Women CAN choose divorce because there is no risk for them. The courts and the govt make sure they are well taken care of financially. Men stay in marriages when they are miserable because it still beats losing everything you have worked your whole life to accumulate.
So the message here - women file for divorce because men failed them. Nothing to do with women looking to "trade up" in their hypergamous manner? Nothing to do with the cash and prizes bestowed upon them when they do? No fault divorces allows people to treat marriage like it's disposable. You criticize men for some sort of "good enough" attitude but seem to brush aside how women insist there to be perfection.
Interesting that your take away was a criticism of men. Kim was focusing on how women are often discontent and expect way too much from their husbands. She tells women to stop comparing and to accept imperfection and focus on what is inside that makes you avoid "good enough".
@@TheMarriagePlace If he's criticizing, you still have a chance. You need to reward that behavior and try harder instead of going on the defensive and pushing him away.
Women want perfection without putting any effort. Speaking for myself, most of the women I know personally just sit on there ass and watch TV. On top of that sex dwindled, whens the last time you made some food for your man , you know how you girls tell men its the thought that counts. Yes for both parties . Men we are to blame, we shower them with gifts and we give our world to them and this is how they repay us. Girls, you guys can't even be friends with each other. Also women have this thing where they point the finger at the men not realizing they have three pointing back with there own hand
You sir clearly did not listen to anything in this video. She had gone out her way to highlight the inability for some women in unhappy marriages to set aside there own discontent to recognize their husband own reality for the sake of understanding that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. (This comment contains holes that can easily be argued but I simply did not research enough it to the videos full implications to provide a sound and bullet proof rebuttal because I got sleepy)
It is so refreshing to hear a woman correctly speak about mens perspective. Most women are stuck in their own selfish, self serving point of view and whenever they are speaking about us its from the point of view of "how-to get them to do what u want/ how to manipulate them/ how control them." But this was very informative and pleasant to listen to. I learned alot about both male and female point of views from this and i wish more women were capable of viewing both sides like u do, especially when other women come to them for advice.
happy marriage = don't take your spouse for granted. women, men are not disposable and should not burdened with all your unrealistic expectations. reverse roles - how would you feel if you were valued mostly for your income and meant to feel she's doing you a favor staying with you......
@@reenaree5616 id love it because it’s free, it’s pleasurable for BOTH of us, it’s healthy for BOTH of us, and we BOTH get to bust a nut 🤗 But no, let me leverage and monetize it for compliance like the manipulating 🐀 that I am.
Hi dear, I’m Alex Johnson I just need someone I can really love and who’s ready to love me with her whole heart for who I am. I need a companion to live with and also plan the future together with. I hate lies and cheats, these are my core dislikes. I’m from Austin, Texas United States. I’m about 5.9ft tall. Are you married now or single?
7:00 - Men don't live in the world of "good enough." Men just don't put unrealistic expectations on another person in order to make themselves happy. Otherwise, I found this very, very refreshing... good to hear a woman understand a man's perspective so well. Thank you!
Women initiate divorce thinking there is a better life for them, only to realize they hit the wall and live a declining life. Men don’t want the divorce, but only to realize that older men are in their prime since they have advanced in their career and there are lots of desperate divorced lonely women out there who want them.
This is true to some extent that women complain in the marriage but in some cases i, men can be abusive , they may sleep around , getting drunk with their mates or are emotionally or physically abusive. Sometimes women have no choice but get divorced .
Louisa, you are absolutely correct. And when there is abuse, leaving is often the best choice. But I was speaking to the majority of divorces and those don’t include abuse. Also, the point of the video is for men to pay attention to the signs of their wives moving toward divorce so they can intervene before it is too late if they choose to do so. This is based on all the men I’ve worked with who said they had no idea their wives were so unhappy and if they had known they would have tried to make things better. I’m not blaming men or women for divorce. I’m just pointing out what the journey looks like early on in the demise of a marriage.
She’s not saying men are at fault here, for the most part she’s telling women they expect too much from men. I see posters below who seem to have only listened to the first few minutes.
I felt that this person started to ramble after about ten minutes. All I got was 'a wife wants something that they have NO cue about, but expect husband to give it to them.' I told my wife a few years ago she had a hole in her soul where her spritally was and she was always trying to fill it with shoes, cloths, and material stuff. We are still together but her closet gets fuller and she just doesn't ever seem happy. Told her she should start going to church with me, three years I'm still waiting.
I was looking at other videos that talked about divorce...the information was so wrong on so many fronts and levels. Then I listened to this one, and this woman is a real professional that explained the nature and history of man-women relationships before explaining in simple terms how to approach things. Way smarter to pay attention to Kim Bowen. Ty Kim. Unfortunately, after reading some responses...it is like some men on here (I am a man) failed to understand what Kim is saying. She is trying to help both genders.
Courts favor women in divorce court. Women think that the grass is greener on the other side as well. The wall is undefeated when women come up against it. 🥱
Am amused by her tapping and banging between thoughts (Ha!). She stated: Men live by "good enough", while women "live by comparison"??? "Women start to detach" and moving out of the relationship despite the fact that they have failed to adequately communicate on important issues and conflicts. Sounds to me that the defect is with the women in many of these situations. Just shows that women are guilty of making stupid decisions by throwing away a "really good relationship" in search for the perfect one. But, this is becoming routine in this current hedonistic, self-serving time period.
I'm a 48 year old man. 6'3". Told I'm attractive. Good career. Caring. I will NEVER EVER get married. This lady has just made the argument not to get married absolutely watertight. I do think that women can be enveloped by the fairytale element underlined by sisters and friends etc where they have already tied the knot. Another point worth mentioning. If you are not happy with yourself don't look for the key outside of yourself. It's you that largely have the answers! Lastly....never being content is a huge red flag. Don't get me wrong. Ambition is great. But thinking that "the grass is always greener on the other side" is a definite turnoff! In any case.... marriage is absolutely NOT for me. As I said this lady as argued brilliantly in favour of NOT marrying. Lol. Be happy. Be healthy. Be kind. Don't invite trouble in to your life. Why would you? Chau everyone!
Also, I do believe that cheating is always an act of selfishness; however, I'm tried of women neglecting to mention that they withhold sex from their husbands and expect them to not go elsewhere. Ladies, I believe a man's number 1 reason for marriage is access to sex. If you default on your value proposition, what's he supposed to do! Again, cheating is wrong, but so is withholding sex!
As someone who has been in a sexless relationship it is indeed a very painful experience. Having said that, I learned that we are not entitled to our partners bodies but we are not obligated to stay either. I have been cheated on so I refuse to cheat and because of love I will work on things (improve my appearance or whatever) but eventually I need to take care of myself as well so deuces! I'm out!
What if the relationship is draining, you don't feel loved, or love inside you is dried. There IS zero companionships. fun or compatibility IN THE MARRIAGE?? Your inlaws and husband never considered u part of the family or made any effort to include you. You have ended up with diabetes, hypertension, and hypothyroidism in 16 years of marriage??????
For me, I chose divorce after my 24 year marriage was obviously no longer connected. We were living like two roommates in the same house and there was nothing left. I wanted connection and love and commitment. He wanted to play and have fun on the ball field and the bar at night and I wanted to have a husband who cared as much about me as his good times (playing sports, canoe outings, camping trips, bars and drinking.-tihngs I was not interested in. I was interested in finishing the raising our two sons, building my business and regaining my health. .
I just found your channel asking why so many people get divorced. I was reading the blog of a friend's sister who is a counselor. Her patients manage to get out of depression and into a happy life but I notice there is always a divorce involved. I also see her advance the idea of an open relationship. As a Christian, I cannot accept either, so I wonder: isn't there a way to a long lasting happy marriage? You touched some good points. 👍
My mom: waiting 1h in winter for a bus with me being 5 y old, driving nearly 2h home, carring me form the bus station with all the bags. My usless fucking GF: can you hand me the tv remote *while i am in the other room* ?
Exactly. But she sweeps hupergamy under the rug, she brushes incentivized divorce through the courts, she brushes off everything and simplifies it in a way where it seems like it’s just miscommunication when in reality she is being an apologist for the aforementioned factors. That’s why going for marriage counseling is a sham and a waste of money. They will side with the woman and will use feeling and emotions as the foundation of fixing the relationship. In other words they won’t fix anything except gang up on you. As a speech language pathologist sometime I see kids misbehave but since we aren’t allowed to call the kid what he is “a spoiled brat” we have to pretend that positive reinforcement will fix all when all a parent needs to do is spank the hell out of that kid to straighten him up. But oh no we have to pretend.
Great video, thanks for sharing! Interesting note about divorce month. My wife and I recently started a highly unexpected process that seems to be moving towards divorcing in January. How and why is the timing such a phenomenon? I'm super-saddened by what we're going through, but I have hope to stand for my marriage. I believe in us, but I can see that she needs to return to herself in a significant way. Just wish I could've caught myself on the parts where I am responsible for, so she doesn't have to live in turmoil and for us to be in our very happy place as before. Either way, I look forward to better days.
Because their female friends who are all divorced tell them how it should be, how their husbands should act, and how they are unhappy and deserve better
@@shabinanaaz7581 she like to argue about if I didn't call her enough or other things. I express to her how I hate to argue. She got to a point of start saying I don't want to argue. What she was doing was detaching herself from me and I didn't even know it. They wait till you give in to them you know fall in love with them and telling them. Over time she manipulated me into telling her I love her which I did. She said she love me also as many ti.es as I said. I got a gut feeling she Neverending loved me.
Thanks for the video, so professional and full of insights. You do touch on men's perspective in a meaningful way, however, simple question: why is it always a woman who wants something from men and not the other way around?
It isn't always women who want something. Men want a lot of things but 70% of divorces are filed by women. Kim is addressing why those women file. They will often live unhappy in a marriage for years and her spouse not even realize just how discontent she is. Men certainly want and need things from a relationship. If you want Kim to answer questions directly, send her an email to askkim@themarriageplace.com She answers questions and posts videos of the answers.
One of the worst takes I have ever heard. If having peace or being conflict free is a man's top desire in marriage then why do men not initiate most divorces since a marriage just prior to divorce is anything but that? Men dont like conflict and problem...sure but when they come we try to deal with them. We are problem solving. Women want to communicate but talking solves little to nothing...ACTIONS solve problems. Dont know why women leave marriages but I do know no man in his right mind gets married for peace, if that was the case we would stay single.
How about asking your husband what he needs. The good enough thinking in men is a form of giving up. If you think your not going to get what you need there’s no point in asking. So you settle with what you have.
Why do you wait for her to ask you? Why don't you tell her? Don't you feel you are worthy of more than just "settling with what you have" ? When it comes to work or sports men definitely don't have this mindset so why apply it to your relationships (not just romantic but with children, friends and other family members)? For example I know some women get upset when men complain that they let themselves go and don't have enough sex, I say fuck that! Tell her!!! While we are not entitled to anyone's body you are not obliged to stay in a sexless marriage! When you leave her (not cheat) she can't complain because you communicated your needs. Seems simple to me.
@@Skies133 sometimes the reason why a wife is unhappy in a marriage is because the husband is unhappy. Men get stressed, sad and depressed just like women . But we soldier on because people are relying on us. Reaching out asking, what you can do to make your life better or just paying him a complement can go a long way in a man’s life.
@@NickRedstar That is the thing, men no longer have to carry the burden of providing for the family alone. Today women work and men don't have to be the sole bread winners. Things are changing... Again if you need words of affirmation (what you described) I'm sure communicating would solve that problem. In my case no matter how many times I say it is like talking to a goddam wall🙄🙄
Think about this, with the majority of men and women were raised by single mothers and they grow up and still aren't able to please a woman or find happiness with a man. They must see a horrible example when they're growing up.
They're rewarded for breaking the contract and many get married for status and talking points...not the actual duties that comes with being a wife. Hence why so many women now whine about what THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING!!! Can you imagine if Tic Toc was filled with Husbands whining about paying all of the bills and their endless responsibilities?
@@TheDalinkwent I’m guessing divorce parties are a celebration of some sort because someone feels relieved their pain or misery is over. I think that is short-sighted and sad. Not the same as a reward.
I really do not understand how any parent can decide to divorce and then loose at least half of your time with your children; especially if you are a male... Can anyone help me to understand; it seems to be very selfish?
According to this lady men and women complement each other in terms of their desires. Men want calm and quiet (the context of a good relationship) and women want intimacy and connection-- according to this woman. So how is it m and f don't get along?
I am the only one who hears her conflicted use of language; As in people "pulling away?". When you pull a door open, you pull it toward you. You PUSH things or people Away,nes pas?
Women have more options and also no restrictions is the real reason why women divorse most.......... Also there are many men outside who plans to distract woman either married or in love with someone else And woman gets trapped many times is the reason for most divorce........ Rather than who divorce more, do survey of womans at their 50`s (divorced and committed seperately) you will find more than 75% between divorced womans are sad/very sad with their life till 50`s
I don’t complain when I’m truly frustrated… just making my moves …. Then he’ll have his peace … yup we detach … yup so true …. Planning on our escape … Men want no conflict and sex…. Lol… why does he need a wife then 🤣 I don’t want a best friend… my girlfriend is my best friend - I just want to stop being an animal HOARDER … without my permission he’s taken on multiple animals … I’m tired of animals in house ..,, I want my own space… tired of cats EVERYWHERE! He won’t place these cats in homes …
What do you mean that's unfair!? You always and never bla bla.... me " just like the time when I asked you before anything happened, or when you were busy with laundry or something". They don't count! Me again. "So you just didn't contradict your self?" She no because you never listen to me and you are incapable as always.
the bucket system you fill my bucket i fill your bucket..look at all breakups he never did this he never did that or she never did this or she never did that ...selfishness is the root cause of all breakups and not having the right skills in finding what we need in a spouse parent were suppose toteach up but when mom and dad not taught then it is evil cycle...
I have raised everyone I’m Tired even with raising my childish parents I’m tired my husband is the good guy he never solves any problems but makes me look like the problem especially with grown kids
It sounds as if you are indirectly "selling" bernian psychology to women. Bernian psychology including such topics as ain't it aweful (murmuring and complaining) and blemish(judging and/or comparing.
Divorce isn't a choice. Marriage brings glory to God, adultery and fornication bring him and you disgrace. Marriage is until death, God will bring wrath to unrepentant sinners, please please repent to God and never commit adultery or Divorce. God will reward you if you do.
Not for grown daughters help me get my divorce help my husband go out with other women they said I wasn't good enough for him and now they don't even talk to me
Women CAN choose divorce because there is no risk for them. The courts and the govt make sure they are well taken care of financially. Men stay in marriages when they are miserable because it still beats losing everything you have worked your whole life to accumulate.
So the message here - women file for divorce because men failed them. Nothing to do with women looking to "trade up" in their hypergamous manner? Nothing to do with the cash and prizes bestowed upon them when they do? No fault divorces allows people to treat marriage like it's disposable. You criticize men for some sort of "good enough" attitude but seem to brush aside how women insist there to be perfection.
Interesting that your take away was a criticism of men. Kim was focusing on how women are often discontent and expect way too much from their husbands. She tells women to stop comparing and to accept imperfection and focus on what is inside that makes you avoid "good enough".
@@TheMarriagePlace just walk away
@@TheMarriagePlace If he's criticizing, you still have a chance. You need to reward that behavior and try harder instead of going on the defensive and pushing him away.
Women want perfection without putting any effort. Speaking for myself, most of the women I know personally just sit on there ass and watch TV. On top of that sex dwindled, whens the last time you made some food for your man , you know how you girls tell men its the thought that counts. Yes for both parties . Men we are to blame, we shower them with gifts and we give our world to them and this is how they repay us. Girls, you guys can't even be friends with each other. Also women have this thing where they point the finger at the men not realizing they have three pointing back with there own hand
You sir clearly did not listen to anything in this video. She had gone out her way to highlight the inability for some women in unhappy marriages to set aside there own discontent to recognize their husband own reality for the sake of understanding that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. (This comment contains holes that can easily be argued but I simply did not research enough it to the videos full implications to provide a sound and bullet proof rebuttal because I got sleepy)
It is so refreshing to hear a woman correctly speak about mens perspective. Most women are stuck in their own selfish, self serving point of view and whenever they are speaking about us its from the point of view of "how-to get them to do what u want/ how to manipulate them/ how control them." But this was very informative and pleasant to listen to. I learned alot about both male and female point of views from this and i wish more women were capable of viewing both sides like u do, especially when other women come to them for advice.
Bottom line, nothing is ever 'good enough,' at least not for long.
The word here is growth. If she is helping you to improve listen to her
Abolish no fault divorce! Men don't marry! Don't be a working slave for selfish women who don't give a damn about you!
happy marriage = don't take your spouse for granted.
women, men are not disposable and should not burdened with all your unrealistic expectations. reverse roles - how would you feel if you were valued mostly for your income and meant to feel she's doing you a favor staying with you......
How would you feel if your wife only wanted sex from you
@@reenaree5616 id love it because it’s free, it’s pleasurable for BOTH of us, it’s healthy for BOTH of us, and we BOTH get to bust a nut 🤗
But no, let me leverage and monetize it for compliance like the manipulating 🐀 that I am.
The key to happiness is low expectations
Hi dear,
I’m Alex Johnson
I just need someone I can really love and who’s ready to love me with her whole heart for who I am.
I need a companion to live with and also plan the future together with.
I hate lies and cheats, these are my core dislikes.
I’m from Austin, Texas United States.
I’m about 5.9ft tall.
Are you married now or single?
7:00 - Men don't live in the world of "good enough." Men just don't put unrealistic expectations on another person in order to make themselves happy.
Otherwise, I found this very, very refreshing... good to hear a woman understand a man's perspective so well. Thank you!
Women initiate divorce thinking there is a better life for them, only to realize they hit the wall and live a declining life. Men don’t want the divorce, but only to realize that older men are in their prime since they have advanced in their career and there are lots of desperate divorced lonely women out there who want them.
Well said Don.
Lol dream on. Men age so badly, most of us women wouldn’t want to touch you old bags of balding flesh
yes but they're crazier than the woman that divorced them.
@@marial3231 no need to dream, the stats are real. Most women are broke and lonely after a divorce. Plus they loose their looks faster
This is true to some extent that women complain in the marriage but in some cases i, men can be abusive , they may sleep around , getting drunk with their mates or are emotionally or physically abusive. Sometimes women have no choice but get divorced .
Louisa, you are absolutely correct. And when there is abuse, leaving is often the best choice. But I was speaking to the majority of divorces and those don’t include abuse. Also, the point of the video is for men to pay attention to the signs of their wives moving toward divorce so they can intervene before it is too late if they choose to do so. This is based on all the men I’ve worked with who said they had no idea their wives were so unhappy and if they had known they would have tried to make things better. I’m not blaming men or women for divorce. I’m just pointing out what the journey looks like early on in the demise of a marriage.
She’s not saying men are at fault here, for the most part she’s telling women they expect too much from men. I see posters below who seem to have only listened to the first few minutes.
I felt that this person started to ramble after about ten minutes. All I got was 'a wife wants something that they have NO cue about, but expect husband to give it to them.' I told my wife a few years ago she had a hole in her soul where her spritally was and she was always trying to fill it with shoes, cloths, and material stuff. We are still together but her closet gets fuller and she just doesn't ever seem happy. Told her she should start going to church with me, three years I'm still waiting.
Drop her
dump her before she dumps you
Well described what I’m going through in past decades. Thank you 🙏🏻
How to be happy.. Try being happy with what you have
I was looking at other videos that talked about divorce...the information was so wrong on so many fronts and levels. Then I listened to this one, and this woman is a real professional that explained the nature and history of man-women relationships before explaining in simple terms how to approach things. Way smarter to pay attention to Kim Bowen. Ty Kim. Unfortunately, after reading some responses...it is like some men on here (I am a man) failed to understand what Kim is saying. She is trying to help both genders.
Courts favor women in divorce court. Women think that the grass is greener on the other side as well. The wall is undefeated when women come up against it. 🥱
Am amused by her tapping and banging between thoughts (Ha!). She stated: Men live by "good enough", while women "live by comparison"??? "Women start to detach" and moving out of the relationship despite the fact that they have failed to adequately communicate on important issues and conflicts. Sounds to me that the defect is with the women in many of these situations. Just shows that women are guilty of making stupid decisions by throwing away a "really good relationship" in search for the perfect one. But, this is becoming routine in this current hedonistic, self-serving time period.
Not all the time. If a husband believes that all women are stupid he will never value his wife's input or opinion.
All great stuff and should be REQUIRED for women to watch.
Thanks for watching.
I'm a 48 year old man. 6'3". Told I'm attractive. Good career. Caring. I will NEVER EVER get married. This lady has just made the argument not to get married absolutely watertight.
I do think that women can be enveloped by the fairytale element underlined by sisters and friends etc where they have already tied the knot. Another point worth mentioning. If you are not happy with yourself don't look for the key outside of yourself. It's you that largely have the answers!
Lastly....never being content is a huge red flag. Don't get me wrong. Ambition is great. But thinking that "the grass is always greener on the other side" is a definite turnoff!
In any case.... marriage is absolutely NOT for me. As I said this lady as argued brilliantly in favour of NOT marrying. Lol.
Be happy. Be healthy. Be kind. Don't invite trouble in to your life. Why would you? Chau everyone!
Most of the time anything you want is nothing you need.
Also, I do believe that cheating is always an act of selfishness; however, I'm tried of women neglecting to mention that they withhold sex from their husbands and expect them to not go elsewhere. Ladies, I believe a man's number 1 reason for marriage is access to sex. If you default on your value proposition, what's he supposed to do! Again, cheating is wrong, but so is withholding sex!
Exactly. Men only value women for sex. Period.
As someone who has been in a sexless relationship it is indeed a very painful experience. Having said that, I learned that we are not entitled to our partners bodies but we are not obligated to stay either. I have been cheated on so I refuse to cheat and because of love I will work on things (improve my appearance or whatever) but eventually I need to take care of myself as well so deuces! I'm out!
What if the relationship is draining, you don't feel loved, or love inside you is dried. There IS zero companionships. fun or compatibility IN THE MARRIAGE?? Your inlaws and husband never considered u part of the family or made any effort to include you. You have ended up with diabetes, hypertension, and hypothyroidism in 16 years of marriage??????
Divorce him, he is no good. Run, you are happier with yourself
hi can you do a video on female midlife crisis and how a spouse can cope with it please.
money 💰...duh
Gratitude helps... maybe have more gratitude, appreciation...
It certainly does!
For me, I chose divorce after my 24 year marriage was obviously no longer connected. We were living like two roommates in the same house and there was nothing left. I wanted connection and love and commitment. He wanted to play and have fun on the ball field and the bar at night and I wanted to have a husband who cared as much about me as his good times (playing sports, canoe outings, camping trips, bars and drinking.-tihngs I was not interested in. I was interested in finishing the raising our two sons, building my business and regaining my health. .
I just found your channel asking why so many people get divorced. I was reading the blog of a friend's sister who is a counselor. Her patients manage to get out of depression and into a happy life but I notice there is always a divorce involved. I also see her advance the idea of an open relationship. As a Christian, I cannot accept either, so I wonder: isn't there a way to a long lasting happy marriage? You touched some good points. 👍
Hello hw r u today
@@Hyderabadidunyakasafar Excellent 😊 You?
@@MedaHalmaciu I'm super baby,
Your form?
@@MedaHalmaciu hello?
Why not?
Thanks for sharing this is valuable information! I needed this right now 🤗
My mom: waiting 1h in winter for a bus with me being 5 y old, driving nearly 2h home, carring me form the bus station with all the bags.
My usless fucking GF: can you hand me the tv remote *while i am in the other room* ?
What is your point? Where was your father in that whole 3hr winter bus ride?
One word: Money.
"Family Courts" will usually side with the woman. DNA says you're not the daddy? Still have to pay child support and alimony.
How long do u stay with a man who is married to the bar
Hey you married?
What do women bring to the marriage? What do they do to make the home happy? Happy wife, happy life is bullshit.
6:50...and that is what you call hypergamy
Exactly. But she sweeps hupergamy under the rug, she brushes incentivized divorce through the courts, she brushes off everything and simplifies it in a way where it seems like it’s just miscommunication when in reality she is being an apologist for the aforementioned factors. That’s why going for marriage counseling is a sham and a waste of money. They will side with the woman and will use feeling and emotions as the foundation of fixing the relationship. In other words they won’t fix anything except gang up on you. As a speech language pathologist sometime I see kids misbehave but since we aren’t allowed to call the kid what he is “a spoiled brat” we have to pretend that positive reinforcement will fix all when all a parent needs to do is spank the hell out of that kid to straighten him up. But oh no we have to pretend.
Great video, thanks for sharing! Interesting note about divorce month. My wife and I recently started a highly unexpected process that seems to be moving towards divorcing in January. How and why is the timing such a phenomenon? I'm super-saddened by what we're going through, but I have hope to stand for my marriage. I believe in us, but I can see that she needs to return to herself in a significant way. Just wish I could've caught myself on the parts where I am responsible for, so she doesn't have to live in turmoil and for us to be in our very happy place as before. Either way, I look forward to better days.
Because their female friends who are all divorced tell them how it should be, how their husbands should act, and how they are unhappy and deserve better
I actually do think this plays a part. Good point!
yep, it's said that 75% chance of them can affect/influence their friend's marriage if one of their friends got divorced.
Women don't stop complaining period.
No offence but money is usually the go to answer 80% of the time in the west.
She brushes that under the rug because she wants to turn the answer into a feelings conversation and be an apologist for the truth.
I saw the sign she mentioned. I saw it coming but I didn't understand it. Wow.
Can you explain a little bit, about the signs you ignored
@@shabinanaaz7581 she like to argue about if I didn't call her enough or other things. I express to her how I hate to argue. She got to a point of start saying I don't want to argue. What she was doing was detaching herself from me and I didn't even know it. They wait till you give in to them you know fall in love with them and telling them. Over time she manipulated me into telling her I love her which I did. She said she love me also as many ti.es as I said. I got a gut feeling she Neverending loved me.
Good video. Great actionable communication techniques for relationships and any other areana of life.
Thanks for the video, so professional and full of insights. You do touch on men's perspective in a meaningful way, however, simple question: why is it always a woman who wants something from men and not the other way around?
It isn't always women who want something. Men want a lot of things but 70% of divorces are filed by women. Kim is addressing why those women file. They will often live unhappy in a marriage for years and her spouse not even realize just how discontent she is. Men certainly want and need things from a relationship. If you want Kim to answer questions directly, send her an email to askkim@themarriageplace.com She answers questions and posts videos of the answers.
One of the worst takes I have ever heard. If having peace or being conflict free is a man's top desire in marriage then why do men not initiate most divorces since a marriage just prior to divorce is anything but that?
Men dont like conflict and problem...sure but when they come we try to deal with them. We are problem solving. Women want to communicate but talking solves little to nothing...ACTIONS solve problems.
Dont know why women leave marriages but I do know no man in his right mind gets married for peace, if that was the case we would stay single.
How about asking your husband what he needs. The good enough thinking in men is a form of giving up. If you think your not going to get what you need there’s no point in asking. So you settle with what you have.
Good enough = being grateful, not giving up.
Why do you wait for her to ask you? Why don't you tell her? Don't you feel you are worthy of more than just "settling with what you have" ?
When it comes to work or sports men definitely don't have this mindset so why apply it to your relationships (not just romantic but with children, friends and other family members)?
For example I know some women get upset when men complain that they let themselves go and don't have enough sex, I say fuck that! Tell her!!! While we are not entitled to anyone's body you are not obliged to stay in a sexless marriage! When you leave her (not cheat) she can't complain because you communicated your needs. Seems simple to me.
@@Skies133 sometimes the reason why a wife is unhappy in a marriage is because the husband is unhappy. Men get stressed, sad and depressed just like women . But we soldier on because people are relying on us. Reaching out asking, what you can do to make your life better or just paying him a complement can go a long way in a man’s life.
@@NickRedstar That is the thing, men no longer have to carry the burden of providing for the family alone. Today women work and men don't have to be the sole bread winners. Things are changing... Again if you need words of affirmation (what you described) I'm sure communicating would solve that problem. In my case no matter how many times I say it is like talking to a goddam wall🙄🙄
@@Skies133 I was saying be nice to each other. I’m sorry that you feel that way
The number one thing a man wants in a marriage is loyalty/trustworthiness, not sex or lack of conflict/drama.
Think about this, with the majority of men and women were raised by single mothers and they grow up and still aren't able to please a woman or find happiness with a man. They must see a horrible example when they're growing up.
That's why I think abortion is better than single parents. Either 2 parents or nothing.
@@Skies133 yeah, murder is always the answer. I know of one more that should have happened.
@@ChrisSmith-nr4sy LMAO it's not murder but let's just agree to disagree cus I'm not interested in hearing nonsense.
@@Skies133 it is murder, a life ends by being ripped apart a vacuumed out. I'm sure you remember.
MGTOW!
They're rewarded for breaking the contract and many get married for status and talking points...not the actual duties that comes with being a wife.
Hence why so many women now whine about what THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING!!!
Can you imagine if Tic Toc was filled with Husbands whining about paying all of the bills and their endless responsibilities?
It is so hard when one person decides they don’t want to be married anymore. It is rare for divorce to be a reward. It’s devastating loss
@@TheMarriagePlace Then explain the rise of..."Divorce parties"?
@@TheDalinkwent I’m guessing divorce parties are a celebration of some sort because someone feels relieved their pain or misery is over. I think that is short-sighted and sad. Not the same as a reward.
Very helpful. Thank you.
Great video! Thank you
Prayers in a higher power works miracles in marriages my opinion
I really do not understand how any parent can decide to divorce and then loose at least half of your time with your children; especially if you are a male... Can anyone help me to understand; it seems to be very selfish?
Am.I.rite
Fantastic!
According to this lady men and women complement each other in terms of their desires.
Men want calm and quiet (the context of a good relationship) and women want intimacy and connection-- according to this woman.
So how is it m and f don't get along?
Intimacy and connection often sounds like nagging. Calm and quiet often looks like apathy. This is the root for many spiraling conflicts.
Intimacy and connection is code word for attention. They want attention, to be pedestlized, and an insatiable need for MORE.
, If your ex-wife had concerns, it is too immature to communicate in an adult manner. And all she does is complain. You are not the problem
I am the only one who hears her conflicted use of language; As in people "pulling away?".
When you pull a door open, you pull it toward you. You PUSH things or people Away,nes pas?
Women have more options and also no restrictions is the real reason why women divorse most.......... Also there are many men outside who plans to distract woman either married or in love with someone else And woman gets trapped many times is the reason for most divorce........ Rather than who divorce more, do survey of womans at their 50`s (divorced and committed seperately) you will find more than 75% between divorced womans are sad/very sad with their life till 50`s
I don’t complain when I’m truly frustrated… just making my moves …. Then he’ll have his peace … yup we detach … yup so true …. Planning on our escape …
Men want no conflict and sex…. Lol… why does he need a wife then 🤣
I don’t want a best friend… my girlfriend is my best friend - I just want to stop being an animal HOARDER … without my permission he’s taken on multiple animals … I’m tired of animals in house ..,, I want my own space… tired of cats EVERYWHERE!
He won’t place these cats in homes …
AMAZING, all we hear is women, women,women and what women want, feel etc.........wtf.
What about what men needs?
Society doesn’t care since men have the burden of performance
@@GangstalkingRealityIt ain’t worth it , screw dating , women require so much and offer so little
Right on! 👍🌹🙏
As a Man I don't want to get married again.
What do you mean that's unfair!? You always and never bla bla.... me " just like the time when I asked you before anything happened, or when you were busy with laundry or something". They don't count! Me again. "So you just didn't contradict your self?" She no because you never listen to me and you are incapable as always.
the bucket system you fill my bucket i fill your bucket..look at all breakups he never did this he never did that or she never did this or she never did that ...selfishness is the root cause of all breakups and not having the right skills in finding what we need in a spouse parent were suppose toteach up but when mom and dad not taught then it is evil cycle...
What advice can a difunctional parent give to their kids
Men want RESPECT... Sex is up there too. Being disrespected and emasculated. Not for me.
It's like this, men please God,women please men n children please their parents.
It’s because women work and cannot form close friends any more
I have raised everyone I’m
Tired even with raising my childish parents I’m tired my husband is the good guy he never solves any problems but makes me look like the problem especially with grown kids
What about emotional abuse?
Not sure exactly what is your question. No one should allow themselves to be abused or to abuse.
To put men through Hell??
It sounds as if you are indirectly "selling" bernian psychology to women. Bernian psychology including such topics as ain't it aweful (murmuring and complaining) and blemish(judging and/or comparing.
I agree and I am a man
Men, NEVER get married!!
Women go cold and it financially benefits them
To complicated and not worth the effort.... I'm out thanks.
Bcuz woman's needs satisfaction
Money
Women also choose divorce because of domestic abuse.
As if they don’t domestically abuse men with the nagging and screaming 😂
Kids
Divorce isn't a choice. Marriage brings glory to God, adultery and fornication bring him and you disgrace. Marriage is until death, God will bring wrath to unrepentant sinners, please please repent to God and never commit adultery or Divorce. God will reward you if you do.
You hit in on the head I can’t communicate
Hello,
most women are not happy..
Let go of your grown kids!!!
Michelle Blackmon I
Not for grown daughters help me get my divorce help my husband go out with other women they said I wasn't good enough for him and now they don't even talk to me