When the murder-ape that's twice your size who evolved on a world with 4 times as much gravity as yours learned that your kinetic shield doesn't stop his trench shovel:
@@raidenj1295, Tau didn't had mastery in they're tech because they keep advancing while the Krieg just master of using his shovel to shove the Hell his enemies.
🚬"Listen to me, pal. I know you have a fancy translator device in that "ear" of yours, that can understand what I'm saying. So I'm going to give you a brief history lesson of the human race. It is one of constant bloodshed, death, destruction, warfare, torture, slavery, and conquest. In the half million years that "modern man" has been alive, it is estimated that we've only had about sixty, non-consecutive years of peace. All days taken together, that's the rough estimate they add up to. Even in our times of peace, there is ALWAYS at least one person on this earth suffering horribly at the hands of another every single day. That says nothing about our history of disease. A whole continent was tempered in the fires of the "Black Death", that killed nearly a quarter of its population in just half a century. And out of fear of that sickness, we killed even more of our kind. When we gained an understanding of biology and illness, we learned to weaponize it. We slaughtered entire continents this way. We play and experiment with horrible things that could wipe out the entire world in a matter of days, just out of morbid, hubristic curiosity. You know, we used to have another species of human on this planet - Neanderthals. Would you like to know what happened? They're dead. We killed them all. In fact, our scientists have a theory, that we experience this psychological phenomenon, known as the 'uncanny valley', precisely because of them - fear of something that looked *almost* like us, but still, very clearly wasn't. A single nation, long before the advent of ballistics or motorized transport, took over an entire continent over 3000 years ago. another nation, 2500 years later, took over half of the planet, BY ITSELF. That nation, then gave birth to an even more powerful one, who would go on to harness the power of the sun, and vaporize 100,000 people in the blink of an eye. Just 100 years ago, we fought the two bloodiest conflicts in the history of this planet, that killed around 4% of the planet EACH TIME." Did you know the MAJORITY of our scientific understanding came from torturous experiments we did on each other during those wars? Sometimes, you run across a SINGLE human that's so good at conquest, 10% of the world still has his genetics because he had his way with the millions he conquered. We've always wondered about space, you know; our legends, our stories, our fantasies - what it would be like to travel the stars. We were honestly shocked to find space travel was even possible when we landed a man on our moon. We've been trying to go further ever since. And in our curiosity, of those stars, we grew a little fearful - we asked "What if we ran across a horrible, monstrous race that only wanted to kill and consume? What if we get destroyed by something 'evil' out there? Well, we never really did consider the possibly that WE were that horrible race, but after this little skirmish started between your world and ours? If you think what we've done to each other is horrible, imagine, what we are going to do to you - when we reverse-engineer your fancy saucers, and phasers, and plasma rifles... And take your world in the name of Man. Despite all of our infighting and sordid history, there's an interesting thing about mankind - we are naturally more cooperative with eachother than we we are destructive. Because if we weren't, we would never have created the society we have now. And NOW? Now we ALL have something to cooperate against. You just shook the wrong hornet's nest. I hope the 'research data' was worth it. I know your little 'Galactic Federation' see the fact that a lot of us are still religious as some primitive thing that serves no purpose, but on the contrary, I implore you... Pick a god and start praying. It's the only thing that's going to save you, now."
🚬"Listen to me, pal. I know you have a fancy translator device in that "ear" of yours, that can understand what I'm saying. So I'm going to give you a brief history lesson of the human race. It is one of constant bloodshed, death, destruction, warfare, torture, slavery, and conquest. In the half million years that "modern man" has been alive, it is estimated that we've only had about sixty, non-consecutive years of peace. All days taken together, that's the rough estimate they add up to. Even in our times of peace, there is ALWAYS at least one person on this earth suffering horribly at the hands of another every single day. That says nothing about our history of disease. A whole continent was tempered in the fires of the "Black Death", that killed nearly a quarter of its population in just half a century. And out of fear of that sickness, we killed even more of our kind. When we gained an understanding of biology and illness, we learned to weaponize it. We slaughtered entire continents this way. We play and experiment with horrible things that could wipe out the entire world in a matter of days, just out of morbid, hubristic curiosity. You know, we used to have another species of human on this planet - Neanderthals. Would you like to know what happened? They're dead. We killed them all. In fact, our scientists have a theory, that we experience this psychological phenomenon, known as the 'uncanny valley', precisely because of them - fear of something that looked *almost* like us, but still, very clearly wasn't. A single nation, long before the advent of ballistics or motorized transport, took over an entire continent over 3000 years ago. another nation, 2500 years later, took over half of the planet, BY ITSELF. That nation, then gave birth to an even more powerful one, who would go on to harness the power of the sun, and vaporize 100,000 people in the blink of an eye. Just 100 years ago, almost every single 'nation' we have, fought the two bloodiest conflicts in the history of this planet, that between each, killed around 8% of the entire population. Did you know the MAJORITY of our scientific understanding came from torturous experiments we did on each other during those wars? Sometimes, you run across a SINGLE human that's so good at conquest, 10% of the world still has his genetics because he had his way with the millions he conquered. We've always wondered about space, you know; our legends, our stories, our fantasies - what it would be like to travel the stars. We were honestly shocked to find space travel was even possible when we landed a man on our moon. We've been trying to go further ever since. And in our curiosity, of those stars, we grew a little fearful - we asked "What if we ran across a horrible, monstrous race that only wanted to kill and consume? What if we get destroyed by something 'evil' out there? Well, we never really did consider the possibly that WE were that horrible race, but after this little skirmish started between your world and ours? If you think what we've done to each other is horrible, imagine, what we are going to do to you - when we reverse-engineer your fancy saucers, and phasers, and plasma rifles... And take your world in the name of Man. Despite all of our infighting and sordid history, there's an interesting thing about mankind - we are naturally more cooperative with eachother than we we are destructive. Because if we weren't, we would never have created the society we have now. And NOW? Now we ALL have something to cooperate against. You just shook the wrong hornet's nest. I hope the 'research data' was worth it. I know your little 'Galactic Federation' see the fact that a lot of us are still religious as some primitive thing that serves no purpose, but on the contrary, I implore you... Pick a god and start praying. It's the only thing that's going to save you, now."
@@ibraheemshuaib8954 Also Russia: "So how do we get the bomb up there?" Everyone else: "The mothership is 10 feet off the ground - how hard can it be?" Russia: "You really don't understand how heavy this bomb is"
Missiles: **runs out of fuel, keeps going** ... Mothership: **slowly moves out of the way as the missiles float by** Starship Commander: "Wait, were those arrows? ... Scan them!" Scan Operator: "Hmm, a primitive form of rocketeer technology that's warheads are made from exactly the fuel source our ships reactors need in the first place." Starship Commander: "They gave us tribute! The king will be pleased! Soon all motherships will be positioned around this star system to protect our new allies!"
Especially the mix of different cultures and dialects that all are laughing at the same thing, understanding exactly what's funny, while the "aliens" see nothing funny.
Being laughed at is scary enough, but if you’ve never heard laughter before it’d sound terrifying. It’s a weird jittering noise that has no compound purpose except humiliation or humor
The HUMAN urge to bond together, everyone would fight the aliens, if aliens invaded they probably wouldn't have good intentions for us, so it would be a fight for survival
You see that one 17 year old American marine that ran out of beef jerky and dip two days ago and hasn't eaten all day starts sprinting at you with his mini shovel.
Mfw I accidentally activated a genetic memory of the human regiment (They are in fight mode) (Pure adrenaline is pumping through them) (They have next to no regard for their own life and will do anything to kill me)
You think you're a badass until the savage hominids figure out that your flesh tastes vaguely similar to one of their many domesticated flightless birds.
If you didn’t know lasers when encountering fog suffer from thermal blooming. Or any kind of smoke or particles. Meaning you could cancel out lasers with a fog machine. Imagine making a nearly perfect light based weapon only to be defeated by a spirit halloween fog machine and an AK-47
@@cro-magnoncarol4017 i mean if they can already travel across galaxies to get to our planet we are most definitely cooked either way use ur brain lmao
We may be the equivalent of gorillas waving around AK-47’s to the aliens, but you wouldn’t like fighting a gorilla with an AK-47 any more than the aliens will like fighting us.
[Every single religious battlecry can be heard in the distance] _Aliens, realizing all those 'human religious sites' they deliberately destroyed to break humanity's morale ended up making the murder-apes a hundred times more vicious instead_
@@drmaulana2600in that case they are probably in India and somehow destroy many holy sites of hindus and Muslims cause there is a Jai shri Ram chant in the staring. They really did a good work of uniting both sides and hell is now going unleash upon them.
Ohhh you dumb greenskin freaks fucked up now Instead of cripple us y’all United us with one, singular drive Our hatred of YOU And there’s no greater motivator for Humankind than Hatred of something different than them, so y’all kicked the fuckin hornet’s nest 😂 RIP
The 7 hour war only happened because the government turned on itself out of fear of control loss, do you think global governments will risk losing their pensions because some green men want a new resort planet? Absolutely not.
In an invasion scenario, it's very much going to be an either us or them situation. Either humanity is getting exterminated, or the aliens are. And if the aliens are anywhere smart enough, they'll not even land. They'll take us out in one punch.
when you realise mere riot police gear can protect an officer long enough for him or someone else to put out the fire. So even something as primitive as a militarized space suit would offer enough thermal protection to render the Molotov almost useless
Hungarians in 2056: "weird speaking fuckers invading us from far away... oh right, just use the same procedure as we did 100 years ago, molotov cocktails!"
Concrete saws would be an extra-brutal way to get killed. The blades don't cut, instead they slowly grind, tear, and burn away at the flesh beneath the power armor.
Alien Overlord: "What do you mean these apes have practiced killing each other nonstop for thousands of years and developed weapons that can glass planets?!"
Alien Officer: "I..its crazy Milord... while they glassed a nation once, and now preparing to glass more of their OWN BIOSPHERE, ultimately destroying their own civilization through countless of WARS! They were not united... yet, the somehow did after we attacked them! Their sights turned on us! They saw us as a way to unify these Deathworlders have a reason to fight someone that are not of their species! What shall we do, Milord!?"
@@Eternus_transmogrifus49hey so you know that theory that says if we think it’s real, it will become real (regardless of if it’s accurate or not or if the wording is different)? We find out that we created him-
We are the species that cracks jokes about historically tragic events, crack jokes before being brutally executed, and crack jokes while being shot at.
Imagine your drop ship landing in Appalachia and you lose a third of your squad in the first 24 hours of fighting only to realize that their military hasn't arrived yet.
“Humanity will always resolve to be victorious xeno. There is no other option. 7,000 years of warfare have taught us that there is only one certainty in war: woe to the vanquished.”
Uhh the guy who said that had his entire culture and people almost wiped out barely surviving on some islands off the end of the known world by the people he said it to… 😂
"Sir, after a hard fought battle, we finally managed to secure enemy territories!" -a xeno vice chief after losing 80% of their ground invasion force to take over a single neighborhood in Texas
"Are we completely sure there aren't any more humans in that specific neighborhood?" "Maybe a few stragglers. 10 stray people at most." "Good enough for me." *Hits the funny missile button aimed directly at them*
"No one told us. We weren't prepared. Training only did so much. They fantasized about this! They dream about invasions for fun! What's with this damn planet?!" - an alien survivor, maybe
"They find joy in dying in an outnumbered fight. Just one took out 20 of ours before it finally collapsed. Something keeps them fighting after the point of death" - aliens discovering adrenaline
Imagine explaining the history of humanity to a tied up alien, in a basement with a bunch of warriors.. then while you get ready to waterboard one, you talk about the horrors humans have done during war times. "If we do this to eachother, what do you think we're gonna do to you?"
@SalmonFeet first telling them about the wars in history "then, we started looking into interrogation techniques... " grabs a towel and fills a bucket with water "we tested a lot in the 20th century, using all sorts of things..." throws towel over aliens head
@@allaware1971 “…and I bet back where you come from, you have all sorts of horrific ways to torture a man. But look around you pal, you sure are a long way from the comforts and familiarities of home, and you sure as shit ain’t gonna see them again..”
@@B1_Bis how to lose a war *easy*: Step 1 Overestimate your capabilities and blindly hope that you will win. Step 2 Underestimate your enemy military force and ability to adapt to your tactics Step 3 Enjoy, you just lost
@@SigilOfBaphometread his step 2..Yeah, humans are getting screwed in this fight. Europeans annihilated the native americans, even though they hadn't fought in that land ever before. Same is gonna happen here.
“Good, that just means diplomacy time is over. Cause you fell for one of the classic blunders, squid face. HAOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!” *millions of war cries echo in the distance as the Xenos shit themselves at primitives having led them into an ambush*
Last thing the alien sees before he gets swarmed by a group of east europeans so drunk they are unphased by their plasma weapons and armed with machetes (that UFO is about to be sold for more ciggarette money)
"They... They were everywhere. Everywhere I tell you. Every rock, every tree, every puddle. We burned it all down and they kept coming. From the ash, the mud, the rubble. They kept coming. They didn't stop, they simply did not stop. So many... So many. I watched my brothers drown in their blood. I watched them being torn limb from limb. And I heard the apes laugh. Sire... I don't think I can go back." Final transmission report of Commander 2nd Class Kun'Tal, 5th Cohort, 3rd Legion, 29th Conquest Armada
@monarchistfront1452 That's not really what I was thinking. A Conquest Armada is a concept I've invented for my fictional universe. It's a massive organization of military power which operates independently. Its purpose is to explore space, seize worlds, and establish footholds for the Empire. In this instance, it was the 29th Conquest Armada that happened to have found Earth and decided to follow protocol and conquer it. But they lost. But you can make up your own headcanon that they did send 29 of them 😅
Imagine landing in seemingly devastated city, then realize that unlike in training, humans' guns and crossbows ignore your energy shields and go through them like it was nothing. And the last thing you see is a berserk pregnant human woman about to hack your head into half with a fire axe.
The trees start speaking vietnamese, the snow finnish, the trenches Ukrainian, the rooftops Korean, the one place you gassed Russian, and then the sky starts speaking in fortunate son...
Let the world itself cry the voices of its people, all banded under one name, against all that would dare to crush us from beyond the stars: Humanity. And let that voice cry with the bellows of artillery, the rage of the GAU-8. The roar of an F-22 and the chants of any crazy enough bastard willing to fix a bayonet as he sprints to reenact a jousting match with some little xeno bastard that thought Earth was a perfect little spot to vacation after wiping out the people born to inherit the stars.
@@grzegorzbrzeczyszczykiewic9767 And as you retreat into the woods for cover, you hear “SS Marschiert in Feindeslande” as you get raked from the rear by MG3s and HK416s.
"You were in the war, right, Grandpa? Tell us about the murder apes! What were they like?" "They were the meanest creatures we'd ever seen. They were monsters... they stalked around on their hind legs, and they ate, breathed, and spoke with their mouths just like us, but... they were nothing like us. They were tall and skinny, and twice as heavy as any one of us, and so strong. They could pick you up with one arm and swing you around like a toy! They had hair on their heads, and big teeth with sharp canines. And their eyes... when I looked into their eyes, I saw millions of years of evolution staring back at me, millions of years of murder, war, and pain that had chiseled these creatures into what they were. "They carried these big, long metal-throwers with knives on the end. Your photon shield *might* stop the flying metal, if you were lucky... but it wouldn't stop them from impaling you. Have you ever seen someone survive a direct hit from a disintegrator? Well, they could... all it would do is burn them and make them mad! You might think you're strong, but you'd be scared stiff if you'd ever have to face down a murder ape charging you full-speed with the knife on the end of his metal-thrower pointed right at you! All the other animals on their planet were terrified of them, even the big predators. We were all scared, too... "Then, one day, they got ahold of our photon shield technology. That was it, the war was over. We turned and ran..." "But grandpa, they told us that we left because there was nothing of value there?" "That's a lie. We ran from that place, ran scared like prey running from the predator. Those beasts had beaten us, but we just didn't want to admit it. They stole our technology and drove us away. It's terrifying to think that monsters like that exist out there; big, lumbering creatures with cunning and intelligence to match. Murder apes are the reason we invented metal-throwers ourselves, in case we ever have to deal with them again. If those creatures ever manage to make it off of that wretched planet, the very foundations of creation will tremble in terror..." "Grandpa, the murder apes won't ever be able to reach us, will they?" "..."
Then you realize, the artillery doesn't need to stop, it just needs to walk forward. Canadians used this during WW1. Their foottroops would follow behind a bigguns barrage
@@zequadragaming8984 Logistics officer that tells you, that all stockpiles are already depleted. Not a single nation today is ready to wage a full scale war because nobody has strong enough military industrial complex to outproduce spendings of artillery shells
@@Naumovych_Dmytro let me rephrase my question: did you really think the artillery bombardment will stop, just because we're ordered to affix bayonets and charge?
@@QueenLuxmi it didn't because it probably vaporized by the unbelieably physics denying speeds, but if it hadn't it would of probably reached proxima centauri in a few millienium with that speed
Aliens thought we can’t even exist with ourselves But they didn’t realized the only reason we keeped fighting ourselves was because there wasn’t anything better than us And now, humans have someone to compete with. And we are very competitive species
Yeah we didn't *start* at the top of the food chain. We climbed to the top on a ramp built from the bones of anything that threatened us, inspired us, or amused us or was useful to us. Even our own pets we kill ourselves because we think it's more humane. Which I still think is true, but it is funny how it often works out that way isn't it... I'll give the dodo and Australian megafauna as some examples of animals that are dead merely because they weren't sufficiently afraid of us. Our love, care or even curiosity isn't enough to spare you from the wonton and rampant death we spread.
The thought of modern day superpower like US and China abandon their senseless rivalry and ideological differences, and joined together is quite scary for anything but them lmao. Bet that their union would gone as soon as the thing that make them unite disappear
"Let me tell you something about humans, Nephew. They're a wonderful, friendly people... as long as their bellies are full and their Holosuites are working. But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those same friendly, intelligent, wonderful people... will become as nasty and as violent as the most bloodthirsty Klingon. Don't believe me? Look at those faces. Look in their eyes." -Quark, Deep Space Nine
@@yawarapuyurak3271 Twice is an UNDERSTATEMENT. Two thousand five hundred and fifty eight nuclear explosions in just our own history, nevermind the Eugenics Wars in the fiction. It is nothing short of a miracle that Earth is still habitable.
@@yawarapuyurak3271More... So much more than twice, the majority most of the times afterwards were done in uninhabited areas and at least 1 instance (that we know of) where the US was testing the effects of radiation on their own people
*Humanity has been fighting each other for tens of thousands of years* *Aliens arrive and starts shooting shit with pew pew laser guns* *Humanity stops fighting each other and looks over at the aliens* "You don't seem to understand. Earth isn't yours to conquer."
“Their technology was primitive, such a young species, we had thought them a weak target, but we had no idea. Our weapons were better, our tactics reliable, and our first battles were quick and easy, but they never stopped, they never surrendered. As time went on, they only fought harder, and smarter. We leveled their cities, we burned their forests, collapsed their networks of communication and supplies, but they never stopped. We gunned them down, blew them to dust by the thousands, but they kept coming. Weakened and starved, lacking proper weapons, their resolve never diminished, they fought on with nothing but rage and the instincts of the hunters they were. Months into the war, it became clear that despite all our planning, all our technology and resources, we could never hope to win. We were facing an enemy that would never break, never yield until we were gone. We were a stone trapped in the tide, slowly worn down by a force too massive to resist, and so we left them. We fled into the stars and far away from this world of beasts, praying they never find us, because we cannot survive being on the other side of a second war.”
“But, despite our efforts to escape into the stars; to flee amidst the inky, endless void….they…. They *pursued* us. They hounded us like the Hellbeasts of Klethraki V, unrelenting, unceasing as they had been in our war against them. We know not how they came to take to the stars in so short a time, but this revelation, nay; this *omen* , bode ill for us all. And as I transcribe this; this potential last, remaining vestige of our people, I warn any who survive this war, and those as well who may try to do as we had done. DO NOT. ENGAGE. THE HUMANS. Never a more persistent, ruthless, and adaptive species had our people met before them; or a species more driven by their undying hatred for those who disturbed their societies. But attempting to euthanize these humans, purge them from this…Earth, to colonize for the great Gathraki Empire….it has only brought upon us our ruin. Do not make the same errors that we had; to any and all this transmission reaches or will reach, save yourselves! Before it’s too late.”
1:05 seriously, i LOVE these sounds, there needs to be a movie where aliens and humans fight each other in ground combat, with equal technology like that.
humans are the ultimate apex predators on earth for one single ability alone that God honored us with unlike other predators which is the ability to create and use tools also don't forget how crazy powerful the human male can reach in term of strength especially when adrenaline start pumping those tiny green goblins look alike hollywood aliens don't even stand a chance in real life
"Do you know what a 'gun' is? Horrible, chemically actuated mass accelerators. The humans loved them, completely bypassed our infantry shields. They had all sorts of psychotic flavors of the damned things; hand cannons, bomb launchers, auto-repeaters, scattershots, stupid huge slug throwers that they built specific vehicles just to carry. I fought on the 'hammer' offensive. Do you want to know what happened? First we had to fight hoards of screaming, psychopathic, beasts armed to fang with psychotically advanced slug throwers just to secure the landing zones. Then we had to pacify the civilian population... That was the worst part... There were these gangs of particularly demented humans on Objective City 'shi-ka-go'. They would just appear out of nowhere and just... Open up on a patrol squad. Five or six of them with these horrible things we called 'stubbers' because of the sounds they made. The vehicle didn't even stop half the time. The natives called it a 'drive-by'. By the time reinforcements got there, the squad was either dead or horrifically maimed, with the last soldier left firing blankly down an empty street. Things weren't any better on Objective Cities 'Mi-Amee' and 'Nu Or'leenz' where the locals disappeared into the wisdom forsaken swamps on rafts propelled by stupidly powerful fans. The fact that we were able to get off that hellhole without the loss of a hyperdrive or its plans was a victory in its own right. We left a lot of other tech behind to accomplish that, and I'm pretty sure they've been tinkering with it while we were gone. To be blunt, I think it's only a matter of time before they figure out Hyperdrive technology on their own or some messed up equivalent. I can only hope the higher-ups have a plan for when they do..." -Testimony of a Xidrethian soldier returning from the failed Hammer Offensive.
"We thought it would be easy, from what we had seen. Poor and unmotivated people. But the heat, the cold, and the terrain, We thought there would be nothing because of the lack of infrastructure, so it would be something easy, right? How wrong. We were landing and we heard impacts on our ship, I and my partner already knew that everything would go wrong. As soon as we landed we could expand, yes, but the jungle, the forest, the cliffs and the mountains made it difficult. The constant sabotage, the apes came and shot, so as soon as they arrived they left, the few we captured were psychotic or something similar, something they had because pain did nothing to them, but we heard something in common "viva El ejercito" or "Tomen Balas de los moustros." were strange, but we tried to move forward. The time and everything went wrong for us. I don't know if I will return... but I hear the sound of the apes' weapons now. coming to the "sierra madre" I don't know how my comrades will fare in Operation Hammer." - Letter from a Xidrethian soldier in the midst of the failed Operation Broken Eagle further south
"The situation was worse In the Region of "Iistern Yu-rop". Especially In the Nation of "Yu-krayn". When we arrived there, The place was absolutely desolate. It was clear that a Large scale war was fought here. We thought we'd have It easy. Everything seemed abandoned. No signs of life anywhere, Only the occasional creatures of Earth which were no threat. How wrong we were. When we were attacked, We thought we were fighting rebellious citizens. But we were wrong. The humans we fought were cunning, Ferocious, Absolutely violent. In the "forests" and "provinces" We are often attacked by humans wearing primitive equipment that perfectly blended In with the environment. While In the more urban Areas, We were almost always attacked by human soldiers that wore equipment that was of a darker green color. What was strange was from the things we have found here, Writings on walls and the destroyed machines, We have discovered that "Yu-krayn" and another Nation called "Rus-shya" were at War with each other long before we arrived. And that now, Their soldiers are not fighting against, But alongside each other. It was true. The rumors were all true. Humans fought each other because they couldn't fight anyone else but themselves. And now that they have a common enemy, We've only made things better for them, And worse for us."
"thats not better from what our forces encountered in an area what they called Ga' Za, when we arrived there we see natives fight eachother in a desolate landscape, we thought they're fighting for scraps and it would be easy for us to conquer them, and we finally know how wrong we are when we see those conflicting natives, stop the fight and joined together to defend that desolate landscape from us, suddenly none of our ammunition couldn't hit the area and plethora of munitions, both sophisticated and improvised, are hitting our ship left and right, we're lucky we could escape with this condition "
"And that's not even the worst part, our forces entered an area what they called was myaa'namar they discovered locals fighting which They thought was for resources untill they realised the locals were fighting themselves and they promptly engaged in a tactic they called 'gu rilla warfare' and overran our forces with extreme precision "
"My brothers and I deployed to the region of Umeir-Ikka called 'App-ul-eycha'. Heavy scouting and reconnaissance across the mountain ranges, for the first two days things went well. We captured and tortured a human native for information... we thought it would be easy, but... he would not break. The civilian showed impeccable willpower, and consistently referred to us as 'cryptids' in its primitive tongue. We were getting nowhere, and had to terminate the subject and move on. Little did we know... that was just the beginning. We began being picked off, one by one. Improvised traps, long-range mass accelerators they call 'sniper rifles' slew my cadre one by one, and when we finally caught the ones doing it... they weren't even military personnel. We had believed we were being hunted by an elite stealth-operations squad, and how wrong we were. Before we knew it, we were surrounded, cut off from our landing point, and after three grueling weeks... I was the only one to make it back. I am officially tendering my resignation."
When you're been invading the "Humanoids" Home Planet for so long that their governments have fallen but they resorted to so called "Guerrilla Tactics" and are unwilling to surrender (There's no stopping these primal beasts)
“I stand firm against the alien, the mutant, the heretic.” “I grant no mercy, I give no ground.” “With pride I wear the symbol of my chapter, and join my brothers in war.” “I am Iron, I am Wrath, I am DOOM.”
As soon as they touch down in Scotland the bagpipes are gonna start playing and their gonna be really screwed when someone yells "Give em steel lads give em steel"
"They've waged war on each other throughout their recorded history, they couldn't settle their differences even to resist us" *A few [relatively short increment of time]s later...* _"We were fools! They are born to live through struggle, and their infighting came only after subjugating their world! Comfort drove them mad, and our threats gave them clarity!!!"_
Amazing. They came here expecting an easy fight, not… *this.* They thought that most people would surrender after seeing the aliens’ superior technology and weaponry. And while a few *did surrender* (cowards, the whole lot of them), most humans didn’t. They simply hunkered down, and started preparing. And when the aliens came to attack a group of humans, the humans attacked with a *ferocity* the likes of which the aliens had never seen before. It was that moment, they realized it wouldn’t be an easy fight. As they just picked a fight with a species willing to fight down to the last man in order to win.
POV: your friend Schlorp told you its an 5 minute adventure but not told you about Warhammer 40k fanatics, Furries in kevlar and the Raiders of area 51
aliens after translating the history books and learning the kind of hell humans are capable of doing between each other now realising they have the entire human species united just to kill them:
Three hundred thousand years my species has existed, it not a very long time compared to the cosmic scale of the universe and perhaps it's nothing compared to how long your kind has been around, but throughout those three hundred thousand years my species has been fighting each other constantly and with each war, with each battle, we become better and better at slaughtering each other. What would you call that? Insanity? Perhaps to a degree. But I have another word for it: Practice. Practice for the day when every tribe, every kingdom, every nation could be united as one and make whatever fools who decide to come to our home looking for a fight wish their ancestors never crawled out of the primordial soup.
The Mongolians, the Romans, the Celts, the Iroquois, the Aztec, the Han, the Samurai, the Knight, the Viking, the Maori.... We humans have no end of utterly terrifying bloodshedders.
Thecnology is always an advantage, but an horde of high on mushrooms naked human berserkers with eyes full of hate wearing your friends flayed face skin as a mask charging at you must be terrifying
When the murder-ape that's twice your size who evolved on a world with 4 times as much gravity as yours learned that your kinetic shield doesn't stop his trench shovel:
Average tau vs krieg
@@raidenj1295, Tau didn't had mastery in they're tech because they keep advancing while the Krieg just master of using his shovel to shove the Hell his enemies.
🚬"Listen to me, pal. I know you have a fancy translator device in that "ear" of yours, that can understand what I'm saying. So I'm going to give you a brief history lesson of the human race.
It is one of constant bloodshed, death, destruction, warfare, torture, slavery, and conquest. In the half million years that "modern man" has been alive, it is estimated that we've only had about sixty, non-consecutive years of peace.
All days taken together, that's the rough estimate they add up to. Even in our times of peace, there is ALWAYS at least one person on this earth suffering horribly at the hands of another every single day.
That says nothing about our history of disease. A whole continent was tempered in the fires of the "Black Death", that killed nearly a quarter of its population in just half a century. And out of fear of that sickness, we killed even more of our kind. When we gained an understanding of biology and illness, we learned to weaponize it. We slaughtered entire continents this way. We play and experiment with horrible things that could wipe out the entire world in a matter of days, just out of morbid, hubristic curiosity.
You know, we used to have another species of human on this planet - Neanderthals. Would you like to know what happened? They're dead. We killed them all. In fact, our scientists have a theory, that we experience this psychological phenomenon, known as the 'uncanny valley', precisely because of them - fear of something that looked *almost* like us, but still, very clearly wasn't.
A single nation, long before the advent of ballistics or motorized transport, took over an entire continent over 3000 years ago.
another nation, 2500 years later, took over half of the planet, BY ITSELF. That nation, then gave birth to an even more powerful one, who would go on to harness the power of the sun, and vaporize 100,000 people in the blink of an eye.
Just 100 years ago, we fought the two bloodiest conflicts in the history of this planet, that killed around 4% of the planet EACH TIME." Did you know the MAJORITY of our scientific understanding came from torturous experiments we did on each other during those wars?
Sometimes, you run across a SINGLE human that's so good at conquest, 10% of the world still has his genetics because he had his way with the millions he conquered.
We've always wondered about space, you know; our legends, our stories, our fantasies - what it would be like to travel the stars. We were honestly shocked to find space travel was even possible when we landed a man on our moon. We've been trying to go further ever since.
And in our curiosity, of those stars, we grew a little fearful - we asked "What if we ran across a horrible, monstrous race that only wanted to kill and consume? What if we get destroyed by something 'evil' out there?
Well, we never really did consider the possibly that WE were that horrible race, but after this little skirmish started between your world and ours?
If you think what we've done to each other is horrible, imagine, what we are going to do to you - when we reverse-engineer your fancy saucers, and phasers, and plasma rifles...
And take your world in the name of Man.
Despite all of our infighting and sordid history, there's an interesting thing about mankind - we are naturally more cooperative with eachother than we we are destructive. Because if we weren't, we would never have created the society we have now.
And NOW?
Now we ALL have something to cooperate against.
You just shook the wrong hornet's nest. I hope the 'research data' was worth it.
I know your little 'Galactic Federation' see the fact that a lot of us are still religious as some primitive thing that serves no purpose, but on the contrary, I implore you...
Pick a god and start praying. It's the only thing that's going to save you, now."
"KINETIC BARRIERS DON'T STOP FLAMETHROWERS, MOTHERFUCKER!"
🚬"Listen to me, pal. I know you have a fancy translator device in that "ear" of yours, that can understand what I'm saying. So I'm going to give you a brief history lesson of the human race.
It is one of constant bloodshed, death, destruction, warfare, torture, slavery, and conquest. In the half million years that "modern man" has been alive, it is estimated that we've only had about sixty, non-consecutive years of peace.
All days taken together, that's the rough estimate they add up to. Even in our times of peace, there is ALWAYS at least one person on this earth suffering horribly at the hands of another every single day.
That says nothing about our history of disease. A whole continent was tempered in the fires of the "Black Death", that killed nearly a quarter of its population in just half a century. And out of fear of that sickness, we killed even more of our kind. When we gained an understanding of biology and illness, we learned to weaponize it. We slaughtered entire continents this way. We play and experiment with horrible things that could wipe out the entire world in a matter of days, just out of morbid, hubristic curiosity.
You know, we used to have another species of human on this planet - Neanderthals. Would you like to know what happened? They're dead. We killed them all. In fact, our scientists have a theory, that we experience this psychological phenomenon, known as the 'uncanny valley', precisely because of them - fear of something that looked *almost* like us, but still, very clearly wasn't.
A single nation, long before the advent of ballistics or motorized transport, took over an entire continent over 3000 years ago.
another nation, 2500 years later, took over half of the planet, BY ITSELF. That nation, then gave birth to an even more powerful one, who would go on to harness the power of the sun, and vaporize 100,000 people in the blink of an eye.
Just 100 years ago, almost every single 'nation' we have, fought the two bloodiest conflicts in the history of this planet, that between each, killed around 8% of the entire population. Did you know the MAJORITY of our scientific understanding came from torturous experiments we did on each other during those wars?
Sometimes, you run across a SINGLE human that's so good at conquest, 10% of the world still has his genetics because he had his way with the millions he conquered.
We've always wondered about space, you know; our legends, our stories, our fantasies - what it would be like to travel the stars. We were honestly shocked to find space travel was even possible when we landed a man on our moon. We've been trying to go further ever since.
And in our curiosity, of those stars, we grew a little fearful - we asked "What if we ran across a horrible, monstrous race that only wanted to kill and consume? What if we get destroyed by something 'evil' out there?
Well, we never really did consider the possibly that WE were that horrible race, but after this little skirmish started between your world and ours?
If you think what we've done to each other is horrible, imagine, what we are going to do to you - when we reverse-engineer your fancy saucers, and phasers, and plasma rifles...
And take your world in the name of Man.
Despite all of our infighting and sordid history, there's an interesting thing about mankind - we are naturally more cooperative with eachother than we we are destructive. Because if we weren't, we would never have created the society we have now.
And NOW? Now we ALL have something to cooperate against.
You just shook the wrong hornet's nest. I hope the 'research data' was worth it.
I know your little 'Galactic Federation' see the fact that a lot of us are still religious as some primitive thing that serves no purpose, but on the contrary, I implore you...
Pick a god and start praying. It's the only thing that's going to save you, now."
"Mr. President, an alien mothership is approaching earth, what should we do?"
"Oh finally, we can get rid of all our nuclear missiles stock"
Russia: "Finally, a target which isn't overkill for the Tsar Bomba"
@@ibraheemshuaib8954 Also Russia: "So how do we get the bomb up there?"
Everyone else: "The mothership is 10 feet off the ground - how hard can it be?"
Russia: "You really don't understand how heavy this bomb is"
@@18Hongo Deploy Babushka
Missiles: **runs out of fuel, keeps going** ...
Mothership: **slowly moves out of the way as the missiles float by**
Starship Commander: "Wait, were those arrows? ... Scan them!"
Scan Operator: "Hmm, a primitive form of rocketeer technology that's warheads are made from exactly the fuel source our ships reactors need in the first place."
Starship Commander: "They gave us tribute! The king will be pleased! Soon all motherships will be positioned around this star system to protect our new allies!"
@@18Hongoone muscular Ivan hearing this problem: "hold my beer"
Human laughter would be an absolutely terrifying sound to anything non-human.
Especially the mix of different cultures and dialects that all are laughing at the same thing, understanding exactly what's funny, while the "aliens" see nothing funny.
@@avidkitesWhat would they be laughing at?
@@fancybear5038 a stupid alien with a knife on the chest, calling for help while the help watches with frightened shock.
@@fancybear5038seeing how many Alien heads they can carry around on a Patrol
Being laughed at is scary enough, but if you’ve never heard laughter before it’d sound terrifying. It’s a weird jittering noise that has no compound purpose except humiliation or humor
Aliens be acting gangsta until they learn that our closest genetic relatives are Chimpanzees
That... explains a lot
GIVE EM THE OL’ DICK TWIST
@@SalmonFeet 'nice laser, now allow me to introduce you to mustard gas
Bonobos actually. Still, not an animal I'd mess with.
@@richardmackendrick4342I mean yeah, look at their ass!
Remember lads. We might be primitive to them. But an ape in plate armor swinging around a shotgun is still scary
I just imagine an actual gorilla loose in the zoo swinging around an AK
you're right. I'd be more scared of a man with a sword in my house than a gun
Ape strong
is that a reference to that old astartes vs eldar post? lmfao
@@ndogmarioFuckin lol
The masculine urge for humanity to bond together to destroy one threat
The HUMAN urge to bond together, everyone would fight the aliens, if aliens invaded they probably wouldn't have good intentions for us, so it would be a fight for survival
I only bond together with my aryan brothers. Everyone else is in fact an alien
The great unifier. Nothing brings 2 sides that have a blood feud together like a hostile third party
@@fearthewolf1175 for real, imagine what 8 billion humans could do working togheter
@@frp3337 It would be the greatest achievement in all of history.
When you hear a human regiment scream "Fix bayonets" and overrun your frontlines in a night raid.
You see that one 17 year old American marine that ran out of beef jerky and dip two days ago and hasn't eaten all day starts sprinting at you with his mini shovel.
you hear tenno heika banzai before meeting the end of a katana
@@KanzlerOttoVonBismarck "here comes the sun... fuckin oh no" Japan 1945 probably
Mfw I accidentally activated a genetic memory of the human regiment
(They are in fight mode)
(Pure adrenaline is pumping through them)
(They have next to no regard for their own life and will do anything to kill me)
@@alexanderamayahernandez3912’YOU TOOK MY CRAYON SUPPLY’
The moment when China decides alien flesh makes for great herbal medicine:
LMAO
Best one yet
Alien bones pills
@@koraegiPacific Rim kaiju bone power 😅
This implies that the aliens are made of plants
You think you're a badass until the savage hominids figure out that your flesh tastes vaguely similar to one of their many domesticated flightless birds.
That would make people fight harder
@@Auditer2009 humans are pretty close to pork... I imagine the ETs would be fishier in which case... I do like me some sushi.
@@SonOfTheDawn515so we taste like pork?
@@SonOfTheDawn515 and Calamari
@@warlord8525 if they taste like fried gator tail or fried calamari it's over
when your species has grown up with laser weapons throughout its entire existence and the bipedal mammals start shooting metal at you
*Throw Rock Fast*
*Boil Water Spin a Thing*
And *Caves*
Or for extra funni:
The bipedal apes use dinky laser pistols that _explode you with one _*_weak_*_ shot_
If you didn’t know lasers when encountering fog suffer from thermal blooming. Or any kind of smoke or particles. Meaning you could cancel out lasers with a fog machine. Imagine making a nearly perfect light based weapon only to be defeated by a spirit halloween fog machine and an AK-47
That’s actually a thing in Star Wars. Slugs (bullets) are so forgotten that they can cut through the advanced technology of the galaxy like paper.
@@RomanumChristum if I remember correctly a lot of armor can stop slug throwers but it’s still used for assassination purposes and covert ops.
Remember, human rights don't apply to the alien. Go nuts.
Are you kidding, even most humans don't get "Human rights"...
Those aliens are toast...
what if the alien looks exactly like us?
@@chibisayori20 They only delay their inevitable demise
remember, we arent winning either way, be real lol
@@cro-magnoncarol4017 i mean if they can already travel across galaxies to get to our planet we are most definitely cooked either way use ur brain lmao
When you invade a species that invented a portable star after someone touched their boats.
It's travel sized. Like for vacations.
The nuke was in development long before pearl harbour bombing the finished product of the first nuke came at the perfect time
"Lord Gloobgorb, the hairy things keep chanting!"
"Chanting what Gorbgloob?!"
"Lord, something about a pocket full of sunshine!"
The portable star was the thermonuclear bomb, which was a decade later than the atomic bomb
@@AmericanCaesarianwell. . . he said after.
We may be the equivalent of gorillas waving around AK-47’s to the aliens, but you wouldn’t like fighting a gorilla with an AK-47 any more than the aliens will like fighting us.
Very well said comrade
Last time I checked, 7.62x39mm doesn’t care what species you are.
@@r-fitz9739 based murkrow pfp.
@@uonossn9987 Thanks G
@@r-fitz9739 np G
When energy shielding doesn't do shit against a chunk of metal going +400mph
When the energy shield does fuck all against my Ford F150 going 95 mph
based pfp
@@enviousshogun Thanks dawg. Opposing Force is my favorite Half-Life game
@@D3K43 its been my pfp on discord for a few weeks 😁
@@D3K43hey mine as well... surprised to see one who remembers such a game...
[Every single religious battlecry can be heard in the distance]
_Aliens, realizing all those 'human religious sites' they deliberately destroyed to break humanity's morale ended up making the murder-apes a hundred times more vicious instead_
You know you're fucked up when "Deus vult" and "Allahuakbar" are chanted by same faction.
@@drmaulana2600in that case they are probably in India and somehow destroy many holy sites of hindus and Muslims cause there is a Jai shri Ram chant in the staring.
They really did a good work of uniting both sides and hell is now going unleash upon them.
Ohhh you dumb greenskin freaks fucked up now
Instead of cripple us y’all United us with one, singular drive
Our hatred of YOU
And there’s no greater motivator for Humankind than Hatred of something different than them, so y’all kicked the fuckin hornet’s nest 😂
RIP
"You destroy EVERY holy site to EVERY religion? You will see EVERY pitchfork and EVERY firearm aimed at you and EVERY one of your men."
@@drmaulana2600+100 Melee Damage, +100 Explosive Damage
the aliens watching the "primitive humans" shower their landing zone with rocket artillery
Clanner moment in Battletech.
Truly a smoke jaguar moment @@Toactwithoutthinking
Pov: the monkeys are turning your landing zone into a potato field with same day delivery
Let me add: THERMOBARIC rocket artillery
If the aliens managed to reach us first then I feel like they would be so advanced that any resistance would basically just be futile.
"We were born to inherit the stars"
-Humanity
"And we are not sharing."
That’s one dumb as all hell saying. Galaxy’s massive, no need to fight over it
Born out of oblivion
May we never crumble
We were the sole inheritors of the stars, born for the role
We refuse to share
We are indomitable
Y’all crazy. There’s more than enough space to share. It’s literally infinite.
@@kingcrafteroderderfahradtu7331 Xeno lover, you stay silent.
I see two outcomes in an invasion scenario:
A) Seven Hour War
B) A brutal war that ends with the extermination of the alien race.
The 7 hour war only happened because the government turned on itself out of fear of control loss, do you think global governments will risk losing their pensions because some green men want a new resort planet? Absolutely not.
Any chance the aliens are called the combine and have ''synths''?
@@Mr.Leviathan4545 hmmm
yeah pretty high chance
In an invasion scenario, it's very much going to be an either us or them situation. Either humanity is getting exterminated, or the aliens are. And if the aliens are anywhere smart enough, they'll not even land. They'll take us out in one punch.
That second one is literally Ender's Game though
POV: The Humans have discovered your energy shielding doesn't stop a Molotov Cocktail
when you realise mere riot police gear can protect an officer long enough for him or someone else to put out the fire.
So even something as primitive as a militarized space suit would offer enough thermal protection to render the Molotov almost useless
me in rimworld against all mechanoids
Hungarians in 2056: "weird speaking fuckers invading us from far away... oh right, just use the same procedure as we did 100 years ago, molotov cocktails!"
I always think about acids and diseases, those 2 weapons can be pretty much useful against aliens that never seen those things.
And they brought flamethrowers back just for you.
An alien seing his comrade in a heavy suit being killed by a human armed with a concrete saw
"KLICK MONT TOK'NA SVEI!"
*Translating filthy xeno to Terran standard*
"THAT PRIMITIVE HAS A FUCKING SAW!"
Concrete saws would be an extra-brutal way to get killed. The blades don't cut, instead they slowly grind, tear, and burn away at the flesh beneath the power armor.
No no no him getting killed by *Sapper Shovel (or Field Rifleman Shovel)* or his head being blowed up by 12mm 50gramm sub-sonic piece of metal
An alien after watching his entire division get caught out in the open by a bunch of "primitives" wearing armor, swinging swords, and riding horses.
*revs concrete saw with malicious intent while wearing a Dallas mask*
POV: You're watching in horror as a "florida man" devoures your comrades flesh because he wanted to see what alien tastes like
You mean "IP man"?
Alien Overlord: "What do you mean these apes have practiced killing each other nonstop for thousands of years and developed weapons that can glass planets?!"
Alien Officer: "I..its crazy Milord... while they glassed a nation once, and now preparing to glass more of their OWN BIOSPHERE, ultimately destroying their own civilization through countless of WARS! They were not united... yet, the somehow did after we attacked them! Their sights turned on us! They saw us as a way to unify these Deathworlders have a reason to fight someone that are not of their species! What shall we do, Milord!?"
@assaulthetz As the napoleon meme goes, "There is nothing we can do."
'With this human relic, I summon a piece of the sun'
@@assaulthetz wowzie reddit humanity fck yeah chungus moment
We boutta turn Tatooine into glass 🗣️🔥🔥🔥
The aliens watching as the "feral primates" who used sticks and stones the last time they were on earth now launching actual fucking SUNS at them
And the primates made thousands for some reason, enough to end multiple worlds.
Oh hey, it's The Race if they invaded slightly later than they canonically did.
Get fucked, Lizard.
Dude how did you get so many likes and not even 1 reply?
Sir the bald apes have weaponized nuclear energy
Here comes the Sun, FUCKIN OH NO
When you land in West Virginia and hear a banjo in the distance before being blasted by a drunk hillbilly wearing full camoflauge
Adds a whole new meaning to the phrase "you ain't from around here are ya?"
I am him. I am insane and have night vision goggles with kegs of mtn dew in my basement.
"You came looking for Victory"
"The only thing you will find is an early grave or scorched earth"
"Earth will have its empire, even if it is drawn in the last map of the universe"
They came for our blood but wound up drowning in their own
@@joseocasio3740
"aight bet."
and then the rkv hit the planet.
@@inyrminddamn man, that hits hard
@@creeper326.Thanks, got it from one of my favorite games, Call of Duty: World At War every time you win as the russians
When the humans reverse engineer your computers and now you are watching someone play a " Videogame" called Doom on your screens.
[DOOM music intensifies]
Plot Twist: The aliens have met the Doom Slayer personally and are even more scared.
@@Eternus_transmogrifus49hey so you know that theory that says if we think it’s real, it will become real (regardless of if it’s accurate or not or if the wording is different)?
We find out that we created him-
🤣
Hell yeah
We are the species that cracks jokes about historically tragic events, crack jokes before being brutally executed, and crack jokes while being shot at.
"Me against my brother, my brother and I against my cousin, and all of us against the stranger."
Middle east on the first sign the aliens don't follow any known scripture:
Middle East? The entire world is banding together.
I like your funny words magic man
Allah never said aliens would go to Jannah
This is the best middle east quote that applies here
Imagine your drop ship landing in Appalachia and you lose a third of your squad in the first 24 hours of fighting only to realize that their military hasn't arrived yet.
And then you experience a hurricane.
Too soon?
The locals just assume the aliens are FEMA workers
The locals were in dire need of electronics 😂
A third of the casualties are just from them walking around in Huntington at night.
That's some next level fear
"You humans are all monsters!"
"That's because you killed the nice ones."
When a 20$ drone with a brick of plastic explosives blows up your hyper-advanced mechsuit built to withstand lasers and plasma weapons
Humanos: qué pasa xeno tú trajecito barato no aguantó un explosivo casero
superior logistics and industry will win
@@Joshua-fq9tm yeah but they have to get all their alien xeno-crap from offworld lightyears away. it aint sustainable.
Kinetic energy go boom
The Liveleak logo pops up on their visor cam as some weird bees are heard circling.
"It is Man who is made in God's Image."
"Not *you* creature!" - a pair of legends.
God bless Ignis Corp.
Gotta love Roanoke.
We love Rubix in this household
I love this scenario that aliens invading just activate the 0.00001% of Genghis Khan's genes in all of humanity like were sleeper agents or something.
👀 Activation key phrase is just alien speak
@worldwartanker4542 "Take us to your leaders!"
*One million New Yorkers immediately begin throat singing*
@@thelocalhero6036
That killed me 🤣🤣🤣
*start Mongolian throat singing in unison*
“Humanity will always resolve to be victorious xeno. There is no other option. 7,000 years of warfare have taught us that there is only one certainty in war: woe to the vanquished.”
Vae Victus.
Uhh the guy who said that had his entire culture and people almost wiped out barely surviving on some islands off the end of the known world by the people he said it to… 😂
Just 7k? How about 40k, how about longer than we are even human?
@@Blaidd7542I guess this guy was a bit more successful then
"Sir, after a hard fought battle, we finally managed to secure enemy territories!"
-a xeno vice chief after losing 80% of their ground invasion force to take over a single neighborhood in Texas
Only for them to lose it a few hours later.
You really think they can take a neighborhood in Texas? My dogs will love some xeno flesh.
One by one they fall, they all fall to the .45 ball.
"Remember the Alamo"
"Are we completely sure there aren't any more humans in that specific neighborhood?"
"Maybe a few stragglers. 10 stray people at most."
"Good enough for me." *Hits the funny missile button aimed directly at them*
As soon as you smiled at them. They would be afraid as many animals don’t show their teeth like humans do
"No one told us. We weren't prepared. Training only did so much. They fantasized about this! They dream about invasions for fun! What's with this damn planet?!"
- an alien survivor, maybe
THEY TAKE JOY WHEN THE DEATHS SHOWN UPON THEIR PLAYTHINGS ARE MORE REALISTIC THEN THE LAST
"When they're not doing war against each other, they're simulating doing war in their computers."
Survivor means we missed one
Get the iron chooms, we got another skull we gotta mount on our wall!
*Human WAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH intensifies*
Earth a Death world
"They find joy in dying in an outnumbered fight. Just one took out 20 of ours before it finally collapsed. Something keeps them fighting after the point of death" - aliens discovering adrenaline
Imagine explaining the history of humanity to a tied up alien, in a basement with a bunch of warriors.. then while you get ready to waterboard one, you talk about the horrors humans have done during war times.
"If we do this to eachother, what do you think we're gonna do to you?"
“We’ve done worse to eachother for less, what do you think we’re gonna do to an alien trying to kill or enslave our entire civilization?”
@SalmonFeet first telling them about the wars in history "then, we started looking into interrogation techniques... " grabs a towel and fills a bucket with water "we tested a lot in the 20th century, using all sorts of things..." throws towel over aliens head
@@allaware1971 “…and I bet back where you come from, you have all sorts of horrific ways to torture a man. But look around you pal, you sure are a long way from the comforts and familiarities of home, and you sure as shit ain’t gonna see them again..”
@@SalmonFeet "water..? fuck that, this is what we call _gasoline_ "
"sup jit, you know what a scoville is? nah? good."
Aliens :- "Haha! You cannot win against us in technology."
That 11.4 yottabyte file in the corner :- *evil laughter intensifies*
now that you mention it i have a 40 trillion quentabyte zip bomb somewhere in my file system.
@@MasteriskMusicwhat
@@MasteriskMusic wdym "somewhere in your system" how big is that thing???
You are the one who can destroy alien tech, @@MasteriskMusic
@@MasteriskMusic im... wha... HOW!?
We used atomic weapons in our ONLY AVAILABLE BIOSPHERE.
Yeah - don't mess with us :D
Aliens would obliterate us, they could just send a death ray from the moon if that's what it takes
@@Sir_Baltimore But then there would be no point. Why would they destroy the resources they came for?
@@gabrielc7861 The point is that we should stop trying go pretend like we're stronger than aliens
@@Sir_Baltimore Aliens don't even exist in the first place, so why do you care so much about how people interpret fantasy?
@@gabrielc7861 What would you know about the rest of the universe?
"You want something to probe? I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO PROBE! PROBE THIS!" - The murder Ape behind the railgun, he recently "borrowed."
I can't help but read this in either a really thick southern accent or a really deep Russian one 😂
The previous owner is in a footlocker with a mop handle impaled through his rectum.
@@alexanderamayahernandez3912 If said in a said in a Southern voice, he says it while laughing, if said in Russian he says it bluntly
We don't need to "borrow" their railguns. We have ours.
@Agustin_Leal Yeah but eh they have faster bullets.
The only thing worse than fighting a human is fighting a human that's devolved to the bare essentials.
When the "savage ape" evolved on a planet with five times the gravity of your planet and buries a spade into your skull:
When the higher gravity only enhances kinetic orbital bombardment
@@bartomolev6682 Get away from here, alien!
@@B1_Bis how to lose a war *easy*:
Step 1
Overestimate your capabilities and blindly hope that you will win.
Step 2
Underestimate your enemy military force and ability to adapt to your tactics
Step 3
Enjoy, you just lost
@@bartomolev6682step 4
Fight in unknown territory that has belonged to another species for millennia
@@SigilOfBaphometread his step 2..Yeah, humans are getting screwed in this fight. Europeans annihilated the native americans, even though they hadn't fought in that land ever before. Same is gonna happen here.
"You're surrounded, primate, you have nowhere to run to"
"And doesn't that frighten you so?"
"All I am surrounded by, is fear, and dead xenos."
@@theoink636 quoting vader 10/10
Scared prey is much more dangerous than a predator
“Good, that just means diplomacy time is over. Cause you fell for one of the classic blunders, squid face. HAOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!”
*millions of war cries echo in the distance as the Xenos shit themselves at primitives having led them into an ambush*
The moment they touch down in Romania, they will literally have every single one of their crafts and weapons stolen.
The Romanians will reverse enginer the alien tech and save us all
Or a vampire kills them or something
They can't land in Romania. They have to land in the US and _maybe_ London or Paris.
Last thing the alien sees before he gets swarmed by a group of east europeans so drunk they are unphased by their plasma weapons and armed with machetes (that UFO is about to be sold for more ciggarette money)
I for some reason imagine a sober man with a 12gauge shotgun helping take the UFO.
Ok, this one’s funny
The one that landed in Malawi was disassembled for scrap before the aliens even had time to get off.
@@18Hongo 🤣
Gopniks?
"They... They were everywhere. Everywhere I tell you. Every rock, every tree, every puddle. We burned it all down and they kept coming. From the ash, the mud, the rubble. They kept coming. They didn't stop, they simply did not stop. So many... So many. I watched my brothers drown in their blood. I watched them being torn limb from limb. And I heard the apes laugh. Sire... I don't think I can go back."
Final transmission report of Commander 2nd Class Kun'Tal, 5th Cohort, 3rd Legion, 29th Conquest Armada
And we'll fucking do it again.
The fact that they apparently had to send _29_ Conquest Armadas is epic
@monarchistfront1452 That's not really what I was thinking. A Conquest Armada is a concept I've invented for my fictional universe. It's a massive organization of military power which operates independently. Its purpose is to explore space, seize worlds, and establish footholds for the Empire.
In this instance, it was the 29th Conquest Armada that happened to have found Earth and decided to follow protocol and conquer it. But they lost.
But you can make up your own headcanon that they did send 29 of them 😅
yo when is your novel getting updated?
@@drovkastrak719 what do you mean?
"What rhe fuck is a whale gun?" Last utterance of Lt Flik'ret
Plot twist: Alien on the screen didn’t even do anything yet. He just landed in Chelyabinsk and seeing it was enough for him
Правда товарищ
Самый неожиданный, но базированный комментарий
А потом осколки его корабля раздали на олимпиаде
Nfkrz reference
Они не успеют моргнуть, как цыгане сдадут весь их мазершип на металлолом
Alien invaders when they discover the common cold
Their immune system can't handle it.
Underrated comment
Human defenders when they discover the alien cold
There are nails growing in your throat
@@dotdot5906 had worse
@@dotdot5906Ending: Nobody wins
Average flu symptom
Imagine landing in seemingly devastated city, then realize that unlike in training, humans' guns and crossbows ignore your energy shields and go through them like it was nothing. And the last thing you see is a berserk pregnant human woman about to hack your head into half with a fire axe.
When the aliens realize what "going apeshit" really means.
“Admiral, authorize the A.P.E protocol”
The trees start speaking vietnamese, the snow finnish, the trenches Ukrainian, the rooftops Korean, the one place you gassed Russian, and then the sky starts speaking in fortunate son...
All fun and games until your own trench sings oh canada
Let the world itself cry the voices of its people, all banded under one name, against all that would dare to crush us from beyond the stars:
Humanity.
And let that voice cry with the bellows of artillery, the rage of the GAU-8. The roar of an F-22 and the chants of any crazy enough bastard willing to fix a bayonet as he sprints to reenact a jousting match with some little xeno bastard that thought Earth was a perfect little spot to vacation after wiping out the people born to inherit the stars.
So you retreat into the plains where you think you're safe....
But then hear the thud of horse hooves and Bogurodzica
@@grzegorzbrzeczyszczykiewic9767
And as you retreat into the woods for cover, you hear “SS Marschiert in Feindeslande” as you get raked from the rear by MG3s and HK416s.
And then the approaching car starts singing in arabic...
"You were in the war, right, Grandpa? Tell us about the murder apes! What were they like?"
"They were the meanest creatures we'd ever seen. They were monsters... they stalked around on their hind legs, and they ate, breathed, and spoke with their mouths just like us, but... they were nothing like us. They were tall and skinny, and twice as heavy as any one of us, and so strong. They could pick you up with one arm and swing you around like a toy! They had hair on their heads, and big teeth with sharp canines. And their eyes... when I looked into their eyes, I saw millions of years of evolution staring back at me, millions of years of murder, war, and pain that had chiseled these creatures into what they were.
"They carried these big, long metal-throwers with knives on the end. Your photon shield *might* stop the flying metal, if you were lucky... but it wouldn't stop them from impaling you. Have you ever seen someone survive a direct hit from a disintegrator? Well, they could... all it would do is burn them and make them mad! You might think you're strong, but you'd be scared stiff if you'd ever have to face down a murder ape charging you full-speed with the knife on the end of his metal-thrower pointed right at you! All the other animals on their planet were terrified of them, even the big predators. We were all scared, too...
"Then, one day, they got ahold of our photon shield technology. That was it, the war was over. We turned and ran..."
"But grandpa, they told us that we left because there was nothing of value there?"
"That's a lie. We ran from that place, ran scared like prey running from the predator. Those beasts had beaten us, but we just didn't want to admit it. They stole our technology and drove us away. It's terrifying to think that monsters like that exist out there; big, lumbering creatures with cunning and intelligence to match. Murder apes are the reason we invented metal-throwers ourselves, in case we ever have to deal with them again. If those creatures ever manage to make it off of that wretched planet, the very foundations of creation will tremble in terror..."
"Grandpa, the murder apes won't ever be able to reach us, will they?"
"..."
Oh yes they will
The ... Might haunt the kids for the rest of their lives
The UNSC: Hello there. Pretty planet... Would be such a shame if something happened to it.
Humanity 3/4 way on their March to the alien planet:
@@SDS_Bus remember Reach
"Compared to what we're going to do to you, the Battle of Teutoburg Forest is going to look like a f---ing tea party!" vibes
@josemitakodachirecruit2004 Ironically enough, this is pretty much exactly what the Romans did to the Germans after Teutoburg
@@obiwankenobi4252 and then Rome kept getting sacked until all of their other poor choices accumulated into a split and crumble into nothing.
@@SonOfTheDawn515 lmfao Rome got sacked thrice and it was 400 years after Teutoburg
@@obiwankenobi4252 thank you for repeating me
When the artillery stops, the true hell begins.
Then you realize, the artillery doesn't need to stop, it just needs to walk forward. Canadians used this during WW1. Their foottroops would follow behind a bigguns barrage
Alien hears a swarm of humans charging with bayonets while screaming Roma invicta.
who said we're stopping the artillery fire?
@@zequadragaming8984 Logistics officer that tells you, that all stockpiles are already depleted. Not a single nation today is ready to wage a full scale war because nobody has strong enough military industrial complex to outproduce spendings of artillery shells
@@Naumovych_Dmytro let me rephrase my question: did you really think the artillery bombardment will stop, just because we're ordered to affix bayonets and charge?
What you hear before a manhole cover hits you at Mach 40.
LMAO THAT MANHOLE COVER
Wouldn't it be funny if the manhole cover saved humanity
@@frp3337sadly, it didn't reach space (someone acrually ran the numbers on it), but if it did, that'd be amazing
@@QueenLuxmi it didn't because it probably vaporized by the unbelieably physics denying speeds, but if it hadn't it would of probably reached proxima centauri in a few millienium with that speed
Aliens thought we can’t even exist with ourselves
But they didn’t realized the only reason we keeped fighting ourselves was because there wasn’t anything better than us
And now, humans have someone to compete with. And we are very competitive species
We drove the mammoth extinct with nothing but sticks and stones.
Let's see what we can do with our new toys.
Yeah we didn't *start* at the top of the food chain. We climbed to the top on a ramp built from the bones of anything that threatened us, inspired us, or amused us or was useful to us.
Even our own pets we kill ourselves because we think it's more humane.
Which I still think is true, but it is funny how it often works out that way isn't it...
I'll give the dodo and Australian megafauna as some examples of animals that are dead merely because they weren't sufficiently afraid of us.
Our love, care or even curiosity isn't enough to spare you from the wonton and rampant death we spread.
Fuck casual racism. Let’s go competitive
@@snoiper-bp9vf we've gotta top the racism competitive ladder
The thought of modern day superpower like US and China abandon their senseless rivalry and ideological differences, and joined together is quite scary for anything but them lmao.
Bet that their union would gone as soon as the thing that make them unite disappear
"Let me tell you something about humans, Nephew. They're a wonderful, friendly people... as long as their bellies are full and their Holosuites are working. But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those same friendly, intelligent, wonderful people... will become as nasty and as violent as the most bloodthirsty Klingon. Don't believe me? Look at those faces. Look in their eyes."
-Quark, Deep Space Nine
For those interested: The episode is called "The Siege of AR-558"
"They irradiated their own planet?!"
@@GeoStrebertwice, may i add
@@yawarapuyurak3271 Twice is an UNDERSTATEMENT.
Two thousand five hundred and fifty eight nuclear explosions in just our own history, nevermind the Eugenics Wars in the fiction. It is nothing short of a miracle that Earth is still habitable.
@@yawarapuyurak3271More... So much more than twice, the majority most of the times afterwards were done in uninhabited areas and at least 1 instance (that we know of) where the US was testing the effects of radiation on their own people
“You’re surrounded, human.”
“All I am surrounded by is fear, and dead aliens”
They gonna learn the hard way that it was man made in God’s image
God isn't real and if he is he hates us
Aliens: *Do stuff.*
God: Hey, watch this. *creates humans in His image.*
Aliens never imagined that a bunch of 'civilains' are all able to fight like their Cast Warriors.
civilians turning into a disorganized guerilla fighter cells the moment the frontlines cross their property
@kenamintoastcrunch yup, that's the US for you.
@@gabrielc7861European here. We might not have as much fire power, but flamer fuel, endless concrete and forests will be a fine substitute!
@@Yumao420Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition + Never attack Russia in the winter = Ultimate star inheritance
@victorvirgili4447 never attack humans during the winter. Such a pity we have atomic winters on command 🥶
0:28 is a time-freezing superweapon no invaders could survive
*Humanity has been fighting each other for tens of thousands of years*
*Aliens arrive and starts shooting shit with pew pew laser guns*
*Humanity stops fighting each other and looks over at the aliens*
"You don't seem to understand. Earth isn't yours to conquer."
*(UN : you will be happy to know Omni-Man based anabolic steroids have been legalize for warfare! Enjoy doing your part!)*
"We were born to inheret the stars"
“Their technology was primitive, such a young species, we had thought them a weak target, but we had no idea. Our weapons were better, our tactics reliable, and our first battles were quick and easy, but they never stopped, they never surrendered. As time went on, they only fought harder, and smarter. We leveled their cities, we burned their forests, collapsed their networks of communication and supplies, but they never stopped. We gunned them down, blew them to dust by the thousands, but they kept coming. Weakened and starved, lacking proper weapons, their resolve never diminished, they fought on with nothing but rage and the instincts of the hunters they were. Months into the war, it became clear that despite all our planning, all our technology and resources, we could never hope to win. We were facing an enemy that would never break, never yield until we were gone. We were a stone trapped in the tide, slowly worn down by a force too massive to resist, and so we left them. We fled into the stars and far away from this world of beasts, praying they never find us, because we cannot survive being on the other side of a second war.”
"I suggest we could nuke the entire planet if colonization went south."
-Alien with a common sense.
Hits hard
@@SomeBoEdy10012 If the aliens had a goal of colonization, collecting species/humans/resources, that would be counterintuitive.
That was magnificent. Bravo!
“But, despite our efforts to escape into the stars; to flee amidst the inky, endless void….they….
They *pursued* us. They hounded us like the Hellbeasts of Klethraki V, unrelenting, unceasing as they had been in our war against them.
We know not how they came to take to the stars in so short a time, but this revelation, nay; this *omen* , bode ill for us all.
And as I transcribe this; this potential last, remaining vestige of our people, I warn any who survive this war, and those as well who may try to do as we had done.
DO NOT. ENGAGE. THE HUMANS. Never a more persistent, ruthless, and adaptive species had our people met before them; or a species more driven by their undying hatred for those who disturbed their societies.
But attempting to euthanize these humans, purge them from this…Earth, to colonize for the great Gathraki Empire….it has only brought upon us our ruin.
Do not make the same errors that we had; to any and all this transmission reaches or will reach, save yourselves! Before it’s too late.”
1:05 seriously, i LOVE these sounds, there needs to be a movie where aliens and humans fight each other in ground combat, with equal technology like that.
World Invasion: Battle Los Angeles is a good one.
years of prep wiped out by some fellow with a 70 year old rpg
Welcome to Earth, you picked the wrong species to mess with
As a legend once said, *"YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE FOOL!"*
"We are not the monsters they claim us to be...but if you dare trespass upon our planet, we shall be more frightful than your worst nightmares."
Cool
*Proceeds with saturated orbital bombardment
@@bartomolev6682nukes
@@bartomolev6682 *Proceeds to either blast down the alien ship with thousands of nukes or blast down the ordinance launched by the ship
Imagine being an alien soldier landing in Finland only to hear snow screaming "PERKELE!"
Always remeber kids: Its not a war crime, the first time and the Geneva suggestion doesnt apply to non humans
Geneva checklist ☝🏻
The Geneva Checklist is never a thing for aliens
@@Lt_RedNose oh, we'll make it a checklist alright
@@Lt_RedNose We'll probably increase the checklist like a Wikipedia article.
@@KawaiiMr.Dimpleslmao
I forget how terrifying us humans are.
It’s easy to forget.
We are the best bro
We are monstrous
humans are the ultimate apex predators on earth for one single ability alone that God honored us with unlike other predators which is the ability to create and use tools also don't forget how crazy powerful the human male can reach in term of strength especially when adrenaline start pumping those tiny green goblins look alike hollywood aliens don't even stand a chance in real life
The enemy will never forget us
Army general: Quick in and out 2 week adventure.
3 years later:
sounds familiar
Ukraine
Everybody gangsta until a big looking bird starts dropping bombs
"C.. Commander!! They've uploaded a virus onto all our ships!!"
"They......WHAT!?!?!?!"
"The virus appears to go by the name of 'Bonzi Buddy,'"
"What is that "Windows"?!"
10/10 reference
@@clanjebb2017 He’s a primate like us, and also he’s the buddy. We’ll call him part of our special forces.
"The display is also showing something"
"Why is it all pixels?"
"I don't know, but there's a message saying "'Holy shit, this also runs DOOM'"
“While you xenos were mastering the art of space travel we were mastering the art of war”
we gon find out what alien tastes like
Underrated comment.
Alienussy 🤤🤤🤤🤤
@spaceenjoyer8304 sending this to your employer
Probably either slimy or synthetic
@@gimmeyourrights8292 only one way to find out
"Do you know what a 'gun' is? Horrible, chemically actuated mass accelerators. The humans loved them, completely bypassed our infantry shields. They had all sorts of psychotic flavors of the damned things; hand cannons, bomb launchers, auto-repeaters, scattershots, stupid huge slug throwers that they built specific vehicles just to carry.
I fought on the 'hammer' offensive. Do you want to know what happened? First we had to fight hoards of screaming, psychopathic, beasts armed to fang with psychotically advanced slug throwers just to secure the landing zones.
Then we had to pacify the civilian population... That was the worst part... There were these gangs of particularly demented humans on Objective City 'shi-ka-go'. They would just appear out of nowhere and just... Open up on a patrol squad. Five or six of them with these horrible things we called 'stubbers' because of the sounds they made. The vehicle didn't even stop half the time. The natives called it a 'drive-by'.
By the time reinforcements got there, the squad was either dead or horrifically maimed, with the last soldier left firing blankly down an empty street. Things weren't any better on Objective Cities 'Mi-Amee' and 'Nu Or'leenz' where the locals disappeared into the wisdom forsaken swamps on rafts propelled by stupidly powerful fans.
The fact that we were able to get off that hellhole without the loss of a hyperdrive or its plans was a victory in its own right. We left a lot of other tech behind to accomplish that, and I'm pretty sure they've been tinkering with it while we were gone. To be blunt, I think it's only a matter of time before they figure out Hyperdrive technology on their own or some messed up equivalent. I can only hope the higher-ups have a plan for when they do..."
-Testimony of a Xidrethian soldier returning from the failed Hammer Offensive.
"We thought it would be easy, from what we had seen. Poor and unmotivated people. But the heat, the cold, and the terrain, We thought there would be nothing because of the lack of infrastructure, so it would be something easy, right? How wrong. We were landing and we heard impacts on our ship, I and my partner already knew that everything would go wrong.
As soon as we landed we could expand, yes, but the jungle, the forest, the cliffs and the mountains made it difficult. The constant sabotage, the apes came and shot, so as soon as they arrived they left, the few we captured were psychotic or something similar, something they had because pain did nothing to them, but we heard something in common "viva El ejercito" or "Tomen Balas de los moustros." were strange, but we tried to move forward. The time and everything went wrong for us. I don't know if I will return... but I hear the sound of the apes' weapons now. coming to the "sierra madre" I don't know how my comrades will fare in Operation Hammer."
- Letter from a Xidrethian soldier in the midst of the failed Operation Broken Eagle further south
"The situation was worse In the Region of "Iistern Yu-rop". Especially In the Nation of "Yu-krayn". When we arrived there, The place was absolutely desolate. It was clear that a Large scale war was fought here. We thought we'd have It easy. Everything seemed abandoned. No signs of life anywhere, Only the occasional creatures of Earth which were no threat. How wrong we were. When we were attacked, We thought we were fighting rebellious citizens. But we were wrong. The humans we fought were cunning, Ferocious, Absolutely violent. In the "forests" and "provinces" We are often attacked by humans wearing primitive equipment that perfectly blended In with the environment. While In the more urban Areas, We were almost always attacked by human soldiers that wore equipment that was of a darker green color. What was strange was from the things we have found here, Writings on walls and the destroyed machines, We have discovered that "Yu-krayn" and another Nation called "Rus-shya" were at War with each other long before we arrived. And that now, Their soldiers are not fighting against, But alongside each other. It was true. The rumors were all true. Humans fought each other because they couldn't fight anyone else but themselves. And now that they have a common enemy, We've only made things better for them, And worse for us."
"thats not better from what our forces encountered in an area what they called Ga' Za, when we arrived there we see natives fight eachother in a desolate landscape, we thought they're fighting for scraps and it would be easy for us to conquer them, and we finally know how wrong we are when we see those conflicting natives, stop the fight and joined together to defend that desolate landscape from us, suddenly none of our ammunition couldn't hit the area and plethora of munitions, both sophisticated and improvised, are hitting our ship left and right, we're lucky we could escape with this condition "
"And that's not even the worst part, our forces entered an area what they called was myaa'namar they discovered locals fighting which They thought was for resources untill they realised the locals were fighting themselves and they promptly engaged in a tactic they called 'gu rilla warfare' and overran our forces with extreme precision "
"My brothers and I deployed to the region of Umeir-Ikka called 'App-ul-eycha'. Heavy scouting and reconnaissance across the mountain ranges, for the first two days things went well. We captured and tortured a human native for information... we thought it would be easy, but... he would not break. The civilian showed impeccable willpower, and consistently referred to us as 'cryptids' in its primitive tongue. We were getting nowhere, and had to terminate the subject and move on. Little did we know... that was just the beginning. We began being picked off, one by one. Improvised traps, long-range mass accelerators they call 'sniper rifles' slew my cadre one by one, and when we finally caught the ones doing it... they weren't even military personnel. We had believed we were being hunted by an elite stealth-operations squad, and how wrong we were. Before we knew it, we were surrounded, cut off from our landing point, and after three grueling weeks... I was the only one to make it back. I am officially tendering my resignation."
When you're been invading the "Humanoids" Home Planet for so long that their governments have fallen but they resorted to so called "Guerrilla Tactics" and are unwilling to surrender (There's no stopping these primal beasts)
When you disabled their vehicles with EMP but now they are charging towards you on horseback
The first word in Human rights is “human”
Unalienable rights do not pertain to aliens
“I stand firm against the alien, the mutant, the heretic.”
“I grant no mercy, I give no ground.”
“With pride I wear the symbol of my chapter, and join my brothers in war.”
“I am Iron, I am Wrath, I am DOOM.”
Ave Imperator!
Hearing Heilung in the midst of a combat can make everyone shit their pants. Even Aliens.
Real shit lmfao
"It's psychological warfare, you've never heard of it, alien filth?"
Psychological warfare my beloved
ESPECIALLY aliens
Which is ironic given that their philosophy is mostly peaceful from what I’ve understood. But hey, if pushed far enough…
In do or die times humans can be terrifying
In do or die times left only ones who DO, others die.
Every cruel thought a human can think of is a reality it can inflict. Our capabilities are terrifying
As soon as Humans realize that the alien's Energy Shields doesn't block 5.56 rounds, you're extremely screwed
You when the murder ape finds out that you can't breathe phosgene (it's going to shower your landing location with 10 tons of it in 3 minutes):
"Oh, you have lungs AND gills? that's cool, try and breathe this shit in bro"
The aliens found out that our leaders were only. There to keep use sane
Bruh, remember, we made rules to shackle ourselves and for good reason.
For we understood the horrors we could inflict upon each other
When you're in your base in the middle of the night and find a room temperature IQ human rushing at you with his shovel and a crayon in his mouth
Ooh-rah!
As soon as they touch down in Scotland the bagpipes are gonna start playing and their gonna be really screwed when someone yells "Give em steel lads give em steel"
"They've waged war on each other throughout their recorded history, they couldn't settle their differences even to resist us"
*A few [relatively short increment of time]s later...*
_"We were fools! They are born to live through struggle, and their infighting came only after subjugating their world! Comfort drove them mad, and our threats gave them clarity!!!"_
i love this one
Amen brother amen.
Too kek. ❤
“If God wanted you to live, he would have made you in his image”
-Literally all Humanity
When the evolved ape has the button to smash your troops with the power of the sun
Amazing. They came here expecting an easy fight, not… *this.* They thought that most people would surrender after seeing the aliens’ superior technology and weaponry. And while a few *did surrender* (cowards, the whole lot of them), most humans didn’t. They simply hunkered down, and started preparing. And when the aliens came to attack a group of humans, the humans attacked with a *ferocity* the likes of which the aliens had never seen before. It was that moment, they realized it wouldn’t be an easy fight. As they just picked a fight with a species willing to fight down to the last man in order to win.
Project Sundial. If we can't keep Earth, no one can take it
POV: your friend Schlorp told you its an 5 minute adventure but not told you about Warhammer 40k fanatics, Furries in kevlar and the Raiders of area 51
Furries in Kevlar is so real tho lmao
@@Auzzymandias Their fur suits are actually power armor lol.
@@randomka-52alligatorthatis34why do you think that mess costs that much? 2 steps ahead
@@randomka-52alligatorthatis34 can confirm. that this 100% true
@Auzzymandias Remember, the likes of batman and owlman are technicaly in furry armor as well
You came here with your spaceships & your laser, but it turns out your skull splits just like anyone else's. That's all we needed to know.
aliens after translating the history books and learning the kind of hell humans are capable of doing between each other now realising they have the entire human species united just to kill them:
Three hundred thousand years my species has existed, it not a very long time compared to the cosmic scale of the universe and perhaps it's nothing compared to how long your kind has been around, but throughout those three hundred thousand years my species has been fighting each other constantly and with each war, with each battle, we become better and better at slaughtering each other. What would you call that? Insanity? Perhaps to a degree. But I have another word for it: Practice. Practice for the day when every tribe, every kingdom, every nation could be united as one and make whatever fools who decide to come to our home looking for a fight wish their ancestors never crawled out of the primordial soup.
Quote from the Emporor of Mankind
We've learned the ways of the Mongolians
The Mongolians, the Romans, the Celts, the Iroquois, the Aztec, the Han, the Samurai, the Knight, the Viking, the Maori....
We humans have no end of utterly terrifying bloodshedders.
All of Vietnam: HERE WE GO AGAIN
Praise be Genghis Khan.
Thecnology is always an advantage, but an horde of high on mushrooms naked human berserkers with eyes full of hate wearing your friends flayed face skin as a mask charging at you must be terrifying
The aliens have become really silent after the Shadow Wizard Money Gang learned how to remove math from the universe.
physics is next