I’ve had to classify my “Low maintenance” friendships as acquaintances. My true friendships are deep, intimate, where I can be vulnerable and are extremely important. Truly rooted in love.
I just turned 34 and I really only have one friend that I’ve know for 20 years. Everyone else is an acquaintance. Finding and meeting friends as an adult is a journey. I’ve been praying for a group of like minded friends. 🙏🏾
32, no friends. Don't really have an issue meeting people. People just don't seem to want to take time to make a new friend. I've tried everything "they" say in order to make friends. I too have prayed for God to intervene and send me people who are for me. It's been years.
I think low maintenance friendships are helpful for people who feel overwhelmed with tasks and expectations in their life already. They are saying that they don’t feel they can show up every day or how someone else will require them too. It’s actually pretty mature I think.
Absolutely! I was waiting for that perspective to oppose the fear of vulnerability. In this season of my life, I don't have the capacity to "nurse" friendships. If last season, we were brunching every weekend and this season, I need to pivot with other responsibilities or to simply "refill my own cup", it should not make one question the validity of our relationship....and this is why I advocate low-maintenance friendships.
I agree. Some friendships are so overwhelming . There’s time I need like a month to recharge doesn’t mean I don’t care. I feel like sometimes even when I let some friends no I need time alone they still take offense.
This is usually my definition of low maintenance friendships. Friendships where is not a requirement to speak everyday, and if we go a week without talking there's no love lost or hurt feelings. But we are vulnerable with one another, we "see" each other flaws and all, and still support and show up for each other. We are out here just trying to live life. However, if I'm understanding correctly, Danielle defined low maintenance as lack of connection, and the friendship wouldn't survive a disagreement or different views/opinions.
F- Fear, detachment/lean in I- Identity, WHO are you L- Love, what do you define it as E- Expectation, what is the need S- Selfishness, what is your capacity
I felt so understood watching this. I am someone that doesn’t like conflict. The potential response gives me anxiety because I grew up being misunderstood and not heard from my own family. Growing up in a Jamaican household voicing your opinion is considered disrespect. When you’re emotional it’s overlooked and life just goes on(you have to be tough). It was never a safe place for me to be vulnerable so I grew up being the strong friend on the outside while hurting on the inside as I was always downplaying my feelings. If you happen to hurt my feelings I replay the scenario in my mind and get distant and not address it until it’s too late. I also fear that if I express myself it won’t end well because I’m so used to going through that with family and it’s nerve wracking especially when you mean well. I definitely see this as something to work on so I can form healthier relationships. This EP was very informative and I will be sure to apply it❣️
This was so relatable especially the part about growing up in a Jamaican household. But I have hope that things can get better especially as we have access to these types of conversations that we can learn from. I wish you all the best in your journey to healthier relationships.
47:15 As someone who's experienced a few friendship breakups that were just so heart-wrenching I totally resonated with Meg when she mentioned one of the reasons people opt for low maintenence friendships. I am a deeper lover so the fear to open myself up the same way I did in my old friendship is a real thing especially when you were rejected and made to feel like something is wrong with you. It's just another kind of risk and at times you even study people and the moment they exhibit some of the things you dealt with in the past, you immediately detach in your mind so it's a challenge.
I totally agree with what Danielle says about low maintenance friendships. In my experience, everyone who I’ve seen champion “low maintenance friendships” are high maintenance on the receiving end but don’t have the capacity to give. Which takes honesty and self awareness to recognize. Great episode!
This spoke to my spirit so much. I have had the same friends for around 25 years and we have had some great times together but the last 4-5 years I have found that I am getting distressed/anxious whenever I am in their company or when we make plans to meet up. When I started doing the work in myself became less of a people pleaser and started building a relationship with God I started to realise how unhealthy alot of my friendships are and how I have allowed certain things to happen. It has been years of being spoken over, not being celebrated, having to censor myself constantly, walking on egg shells, receiving very backhanded compliments , me getting gifts for birthdays and going the whole 9 yards and not even receiving a card... The list goes on. It's a very difficult time of transition and I pray The Lord seriously helps me to navigate this season cause I have no idea how to but I do know there is a very uncomfortable shift.
This is an amazing episode! I've been struggling with making new friends and I never thought that Christ was missing! Whew, I need a Christ-centered friendship to feel safe again!
Wow, the level of wisdom, maturity, compassion, and understanding I received from this as a forty-five-year-old woman is incredible. As someone who lost her best friend of twenty-something years about a year ago, grieving that friend has been so difficult, but God is faithful. I cannot wait to read this guest’s ( Danielle) book. All of the information is beyond informative.
I absolutely love that platonic friends are getting together to help each other. I know friends who help each other with kids, buying property, etc..I've only seen it done in island/african cultures. I think it would be so amazing to see this in our (american) culture more.
This is so eye opening for me! Navigating friendships over the past 5 years has been tough. However I haven’t lost hope and I’m gaining more discernment in understanding that I too play a role in the quality of my friendships.
Yoooooo that HR moment was hitting the nail on the head. OMG!!! I have been saying that the past 2 years I was getting talked to like HR, even mentioned it to the girl, like after knowing you nearly 20 years 🤷🏾♀️ what’s good? 😮
Crazy enough I’ve had friendship issues this week. I’m 33 and I’ve had friendship issues since I was a child. This episode helped so much. So many different perspectives.
me and my bestie almost ended our friendship over something so small and I'm glad u guys are doing this ivee been waiting for a video from u in friendships !!! 😩
Women friendships varies from person to person. Some of us have inner court friends and outer court friends, we know the difference and know where to place each one. A lot of us love peaceful and mature friendships. Some conflict comes most often from silent expectations and sometimes I’ve noticed those that have conflicts a lot, there’s unmet affirmations, rejection the feeling abandonment from childhood that keeps them in on going conflicts in their friendships. Also a lot of people haven’t taught to effectively communicate. 🙏🏾 I LOVE what Meaghan said about bringing up things to your friend it “hold more weight on how you respond.” Thats HUGE!
So amazed at how on point some of Danielle's specifics were for me when it came to a recent friendship that I had to end. I have been so pained by it because it was an old friendship that I thought would never change. She stopped seeing me for who I am and I was constantly scared I was going to make her mad. These were things God had showed me, and Danielle confirmed how unhealthy they are for anyone. I don't know when it will stop hurting so much, but I am so grateful to have women like you both to look after all of us and share your wisdom!
Praying for God centered friendships I’m in season of loneliness and isolation really would like to have Godly community. Right now I literally have my husband and my mom as my friends. Don’t understand why I’m so alone.
@07ikkin hey now, God is your friend, friend 😊 (by the way I'm in the same boat, and this mindset will get you nowhere but into a season of depression when we should be rejoicing that the Lord loves us so much, that He'd much rather have us in isolation for now, and prepare us for the Goldy friendships/community that He's always destined for us, than to be messing with people who would delay the season of a christ like community and even cause a whole new, unnecessary season of greive, hurt and betrayal.) I know you're probably feeling so incredibly lonely, but you are not alone ❤ Sending hugs and kisses😊
@@_snakho9717 Indeed it is a preparation phase. I would rather you lean in to the season and allow God teach and equip you for where He is taking you. You may not be able to handle the type of friendship you are praying to God for. So go through the growth process. God has the capacity to fill the void you are feeling in your season of isolation, so lean more on Him and find completeness in Him FIRST. Then these other things will be added... Stay well ♥
I really appreciate this conversation… I know this episode focused on platonic relationships but it brought awareness to the fact that no relationship will lack conflict (minor of major).I recently had a situation that I beat myself off so bad on because I wasn’t smart when it came to conflict & kept making myself feel if I wasn’t perfect , then I was at fault and there was no opportunity for it to grow… when in reality perfection is IMPOSSIBLE as humans but like Meg said: “the goal is to be Christ-like”. I’ve recognized my faults, apologized and have accepted whatever outcome that comes … but instead of beating myself up , I recognized I have to work on those areas && heal if not for that person but for myself and those in and who will come in my life . Conflict can be used to elevate not only yourself but that relationship
This was a very eye-opening segment! I also thank God for showing me my growth as I watched this video without being triggered by past trauma, and taking the initiative to reflect on how I can do things differently and in a more healthy/productive manner moving forward. Glory to God! ❤ Thank You, Jesus. ✨💙🙏🏽
I absolutely LOVE this episode. I have experienced a number of people who wanted “low maintenance” relationships and I did not know that was a thing. It had me thinking I was needy or wanted too much. Glad to see otherwise.
This is an amazing conversation. I’m at a season in life where God is bringing things to the forefront about “friends” in my life. He’s not showing me, for me to cut them off, but as a safety for myself. I’m learning to deal with them differently. I seek to move differently and deal with individuals where they are. God is directing me as to how much to share. Friendship are the same as a romantic relationship, you must be open to adjusting accordingly for a healthy relationship.
Really needed this episode I recently let go of a friendship and I feel resolute in my decision but I gained so much insight on my own faults and how to maintain and grow my other friendships
This was an excellent discussion with many valuable insights to take away. Thanks for bringing Danielle on. She is articulate, beautiful, and intelligent. ❤️
Love this so much! Making friends and maintaining friendships as adults is interesting and new territory as we balance all the other things in life! This conversation was so impactful!
This has been an eye opening to me surprisingly, at the beginning I was this for ladies not me but my spirit kept telling me to watch, made my notes & already shared this to my family group, as well to all my female friends. Megan & Danielle you're truly a blessing, May the Almighty God bless you always, watching in from Dubai 🇦🇪❤
Megan closing statement came from home base and needed to be said ❤ thank you for sharing your story without directly sharing and being respectful and holding yourself accountable to God.
Love how they touch on friendships as far as being with a man/women and being in a friendship. Lot of info that we need online. People should wortk on that.
I hope that Megan and bsimone can reconcile their differences. Don’t have to be friends but can forgive each other and at least be on talking terms. Say their piece and be at peace with each other. Friendship break ups are hard. And I can tell they still love each other. May never be the same but can be better. God bless
They will eventually, I believe real friendships go through a hard break up sometimes especially when you’re going through intense growth that requires you to let go of everything familiar so you can dive deep into yourself. It causes friction, decades later you’ll understand that it was necessary growth and the reason it happened was to push each of you forward in a way you couldn’t do with each other.😅
This was sooooooo on time for me! Currently dealing with some challenges with a good friend of mine and have been unsure about the friendship itself and if I need to be doing things better. This episode answered so many questions I have right now about my situation and I’m so glad I came across this video! Will definitely be getting a copy of the book! I’m praying that others who are facing a rough patch with their friends receive clarity and direction from God, and also peace! 😊🙏🏾❤️
That’s the answer Megan!! First viewing that person as God’s image barrier, whether they are resembling it or not! He didn’t just say Christians as image barriers, He created every man and woman to bear His image! This is where the GRACE slips in….
This episode was also triggering for me but well needed but also feel like if you try your hardest to mend a friendship by the other person is not receptive to it or don’t try to work at it. The friendship will not work. It takes two people to make it work. Thanks Meg ❤
I love this episode! I’m among the category who desire ‘easy’ and ‘low-maintenance friendships’. I don’t believe it goes without putting in the work to develop and maintain a healthy and functional relationship. I think desire for ease comes from previous relationships where both parties were not willing to do the work and that’s when it feels taxing, long and lonely. That’s when I personally have wondered why a particular friendship is hard and knowing at the back of my mind that it should be easier.
this was well needed I've had a very recent devastating friendship break up and I'm praying God heals my heart and mind I've seen all the warning signs but still stuck around. I never cared as much for friends until I seen this video. I love you Meg keep sharing the wisdom and gospel !
This was a wholesome conversation on friendships. Just like any other relationship, friendships take work, intentionality and reciprocity. Let's heal so that we can show up well for each other and enjoy our relationships. 💕
The part about needing to have a friendship with another Christian so they will fully understand who you are and why you make the decisions you do is what I needed to hear. All the ppl who try to be my friend or vice versa it just always feels off or not good. So needless to say I’m still waiting on some good Christian friends to come into my life. They also will understand I have 4 kids and pregnant with #5 and that try to raise them with Christian morals and that I’m also pretty busy 😅
I genuinely feel the reason friendships are breaking up is because the Lord is drawing a line in the sand. He’s specially handcrafting relationships to build his kingdom. Wheat and tare. Not meaning an opposite party is bad or ungodly. But that we aren’t growing in the same direction so we must count it all joy tbh! 🩵
The quality of friendships play a big role. At this point in my journey, I realize I need healthy, mutually beneficial friendships. Pouring into each other! Christ has to be the center of platonic relationships and romantic. For me! What's the book that Jackie recommended?
Thank you so much for this!!! I needed this! A close friendship I had ended years ago and I still find myself missing it. I know it was the best thing for me, but I have not found another friend like her since then. I admit, I miss that aspect of life very much!
This is a powerful episode. I’ve read some of the comments and I am amazed of how many of us have similar experiences, thoughts, and feelings around female friendships This is a much needed conversation. I’m 44 and on a personal journey to learn how to make new quality friends as well to become a quality friend As I learn about friendships I’ve started to do a self assessment. Am I the type of friend that I desire in my life. Definitely room for growth and further development in this area Thanks for this episode. I also feel seen and understood. I’ll be grabbing a copy of the book
This was so enriching. I learned a lot, and it is hard to make female friends. I laughed when she said the friend that always plays the victim. Also, I would say fear is what prevents me from making friends. I feel they will leave.
This episode made me subscribe! I will definitely share it. I think that this conversation benefits both men and women. This is the first episode that I have watched, but I will definitely be watching some of the past episodes 🙏🏾❤️
I love this chat!!!! I told my best friend who him and i are spiritually growing with Jesus and got into a deeper dive around the same time. And we tell each other we love each other all the time that we care for each other. We talk to each other about things that are going on and we had a moment where we expressed that we wanted to be the Jonathan to our David and it was so freeing to know that I have such a intimate non romantic bond
I'm loving this podcast 🎉❤ Hearing all this research and theories about friendships-- makes me think back to many of my own observations-- long story short though, I'm 49 minutes into the pod and my opinion on the topic at the moment regarding deep friendships or not so deep, in my personal opinion based off of my life, my testimony before and after me coming to God, God pulling me up out the grave I was putting myself in, ALL MY DEEP FRIENDSHIPS, after coming to our creator, are rooted in Christ. Period. My friendships now, aren't any ones i chose for myself but rather GOD cultivated my friendships and the Christ centered community in apart of. It's been amazing, keeps me in Awe and in constant Thanksgiving because I'm constantly reminded, it could've been another way. I wouldn't be here today too teach and serve and love and model all I do for God's glory, to show his love, unconditionally, if it wasn't for our heavenly Father. Our beginning and the end, the creator of ALL THINGS! All the glory belongs to God🙌🏻❤🥰✨️ Thank you Megan for all you do girl, I been following you since before In Totality and I see the work, God's work all over you and all you're apart of and I'm grateful to God for using you to help out a woman of God like myself who only truly been intimate with God the last 5 years-- and the joy!!!! The joy of the Lord is my strength
I think what is missing is.. if God told you to leave, I'm out. Period. And sometimes, he does tell us to leave a friendship. They have served their purpose for that season. They are not meant to go with you into your next season. So I think to try to figure out how to stay, is a carnal response if God is saying to do something different.
This was a great conversation and so informative, however there are times when you have to move forward without a conversation espcially when you've had two or three conversations and you dont feel seen or understood and realize its emotionally and mentally exhausting to keep talking about the same things over and over and people just dont get it. Sometimes all you really have with someone is history and what i realized as the more i healed the little girl and people pleaser in me..i released a lot of people because i was the best thing since sliced bread when i let things slide but when i started to speak up i became the problem and yes i take accountability for the part i played and a lack of self love. Im learning and healing and overall am.a better person because of it
Amazing ep. Megs question about the covenant friendship and there being deep intimacy was very interesting. I have a very amazing new friendship that’s in that realm, and we’ve developed a wonderful deep and committed connection. It’s also been my healthiest friendship and we also have a shared passion for Christ. It’s long distance but we travel together, share everything and talk every day. Theres so much security, honesty and intimacy and I know that’s hard to come by in friendship but it’s so amazing when you are blessed to have it
I totally agree on the difference between white and black friendships. The vibe is not the same. I just cant explain it. Also noticed the relationships I had from University and the ones I made later in life is not the same. Hence every friendship is unique
Wow F.I.L.E.S it a tactic that I’m going to use for myself as well as others because it definitely helpful navigating throughout life. Much needed episode for sure!!!!
I think this great divide in relationships we are receiving is linked into the self awakening therapy era we’re in. The main issue I have observed is that people get in relationships for them not honoring or even knowing what true relationships bring and offer. So they do relationships as they are according to what they think they need and want instead of what real relationships is. Real relationships albeit spousal or platonic are very inconvenient because some of you that work for you alone will not work with another person because of their needs and wants. It’s my man or my friend needs to do and accept/like this and not enough of knowing what you need like how you may need to be supported(not catered to in order to be okay) in the ways that benefit you. It’s very one sided and when people don’t get what they want they feel they shouldn’t do relationships when the only reason is doesn’t work is because of the way they are doing and approaching relationships. They just haven’t been done right so in the self awakening you really learn what things are you realize what was and what wasn’t and why. Also relationships platonic and especially marriage/marriage like relationships are mirrors they shows you you and ppl think it’s the other person because they’re present but it’s really you highlighting you to you to signify not necessarily what’s wrong but one there’s more required, some attributes conflict because they don’t work not only for other but actually not for you but that’s all you knew was taught grew up around chose etc that God wants to highlight shed make aware remove etc to make you better and in the world not of the world to become who he created you to be. And that’s what ppl get offended at because they don’t believe ppl and relationships have the power to make them correct them change them that maybe who you are on your own is not your best self or how you need to be so the person present is the problem. It’s a trip but the summation I have observed is that ppl are extremely self centered and they lead and breed with in and operate all they do from that place and that’s where and why they aren’t stuck because ppl are growing more diligent about their invested interests for the actual whys of what these relationships actually are and are for what they require to be what they are supposed to be in their most optimum healthy ways of being done.
We think too much.. about everything. To have a friend be a friend. The end. We don’t have to dissect every element of our livelihood. We have complicated simply living in the world and navigating basic elements of life.
Great Episode for us Sister/Friends and I commend you ladies for this episode because reality girlfriend shows are teaching totally the opposite of this! 👏🏽🙏🏽
To anyone thinking of ending a friendship, please don’t tell your friend that they’re contributing to your mental health issues & that you’re not open to talking about things further. Not only is that cold; but you’re also putting the weight of your mental health issues on another person who most likely had no idea what you were going through (if you never communicated it). In other words, try not to burn a bridge. Because I would never be friends again with someone who blamed me for their mental health. That’s too extreme and tells me that the person lacks self-awareness & emotional regulation skills.
I really appreciate all the research included and how all those things play apart in our need for community! Great episode and I have some journaling to do 🤭💓
I’ve had to classify my “Low maintenance” friendships as acquaintances. My true friendships are deep, intimate, where I can be vulnerable and are extremely important. Truly rooted in love.
agreed. you’re not really my friend if we are actively involved in each other’s lives.
I just turned 34 and I really only have one friend that I’ve know for 20 years. Everyone else is an acquaintance. Finding and meeting friends as an adult is a journey. I’ve been praying for a group of like minded friends. 🙏🏾
32, no friends.
Don't really have an issue meeting people. People just don't seem to want to take time to make a new friend. I've tried everything "they" say in order to make friends. I too have prayed for God to intervene and send me people who are for me. It's been years.
I think low maintenance friendships are helpful for people who feel overwhelmed with tasks and expectations in their life already. They are saying that they don’t feel they can show up every day or how someone else will require them too. It’s actually pretty mature I think.
Absolutely! I was waiting for that perspective to oppose the fear of vulnerability. In this season of my life, I don't have the capacity to "nurse" friendships. If last season, we were brunching every weekend and this season, I need to pivot with other responsibilities or to simply "refill my own cup", it should not make one question the validity of our relationship....and this is why I advocate low-maintenance friendships.
I completely agree with this!
I agree. Some friendships are so overwhelming . There’s time I need like a month to recharge doesn’t mean I don’t care. I feel like sometimes even when I let some friends no I need time alone they still take offense.
This is usually my definition of low maintenance friendships. Friendships where is not a requirement to speak everyday, and if we go a week without talking there's no love lost or hurt feelings. But we are vulnerable with one another, we "see" each other flaws and all, and still support and show up for each other. We are out here just trying to live life. However, if I'm understanding correctly, Danielle defined low maintenance as lack of connection, and the friendship wouldn't survive a disagreement or different views/opinions.
I agree; this is the perspective that was missing.
This conversation is very triggering yet so awakening. The gems dropped forced me to be completely honest with myself about this topic.
You are not alone, this has been very hard to watch but I know it's what I needed to hear..especially that ending😭🙌🏼
@@alexrae9190 This!
F- Fear, detachment/lean in
I- Identity, WHO are you
L- Love, what do you define it as
E- Expectation, what is the need
S- Selfishness, what is your capacity
I felt so understood watching this. I am someone that doesn’t like conflict. The potential response gives me anxiety because I grew up being misunderstood and not heard from my own family. Growing up in a Jamaican household voicing your opinion is considered disrespect. When you’re emotional it’s overlooked and life just goes on(you have to be tough). It was never a safe place for me to be vulnerable so I grew up being the strong friend on the outside while hurting on the inside as I was always downplaying my feelings.
If you happen to hurt my feelings I replay the scenario in my mind and get distant and not address it until it’s too late. I also fear that if I express myself it won’t end well because I’m so used to going through that with family and it’s nerve wracking especially when you mean well. I definitely see this as something to work on so I can form healthier relationships. This EP was very informative and I will be sure to apply it❣️
This was so relatable especially the part about growing up in a Jamaican household. But I have hope that things can get better especially as we have access to these types of conversations that we can learn from. I wish you all the best in your journey to healthier relationships.
@@perspectiveontheroxMe too🙏🏾. Thank you so much 🙂
I’m so glad that God does not give up on me when I messed up. So I can’t give up on my friendships when they messed up.
@@maureentulloch7737 This is my hurt. I love that I’m so forgiving and considerate to those I call friends, I only which I received it back.
Whew🥹🙌🏾
47:15 As someone who's experienced a few friendship breakups that were just so heart-wrenching I totally resonated with Meg when she mentioned one of the reasons people opt for low maintenence friendships. I am a deeper lover so the fear to open myself up the same way I did in my old friendship is a real thing especially when you were rejected and made to feel like something is wrong with you. It's just another kind of risk and at times you even study people and the moment they exhibit some of the things you dealt with in the past, you immediately detach in your mind so it's a challenge.
I totally agree with what Danielle says about low maintenance friendships. In my experience, everyone who I’ve seen champion “low maintenance friendships” are high maintenance on the receiving end but don’t have the capacity to give. Which takes honesty and self awareness to recognize. Great episode!
Bingo
Thisssss!
This spoke to my spirit so much. I have had the same friends for around 25 years and we have had some great times together but the last 4-5 years I have found that I am getting distressed/anxious whenever I am in their company or when we make plans to meet up. When I started doing the work in myself became less of a people pleaser and started building a relationship with God I started to realise how unhealthy alot of my friendships are and how I have allowed certain things to happen. It has been years of being spoken over, not being celebrated, having to censor myself constantly, walking on egg shells, receiving very backhanded compliments , me getting gifts for birthdays and going the whole 9 yards and not even receiving a card... The list goes on.
It's a very difficult time of transition and I pray The Lord seriously helps me to navigate this season cause I have no idea how to but I do know there is a very uncomfortable shift.
I'm currently reading her book. It may help you as well. It's called "Fighting for our Friendships"
@@07ikkin thankyou for this x
People need to understand that low maintenance does not equal no maintenance.
🙌🏾
I love how you touched on algorithms! It is such a bait and fuel to fire when you’re already at odds or feeling a way in a friendship
This is an amazing episode! I've been struggling with making new friends and I never thought that Christ was missing! Whew, I need a Christ-centered friendship to feel safe again!
@@Itsafamilything252 This!!!
Completely agree! I most recently had this revelation then stumbled upon this video today! I pray that we connect with Christ minded sisters
Wow, the level of wisdom, maturity, compassion, and understanding I received from this as a forty-five-year-old woman is incredible.
As someone who lost her best friend of twenty-something years about a year ago, grieving that friend has been so difficult, but God is faithful.
I cannot wait to read this guest’s ( Danielle) book. All of the information is beyond informative.
I absolutely love that platonic friends are getting together to help each other. I know friends who help each other with kids, buying property, etc..I've only seen it done in island/african cultures. I think it would be so amazing to see this in our (american) culture more.
Yes! Amen!
Loved this episode!❤❤❤ Can we ever have enough friendship discussions? NAW, G! these conversations are ALWAYS necessary.
Agreed! Tools are needed for us all.
Enjoyed this interview
F-fear
I-identity
L-love
E- expectations
S-selfishness
FILES @22:15
This is so eye opening for me! Navigating friendships over the past 5 years has been tough. However I haven’t lost hope and I’m gaining more discernment in understanding that I too play a role in the quality of my friendships.
I love how much Megan talks about her friendship with Jackie!!! ❤❤
Me and my sisters in Christ got our tickets. We see you soon Megan, we excited all the way from California.
Two beautiful, smart, caring, lovely Christ-centered black women. LOVE IT ❤
Yoooooo that HR moment was hitting the nail on the head. OMG!!! I have been saying that the past 2 years I was getting talked to like HR, even mentioned it to the girl, like after knowing you nearly 20 years 🤷🏾♀️ what’s good? 😮
Crazy enough I’ve had friendship issues this week. I’m 33 and I’ve had friendship issues since I was a child. This episode helped so much. So many different perspectives.
@@BigBankBon00 completely relate to this.
me and my bestie almost ended our friendship over something so small and I'm glad u guys are doing this ivee been waiting for a video from u in friendships !!! 😩
Women friendships varies from person to person. Some of us have inner court friends and outer court friends, we know the difference and know where to place each one. A lot of us love peaceful and mature friendships.
Some conflict comes most often from silent expectations and sometimes I’ve noticed those that have conflicts a lot, there’s unmet affirmations, rejection the feeling abandonment from childhood that keeps them in on going conflicts in their friendships. Also a lot of people haven’t taught to effectively communicate. 🙏🏾
I LOVE what Meaghan said about bringing up things to your friend it “hold more weight on how you respond.” Thats HUGE!
So amazed at how on point some of Danielle's specifics were for me when it came to a recent friendship that I had to end. I have been so pained by it because it was an old friendship that I thought would never change.
She stopped seeing me for who I am and I was constantly scared I was going to make her mad. These were things God had showed me, and Danielle confirmed how unhealthy they are for anyone. I don't know when it will stop hurting so much, but I am so grateful to have women like you both to look after all of us and share your wisdom!
Praying for God centered friendships I’m in season of loneliness and isolation really would like to have Godly community. Right now I literally have my husband and my mom as my friends. Don’t understand why I’m so alone.
At least you have 2 people. Imagine having no one
@07ikkin hey now, God is your friend, friend 😊 (by the way I'm in the same boat, and this mindset will get you nowhere but into a season of depression when we should be rejoicing that the Lord loves us so much, that He'd much rather have us in isolation for now, and prepare us for the Goldy friendships/community that He's always destined for us, than to be messing with people who would delay the season of a christ like community and even cause a whole new, unnecessary season of greive, hurt and betrayal.) I know you're probably feeling so incredibly lonely, but you are not alone ❤ Sending hugs and kisses😊
@@_snakho9717 Indeed it is a preparation phase. I would rather you lean in to the season and allow God teach and equip you for where He is taking you. You may not be able to handle the type of friendship you are praying to God for. So go through the growth process. God has the capacity to fill the void you are feeling in your season of isolation, so lean more on Him and find completeness in Him FIRST. Then these other things will be added... Stay well ♥
I’m in a similar situation except no family and no husband!! I am trying to be grateful in my preparation season 🙏🎚️
Great conversation. I love Danielle’s voice and how she speaks.
I really appreciate this conversation… I know this episode focused on platonic relationships but it brought awareness to the fact that no relationship will lack conflict (minor of major).I recently had a situation that I beat myself off so bad on because I wasn’t smart when it came to conflict & kept making myself feel if I wasn’t perfect , then I was at fault and there was no opportunity for it to grow… when in reality perfection is IMPOSSIBLE as humans but like Meg said: “the goal is to be Christ-like”. I’ve recognized my faults, apologized and have accepted whatever outcome that comes … but instead of beating myself up , I recognized I have to work on those areas && heal if not for that person but for myself and those in and who will come in my life . Conflict can be used to elevate not only yourself but that relationship
This was a very eye-opening segment! I also thank God for showing me my growth as I watched this video without being triggered by past trauma, and taking the initiative to reflect on how I can do things differently and in a more healthy/productive manner moving forward. Glory to God! ❤ Thank You, Jesus. ✨💙🙏🏽
I absolutely LOVE this episode. I have experienced a number of people who wanted “low maintenance” relationships and I did not know that was a thing. It had me thinking I was needy or wanted too much. Glad to see otherwise.
My goodness! So good, navigating friendships can be soo awkward and complex!! 😅
This is an amazing conversation. I’m at a season in life where God is bringing things to the forefront about “friends” in my life. He’s not showing me, for me to cut them off, but as a safety for myself. I’m learning to deal with them differently. I seek to move differently and deal with individuals where they are. God is directing me as to how much to share. Friendship are the same as a romantic relationship, you must be open to adjusting accordingly for a healthy relationship.
Really needed this episode I recently let go of a friendship and I feel resolute in my decision but I gained so much insight on my own faults and how to maintain and grow my other friendships
This was an excellent discussion with many valuable insights to take away. Thanks for bringing Danielle on. She is articulate, beautiful, and intelligent. ❤️
really good... the insight on "avoidant attachment style" grabbed me by the neck lol. thank you!
Soooo much wisdom in this episode! 🙌🏾
Love this so much! Making friends and maintaining friendships as adults is interesting and new territory as we balance all the other things in life! This conversation was so impactful!
This has been an eye opening to me surprisingly, at the beginning I was this for ladies not me but my spirit kept telling me to watch, made my notes & already shared this to my family group, as well to all my female friends. Megan & Danielle you're truly a blessing, May the Almighty God bless you always, watching in from Dubai 🇦🇪❤
Megan closing statement came from home base and needed to be said ❤ thank you for sharing your story without directly sharing and being respectful and holding yourself accountable to God.
Love how they touch on friendships as far as being with a man/women and being in a friendship. Lot of info that we need online. People should wortk on that.
Danielle speaks so intelligently
I hope that Megan and bsimone can reconcile their differences. Don’t have to be friends but can forgive each other and at least be on talking terms. Say their piece and be at peace with each other. Friendship break ups are hard. And I can tell they still love each other. May never be the same but can be better. God bless
Can definitely be better... Love that part and looking forward to that day. The love is very much still there.
What happened
They will eventually, I believe real friendships go through a hard break up sometimes especially when you’re going through intense growth that requires you to let go of everything familiar so you can dive deep into yourself. It causes friction, decades later you’ll understand that it was necessary growth and the reason it happened was to push each of you forward in a way you couldn’t do with each other.😅
It can bring you closer in the friendship after separation or separate you forever either way, it is always for the highest of good.
Hands down my fav episode
Same same same! I literally just commented that.
This was sooooooo on time for me! Currently dealing with some challenges with a good friend of mine and have been unsure about the friendship itself and if I need to be doing things better. This episode answered so many questions I have right now about my situation and I’m so glad I came across this video! Will definitely be getting a copy of the book! I’m praying that others who are facing a rough patch with their friends receive clarity and direction from God, and also peace! 😊🙏🏾❤️
Omg yaayyyy I’m so glad for this episode!
Too good! Top 5 for sure! 🛖❤️
Caught the back end of this episode can’t wait to watch from the beginning
I'm glad i was triggered by this conversation. Just happy to hear it
That’s the answer Megan!! First viewing that person as God’s image barrier, whether they are resembling it or not! He didn’t just say Christians as image barriers, He created every man and woman to bear His image! This is where the GRACE slips in….
This episode was also triggering for me but well needed but also feel like if you try your hardest to mend a friendship by the other person is not receptive to it or don’t try to work at it. The friendship will not work. It takes two people to make it work.
Thanks Meg ❤
I love this episode! I’m among the category who desire ‘easy’ and ‘low-maintenance friendships’. I don’t believe it goes without putting in the work to develop and maintain a healthy and functional relationship.
I think desire for ease comes from previous relationships where both parties were not willing to do the work and that’s when it feels taxing, long and lonely.
That’s when I personally have wondered why a particular friendship is hard and knowing at the back of my mind that it should be easier.
this was well needed I've had a very recent devastating friendship break up and I'm praying God heals my heart and mind I've seen all the warning signs but still stuck around. I never cared as much for friends until I seen this video. I love you Meg keep sharing the wisdom and gospel !
This was really good. It put a lot of things into context and gave lots to think abt and consider!
This was a wholesome conversation on friendships. Just like any other relationship, friendships take work, intentionality and reciprocity. Let's heal so that we can show up well for each other and enjoy our relationships. 💕
I love this ❤ I needed this.
You look amazing Megan 😍😍 literally gorgeous
This friendship conversation was so beneficial in numerous ways many people need to watch this & really sit and listen. I’m glad I tuned in🤍!
I LOVE this conversation! Sooooo necessary!
Oh wow!! I love how she described intimacy. I don’t think I’ve ever heard it described that way.
The part about needing to have a friendship with another Christian so they will fully understand who you are and why you make the decisions you do is what I needed to hear. All the ppl who try to be my friend or vice versa it just always feels off or not good. So needless to say I’m still waiting on some good Christian friends to come into my life. They also will understand I have 4 kids and pregnant with #5 and that try to raise them with Christian morals and that I’m also pretty busy 😅
I genuinely feel the reason friendships are breaking up is because the Lord is drawing a line in the sand. He’s specially handcrafting relationships to build his kingdom. Wheat and tare. Not meaning an opposite party is bad or ungodly. But that we aren’t growing in the same direction so we must count it all joy tbh! 🩵
I love this entire conversation ❤, so needed, triggering for me but also insightful and beautiful to hear.
The quality of friendships play a big role. At this point in my journey, I realize I need healthy, mutually beneficial friendships. Pouring into each other! Christ has to be the center of platonic relationships and romantic. For me!
What's the book that Jackie recommended?
Thank you so much for this!!! I needed this! A close friendship I had ended years ago and I still find myself missing it. I know it was the best thing for me, but I have not found another friend like her since then. I admit, I miss that aspect of life very much!
This has really opened my eyes a lot. Thank you for this episode. I have a ton of internal work to do after listening to this.
This is a really great episode.
Such a good epi ! The part about how there is health and unhealthy conflict hits for me .
This is a powerful episode. I’ve read some of the comments and I am amazed of how many of us have similar experiences, thoughts, and feelings around female friendships
This is a much needed conversation. I’m 44 and on a personal journey to learn how to make new quality friends as well to become a quality friend
As I learn about friendships I’ve started to do a self assessment. Am I the type of friend that I desire in my life. Definitely room for growth and further development in this area
Thanks for this episode. I also feel seen and understood. I’ll be grabbing a copy of the book
This was so enriching. I learned a lot, and it is hard to make female friends. I laughed when she said the friend that always plays the victim. Also, I would say fear is what prevents me from making friends. I feel they will leave.
This video was so beautifully said. Lots of little gems in here. Will definitely be investing in her book. ❤
OMG!! This was sooooooo good! I’m praying more ppl see this and do the work to fix self so that you can be a better friend and partner
Whew this brought out a lot of things I as a friend have to change… very great conversation and very helpful and insightful
This was amazing!! Danielle is low key super funny lol. She most definitely READ some people, situations and things (haha).
This episode made me subscribe! I will definitely share it. I think that this conversation benefits both men and women. This is the first episode that I have watched, but I will definitely be watching some of the past episodes 🙏🏾❤️
I love this chat!!!! I told my best friend who him and i are spiritually growing with Jesus and got into a deeper dive around the same time. And we tell each other we love each other all the time that we care for each other. We talk to each other about things that are going on and we had a moment where we expressed that we wanted to be the Jonathan to our David and it was so freeing to know that I have such a intimate non romantic bond
This was sooooo GOOD!!! 🛖🛖🛖
I love this conversation,it definitely called me out but it also showed the roots of many things.
Love that you have Danielle on here!
I'm loving this podcast 🎉❤
Hearing all this research and theories about friendships-- makes me think back to many of my own observations-- long story short though, I'm 49 minutes into the pod and my opinion on the topic at the moment regarding deep friendships or not so deep, in my personal opinion based off of my life, my testimony before and after me coming to God, God pulling me up out the grave I was putting myself in, ALL MY DEEP FRIENDSHIPS, after coming to our creator, are rooted in Christ. Period. My friendships now, aren't any ones i chose for myself but rather GOD cultivated my friendships and the Christ centered community in apart of. It's been amazing, keeps me in Awe and in constant Thanksgiving because I'm constantly reminded, it could've been another way. I wouldn't be here today too teach and serve and love and model all I do for God's glory, to show his love, unconditionally, if it wasn't for our heavenly Father. Our beginning and the end, the creator of ALL THINGS! All the glory belongs to God🙌🏻❤🥰✨️
Thank you Megan for all you do girl, I been following you since before In Totality and I see the work, God's work all over you and all you're apart of and I'm grateful to God for using you to help out a woman of God like myself who only truly been intimate with God the last 5 years-- and the joy!!!! The joy of the Lord is my strength
Every episode is so wholesome 🥹♥️
I think what is missing is.. if God told you to leave, I'm out. Period. And sometimes, he does tell us to leave a friendship. They have served their purpose for that season. They are not meant to go with you into your next season. So I think to try to figure out how to stay, is a carnal response if God is saying to do something different.
This was a great conversation and so informative, however there are times when you have to move forward without a conversation espcially when you've had two or three conversations and you dont feel seen or understood and realize its emotionally and mentally exhausting to keep talking about the same things over and over and people just dont get it. Sometimes all you really have with someone is history and what i realized as the more i healed the little girl and people pleaser in me..i released a lot of people because i was the best thing since sliced bread when i let things slide but when i started to speak up i became the problem and yes i take accountability for the part i played and a lack of self love. Im learning and healing and overall am.a better person because of it
Amazing ep. Megs question about the covenant friendship and there being deep intimacy was very interesting. I have a very amazing new friendship that’s in that realm, and we’ve developed a wonderful deep and committed connection. It’s also been my healthiest friendship and we also have a shared passion for Christ. It’s long distance but we travel together, share everything and talk every day. Theres so much security, honesty and intimacy and I know that’s hard to come by in friendship but it’s so amazing when you are blessed to have it
I totally agree on the difference between white and black friendships. The vibe is not the same. I just cant explain it. Also noticed the relationships I had from University and the ones I made later in life is not the same. Hence every friendship is unique
Wow F.I.L.E.S it a tactic that I’m going to use for myself as well as others because it definitely helpful navigating throughout life. Much needed episode for sure!!!!
Absolutely love this episode and Meghan’s top🌚✨
Soooo good. Wow. ❤
I think this great divide in relationships we are receiving is linked into the self awakening therapy era we’re in. The main issue I have observed is that people get in relationships for them not honoring or even knowing what true relationships bring and offer. So they do relationships as they are according to what they think they need and want instead of what real relationships is. Real relationships albeit spousal or platonic are very inconvenient because some of you that work for you alone will not work with another person because of their needs and wants. It’s my man or my friend needs to do and accept/like this and not enough of knowing what you need like how you may need to be supported(not catered to in order to be okay) in the ways that benefit you. It’s very one sided and when people don’t get what they want they feel they shouldn’t do relationships when the only reason is doesn’t work is because of the way they are doing and approaching relationships. They just haven’t been done right so in the self awakening you really learn what things are you realize what was and what wasn’t and why. Also relationships platonic and especially marriage/marriage like relationships are mirrors they shows you you and ppl think it’s the other person because they’re present but it’s really you highlighting you to you to signify not necessarily what’s wrong but one there’s more required, some attributes conflict because they don’t work not only for other but actually not for you but that’s all you knew was taught grew up around chose etc that God wants to highlight shed make aware remove etc to make you better and in the world not of the world to become who he created you to be. And that’s what ppl get offended at because they don’t believe ppl and relationships have the power to make them correct them change them that maybe who you are on your own is not your best self or how you need to be so the person present is the problem. It’s a trip but the summation I have observed is that ppl are extremely self centered and they lead and breed with in and operate all they do from that place and that’s where and why they aren’t stuck because ppl are growing more diligent about their invested interests for the actual whys of what these relationships actually are and are for what they require to be what they are supposed to be in their most optimum healthy ways of being done.
This was so helpful. So informative! So enlightening. Thank you.
An amazing episode and soooo accurate for the season that I’m in. What incredible insight! Thank you for this blessing ❤
We think too much.. about everything. To have a friend be a friend. The end. We don’t have to dissect every element of our livelihood. We have complicated simply living in the world and navigating basic elements of life.
This conversation made sense and was a joy to hear. I got a chance to do some reflection, and I feel empowered going forward. Thank you !
This was really really good and needed!!
Loved this conversation ❤️
I can c both you and Jackie have same rings ❤😊 I love this for you 😊
Wow this episode was soooo good! ❤️❤️ these conversations are so needed!
Great Episode for us Sister/Friends and I commend you ladies for this episode because reality girlfriend shows are teaching totally the opposite of this! 👏🏽🙏🏽
To anyone thinking of ending a friendship, please don’t tell your friend that they’re contributing to your mental health issues & that you’re not open to talking about things further. Not only is that cold; but you’re also putting the weight of your mental health issues on another person who most likely had no idea what you were going through (if you never communicated it). In other words, try not to burn a bridge. Because I would never be friends again with someone who blamed me for their mental health. That’s too extreme and tells me that the person lacks self-awareness & emotional regulation skills.
Currently going through this, I definitely needed to see this. ❤
I really appreciate all the research included and how all those things play apart in our need for community! Great episode and I have some journaling to do 🤭💓