How to deal with friends or family members who ignore or avoid you
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- Опубліковано 25 сер 2024
- If you think they are manipulators, and show a pattern of giving people the cold shoulder, ignore them. Give them a big fake smile and act like they are not even bothering you. But don't make them the center of attention. That is what they want. Instead, smile and be polite, but avoid them! Now, if this is a person you really care about and doesn't normally act cold or distant, then you need to find out what is wrong and rectify the situation. Usually it is simply a communication problem.
Marie Dubuque is a life coach who loves to give advice on everything from dating dilemmas and tricky social situations to drama-filled friendships and romantic relationships gone south!
"Blood makes you related but LOYALTY makes you family." I refuse to waste my energy on anyone who serves no purpose in my life. Family or not💞
I'm getting this tattooed on me ! FACTS!
Yes 👍🏻
@@moramzi6527
Did you get the tattoo?
@Lindsay Beth
👊🏾
@@lalupita3984
👍🏽
I don't care if my family avoid me eternally, I realized they're missing out on a great person. ME!!
Yasss
If they mistreat you, it is not your fault. There is a God who loves you. Shalom to you.
💫
Exactly! take away what they don't appreciate.............YOU.
Exactly! At least somebody understands how I feel. And yeah I’m sure they are and it’s their loss but they’ll just see one day.
If you do something to better yourself and they stop talking to you,It's called jealousy!
You are right. Live for yourself.
yess I can relate to this sir
Completely happened to me from my roommate...
It's so ironic - If you are too much of a clone of your parents = they will hate that because they see too much of themselves in you (they mainly see all the things that they hate about themselves in you).
If you are a Loser - They definitely don't want anything to do with you.
If you are more successful than they were - you are showing them up. Not so much in my parents case, but with my siblings ~ the first time you refuse to give them a loan ie Free Money - You'll be demonized as the bad guy!
Jealousy cannot exist without desire
My golden rule
Treat people how you want to be treated. If they ignore me then I will ignore them, after a while if I see no purpose in the relationship I will delete your number. Family is supposed to be a source of support a place where your able to express yourself and your ideas for a better quality life. Today everyone is suffering and nobody support anyone. Family Today don't have empathy, towards another family member, you get treated better by a coworker, then a family member.
Preach
That's something I've noticed I get ignored by family for reason but when I bond with a coworker or someone that's not in my family that issue doesn't apply
Exactly
Agreed
Any sibling that ignores you or refuses to have anything to do with you over absolutely nothing is getting off on inflicting pain - it's done on purpose!!!! They know you care so they do it on purpose. It's diabolical - it's evil and anyone who acts like this is a psychopath - they have no feelings, no conscience, no morals.
Yeah I make an effort to at least say How are you via text during Covid-19 and I find that only a few people respond and those people beyond my parents are my cousin,a few aunts,one of my brothers' and some friends. If I send a message or 2 over a 6 month period and you don't get back to me I simply stop. Plain and simple.
That’s my sister to a t!!!
@@joymorris3004 mine too
It's sad....someone told my Sister she treats me ...", Indifferently' she said...."What does that mean?"
@@joymorris3004 same here
I don't care if my family members or my cousins ignore me cause I got myself 😐
👍👍👍👍👍👍
Ikr?!
My Mom side and Dad side act Funny as fuck
Them how you sapost to fuck??
You nailed it.
Family are your worst enemies! It's a (fact) Families of today act so fake and full of drama! This is my main reason i stay away and know God will replace good better people in my life! Families aren't your family anymore, But your worst enemies than your enemies!
"You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death." Luke 21:16
Sadly this is true, my family used to be friendly and happy but ever since the 2010s hit it fell apart and everyone hates me and ignores me.
Reese Daniel I hate my family
Mustang Marie1 You are not alone ✋
Mustang Marie1 I used to believe in God but my experiences dont really seem meaningful like a "God" is guiding me all I feel is emptyness and depression nothing even matters anymore there was this one time 10 years ago that I was happy and life had meaning but that changed when one of my Friends well I think she was left town that was the last time I saw her she was cute for a blonde.hell she probably forgot I even exist I cant stop thinking of her for some reason shes been in my head for months and its depressing cause it reminds me of my past when I was happy
I'm at the point where I am about to give up on my siblings
Christian Boy800 in the same boat here!
I can relate.
I feel you. Really sucks
@@laurenmcinnis998 that sounded really "genuine" Lauren...
@@godsuniqorn1043 ?
Some people just ignore you for no reason. I have had a couple of instances where for whatever reason, an individual or group of people ignore me for no reason. Either they do not find me interesting or heard some negative rumor about me, or something. I especially felt it post high school when all the people who I thought were friends suddenly stopped talking to me. Oh well, might as well just focus on people who I know genuinely like me.
This is 100 % true and you should never blame yourself either. If they want to be in your life they will make contact once in a while and if
Not they won't .
this. negative rummor. that's 90 percent of cases.
same here love.
I forgot I wrote this
My family has done that to me and I love giving them a dose of their own medicine and do it to them and I move on.
Revenge usually doesn't work for the better. It can cause your anger to increase and the problem build up.
Mine wouldn’t even care
Mine dosnt call back or txt back hurts me I diddnt do nothing to them back they do other stuff to upset me I don't kown what to do ?
I have a sister that has some mental problems but she never calls or texts me anymore. If I call her all she talks about u it s herself and I’m really getting tired of it
@@joymorris3004 Why do you say she has mental problems? Maybe she is suffering so all she can see is her own suffering and so that’s also all she can talk about, until the suffering comes to an end, which for some it may never. Give her support and emotional feedback and maybe she will return it.
All my cousins are really good friends and always hang around each other. They all ignore me and make it clear i'm not really loved. They just don't like me. Me ignoring them would not affect them at all. I don't have much in common with any of them. I'm not an airhead and I don't care about mindless events but I'll join just for the friendship but I get the feeling my presence makes them uncomfortable. They just don't love me.
SuperSam424 I know it's hard. You want to be close to family, but sometimes that's not possible. Often, you find friends that are so close that you consider them family. That will happen to you.
Marie Dubuque I don't know. I lost my past 4 best friends. I don't know what to do I don't want to die alone
My father in law ignores me even though I'm a kind hearted, loving guy with many skills. He isn't worth my time but it's difficult when he is there and dominates all conversations... every single time!! Him I do not get.
i have 4 cousins my age..they all have the same grandmother who is my great grandmother's sister...one day one of the cousins who was really close to me came for a sleepover and she told me all about how they said they hate me and i was selfish and a spoiled rich girl (cuz my grandpa was famous)...i called them and asked them to stop being fake , they apologised , my whole family know came to know this......this was a few years ago...but i showed them what a good heart is and didn't even ignore them....now we are the best 5 five friends ever ! even their parents hated me but I KILLED THEM WITH KINDNESS 😎
SuperSam424 OH MY GOD SAME!!!!
I learned that when a person forms an opinion about you that there’s nothing you can say or do to change it. Block them out of your mind all together and move on with your life and never let your guard down. It hurts to be shunned and be treated like you’re subhuman. You can forgive a person but don’t you ever forget how it felt being snubbed by them.
Thank you for confirming my gut feeling so I'll just move on and live my life with self respect and feeling no guilt for their choices of rejecting me for my choices.
Very sad, or maybe more correctly, very liberating. My incredible wife always says, if you have but one true friend in this world you are lucky indeed. I do! Thankfully it's her.
Very right about the use of ignoring to be used as a punishment . Really glad I watched this tonight. It is deffenently a way they use to manipulate. In a weird way I think they feel like they are more needed when being chashed or kinda sought after. I'm certainly guilty of giving these people too much power. They take advantage of my good nature and my want to find a solution. I don't think people who ignore want a solution they would rather blame and stay angry or hostile than actually face any kind of feelings. To me they are just scared to be honest. Amazing what fear does. I just think abandoning, and avoiding people is just a really hurtful and dishonest way of not dealing with hurt or problems. They lack courage to be honest or vulnerable..
Kris Spicer: It's not so much about "being needed" with these freaks. It's ARROGANCE, SMUG SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS and ENTITLEMENT and considering themselves ABOVE you. They actually see themselves as equal to or ABOVE God Himself. They are called Narcissists. Narcissists are (spiritual) offspring of Satan because they act just like him and they want everyone to kiss their ass, just like satan.
@@reesedaniel5835 Great analogy! You've really shed light in this darkness they create. Have you noticed they always need a crowd around them? You can even point out the 'ring leader', all deliberate!
Not really punishment but helping yourself putting your time and energy what helps.
Thank you Marie. I had let myself get sad this week but feel better thanks to you. If you looked in at me from the outside you would never know I had a brother. I never receive calls, how are you notes, cards, or gifts from him or his family. I have never heard the words thank you or I love you come from him. I only get texts on bad news and money requests from him. I gave him a text this week to just leave me alone unless he had something good to tell me and for him to realise I am not a bank. This advice you gave made me feel lighter inside and like I can breathe again.
Ricky, good for you. You handled this really well.
May I ask is he your only sibling? if you have others, does he do the same to them and does anyone even notice?
Hi Henry, he is my only brother (younger). All has been very quiet from that side since I told him I only wanted to hear good news and happy things from him and I no longer had any money...(for him). Has he noticed? I would say yes right now.
You did the right thing . You are no one’s door mat ❤️
Awesome advice! My mother recently passed away and one of my three sisters went totally awol. I've tried so hard to support her, but she seems determined to push everyone away. I never said or did anything wrong to her, but she (my own sister who I was raised with and shared a bedroom) totally ditched me and blocked all contact. It hurts like hell, but I'm starting to learn that even this is common amongst most families. There's always one person in your family who will act illogically and without reason. It sucks, but it's true....
It’s very true!
The key thing here is your mothers passing. Maybe this is her way of coping and she is very distressed.
I miss steave cash from talking kitty cat :(
@@vivdoolan6846 People often do this after a parent dies cause they aren't pretending anymore for the audience they performed for is GONE!
@@lorenheard2561yep the pressure is off, they only had a relationship with you for your moms sake.
People don't like them selves let alone others.
Genuine interest and concern of each other in person is rare unless it benefits someone.
The Internet and social media has created this me me attitude where everyone thinks there staring in there own 24/7 movie.
2012DVSONE so true
Scary but you might be right. Lots of unhappiness will come out if that self selfie indulgence.
The more they ignore me the less they exist.
I only ignore people or create distance when people cause me great anxiety and I don't know how to address them because I don't want to hurt them but I don't want to live a pattern either. People think it's because I don't care but it's due to having a past with bullying and abuse, it has left me confused by negative behavior in relationships that cause me to freeze and say and do nada.
If someone ever tells you to move on and forgive them and let go of the past then they are telling you right but if a family member says that what they done to you was in the past andit's not too late to connect again then that's when you say "the damage has been done and it's too late to fix it but I still love you, forgive you and you have to accept who I've become and if we get on different terms it's time to go because theres no way we can be close like we use too, they have broken that bond.
Raven's Child you’re not alone same here and my biggest bully is my controlling mother I would never speak to her as long as I live
it's fine to do this.
I can relate 100%
Same
I was such a happy soul, till I realized how horrible my entire life has been, starting since I can remember at 5yrs old
My daughter and I have been houseless for a few years now. My two adult children wouldn't lift a finger to help just a little and some of the friends I did tell, were verbally supportive but that's where it ended and a few even stopped speaking to me. In the past I let several of my friends stay at my home for free for a couple years and I was always there for my children. This has dramatically opened my eyes and made me realize sadly I have very few solid friends and no support from family. I will never trust these people ever again and will always have a grudge against them. I used to be so giving, but this situation has changed me and the way I see people.
People are so disappointing huh? When you need them, they vanish.
You are me, girl. Right now im exactly in this situation.
when my brother ignores me, i ignore him
It's still toxic and poisoning filled with ignorant hate
Thank you! Wow this video really hit a chord. I’ve cared for my whole family all my life only to be disposed of, they only care about themselves. Your advice is helpful. Bless you
Thank you so much!
Had to do this with my family. It took me a long time to get over, but my life is MUCH better for it.
The biggest Abusers Hide behind the word FAMILY (fact) When I removed it from my vocabulary I was able to deal with my aggressive tormentors with a more logical perspective ...I am now thriving and doing great ..good luck to everyone dealing with this major pandemic 🕊
I can’t believe how much this rings with me. My family is toxic like that. They treat me as if I don’t exist until they need me. I do everything for them no complaints, I never give them problems, and yet they blame me for things I don’t do. I never expect anything in return, but they always find something wrong when you try to do everything right. They are bullies and hypocrites that can’t grow up for themselves. It took me so long to realize how cruel and manipulative they are because they are family, and family should always be there for you, but it’s not true. People like that always want to be right, they want to be the center of attention, and are too lazy to do things for themselves. I’m done doing things for people like that. If they call me an asshole or say I’m annoying, it’s their loss, they just lost a valuable friend. If I’m not worth a minute of their time, then they aren’t worth any of mine. Your time and kindness is a prize, it’s a treasure, and people want it for themselves. My advice is to learn who it’s worth spending on.
When it’s been going on for over 25 years they will never change unless they need or want something from you.
when someone special ignore you for no reason at all, it hurts, really hurts, i can fell the pain every time i think about them, why would they that for someone would do any thing for them?
this video describes my family to a freaking t! I can talk and talk to them but THEY DON'T LISTEN!!! I gave up talking to them all together and they haven't even noticed!!! its like I'm invisible and I hate it, why am I apart of a family who doesn't want me???
+Emily Caskie Same here ....my mum never listens to what I tell her ....wish we can divorce our family !
soneelita just move out and have a close friends as family, make your own happy!
Same. At least I feel better knowing I'm not the only one who feels like this. ((())))
Same boat here. So annoyed that my family feels better estranged when they put in no effort whatsoever to be part of my life, and never have.
Emily that means you must have something special god have for you to do! ( If you believe in god).. if god send you a good true friend...that will help you feel better! I think a lot of family members is the
Reason why some people commit suicide! Look up some
Videos about why god put us in the family we have! But it don't mean we have to stay their! Or put up with them! Love them! And keep it moving!
We have family like this.
Sometimes we contact them and let them know how hurtful it is when we’re not invited or excluded. Easy to spot with social media.
Man, social media tells all. I want to block them all for my own sanity but don’t want ruffle feathers
I've been ignored by my only sister for 14 years and counting now she could not care if I was dead or alive.She's my only sister and I'm her only brother.
i feel ya bro !
Join the club, mine are the same, its their loss.x
the world most bad and cruel poisonous creature is human they are so evil better you live with animals you know animals will be grateful for just if you give them onetime foods and affection they will support you always this is wonderfull creatures .
so sad bro
It's better like this, imagine if your sister ignores you and only comes to you when she needs something like an opportunist... Then when she has fun or she hangs out you don't exist and she never invites you or she's ashamed to be around with you. But it's okay, I will do my own thing. Sometimes I cry but I have to understand she doesn't care about me so I don't have to care about her! It's her loss if she ignores you trust me :) show you can live the best life without her...💖
big big smile....not so easy at times...but will try.
They aren't worth the time....they are not mentally healthy.... and not at our level.
This makes me realize I have more manipulators than friends and family.
If people don't value my friendship or companionship theirs is worth even less to me.
Sometimes family members are not mentally stable..and you just have to find a way to save yourself from unreasonable people...
I feel this way all the time.
Like, Ive always been quiet & introvert throughout my whole life.
It's just hard to get in or catch up with my friends who're much more outgoing n talkative than I am.
They always bail me out. I feel so left out. It's alright if they don't need me, but they could at least take the initiative to tell me instead of ignoring.. It hurts.
Either that I have social issues.
Me too.
+olyvia33 Hey :-) I feel you. It does hurt when people won't even half enough guts to be honest or say why they are upset about or why they ignore. I just had another person do this recently.Sometimes I think it''s something wrong with me or I have some social flaw also . I think it's my honesty they don't like a lot of the time. I think a lot of people that run and avoid are afraid to hurt someone by telling the truth so they just run away. The thing they don't realize is that kind of avoidance just hurts people more. IRejection does hurt a lot. We are social beings and I think we all want to feel love,care and acceptance. I know what it's like to feel on the outside. On the inside of me I know I have a good heart and I hope people will see that. I just don't think very many people really look to see what beauty is inside of a person and they don't really see or care too. People can be really selfish and hurtful and inconsiderate and lack understanding to the needs of a persons heart. I'm sure you are a beautiful person an dat least you are honest about what hurts you. Being vulnerable and feeling is not easy to do. You have a step up on many people because of the power and love heldi n that vulnerability. There is a really great lady named Brene Brown she has a few books also you tube videos ( the videos on the power of vulnerabiltity are good.. Iv'e only read The Gifts of Imperfection but it was so powerfull. It helped me to learn to love and accept myself for me. Also to know that being a sensitive and caring guy is ok. We don't have to live toimpress people or even have to be extra ordinary. Who we are is beautiful. Imperfect and all. I'm not perfect but if you ever need a friend or a person that ses beyond materialistic or status like stuff or just someone to talk with I can be hear if you like. Just know that you aren't the only one that feels hurt when people are being mean or insensitive. There are some truly genuine people out hear. Lol tough to find for sure. I don't know but I like to think there is a reason I stumbled across this video. I do love to give and care and if I can help in anyway I'd like that. Hope you have a good day or night. Depending where in the world you maybe :-)
im an introvert but will push myself to do something to change that because i live alone and hate that i am afraid of meeting people outside my comfort zone. I end up meeting men first than women and i want a woman friend to go through stuff together and become like sisters that watch out for one another. im like in my 30's and feel like i need someone to keep watch over me because i feel like my brain runs away from me sometimes. anyone out there lets exchange numbers. i live in ga.
+Kris Spicer you are so right people are so selfish I thought many years ago that once I got out of High school it was over but no to my surprised sisters in law are the same they just ignore me big time I am nice and kind but I am done with their dramas and criticism I would fell sad about myself still I don’t get it why they are this way I even go out of my way to be nice but they just try to be bullies I would go to family gatherings for my husband but you just can’t please people so I listen to motivational speakers so I have come to the conclusion that bad vibes can’t stand good vibes but you just have to stay away from this types of people when ever you can their goals is to bring you down don’t know if is some type of jealousy or something.
Point made …. “ it never ends “ move on and live your life !
Be glad they're ignoring you, that way you can avoid them too. Be thankful.
THANK YOU!!! This helped me so much! This describes my situation perfectly... "If you think they are manipulators, and show a pattern of giving people the cold shoulder, ignore them. Give them a big fake smile and act like they are not even bothering you. But don't make them the center of attention. That is what they want. Instead, smile and be polite, but avoid them!" Thanks for giving me peace about the situation and a way to respond.
This happens a lot in retirement villages ,where people who have been the Primary School bully, think that they can continue by excluding people from their cliques. They often start unfounded rumours and exclusion strategies such as giving them the silent treatment, not including them in activities and generally spreading negative gossip. Usually, the excluded person has done nothing to warrant the behaviour toward them except , perhaps, to be more intelligent or mature in their behaviour. The bullies find it very hard to understand when all of a sudden, one of the excluded ones doesn't care. The bullies want them to be upset and when they are not, they sometimes increase the behaviour. However, it would be nice if there were tips for older folk who find this type of behaviour hard to deal with. zone of my neighbours is about 80 years old and she is constantly being harassed by a 68 year old man who is very arrogant. Going to local authorities appears to be reporting trivia.
Finally a helpful video about feeling left out 💛 Thank you! 🌹
I actually knew all of this, but I just needed to know tonight, that I wasn't the only one. Thank you gal. Great advice. Sub'd off of this alone.
My brother always ignores me and it bursts because he acts like I'm not there and I'm invisible... he always gives me an attitude and always is saying something negative about me. It's rare that he'll be in a good mood and actually be nice to me. It frustrates me so much and I just want to yell at him but I don't want to hurt his feelings. :(
when i ignore someone, im COMPLETELY cold to them. i dont look at them, dont say hi to them or nothing. when i ignore someone, its bcuz i am a kind hearted, caring, positive, easygoing guy and other person/people are just insecure, jealous, and just plain out hating on me when its uncalled for so when i ignore someone, i do it for a good reason. u may or may not beleive in horoscopes (im not that much of a dedicated believer myself) but if u do. im an Aquarius so we are good at giving the cold shoulder to people if given a good reason to. but dont misunderstand. i dont ignore people "just bcuz i can". thats just stupid
Sadly so are you...
thats seems really passive aggressive
Dee_V soo?
totally immature and passive aggressive
Suzanne Dawson nah. i actually like to see the good in people, even in the people who dont like me but if i find your trying to put my down or try and move around me like a snake, ill drop u like a bad habbit. i cant stand when people act fake/snakey and unless that person was raised in a fuckin zoo, they shud know why when people dont wanna chill with them no more,
This happened to me. My close friend of 23 years stopped talking to me after I got married.
I cut ties with toxic people [not to manipulate them btw] I just don't want to deal with their bullshit [no offense anyone who is getting ignored or avoided] and it could be that people who avoid others go through phases so don't take it personal, people come and go in life anyway its no big deal : p
Don’t ignore people who are family, especially if they’re suffering.
What if they have done something to you and you call them out on it and now they are trying to punish you by distanting themselve and never acting the same?
You remind me so much of my mother's situation. My mother has been complaining to me and my father about how my father's side of the family (my father's brother and wife who live under the same roof as us) about how unfriendly they are to us. Whenever they go to the kitchen or come one from outside, my mother would always be have a smile on her face (since they aren't friendly) and talk about where they went and what their doing and so on. Most of the time, my aunt would ALWAYS want to talk about herself (because she just loves saying more about herself than listening to what my mom want's to say about herself). I told my mom (privately) that my aunt is very self-centred, same with my uncle (who thinks his children are better than me and my brother). My aunt wouldn't even want to listen to what my mother has to say about her children's (me & my bro) accomplishments (since she may be jealous and keep thinking to herself than her children are so much better). Therefore, yes, they ARE sort of manipulative in a way to get what they want (or compliments). They always want to have their own way. That is why, from the advice my father, my mother should never talk about my aunt's life and except that they are different people than us, and just simply greet them with a smile. My mom would always say to me to always "be kind". THANK YOU for lightening up this topic to my head again. I'll have to show this to my own mom soon so that she also gets the hang of it!
Just because they're family doesn't mean you have to kiss they're a.. point blank period
Just professional big smile! I needed this.
My cousin has been ignoring me since 10 years ago for literally no reason. We grew up together. She had a baby and had to drop out of high school while I graduated and started my career, and got married. She even blocked me on Facebook for a few years then I was able to add her as a friend. But she STILL avoids me but she watches my Facebook stories. Even when I ask how is she or I said I missed her, I'm getting NO response. She has like 9 kids now, we're both 24. I don't have kids but tons of animals and my husband. I don't know if it's jealously but there's nothing to be jealous of, I would kill to ovulate like her. It just hurts because we were like sisters, and she's avoiding me because of something in her mind!
Oh, I thank you so much Marie Dubuque! You are very correct. Your words have given me comfort. You are truly dear to me as you have helped me in life. Tyler Lord Hamilton
If they try to ignore and avoid you, they're not "friends". If they come up to you, put your foot down and tell them off.
And my sister hates me
You're not alone!
CourtneyandLindsayFan You're not alone. Fuck em. Their loss.
Pretty sure you’re not alone. I struggle with highly manipulative people in my family. Pretty much isolated myself away from them to protect
These people have Narcissism. Check out some of Smakintosh or Narcissistic Awareness videos. These people will dupe everyone into "following THEM" like a subtle cult and turn them all against you. My mother and younger brother are like this. She is fake and phony and he WORSHIPS her instead of being truthful like me. They plotted and schemed and stole my inheritance after my dad died (from the same abuse). I was forced to go NO Contact with these toxic people, forfeiting my own inheritance just for peace and sanity.
I feel your pain...my twin brother is giving me a proper shunning, for at least the last 4 years, for reasons completely unknown to me.
If you think about it, when someone "ignores" you on purpose they aren't really ignoring you at all, they have something on their mind about you which has an effect on how they act around you... so if they "ignore" you, don't worry, they are FULLY aware of your presence!
Can you please explain this in depth, thanks
@@lizzylewis5793 Okay, when someone makes every attempt to ignore you every time you're around, then it must mean that you are on their mind, because they have have to be constantly aware of the possibility that you might show up. Not sure how my original comment wasn't clear enough?
@Sour Woman From Ireland. so for example you text a family member and they ignore your text is that the same thing? That means they were thinking about you?
@@lizzylewis5793 Well, I mean, it means they have something in their head about you if they are ignoring you (but they are not ignoring whatever it is that has made them feel this way about you) if that makes sense? But yes, I get that it's frustrating and it seems like they're not thinking about you at all, but in reality, when a person puts a lot of effort into ignoring you, it means there is something deep that is annoying them and they can't bring themselves to address it because otherwise, wouldn't they just speak to you and be normal? Maybe they're jealous? Maybe they're angry? There's always a reason for it. Ignoring someone is always a drastic move especially when they do it all the time and it never seems to stop.
@Sour Woman From Ireland. yes, that makes since now. And yes it is very frustrating especially after I have apologized for anything that may have caused them to feel this way. I am a very nice person probably a people pleaser and I figure if I am kind to others why they can't be that way. But I'm going to have to give them a dose of their own medicine even though that's not in my personality to ignore them
Quick question. Wouldnt it be easier to just cut them off altogether so you have no energy towards them?
Yes, cut it cold. It has to be that way if you are a kind and caring person, otherwise at least in my case I send to much energy their way. I have to make a clean cut. If it someone that I am in a lover's relationship with I try to give a half heart explanation. Like I need time alone. You can never give them an okay. Cut it straight.
Bumpy Ride Amen keep it short & sweet. fuck Keeping my distance I will cut they Ass off for Good no talking or speaking to them I don't do that fake shit because I can't stand a person that is always out to use me and take advantage of me then lie on me and say I offer and give them money lieing Ass bitches I tell you , you will always give and be their for others but I bet you they will never do it for you that's why I love being to myself keep them fake Ass bitches from around me period
Gabrielle Smith
What if you have, say a severe learning disability like I do, because you had a head
Injury before even starting school, though I look very normal? I have a very low
Income. My father is 86 years old, and can’t cut him off, because I may get an
Inheritance, and I NEED every cent to make it possible for me to survive. Great
Question you just asked. Thanks.
Jose Sanchez get a job or a hustle man that’s sad waiting around for him to die
Not easy if you're emotionally attached
My family ignores me because I’m not like them, can’t do anything about that
I never get support but I give it. I get out down, gaslighted, questioned, etc. It hurts !!! If I question them I'm told I'm too sensitive and making a big deal out of nothing. This is a no win for me.
"Kill with kindness" good advice
Whenever we had a family function or party everyone enjoy but they ignore me like I'm invisible 😔
Same here
What does it mean when your sister ignores you or comes to you only when she needs something but when she hangs out and she has fun, she never invites you and she seems so in love with her friends but it almost seems like she's ashamed to be with you? I heard that ignoring a person is a sign of jealousy or envy but, in her case, I feel like she's ashamed and she thinks that I'm a loser... She also refused to invite me during my birthday, I spent the day alone crying in my bed. This hurts me so much that it caused me severe depression and suicidal thoughts and I think I need a psychologist. I know I have to follow my own path, but I feel like I'm a loser for real.
You're not a loser my oldest sister does the same to me and yes I believe they are jealous. Sometimes family ain't shyt!
Thanks so much I really needed what you said.I made a note of best points it saved me from a stress attack from anger.This has been going on for over 25 years.
for several months my sisters are avoiding, not talking and ignoring me to the point of saying in my face that I make them cringe. Just minutes ago I was in their room trying to talk to them but they kicked me out of their room. I think all started when I got in college six months ago therefore our point of view in things are different but it is not an excuse for what they are doing. It is so painful to watch those teenage girls that once loved me to hate me so much and I’m not exaggerating; they have said it.
I think you are so right. I also find that some people expect you to be their sounding boards and when you want to say something they don't want to hear because they are so wrapped up their thoughts that they forget that it is a two way street. Then there are people who are looking to climb the ladder and are only looking for people who have what the want. So you are of no importance to them and they have no time for you. And as you said, they want you to put them on a pedestal and for you do whatever they want you to do, see you on their terms and roll you around their fingers. Thanks for confirming this.
+islandgirl3330 Well said especially about the pedestadal . It's like they want to feel superior and needed and that if you don't do as they say they will just leave. It is a very ugly form of manipulation and the need to feel in control. Very well said Thank You. I was thinking a long these lines but couldnt put it into words.
Thank you Marie.
My family is refusing to talk to me because I quit competitive swimming. It’s a decision that’s best for me, and now everyone I live with is refusing to speak to me. They need to suck it up and accept my choice because I know it’s going to benefit me.
my 2 cousins are constantly ignoring me for no reason, and I have done nothing. We used to get along and now it’s like they flipped a switch.😞
This happened to me but my best friend is friends with the person that ignores me and says bad stuff about me help
I have one cousin who hates my guts ):
same here
Same lol
Don't we all.
Same here...unfortunately
Same... the only cousins I have my age always ignore me and it sucks :(
They like DRAMA, & THAT will never change...
What gets me us when you're in a great deal of emotional and physical pain but they don't seem to care or hear you out. I'm sick of broken promises too. If you say you're going to do something why not follow up on it? it makes me feel even worse.
Marie Dubuque, my friend and I were so close when we were younger and as the years went by. The idea of popularity was common when we were around 5th grade. Since then, she realized that she was a lot preetier and popular than I was. Since then, she has been nice with me when we are alone, but when we are around other people, I feel like she´s embarrassed to even talk to me. I feel like our friendship is tearing apart. HELP
sasha, believe me, things change. Even though she might be the popular one right now, the tables do turn. It is likely she is hanging around superficial people who don't really care about her for who she is...and you do. She will come back. But in the mean time, try and cultivate new friendships. I know it is hard, but important. Really get involved in school. sports, clubs, wherever your interests lie. You will meet people quickly that way.
Marie Dubuque thank you! I realized that she is not my only friend, I can hang out with others but thanks to you, I know she will come back, our friendship is worth keeping.
when u have friends that change on u like what your friend is doing to u. cut them off and dont look back. they'll keep doing it 2 u. snakes may change their colours but THEY'LL NEVER CHANGE THEIR STRIPES. remember that take care and god bless
My sister ignores me when we have a family gathering she doesn't talk to me or asks me how I am. When I say goodbye she doesn't say goodbye back and then only talks to me when she needs something or when I did something wrong like saying someone's name wrong. I ring her and try to talk to her about it but she doesn't want too and hurts me by saying I am too sensitive, immature and finds it hard to talk to me. She tells me I need to get help when I start to cry and I can't speak to her because I have anxiety. I feel so bad afterwards but I am sure I did the right thing when I rang her to just talk to her. I have anxiety and other problems but she doesn't seem to care. I am fed up and angry because I have been hurt so many times by her. I feel bad because she is also having a baby. This is not the first time and I just don't know what is wrong with me.
natsmyspace there is nothing wrong with you! She is the one who is distancing herself. And she will regret it some day.
I just experienced this with a relative. I think for me I'm so stressed I try to carry a conversation with that person & other family members & i can tell they rnt even trying to ask me anything. I think I don't have that out going personality so that y she doesn't even try talking. But it's hard cuz ur family & have to see each other at times & it hurts to be ignored. I guess im going to have to not even expect a relationship with her & talk to ppl who do want to talk with me. I can notice when she is ignoring me & say it every thing alright u don't seem as talkative as u used to, . If it doesn't go well I can excuse my myself to use the restroom, answer a call & go to the other room to nap or leave early just to survive family get togethers.
Best of luck with your relative! Just remember it's not you it's them that has the problem and always surround yourself with people that love you and want to be with you. She's not worth your time. Just be civilised with her by only saying hello when you see her and just ignore her. Maybe pull her aside and ask why she is ignoring you so she knows and it will show you are assertive and strong to stand against her.
You are not the problem........there is a saying "you can pick your friends and not your family"........therefore go find some new friends who care for you and yor anxiety will fly out the window......if your family can't be there for you when you need them then don't be there for them when they want favours,etc from you......you are going to be so busy with new friends in future that you will have to say no when asked to babysit
I agree with all of you. Thank you, great points.
Blood makes you related.. loyalty makes you family
I moved 700 miles away from my family and OMG they are moving in the same State as I. It has been 7 years of peace and now I am feeling the need to move away again. My siblings are toxic to me they put me down my whole entire life, they are cruel to my husband and my kids. I live in peace when I am so so far away from them. My kids grew up knowing how cruel they are and they resent my family. Sad but true.
Thanks a lot your video helped me a lot. :) I just needed someone to tell me these in this sweet tone.
I'm the type of girl who goes and nags after people when they get mad cause this remains on the back of my mind whatever work I'm doing :( I can't concentrate so I go clear things make the first approach even though it's not my fault.
People take advantage of it. Thank you. Please continue making videos.
This is so validating. I wonder if it comes from their very low self-esteem and your oversensitive nature.
In some cases, people tend to ignore and avoid others either because they're insecure, or they have listening difficulties, or because they have a very selective attention span. They choose what they who or want to pay attention to. And whatever or whoever doesn't grab their interest, they intentionally disregard. But in extreme cases, people may ignore others because they're jerks with a massive ego. In that sense, ignoring people is an entirely conscious and personal decision. They may do it to hurt others and to make them feel like they don't matter or they don't have a voice. And I once told a classmate in school "You ALWAYS have a choice; you either listen to the person when they're talking, or you don't". But in my view, ignoring people when they're trying to talk to you is rude and disrespectful.
I needed this advice. I started dating my friend's family member (not her brother). She has always been entitled, spoiled...the person you described in your "people pleaser" video (she wants people pleasing her). She behaved immaturely, started unnecessary fights in our relationship until we stood up to her. Since we did that, she's been giving me the cold shoulder AND recruited another family member to hate me too. Passive-agressive, fake behavior. Thanks Marie. You're right.
very helpful, thank you!
It's kinda being fake though to say "HIII!!, How are you?! :))".
Yes, it can feel fake. However, for the sake of manners, better to do it and leave it at that. No further conversation required.
omggggg ikr tht would be awkward
@@i.a.3393 damnnnn ur ryt
Excellent advice. My Dad always said the worst thing you could do to someone is ignore them.
This is so true
I found my family in my coworkers at work.. I’m tired of being picked on by my adopted family and ignored and being blamed.. better to love from afar.. when we do speak it’s probably once a year... sad the only gatherings I go to are funerals. I’ve been asked about but no one makes an effort to call me or invite me anywhere.. Ive made an effort to visit but it’s always ME GOING TO THEM..I’ve cared so much about not being included for years to the point I’ve gotten sick stressed and depressed.. and they still ignore me now I know why thanks to this woman here... My very existence is what bugs them.. why did u adopt me then
I could use some advise. It's basically one friend that the whole time I have been friends with her, she was pretty mean (looking back on it). Every time I try to talk to her, she ignores me and talks to other people in our group of friends. Anyway, when I try to hang out with her one on one, she complains like "if only Josie (not real name) was here right now". I just have to remember that 10 years from now, all of this won't matter, and we will both probably be on different paths.
I also really like all the people in the group. This person is kind of like "the leader" my friends always wanna be partners with her... Of coarse never me. I can't really talk to her about it because she would make fun of me. Also, our moms are best friends so I can't really end our friendship. Anyway any advise???
Thanks it helped a lot!!!!
It's sad when you grow up in a family that wants to gather for Christmas, Easter,Thanksgiving or Family reunion. And only those days and never really cares enough to Say Hi on any other day of the week. And then when you miss that one day it's like they write you off completely! I had uncle's and aunt's stab my parents in the back over land and a house. It's sad when grandparents don't care enough about you to help. I learned a long time ago family is the worst people to trust with money!
My wife’s brothers are like this . I use to hate it with a passion. They have kids around my sons age and never invite us or maybe once every few years and it got to a point where my 4 year old son ask for his cousins and I had to tell him they moved really far just so he can forget about them. My wife’s brothers make good money so I think all that got to their heads .. I know ignore it and let it be and took them all off my media because they don’t deserve to see my child grow and it hurts but where coping now . Sometimes you just gotta let family like that go
great video
Thank you!
What if the person has been ignoring you for years? That's the way it has been with my mother-in-law for the past 34 years. She never asks about me, seems to have no interest in my life, and purposely ignores me when something major is going on. She pretends that she doesn't even remember what I do for a living. I'm an artist and a writer--it's not so difficult. I've gotten to the point that I don't want to see her, and I'm having a difficult time being friendly to her when I do. My FIL died in November and so we've been visiting her every other week, much more than we used to, and it's really starting to get to me.
novelist99 do you have to go along when your husband visits his mother? Maybe just go every other time, so it ends up being only once a month instead of every other week. I understand why your husband wants to visit his mom, and that's great, but he doesn't have to drag you along every time. In fact, it might be better for him to have time alone with her...and that's exactly how I would explain it when you tell him you don't want to visit every two weeks. I know it hurts that you don't have the relationship you would like with her, but remember, you have tried all these years and she hasn't. And no matter who he married, she would find fault. I know this sounds cliche, but it really is her not you.
Thanks for the advice, Marie. I agree, and I will try that. I certainly do need to see her less. :-)
+Marie Dubuque I have a mother who treats me like dirt.She always acts negative towards me she calls me a stupid bitch and dumb and stupid person.And nobody likes me and don't be thinking about me.She says that she not jealous of me and she said that everybody not jealous of me and she tells me who jealous of what.And she always act narcissist and don't never help or appreciate me.Can you help me and what should I do?How do I deal with negative family members and negative people?Thanks
If they do that… they aren’t friends or family anymore
What I've also learnt is as you get olfery, especially as a young one of the family, don't always feel obligated to be there when everyone is going to be there all the time.
Especially when you're being ignored. Im abit like my mum in terms of, when ive not been as present, i feel bad sometimes. But especially when they're being distant with you, i will even tell my mum if anyone asks her whats going on with me just say i went out with friends. Because at the end of the day, the phone works both ways, if they want to hear whats going on with you, its not difficult to contact YOU why is it always asking vis a third party
My best friend who helped me pass 5th grade just started first he unfriended me on Xbox and when I play a online game and I text he ignores me I need help
Colby Cutaio get over it and move on and find a real friend
Life is a series of episodes. I had to start thinking this way because the pain was difficult to deal with when a friend proved to not be true or loyal. People come and go but on the horizon when the fog dissipates there is a new path. Hope soon you find friends who care about you as much as you care about them. ~
My friend stopped talking to me a little more than three weeks ago I have said hi over Facebook she's seen the messages I've sent but no reply and she always replies I've asked if she's okay and if were still friends through text but nothing I don't know what to do about it, its just so random and out of the blue, anyone's advice would be great and very helpful thanks
Envy.
I can relate to you as well, just let it go, there space for new friends
This is spot on. Thank you for sharing this. I tried this on my family and it didn't work. They continued ignoring me. In fact my brother blocked me. I think in my family it is a lot more than me being wrong and them feeling hurt. It is about control but it is more of a narcissist ploy and they enjoy it, hurting the one, who is the nice one and wanting to hurt and cause trauma to me who lives in excruciating physical pain. I honestly can say at this point that I dont want them any longer if this is how they are going to treat me. I allowed my sister and brother earlier to pay for a Caribbean cruise and I was grateful and expensive gifts but I feel bad because they think I am not grateful because I can speak my mind and have different opinions. I want to learn how to say goodbye and love without them because I have codependency issues
God will bring you people who love you unconditionally, you have to ask Him, when you least expect it, you will realize you have new friends , doesn't happen overnight normally.
@@1besiegedThank you for saying this. This is confirmation, God bless!
Great advice,my grandma has been ignoring me and never talking to me but whenever my other cousins come she starts talking to them so I’ve said this to my mum but I figured out she wouldn’t go against her mom so this advice really helped me a lot!!Thanks!👍
I have grandchildren who do this. One of them invited our family to their graduation in another state. We quickly confronted her lack of making us feel like family, rejecting the invite. Might send a gift, might not.
A niece of mine told me 10 years ago, that " if you really loved me you would accept Jesus into your heart," I immediately responded I am not going to play that game with you. Never heard from her again. This video certainly indicates that I gave her the proper answer,
Y'know, I just don't feel a whole lot of love. I'm the youngest, by a long mile, as siblings and cousins are in their 20s, 30s and 40s. I haven't grown up with them, so I can't relate. Then they have their kids which are closer to my age, yet they seem so young and not on my level of maturity. I just want someone I can relate to, and maybe just share what I feel at times. Plus, the kids see me as not interesting(I get it, they're children), and my cousins and siblings don't really include me in conversations. So, I deal with this by just isolating myself in my little solitary confinement or room, and live how I was raised all my life: an only child. Don't get me wrong, only children get their perks, but I was really alone at hard times or just everyday life. Did everything at home by myself and that's that. Idk that's just me. Just wish my family would be an accepting one.
乁| ･ 〰 ･ |ㄏ
family ant shit shit!!!!
"You got that Right ".
"You got that Right ".
***** family can you really do you wrong