Never Be Invisible Again - 3 Secrets to Being Seen After 60
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- Опубліковано 11 бер 2024
- Discover how to reclaim your visibility and vibrancy after 60. Whether you're looking to boost your confidence, make meaningful connections, or simply stand out in a crowd, our expert tips are tailored for the vibrant woman who refuses to fade into the background. Dive into practical advice and inspirational strategies that will help you shine brightly in this exciting chapter of life.
Remember your invisibility cloak has an on/off switch!!
#EmpowermentAfter60 #VisibilityAfter60 #AgingGracefully #ConfidenceOver60 #SeniorStrength #LifeAfter60 #BeSeenBeHeard #SixtyAndMe
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We recently went to a Stones concert. Someone behind me remarked " Gosh! All these old people here!😅😅".. forgetting She was one of them 😅😅😅
hilarious!
I find two great advantages at getting old.. one is just being me and not caring what people think anymore and the other is being invisible and not being leered at, its great and liberating.
And you can be sure you wont get raped!!
Yes! Finally you can be whomever you wish to be. And you can even be invisible! Serious super power!
Yes, no longer feeling like prey is nice.
I used to like being flirted with. We all want to feel attractive no matter what age we are that is how I feel
@@sharondiaz137 ABSOLUTELY. Look at all the celebrities WELL into their 70s with the long curly hair, low cut tops with huge bonkers, tight jeans, crazy stillettoes, blown up lips, and all about S%X!! See? From cradle to grave, we want to be desired, loved, intimate and admired. Women are women.
I would love a walking buddy or just a buddy in general.
“If you are lucky enough to get old, I think you should celebrate it❣” Iris Apfel 1921-2024
❤
Oh Margaret, you are absolutely the loveliest person ever. Yes, inside and out. You are a treasure for so many of us. Uplifting is the definition of you. Thank you.
You are so kind
We all want to be respected. We are Gods children
I Hear what you say about being out there, but I live in a place that does not feel comfortable going outside or interacting with the people that live in my complex! I am low income senior living in Bakersfield California and I can tell you where I live is not a nice place to live. They are slum lords and most of the people that live here drug dealers, prostitutes, thieves, and fences. It is very hard to relate to a lot of these people and getting out there is almost impossible. Most of them act out like children when we have activities. I have chosen not to participate for this reason because you can't even go down and paint without somebody making a problem! I really don't know what to do because frankly I'm stuck here because I'm low income!!!
@@gingerblack4528 Sounds like many of the better off places too. They follow particularly well off areas outside cities the world over.
You have never addressed those of us who are disabled...that is real real invisibility !
@debrapahl7573 Yes Debra, My disabled mum lived with us and I constantly had to remind visitors to include her in converation, even at mealtimes, all around the table, I would say "What do you think mum?" but conversation mostly reverted back to whoever wanted the limelight. On departure I would say "Are you not saying good-bye to mother?" They would reply "Ah, yes" as an afterthought. Invitations for dinner were not specific as to whether she was included, but we all preferred meals together at home, so not a problem for us, but it could well be for others. It's the same for those using mobility scooters in town, some people interrupted from their gossiping in the middle of the pathway are often offended if they are asked if they might give way. Those objecting to 20mph speed limits in town have never considered those who are physically impaired, young or old.
@@jennywren8937 Animals are way better than humans. I have seen this happen so many times in my life.
@@Wisdom-Nuggets-Tid-Bits In many ways they are, unlike humans they do not generally have a desire to destroy their own species. Little Buster now 18+ will probably be the last dog I shall rescue because of soaring veterinary fees, the local practice requested £850 for dental treatment. Then informed me it was the deposit! An elderly chap in a nearby village had to pay £1K for a catheter in his cat. I can offer this service free of charge, I did it regularly for my father in his final years.
@@jennywren8937Great post!
@@doloresaquines1529Hi Dolores, there's a nice comment for us 👆 somewhere. Happy St.Patrick's Day.
Honestly, I absolutely love being invisible!! I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Yes! I love that other women here recognize it as the super power it is.
I figured I could wear the same thing to work and no one would notice.
A sales person was helping me, a younger man interrupted so she could help him….i felt invisible…so I said miss could you please finish helping me first…problem solved. Young man not happy, but surprised I would speak up!…so…stand up for ourselves!
Good for you!
Yes! Well done, you!
Good for you. I certainly do the same!
I'm not ageing, I'm evolving!
I find often I'm ok with being either invisible or just in the background. When I want attention, I am able to get it....I'm almost 75 & really not needing much from people. Kind of happy in my own little world!!
Yes!
Somedays I like being in my own little world, but too much makes me lonely & then depress. And then that awful habit starts..... OVER eating!! 😕
I had that very experience just last week ,of feeling completely invisible. I was in a restaurant with my daughters ( both in their twenties) and my hubby. I was trying to get the bartender’s attention and he didn’t look at me at all. He kept looking at the girls and even acknowledged my husband. Felt a little embarrassed at the time but remembered that there was a time when I was noticed too. As you say Margaret it’s not so awful to be able to sit back and observe. We had our time,now it’s time to let younger people have theirs.😀😅❤️
When I was in my 20s, I went to see a film with my mother, then in her 60s. There were a couple of young girls behind us whispering in a really annoying way. I turned and glared at them. They continued to whisper. I glanced at them again with audible breath. Nothing. My mother then gave them a look - just one, real fast, no words, not noisy breath, just the focused disapproving look of a sixty-something woman. Silence from them for the rest of the film. Maybe we can't get the attention of the bar tender, but we have other strengths. ;0)
I loved in a Grace and Frankie episode on Netflix, when they couldn't get a young man to see them, they wanted cigarettes or something around the counter and he was flirting with a young lady. Frankie ends up taking it and Grace doesn't realize it until they get in the car. Not something I'd recommend doing but it was funny and many women were shaking their heads in acknowledging the common feeling at our ages
I'm not invisible anymore - I had some pink streaks put through my hair! A conversation starter and it makes me (and others) smile
Love this. I am considering fairy hair, strands of glitter just for fun. When I see other women with them we always get to talking about them and it’s a lovely conversation starter. I have an appointment but have considered cancelling. Feeling silly like it’s too frivolous and attention getting which I usually don’t feel comfortable with either. But reading your comment here has encouraged me to just do it. Thanks.❤
@@tracyfederman7502 I have seen other women with them and they look lovely. I met a lady in her 70s who was on her honeymoon and she had the strands of glitter- so pretty
My daughter recommended "Oprah" reading glasses for me rather than the thinner ones I was wearing. I thought at first "too big" but what a hit at my doctor's office. I ordered quite a few from Amazon in different colors and patients and staff always say how nice they are. They might not notice hair cut, nail color, new shirt but the glasses cut through the mist. ; )
Getting out and volunteering, or offering my gifts to others has really helped me not feel invisible as I age. 🌹
Ditto. I love my meals on Wheels.
Perfect!
P. S. Margaret, if you would consider doing a video on feeling like you're "running out of time" and the fear (or anxiety) that comes with that, I'd really appreciate it. Maybe it might be interesting for a number of those in our community family. Thank you! 🙂 Rosemarie ❤
Thanks Rosemarie - its a good idea! Here's one article one of our bloggers wrote sixtyandme.com/over-60-heres-how-to-deal-with-the-feeling-that-time-is-running-out/ - take good care x
That’s a really good idea. 💕
I’d like to see a video like that too.
I agree
I’m becoming more of a Stoic with each year
I’m 68 and lift weights. I have also lost 100 pounds by giving up junk food. I still work. Many of my friends are younger. I am no longer invisible and am healthier than I have been in my whole life. It can be done!!! Never give up.
I actually lift weights and work as well. I’ll soon be 68. I work with way younger people and have no intentions of giving up. I get up, dress up and get out! And red lipstick always 😂
@@suzyq5522 ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Wow! 100 pounds lost! Congratulations! Great job!
Yes I found when I lost 50 pounds, people noticed, but I also got "Don't get too thin, older women look drawn if you lose too much" from a few ; ) Congrats though, that is BIG accomplishment and you deserve much kudos.
When I was younger, I slways wore red lipstick. I always got alot bbn of attention but as I got older I switched to a peach colour thinking it would look softer than red. A few months ago I switched back to red, and I love it. Red has alot of power, if you dont over do it.
It looks so good on other people, but I always got it stuck over my teeth.
@lindaferguson630.
I'm 72 and still wear red lipstick. It's the only thing that makes me look presentable ❤💄
Taking the initiative to be friendly, interested, and caring is something that most people respond to. Then you can be the cool old lady! People will remember you.
As an almost 80 year old woman I have changed my eating habits because my lunch is my dinner and a small snack is my evening meal. I’m happy to say that my weight is stable.
I also enjoy a larger meal midday. 🙂
I’ve been thinking of swapping to this routine Barbara. I’m just in the same automatic pilot from old work days and days when my mum was alive and we ate dinner in the evening together. Do you eat breakfast though, if you don’t mind my asking?
@@paulaevans2555
Hi Paula, yes I eat breakfast. Sometimes a banana and toast and sometimes a boiled egg with toast. I eat around 9am but first when I wake up I drink about 10 oz of warm water with lemon and after that I enjoy leisurely my coffee.
Thanks for asking.
That sounds like a healthy start to the day Barbara. Thanks for sharing. 🙂@@barbaradieckmann9020
Sounds like a great routine.
I love your videos and love your advice in this one. I have observed that many people who feel invisible are, in reality, making themselves invisible without knowing that they're doing it. I think they lack self-esteem and it shows in their behavior. They don't make eye contact with store clerks, medical professions, front desk people or even passing strangers. They don't carry themselves with confidence and good posture. They don't speak up loud and clear with these people. And they don't engage them in conversation. Also, they don't smile at others. I am 67 and look it. I engage with young people behind the counter or in the store and I get great response. I complement them. When they ask what plans I have for the weekend, I tell them about my exciting plans (no matter how simple, I make it sounds exciting because it is to me) and I find they smile and ask me more about it. Also, yes, it does cost money, but I think it's important to dress well. A nice pair of slacks with a simple blazer, for example will give you so much more authority - someone who is used to respectful attention. Or a nice pair of slacks, a beautiful sweater and a lovely necklace. I have only a few of these, they're not expensive but I take good care of them because I wear them over and over. I think we all - everyone of us - deserves to have high self-esteem and feel worthy of respectful attention in any exchange.
Dead right! Entering a local store I said loud and clear "I've supported this place for twenty years and there's not even a "Good morning Jenny". These days when I enter with a smile I get a response! Shake 'em up a bit if they want to survive.
Great post Lani! Absolutely! I agree on all points. The energy you project is the energy you get back.
I agree
I feel invisible a lot, but right now i prefer that.
Good Morning Margaret and Sisters! Happy Tuesday Blessings to you all.I agree with all the above! We still have something to offer.Stir up your gifts, put a smile on your face! God Bless You All! I am feeling good in my Neighborhood ❤
You looked lovely in the very feminine white sweater.
I always smile at everyone and say hello. I also am a good listener. I try to tune into them in order to understand their vision of life and what’s important for them.
I look into eyes. Also I say thank you a lot as I point out how much I appreciate something they did or a quality they personify. Complements that are genuinely felt and shared are mood boosters. Smiles and eye contact convey I see you.
Wonderful!..Many are lonely. You must cheer so many.
As Jesus said you do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Regarding posture and looking down:it strikes me that the majority of youngsters are old,too!
I think sometimes people just look at you differently when you age. They have their biases. My husband & I are in our mid-sixties. A few years ago he was careless running down our stairs while putting on his t-shirt & not holding the railing. He fell & hurt his shoulder. His shoulder has degraded to the point where he needs shoulder surgery now. Someone we know said to my husband, "how did you get old so fast?" Now if a young person had the same accident that my husband had, and needed shoulder surgery, they wouldn't assume his surgery was due to getting old. I told my husband that after his surgery he will get physical therapy & exercise. I know him & he will not go down without a fight. Then he can prove that person wrong. My point is, don't let others make you feel invisible.
Your husband obviously has the correct attitude to show them! It seems he also has a wonderful support team and cheerleader!
Sweet kitty
What an unkind thing to say. I wish your husband a speedy recovery from his surgery. Take care of each other ❤
@sweet kitty3249 If someone I knew said that to me, I wouldn’t even want to know them! How rude! Hope he’s ignoring them now 👍🇬🇧
I listen to your videos right before I go to bed every night and I sleep feeling unburdened and optimistic. I so appreciate you!
You are so welcome
I have said I knew I would get I just didn't know I'd be this young when it happened. I also say I'm glad to get to be older. Alot of people don't get that chance. Chin up everyone, shoulders back and get to living life w joy! It's the only one we'll ever have.🙂
Hi Jacqueline - wonderful advice - are you from the UK by any chance? Very British 'chin up, shoulders back' :-)
Great topic Margaret. I believe our outward appear is the first impression. So be well groomed, and nicely dressed (not sweat pants and a stained old t shirt) , and hold your head up looking forward with purpose. Wearing a bit of makeup also shows we still care about ourselves. Self respect is so important when presenting ourselves to the world. One thing I have resented my entire life was being ignored. I still will not tolerate it today at 70,
I grew my gray hair out a few years ago, had it for several years, and then decided to color it again because I def felt invisible. Perhaps it was in my own head, but I felt older than I wanted to feel, and since coloring I feel more vibrant and seen.
That’s interesting Audrey. I’ve been growing out my colour too and find, though I’m not too grey, I miss my fairer hair which I’d coloured since my teens. But my hair is so very thin now ( age plus a difficult bereavement a couple of years and plus stresses of house moves still ongoing ), that I worry colour may not be helping. Or then again, maybe it’s losing my colour that’s not helping 🤔
I've always used a semi permanent hair colour because it makes my hair more manageable and it's true, it can be uplifting.
Thanks an idea. Thanks for sharing your experience.@@jennywren8937
Not able walk with speed or purpose....I am recovering from a broken leg. I have collected some gorgeous canes though and that really makes me visible. They also have become part of my style statement. Many compliments and smiles especially with my solid rhinestone cane..
How lovely, such style, and useful for swiping items off the top shelf in the supermarket. I hope the rhinestone one isn't classed as an offensive weapon!
I must be very fortunate never having had any problems being very petite, never had a weight problem, happy being alone, happy sometimes in company. Happy striding up the field wearing my cut down wellies with projects in mind, always humming a tune or singing to the dog, ignoring my disabilites best I can, passing the time of day with occasional walkers or the postman who always asks how we're doing. My posture could do with improvement, trying to straighten out sway back, but making the best of myself each morning is a priority, dab of perfume even when gardening, and before bed. 😊
You have a lovely outlook on life. 🌷
@@martimar7181 Thanks for the compliment❤️
You, my dear, are clearly a goddess!
@@cIvy726 ❤️
I’m a retired nurse in my late 60’s, the best advice I can give is to smile hold eye contact even if they look away, they know you are still watching trust me, keep your distance at 3 feet which is about an arms length,that is the magic number, keep your verbal communication to a minimum, you will Get your conversation especially in family and customer service situations, good luck everyone❣️
Thanks so much for your podcast. I just turned 65 years old today March 22 2024
I did March 13, I never thought I'd feel so young at this age.
Margaret you are such a Blessing to us older ladies keep being your beautiful self❤
I have to agree that once in a while invisibility can be a real plus, although I do prefer to be visible most of the time.
Yes, for example during a bank heist...😂😂😂
Ive never thought about being invisible. I just turn 70 snd yes I still like ro feel and look good, I do walk, get to rhe Y to take silver sheakers, I think my posture is pretty good and I do stay active I go for walks with my dog. Therefore never really gave it much though or cared😊
I find that if I don’t want to be invisible I need to open my mouth and speak first. The younger generation must be afraid of us! I always ask questions and get to know the person even if they aren’t interested in me. Be friendly, and cheerful and kind. Thank you Margaret as always. May I ask where you get your lovely berets?
The younger Generation should not be afraid of us, there is no need! I'm 68 now and all friends of my Kids call me cool. I'm just open really interested in everything!
Well, I have felt invisible many times. It is usually because I will take trouble to look nice or plan an outfit but no one notices or says anything. I know if I were younger people would say oh, I like your top or your bracelet or earrings or nails but it just doesn’t happen anymore. I try to make sure I say something to others about these things(young or older) because I know it means a lot to say something nice like that to someone. It’s a little lift that I miss getting.
Many of my friends who are all of a similar age (late 60's) complain about being invisible. I personally find it to be the best thing about getting older. Alot of unwanted attention now doesn't happen to me when I go out in the world. It is a great relief not to be noticed. I am perfectly content with my level of invisibility.
I agree with that
Personally, being a happy hermit, I love being invisible! I noticed it the first time at around the age of 55 when I had to ask for help to take groceries out to my car because the bag boy was busy leering at a pretty young thing who had two items in her cart but was offered help. I couldn't help smiling inside, but have learned to ask for help if I need it and enjoy the rest of the time when I'm able to just observe the world because I'm invisible.
Such a sweet observation! Love happy hermit!! 🌺
I like being like the person at the end of the bar that sees everyone but they dont' see them. Sometimes though like when I get a haircut/blow out and for a day or so, it looks really nice, someone would say something, but I got used to it.
We need less food, but a lot of people seem to not have noticed this. They don't move very fast; makes you less visible.
II am now 80 ;but in my 70's, I was at the gym and saw a middle aged man come in and look over the room and I was very aware that I was invisible to him. I am 5 3 1/2 and a petite 4 so it wasn't because I was obese . Lol! Immediately I thought of our youth culture.
😢
Men are interested in much younger women! They're welcome.
I would rather not have the attention of a man like that. It is a blessing you are so observant
Hi, Margaret…great video as always…
I’m 74, a retired makeup artist and working two part time jobs. I substitute teach and work at my gym. The times I feel most invisible seem to be in offices, specifically doctor’s offices. I’ve had to search for a new primary care physician. One relatively young female doctor did not look at me when she came in the room or listen to anything I had to say. I’m sure she felt that I am way past my expiration date and she did not have to give me her attention. My answer to this situation was to find another doctor! I refuse to be dismissed. There are competent, caring doctors and other professional people that do not make you feel invisible. My advice is find them and to not settle for anything less!
If you want a real pick me up, purchase a wig! They can be very real looking and not crazy expensive. My hair has been falling out and is very thin. Also, there is compact powder (I use brown) you just dab on your scalp with a full brush that hides the bare part. Amazing! I've seen wig parties on-line (also done in elderly assisted homes❤) and you wouldn't believe the transformation. The attitude changes from unsure and timid to a boost of much needed confidence and feeling more attractive🌺
I have very thick hair which has a mind of its own so styling is limited. Years ago I went to the cinema wearing a lovely wig, layered and highlighted, but the thick band restricted my hearing so I rolled it up at the sides. When the interval lights came on my husband burst out laughing because I'd forgotten to roll it down😂
@@jennywren8937 🤣It's definitely not like having your own hair. At least you had a good laugh! We need more of that. My aunt lost hers in a bowl of soup at a dinner party (must have been a wild one)🌺
@@sherylgergen6672 My aunt had hers swiped off by a pupil on a school outing! Did your aunt finish the soup? I can hear her saying "I ordered hair, not hare". 😄
@@jennywren8937 OMG! Not sure, many years ago but she probably laughed it all off-she was always the life of the party. 🐇They are so improved now you could be in a hurricane, and it wouldn't blow off!
Thanks for the tip!
Looking back I realize that from my late teens until my mid 50s I got enough attention to last me a lifetime. I had a figure to die for and a personality like a bottle of champagne. At 68 I am more in the background but still not invisible. And definitely not unhappy.
Ooh how lovely. I had spots and small boobs. Now I don't have spots. 😊
I got a lot younger too and it's more noticable but it was gradual. I do embrace as I told a younger coworker, no leg/underarm hair now, no pimples, no periods, no worrying about how I look all day, it's okay to be natural. Every season has a good point and bad, you need to embrace the good
Life Lessons For Any Age... Look like you have a purpose. Walk like you know where you're going. Make choices that healthy people make. Be geuinelyly interested to be interesting. All relationships, no matter how short, are 100%/100% propositions. Wall Flowers look like they don't want to be seen, so usually they aren't. Thank you, Margaret, I got it! And, I would like to add that it isn't productive to assume ageism, or any other 'isms'. We know that all individuals in any specific group are not treated the same way, so feeling otherwise results in our defeat, rather than discovering desired solutions. I'm a curious soul, and usually speak first. And, I've discovered that many times I end up with 'a new best friend'. At least that's what a call them, when telling my family about my most recent encounter. LOL
I like it, User! Yes!
I've started seated yoga. I have a spinal injury and severe osteoporosis. Too soon to see any improvement--I've only started and it will take about 6 months given my age and physical condition--but for heaven's sake ladies, stay active if you are, or get active if you aren't already. Unless you're a quadriplegic, there's some sort of movement you can do (and maybe if you are a quadriplegic, too; I have no idea). It's hard for me because I can't take more then a few steps, but I know the yoga will improve my strength, my mobility, and probably my mindset, and maybe that last is the most important. I'm fortunate that the treatment is being offered by a chiropractor who is also a registered yoga teacher and has an undergraduate degree in kinesiology. I'm in great hands and her fee is being covered by insurance, which I am also fortunate enough to have. But the saying is "movement is medicine".
Angie. I absolutely agree!
Good for you Angie, yoga is excellent for all ages and ability, should be offered in schools for those who don't like working up a sweat. My disabled mum used yoga breathing because she suffered angina.
I am 67 and I have been a widow since 2012. Being 67 and “unattached” (not remarried, not dating) makes me feel invisible (sometimes) because most of the people in my “social group” are married or remarried. I would love to be able to go to an event or outing with someone who feels the same way about me as I do about me- be it friendship, more than friendship, serious, etc). It’s like I’m ruled out, invisible - because I am a widow. I do “know”and come into contact with lots of wonderful people because I serve at the coffee kiosk at my church every Sunday. But even with this involvement, at times, I feel invisible!
Carrie. 67 is Young! I know of couples Who have found each other in 60s and 70s. Maybe join in some group or association, other than your usual circle. Go for It!
@@doloresaquines1529 hi Dolores! Wow, thank you for your comment. I have not commented before on 60 and Me, but now that I have and with your encouragement, I will. After my husband died, my daughter, son, and I struggled with losing dad/Russ. Then, on April 5, 2022, my daughter died. She’ll be 30 this March 29. My son and I are doing our best to move through this. I tend to isolate because it’s just me and my son, but I am somewhat involved at my church. It feels really good to “talk” to you. Thank you🌸
@@carrieb9106 Courage Carrie! Glad to help. Bereavement is a serious Matter.
@@doloresaquines1529 ❤️🩹 ✨thank you Delores. You have made a difference🩷
@@doloresaquines1529 🩷🙏🏽🙏🏼
Thank you Margaret. I have learned to smile because it shows that you are still happy about all of your surroundings❤
I’m 68 and I am completely alive and I’ve got a body close to the best I’ve ever had in my life hell yeah baby I wish I could show you a picture but it won’t let me put it here
Honestly, I don't feel invisible. I live in a retirement community where everyone is older. I think that gives me confidence so that even when I am among much younger people I feel that I am attractive and interesting which, in turn, makes a big difference in the way that they perceive me.
Also, being aware of your voice! Especially on the phone. I make an effort now to sound cheerful. Otherwise, when I’m not paying attention my voice has a tendency to sound tired and old. I was talking to a robot and it played what I said back (on the phone) and boy oh boy . ..when I heard my voice it was startling how old and tired I sounded. It’s like I discovered that when I’m not aware of it, i can have a bitchy resting voice! LOL!
I always stand while I make assertive phone calls
Compliment younger people to start the conversation. ❤
Waiting outside our local dental surgery recently, I chatted with a lovely young lady who looked so smart, we talked about hair products, cosmetics, food. Age was no problem.
I find this too Jenny! Love your attitude!
I spend a lot of time with some young families at church, as well as with their precious little ones. I share history trivia with them. had one young friend ask me if I remembered the Great Depression and WWII. I told them, unfortunately, I studied about it in the history books just like they did. I was born just after President Kennedy was elected.
I love when I catch the eye of another woman my age in a parking lot and we don’t wink but we have this half smiling look that says this is all a bit funny.
This just happened to me last week as another woman was exiting a shop through the 'IN' door!😂
Thank you for your confidence, humor, intelligence, joy
I have three daughters and 4 grandchildren I rarely see. I'm not a part of their lives in any meaningful way. They call & visit less and less. When I visit them or ask to visit, I feel like I'm intruding--which I am. When we talk, they take delight in telling me all about the happy times they're spending with each other and/or their many friends. At first, I was hurt at continually being left out of "family" outings. Now, however, I'm more angry than hurt and ready to take action. I genuinely feel they visit at Christmas just for the free food and presents and to avoid the work of decorating, cooking etc. Sooo- this coming Christmas, I'm going to plan a fun trip with the money I'll be saving by not hosting a family get-together. Hopefully, I'll be able to move to a retirement community in Florida or somewhere warm sometime this year, too, and start making some friends and having some good times of my own. Maybe I will be so busy that being invisible to my daughters and grandchildren won't hurt so much. Wish me luck!
Oh yes, I wish you good fortune and happiness ahead. I know others who are hurt this way. My niece cooked for days preparing a Christmas feast for all her offspring who showed up, cleared the table as well as the fridge, then left without washing up or even a thank you. She now works the holiday period for extra cash holiday fund. ❤
Good for you. But don’t weaken. Even if you don’t do anything special take delight in not doing something nice for people who don’t merit it. That’s my motto. Pamper yourself instead. And don’t be sad about situation, it is what it is. Good luck ❤.
Thank you, Margaret. I'm feeling invisible in my house sale. My buyer and both solicitors involved are all younger women, and I've not been included in some of the decision-making in the process, whether the decision made suits me, or not! I think they all assume that because I am an older woman living alone that I don't have an outside life and will just go along with whichever decisions are made. I'm having to constantly chase my solicitor to be heard.
Amanda. Your solicitor in this process is being paid by you, and therefore must take your instructions. Take the reins in this matter, write to your solicitor and make it clear to her that you must be involved in all and any decisions relating to the house sale. In any event, it would be very odd for a solicitor not to follow the client's (you) instructions.
I think I have been lucky I have not felt invisible but have definitely had some hard times. I always try to connect with everyone I’m out with. I think that is the most important thing to do is be involved with the people you are around. Ask questions and listen … I am a 70 year old woman who has gotten a divorce after 45 years of marriage and had to move to a new state after living in the same state my entire life. It isn’t always easy but worth while
Tell them if they wish to stay involved in the sale of the house, they will have to show you appropriate respect and involve you in all decisions. Otherwise, they can be replaced.
It's time to do some straight talking with those who ignore you and teach them to understand very clearly that the decisions are YOURS and if they don't include you that you will hire someone else. Stand up for yourself!
I always feel as invisible coz no one stops me to say hi😁, I mean men. But I’ve learnt from this video 👊
Encouraging advice!
Like the 💡 idea of the 📴 and On switch, I 🤔💬 thought I was the only one that did 😂but I have been doing my off and On switch my whole 🧬 life. Lol 😆 Margaret love your top, have a good day on purpose🎉
Great words of wisdom! Thank you for making all these videos for us! Trying to be more curious these days😄😄
Margaret, you are lovely!!!! Thank you for what you give us ladies after 60!!!!
If you want to be seen, go to Italy!!!😊I'm from Germany, over 60 and don't have a problem with not been seen (although I'm slim and take good care of myself). But thast's just the way it is- I thought. But recently I went to Rome and you won't believe: It is a whole different kind of living and beeing there. People (men!) are smiling at you, they start conversations, they are charming! Sometimes I turned my head to find out, if there might be a younger woman standing behind me, which was meant, but no!! I was meant! That was a great experience. Even though it is just some kind of playing or whatever, it was so much more fun than in Germany 😃👍
Thanks so much for this. You look so light and bright today!
You are so welcome!
Thank you for all your uplifting and encouraging videos. So helpful❤
I love you Margaret. Thank you for all the inspiration ❤
Thank you Margaret. You look georgeous with your new hair cut! Always so inspiring! Thank you merci danke thank you!
You are so welcome
Never try and rely on another person, to make you happy. Rely on yourself. Always take care of yourself first, be independent, work hard, have your own bk acctm a d stable housing. U never know, what's around the corner
Hello Margaret....Oh what a joy to find your lovely U-tube....so positive and fun....
Glad you enjoy it!
Another pertinent subject! Posture focused and have improved over the last ten years. That is so important. People don’t always give me my senior discount at the grocery store and when I ask for it they often seem surprised. I’m ten years over the “senior” discount age. That said…attitude, daily effort, good diet, exercise for both face and body all help us thrive. And forget who’s looking and who’s not. When I was young it was uncomfortable to get attention. I felt objectified. I feel freer to be true to myself now. We carry an energy that can bring people to us or push them away from us, depending. And it’s not about being beautiful or young. It’s a lot about having confidence, smiling, and being sincere.
I was in a furniture shop today looking for sofas and I spoke to a sales person in her fifties, about all different intesting things , we had a great conversation. I was then approached by two male sales person at two different times asking if I needed any help . Also a young sales girl gave me a big smile, I said to her so this is where you hide , 😉she laughed and nodded, said she was admiring my coat, that was another start up long conversation.
I was in another shop busy with another sales person, she was looking up something for me on the computer, helping me, when a male friend noticed me, he’s a good 7rs younger than me , young thing, always had his eye on me, I think ! 😉Interupted us to say how was i doing and had i moved yet , then he said are you busy now , 😂I said yeah….looking for something. 🤣 You do get a laugh at times .
I’m sixty three on the 15th, If i have felt invisible or a bit lonely at time’s it’s certainly wasn’t that way today. 🤭Things only change when you get involved, out and about. 😁
Wilma, you sound like a fun person going in the right direction!
@@user-im3tk9ri7e❤️😁
I love this topic Margaret,😊im having a 😂 about talking to myself as l look in the 🪞 hilarious, really glad ive got such a sense of humour.Your wonderful lady.🌹
You can do it!
I love the color of your hair. ❤️
Margaret your hair looks great. All ready for Sprong.
Thank you!
I dress to encourage visibility. Love your channel. You always address our issues. Thank you
You are so welcome!
I’m 67 and I’ve decided to own my grey hair. It’s the first time I’ve seen it and it looks great. I feel invisible when I’m driving, people pull out in front of me; when I’m talking, people just butt in and change the conversation as if I’m not there.
Mac. It says more about them than you! No manners.
Gosh. 10k steps a day. You are amazing Margaret! How do you fit in so many steps? I stopped wearing make up a while back but can see what a difference it maybe makes to how one feels. Maybe I should try again. I often think, put it all on and take it all off again…..as I see so few people. 🤣. What time are your Patreon live chats please? Thanks so much for all you do.
Thank you Paula for your kind words. The Patreon life shows are on Monday and Wednesday at 1 PM Eastern time.
Thank you so much Margaret. 💕@@sixtyandme
Such good points you made about being “interesting”.
Your makeup colours are a little different and I especially like the darker lipstick and eye liner.
Thanks for sharing!!
I’ve noticed in restaurants that when the server checks to see if we need anything, they look at my husband. If he says no, they just walk away. It’s like I’m not even there. I lift weights and exercise most days to keep my posture straight. I agree walking with intention really helps.
Years ago men usually tasted the wine and did the ordering, some never got out of the habit. I always pipe up to ensure I get extra roast potatoes.
I found myself almost embarrassed once when in a Sephora/Ulta type store and couldn't even make eye contact with anyone. I wandered the store and no one said one "can I help you" . I guess they feel "hopeless" lol. I thought I looked pretty good for 65 but I'm 65. My daughter is mixed race and she said in those stores she is seen but much less than others, I feel they don't get taught how to deal with darker skin and matching and hair products so they get nervous and don't reach out. It's not just age but still wrong.
My daughter also mixed, feels the same. It's hard but it's not so much invisible but avoiding. I know if my daughter fell as I did at work, her fellow teachers would see her cuts and bruises. I sometimes feel I can just wear the same thing all week and it would be fine.
To be honest, I think they just are not trained to go out on the shop floor and ask people if they could be of any help. The Sephora and Ulta model is for you to go to the counter, expressing interest, ask questions and I am positive. You would’ve got some support. You are not hopeless! I think we were raised in the culture where retail shops were places where employees asked if you needed help - not the case today!
@@sixtyandme I agree but sometimes I am browsing at the counter and they keep doing what they are doing, but you are right, you get more if you stand there. Looking lost, no one helps anymore, sometimes in hardware store. I used to get asked all the time when younger but maybe the models were different.
Hi Margaret enjoy you thanks
I have felt like that since I was s mom with kids in tow. Purposely left for last, say at the car dealership. I often let people go ahead of me, but it is nice to offer that myself.
A lot of it is personality .
We want to be gracious. I have to ask God for wisdom. I was asked to pick up some youth for their job by a non - for - profit several times recently. I realized i was being allowed to wait too long while they said goodbye to friends. Last time I made some calls to those they respect/ fear more. The youth practically ran to my car , greated me, asked me how my day was 😂.
Learning to insist on basic respect, asking for help,etc.
Yes I can feel like that at times invisible. 🇮🇪💕x
I'm 62 and I feel completely invisible. I used to feel I stood out more. I'm not sure if it's my age or just me--I don't have the most common interests. But at the moment, I would definitely say there is no one but my husband who is aware of my talents or what I can/could/want to do. And. I've kind of worn out from the whole marketing scene. Life with most people is about branding and I'm weary of that mindset. I'm not interested in that anymore. So i'm not actually sure I care anymore.
That's a kind of freedom. My interests are not the norm either, glad we have husbands who love us for that reason.
Harpist! I take it that one of your interests is playing the harp. It is a beautiful sound. And it is also the emblem of my country, Ireland.
@@doloresaquines1529 yes, I play the Celtic harp. 😊
@@jennywren8937 thank you. I do agree and feel that. And then other times I feel unseen. I guess it’s just the process of life.
@@lovetoplayharp Happy St. Patrick's Day ☘️☘️
I’m enjoying being unseen. Being praised for my appearance felt hollow, because I had done nothing to be pretty. My mom was pretty and I looked like her. As an old lady if people value me I know it’s not for what I look like.
I am not following the connection between metabolism and visibility? Thank you so much.
As we get older it seems like friends are fewer not as much reaching out. I think we need to embrace our age im 64
How do you know you are a friend vs a client or colleague?
Just to say again that 60 is the new 40. Sixty is young nowadays. Anyhow, that said, I think one is as visible or invisible as one wishes to be. I have certainly never been invisible, heh heh, nor am I now. I greatly enjoy the company of younger people, and likewise the company and chat of those a lot older. Body language is very important, and Margaret makes a very good point about posture, walking tall and with "presence".
To help you with losing weight or at the very least stay steady. My suggestion is to drink 2-2..5 liters of water a day. Some people recommend half your body weight. Water helps you to feel more full and helps to rev up your metabolism a bit too. Hope this helps people with the extra added weight. Yes you will use the bathroom more but, you will flush out more toxins that way too.
Please be careful. Ask your doctor about water needs. You can cause serious magnesium loss, even brain swelling by overuse of water. It's not benign.
Better take some fibre half an hour before dinner. Recent studies have also shown that fibre assists in cognitive ability. Wonder if it will help me solve this soduku.😊
❤
Must say that I've never felt or been invisible. Weight, hair colours, wrinkles etc. have nothing to do with invisibity... it's all in one's mind only.
I agree Barbro! Yes
Products that are supposed to be for senior ladies use younger models. I feel better about aging wearing minimal makeup and have good posture. Margaret you look great in white
I totally agree!
A little rambling
TO THE WOMAN WHO IS SLOWLY FADING AWAY...
To the woman who has lost her spark.
To the woman whose get up and go, has well and truly gone.
This is for you.
This is to remind you, that you don’t have to be everything to everyone, every day.
You didn’t sign up for that.
Remember when you used to laugh? Sing?
Throw caution to the wind?
Remember when you used to forgive yourself more quickly for not always being perfect.
You can get that back again.
You really can.
And that doesn’t have to mean letting people down or walking away.
It just means being kinder to you, feeling brave enough to say no sometimes.
Being brave enough to stop sometimes.
And rest.
It starts the moment you realise that you’re not quite who you used to be.
Some of that is good, some of that is not.
There are parts of you that need to be brought back.
And if anyone in your life is not okay with that… they are not your people. Your people will be glad to see that spark starting to light up again.
So, if you have been slowly fading away my friend, this is the time to start saying yes to things that bring you joy and no to things that don’t.
It’s really pretty simple.
Donna Ashworth
I just had to send you this as it is so pertinent to video on becoming invisible as we age.
Much love Margaret xxx
Thank you so much Jay for sharing. I do love Donna Ashworth as well. It’s a beautiful poem. Thank you.
I kept hearing/reading how I would of course get fat as I age. As it happens, I eat healthily and weigh less with a dress size lower than in my 30's. So! it's not inevitable that we grow wider.
Kay. That is totally untrue! You are so right.
People Who overeat, do not eat healthy food and do Not exercise Will no doubt gain weight. I am the same size I have always been. A U.K. size 10.
Same here, same as I was 25 years ago. I tended to be too thin during my teens. My wardrobe contains classic styles which never date, but I think I must get out of the habit of trudging around in my gardening outfits.
@@jennywren8937 You made me smile Jenny! There are times when I spend the day in my very old gardening outfit (I am unrecognisable from the woman in the usual business clothes). The gardening outfit comrpises an ancient, frayed but warm jumper, a pair of unbecoming men's cargo trousers, and my old gardening boots.
@@doloresaquines1529 Hi Dolores, it's muddy here and to avoid getting the bottom of my trousers wet, I roll them around my legs and tuck them in my socks revealing the green cut down wellies. When the delivery man arrived I saw him taking a sideways glance so I said "D'ya like my boots?" Er...😁
@@jennywren8937 Yeh! I kind of think of It as my "Deliverance" look. Or Constant Sorrow. Lol
The cargo trousers being too Big are held Up with Cord, a nice one, off an old dressing gown. Heh heh.
There is classism, racism and ageism. I don't mind getting older. I'm embracing it. At 70 I'm still very active and working part-time at a local high school. Recently I walked by a group of boys and as I past someone yelled out, "Hey Grandma!" I felt a little intimidated and kept walking - but next time I'm going to turn around, let them know it's disrespectful and report them to our administration. We are more than VIABLE!
My response would be "You asking me for a date?"😄 Then say nicely as possible about respect. Chap in my post sorting office started giving me the 'deep eye look' when I was placing a complaint, rather than reporting him I replied "You can pack that up, I'm old enough to be your mother". Instant retort is the best solution I find, unless in a dangerous situation which would be pointless reporting anywhere because nothing is ever done about it.
"Hey, zygote!" might have been my retort. And he'd probably have to Google that.
There’s one thing that intrigues me Margaret. You are the last person I can imagine living happily in Switzerland, & even more so the Swiss-German part! (Dull, dull). I
know you can do your job anywhere but you’re such a sociable person who loves interacting with people so not speaking the language must be very frustrating for you. Geneva would probably suit you better. But your videos are great. Greetings from …. 🇨🇭 😮.
Very insightful comment. My family is here. That’s what matters.
How do you get in your 10K steps per day ?
Walking everywhere 🌺
I find walking my dog in the morning and walking at lunch helps me get there
Date a younger person?
Not invisible, but seen in a stereotyped way by a young female doctor. She's not my doctor any more. I'm not just yet another person in her 80s. I didn't appreciate her amazement at my activities and interests. I'm old, not dead.
I know how you feel Liz, that patronising greeting they give us oldies, as if they really cared. It started years ago, they regarded us as getting past it even when we were only middle aged, "Soon have you on hormone replacement" they said. " But I don't have any symptoms", I protested. "Get a broken hip then" they said. They don't even trust us to take our own blood pressure😮
I don't want a young doctor now that my last 2 retired. I know through my mom how so many don't see you. She had 2 wonderful doctor's but her PCP didn't even take her blood pressure sometimes or discuss blood work. It was just a payout, like at her age what does it matter. Take a pill. She got tired of it and was blessed with a wonderful PA later who saw her and talked to her.
@@jennywren8937 I was blessed with a great ob/gyn but so many women are given pills they don't need. I work at doctor office and love when an 80 year old says "no meds" Some are literally giving me a whole page. How can they not interact with each other? Is this really needed? I feel many should get a doctor to reevaluate their medications once a year.