how to: OVERCOME NEGATIVE PATTERNS
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- Опубліковано 2 жов 2024
- HOW YOUR CHILDHOOD EFFECTS YOUR ADULT RELATIONSHIPS
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“What happened in your past is not your fault. It had nothing to do with you.” Now I’m crying.
Dear Alexa that part hit me hard !
Check out the 4 Agreements Book. Its a game changer. There are 4 of them. Its a simple way to remember never take anything personally.
@@1love847 please send a link, is that a book? Sounds interesting
Christinah Blaai 4 agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
that book is amazing
"Do not accept lower because your parents set the bar that low" ❤️
Ella Sarol DEEP
Whew girl I needed this. Forgiveness is so tough.
I'm James Inman and I approve this comment 👍
“no man is going to come and make me whole” amen! I can listen to you talk all day
Re-parenting yourself is gold! What I’ve been doing is looking at myself in the mirror and seeing my inner child then I talk to her by looking at myself in the mirror. I am the grown up and I speak to my inner child in the mirror by calling out my childhood name and saying all the things I wish I heard as a child. ❣️
Lovely
I do that daily..... I thought it was a mental condition...
😢😢😢😢😢❤❤❤❤❤that is truly beautiful!!
Oh wow...that just might work!!!
I’m starting this.
Your self awareness & the lessons you've learnt over the years & are now passing on is genuinely so beautiful & admirable. Thank you for sharing girl x
YourGirlSudanny - Thank you ♥️
A cheating man is not my portion . Speaking this into existence
Absolutely love this
The brain works in positives. May I suggest "Healthy, wise, kind men are my portion." Or whatever you do want to speak life into :)
Grace Lewis I was just about to comment this too! Peace and love my sisters ✌🏼
@@gracelewis6071 spot on, totally agree on this. We create our own perception and perception is reality
Lorraine Natasha LOUD AND CLEAR
“Your type is dysfunctional” well damn Breeny, I wasnt prepared to be exposed like that 🙃
4_10October same🤣😭😭😭
Stable people do not always come from stable homes.
Suzanne Doke that’s why I made sure to state “with exceptions”
I did not hear it like that. There are exceptions and she mentions that. But the majority of stable people, yes they do come from stable homes. Most people in unstable homes do not take the more narrow path of becoming better. Don’t live your life in offense. She even gave you her story of her home life which was anything but stable, now look at this woman. She has changed MY life through her growth. This woman is fulfilling her purpose in this life and will be at the right hand of God. Will you?
Unstable people come from unstable homes. And the other way around is generally true too but there are exeptions ofcourse.
She said there are exceptions
That's why she said with exceptions.
You say you"re "sexually Liberated" but YOU'RE HURT... That touched me so deep down inside, I used to be that very same girl.
Venus Chappie right?? damn.
Yes me too. Until I had a child with a highly narcissistic individual. Now I’m so done with people.
Abena C don’t stop your shine for ANYONE! Narcs can’t be helped unless they want to be. We will be the best we can be for our babies! ✌🏾❤️
I felt that !!!!
“Self love is the foundation and love is the icing on the cake” is one of the most beautiful and true things ive ever heard!
¿Qué parte del remix de "Don Don" te gusto más? 🤔
➡️ What part of the "Don Don" remix did you like most?
You’re speaking my life ....... alone, isolated, introverted , followed by being severely bullied, sexually abused. These things did attracted the wrong kinds of friends , narcs, sociopaths etc , and behaviours that didn’t serve me . I recently came back to my faith ,. Crying watching this. Because I’ve reached a certain age now . No husband for me by now , looks like a life of celibacy, which is fine. Yes our happiness is an inside job . All of us who have been through these things , and don’t see our own value , we are still here .
Love your channel 💓💓💓💓
Sending love and blessings your way💜
You probably need the alone time, to focus on yourself and heal to avoid repetition.
If you need a husband he ll show up at the right time.
Goodluck healing Sis....
Me too. I am about to accept that living single and alone is my destiny
I wish you greatness, you are loved, God is always there for you 🖤
I can totally relate to what you experienced in life..God Bless and keep you!! 😌🙌🏾🙏🏾
Thats why women we all need to Love and understand each other. We can help one another
Omg you had me in tears. When you said "Forgive your parents" 😭😭😭😭 I’ve been soo angry with my mom for so many years because of the choices she made that has affected my life in the most destructive way... thank you for this video.
Forgive her! And if you are religious, pray for her. I am in the same situation and I can guarantee she needs it as much as you do. I hope you and your mom can one day come together in love, peace, and kindness. 🙏❤️
this title alone is coming for my NECK
sorry I don't understand what this means?
nick smith 😂😂😂
nick smith lol basically I feel attacked because it’s a direct message to my life... lol hope that helps
@@muralmica aah ok got you, I understand now it directly resonates with your life
i just cried laughing at this!
“We come into this world alone and we come out of this world alone” This changed my life and perspective. It hit me like a tonne of bricks in one of your other videos and also relieved me. Thank you Breeny you are a blessing to this generation I look forward to your future videos.
Dysfunctional parents breed broken kids. Turn your pain into passion and your wounds into wisdom. I have a father , but he isn’t my dad. I live with my dads ex wife - my caretaker not really a mum.
She's your mum. She may not be your "Mother" but if she takes care of you and actually cares for you, that can be a better situation than being with the mother. It's how your treated rather than the title that is important
@@Belihoney I don't think she cares. There's more to this story, in the same way, there are two sides to the coin. It's larger than a "simple" divorce. Just because someone is family, doesn't mean they have the "best" intentions for you. The statement "actually cares for you", yes she does fulfill her parenting duties, but her dharma (the eternal and inherent nature of reality, regarded in Hinduism as a cosmic law underlying right behavior and social order) duties ... never did.
Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.
We all have daddy issues in some way shape or form 😕
Rachel Nicole I have Mommy issues and I feel like that hits harder.
@@ItsKimmyAlexandra same
Dear Alexa what is Dady iseus / mommy iseus ?
All kinds of damn issues, who else? Say IIII
It’s weird but a good dad can make dealing with men as a romantic prospect tricky. I had a wonderful father figure but he passed away in my late teens. We were family and he took good care of me, but he was also just a wonderful gentleman. Very smart, kind, funny, well-mannered and debonair...all my girlfriends from school adored him. We also shared intellectual compatibility and enjoyed each other’s company. We were best friends.
I think after his passing I assumed it was IMPOSSIBLE to meet a boyfriend or husband with all or some of his great qualities. So I really lowered the bar in who I dated. I married an unsuitable man and the marriage failed for obvious reasons.
I get it now. If you are accustomed to being treated lovingly and respectfully, provided with a stable peaceful home, and enjoying good rapport... it’s NOT spoiled or unrealistic to require similar treatment from a life partner. I don’t expect a second dad, but I can’t accept inconsistency or abusive treatment from my husband.
Can’t wait to heal my inner child and be a better adult
Breeny.
Sometimes I get sucked into old patterns and I immediately play your videos and voila- I’m back.
Thank you.
✨
Oh yeah me too
Totally agree thank you Breeny
Thank you for this! I didn’t realize how many things I was doing out of spite of childhood trauma until this past year. I’m still trying to break some of those bad habits and generational curses. I suggest every young woman, especially us black women to dig into your childhood and find out what bad habits you’re carrying from it! ♥️
are you a psychic? like seriously every video comes at a time where i need to hear your exact words..you’re magical Breeny.
ps : yes i cried.
Next vid suggestion: How to find our passion in life
Thank you Breeny
Love,
Every emotionally damaged QUEEN
Zuri Reynolds Thanks for this
"We have to be people that overcome , rise and go above and beyond what our parents did." Say it louder for the people in the back!!!
I really needed to hear this. Never knew how my childhood effected my adulthood. Makes a lot of sense and breaks my heart. 💔😭 I don't even know where to start to heal.
Yaya B - Start with acceptance. Sending virtual hugs 🤗
@@BreenyLee Thank you sis! I appreciate you and the videos you make.
"You're type is dysfunctional" Sadly, this is big facts.
Wow, literally feel like we lived the same life
It’s sad but it’s the truth, I’m filled with so much anger I cry when I speak about it but this therapy is gonna give me the help n closure I need I’m hopeful
14:28 is definitely facts. Once you start to heal yourself and acknowledge God in all your ways he will not only direct your path, but bless you and show you the truth as to why life happened the way it did. I literally just recorded how my life has improved without no social media (besides youtube) for over two years because I want to help others heal and share the benefits
Hoping you get a podcast🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
This is a year of rebirth for me. After my mom passed away 6 months ago, I was thrown into a whole new level of maturity. I'm 34 and realizing how blind I was throughout my 20s. It's refreshing to hear a story that I can relate to. :-)
Ebony R. B. - sending love ♥️
For some women who have suffered through rape or violation from an older person who you trusted it can really distort future relationships. I pray we all get healing. I need it.
Amen sis,u ain't alone
“What happened in your past was not your fault” thank you!
Nothing else excites me like your update!!!!
Breeny, you are a real life angel! Thank you for sharing your old soul wisdom with the world. Lets all heal and grow together :)
Julia J 💋♥️
“Reject you before you reject me”-me af🤯
This is really hard to take in . I admire you for having so much courage to talk about childhood trauma. I don’t know you personally , but I can resonate with everything. Much love from
📍 San Francisco , CA
I really felt that part on reinforcement and how the lack of love and affection at home can lead to deeper issues. I feel like this is the reason why I tend to be emotionally unavailable. Breeny please do a video on emotional unavailable people😭
you are really anointed. I don't even know if you know that but you are.
Love your videos. You feel like my big sister giving me her wisedom when I need it. Love 💕
Did someone say self sabotage...? 😰 currently, I am in a loving, healthy, secure relationship. However, I am my own enemy. I was doing great with my partner for almost a year and now I feel like I am crashing and slowly burning... I have plenty of childhood trauma in different areas which I’ve been learning to heal from. These hinder me in my relationship. It’s a bit easier to deal with it on my own but now I have a beautiful partner who is INCREDIBLY understanding and patient with me, which makes me feel even worse. 😖 You see what I mean here? Anybody else?!
Thank you for providing this wonderful content and keeping it 💯 with us. Sending love and light.
Who are the 4 haters who disliked this video?!
That's exactly who they are "Haters"!!
13:00 “what happened to you in your past was not your fault. It had nothing to do with you”...thank you❤️
You are speaking the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
I had a childhood that shaped me for adulthood before I was even one 😑 finally embraced it so that I can move another step in life without thinking of how much I've been through 😐it's all thanks to God😇🙏
that’s right😇😇😇😇🙏🙏🙏🙏
I believe she’s a goddess
Its called LOVE BLUEPRINT.
You're Blessed, because I still don't have a partner who truly loves me and now in my 40's.
Same here...i do have a son though.
@@sixteen.candles.4644 I've got a son also
"forgive your parents" that broke meeeee they really didnt know any better... i am crying.. but i do appreciate the release.
Breeny, think its time u go for the degree in psychology n b a licensed psychologist
My husband is so cold its because his mother is a narcissist
And i am struggeling to get him Open up and speek about his feelings
i See that he enjoys my Love but he struggles showing his Love back
What can i do girl?
I Love him so much and he is such a good men i want to help him heal
Is marriage therapy an option or individual therapy for him? Also if you’re Christian, it may be wise to seek spiritual guidance from a spiritual advisor like a pastor or an elder within a Christian community and ultimately prayer and lots of engaging in spiritual warfare.
Wow wow wow wow! This girl is what I call reflective and outspoken. Breeny you’re literally my life coach. May god bless and protect you and yours. Thank you really. I’m gonna forgive my dad and re-parent myself!
I’m in therapy right now for this topic, my childhood has affected n is still affecting my adulthood and I’m currently in therapy and reading Breaking the spirit of Rejection recommended by my therapist, it’s sad but it’s true
The big sister I never had and have always wished to have and now I’ve found one - Breeny Lee! 👑❤️ Thank God for you and thank you for such powerful words! You are changing lives!
Haven't seen my dad since I was 14, and now at 20 I still find myself attracted to guys who end up leaving me out of nowhere. Working on loving myself and living for my inner child
Every single word hit home. You spoke no lies.
I think many black folks in the western world especially are dealing with a lot of trauma. Fatherless homes, domineering mothers etc etc
So many women grew up with a mother who saw the as a rival.
So
Many men grew up with a mother who turned them into a son husband.
My sympathies to all.
OMG I just had a phone call with someone and gave the exact same advice. As I was talking to them I kept asking myself was this the right information to convey. This video confirmed and affirmed that everything I told them was spot on. Thanks so much!
WHEW! This video struck apart of me I was not prepared to feel. "I hope you guys aren't crying now"...I am but I needed to feel this.
You're right..It's taken a lot for me to take the blame off myself..I'm 43 years old and still struggling to reach my goals..But I didn't grow up with the right circumstances to achieve my goals and it seems nothing but bad luck and negativity has followed me ever sense..I'm tired of playing with these deck of cards paying for other peoples sins.. I'm gonna fight for the life I DESERVE.
Dealing with loneliness in winter while overcoming negative patterns :P
My dad never wanted to be better parent. I forgive him for what he did to me, the constant abuse but he did know better and I still dont understand why he did what he did to me. But I don't feel I'll ever be free from it. My boyfriend of 4 years left me, the most beautiful human ever because he fell out of love. Nothing I could have done would have saved our relationship. We broke up in the nicest way possible. He told me "I'm not the man you need anymore, you are beautiful, kind and I love you but I'm not meant to be yours" it was the hardest thing to hear. I've realised that rejection especially men hurts me so deeply because I was never loved by own father. I thought this beautiful man ,my boyfriend would never leave ever! I thought finally a man I can trust with my heart. But life isnt like that. Now I find I can only rely myself and I find myself never wanting to open my heart ever again. I feel the wounded child that I thought I had healed all over again. I can feel the desperate little girl craving love, attention from anyone but I fight that feeling everyday, I am determined to not spiral out of control. I want to heal my own heart and fill it with self love and know that i do not need a man to love me, I'm hopeful I'll get there one day. your videos seem to help when I'm feeling lost and self destructive. You have helped me in many ways. Thank you.❤
I didn't know how deep I had buried my past until this video. I've cried my eyes out 😭😢... Thank you so much Breeny for being our big sister and wanting us to be the best us we could be. I love you
Those words are so powerful and painful too. Really have a lot of difficulties to go trought my destructive childhood. Thanks wish that we all get trought it to live an healthy adult live. Btw almost 30 yo hope the change is gonna come asap
Thank you for your encouraging words. It took me years to acknowledge, accept, and overcome my childhood/teenage trauma. In my mid 20s I realized that I had a choice between being bitter about the past or forgive. I've seen what years of resentment and bitterness can do to people and I don't want to be like that. I forgive but won't forget the ugliness in certain people's hearts.
Sometimes I click on your videos thinking it may have nothing to do with me, then I watch it and it has everything to do with me. God brought me here, thank you so much!
Once again she's on the money!!
Your update give me life❤️❤️❤️
When u said "forgive ur parents....." I cried and that when I realised how much of blame I had put upon them for my current state of mind
Thank you for being vulnerable to share your story queen 👑
“An unfaithful man is not your portion sis” God bless
I felt this most of my childhood and I still do now at 19. But I always look for resources and solutions to better myself. Because I still do feel as if I don't know what love is, but I still love if that makes sense. And I fear that I need up giving most of my love, seeking validation and making other people happy when I wasn't in the wrong. Or afraid to speak on how I am feeling. But this video helped so much thank you❤
you is so motivational girl💞💞
🦋Patience is hard but you have to trust Gods timetable
Forgive your parents.. im just crying because I have forgiven them and I have to keep forgiving them while im 28 and some stuff is still going on. It hurts
i relate to insecure coming from lack of affirmation and so many people don‘t understand how much it impacted me because they always say „oh but you weren‘t abused you should be fine.“
Love, you don't know how much you've helped me to grow as a person by doing these videos. I'm subscribing right away! xx
I clicked so fast when I saw this queen! ❤️😍🤩👸
I’ve had a similar childhood my mother was so busy looking after my disabled brother and my dad was abusive wasn’t there much think this is why I seek male attention and lower my standards. Thank you Breeny for your kind words💞
You have the power of speech and word Sister! Blessings in Jesus Name! Thank you!
Thank you for helping me grow 🖤
Unfaithful man is NOT my portion in Jesus name 🙏🏾🙏🏾
This video hits DIFFERENTLY!
Ma’am you really choose to fully expose me at once! Thank youu from Italy✨
No lie Breeny this hit my heart like my core. Thank you loved this
I definitely agree with you about being insecure from not being confirmed. My parents mostly my mom always did the opposite or it seemed like it cause any time I did something wrong or not acceptable she would tell me.
*When Breeny & Shallon Lester post at the same time !!!*
Kathryn Dowling what do u mean by that?
Ooooo yeeesss!!
Kathryn Dowling no I don't know what that means "she's got a side to her". I'm not a native speaker you know
Kathryn Dowling which side are you talking about, I am curious ?
@Kathryn Dowling please elaborate
I always was just a silent subscriber but now i have to say that you have helped me so much with your videos. You inspires me so much and i want to thank you !!
Seriously you are like my big sister , God Bless you ❤️ I didn’t even know you were a believer ... makes it that much sweeter 🙏🏾😩
Breeny. You’re always on time. ALWAYS. 💕💕💕💕
I swear I binge your channel everyday bc you keep me motivated, alert, and help me stay focused and disciplined... life coach is definitely your calling, I can’t say for sure but I really believe it... your story is mine... really ... crazy 🤯 shook.. I appreciate you 🥰
6:00 I'm the exact opposite... I am so anxious about forming relationships with anyone acquaintances included. I literally have one friend and even that makes me uncomfortable... I always want to be alone and I'm scared that having anyone close is going to take away my happiness and freedom.... I literally thought feeling that way was normal until recently
I’m confused how people give This Video A Dislike.... Like sis this chocolate sister is saving your MF life with all this greatness xx Haha 😆 keep killing it babes Xx
Beautiful Breeny inside and out xxxx love
I love your message girl. You speaking real talk helps to heal both yourself and all who take time to listen. Wish I had a sister like you 🤗🤗🤗
❤❤i love me some Breeeenyyyy..notification gang what's good🔥
Happiness is an inside job, people can only add to what you already have and feel. Teach us queen ♥️
I literally argued with grown ass women (late 40s early 50s) about how your upbringing affects your dating decision in adulthood. Ppl seriously underestimate the affect your childhood has throughout your lifespan.
I’ve known my childhood has affected my adult life now for a few years. The thing that is most difficult for me is using my knowledge from books and videos and actually changing. I still haven’t been able to fully heal from it but it gets better over time ❤️ don’t lose hope people
You are just Beautiful! Inside and out!
I think my mom being emotionally unavailable wen I was younger made me an extrovert cause I felt desolate and empty without people's attention.. But now I'm an ambivert as I heal my inner child