I'm in the uk and watch all your videos I'm trying to get my life back iv just gone back on methadone and everyone is saying I'm still not clean even though I see this as a big step into sorting my life I think everyone in life will judge me no matter what I felt happy thinking I'm doing the right thing but in everyone's eyes I'm still smackhead no matter what I hope you are all good God bless
@@michaelsmith7328 Don’t let anyone tell you anything. They don’t know how BAD the withdrawals can be. It’s inhumane and a downright agonizing HELL to go thru. People always say they wouldn’t wish it on their worst enemy....lol....I would. But anyways Michael....you do what works for you and don’t pay any mind to anyone who wants to be negative.
@@michaelsmith7328 I'm in methadone to and yes you are clean ..we don't say people who take high blood pressure medicine isn't clean cause they need it or they could die... same with us
Derek I admire how you sit back and just let your brother speak. He looks like he's in shock and not sure what to do next. He's lucky you're there to support him.
I don’t know how the hell you managed this. The withdrawl must have nearly killed you. Good for you talking about it. The hardiest of men can’t do this. Strong really. You will get there and never go back you are a lovely guy x x
Been watching your vids and also Rockin Roberta’s channel. These channels are a god send for me! Seriously inspiring and so needed right now. I’m almost there. Clean just over 2 years on sub and detoxing off that now. You got this Kurt. You have awesome support from your bro. You are loved! One day at a time, just get through each day, one moment at a time, knowing that at the end of that, there is a beautiful & simple life waiting for you. Meetings, prayers, good food, exercise, more meetings, keep going! You deserve this. Praying for you & your strength. Won’t the real man please stand up! Be true to yourself. You got this! Breathe and do what you gotta do for your family 💖🙌🏼🌟
Keep it up Kurt man your doing it bro. There's no turning back now. There to many things to look forward to. Things will get better, you wont always be in this state of mind. There is hope and God is with you every step of the way. One day at a time man one day at a time. God bless the both you. Thanks Derek for being that support and motivation for me and everybody else. Stay up
Discovered your channel today.. Didn't think you could look any better from when you first started detoxing but you do. Glad you did it for your family and yourself. Your wife must love you so much for that. Your kids too. I don't do the drugs you did but I do smoke weed. It's about the same(in a way) because both are drugs. I plan to stay sober and stay away from bad friends. I agree with your statement about "god" I do believe in a high level energy within every one of us though. I've listened to it before but I gave up.. I know what to do to stay clean.. Wish me luck y'all. 💯❤
I'm rooting for you Kurt I'm so glad your on the right track. I'm 24, was on heroin for 6 years, speedballing the last year of my addiction in Baltimore (where I'm from) I got clean on May 29th 2017 and it was so hard at first ND detoxing but I was so surprised how quickly my life started improving at that time being clean, even my physical health and my looks. Then I realized how beautiful life can be. I been clean for over a year now and I still try to remind myself of the sickness and all the pain I was in being on dope, And I still look torwards the beauty and good things in life. Life can. Be truely beautiful and yours can be too, I promise if you stay clean you won't go nowhere but up
So good you're clean, so good you're brother is right by your side, so good you're alive. Kurt, you're getting better. That's not bullshit, you really are getting better. Keep it that way. Take the darkness into the light and just leave it there. You are light, you are important. Love yourself and... Peace!
I did 40 days in Sacramento County - during Covid, which wd from kratom. Now its not methadone and H, not even close. But time sure was going backwords. They only let us out for 15 minutes a day for shower/phone calls. We were getting 500 calories a day MAX. Food was awful. Bright ass lights always on, loud as mofos screaming all day/night, cant sleep. It was a fucking nightmare.
Hang in there. No matter what your body and brain is telling you DONT USE!!! Pray to JESUS! Thank him for your daughters and everything you can. Talk to other addicts or alcoholics. Reach out work out keep busy. Your almost there. Your doing good brother. I was 17 days once and the only thing that really gave me any purpose to keep going was the satisfaction i got when i talked to someone who was going through what i was going through. Thanks for posting this because i know damn well theres people withdrawaling on their bed watching this wishing they were 17 days clean. I know i was watching your brothers videos dope sick all the time and it helps. Im 26 months clean and sober today and if i can do it so can you. God bless
Omg! Kurt is Sober!!! I wanted to see this happen so bad. I prayed for you Kurt and I knew you would one day be sober! And Derik, thank you so much for sharing your story and documenting everything. I’ve been struggling with Heroine but I am off Heroine and on subutex and I plan on beginning to ween myself off that within the next two weeks. Every time I ever thought about quitting I thought about you. You inspired me. Thank you!
My SO flushed my sub on the 13th of may. I'm still sweating and goose bumps and stomach is Hella fucked up. I found this channel on about day 8. Stay with us. It works if you work it, or at least I've been told. So much of what you said could have came directly from my mouth. I got mad love for you both. Update us soon! BTW I went on a boat about day 12 and almost drowned myself because the wind and hot sun and water was too much for my nonexistent body temperature control.
20 days off methedone I’ve been on since I was 17 I’m now 36.... sleep still sucks still have the sweats.. how you exaplained it is exactly how I felt but no seizure I got pretty low befor I jumped off but it was still terrible mostly the anxiety and crazy thoughts I have 4 kids and couldn’t cook or clean or think about any responsibilities for like 8/9 days.. then I had such a lack of motivation. Now I have more energy but my sleep is so shitty
Oh and one last thing... DO NOT LOSE HOPE. You have so much potential inside you....just bring it out and use it and see how far you'll go brother. I'm rooting for you
It’s like I know you guys! You guys are helping me so much!!! I look at your videos over and over and they help me so much. Never thought I’d be the one like this!!! Thank you so much for helping me stay strong and positive!!! I will defeat this fuckin shit!!!!!!!
Brilliant stick with your family, I'm 53,still fighting, I'm clean but at sompoint using enters the mind, it gets shrugged off,there's nothing rong with u bro ,another 17 days and ull be on it ENJOY THE SUN,and your family ❤
Great news Kurt, 1 day 1 hour 1 minute, keep up the great work, you have your Bro and you have us, even though you don't know us we all do care about you and your Brother, luv take care CJ
Ive been following your videos lately derek you are an inspiration, being there for your bro is great, i was always the one to be strong and stop using while my sister couldnt, now the tabels have turned, i let myself and my family down so bad im struggling to forgive myself but i got to so i can move forward.
Good to both of you. Derek, I had seen one of your videos about 2 years prior. It's great to see this video, great to see this progress. Keep strong, both of you.
I like lisyrning to you and watching the other guy's reactions. I hope you kept at it 'cus you obviously did the hard part! I have no idea how things are now. You're good at describing missery!
I couldn’t even imagine cold turkey 85mg of methadone, I’m currently detoxing from 12mg of methadone and damn it’s hell.. the depression/ and no sleep and trying to just pass time it’s brutal
People say "you're just trading one drug for another" Not when you're putting a needle in your arm. Taking a pill over sticking a fucking needle in my arm isn't trading one for another. It's saving my life.
As someone who kicked heroin by getting on a methadone program I know exactly what you’re going through. I’m on maintenance 90ml a day of methadone and coming off that is horrible. It got me off the gear though so that’s all I’m bothered about. Methadone works for some people and not others. It works for me. Everyone is different.
Yea man, I once came off in jail of 120mg methadone, man I didn't sleep for 2 weeks, bonded out but had a pov 30.do 15, I just existed. I paced and layed in the floor. No help at all. It was one of the hardest things Ive ever been thru. And still it took 15 to 20 more days on the street to start feeling better but that pain kept me clean and I'm grateful to not forget that pain. God bless y'all and as addicts we are stronger than people give us credit for. I'm praying.
After the 30 day mark, you will wake up one day and feel normal. No more chills, goosebumps. You might not mentally feel okay for awhile but physically you will. But don't go back, you made it so far. I went on vacation for a week in Cuba, little did I know I forgot to pack something. Had to withdraw there.
Holy shit dude.. I would have dropped to my knees and cried like a little bitch. Fuck dude, I get so mad at myself and the whole world to the point of tears when I JUST miss the clinic one or two days. One time, not really all that long ago, I had fucked off and left myself no xtra time leaving to go to the clinic (still daily doser, Im workin it slowly) so of course, as my luck would have it always, I get behind slow dumbass drivers over n over again and then a big accident happened a few miles ahead of me and they blocked the road and made people detour, I missed by fuckin 1 piece of shit minute. So the next day I'm sick as fuck of course and since it's a brutal 1.5 hr drive each way, by myself boring as fuck, even with being sick u still just wanna not do anything but I still left early, at least I fucking thought I did, well my piece-of-shit drug-addict self completely forgot it was a Sat. and I didn't leave as early as I should have. I was off by an hour when I was thinking "Hell yeah Im here early and ima feel better". Shiiiit when I saw that empty parking lot dude, sick as fuck already, and at the time my phone was off, it was hot out and the truck had no AC, 1.5 hr from home, if i wouldve had a gun I would have done it dude, I was so pissed i cried, I hated myself. I was already (and still am) dealing with major depression everyday. So idk how you did it man. You must've had support from loved ones cuz if not something aint normal with you, your brain would have to be made outta titanium or something. I aint got anybody man and my home state is roughly 900 miles away and it's tough for me, so Cuba? Fuck that. Pssh dude your a fucking trooper. Thanks🙏🏼. Reading your post was a little bit of inspiration that I needed today.
I started h back in 1994 in England and the gear was very strong stuff in those days, I did a detox with my twin brother while my father watched, it was horrendous, I've been on and off ever since, I had 8 and a half years clean during that time but ended being back on it very quickly, having good friends and family is so important when giving this shit up, it's amazing how quickly you can forget about it when spending time with good people, friends and family etc.
I started on H back in 98 in U.K, yeah the gear was try strong back then!! , i dont see the point smoking it today, I just pin it, well i dont have a choice because of my needle fixation , but back then, smoking it was HEAVY gouchin wish i never started, going to try and quit, I wished they had H scripts like they do in Germany and Netherlands etc..
Great video. I also make videos about getting off drugs. I had a seizure the last time I went through withdrawals too. I was strapped down to the hospital bed when I got out. I’m going to be making a video about the experience I had in jail when I should have been on 40 mg methadone and they started me on 150 when I got to jail. Was on that for 4 months. When I got out of jail the methadone clinic wouldn’t even give me my drink because my dose was so badly screwed up. I’m clean since sept 23 2018. I’m working my way off methadone still though. I’m at 48mg today. Going down 2 mg every other week. Great videos
I'm sorry you have to go through this. I'm 33 and been going through it since 27-28. It is horrible. I know Lopramine is dangerous but I only take the recommended dose of 16mg a day and it helps alot. My withdrawals aren't that bad. I remember I would catch bad anxiety if I couldn't get any pills but I'm alot better. You both are very good looking guys. Stay strong
Don't I know how that jail thing goes! I'm trying my best to brother. You got this l, it's just life man. Don't beat yourself up. There is other things out there than throwing your life away for a lil bag that takes all your money and your life. I'm talking to me too.
bro stay with methadone. Its way better than Heroin, you dont ever have to get off it if you dont want to. You can have any job you want if you still have a good record. Take it from me, I was a Police officer for 10 years while on methadone. Im still on it, and now i do privite security work. Stay up bro.
man I have the same storie as you. not exactly but close. jail was a wake up call man. everyone in there talk in about getting out and getting high and all I could say to them is man I want a ice cream. Dont you guys want a ice cream when ever you want? fuck this shit let's not come back guys. I'm glad you made it bro. but I think the reason most the people want to get high on there is because nobody has a real good family. my mom showed up to court for me and the court officer told her he is the firstparent he has ever seen show up for there kid
Hey Derek!! I just touched ur nose at the beginning of ur video nd suddenly u started to rub it 😄as u felt the sensations 😘nd love to see u as a handsome guy who has recovered.. Nd i likeð to see u laugh 😛😄so good 😊 Hope u'll be true inspiration for ur bro nd all others who need ur guidance.. God ßless 🙏
Fuck man this brings back memories I came off 70ml it fucked me right up for about a month to 8 weeks but got there in the end relapsed after 3 months back on methadone only 40 ml I'm going to start reducing soon do another home detox I've had 19 years of heroin and methadone it's fucked my body up completely my health was so bad over Christmas was in hospital for over two months nearly died from a heart and kidney infection it suck I just want to be happy I've never got into the business of the criminal world apart from when I fist got on it and I was homeless.
How do you guys feel about kratom, would you consider it "using"? That might be a viable option here, during the end of methadone wd. I'm 19 days off opiates, just using Kratom. It's a miracle for feeling shitty mentally. Would love to know ur opinion.
And detoxing off methadone, you probably won’t start to feel right again until after about 6 weeks or so. That’s how long it takes, because it’s such a long lasting substance. It’s horrible , a lot worse than gear. But it got me off the gear so it’s the lesser of two evils. It’s legal though.
Just found this channel. Really like the honest perspective. Do you still drink? or smoke weed? or are you clean from everything for this whole time? What about caffeine?
its disgusting they don't give you a reduction in jail, should at least give you a 2 week taper, even a week, anything to help bring you down, people have died detoxing of heroin and methadone in jail.
PLEASE ANSWER! Can anyone tell me how long I have to wait to take my first small does of methadone since my last use? Does methadone send you into precipitated withdrawal? Need answers thank you!
Dope sick separates the men from the boy's. Nothing on this planet compares to the physical and mental turmoil of heroin withdrawals. Even this doesn't stop most people from doing it again and again and again etc etc. This is the power of addiction, powerful. ✌🏻☘️
@@deeppurple883 yea man I been through both and let’s be real, both are shit however fent withdrawals come quicker , and they are far more severe and far more intense. I mean I was getting sick 2-3 hours after my last hit when I was using heavily.
Hang in there my dude. I’ve been sober over 6 months. Prepare for 6 weeks of hell. Longevity use rewires the body chemistry. So it’s not going to adjust instantaneously. Try to get comfort meds from PCP. Take it hour by hour. You will be so grateful getting on the other side.
I’ve followed you guys for a while, proud your beating/trying to beat however seeing your charge sheet as child abuse on your sheet was a bit of a shock.....
I'm just like kurt as far as.meetings go.man fuck.em.smh and I dont see any light at the end of the tunnel at least he has a wife and kids. Man I'm a 33 about to be 34 year old loser with nothing except a felony and living with my mom. No hope as far as staying clean long term man idk bro
If you are or a loved one is struggling with drugs or alcohol text me immediately. I'm here to help (509) 866-6710
I'm in the uk and watch all your videos I'm trying to get my life back iv just gone back on methadone and everyone is saying I'm still not clean even though I see this as a big step into sorting my life I think everyone in life will judge me no matter what I felt happy thinking I'm doing the right thing but in everyone's eyes I'm still smackhead no matter what I hope you are all good God bless
@@michaelsmith7328 Don’t let anyone tell you anything. They don’t know how BAD the withdrawals can be. It’s inhumane and a downright agonizing HELL to go thru. People always say they wouldn’t wish it on their worst enemy....lol....I would. But anyways Michael....you do what works for you and don’t pay any mind to anyone who wants to be negative.
It takes a real man to do what ur doing. Keep it up
@@michaelsmith7328 I'm in methadone to and yes you are clean ..we don't say people who take high blood pressure medicine isn't clean cause they need it or they could die... same with us
@@nacoleaddison9197 I do sit and think what have I done it's the only thing that gets me going and pre gabblins
Derek I admire how you sit back and just let your brother speak. He looks like he's in shock and not sure what to do next. He's lucky you're there to support him.
Yea, wish I had big bro like derek
I don’t know how the hell you managed this. The withdrawl must have nearly killed you. Good for you talking about it. The hardiest of men can’t do this. Strong really. You will get there and never go back you are a lovely guy x x
You’re good guys, I’m sorry for your struggles, I’m in the exact same boat you’re not alone. Thank u for updating. Your a good brother too man.
Ronny Sunshine - I am rooting for you 🍀 Love & Light to you and yours ✌
I think that this is a really important channel and can really benefit some people, thanks for sharing your experiences guys.
Gursimran Athwal True even though people when they’re on the shit won’t listen 👂
12 days clean off heroin and cocaine I feel the exact same way brother can't stop thinking about how I feel 24/7 feel like I'm losing my mind
Derek you seem like the best big brother out there look after Kurt real nice lads all the best to you both from the uk
Keep trying, and keep making videos. Your effort is motivating so many people who are going through the same thing. You're a hero
Been watching your vids and also Rockin Roberta’s channel. These channels are a god send for me! Seriously inspiring and so needed right now. I’m almost there. Clean just over 2 years on sub and detoxing off that now. You got this Kurt. You have awesome support from your bro. You are loved! One day at a time, just get through each day, one moment at a time, knowing that at the end of that, there is a beautiful & simple life waiting for you. Meetings, prayers, good food, exercise, more meetings, keep going! You deserve this. Praying for you & your strength. Won’t the real man please stand up! Be true to yourself. You got this! Breathe and do what you gotta do for your family 💖🙌🏼🌟
Gretchen Murray Actor - You are a warrior! Love and light to you and yours ♡
💜🙏💜
Keep it up Kurt man your doing it bro. There's no turning back now. There to many things to look forward to. Things will get better, you wont always be in this state of mind. There is hope and God is with you every step of the way. One day at a time man one day at a time. God bless the both you. Thanks Derek for being that support and motivation for me and everybody else. Stay up
I am so happy for you Kurt. Glad you made it out of there safe. Please keep vlogging guys. I NEED this too.
Proud of you both!🤗
Discovered your channel today.. Didn't think you could look any better from when you first started detoxing but you do. Glad you did it for your family and yourself. Your wife must love you so much for that. Your kids too. I don't do the drugs you did but I do smoke weed. It's about the same(in a way) because both are drugs. I plan to stay sober and stay away from bad friends. I agree with your statement about "god" I do believe in a high level energy within every one of us though. I've listened to it before but I gave up.. I know what to do to stay clean.. Wish me luck y'all. 💯❤
Stay strong brothers, the light is near always seek the truth
zex .x the truth will set you free
I'm rooting for you Kurt I'm so glad your on the right track. I'm 24, was on heroin for 6 years, speedballing the last year of my addiction in Baltimore (where I'm from) I got clean on May 29th 2017 and it was so hard at first ND detoxing but I was so surprised how quickly my life started improving at that time being clean, even my physical health and my looks. Then I realized how beautiful life can be. I been clean for over a year now and I still try to remind myself of the sickness and all the pain I was in being on dope, And I still look torwards the beauty and good things in life. Life can. Be truely beautiful and yours can be too, I promise if you stay clean you won't go nowhere but up
So good you're clean, so good you're brother is right by your side, so good you're alive. Kurt, you're getting better. That's not bullshit, you really are getting better. Keep it that way. Take the darkness into the light and just leave it there. You are light, you are important. Love yourself and... Peace!
Kurt's content has been helping me stay sober man this is great stuff keep going bro stay clean
I did 40 days in Sacramento County - during Covid, which wd from kratom. Now its not methadone and H, not even close. But time sure was going backwords. They only let us out for 15 minutes a day for shower/phone calls. We were getting 500 calories a day MAX. Food was awful. Bright ass lights always on, loud as mofos screaming all day/night, cant sleep. It was a fucking nightmare.
Proud of both of you guys keep moving forward little kids need to see this
Hang in there. No matter what your body and brain is telling you DONT USE!!! Pray to JESUS! Thank him for your daughters and everything you can. Talk to other addicts or alcoholics. Reach out work out keep busy. Your almost there. Your doing good brother. I was 17 days once and the only thing that really gave me any purpose to keep going was the satisfaction i got when i talked to someone who was going through what i was going through. Thanks for posting this because i know damn well theres people withdrawaling on their bed watching this wishing they were 17 days clean. I know i was watching your brothers videos dope sick all the time and it helps. Im 26 months clean and sober today and if i can do it so can you. God bless
Omg! Kurt is Sober!!! I wanted to see this happen so bad. I prayed for you Kurt and I knew you would one day be sober! And Derik, thank you so much for sharing your story and documenting everything. I’ve been struggling with Heroine but I am off Heroine and on subutex and I plan on beginning to ween myself off that within the next two weeks. Every time I ever thought about quitting I thought about you. You inspired me. Thank you!
Like your brother says man it's a lifetime decision you'll thank yourself after like a month.
Keep moving forward!!! If you stumble just get back up and get going.
You'll make it bro.
My SO flushed my sub on the 13th of may. I'm still sweating and goose bumps and stomach is Hella fucked up. I found this channel on about day 8. Stay with us. It works if you work it, or at least I've been told. So much of what you said could have came directly from my mouth. I got mad love for you both. Update us soon! BTW I went on a boat about day 12 and almost drowned myself because the wind and hot sun and water was too much for my nonexistent body temperature control.
20 days off methedone I’ve been on since I was 17 I’m now 36.... sleep still sucks still have the sweats.. how you exaplained it is exactly how I felt but no seizure I got pretty low befor I jumped off but it was still terrible mostly the anxiety and crazy thoughts I have 4 kids and couldn’t cook or clean or think about any responsibilities for like 8/9 days.. then I had such a lack of motivation. Now I have more energy but my sleep is so shitty
Good job Kurt you look awesome brother. Glad you learned a valuable lesson, don’t ever go back to that hell again man. 👍💪
Oh and one last thing... DO NOT LOSE HOPE. You have so much potential inside you....just bring it out and use it and see how far you'll go brother. I'm rooting for you
It’s like I know you guys! You guys are helping me so much!!! I look at your videos over and over and they help me so much. Never thought I’d be the one like this!!! Thank you so much for helping me stay strong and positive!!! I will defeat this fuckin shit!!!!!!!
Brilliant stick with your family, I'm 53,still fighting, I'm clean but at sompoint using enters the mind, it gets shrugged off,there's nothing rong with u bro ,another 17 days and ull be on it ENJOY THE SUN,and your family ❤
Great news Kurt, 1 day 1 hour 1 minute, keep up the great work, you have your Bro and you have us, even though you don't know us we all do care about you and your Brother, luv take care CJ
Jails, institutions and death are real not just a saying ☠️. You are worth much more than that! God bless you on your recovery journey. 🙏🙏🙏
He is right nights are the worst. I dont wish this on my worst enemy. And doing this in jail is cruel and inhuman
The bad goosebumps, good description, I can definitely relate to that.
Ive been following your videos lately derek you are an inspiration, being there for your bro is great, i was always the one to be strong and stop using while my sister couldnt, now the tabels have turned, i let myself and my family down so bad im struggling to forgive myself but i got to so i can move forward.
Get some support! It’s time for a change! Xooxx
Good to both of you. Derek, I had seen one of your videos about 2 years prior. It's great to see this video, great to see this progress. Keep strong, both of you.
You’re a real good brother Derek
Bros just keep going you guys can do this! God bless you
Kurt I am rooting for you 🌸 you're a warrior and never forget that. Love and light to you and your brother ♡
Been there, done that...brutal withdrawals......I really hope you’ve finally hit your rock bottom so you can embrace Recovery....#nomatterwhatclub
for the best you are a strong guy you got this
I like lisyrning to you and watching the other guy's reactions. I hope you kept at it 'cus you obviously did the hard part! I have no idea how things are now. You're good at describing missery!
Thanks Derek. I needed theses videos
Stay strong bro
Haha, nice to see you again Kurt. You guys should try live streaming.
I couldn’t even imagine cold turkey 85mg of methadone, I’m currently detoxing from 12mg of methadone and damn it’s hell.. the depression/ and no sleep and trying to just pass time it’s brutal
People say "you're just trading one drug for another"
Not when you're putting a needle in your arm. Taking a pill over sticking a fucking needle in my arm isn't trading one for another. It's saving my life.
good luck for your future use your brother as inspiration.
Thay fatigue is no joke along with the head games
I hope he is doing good now🙏
This video couldn't have been suggested at a better time, I'm going through pretty much the same
As someone who kicked heroin by getting on a methadone program I know exactly what you’re going through. I’m on maintenance 90ml a day of methadone and coming off that is horrible. It got me off the gear though so that’s all I’m bothered about. Methadone works for some people and not others. It works for me. Everyone is different.
Yea man, I once came off in jail of 120mg methadone, man I didn't sleep for 2 weeks, bonded out but had a pov 30.do 15, I just existed. I paced and layed in the floor. No help at all. It was one of the hardest things Ive ever been thru. And still it took 15 to 20 more days on the street to start feeling better but that pain kept me clean and I'm grateful to not forget that pain. God bless y'all and as addicts we are stronger than people give us credit for. I'm praying.
Thanks for sharing I’m tapering off Methadone 2mg.
I’m there bro I feel ya ... shit sucks had to take a few days off of work to do my detox .. day 2.5 going back tomorrow .. if I can
American jails take the piss
After the 30 day mark, you will wake up one day and feel normal. No more chills, goosebumps. You might not mentally feel okay for awhile but physically you will. But don't go back, you made it so far. I went on vacation for a week in Cuba, little did I know I forgot to pack something. Had to withdraw there.
Holy shit dude.. I would have dropped to my knees and cried like a little bitch. Fuck dude, I get so mad at myself and the whole world to the point of tears when I JUST miss the clinic one or two days. One time, not really all that long ago, I had fucked off and left myself no xtra time leaving to go to the clinic (still daily doser, Im workin it slowly) so of course, as my luck would have it always, I get behind slow dumbass drivers over n over again and then a big accident happened a few miles ahead of me and they blocked the road and made people detour, I missed by fuckin 1 piece of shit minute. So the next day I'm sick as fuck of course and since it's a brutal 1.5 hr drive each way, by myself boring as fuck, even with being sick u still just wanna not do anything but I still left early, at least I fucking thought I did, well my piece-of-shit drug-addict self completely forgot it was a Sat. and I didn't leave as early as I should have. I was off by an hour when I was thinking "Hell yeah Im here early and ima feel better". Shiiiit when I saw that empty parking lot dude, sick as fuck already, and at the time my phone was off, it was hot out and the truck had no AC, 1.5 hr from home, if i wouldve had a gun I would have done it dude, I was so pissed i cried, I hated myself. I was already (and still am) dealing with major depression everyday. So idk how you did it man. You must've had support from loved ones cuz if not something aint normal with you, your brain would have to be made outta titanium or something. I aint got anybody man and my home state is roughly 900 miles away and it's tough for me, so Cuba? Fuck that. Pssh dude your a fucking trooper. Thanks🙏🏼. Reading your post was a little bit of inspiration that I needed today.
I started h back in 1994 in England and the gear was very strong stuff in those days, I did a detox with my twin brother while my father watched, it was horrendous, I've been on and off ever since, I had 8 and a half years clean during that time but ended being back on it very quickly, having good friends and family is so important when giving this shit up, it's amazing how quickly you can forget about it when spending time with good people, friends and family etc.
I started on H back in 98 in U.K, yeah the gear was try strong back then!!
, i dont see the point smoking it today, I just pin it, well i dont have a choice because of my needle fixation
, but back then, smoking it was HEAVY gouchin
wish i never started, going to try and quit, I wished they had H scripts like they do in Germany and Netherlands etc..
U both are amazing.U both are saving my life im watching these videos everyday.Im struggling so much.i will text.i want to feel normal too 😥
2 months off methadone used H to get off 100mg for 13 yrs. Been off H for 3 weeks. Pawsss just lingers. Feel you one hundred percent man
Great video. I also make videos about getting off drugs.
I had a seizure the last time I went through withdrawals too. I was strapped down to the hospital bed when I got out. I’m going to be making a video about the experience I had in jail when I should have been on 40 mg methadone and they started me on 150 when I got to jail. Was on that for 4 months. When I got out of jail the methadone clinic wouldn’t even give me my drink because my dose was so badly screwed up.
I’m clean since sept 23 2018. I’m working my way off methadone still though. I’m at 48mg today. Going down 2 mg every other week.
Great videos
Darek your a good bro man
the fatigue is unbelievable
trying hate it it's hell
I'm sorry you have to go through this. I'm 33 and been going through it since 27-28. It is horrible. I know Lopramine is dangerous but I only take the recommended dose of 16mg a day and it helps alot. My withdrawals aren't that bad. I remember I would catch bad anxiety if I couldn't get any pills but I'm alot better. You both are very good looking guys. Stay strong
Withdrawals can happen from weed to?
Don't I know how that jail thing goes! I'm trying my best to brother. You got this l, it's just life man. Don't beat yourself up. There is other things out there than throwing your life away for a lil bag that takes all your money and your life. I'm talking to me too.
bro stay with methadone. Its way better than Heroin, you dont ever have to get off it if you dont want to. You can have any job you want if you still have a good record. Take it from me, I was a Police officer for 10 years while on methadone. Im still on it, and now i do privite security work. Stay up bro.
Praise God you're clean!!! ☺ 💕 👍 XOXOX XOXOX
XOXOX XOXOX XOXOX
It's harder to get off methadone than heroin . Keep the faith.
I'm praying for the both of you! Jesus loves you!
man I have the same storie as you. not exactly but close. jail was a wake up call man. everyone in there talk in about getting out and getting high and all I could say to them is man I want a ice cream. Dont you guys want a ice cream when ever you want? fuck this shit let's not come back guys. I'm glad you made it bro. but I think the reason most the people want to get high on there is because nobody has a real good family. my mom showed up to court for me and the court officer told her he is the firstparent he has ever seen show up for there kid
I’m in England and we’re lucky that when we go to prison and the person is addicted to opiates they get methadone in there.
want to shut my mouth but I can't stop thinking about it
about how my poor ass hurts I'm exhausted
THE TURTLE SUIT! That shit sucks bro been there
Do they not have opiate protocol in your jails? I guess not enough people have died in jail
Cumberland county new jersey .. i detoxed in there many times ... thst place is a hell hole
Can I cold turkey heroin to methadone and use methadone just to taper down from heroin withdrawals?
Kurt how are you coping with your sobriety ?
Hey Derek!! I just touched ur nose at the beginning of ur video nd suddenly u started to rub it 😄as u felt the sensations 😘nd love to see u as a handsome guy who has recovered.. Nd i likeð to see u laugh 😛😄so good 😊
Hope u'll be true inspiration for ur bro nd all others who need ur guidance.. God ßless 🙏
R u still clean now
Fuck man this brings back memories I came off 70ml it fucked me right up for about a month to 8 weeks but got there in the end relapsed after 3 months back on methadone only 40 ml I'm going to start reducing soon do another home detox I've had 19 years of heroin and methadone it's fucked my body up completely my health was so bad over Christmas was in hospital for over two months nearly died from a heart and kidney infection it suck I just want to be happy I've never got into the business of the criminal world apart from when I fist got on it and I was homeless.
Same thing happened to me 120 milligrams of methadone that shit took over a month to kick.. it’s way easier to kick dope
How do you guys feel about kratom, would you consider it "using"? That might be a viable option here, during the end of methadone wd. I'm 19 days off opiates, just using Kratom. It's a miracle for feeling shitty mentally. Would love to know ur opinion.
And detoxing off methadone, you probably won’t start to feel right again until after about 6 weeks or so. That’s how long it takes, because it’s such a long lasting substance. It’s horrible , a lot worse than gear. But it got me off the gear so it’s the lesser of two evils. It’s legal though.
Just found this channel. Really like the honest perspective. Do you still drink? or smoke weed? or are you clean from everything for this whole time? What about caffeine?
Joseph - Kurt does drink caffeine but isn’t doing other stuff
its disgusting they don't give you a reduction in jail, should at least give you a 2 week taper, even a week, anything to help bring you down, people have died detoxing of heroin and methadone in jail.
PLEASE ANSWER! Can anyone tell me how long I have to wait to take my first small does of methadone since my last use? Does methadone send you into precipitated withdrawal? Need answers thank you!
Methadone is an opiate and it will not put you in precipitated withdrawals you
all I wanna do is cry and call ah ah ah no no no
Dope sick separates the men from the boy's. Nothing on this planet compares to the physical and mental turmoil of heroin withdrawals. Even this doesn't stop most people from doing it again and again and again etc etc. This is the power of addiction, powerful. ✌🏻☘️
Man comin off of fent is worse , it’s heroin withdrawals but so much more intense . It’s seriously unbelievable
@@jdaman3960 I can only imagine if H is that bad. ✌️
@@deeppurple883 yea man I been through both and let’s be real, both are shit however fent withdrawals come quicker , and they are far more severe and far more intense. I mean I was getting sick 2-3 hours after my last hit when I was using heavily.
Day 5 off methodone of 75 mg with and herion in between and I’m listening to all these videos kicking chicken in bed all night ... ehhhhhh
I feel for you bro. I'm trying to kick 90 mgs of methadone right now
Hang in there my dude. I’ve been sober over 6 months. Prepare for 6 weeks of hell. Longevity use rewires the body chemistry. So it’s not going to adjust instantaneously. Try to get comfort meds from PCP. Take it hour by hour. You will be so grateful getting on the other side.
what? I want to slot my throat
all the above
dam
This is amazing man... but I see that fortnite in the background
I’ve followed you guys for a while, proud your beating/trying to beat however seeing your charge sheet as child abuse on your sheet was a bit of a shock.....
Kurt!!!! You got ppl pulling for you from all over the nation. Fucking turtle suit dammit. I'm sorry that anxiety is too much.
My SO and I would go thru a brick in 2.5 days.... so glad Mr. Brownstone is out of my life.
Flashbacks.
I'm just like kurt as far as.meetings go.man fuck.em.smh and I dont see any light at the end of the tunnel at least he has a wife and kids. Man I'm a 33 about to be 34 year old loser with nothing except a felony and living with my mom. No hope as far as staying clean long term man idk bro
Come join my discord and talk with us bro. discord.gg/wcqbM9r
STICK WITH UR FAMILY,AND WHEN U FEEL LIKE USING PHONE UR BRO
Good story, bad sound,
hang in it's gets worse
just saying
This might be off topic,but is that Fortnite on your tv