feeling knowing we are better together. This advice was so helpful!
@@AmberDennis001 Damn, don't unload your misery onto her. Looks definitely aren't what gets you married, it's character, honesty, commitment and personal developed
I got married at 22 and I agree - I didn’t receive judgement like people had always warned about! So happy to see you and Aidan thriving 💗
awh so cool- glad to hear you didn't as well!
You’re very matured. You’re definitely a good role model! I got married October this year. We are both 26. I think 22 is a good age!🥰 good luck to you and your hubby on this journey !
Love this! I got married at 21 and we've been married for a year and a half! One thing I love is getting to create new traditions with my husband! I can't wait to carry them into the future when we have kids.
My husband and I got married 5 months ago and also didn't live together before we married, either. I love watching, cheering and praying for you two as you grow in marriage, experiencing it myself too! :)
awh thank you so much Lainie! it's cool being in the same boat as someone else as well :)
I am currently in a 2.5 year relationship with my boyfriend and we’ve talked about getting married one day even though it won’t be for a while but this video made me so excited for marriage one day
I love it when you’re so transparent about everything ♥️ thank you for spreading so much light
Off topic but she’s really pretty and thankyou for the advice💕🤍
awh thank you Brooklyn! so sweet of you
You’re young , mature, and are definitely on the right track, so sometimes it helps not to over think it!
Omg you hit the nail on the head with the “viewing us as a team” that’s my favorite part of marriage and I also feel it has motivated me so much. I do believe that this is how god intended it. I also feel that it gives me a lot of safety and freedom. I always tell my husband that he’s my ‘home’ now. All I need to do is hug him to feel at home no matter where I am or what’s going on
I love that you are able to reflect on the things you have learned thus far!!! Your insights are super helpful for me
always so appreciative of your comments Sam!
yay!! loved this!! im getting married next august and my fiance and i are waiting to live together too!! it feels so good knowing that there are others who wait too!!
I just got married on Saturday so this video was so helpful and sweet to watch☺️☺️💕💕 I listen to every podcast episode so this was just a great reminder of all the amazing things I’ve learned while being engaged and now married for a few days!!!
I have no intentions of getting married young, but I love your videos always and just enjoy how you express your values ❤️ so happy you’re happy!!
Love your mindset on slowing life down and milestones, lately have been trying to relax under the pressure of what my next move is while trying to enjoy whats in front of me for a minute and to stop and smell the roses:).
Just got married at 22 this year as well! Best decision I’ve ever made 💛💍 I relate so much to the pressure you talked about, loved your advice on enjoying life right now and not worry about what comes next
Thank you so much for being willing to share more about your marriage online! I know marriage is super intimate (I mean it's a covenant with one another and God!) so it can be hard, but it truly helps, and I kind of feel like we're friends because of how much you share! Thanks for being bold in your faith and not trying to hide it or change it!
getting married in 2 weeks at 19 and really needed to hear this advice!
I’m engaged and will be getting married at 22 so I loved hearing all that you had to say about marriage! It’s so refreshing to hear a younger person who’s actually in the midst of it share their perspective. 🤍
I truly love how you speak about things and the balance you have in your life! From finances, your relationship to time by yourself, etc. I am in a long term relationship (long distance at the moment lol thx covid) one thing I noticed that you said was how you are both very independent and how important that is! We are the same way. But it’s always so special coming together at the end of the day 💕
I got married young (at 21!) in May & this video completely sums up how I’ve been feeling about everything too! You definitely described the joys & hardships of being newly weds so well & I really enjoyed hearing your perspective, Michelle.
I got married at 20 (almost 5 years ago now🥳) and it really does feel so special that we are able to finish “growing up” together. I definitely don’t think getting married that young is good for everyone, but if it is right for the couple it’s a built-in best friend/teammate and I wouldn’t trade it for the world ❤️
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Michelle! I admire how reflective and thoughtful you are about life.
loved this video Michelle, thank you!!! my boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, since we were 16 and 17 and we both just turned 20 and 21. we plan on getting engaged within 2021 and getting married after we graduate college in 2022. I have always been so nervous about what other people would say or think about the decision to get married young but all of your marriage videos and podcast episodes have helped my anxieties so much!!! really looking forward to watching your wedding video when it comes out :) hope you had a very merry Christmas and blessed holiday season!
Got married at 20 and almost 22 in April and I don’t regret it at all 🤍
Hey Michelle! I love watching your videos it’s been so cool to see how much you’ve grown as a person these past few years and now in life with Aiden. I am 21 and I am getting married in July! I am beyond excited to start this new journey and it has been such a blessing to here and see a woman of God’s perspective who I appreciate so much! Thanks for the advice! God bless
I loveee these kinds of videos -- something so comforting about getting stuff done in the morning and hearing about things that I can look forward to with my boyfriend :")
as for other videos I think would be fun, I think Dallas videos would be fun! I also remember back in the day when you did some finance videos for someone in their 20s and those were always insightful and helpful!!
love this video! my bf and i will probably be getting engaged within the next ~6 months I feel like and it’s really nice to hear your opinions and things you’ve learned! im from northern VA and go to a big state school here. the concept of getting married young is definitely weird to a lot of people at my school (including a lot of my close friends) so it’s nice to hear that not everyone feels as though getting married young is “weird”
Thank you so much for opening up about this and being a great role model. We love Michelle
I got married mid 2019 and the morning and night thing is still my favorite thing! Also having a teammate is so comforting because you know you have someone to go to that knows everything about your goals and dreams while also having a person to fall back on when something doesn’t go as planned.
You’re more mature, put together, and down to earth than people my age in the mid 30’s Michelle. Too bad more of you do not exist. Great video!
I can't agree more on discussing finances with your partner before you live together and/or before you get married.
This is great. I got married at 24 (maybe not super young, but young according to our culture) and didn’t live together until we were married and wouldn’t change it!
Shared this video with my younger friends. So true on the things you discussed!! I’ve been married a year now and it’s been wonderful. Our only issues have been family drama and we try to manage it the best we can as a unit. But we definitely communicate on everything that’s important to us as a couple and still have our independence which I think has helped us the most to have a strong marriage so far. :)
Getting married in June and we don’t live together and I’ll be 22 when we get married! So fun to see a step ahead and learn from you all! Praying for you all and your marriage! 😊
Aw these videos are the best I loved your podcast about this so it’s cool to see a video bout it on this platform! And hear about your learning experiences ❤️
LOVED this video!!! I got married at 22 too!! I think it’s such a blessing to find love at a young age, so much life to live together ❤️
My husband and I always say that the best part about being married is knowing we always have someone to have each other’s back and someone to go through hard and good times with. Marriage is so special ❤️
He’s from NJ and I’m from CA (we met in college in AR), others thought it would never work but here we are 4 years later and 2 years married making it work. We’ve both had to make sacrifices, and that was a given going into the relationship, but we have always been so happy and always make the best out of life together. ❤️
This felt like a podcast which is great because I just finished this week's episode and I wanted more Michelle 😂♥️
I love this video! I got married at 22 as well and I am loving married life!
I resonate with a lot of what you shared ♥️ I got married at 24 and there’s something special about building a life together rather than waiting til we’ve “made it”. One thing that’s been great is post-marital counseling with the church! There’s a lot of emphasis on pre but the first few years can be the ones if we put in work and include God.
I have also learned these things from dating my boyfriend. I love this video! We are planning to get married in 2021 and have our ceremony in the future.
Wow Michelle, I am so thankful for you and your wisdom. You are seriously such a big sister role in my life and I I have learned so much from you. My family even knows you because I’ve watched you for so long. I remember watching your prom videos and to see you now is just so special. I feel like I’ve grown so much along side you by seeing you grow. You talking about your struggles with anxiety and sleep helped me in my own struggles so much. Again I am so so thankful for you! Blessings!
I always remember your comments Abigail, they mean so much to me!
I'll be 22 when I get married next summer so this is honestly such a great video for me right now - thanks Michelle!! 🥰🌟💕
Thank you so much for sharing, Michelle! Loved hearing all this :)
I loved your latest podcast, Michelle! I’m really loving your content 💖
really looking forward to watching this! hope you have a nice week😊
you too, Catherine!
Yes!! I just got engaged and need all the advice!!
so exciting! congrats!
@@michellereedg ah thank you!! ❤️
I can totally relate as a newlywed! We got married in March 2020, and hitting a new milestone has pressured me all year.
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 2.5 years but we’re waiting until I finish my PhD program before getting married (2.5 more years). I’m so excited and this video made me look forward to it even more!! 😊
My boyfriend and I are both 22 and have been together for 3 years. Marriage is definitely something that we are planning for but weddings are so expensive! Budgeting my savings for a wedding and buying a house in a couple years is so tough. I love watching your wedding/life advice videos because your advice is so helpful! 🥰
i think finding someone special that young is really amazing, and especially if it's something real and permanent marrying young can be a beautiful thing. i honestly enjoy watching your videos in these times of not a lot happening, because that's kind of how life is sometimes. it's ridiculous how every step on the way comes with so many expectations but as long as they aren't personal goals in that exact moment, who cares? personal happiness should always come first.
Me and my husband are both 21 and we just got married last month! He’s military and we’ll be moving to Japan in March. I’m so excited to take this next step in life and I’m loving marriage so far! It’s been hard because he works a lot of 12 hour shifts, but knowing that I get to go to bed with him every night has been getting me through it.
I’m 31 and my bf and I have been together for 8 years, he was my roommate before that for 2 years and we met my senior year in high school. We aren’t married because marriage isn’t really for us at this time (our parents both went through terrible divorces) but we are happy for other people who get married :) the thing that stands out most to me is we love each other more now than we did when we first started dating. Also we’ve developed our own language where sometimes when we’re talking to each other in front of other people they’re not able to track our conversation lol. We have to make a conscious effort to use our big people sentences because we just do it automatically.
loved this video😍!! I’ve been on a relationship for 4 years, i’m 20 but in Mexico it’s a little bit more common to get merry at 25 haha. Thank you for sharing Michelle, I love you so much!!🤍✨
I'm 29 living with a long term partner and getting all the hints from family and friends to get married so can really relate to the pressure to do the next thing. really great advice on that one :) :) if you can be happy in the now then you are already lucky enough!!
So good! We didn't get married young (25 & 27), but we got married fast (1.5 years from meeting to our wedding) and I agree with everything you've said. We also have been using The Marriage Journal since we got married and it's be soooo helpful and I'm super thankful for it.
I'm 26 and still single. I wish I looked like you. I guess I'm too ugly for a husband
im 21 & just got engaged to my boyfriend of 6 years this past friday! this video was just what i needed at a time when i was feeling a little self conscious when i should be super happy.. living in the nyc area i can def already feel a little judgement for being young!
6 years is insane, congrats Marissa!
i love this video! Also so true, I know that I want to get married when I'm a little bit older just bc my parents did the same as well. But I totally understand why people get married "younger" too!
I definitely feel the pressure to meet a new milestone, specifically the baby one 😂 it feels like every month I have to remind my family that we’ll be waiting a while before we have kids. But it helps that my husband and I are one the same page 🙌
not married lol but in a serious long term relationship! commitment is very serious yet exciting at the same time!
I love your advice Michelle 😊. I’m a Christian too and my parents told me and my sister that they waited to live together after getting married because it was the right thing to do and they tell us to wait until marriage once we meet the right guy and get engaged because we don’t want to rush into anything 😁!!!
Really good video. I am so glad that you didn’t get many people who were against you getting married at your age. I am 22 and my fiancé is 23, and we are not receiving support from our family about getting married. We are financially stable and have savings, but our family does not like how we are still in college for another year. We are Christians as well and have been praying together about it, and we believe that we are ready for that step. It’s been hard not having their support, and we’ve considered taking their advice and waiting 2/3 more years, but it’s hard to imagine waiting that long.
Lovely video. So happy for you. Can you do an updated makeup routine for us sometime soon? I love the warm colors you put on ❤️
Love the hairstyle! Great tips and advice for anyone!♥︎
thanks love!
I just got engaged this past weekend so I love this video and learning from you, and am so excited for marriage 💍
Hi, Michelle! I'm a sophomore in college who's been struggling with insomnia (much like I remember you did in your sophomore /junior year)... Last week when I couldn't sleep I put your podcast on in the background to help relax me and got to listen to a ton of your episodes. Just wanted to tell you I appreciate you and all your creative work so much and thank you! I've been watching you since you were in high school and I so admire the person you've become!
awh, I'm so happy you enjoyed listening to the podcast! insomnia is not fun- I still struggle with it to this day. praying you find relief from it!
At 11:27 I think you were trying to say reconvene! 😊 Great video, love all your content! Brings me so much joy and peace 🥰
I got married two years ago at 20, and I agree that no one really said anything negative to us! I’ve heard other people complain that they get rude comments about getting married young...but we didn’t 🤷🏻♀️
Can’t wait to see the vlog after I’m done working today!! Hope you have a terrific day Michelle!! 💛
awh this one is just a sit down! new vlog coming friday though :)
@@michellereedg no worries, I’m still excited for this one and the one on Friday! :)
Thank you for this video. Love how honest you are.
I’m 21 years old and got married 3 months ago. I can’t be happier❤️
Definitely agree with most of the things you said. Sometimes people tend to judge others for their lives. But everyone has their own life path.
Take care. xoxo
congrats on getting married!
This with the milestone is so truth!
Even in complete other topics. Now I am doing an exchange in another country and it s so a blessing that I can do that even in corona times. But now that I am here I don't really appreciate it and I am thinking of my bachelor thesis, work life etc what will challenge me afterwards. Slowing down, appreciating the blessings from God in here and now is such a goal! And I need the holy spirit to help me in this.
I just wanted to say you're doing great. We're the exact same age so I've been watching you since (we) were in high school. You've grown, your channel has grown, and your relationship has grown!! Go you, girl
Hi love your videos, they are so relatable and calming ♥️✨ I'm also getting married next summer therefore these kinds of videos are my favorite to watch right now 💫
congrats Kristine!
I’ve been waiting for this one! 😍
Love this video and your content overall!
I’ve been following you since like 8th grade. We are close in age and despite having completely different career paths (I’m a teacher) I’ve always felt like I relates to you. I got engaged in October and I’m getting married in June 2021 and I’m so SO ready to be together. We’ve been long distance for a majority of our relationship and I’m just so ready to stop saying “goodbye.” I love your videos! Thank you for your help and investment 😊
We have like the same story! My fiance and I were long distance for the majority of our relationship. We got engaged in October and are getting married next June!! Have a great Christmas!
I love your style and the relationship with God you have! Your stories are so cool!
Thanks for the advice Michelle
Veryyy interesting topic!! Thank you!!
Have a great day ❤️
i know i'm going to learn a lot! love your chatty videos :)
thanks Jessica!
my path is a little bit different from yours since I'm getting married in 2022, I will be 24 then, but we've been living together for over a year now since it worked for us the most (we've been together since 2012)! but I still feel excited for marriage and I feel it will change some things for us 🤍 I love listening to you talk about marriage and your dress is actually my dream dress! I hope you don't mind me showing your wedding pictures to everyone lol 😅🥰
I got married @23 and we are christians too ! 🥰 hey sister ! 🌟 loved these lessons and i resonate with soooo many of them !
im 24 but these advice videos are so helpful!!!
The background in this video is so pretty!!😊
Thanks for making this video Michelle!!
thanks for watching Charlotte!
In my late 50's. Married 32 years to a girl I met when she was 16 and I was 18. Married in our early 20's. No infidelities. No divorces. 3 grown daughters. I consider myself "happily married" but it certainly wasn't always happy/perfect. We stuck it out through the difficult times, we never wanted to hurt each other intentionally. We never confused "being in love" with "being happy".
Happiness is a fleeting feeling, you can be happy, unhappy, sad, angry, etc over the course of a single day. Even when we were not "happy" for an extended period, we both admit that we still "loved" each other and wanted things to get better. Don't get obsessed with how "happy" you are (or or not).
A shared Faith and belief in our vows. That was our core.
I called the 30's-40's "The Hump"...when the kids are most demanding, when money was tightest, when we were too tired, anxious, busy to treat each other the way we each deserved to be treated. When the most temptation to stray happened....if you can get past "The Hump" without doing anything you can't forgive each other for....things will get better. Hang on.
One of the biggest hurdles we all face as married people...the decline in sex...is the biggest issue for men when going over "The Hump". In that mix is hormonal birth control, which was a BIG factor for my wife. All you young married folks...be aware. The whole "she needs you to be X (romantic/loving/etc)" to have sex and "you need sex to feel romantic/loving/etc toward her...vs resentful that she hasn't touched you in weeks" is a THING. You need to talk about it, schedule it, do something about it or it will eat your relationship alive.
I still love my wife now as much as I did when she was my beautiful 20-something yo bride. It's been as close to a "Storybook Romance" as reality can provide. But it was absolutely NOT a "Happily Ever After" story. Western media...especially romance/rom-com's...has been a HUGE problem for our society IMO.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years and I can not wait for us to get married and live together. I keep saying that it feels stagnant and we need to move onto the next step, but you said it perfectly in this video. Just slow down and appreciate life.
As difficult as it is, I pray every night for God to help me enjoy the anticipation. I know when that day comes it will be so special.
I just recently got married (yesterday was our one month) and I agree I love the husband and wife lingo. It was a little funny at first because I was like, “whoa I have a husband now!” But I absolutely love that I get to call him my husband and he calls me his wife 😍🤍 ps: loved this video Michelle!
Love your advices 💞
I can't wait to watch the wedding day video 🥰🥰
hi i love your vids!! my boyfriend and i have been together for a little over 2 years now and i have a feeling that he will be proposing in the next year or so & we will be 21! So i loveeee the marriage content especially since you got married young as well!! ❤️ thank you for being so open with advice on the ups and downs of your marriage & in life! i really appreciate that! you're amazing :)) i'm also in texas, so after covid let's get coffee!!
I was engaged when I was 18. I’m glad I didn’t get married young. Although, if it were the person I did end up marrying I would have!