I Think I Should Leave My Wife, But Can't
Вставка
- Опубліковано 27 сер 2024
- 💵 Create Your Free Budget! Sign up for EveryDollar ⮕ ter.li/6h2c45
📱Download the Ramsey Network App ⮕ ter.li/ajeshj
🛒 Visit The Ramsey Store ⮕ ter.li/7vyom2
📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 weekdays from 2-5 pm ET or send us a message ter.li/n88ly5
Explore More Shows from Ramsey Network:
🎙️ The Ramsey Show ⮕ ter.li/ng9950
🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour ⮕ ter.li/9gcp3d
🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show ⮕ ter.li/2u3mc0
💰 George Kamel ⮕ ter.li/1elws8
💡 The Rachel Cruze Show ⮕ ter.li/n2u6jc
💼 The Ken Coleman Show - Highlights ⮕ ter.li/1rbjr2
📈 EntreLeadership ⮕ ter.li/ktxv2k
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolu...
She’s entitled, the audacity of her to threaten divorce when she and her son can’t afford to live on their own... she’s only using him for a place. He needs to leave ASAP.
Your absolutely correct. Now she is going to have half his sht and income. He is screwed.
It’s his fault to settle with a single mother. I don’t mess with such a woman, ain’t taking care of another man’s child unless the father is deceased. He wasn’t there when he was enjoying that cookie. He needs to run.
Let's hope he doesn't have to pay alimony. Hope he just walks away
@@mattmasteringer4399 What a sweeping genre and old fashioned judgement. Not all single parents are the same as this women. Women of age can take advantage of a man, single or not. Men do the same of women, in other ways. The majority of single women are responsible, even if this one isn’t.
she wants half thats why.
“I Didn’t find out how bad her financial situation was until we were married…. “ dude that was a costly mistake.
Is it his mistake if she didn't share that information?
I made the same mistake.
Yes it’s his mistake for not digging into this prior to marriage.
Run dude. Never look back. Trust me. A single mom tried to destroy me a long time ago. Fortunately I ran away and saved my own life.
Same here!! They are like kryptonite to the single man.
Same. Glad i did it
Exactly
Why do men get trapped like this.. crazy
@@ambert5302 Sex and charm. In the beginning at least.
Whatever you do, DO NOT GET HER PREGNANT!!
Actually, stop sexual contact...
👍🏻
She can get pregnant by other men and he's on the dough. That's 40 percent of his pay.
"she went through a really ugly custody issue", major red flag right there. He baby-sat her through that and now he's her patsy.
@@BF-sb5zs No, a simp would still be talking her up. He's a chump.
The husband is an annuity to her. The stepson is an annuity to her. That’s it. That’s why there is a “custody issue.”
Yup
He’s being used
Ugly custody battle for woman meant she lost custody or she wasn't that fit
He's paying all the bills and she's threatening divorce? That's nuts. Her inability to support herself is her problem.
Counting on spousal support and possibly child support. He better leave now - it’s only four years in. Love is not enough - compartibility I’d beyond attraction.
She drifts though life seeing kids and spouses as convertible annuities. (Child support and alimony). Not all women are wired like this but many women are and you can’t change that. The relationship is transactional that way. Forget the therapist,..,he needs an attorney. A strategic thing he CAN do is cut off the money flow so she can’t fund her attorney. Force her to settle quickly.
And he is supporting her son.
@@rosebush7000 He's not on the hook for child support when the kid isn't his. But yeah ... leave now and leave her with half their debt.
My ex-wife was like that. Women like that like to bite the hand which feeds. Now I'm debt free and she's up to her eyeballs in it.
he doesnt need a pastor.....he needs a good lawyer
Yeah, Jesus ain't going to court for him 👍
Seriously
Hopefully men wake up and stop looking at single moms for an easy lay.
He needs both.
@ih8leftistfilthThis
Threatening a divorce when you know damn well you can’t pay all the bills on your own, sounds crazy to me 😂😂😂. 😊
Jody already got sidekick.
Insane
Yeah, modern empowered woman right there....
Crazy / stupid people don't think long-term. My ex-wife was going to be broke without me and all she could focus on during the divorce was "I'll be fine because I'm going to take half your stuff". Took no more than 6 months post-divorce for her to be underwater on everything she owned. Didn't matter, wasn't in the "thought box" unti the day came.
@@thepracticalblade9013 if you are bad with money it doesn’t matter how much you are given, you will shortly run out!
I walked away from this exact same type of marriage. Nobody should let a broke and disrespectful woman stress them out. FILE for divorce ASAP!!!
🎯
God bless you!
Exactly
Especially when you and her don’t have any kids together.
@@larrybarbee4916 the guy needs some balls
Dude is a walking wallet to that woman. Time to bug out.
Mgtow
I think he's paying the 'stupid tax' that a wife isn't loyal or grateful just because you provide everything in her life and her child.
damn straight
The tattoo on his chest is "Bottomless ATM"
This is the definition why not to date or marry a mother of another man's child.
Her not being able to support herself and her son sounds like a "her" problem.
Concur. Marriage is an obsolete concept that has no place in contemporary society. Have the same girl/boyfriend for life, fine. EVERY day you wake up you make a choice to WANT to be together, not the law saying you HAVE to be together. WTH kind of phucked up system is that? Anyone thinking marriage is "good" is either a gold digger (male or female) or an insecure SIMP (male or female).
This guy went full simp and tried to be her savior. This is why you never try to save a single mom (unless a widow or legally proven cases of domestic issues). He better hope she doesn’t come after him for half of the cash and prizes
Even the domestic violence is complete BS. They are always the victim!!!!
If she's seen domestic abuse, there's a good chance she'll be violent or try to push you to be violent as well. It's dangerous to date those women.
@@beatdown3361 it’s statistically proven that over 33% of domestic abuse allegations against men are false. I’m sure there are more that are false but not proven.
@@Excalibur2 truest comment right here. Take notes fellas
Yup. Single moms are poison.
He never should have rescued her in the first place. She’s extremely entitled.
exactly what I was thinking. This dude is probably average looking and may consider himself to be a loser and he saw a gorgeous woman on vacation who was going through a divorce and he thought he would simp and "save" her. Turns out she was divorced for a reason and now his life is going to suck
She’s literally using him 🤦🏽♀️ he needs to stop trying to be a “good Christian man” and choose himself being a Christian doesn’t mean you have to be a stepping stone or a punching bag
This guy needs to talk to an ATTORNEY!!! Divorcing this one is going to be a ROUGH ride for this guy! Especially financially.
Came here to say this! Sure, go to counseling and all that, but definitely he needs a good lawyer.
He’s screwed. Hes gonna go through some pain
Idk about Virginia but some states he’s on the hook for child support as well for a child that isn’t even his.
Single mother challenges, child's father bounced for a reason, in came the nice who is about to pay dearly.
@@MattyLight30"F" that 🙄
Wait I’m confused. If SHE threatens divorce, why isn’t HE taking her up on the offer? Only answer i can think of is that he’s a good man and doesn’t want to leave her and the kid, but dude, you gotta do you boo.
She might end up with half of his stuff
@@alluringbliss4165 so be it
@@alluringbliss4165 Hmmm, that’s no reason to stay in a marriage. I’d rather be broke, start over and be happy. He sounds young enough to do so, but even if he were older, do it for your sanity. Nothing is worth living with misery.
@@kcc3985 I agree, it takes an emotional toll overtime.
He does want to leave, but he doesn't want to leave her with no apartment as she cannot afford to rent one. He doesn't need a therapist, he needs a good lawyer.
He needs to get out ASAP.
Guaranteed she’ll find another sucker once he leaves. Dude, she’ll be fine, she catfished you during the dating phase, she’ll find another man to manipulate into being with her. You have a good heart but it’s crossing over into enabling
She probably already has one on deck.
This fellow is trying to be a good christian man. That's foolish! Someone else decides what is a good christian man. He should focus on being good at being a man. He'll be much more content.
You are a good man. Unfortunately, the person who compels you to not boot her is the reason why she's checked out with you. She thinks you're a loser and doesn't respect you. GET RID OF HER.
My motto in life. You can't help people that don't wan to help themselves.
This is one of the last places to call for these types of issues. Dude needs to bounce ASAP.
Run as fast as he can...adios
hit it one last time then bounce lol
@@maxlasaternot worth the risk
@@maxlasaterNah she'll poke a hole in the rubber to get knocked up, oldest skank trick in the book
Save yourself some time and money, and just leave. She played you, just like she played her ex husband.
But it was his fault, he shouldn’t have settled with a single mother in the first place. He is a high value man, why did he settle with a woman with a lot miles on her. He is a travel nurse and I’m sure he has a lot options of woman he can choose.
@@mattmasteringer4399 but she's hawt dude :)
This is why you run a credit report if you are going to marry someone, see if they owe IRS or back child support. If they do give them a year to fix it or marriage is off....and no living together either...end it completely
Poor guy, I’m sure his job is stressful enough, and on top of it, he’s feeling stuck with this leech of a woman. There’s only so much he can do.
He better run before he has a child with her.
He needs a good lawyer
For all men out there, this story should be a lesson to all of you. She found someone to raise another man's child and pay for her bills.she is the same type of person who goes out with her friends and talks all kinds of nasty shit about her husband as he is the worst human being out there and who would also cheat on him claiming he was never around. As a self respecting man, don't ever ever put yourself in this position. Her financial stupidity and HER child should not be your worry. I will never understand guys like this. He sounds like a decent guy who is being emotionally and financially taken for granted.
I feel sad for the 12-year-old. Poor kid is screwed no matter what the caller and Princess MoneyPit ultimately do.
Princess money pit😂.
He knows it's done. I get that he feels bad about leaving what he has invested so much emotionally into. But it's done.
Ya man up and move on. Lets go!!💪
Yeah I got that impression to he knows it’s over but he’s invested so much she doesn’t want to cash out
He probably in love or thinking with the wrong head
Also difficult to leave when you know that doing so is going to also harm her child as well if she can’t support him. Tough all around
Because it sounds like leaving appears like it’s dumping her and the kid on the street if she can’t get an apartment. But with how manipulative she sounds I think she’d just find another supporter honestly.
That's why you avoid single women with kids. You'll most probably end up in a situation like this guy
It sounds like he doesn’t wanna leave the kid with a wreck of a mom. He’s got a good heart, but none of this is his problem. Her lack of ambition is not his issue. This guy will find the gem of a woman when it’s time. What a great guy.
Great guy, Yes. But was he blind to her character flaws or refused to acknowledge them? I’d like to know the type of women he is attracted to, and why? He might be attracted to “damsels in distress”. He might need to rescue women to feel important. To feel fulfilled. I’m just guessing. But it seems she had her issues b4 they met. Would be nice to know why her 1st marriage broke up.
@@Dividendflywheel I see what you’re saying. He said after they started dating she went through a nasty custody battle; that makes me thinks she was good & hiding how bad she was with money & it all came out when they got married which is terrible. I don’t think he’s attracted to them, but I do think he doesn’t wanna leave this kid on the street with his mess mom & this kind of thing is what breeds guys to continue to do that. Losing control
That kid not his issue . If they don't have kids he probably should go .
@@truebengalsfan nobody said it was, but he has a heart & doesn’t wanna leave the kid with a mess of a mom. It’s not his problem but it is commendable; he’s a great guy
An accountant without accountability….. the irony
Spot-on!
An account that’s bad with money… It’s like having an obese Nutritionist/Personal Trainer.
She used her accounting skills to size up this man as her victim. Dumb like a fox.
@@9StickNate Fat people make great nutritionists, just like great landscapers have messy lawns. They spend so much time taking care of others that they can't take care of themselves. It doesn't mean they're bad at their job.
femininity avoids it even when it has a degree in it.
an accountant who can't manage her own finances. Terrifying.
This is why you don’t marry a woman with a kid. Major baggage.😂
She is a baggage without the child.
So true. Its scary
Unless she has proven she can live on her own for a while and has morals
Raising my own kids has been hard enough. I don't think I have the capacity to raise another man's kids.
I married a woman without kids, but i feel like this dude as i pay most of the bills while she continues racking up debt. Sure i could get a divorce but with a son and cost of living i would be in a worse situation as i essentially pay her rent and mine.
Sounds like she knew exactly what she was doing when she met him. He needs to leave. She's been drowning BEFORE she met him and she's dragging him down with her. That's not right. Leave and leave now.
Poor gump got played. This is why you don’t date or marry single mothers
This guy needs to learn about the FREE AGENT LIFESTYLE.
Brothers, let’s have a moment of silence for this lost brother.
😂😂😂😂
Coach gang
🫡😔(TAPS plays in the background 🎺)
He needs to go to junior college. 😂
@@knowthyself8233 Bringem Young University lol
@@Allergic2broke with a fist full of twenties 😂🤣🤣
Damn. I really feel for this guy. She is not doing anything on her end to fix and heal this marriage. She’s using and manipulating him. He deserves so much more! You can love her from afar, but love yourself more! Cause she isn’t deserving of him.
It really sounds to me like he walked right into this one
Wow, this poor guy stepped in a bear trap 😑
She struggles with discipline. Her team is her and her son.
It's why her ExHusband divorced her....
I doubt her team includes her son unless he's a tool or pawn.
A perfect example not to date a single mom
Dating and marrying a single mom has A LOT of challenges. I can understand your decision. But I will not put all single mom’s into the financially irresponsible category.
Not all, but most. There are different types of single moms. A widow is very different than a single mom who got knocked up from a guy she met at the club.
But generally speaking, single moms are a very poor choice.
@@ilacallya324great answer!! Single mum here who raised 4 amazing children…..2 of whom are now millionaires 😂❤
The amount of times I said “Bruh 😒” in my head during this call lol
This bruh is a Cuck, if she were to move another dude in, he still wouldn't kick her out
Leave her to fend for herself. He’s worried about leaving them high and dry, when she doesn’t give a f*** about him
He can leave. She will have to figure it out. Does her son have a father? If so he needs to pay child support. I would jump ship before she drags him down.
Legally he is stuck with her son now
The Father is some Chad or Tyrone who is probably in the clink… she settled for a nice guy…a walking wallet…
@@hiteshadhikari not unless he adopted him. Did he say that he did? I didn’t hear that.
@@wenchyfoodwench4098 nope, he married her and if she has sole custody, he will be liable for her son, esp because she now seems to be unemployed etc
She needs to give the son to the father!!!
If being a “a good Christian man” requires that I have a life like this guy, im glad im not
“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.”
Romans 8:18 NLT
Sometimes that is what life is. Remember as believers we are to be set apart from the world. He can’t think like the world thinks and just run. He probably takes his commitment seriously because he made a vow in front of God. He just has to trust God to see him through this season. God has a funny way of working things out. His wife could do a 180 when God is finish with her. Everyone has their season of challenges they have to go through..
Something Christian have to do is stop listening to the world and start listening to God.
Far from it, there is nothing in the bible about living this way. Read Matthew Ch. 5, especially the part where Jesus talks about what it means to divorce and be with someone else, and you'll see what I mean. Part of me thinks you are developing a strawman of Christianity to make it seem like it lacks common sense and that you're smarter than it, but this guy made a mistake to do this. Him saying that he's "trying to be a good man" is just a justification for it
Depends if she’s a Christian or not as well. If a non-believer wants to leave, then the divorce is permissible.
Read Boundaries. Being good doesn't mean being weak.
@@nataliepope3286I agree. But while praying for God's intercession, he must safeguard his emotional and financial well-being. If the wife comes around transformed for the better, then she is part of God's plan for him, and he for her. I trust he would grow wiser in the process. He seems to be an outstanding man. But there is always room for improvement.
Choose _very_ carefully your spouse. Experience aside, as Dave says, be in agreement on 1) Kids 2) Money 3)Religion 4) Other family. As I've heard Deloney say, "Choose guilt over resentment".
Dude desperately needs to bail out YESTERDAY.
Not so easy being married with a step kid.
@@dahbajanman7044 When I married my beloved late wife, I also became the step-dad of her 12 year old son. Was DAMN difficult, but ultimately well worth it. He was the "teenager from Hell", but matured to be a kind, smart, successful family man. He credits me (his bio-dad is a nice guy, but little involved). Though she's passed on (6 years now) I still am blessed to have a son, daughter-in-law, and 2 wonderful grandkids.
Not your kid, not your problem. This guy is clearly a hussler, she clearly isn't, so open a new account, have your wages deposited in that account, and then step back to the negotiation table. SHE is dependant on HIM, not the other way around. She needs to pipe down and understand the truth of her situation.
This guy seriously screwed up, marrying the wrong person can ruin your life....
She has been bailed out of every bad situation in her life. She doesn't know how to take accountability.
The dumbest move in life is for a single man with no children to get involved with a single mother.
Good job Rachel, sticking to money advice.
Never marry a person that has kids under 18 with someone else
people with kids 18 and over as well---the drama doesn't end at 18yr
plus a lot of grandparents have to take care of their grandchildren d/t neglectful stupid parents
Don’t marry anyone with kids period if you don’t have kids.
This is why 'Premarital Counseling' is always wise.
Sir, i was in a similar situation, however we were married 17 years. If i was to do it over again, i would have divorced her at the 4 year mark! Get out now so you won't have to pay alimony for the rest of your life. You have a Great career. You will recover from this!
2 words “single mom” enough said should have never tried it
Some weird fantasy of being a hero is preventing him from leaving, which he absolutely needs to do.
Josh RUN before she gets preggo. I wouldn’t be living there. I would give her 6 months to find a job & save money to move. Also, I would file for divorce NOW. 🤷🏾♀️🙏🏿✌🏿
Do you wanna fight for this marriage! He just said he feels like a prisoner WTF
He seems like a cuck dude that would tolerate worse 😂
Leave. It’s simple. Divorce
Captain Save-A-Hoe
Nailed it, bad custody battle and trying to be a good man? 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Lolz
Ramsey loves Captain SAH.
This what he gets for being the Cleanup Man.
Yup. Men need to wise up
Yeah hopefully some single dudes can learn from this and stay the heck away from single mothers.
My wife and I were on the same page about everything before we married. I knew what she owed and she knew what I owed. We got married a year after getting engaged, and then WE paid off the rest of what WE owed together.
They really didn't give him an immediate solution, I'd play her hand. Divorce you want, Divorce you'll get, have the papers put together and ready when you two are home and sign your part right in front of her. All you have to say is, "Thank God this is over!!", then watch her crumble, probably groveling too. I'm hoping the house they have is only in his name because he'll be able to tell her to pack her bags, regardless of whether or not she can stand on her own should not be his concern, he's much better off and just try and move forward.
She needs him more than he needs her. No way her threats will hold water.
Being a Christian and being a simp are two different things
He described one of my previous girlfriends to a T. Including the accountant, though mine was a "financial adviser". The day she told me to get out was pretty much the best day in our relationship.
Just left this situation a few months ago. No accident I’m here right now.
Her son is her responsibility. If you divorce that kids isn’t yours at all. Let her ex take care of her
Let her go! He is done! She lied about serious things. It’s over.
Men, stop trying to fill the role as a step-father for single moms. You will NEVER be the priority in the relationship, and you will NEVER have the authority as a real father over the kid. The mother will ALWAYS see you as an outsider and not a true part of HER family. The kid will NEVER see you as a real father. For the love of God, do not pick up the controller and play another man's saved game.
Dude's going to get taken to the cleaners. Dude needs to see a ruthless attorney, right effing now
Why is he responsible for her son? Where's the father?
She probably forced him out of the picture when this doormat came onboard.
Probably abandoned them but pays child support.
Guys need to avoid single moms. They want a helper and not a partner.
Stay away from single moms. You will end up supporting her kid, her ex, his parents and her boyfriend. And you will be hated by all of them. There is no upside.
At least she didn't threaten to accuse him of molesting her kid... yet
Just went through a similar split except the kids are mine. I have them 80% of the time. I left her the house, bought a farm house on 3 acres in the country for cheap, fully remodeled it myself and now we live there in a stress free, loving environment. Since then she's lost her house and I also have the family dog full time as well. After the dust settled she's the only thing missing and all problems are gone, do the math
Cut your losses and get out of that mess of a situation. Learn your lesson.
So.... your wife is used goods with a broken heart so she treats you like crap threatening divorce? leave her and her son on the curb...
His story was killing me 😫😫
Where is her son’s dad? Is he not supporting his child? I’m guessing she has full custody. If that’s the case and she can’t support herself and her son, the child needs to be with his dad. At least until she can figure things out.
This call is exactly why I'm terrified of marriage. Its just too risky for men.
I’m just glad that his soon to be ex stepson has a bio dad who wants him and can hopefully give him stability. It’s so very sad to say this, but the caller’s only duty to that kid is to make sure he’s safely at his bio dad’s house and out of his crazy mom’s hands
An accountant who can’t manage their own finances is not coming NEAR my money.
This is why the red pill movement is so important. This beta guy was white knighting for a single mother, which NEVER works and always ends in disaster. The red pill knowledge would make sure he avoided the single mom and the long distance relationship.
I wonder how long the caller knew the wife before they got married? You learn things when there’s a long engagement b
If they divorce, he’s screwed cos he will be stuck with alimony and child support. He better not leave her cos it will get ugly
No child support, it is not his son and he has no responsibility. They were only married for 4 years, spousal support shouldn't be too bad. e needs a lawyer, not a therapist
This is why a long period of engagement is worthwhile, or if not, date for a few years until you get to know the real person.
It's women like her that will destroy a good men then will say there's no good men out here. Just leave my brother.
I have a marriage problem(s). I think I'll call a radio show that addresses personal finance. 🙃
Stop stepping up for people that aren't your blood. She was looking for a meal ticket man
You didn't do your due dilligence. Why are you more worried about her finances than she is. Run!!!
I’m proud of this guy. He’s working a tough profession AND in school?! Amazing.
This is proof that marriage doesn’t have to hold you back, but it’s a shame he doesn’t have a better partner. Imagine if he had support at home?! He’d be unstoppable
ohh comeon World is better off without such simping men.
He's already unstoppable. Even with his terrible wife dragging him down. He needs to leave her and never look back.
Deloney would of found a way to blame him for this situation
This show is rough without Dave there. They basically let him ramble the whole time and gave no real advice.
"Be a good man and support her and her son" thats right mate. Your legacy means nothing and you will die with no children. She will be happily ever after. Single moms are awful, they want help and your money, not love.
Your done. Draw a line in the sand. Give an eviction notice. Hung up and get an attorney. I can’t help you. They can’t help today. Run. Run. Run.
The comedian Chris Rock said it best “ Do you know why divorce is so expensive ? ….. BECAUSE IT’S WORTH IT !!!!!! “
You as the non-bio dad are not required to "step-up" on her child. If you do not have children of your own, then stay away from single moms. Single moms are impulsive and lack accountability, thus how they became a single mom in the first place. The only exception would be a widow, but thats only 1% of single moms. Its OK to dump her. This is not your problem, and she is doing nothing to try and fix it herself. She is just dumping her own responsibilities on you. She is selfish and lazy and also appears to be a tyrant that is using her weapon of choice being the destructive process which is divorce court. Divorce court often hurts men more than women, but you are only 4 years into it. Cut your loses now before your losses become greater.
An accountant with a 500 credit score. I feel bad for her clients
He need not worry about her. Once they get in front of the judge, he will be ordered to pay alimony, probably the mortgage payment, and child support for his stepson. She will be fine. I worry about him…
Good thing he didnt call Dave or this would have been 100% his fault for not man'ing up and treating her like the princess she is.
Not all single moms are cut from the same cloth. I’m a single mom and raised my own kids til adulthood. I won’t settle for less. Now I hope to find someone like this poor guy. God bless his situation.
The child’s biological father is responsible for him. If this marriage ends, she’ll be able to care for herself and get help from her other ex with caring for her son. The caller’s financial obligations will be done.
Maybe alimony though? He makes good money as a nurse.
This is why I won't date single mums, happy for a bit of fun, but I'll tell them straight up. I'm honest with my intentions. Known too many guys in same situation
Don't risk getting a baby-momma with your bit of fun.