So, About Friends

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  • Опубліковано 28 лис 2024

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  • @tamarabaker487
    @tamarabaker487 Рік тому +536

    "How you show up as a friend, helps your friends become better friends." Good stuff! So good.

    • @jemimakeston7827
      @jemimakeston7827 Рік тому +6

      Not really.

    • @taylorcamille5493
      @taylorcamille5493 Рік тому +11

      @@jemimakeston7827 It's true, I'm learning that now. People learn how to love by being loved. If you've never been shown love, you can't conceive it. it doesn't mean your friends will always do it but they'll know how.

    • @KeyshanaMayo
      @KeyshanaMayo Рік тому +1

      @@taylorcamille5493 some people feel like that can’t be loved even if you love them well.

    • @SMARAGH20
      @SMARAGH20 Рік тому

      I agree with Jem. That's not always the case. I ALWAYS show up for friends and I don't ever see that in return. I'm always a giver but ppl tend to be taken advantage of. Im know in a situation where I have a so called friend who has shown jealousy and lack of support for me and I'm like I'm done

    • @taylorcamille5493
      @taylorcamille5493 Рік тому +3

      @@SMARAGH20 i used to have a similar problem. It really helped me to begin enforcing boundaries with everyone and working on my self esteem so I could be brave enough to enforce those boundaries. But please recognize that people still need to be loved. If loving them from a distance is necessary, do that 🤷🏽‍♀️. But
      Luke 7:47 states that he who is forgiven little, loves little. So continue to show up for your friends, but make sure you have good boundaries. They'll protect you from users.
      Also, if that person can't handle being your friend, love them from a distance. Speak well of them, bless them, send them, communicate your boundaries, and keep your distance. Don't let them make you bitter. How you love your friends is a gift. If they can't appreciate it, forgive them for that and keep it moving.

  • @jaclynwight4211
    @jaclynwight4211 9 місяців тому +61

    “Look for friendships that will last until you’re 80” wow that spoke to me!!

  • @angelathomas6843
    @angelathomas6843 Рік тому +1562

    This episode has truly blessed me. I've been praying about making friends. I feel like making friends when you are older it's harder. I just want to be surrounded by Godly purpose filled women.

  • @lthompson601
    @lthompson601 Рік тому +345

    Now at the age of 50 (unmarried) I wish I had been more intentional about friends. It is hard to meet friends when you're older because people are settled in their lives and it's hard to trust people (women at that) but I dont want to die alone without friends or a husband. We really do need people. ❤

    • @melliemel32
      @melliemel32 Рік тому +44

      Praying for you sister. Trust the Lord…One thing my mom told me is that when she was young and had committed to walking closer with the Lord, she prayed and asked the Lord for Christian friends (like Preston mentioned) and it was not long before He began to bring those Christian friends! This was when I was very little, so all I remember is my Mom having good Christian friends. Watching those relationships created a template for my friendships as I became an adult. I shared that to say to you: I just turned 48 and I’m also unmarried. I do have a solid community of Christian friends, and you can too! God answers prayer! What makes you different from Preston or my Mom? If you’re a Christ follower; Nothing. The Lord hears that concern and I believe He’ll answer. Blessings! 🙏🏽✝️

    • @taneyahunter8815
      @taneyahunter8815 Рік тому +35

      Along with the response that was given I also suggest, respectfully changing your mindset. If you feel like people can't be trusted, women or men then you won't be open when God starts sending people your way. If you're a Christian look for the fruit of the Spirit in those you want to be friends with.

    • @jordanab.9352
      @jordanab.9352 Рік тому +5

      @@taneyahunter8815 exactly. I agree with you

    • @jessicawilliams1726
      @jessicawilliams1726 Рік тому +8

      Just pray for what you want!! God answers prayer, I know because He is currently blessing me with new God centered friendships.

    • @Simisola_Akeju
      @Simisola_Akeju Рік тому +4

      I pray you find peace that passes all understanding in Christ Jesus

  • @tazzyfaye5162
    @tazzyfaye5162 Рік тому +337

    I love the ending when Preston said God is calling us to hard things, and hard things often produces great outcomes. Very profound!

  • @noxolondlela8843
    @noxolondlela8843 Рік тому +295

    After I got saved 2 years ago I lost all my friends and God just told me to have peace being alone and not even pursue friendships. But now I'm trying to make friends with people who will encourage me and support my faith and it's not easy at all

    • @ogechukwuokpala9607
      @ogechukwuokpala9607 Рік тому +16

      Praying for you and for an abundance of friendships

    • @noxolondlela8843
      @noxolondlela8843 Рік тому +6

      @@ogechukwuokpala9607 thank you so much . I keep praying for it. God bless you . 🙏

    • @shukriyyahmurchison681
      @shukriyyahmurchison681 Рік тому +7

      Praying you get 3 good girlfriend who will pray for you and with you who will be a blessing to you

    • @noxolondlela8843
      @noxolondlela8843 Рік тому +4

      Amen . I receive it in the name of Jesus. . Thank you so much.

    • @shalayne9054
      @shalayne9054 Рік тому +11

      I went through the same thing. But after I really let go of my old friendships God blessed me with friends that love Him and I can talk about Him to.

  • @Claudia-yc8xk
    @Claudia-yc8xk Рік тому +109

    This is so timely honestly, my prayer for 2023 is for Godly friendships and a Godly relationship.
    There definitely has been a shift in some of my friendships and I realized I'm changing so much that these friendship no longer align with who I am anymore. I really would love more loving, kind, faith filled, fulfilling relationships and I pray for all people in the comment section seeking that in Jesus name 🤍

    • @livingtestimonyqueens5554
      @livingtestimonyqueens5554 Рік тому +4

      This is me!!!!! ❤️🙏🏾

    • @JessicaRamirez-dm2pq
      @JessicaRamirez-dm2pq 11 місяців тому

      Agree! I am, at that season as well and need to work on the friendship s that can actually benefit with my faith

  • @cwnj40
    @cwnj40 Рік тому +141

    OMG, what Jackie said about you shouldn't have to work so hard to make someone your friend...I'M GROWN". YES! Thank you for that!!!!

  • @Neenz2990
    @Neenz2990 Рік тому +43

    Can’t express how much I love their union, I really pray that their marriage will always glorify God

  • @kaybhealthy
    @kaybhealthy Рік тому +41

    Mmmmmm. Jackie said it best… having friends because of their “style.” EVERYTHINGGGG is aesthetic now a days even friendship. Sad but true & it has many of us wanting that “Instagram, social media” type of friendship where friends are dressed up, clinking drinks & doing a day in the life videos lol

    • @LuvKitKatt
      @LuvKitKatt 8 місяців тому

      PHEWWWWWW I HAD AN EXPERIENCE W THIS!!!

  • @unapologetically_trese
    @unapologetically_trese Рік тому +357

    Whew, this was so good! This a much-needed conversation because people think friendships are supposed to get easier as you get older. No, making time, being intentional, being receptive, and being communicative is WORK!

  • @justapseudonym7
    @justapseudonym7 Рік тому +58

    I've had so many friendships where I was drained and it's hardened me to the point where I no longer want to be emotionally available for friends. And I'm praying for God's healing

    • @TT-zf1bn
      @TT-zf1bn Рік тому +4

      I hear this but God doesn’t want us to be isolated. I’m going to keep praying for healing and asking God for godly friends ❤

  • @BelindaSong_
    @BelindaSong_ Рік тому +25

    I agree with Jackie that we need to pray about our relationships versus following a rulebook. I think as human beings we have a tendency to want a "how-to guide", "follow these steps" type of advice when it comes to life situations but as Christians we are called to check earthly wisdom with the Holy Spirit. Some situations may be toxic but if God calls us to it, He will give us strength to walk through it.

  • @brittneyr.5114
    @brittneyr.5114 Рік тому +102

    You two were made for each other. ❤️

    • @malalampakani6252
      @malalampakani6252 Рік тому +10

      Nah they were not made for each other, they work hard for each other they choose to be with each other every day even in the darkest of days, that is compatibility finding what you can compromise on and just build each, that's why we have these two ❤❤ Iove them from Zambia, my wish is to meet them 😢

    • @brittneyr.5114
      @brittneyr.5114 Рік тому +1

      @@malalampakani6252 ❤️

  • @jenee579
    @jenee579 Рік тому +61

    It's crazy that we aren't taught to pray for our friendships the way we are, romantic relationships! However, the timing and topic of this video? God clearly told y'all to make it for ME...PERIOD! So, thank you for this. 🙏🏽💜

  • @nell_uhh
    @nell_uhh Рік тому +81

    Interesting conversation. . I have kids, and a man, but I’m soooo isolated…. I have distant friends, but as I age, and as life goes on, it’s getting harder to maintain friendships….. and well… I’ll be honest…. I like being alone 😅… when I don’t have my kids around, all I want is some peace and quiet to do NOTHING…. I’m kinda over overextending myself to stay in peoples lives when they don’t even do the same for me.

    • @wilsonswife85
      @wilsonswife85 Рік тому +13

      As little as that seems and as hard as it sounds its true. And as Christians I find this very difficult because Jesus was OUTSIDE...

    • @lthompson601
      @lthompson601 Рік тому +8

      @@wilsonswife85 Perfectly said! I never really had a problem with being alone but now that my children are grown I don't want to be alone. I want to live outside like Jesus.😇❤

    • @angelomendes2867
      @angelomendes2867 Рік тому +7

      @@wilsonswife85 but He also stayed in solitude to stay in peace with the Father. So there’s no problem with choosing solitude over gathering sometimes

    • @nikkistahr7105
      @nikkistahr7105 Рік тому +6

      This! All of this!! All your comments reaonate!!....I have a nice circle of women but lately I have little interest in going too tooooo deep..as I have before. I have taken out alot of time to pour into them but the pouring definitely doesn't go both ways (with the exception of 2 from time to time but majority kinda cant especially because of where they are spiritually and in life..no shade just saying 1 still a side piece 1 hastly chasing money over everything 1 angry at men..but 1 spiritually above me and deep..1 trying to gain their spiritual footing which is beautiful)..
      Overall, I feel like I'm a big WELL where folks come to fill their cup..but at this point with so many years of servitude and loyalty and pouring...the well needs some pouring into right?!
      So I'm rocking with my husband and God..I need a break, and now at 38 (just turned a few days ago)...im tired and just think I need some reevaluation, pruning, and silence..if that makes sense.

  • @darnellking6678
    @darnellking6678 Рік тому +27

    When Jackie spoke about cultivating long lasting friendships.. I felt that.

  • @IAmTaylorOwens
    @IAmTaylorOwens Рік тому +21

    Amen I needed this!
    I saw myself battling with feelings of loneliness because I lacked friendship! But I am now in a season of God bringing me Godly friendships!

  • @priscillaward8905
    @priscillaward8905 Рік тому +70

    Grateful for the Godly friends who stuck around when I had nothing to offer at all and taught me how to show up for others in a way I didn’t know before. I struggle with friendships. I’m 29, and I fee like I only have capacity for a few friendships but my heart wants to be there for more friends. I need to pray more about this honestly.

  • @arielprivott844
    @arielprivott844 Рік тому +9

    Yessss… many people think that time breads intimacy AUTOMATICALLY & it simply doesn’t. Intimacy had to be intentional- even when there’s chemistry. You can have a 20 year surface friend & you can have a 2 year friendship that you rely on without question.

  • @victoriayates8765
    @victoriayates8765 Рік тому +32

    Absolutely loved how Preston is not afraid to be vulnerable and communicate with his male friends

  • @tranquilitywithinllc2916
    @tranquilitywithinllc2916 Рік тому +35

    Good chat. I believe all friendships and relationships should have a purpose otherwise it's a distraction in your life.

  • @SamiraJay
    @SamiraJay Рік тому +139

    I low-key need a part two on this discussion! Navigating adult friendships have been a bit difficult for me. I'm not the best at keeping in touch. This was good, y'all touched on a lot of different aspects.

    • @TestimonyTalkPodcast
      @TestimonyTalkPodcast Рік тому +3

      Preach fam lol

    • @reneeparker2056
      @reneeparker2056 7 місяців тому

      This was an awesome discussion. In regards to friendships the only thing I know is that you don’t know and you can’t trust anybody.

  • @luckiegrl27
    @luckiegrl27 Рік тому +12

    19:10- when God schedules your play dates! 😂😮‍💨🙏🏽
    I’ve been talking to my 8th grade students about this topic. I have had friendships that have lasted since middle school (30+ years), and I’ve taken on new ones and been adopted into family units in the years since, as well. But like Preston said, sometimes it’s about SEASONAL companions. “We’ll walk this leg of the journey together, and there’s no animosity when we start to keep tempo with another, or one person needs to stop and tie her shoelaces so she tells the other to go on without her, or one of us gets new wind and is ready to sprint.”
    At the core of the content area that I teach (English Language Arts/ ELA) is our ability AND willingness to effectively connect, communicate and collaborate with those whom we will encounter throughout our lives. But if I called everyone that considers ME a friend everyday, I’d be on the phone all the time. The relationships IN my life right now are the people who, like Jackie said, have the kind of character that sees HEARTS. People who are weird and fun and who aren’t so self-centered that they spend most of their time judging everyone ELSE based what they bring to the table (aka, “What can YOU do for ME?”).
    So I trust God to help me know when and how much to give, I talk to my people and listen to them (including what they’re NOT saying), and I trust that his promise to use it all for good (Romans 8:28) will hold true. I’ve only gotten better at it because of all of the opportunities for practice that God has given me! 😩😂 That, and the fact that I’m so focused on Jesus that anyone who’s walking with me can’t HELP but hear his name, see evidence of his faithfulness, and get just a taste of his love, filtered through my body-flawed, though it may be. 😮‍💨🙏🏽❤️ His love covers a multitude of sins!

    • @maggiefraser8153
      @maggiefraser8153 Рік тому

      "That, and the fact that I’m so focused on Jesus that anyone who’s walking with me can’t HELP but hear his name ... " This is me, and I love yhat God uses us through that quality. Out of the heart the mouth speaks

  • @artforchrist5065
    @artforchrist5065 Рік тому +123

    When I say that this is RIGHT ON TIME! The Holy Spirit does not miss!! 🎯Thank y’all for this incredible message. I’ve been struggling in the area of friendships for quite some time, & this confirmed a lot of what God has been revealing to me.

  • @ajiawillis7447
    @ajiawillis7447 Рік тому +116

    This episode is everything. I've been praying for friend's like this. I feel like I've been so isolated for so long. Lord thank you for drawing me to this video. Goodness.

    • @WillieFordham
      @WillieFordham Рік тому

      Only child?? Jackie has a brother 😮😮😮

  • @rubiksdude4178
    @rubiksdude4178 Рік тому +22

    Lord give me the courage to be faithful to what you are telling me. Lord, I have not had an intimate friendship before. I do not know how to look for a friendship or what they look like. So God, I pray for discernment in hearing your voice as guidance through comfortability. Remind me that you are after my whole heart in this process.

  • @lancer717
    @lancer717 Рік тому +9

    I want to thank you two for staying true to Jesus and not giving into the world. Many “Christian” leaders are giving in. Thank you for glorifying Jesus and never being ashamed.it’s all about Him

  • @courtneyhanger7405
    @courtneyhanger7405 Рік тому +14

    "we all just want to be known and loved" so so good!

  • @stefani7329
    @stefani7329 Рік тому +28

    I have a friend who used to be a virtual friend. She was virtual for 6 years... When we met at first time it was HORRIBLE! We saw all our flaws and it cost some time of praying and reorganization and, after 3 years we met again and it was AMAZING!
    Today we still have to keep balancing our behavior, but we've been seen how God has been working through our hard friendship!!! I think that discernment is a key to know if the friendship is worth.

  • @bernardandersonii
    @bernardandersonii Рік тому +56

    I moved a lot as a kid. My sister's kept in touch with people way better than me. I still suck at this.
    I had a lot of opportunities to make friendships go deeper but I just didn't know how. I still don't know how other than just do what they want but I worry I'll be forgotten or I'll get irritated and treat someone bad. Unfortunately, I get very easily irritated with people, it's a terrible trait, even when I love them, but I don't want to lose them for silly reasons so I just don't get too close. I don't want to be rejected and I don't want to reject othes either. It's an odd thing.

    • @artforchrist5065
      @artforchrist5065 Рік тому +6

      I really relate to this.. I moved a lot as a child also. But we will get through this! May the Lord guide us one step at a time.

    • @dulcelopez9942
      @dulcelopez9942 Рік тому +8

      Yoooo, I know what u mean! 😩 I realized that I would get irritated and not even meaning to i would take it out on them and just let friendship die out and then saw myself working so hard to please people and it wasn’t healthy and led to more hurt and toxicity. So I had to get to the root of where the irritation was coming from. Was it a trigger and why? Why am I scared to get close, and as a result pull away, and why? Why am I scared to stand up or keep my individuality- bc scared of loss. But it was the root of rejection.. but I developed and still developing an unwavering relationship with the Lord, gave those areas to God. Allowing Him to heal me, letting go of the past, and ask Him to bring people that are meant to be in my life and remove the people that do not benefit me and vice versa. Not everyone is ur assignment and is meant to be attached to u! Our identity, self worth, and validation doesn’t come from People but always and only from Jesus. And it’s a process! But ur aren’t alone ! I will be praying for u brother.

    • @justapseudonym7
      @justapseudonym7 Рік тому +4

      For me it's a combination of being afraid of rejection and also afraid of falling back into people pleasing. I'm not good at setting boundaries so I'd rather keep people at arms length and I don't like being emotionally depended on

    • @tapinwithtiffany538
      @tapinwithtiffany538 Рік тому +8

      That irritation may at the root really be anxiety because of the history of instability & disappointments. I'd ask God to help & ask Him to connect with you to a trauma- trained counselor, as I did.

    • @dulcelopez9942
      @dulcelopez9942 Рік тому +2

      @@tapinwithtiffany538 amen 🙏🏼

  • @paulajames6149
    @paulajames6149 Рік тому +8

    I have been examining my family and friends, specifically friends lately. I am heading into my 50’s and I am particular about friendships. I find myself wanting reciprocation and meaning in my relationships. I don’t see any value in spending time with people that only take from me or cannot get deep. With this desire, it’s difficult to find new friends. I find myself running back to old friends that may not be fulfilling. It’s tough.

  • @Amberrechelle
    @Amberrechelle Рік тому +9

    Friendships are so important, and I make it my duty to invest in my friendships as I know God gave them to me as a gift. Friendships really help you to evaluate yourself, and they help you to grow and be better in other areas of your life. I am grateful for my close friends, best, friends, and associates. Personally, I do not take anyone that is my life for granted. Now, I will say this, and I know all women do not act this way, so I want to say because some women have been conditioned to prioritize romantic relationships over friendships, there is a pattern where many women do struggle to hold and make friends...... or even see the value of friendships... Yet, I think all the conversations we're having about friendships can resolve this. I also love the statement about how frienships are work. That statement is true because freinships are relationships, and we all know that friendships take investment.

  • @SimplyTeeG
    @SimplyTeeG Рік тому +26

    This blessed me sooo much! If I do not KNOW you, you are not my friend. A lot of “friendship” are just getting by off of “just vibes”, but they have no clue who they are actually associating themselves with. I understand friendship isn’t a quiz/race and should be grown organically, but they take work. I feel that if someone isn’t interested in getting to know me they are not interested in being my friend. We can be associates tho 🤷🏾‍♀️

  • @nnennaitanyi8156
    @nnennaitanyi8156 Рік тому +5

    I prayed and asked God for something edifying to listen to. And this popped up in my notifications.

  • @wayNAY87
    @wayNAY87 Рік тому +85

    I’ll add it’s so hard to find friends that are not only church goers but are sold out for Christ.

    • @shannon3801
      @shannon3801 Рік тому +4

      Ditto. When they explained that surface level friendship explanation in the beginning that’s so true.

    • @butterflybri3168
      @butterflybri3168 Рік тому +3

      🎯🎯🎯

    • @lynette4412
      @lynette4412 Рік тому +1

      So True.

    • @niapawina
      @niapawina 6 місяців тому

      This.

  • @LadyK09
    @LadyK09 Рік тому +13

    The heart of intimicy is communication and keeping a community functional and intentional about checking in with each other... Key word communication because that's one thing we really need to work on as a kingdom cause that will break barriers for people to get more vulnerable because they have the language for it...we need to talk

  • @_womaninpower
    @_womaninpower Рік тому +10

    I love that Jackie compared building strong friendships with having a strong marriage. I wholeheartedly agree with this.
    I also love that Preston talked about God calling you up higher in a place of friendship.
    This is such a profound message.
    I am especially glad I listened to it.
    God Bless You.
    I definitely will come back to this several times.

  • @cat9531.
    @cat9531. Рік тому +3

    “I’ll buy you your own” 😂😂😂 why did I resonate with this SO MUCH 😂 like take it or leave it lmfao . My mom is the same way but she the 3rd oldest of 4 🤷🏽‍♀️

  • @centerfold8
    @centerfold8 Рік тому +9

    This speaks to me it’s definitely been a prayer that I have life long friends

  • @lilliantsegaye5126
    @lilliantsegaye5126 Рік тому +10

    The timing of your messages always hit! Thank you Holy Spirit❣️❣️

  • @jwindom215
    @jwindom215 7 місяців тому +4

    Jackie really told the truth about how some people, especially women, will ascribe motives because you aren’t showing up in a way they feel you should. I lost a friend that way. She tore me down and walked away. Couldn’t understand that I was going through a transition in life. It’s been months and I’m still grieving about our friendship because I really cared for her. Please pray for me.

  • @KCarter7
    @KCarter7 Рік тому +12

    This is such a great conversation!! Friendships are hard as you get older, get married have children etc. No one really talks about it. Well done 👏🏾

  • @bradensanford6170
    @bradensanford6170 Рік тому +9

    Thank you so much for going in depth and covering the nuance of this topic. Makes me feel less crazy for thinking about it to this degree. Community is so important to a healthy Christian walk, and I think it takes a great deal of discernment and prayer to have a balanced perspective in who and how to invest in the people around you.

  • @d.t.richardson3762
    @d.t.richardson3762 Рік тому +21

    Man, y’all are so insightful when it comes to conversing about things. Just everyday situational things like friendship that holds importance. I really resonated with Preston on this one.
    I’ve been in the Air Force for over 2 years now & it’s very hard to find a few good men who I can call friend…& just have some “Kingdom talk.” We’re all so busy trying to chase after rank & quality of life…that it becomes hard to just sit down, away from it all and debrief..outside of the uniform.
    Anyhow, I appreciate you guys blessing my Holy algorithm this morning.🙏🏾

  • @monica4158
    @monica4158 Рік тому +18

    They both have such good chemistry. Very interesting about looking at a friendship from the side of being mutually beneficial to each other...

  • @journeytoloveparis
    @journeytoloveparis Рік тому +6

    I have a best friend who I love dearly, but I recently got saved again and fully recommitted my life to Christ. One of the first things God told me to do was to let my best friend go. It tore me up inside, but I trusted in the Lord and new that he will restore our friendship. So, as I love my best friend from a distance (without any communication) I am praying to God to please save him. At least when we rekindle our friendship months or years from now we will be on the same page through Christ. I miss you Jay and always want the best for you 💜!!

  • @Ro-yr1ry
    @Ro-yr1ry Рік тому +12

    Jackie I was just trusting my way through a trial n do you know watching ur sermons kept me when I couldn’t read n pray anymore 😭😭🙏 God plz continue to grow this ministry!!! Cause we need these words to help keep us clinging to Christ when we get tired of warfare❤️🙏

  • @Journey2sanctification
    @Journey2sanctification Рік тому +5

    I love how this started. I'm currently in a season of sifting through connections. What's interesting to me is, I can literally feel God guiding me to reach out to certain people that share spiritual depth. Like our conversations may sometimes include complaining, but it always ends with scripture, prayer, and encouragement! But there are definitely levels. Friends I can do dinner with, friends I am intimate with, and so on. Communication and great listening helps! I love this!

  • @kaybhealthy
    @kaybhealthy Рік тому +19

    Tis the season to make a list of what we want our friendships to look & be like & to pray over that list

  • @kaybhealthy
    @kaybhealthy Рік тому +5

    That’s so true! No one really says anymore, “hi, I would like to be your friend because i think we could benefit each other.” Kindergartners are better at this than adults, next thing you know…those same kindergartners are each others bridesmaids in their weddings 20 years later 😮

  • @shaneyg25
    @shaneyg25 11 місяців тому +1

    I can totally relate, I was not raised to share everything. My mom simply thought we should have some things to ourselves, which I understand. Her teaching did not dissuade us from sharing or make us selfish. She simply allowed me to acknowledge that I deserve things for myself as well. I do have a giving heart, so thank God for that.

  • @jamesh8093
    @jamesh8093 Рік тому +14

    This is such a great conversation. I encourage people that you cannot do this thing called life alone. We all need to have a community.

  • @KierstenAbernathy
    @KierstenAbernathy Рік тому +10

    man!!!! For the past 2 months or so, God truly has been using this podcast week after week to answer the questions I have been asking and to speak into the very seasons I am in right now. This is so good and so timely. Thank yall for having this conversation!!!

  • @RhonetteBuntyn
    @RhonetteBuntyn Рік тому +6

    10 mins in and tears just started streaming down my face...this stuff is HARD but I needed to hear this and think deeply on it.

  • @virtueous87
    @virtueous87 Рік тому +8

    This was an on-time word. I was starting to think I needed to end a friendship of 15 years because things feel different these days, but this episode helped me realize I needed to talk it out with her since I want us to be present for our future as wives and mothers.

  • @VictoriaAlexandraaxo
    @VictoriaAlexandraaxo Рік тому +12

    this episode was much needed! i’ve been saying i want new & good friends but i also have realized that i lack in the area of being a good friend myself!

  • @ItsLaShantell
    @ItsLaShantell Рік тому +2

    This helped me. Making friends as you grow in your walk with Christ gets harder and harder as you mature, yet alone difficult when factoring in spouse, children, work,etc. This really helped me to understand balance and to not get frustrated when i cannot find true connection with Godly people. Sometimes even in our walk with Christ we may bump into Godly people who are just in different spectrums of our Christian faith making it challenging to make authentic and deep connection. Trust is huge, as you mentioned. Friends have to be and feel safe. But
    also being prayerful and trusting God even in the area of friendship is just as important as doing so for anything else in our lives. Thanks for sharing. Shalom 🙏🏾

  • @comesitwithuspod
    @comesitwithuspod Рік тому +9

    Love this!! community and friendships have been on our hearts lately!

  • @SheSharpNotFlat
    @SheSharpNotFlat Рік тому +15

    I needed this podcast on this exact day. Glory to God! Thank y'all so much for taking time out to get this message out. Love your chemistry, sense of humor, and wisdom.

  • @lumbanibanda2646
    @lumbanibanda2646 Рік тому +5

    This was interesting.
    I've never really looked at friendships that way.
    I have some amazing friends that I feel I don't spend enough time cultivating relationship with and I should probably be more deliberate about fixing that. But I also have walked away from people that made being their friend a very cutting experience. But the frame that you can be someone's friend but they can't be yours and, despite how draining it is, you still stick around is beautiful to me. It's tiring. It sounds exhausting, but it's also important to ask God if that's what you should be doing because he will grant you the strength you need.
    Overall, as someone who struggles to make friends and meet new people. I think this was interesting for me to sit through. The closest friend I have is someone I prayed for. A true blessing he has been to me. Honestly it feels like he's more of a blessing to me than I am to him and that hurts me deeply. So, I have seen the power of asking God to bless you with friends. Maybe I'll do it more often.
    I'm not the biggest fan of lurking in these comment sections, 'cause it feels like I'm just talking to myself and I might as well just journal about it, but, yeah. I'll leave this to linger on the inter webs. 😂😂

    • @ngozinnadi2307
      @ngozinnadi2307 Рік тому +1

      I hear you 😊

    • @srrlstma
      @srrlstma Рік тому

      does it hurt bc u feel u don’t mean as much to him? or simply bc u can’t reciprocate all that u receive? i’d encourage a shift in perspective: u mentioned draining, tiring relationships earlier & now you’ve been blessed with one wherein u can rest. u can literally bask in an answered prayer. allow urself to receive in peace & be filled. u never know. maybe ur friend prayed to become a more valuable, nurturing friend & u are his gift as well.

  • @Journeyofjanae
    @Journeyofjanae Рік тому +2

    “YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!” Lmbo that’s my favorite church phrase! It really does rev you up and get me started 😅

  • @joyh.729
    @joyh.729 Рік тому +4

    This was good! Especially the part about looking for it to prepare for friendships that outlive spouses and children🎯🎯

  • @sarahyakubu5415
    @sarahyakubu5415 Рік тому +2

    You may have heard this a gazillion time, but man! Jackie you are beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @MarissaLenea
    @MarissaLenea Рік тому +3

    This is good, a needed conversation! The part about having and building intimacy and communicating intention in friendships was something I needed to hear.

  • @deeliteful1brown593
    @deeliteful1brown593 Місяць тому

    This is so good. I’m an older person and have been purposeful at making Godly friends. We weren’t taught how to make friends , maintain friends and know when to let people go. Being a part of a small group has blessed me with a circle of friend’s who aren’t one sided. Pray for God to send you friends. Transparencies and going deep kind of friends.

  • @makeupbyjovi
    @makeupbyjovi Рік тому +4

    This episode is fantastic! A timely conversation I learned so much. I’m currently going through this with the end of a ten year friendship. I know God is trying to teach me something and make me grow💕

  • @D.Stokes
    @D.Stokes Рік тому +5

    That “You Share” had me in tears 😂 I had to pause it to get myself together 😂❤️

  • @shalondradale1632
    @shalondradale1632 Рік тому +1

    You guy's are a very unique and transparent young couple from God, and I'm 41 yrs of age and I'm learning something from what you guys are saying is helping me grow and aspects that I didn't know,You guy's are a blessing to this generation keep doing what you doing 🙏🏾🙌🏾❤️💯💯.

  • @tanyaradzwadzuda4674
    @tanyaradzwadzuda4674 Рік тому +7

    Really enjoyed this podcast. So relevant to the season i am in right now.

  • @TS-fj2lo
    @TS-fj2lo Рік тому +2

    Yes I need the eyes to discern when God sends me friends and the faith needed to trust that they are safe. Thank you for sharing that Jackie. I didn’t have the words to express what I was needing.

  • @NBnNC
    @NBnNC Рік тому +16

    I find it interesting how all the friends I grew up with in church we’ve grown apart and evolved in different directions but I’m still connected to my high school/college friends (4 of them) because we’ve grown more parallel to each other faith & career wise 🤔

  • @txbutterfly1979
    @txbutterfly1979 Рік тому

    “How you show up as a friend helps your friends become better friends” 💯

  • @Babyshoes777
    @Babyshoes777 Рік тому +10

    Wanting a soft life (for black women), is good. Historically black women weren’t treated like humans, and womaness and femininity was reserved for white women. Even today many black women have to carry their whole family, being both roles of mother and father. Black women wanting to enjoy their femininity and a softer life is good. We are finally getting to enjoy womaness.
    Many have taken it to mean, that we are not our husbands mothers and therapists. We should get to enjoy the life God has given us in the bodies we inhabit, instead of the bodies we inhabit dictating how we should be treated by society, and culture.
    Side note: I fully understand that black culture doesn’t praise softness, we’ve had to harden ourselves, or tough up, to survive this place. But the closer I get to God the more I’m enjoying the fruits of rest, gentleness, and humility.
    Edit: grammar

    • @nondidumeko1
      @nondidumeko1 Рік тому

      All women not just black

    • @nondidumeko1
      @nondidumeko1 Рік тому +1

      Let me do it again then 👋🏽
      A L L 👋🏽 W O M E N !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @maggiefraser8153
      @maggiefraser8153 Рік тому +1

      Look up Nap Ministry!

  • @JustUdoro
    @JustUdoro Рік тому +2

    GEEZ LOUISE how much I needed to hear this one. Friends are my area where I must continue to invite the Lord into. Thank you both for displaying love. ❤️

  • @mjk5254
    @mjk5254 Рік тому +1

    I glean so much wisdom from you two as a unit and individually. Thank you God for your obedience and discipline it takes to continuously show up for yourselves, each other and your supporters. Much Love

  • @reginaronku5551
    @reginaronku5551 Рік тому +2

    My daughter as an only child is the opposite. The Girl will share her meal with kids around before having the remaining for herself.
    Sometimes I'll have to warn her about sharing everything.
    But I love that she's got the heart of giving (just like her mother)

  • @johnsondurosier9963
    @johnsondurosier9963 Рік тому +4

    This conversation was a blessing. Thanks for speaking on this.

  • @ServantofJesus247
    @ServantofJesus247 Рік тому +1

    From The title alone I was like sooo timely for me. Something I been praying about. I'm not an only child but I used to struggle with sharing.

  • @briannaj528
    @briannaj528 Рік тому +2

    God sends confirmation in so many ways….I have recently been struggling with navigating friendships this definitely has helped

  • @ThePrincesspickle88
    @ThePrincesspickle88 8 місяців тому +1

    I can't even begin to explain how much I needed this right now🙏🏽🔥🙌🏽 This discussion was GOOD!

  • @daughterofyeshuaa
    @daughterofyeshuaa 5 місяців тому

    This was healingg, and helped me let go of some bitterness I have with someone who wasn’t showing up for me. Still praying for those godly friends and working on appreciating whatever love others have to offer even if it’s not a close bond .
    Thank you guys

  • @pamodzichitsonga6901
    @pamodzichitsonga6901 Рік тому +1

    Thanks for opening up on that sharing thing in the beginning. I completely relate with Jackie on that. I am not an only child but was raised as one being the youngest kid. Sharing in marriage is still a struggle for me, in fact I would rather 'buy him his own' than share mine. That's what I have hidden behind. But I think my daughter is slowly changing that. And its seeped into my friendships, that's why sharing myself with others has been super scary. being vulnerable has been hard, so I have told myself that I would rather manage alone, but I know that Christ has called me to connect and share, its hard yall

  • @jenaechiles1694
    @jenaechiles1694 Рік тому +1

    This conversation was real impactful as I have been sharing these same thoughts with my husband as we navigate changes in relationships. None of this is easy but worth understanding and walking through. Thank you for sharing.

  • @christinamock3345
    @christinamock3345 Рік тому

    I appreciated Jackie talking about losing friends because you know they don't help you grow in your relationship with Jesus. This year I had to lose some friends (after reading 1st Corinthians 5) and it was so painful but God really understood that pain and has been caring for me in the grief and is now guiding me toward people who will instead help me grow in my relationship with Jesus. What a wonderful shepherd.

  • @donyala6485
    @donyala6485 7 місяців тому

    I ask myself that same question about being raised as an only child and being a good wife all the time. Thank you for being so transparent and honest. You both are wrecking my life in such a good way right now...I am Godly thankful!!!

  • @lanarose2460
    @lanarose2460 Рік тому +2

    A blessing, as always, with your episodes. It also explains why my spirit has been rejecting this “soft life” term, that I keep noticing. Just another “thing of this world” that I’m not trying to be about.

  • @dearbreanna
    @dearbreanna Рік тому +2

    Not even all the way through this dialog and gems on gems - this is good!

  • @chellechula
    @chellechula Рік тому +1

    Great topic! Friends are important and spiritual discernment is most vital in friendship. God bless you both!❤

  • @ebonymarie6955
    @ebonymarie6955 Рік тому +1

    This blessed me. I agree with Preston that God is leading me and particular with who I have around me in this season. A particular type of friend. I desire depth in my friendships. Definitely need to be more prayerful in this area ❤️

  • @heavensvanitar42
    @heavensvanitar42 Рік тому +1

    I relate a lot but thank God who’s working on me to be more free when it comes to being an alone child. But as for the side of friendship since elementary I have always prayed for the right connection of people in my life and God has always done that I have been connected to awesome pple and good friends I keep saying I am blessed. Friendship is also a two way and requires work to grow strong on both ends.🙏🏾

  • @indialee6939
    @indialee6939 Рік тому +1

    This segment was a blessing! So insightful, thought provoking and real! Thank you Jesus!

  • @kiesha82
    @kiesha82 8 місяців тому

    This was suuuuuuch a good conversation. It seems simple on the surface but profound in depth to those who have been socialized in toxicity, unhealthy relationships, and survival strategies. That probably covers many if not most people at some point in their lives. Thanks for sharing 🙏🏽

  • @margafrantz4406
    @margafrantz4406 4 місяці тому

    I love the example of what a Godly marriage is meant to look like that you two bring to the table. It 💯 glorifies the Lord

  • @reneeparker2056
    @reneeparker2056 7 місяців тому

    Preston, I moved away from Chicago 40 years ago to a less populated town. People here say small town people are friendlier and more trustworthy than those from the big city but that is so untrue. Chicago has more integrity. People from other places have alternative motives one must be cautious about. Overall I may be biased but people from Chicago are some of the best people. No matter how “good” people want to believe they are they do not mutually benefit you they usually lack the capacity or resources to know how to be in a quality relationship. This was a hard difficult lesson I had to learn. This was a good and well needed discussion.

  • @LittleMissSunshine721
    @LittleMissSunshine721 Рік тому

    27:34-27:49 THIS RIGHT HERE! Growth really allows you to see friendships from an aerial view. And I’m thankful for growth. 🌱

  • @taryntatum3263
    @taryntatum3263 Рік тому +4

    As a middle child, you would think I’m the friend needing attention but I am with Jackie on that level of not requiring so much need to talk and definitely do not like small talk. I do enjoy meeting and talking to people but not over doing it.

  • @nicolejohnson638
    @nicolejohnson638 Рік тому +1

    Y’all are awesome!!!!! Thank you for being so transparent and genuine. Blessed every time!

  • @jamiejamie330.
    @jamiejamie330. Рік тому +1

    Oooh this blessed me more than I can express!!! Sitting with so much regarding this topic and what y’all have laid out in this conversation. Really resonating with Preston’s experience with relocating. Thank y’all 🙏🏾🫶🏾

  • @laurakabibi400
    @laurakabibi400 Рік тому +3

    So good just had a chat with my daughter about friendships .. so this is helpful … thanks