My Fiancée's Mom Thinks I'm An Idiot!
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- Опубліковано 19 лип 2023
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The mom wasn’t building a credit score. She was using her daughter’s identity to enhance her own standard of living. I would hesitate to marry into this family …
You dont just marry your significant other, you also marry their family.
@@CivicFiberglassDoor only if the SO is weak. my husband has no in-laws and we're happy with it that way.
Getting engaged/married while in college is INSANE.
@@theslowevo9303I did. Graduated in time and everything. It was the best decision for us.
I disagree.
You marry your significant other, and if their family wants to come along to YOUR family then they can, but that's an old way of looking at it. @@CivicFiberglassDoor
HUGE RED FLAG. Run now unless you want this drama for the rest of your life.
He is doomed if he marries this woman.
No he's not. My dad was dealing with the same kind of thing and he put my moms parents in their place. He set boundaries and enforced them and had no issues treating them like children when he had to. If you're not man enough or woman enough to keep other people out of your marriage and set boundaries then yes you're screwed.
@@littleripper312 That only works if your partner is on your side.
Yep. These type of people will gaslight, work behind his back and plant seeds in her ear. The Mom will even do it in front of him. I would move on from this train wreck. Sounds to me like the fiancé doesn’t understand what marriage is.
She is standing by her Mother, NOT YOU. There's your answer.
I agree. When he kept saying that he spoke to the MIL, I was wondering why he was speaking to her at all. I think he is about to marry child and he will always have the role of her father. Sounds unhealthy to me.
She knew on the credit especially living under her roof .. there’s no way she don’t see them letters each month
Yup…this is how this goes down. Miss non confrontational isn’t going to rock the boat. Welcome to your nightmare.
@@howlbeast "She knew on the credit especially living under her roof .. there’s no way she don’t see them letters each month
"
/Rolling eyes/
That's not how people like this mother operate. This child (and she IS a child, still) was never allowed to see the mail.
That’s credit card fraud. No consent, Mom should be in jail. Simple
In addition to canceling the card, fiancé needs to lock down her credit with the credit bureaus immediately!
Do NOT marry this girl until she stands up to your potential mother in-law. This is evil and criminal behavior, and it will continue until she is forced to stop.
Ditch her now.
Sanjosemike (no longer in CA)
@@AS-gf5jn This is much more complex than just "finances." It deeply involves a very insecure, financially innumerate family.
Many young females are indoctrinated to Leftist worldview. In this worldview, men are just a "steppingstone" to later divorce, initiated by the female. She will take both their kids and his money. 80% of divorces are initiated by females.
He is "fortunate" that he has all the danger signs ahead of time. I know this will be tough. But it beats a horrible divorce with what the US Family Courts perpetrate on men. He can explain how it works to her and her family. He should look up MGTOW. They are "entitled" to know why he is bowing out.
Sanjosemike (no longer in CA)
Don't marry her at now marriage is fucking stupid for men nowadays actually if a guy gets married he's not a man at all
The red flags are there....a meek wife, an over controlling mother in law, and a girlfriend/wife that is either in denial or not willing to stand up for herself. Do NOT marry this girl.
Apple does not fall far from the Tree. Mother and Family at MINIMUM are thieves. Fiance KNOWS about the card most likely and at minimum knows her family went on vacation on credit as she lived her life with them growing up and probably pay for EVERYTHING on credit. Guaranteed. Gold Digger HOE alert... Get a PRENUP regarding finances NOW regarding prior debts etc and future debts/purchases agreements. NOW!!! That or RUN!
1. Fiance confronts mother. 2. Fiance closes accounts. 3. If mother-in-law refuses to pay off the balance, you (together) determine if you will pay off the $19K or file a fraud claim. If items 1, 2, and 3 don't happen, RUN. She's not for you.
Skip steps 1, 2, and 3. Dysfunctional family.
Why should they have to pay the mother’s debt? If the mother does not pay it within an agreed timeframe, they should file for fraud. The marriage should not go ahead until the debt is cleared (if then; they sound like a family best avoided).
@pmw3839 morally they shouldn't have to pay off the mothers debt, BUT the card is in the fiancé's name so unless they want to sue mom for fraud, they are legally obligated to pay the debt, which is in the fiancé's name.
If the mother made her daughter an authorized user, then there's been a misunderstanding, not fraud. The daughter owes ZERO today and will owe ZERO tomorrow over this. She can be removed from the list of authorized users without harming the mother or daughter or anyone's credit report (though the daughter's will be negatively impacted for a few months to a year after she's been removed from the authorized user list).
The the mother made her daughter a cosigner without the daughter specifically agreeing to it, then that's fraud and needs to be dealt with like the hosts said.
@aboutwhat1930 my understanding is the card is in the daughter's name, and the mom is an authorized user...done this way to build a credit rating for the daughter. At the end of the day the daughter is responsible for the debt as the card is in her name. Now if the mom did this without the daughter's knowledge, which appears unlikely, then its fraud.
Something tells me that his fiancee isn't going to do anything about this because she's afraid of her mother.
and not afraid of losing the fiancee
I agree…he has to walk away from this situation , but he will trying to talk it out with her family which isn’t going to change. He family will be resentful of him and unsupportive.
If she can't stand up to her mom on this issue, he needs to run.
If the fiancee doesn't stand up to her mother, she will never stand up for her husband
Facts!!!
Potentially yes. I’d be careful though. They’re quite young by the sounds of it. He needs to seek wise counsel. Obviously the MIL is toxic. 21 year olds are often unable to manage this. She needs time to learn now that this is becoming clear. I experienced this in my own early marriage.
He needs to walk away.
This guy can’t save his future wife, she has to be willing to be an adult and stand up to her mother. This guy though isn’t positive his wife didn’t actually sign for the card. Proceed with caution! She may seem perfect but you want a life partner, not a life child.
@@dbarnes544 Walk away or move to another state.
Daughter needs to file police report.
Plus they are going to have to monitor her credit from now on
Yikes. Icky and sad, but true.
I suspect the daughter knows about the card and got busted when the fiance ran a credit check. Smart move of him.
It’s not fraud. If she and the Mom took out the card as cosigners to build credit. That is the highest likelihood of what may have happened. A true fraud scenario of this type is fairly rare while what I mentioned earlier is common. Irresponsible, but common
@zlhall2011
Not true. This happens a lot more than you think.
The fact that the mother did this secretly exposes her true motive. She’s a thief and to use her own daughter’s identity without her knowledge is despicable.
If that fiancé doesn’t confront her mother on this and if necessary file a police report i would end the relationship.
He needs to end the relationship, no ifs, ands, or buts. There is no upside for him to marry her.
I would run like the wind! This is probably just the tip of the iceberg! So smart of this young man to do this research!
He needs to realize that this dynamic will continue into their marriage. She is passive and the mother is aggressive. Does he really want to deal with this for years? RUN away from the girl!!
My daughter's MIL opened up accounts in all 5 of her kids names, never paid any of them. The dad would give mom money to pay the bills, she'd blow it, and when they cut off the utilities, she'd put them in another kid's name until they got cut off again. All these kids had a really rude (and expensive) awakening when they set out to settle in homes of their own and couldn't get utilities until the thousands of dollars in balances and fees were paid. And these idiots paid it and never said a word.
I've known people who have done this to its a shame.😐
I was engaged to a girl who's parents were that insane. I was lucky enough to overcome my emotions and close off the relationship.
Happy for you that you got away from that situation you could of ended up stuck in a trap with that dysfunctional family .glad for you
Boston Strong
Future MIL has ONE WEEK to transfer the $19,000 balance to one of HER credit cards or the fiancé calls the credit card company where the credit card is in her name and reports her mom. If fiancé doesn’t do this, the wedding is at least postponed until 20 marriage counseling sessions are completed. Then reevaluate. Personally, I’d run the other way. Fiancé has “mommy issues”. Not a good way to start a marriage.
I can't even imagine how angry I would be if my mom stole my identity, made me liable for $19k of debt, and had the nerve to tell me it's for my own good. Would threaten legal action and probably not talk to her for a LONG time. Very disheartening... His future wife needs to learn how to become "confrontational", and like now
I would talk to her and file a police report with a smile. Thankfully, my mother knows I would not hesitate to prosecute her to the fullest extend of the law and neither would it occur to her to do something like this.
You're the type of person to tell people to pull themselves up by their bootstraps though aren't you?
Run Trent.....you are a smart man. You will have to deal with these people forever. In-Laws become another level of crazy when they get grandchildren 😅
This makes me sick... they would never have known if he hadn't ran a credit check. He should tell all the other siblings to run credit checks, in case MIL is also "helping them" build credit!
Huge red flag when he says his future wife is non-confrontational and "her mom's runs all her finances"... this smells of an abusive and controlling mother in law that's used to her daughter submitting to all her whims... not going to make for happy time in marriage. Delay this wedding until some serious boundaries are set.
The fact that in America you can actually get a credit card as a minor absolutely blows my mind.
It never made sense to me. It sounds like anyone can just use anyone's social security number.
A minor can be an authorized credit card user with a parent who has legal fiduciary rights. Spouses can be co-users on the same card. I can sign my name on a mutually owned card and affect the other person's credit score, but the relationship can make it difficult for it to be fraud.
I got my first one on my own at 16. They didn't require my parents to approve or anything. That was in 98. 🤷🏾♀️
That tells you who's really in charge here.
The purpose is to get you in debt and keep you in debt for life.
If you've never been in debt to the banks, it's very difficult to get a job, buy a car, buy a house, or even rent an apartment. No history of debt/credit score? Good luck.
The US is a nation of debt slaves.
having a 19k balance isn’t gonna get you a good credit score. Mom is gaslighting heavy
This right here. Mom is guilt tripping him about credit cards and needing a score when the reality is a manual underwrite with no credit score is better than a credit score reflecting an unpaid $19k. Building a credit score is charging your gas on the card and paying in full every month. It's not charging $19k of vacation expenses.
Mom is a straight up their. Theives are always liars.
Run! You’ll be fighting this your whole life!
100% the mother is coaching her daughter to take this guy to the cleaners.
DO NOT GET MARRIED.
Getting engaged/married while in college is INSANE.
That’s ridiculous. The daughter is the victim. credit card fraud by the mom. She’s not in on it. This happens to kids all the time even babies. They use their social security number to open cards.
Agree. I had friends who got married while in college and they were divorced inside of 3 years. One friend was still paying off the wedding loan while filing for divorce.
@@FabulousCucumber-ip9huI was married in college and had a kid. My wife and I are 12 years in and still good.
@@seminolekillaGood for you. But you're a statistical outlier, especially in Europe. I'm not saying college marriages can never be successful. I just wouldn't advise my kid to jump into one. You have to be very mature and know what you want but a lot of kids aren't and don't.
“I can’t get married into a fraud family.” is his only choice here. Look the daughter absolutely knew. I was in this situation at one time and he will not break this bond.
@@wordsalad01 Oh, she knew. Trust me, that’s why she’s not up in arms about it.
@@tonycrabtree3416doesn’t sound like the mom did anything criminal. Just sounds like the mom added her to a credit card as a authorized user
@@reese85 Said the card was opened into her name and used for family vacations. 🤷🏼♂️
@@wordsalad01 doubt it. Do you kno how hard it is to get a credit card with a high balance like that, especially for your 1st card?
@@wordsalad01She added a child to a credit card account as an authorized user. Totally legal.
The only advice that needs to be given it "don't marry into this family. Just walk away." Marrying her is just going to be never ending drama with her mom. Just don't.
This is a crucial moment for the potential marriage. Is this guy's fiance going to stand up to her parents and make this right? Or is she going to try to sweep it under the rug and refuse to deal with it? I'd be careful about marrying her if she's not ready to confront her parents about this.
She needs to grow up. He gave good advice. Wait on the wedding💍.
She’s not going to stand up to them as long as she’s living under their roof. If she and the caller get married and with distance she sees the BS and doesn’t allow it anymore, her mother is going to be overtly vicious and seek to poison their marriage and destroy her. She’ll say something toxic that will gnaw at the girl for the rest of her life.
Yes, they may not be ready yet. Given the fact that the daughter is still living at home, I'm guessing they are in their early 20s. She needs to fight this. Opening a credit card in someone else's name and running up a $19k bill is seriously illegal and will hurt them in the long haul.
Agreed.
Do not marry her until this gets taken care of and the account is closed. Charge the mother with identity theft and fraud.
Getting engaged/married while in college is INSANE.
@theslowevo9303 The mother that's not in college is insane 😳
It’s Chicago so they wouldn’t charge her anyhow
Situations like this piss me off so much. How can you do this to your own child??? Use them like this and mess up their future??? She's even go the nerve to say that she's helping her????
If your fiancee isn't going to hold mom accountable, start tracking her SS number & finances so that this doesn't happen again then DONT MARRY HER. The family is gonna do what they do but she ain't a helpless victim, she can take control of HER LIFE
My husband was told several times to not marry me because I was too attached to my mom. Thankfully he waited for me and helped me break the ties so we could have a healthy relationship. I definitely agree he should hold off on the wedding until they work through this. It's their make or break story, I feel.
Woman needs to call the cc company, report the account as fraud and have them investigate it internally. They will probaby want a police report filed. And maybe freeze her cc report so mom can't do this for the forseeable future.
These are the type of financial calls I came to the Ramsey channel for.
My own parents are terrible with money. My mom tells me, I don't know where you learned about money and how you're so hard-core about it lol. I just laugh and tell her I can't sleep at night with debt hanging over my head like normal Americans
Johndu-mq.
Same with me. My entire family know two things about money and water… they both flow like Niagra Falls! I pay cash. My parents pay with credit. I save, they splurge. I consider a purchase, they can’t remember what they bought five minutes ago (yes, I have literally seen this!). In all things I am almost the exact opposite of my entire family. I drive reliable quality cars forever. My dad one day came home with a truck. No reason. Out-of-the-blue he just came home with an expensive new pickup. I guess that behavior just always drove me nuts, but that’s just normal American behavior which, by the way is anything but normal.
Imagine going behind you’re own flesh and bloods back, opening a card not paying it off every month and racking up credit card debt that’s insane
I say this often on here, this guy is so screwed. No marriage until this is resolved needs to be the answer.
No marriage to her, period. Once he marries her, her mother and family will be spending his money as fast as they can. The pressure on her will be out the roof.
And he needs a prenup.
One of my friends got into serious depression as her husband refused to stand up to his dysfunctional family with unreasonable requests and attitude. None of the issues is around money, but it doesn’t lessen the emotional pain.
It’s heartbreaking to cancel the engagement or relationship now, but honestly it will be a lot better and 5-10 years after looking back you will be so glad you made that choice.
10 years, a house, two kids, and he's being dragged through divorce court because his MIL hasn't shut up about how much of a P.O.S. he is.
The fiance is not confrontational. He's not married to her. He doesn't owe her anything. I guarantee you she knew about it.
Exactly especially living under the same roof.
Ditch the child let her be a mum as girl with her daughter .. do better find better
In addition to the recommendations made about closing the account, I would suggest maybe a “credit freeze” so that all credit applications are halted for his fiancé, just in case mommy in law gets itchy for the plastic.
BTW this happens more than you think.
My ex wife did this to my three daughters (WITHOUT their knowledge or permission). They had to file police reports in order to get them taken off of their credit reports. Ex Wife thought she was being slick. Had to pay off everything or else she would have been sent to prison. She tried HARD to guilt trip the kids... Good thing my kids stood up for themselves.
Mind you this first came out when my oldest was applying for a home loan and got turned down because of those unpaid credit cards. Then i told the other two to run their credit scores and lo and behold.
I grew up in a poor neighborhood - every bodies credit was basically ruined before they got out of school. Mom, Dad, Grandma and Grandpa would have their light bills and gas bills in their kids names. horrific financial abuse.
@@leborhal7450 Yep I have heard of this happening more than a few times. The parents worry about THEIR credit and are willing to trash their kids credit.
Don't marry into this mess.
I was very lucky my wife grew up with parents that followed the baby steps and encouraged her to. I got into college debt before I found financial peace and I killed half the debt before the wedding and the rest within 6 months. My wife and I celebrated being debt free with her parents. It was honestly one of the best feelings in the world and made me feel like I could handle the adult world if I pay attention to my finances (I was 21 at the time)
crazy how they live that life on a credit card
that’s awesome 😊
The fiancee' needs to put a freeze on her information with all 3 credit reporting agencies.
Yeah I'd hold off the wedding until this gets sorted. Unless she stands up to her mom this is kinda a red flag for the caller. Not only with his fiancee but also her mom might try to convince her daughter to divorce him.
Not even to mention it's 19 thousand dollars. It's not like it's 1 or 2 grand
You can’t enter this family if the daughter is just going to take this.
Run dude this is a blessing you found this. She probably already knew about the card and what was happening its why she is so lax about situation.
I'm with Rachel- either the mother needs to pay this off or transfer the balance to a different card & close this one out or I would run for the hills as some day she may get his Social security number & get a line of credit out on him!!! 🏃🏻♂😂
First, your fiancé needs to send Mom in law to jail. There is no excuse for being deceptive (and illegal) is to take out credit in somebody else’s name. What a lowlife.
Second- consider between you and your fiancé whether should interact with your in laws period. You should NEVER trust these folks.
While I doubt she will get prosecuted for fraud, the card and balance have to go.
Sounds like an authorized user situation
That being said, as long as her daughter is being honest and didn’t sign off on the credit card and is lying about it….
I personally wouldn’t hesitate to press charges against someone that didn’t this to me, even if they were “family”…
@@eniak00 can’t cuz I’m sure she was added as an authorized user
Are you a bot
He needs to convince his fiance that she is the victim of crime.
I say prenup. I don't care for Dave and the crew think.
She needs to lock her credit with all three credit bureaus that way her mother can’t repeat this. I would tell the mom you can take a loan out and pay the card or we have to file a fraud claim and you will end up in jail. But the fiancé has to be on your side or this can be a terrible marriage with resentment and very awkward family gatherings. You might be dodging a bullet here since you get to test the relationship and are finding out who the family is and that they may reach out to you for money in the future.
BRO ITS NEVER GOING TO GET BETTER!!!
This guy should end the engagement. This crap will never end. And he will be on the hook.
And listening more ... don't marry this girl. She's not ready if she's still living with her parents and having them manage her money. She's not an adult yet. Take that from someone who married someone just like that and had it fail in spectacular fashion years later.
Yea 3 years goes by and she’ll wonder what party life and orgies are like then it’s all over when Tyrone is balls deep
This guy really REALLY needs to think about this potential of even getting married. If she isnt going to stand up for you what are you doing? This is nuts! You dont just get married to the wife you also marry into the family especially if she will not stand up for you. I would not do it. NOPE! marriage has enough issues let alone this right in the beginning.
A friend of mine found out his mom went into huge cc debt in his name! This is a thing that parents apparently do a lot and it’s really awful.
His mother in law should be in jail. That's fraud. Out and out fraud. And there's no excuse here. It's $19k that's "outstanding". That's not "building a credit rating", it's theft.
The poor fellow is marrying into a family whose matriarch is a criminal. I wouldn't be going and looking at venues in which to hold a wedding, I'd be looking at one bedroom apartments, in another town.
@@Austenfan177sounds more like an authorized user situation
I'd walk real quick. Get out
@@Austenfan177 do you kno how hard it is to get a credit card with a high limit like that? It’s pretty hard and almost impossible for someone to get with no credit history and limited income if she was in college, so in order to get a limit like that, the mom had to have added her to one of her existing cards with a high balance and a decent credit history to help build up her daughters credit and being which she’s an authorized user. Everything on that card will show up under her name
@@Austenfan177 parents do this all the time to give their kids credit history on a card with a high limit. We recently just did the same thing with my 16 yr old daughter, it’s just unfortunate that the card has a 19k balance
@@Austenfan177 as a authorized user. Anything that happens with that card will show up on her credit
Don’t get married to that woman. You don’t want that drama in your life. Why do you want a woman who can’t even take care of herself without you telling her what to do and who isn’t strong enough to deal with her idiot mother.
Red flag. Time for a new fiancé
I REALLY want to hear a follow-up on this one. The guy has such good intentions and hopefully the girl is mature enough to stand up to her mother. Hopefully it can be fixed before the wedding.
Me too. I want to hear what happens to this one.
It's best not to marry her.
1) Close the account immediately. 2) Fiance tells mother to make it right or transfer out of her name within 1 week. The demand is not open for discussion or negotiation. 3) If mother refuses, file a police report. If fiance refuses, have serious thought about the future of the relationship. She is a big girl now and she needs to handle her own life and not tolerate people stealing from her. If fiance can't stand up to this then this will only be the beginning of your troubles with her family.
That's what I would do.
He sounds like a very financially responsible young man. I hope he brings that level of responsibility to putting a hold on this engagement. If his girlfriend does not grow up and stand on her own 2 feet then this relationship is doomed before it really leaves the ground. Once you cross that line, that debt becomes half yours and all your hard work you’ve accomplished goes right down the drain. Think think think before your make one more relationship step.
Daughter needs to file charges for fraud and identity theft
Before anyone gets married today, run a credit and criminal background check on your potential spouse.
The daughter needs to handle this with her mother.
and find a new stupid fiancee.
This nice guy is stepping into a very weird family, and that gonna be the first and easier problem of many
Put mom in jail, stealing your child's identity for a credit card, so I can have a vacation. Lol
I feel like this is the mom's attempt to keep control over her daughter. Parents that put bills in their kids name in order to help them build a credit score usually tell the kids what they are doing. This combined with the fact that the caller said that the mom basically likes to run things says a lot. Unless the caller wants to endure years of constant drama with the mom I would tell him to back out now and end things. When ppl show you who they are you have to believe them.
RUN!!!! Count your blessings that you’ve discovered this. You won’t convince them otherwise, and your fiancée has been conditioned by this. High likelihood you won’t change her pattern. This family will drain you, and will spit you out when they’ve taken everything. RUN. There are other fish in the sea. Also, you’re probably better off being single these days. RUN.
Yep the mother in law needs to go to jail. 👊🔥
Something Rachel and Ken did not immediately alert to was this was daughters card. How many MORE family members cards are there? If fiancée has brother's and sisters, they should have family 'come-to-Jesus' moment with all their credit reports. My guess is that mom has done this before. They may have no choice but to call an attorney and get a plea deal worked out so the debts are not hanging on the kids and mom takes responsibility for it all.
That mother is a manipulative gaslighter. I don’t even understand gaslighting, and even I can see it. She did the guy a favor by fraudulently getting a card in her daughter’s name and running up $19K on it for family vacations?
fantastic movie! must see. and you will understand what "gaslighting" is
Happened to a friend of mine.
Even though she said it wasn't hers they wouldn't do anything about it. It was out and out fraud. He was miserable fraud, a con. The man could drip sincerity like honey pouring out of a jar.
One of the reasons I never got married was I didn't let romance cloud my vision. I looked at the person and I couldn't live with that.
I'm not the kind of person who has to have a relationship even if it's bad.
Run.
He needs to put the marriage on hold until this is resolved. Sounds like a very dodgy family he is getting involved with. What kind of mother would do that? I would be very suspicious about anything either the mother or daughter says. Actually, I would run a mile away from them both, before he gets any more embroiled with them. They are trouble waiting to happen.
My other concern is what's the mother-in-law going to do if she gets the guy's information his social security number and whatnot?
Run, run as quickly as possible.
As someone that feels married for the longest, this would be a deal breaker for me with this family. I'd just walk unless this couple discharges the debt in the mothers name, elopes and absconds from the country. There goes your future relationship with this family. Imagine the mother is already reneging on this guy, making him feel weak and helpless and demeaning him to a simpleton. I'd break it off dude if I were you, listen to a man with many years experience with in laws and marital scenarios. Plenty of time to start over. The fiance is weak and mom has infiltrated and ruled her life and she has no backbone. The book boundaries is excellent but it won't fix the issue especially with old school people stuck in their old and controlling thinking. Get out dude I'm telling you. The mother is already a criminal and she thinks your an idiot and just needs to nod to her husband with a spineless yes dear, whatever you say response. I for a world of hurt if common sense is stamped on over being in love. Wonder how many other things there hiding from you.
Unreal. I'm no genius but I know that holding a balance of $19k does not do anyone any favors. Wishing the best of luck to the couple
The fiance needs to cancel the card and file a police report.
The mom doesn't think he's bad with money. She knows she's bad with money, but needs to justify herself by calling him an idiot.
If the fiance can't get her mom to take on the balance, don't marry the girl
Along with others, turn and run fast. It will end in divorce since your fiance allowed her identity to be stolen. You should never allow this. It will ruin you.
Kudos to the young man for being debt-free 🔥
I would highly advise to not go through with the wedding and possibly give an ultimatum if the girl doesn’t charge her mom with fraud.
This is why it is imperative you're careful who you marry and reproduce with. Not only are you marrying your spouse, but the entire community of friends and family that her been around that person. It'll be the absolute coldest day in hell.
Classic Freud: Devouring Mother
The girl is the one that should have confronted her mom, not him. The girl needs to put up a nice strong boundary right now, before they get married. Or this will be a constant fight for the rest of their married life.
This is fraud. Nothing less. Give her a chance to pay it off immidiatly, if she starts to argue call the cops. If fiance starts to argue, leave her.
I have learned, fairly recently (most from watching Caleb Hammer), that this is depressingly common for parents to do. They know the kids probably won’t do anything about it because doing so would require them to submit a police report that would land a parent in jail.
MIL is an abusive monster. You simply can’t marry the girl if she’s not going to stand up to this and end it. Unfortunately she’s been subjected to a lifetime of this abuse, so it may take some time.
I'm not buying it...the daughter knew all about the credit card(s) and is now "surprised" that fiancée learned about it and has called her out on it... this guy needs to run away as fast as possible..
That is when your fiancé needs to tell her mom. You have 30 days to pay off the card and close it otherwise I am reporting it as identity theft.
So there's the difference between opening up a credit card under your child's name and piggybacking your child to your credit card. One is illegal and one is not
Making your kid an authorized user on a credit card is a really good idea only if you can actually either pay off the balance each month or just don’t use the card.
When I got my first CC my credit score was a 640, which is standard starting out. I found out my dad added me as a user 8 years prior with 100% payment history. After that was updated to the bureaus, my score went up to 740. Even today I can’t really get my score above 770 with the app telling me that I don’t have a long enough payment history.
We added our kids at age 16 as a convenience. They could pay school fees without me having to take off from work. The school could never tell us the amount so a check was not possible and they didn’t take cash. We pay off every month. When our oldest turned 18 she pulled her credit score after six months. It was in the high 700s. By age 20 it was in the 800 s. We have no debt except using a credit card as a charge card and froze our credit a decade ago. I have no idea what our numbers are but based on our kids scores they must be pretty good. I thought that since the mortgage was paid off 12 years ago they would have dropped but maybe not.
Take a step back and look at the bigger picture: If anyone else took out a credit card in your name and racked up $19,000, you would absolutely file a police report and pursue prosecution. Absolutely do not let a mother in law manipulate you like that! If she wanted to take out that credit card, why do it under her unknowing daughter’s name?! It’s completely criminal behavior!!
Do you guys not kno what a authorized user is?
@@reese85 Where anywhere in this call did he say that his wife was aware of the card being taken out in her name? “Authorized user” does not apply here when this woman had no idea her family took out this card in her name.
@@jill9606 the person doesn’t need to be aware of it, you just add them if you have their info
@@reese85omg I hope no one opens an account with you on it as an “authorized user” that you weren’t aware of it for thousands of dollars.
@@candy2325 parents do this all the time. I did just did with my 16 yr daughter
Wow! Love this guy.. what a catch! Seems really pit together & love how respectful he is. Also how he speaks about his wife to be !🙏🏽
FRAUD committed by her mother. She needs to report her if her mother does not transfer it to her mother's name. Also..red flags on her family..Maybe walk..
Lol Obviously the mom is just a con man. She knows she’s not helping her daughter. She just is willing to damage her credit if that means she can go on extra vacations
DANGER DANGER DANGER!!! (If you heard that in the Robby the Robot voice, you likely need a colon screening.) Fiancée needs to confront mom, get account closed or it is a deal breaker. She cannot come back and tell you, "Oh she's going to make payments." The emotional toll of it being out there will doom your relationship because he won't feel devoted to.
19K on a credit card is not building credit, it's crazy debt.
What a piece of work. She stole from her daughter and presumes to preach financial advice? It is almost guaranteed that this "mother" will seek to leech off of them.
If the MIL-to-be does this now, how many more times is she going to do that over the course of the relationship. That account needs to be closed immediately, and a police report needs to be filed against her. This is totally “bonkers”!