Many promising ventures start as little more than a vision. With little more to offer, these businesses woo partners and investors with equity: the promise of a share in the future earnings of the company. It's a risk: many businesses fail. However, if they wait for the business to succeed, these folks might also be priced out of the market. The same is true of dating. Only founders get equity. Everyone else gets a salary, at best. Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: ua-cam.com/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/v-deo.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: ua-cam.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
Hi doctor I just want to know about the psychology of bad habits and break them effectively would you a make single video about that covers entire topic of habit forming and break them or get rid of them or suggest me a way to get rid of that
This video is exactly the story of my life. I have tons of women now but will never enter into a committed relationship with any of them. It's always at the back of my head whenever they start pushing for commitment that they weren't there during the rainy days.
As someone that has been investing in startups since 2019, whenever I find a good woman worth risking my peace of mind and immediate cash... I will for sure have a prenup even if we don't get married to protect the investments that I did before I met her, which will be presented to her before she/we move in together.
ok, so I now am confused... do we invest early? or make sure he is established? I thought advice has always been woman NEED to use their hypergamy and not be with a "loser" as many would say
As an experienced divorce lawyer, I would add that it is even more important for an ambitious young man to carefully vet any person who he brings into his life. Think long and hard if marriage is absolutely necessary. Be intentional. If you live in a jurisdiction where prenups can be modified by a court (i.e. California, Canadian provinces) I suggest you skip marriage altogether. If you are a successful entrepreneur or professional, consider skipping marriage altogether. Marriage is an old technology. Divorce laws don’t care about who struggled and put in the effort to “make it”. Divorce laws don’t care who is at “fault”. You can still have amazing, intimate relationships without bringing state divorce law into your life and finances.
@@eladbari Yes. That is exactly what I mean. In 2023, some states, (like Pennsylvania) are “prenup friendly”, meaning they treat prenups like contracts. As long as the prenup is properly drafted and properly executed, it will be upheld. The rules are tricky, so a prenup is not a DIY type of document. In other states the prenup must be fair and reasonable at the time it was signed and can’t be unconscionable at the time of divorce. In many Canadian provinces, the courts can modify a prenup or throw it out entirely.
@@eladbariAll states can alter a contract, in a courtroom, if it’s a terribly unfair or badly made contract. The problem with marriage is that legislators can modify the “deal” every time they have a session. Then, because marriage is such an integral part of society, all sorts of other things get tied to it in laws every level. Gays would have been better off having the state stay out of their marriages. They would have had the best of both worlds. I guess they really valued the few legal advantages. Government employees on pension systems and their spouses got really messed around by this stuff. I know one couple that ended not marrying over it, and both ended up single and alone.
This is God awful advice to men. The type of women that men will want to build a future and family with will require marriage. A woman that is ok with a never ending LTR tells on herself regarding how lowly she sees herself. That doesn't end well. Sure if it ends since there's no marriage she doesn't take your stuff. But these types of relationships won't be fulfilling for real purpose driven men. There are methods beyond pre nups to protect assets such as setting up irrevocable offshore trusts in the right jurisdictions since no US Court can force them to do a damn thing.
My mother gave me a lot of the same advice in this video. She and my father met as teenagers through an activity that would eventually become a very good career for both of them. Married shortly after graduating college, and eventually when she decided she wanted to focus on raising a child (me) she retired early and did so. They are still happily together, having been married for 41 years. I worked hard and have followed them into the same profession, however I never found a woman who would invest in a relationship with me when I was young. Now at 32 having built a very good life by myself, it's getting harder and harder to tell if women are interested in me for me, or just because they want to slip into the life I've built without having invested in it...
Actually mpmd made a point which was to get the getting girls phase in your life behind as early as possible so you won't think that you can only get girls because of your job / money / car. I definitely think there are parallels here.
"it's getting harder and harder to tell if women are interested in me for me" Do you think they were doing that before? Doesn't sound like it. It's an unrealistic expectation to think that will drive their behavior. As if you're just a piece of art they've come to fancy intrinsically. That's projecting masculine-attitudes onto... well...
What worked for your parents doesn't have to work for you. Why do you find it difficult to access wether your potential partner is interested in you or your success? A lady of substance does't play mind games, is serious about her ambitions in life, is not looking for your money, but is making a living herself. Finding the right person is difficult, but not impossible. My good friend married 10 years ago and his wife was almost 40, just like him. They met on a silvester-party and are happily married with two sons. So, socialize and know what you're looking for.
I hate to say it but what your mom / dad have is slowly going extinct. Relationships now are becoming short-term value exchanges. If you want to deal with a woman you have to accept the risk, vet her for around 3 - 5 years, make sure she is calm, patient, agreeable, mentally and emotionally stable, and get a pre-nup. Also, maybe consider only having 1 kid to minimize the child support risk.
This is exactly why we read the story in Elementary School about the Little Red Hen. She gave everybody else the chance to help her mix and bake the bread, but they all had better things to do. Now that the bread is done and fresh, you gets NONE
I drew exactly the same parallel as you without having seen your comment. Correct. It's essentially The Little Red Hen parable by another name. The trouble is the parable already exists. This channel is just becoming an exercise in describing things we already know using novel analogies. Novel analogies are not solutions. Don't mistake the two things. People are literally getting mesmerised by hearing old wisdom re-packaged (in this instance using sexy Tate/business speak) and thinking it's delivering a practical solution. It isn't.
In some ways, the argument is flawed. Why reward someone just because they were a founder at the right place and right time. And why punish someone who happened, through no fault of their own, who came later in the journey. Rather than rewarding someone based on a timeline, just get a pre-nup or do not marry in the first place.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 They’re not being rewarded for being in the right place at the right time, they’re being rewarded for the work theyput in to help build the value the man has today. The person who comes later isn’t being punished, they’re just not getting the rewards that a founder gets because they did not put in the effort to build that man. She can get a very respectable salary but she’s not entitled to what he built
Simple: only the ones who haven't yet found a suitable partner do watch channels like this and write comments. If somebody has a trustworthy partner, that he met late, he'd rather watch a parenting channel or a channel dedicated to a hobby.
@@user-mc7ez6lm4xWrong. Been with a woman for 5+ years who has very few red flags. I like to watch videos like this to stay on top of my game and also keep tabs on the culture. I don’t want to be like one of those fools who says “you’re just looking in the wrong places, you’ll find a good girl” when talking to the men in my life.
Fellas, it’s not your job to save a woman who made bad life choices when she was in her prime. When you’ve worked on yourself and also reach your prime, it’s only fair that you get your share of the cream of the crop as well. You don’t have to sacrifice your self interests for women who weren’t with you at your lowest. Fair is fair.💯
Unfortunately I agree. That's what happened to me. My last breakup angrily motivated me to focus on nothing but the gym and money. I was already in shape, but a year and a half later, I'm bigger AND more lean than before, AND my yearly earnings are almost double, with A LOT more on the way. But it took more than just a breakup. It took the most insulting, disrespectful, slap in the face of a breakup for me to finally get it through my head that I needed to make SERIOUS changes. I'd heard everything before, but it never really STUCK until I got cheated on and left for a man that my ex said was hyper abusive, abused her kids (that weren't his), fist fought her elderly father, he traumatized her whole family, to the point that she had nightmares and said she'd rather be waterboarded to death than be in the same room with him again. Obviously, she lied about a whole lot of that. But it was the INSULT of it that lot the fire under my ass Since then, I've stayed single, had hookups, and focused on money and body. And I've genuinely never been happier in my adult life, or maybe even my childhood Some will say "you need to heeeeeel from the trauma". But no, I'd genuinely rather not. That made me into the best version of myself that had ever existed so far, and I'm only headed much farther from here
@@tdaye6978 That’s wild. Sounds like she made a major mistake and I’m sure she regrets those decisions. Good for you man. I’m in a similar boat rn. Pretty fresh off a breakup and more motivated than ever.
if yoiu are red pilled and industrial, you can only be on your way to success unless you still a dummy smoking pot, playing videogames and sleepwalking tru life. when women are not around you dedicate all your money, energy attention and time to yourself. you are not influenced emotionally by others, u a lone wolf. protect your meat sout coach greg adams
Several years ago I was talking to a young man in Los Angeles who was attending dental school--not to become a dentist, he already was one. He went back to dental college to become an endodontist (specialist in diseases of the dental pulp and nerve, think root canals). He was driving his old family car and living in a cheap apt. to save money as he pursued his studies. He told me the women he met didn't want to date him even though he explained he was already a dentist and just going for an advanced degree in a specialty. He said their attitude was, "What can you do for me right now?" None seemed aware of his future earning potential which was excellent.
@@brandonross4632 The problem with pre-nups is that not only do they need to be exhaustively setup to prevent loopholes, any jackass of a judge can set it aside simply because he or she doesn't like it. What kind of messed up "justice" system do we have that a judge can dismiss a binding agreement because he doesn't like it?
@@someguyusa They don't have to be "exhaustive"--unless you have a very complicated life. And wise people, appoint an arbitrator on the financial issues, because federal law then takes that power away from state judges. What you can't typically do, is defer child support and custody issues--that's highly variable. Your parachute might fail or malfunction. But if you're going to jump, I'd still grab one on the way out the door.
I saw this with my parents. My mother put my father through law school when they were in their early 20s. They were very poor and we lived in a studio apartment when I came along, as my father was still in law school. Over the years things improved and my mother was able to stay home and raise us. She managed all things at home while my father worked years of insane hours and eventually started his own practice. My mother was and still is extremely frugal and never overspent what my father made. Although she worked part time after we left home, it was a choice. Now they are 80 and 78 yrs old, still married and sharing the equity, to which she is definitely entitled because she was the co-founder of the enterprise. Edited to add: my mother took a big risk. Even my father’s family thought he wouldn’t amount to much. My mother believed in him and she was right.
While I appreciate this story, I think the key take away isn't that she stood by him, but that he wasn't a coward. He could've easily smeared her as "easy" and left her to fend for herself, but he didn't so I think thats what makes this story all the more special. I've always believed the true measure of love isn't in what you can get, but in what you could do, yet won't.
@@-glitch-8195 that’s actually very true. My father had a brilliant 45 year career as a litigator and I am sure he had many opportunities to “trade up.” But he was and is a man of integrity. He informed me recently of their financial holdings because he wanted me to know that in the event of his passing, there is enough money to take care of my mother should she live another 40 years, which she obviously won’t. The integrity has to be on both sides to make the enterprise work.
This sums up 50 yrs of life experience (my life) in 9 minutes. I think a lot of men understand this, but the majority of modern females don't understand . A good life is built over time. The hardships build character. I wish this is presented in every high school across this nation.
@@DuncanL7979My first wife used to refer to me as her "investment." When I had difficulty getting started in my chosen profession, she left. Then shortly after she did, things stared taking off for me. It's not only betting on a dark horse, you also have to not bail every time the market dips. Good riddance, good thing I found out before things started working out rather than after.
When I met my wife, I was paying myself £4K per month from my biz - very low for London. She committed to me long before things took off - and they really took off. Today we have the dream home and the fancy cars and holidays but I know we built it together. I love the fact that we met before there was anything much to show for my efforts.
Remember listening to a few of your books on audible years ago. From memory they were very high quality, better than the rest in that genre from memory
People change my friend. She can always evoke the third party in marriage contract just because she is bored and wants her half and move on to something else
This is a truth I have known since I was young, very good to see it come to light. Why would you give someone half of your assets that didn't help you get them? Part of the blame is on the men that are dumb enough to give women everything when they don't deserve it.
Agreed. If men would stop giving half their assets to women who only showed up after they crossed the finish line, women would (eventually) stop this behavior. Eventually. They are slow learners. So I also blame the men. However, I do get it. Man goes his whole life with leftover scraps of ugly women at best, gets money right, and is SO happy to FINALLY have a slightly above average woman interested in him. He's so used to 2's and 3's that to him, a 6 looks like a 10. So he QUICKLY puts a ring on it, thinking he's the luckiest guy in the world. Then BOOM, she leaves with half This is why I agree with F&F in that, if you'rein the west, you need to sleep with AT LEAST a couple dozen women, probably a lot more, before finding a wife. Otherwise, you will be duped by shit that would otherwise be seen a mile away by a man with experience
I lost 70% of my money and assets in my UK divorce, including my house. Regardless of whether the women is a founder or employee, there should always be a pre-nup. Even in the USA, many divorces end up 70 : 30 after factoring in legal fees and alimony.
It males sense As an older never married female, if (Big If), I ever met someone who was already successful, I would not expect any of it. As long as he stays away from what is mine- I will leave his alone.
When I met my now ex-wife, I lived in a van. She was young and beautiful, and had been a model, but she bought into my Potential. Over the next 20 years, I built us a national business. When I left her and divorced her. She got a massive divorce settlement and I don’t worry about it for a second because she earned the equity.
@@jollypolly1686 Lack of sexual effort and blow jobs, she became lazier and lazier, she was always feeling superior and fighting with people once we had a lot of money, and she let herself get fatter. I made myself into a guy in the top couple of percent of the world, and with women throwing themselves at me, it was easy to pluck a new one off the tree as often as I wanted I gave her many many many opportunities to get her shit together like it was when we were young. Men need to stop tolerating subpar women. If your woman knows she is absolutely replaceable in a second she will make a lot more effort to be irreplaceable.
There is a reason why it is called "partner", if you show up after everything is build by one worker, you are applying for a job, a temporary or career, but it is just a job.
I think you underestimate the loneliness that awaits men. When you finally have it all built up but you're 55 and there's only used 35 year olds available.
I recently went bust trying to chase my dreams with no obvious success behind me. What I was most surprised is most of my male Friends showed support while I lost females friends (who knew friendships with females was based upon status) and my sister and mother where putting me down more. A year later a lot of success has come and now guess claps for me. My biggest concern in a relationship- now females show interest- is finding one who would hang around in the bad time and show support instead of turning up for the claps
Good one Orion. One thing I would add : it would tremendously help women to have a father in their lives, both growing up and actively helping to vet men for her.
I once wholeheartedly believed in the concept of aslong as she has a father, she most likely would be a good partner. But honestly I think we are staring to see the rise of lack a better term but beta husbands who either work too much to instruct the daughters or masculine wives who overrule their husbands. The whole “I gotta ask the boss” mentality and constant submission to make the wives happy has brainwashed the daughters into thinking this is the correct dynamic between a husband and wife. Kinda think marriage is basically only for couples who fall in love early before the variety exaggerates expectations on both sides
As a father of three teenage girls, I agree this is true. I now represent the 'patriarchy'; every tip or suggestion I give them is met with disdain. It's a tricky situation as I want to turn out happy balanced women who will form great bonds in their life (whether that is with a man or not). But it seems that all the influences in their life - the media, education, and sometimes their mother, no longer want this @@nes6493
10 years ago, all I had was my fitness and the prospect of a good career. I had student debt, lived at home, and only made $40k per year. No woman wanted to commit to me for the long haul back then. But now I have little debt, still physically fit, a house, a great career and salary, and no longer drive a shit box. I look at the prospects surrounding me and say nah. It's also hilarious when they get mad when you refuse to commit, especially when they bring kids, a used p*ssy, trauma, and debt to the table. These ladies are looking for a bailout. Never give in.
This makes sense to me. The problem is a lot of women live & dream by the movie "Pretty Woman," where a prostitute that's made bad choices all her life suddenly has a chance to land a young, handsome, and available billionaire. I can't tell you how many women have praised & fantasized about that movie.
funny thing is society seems to be fine about this female fantasy while if a man fantasizes winning the lottery after decades of laziness, he would be met with distain.
This is rock-solid advice for the ladies, but don't forget the real goal, fellas. It's not enough to pursue excellence for just yourself. You need to marry and start a family, and encourage your kids to pursue excellence for themselves. Leave this world in better shape than when you entered it.
@@ericlarousse1149Best way to swim is not to swim? Sounds like you don't trust in your own ability to create a great growing environment for your offspring. You're welcome to remove yourself from the genepool but it's never been easier to raise a family. My father's generation grew up after WW2 in the forest with 5 kids in the family. I have it easy materially.
As a lawyer, this is one of the best business/investment advice I have heard in a while, notwithstanding the fact that it was meant to be interpreted in romantic terms. Great piece.
probably the best video here. clearly explains why the dating is broken. women wait at the finish line to pick the winners. problem is most winners have been through tough battles completely alone, they don't give a 💩 anymore. you will always remember the times you were down and women made it worse for you, sometimes for no reason, they just view you as subhuman if you're not on their wishlist of fantasy life / radar of financial gain. good luck, gentlemen and good luck, ladies, let's see who handles this game of life better
I struggled in my twenties before moving to the other side of the world in my early 30s. Things came together for me, but in that environment there were quite a few guys with truly impressive salaries. After a few years I came to realize the available women were ‘passed over’ as Joni Mitchell might say. And by the time I was partied out and I thought I was really ready to settle down, the single life was what I really knew. We’re not all the marrying type.
I always love your analogies! I am in the same position as you. I think it was actually for the better you didn’t get any “help” from women back then and got to learn all the marketing, sales, etc. In my case, I got “lucky” and got “help” from a woman. I found a wife back when I was not high value. But I didn’t understand male/female dynamic (That was a time before great UA-cam channel like yours exist). I thought marriage is about locking down the hottest woman I can find and give her everything she wants. Happy wife happy life. So I couldn’t handle my wife and got a divorce. I guess my “billion dollar company” didn’t take off until after my divorce and several relationship after. I am in the best shape now both physically, mentally and career-wise. My gf’s now are stunners, and my current gf says she wish she had the younger me when I was more malleable, like when I was in my marriage. But I assured her if acted like that she wouldn’t be attracted to me.
Founder equity = marriage, and employee salary = girlfriend. I would argue that marriage is a terrible idea regardless of being a founder or employee. Very few founders or employees want to stay with a company for 50 years. And some leave on very bad terms where there is no pre-nup in place. Founder = in the right place, at the right time.
this sums up alot of my dating frustrations pretty well. I would have been so proud to share my equity but women just dont look at it that way. the internet makes them think there are plenty of CEO's to go around
This is business analagy of a book I read called "Marry Him, The case for Mr. Good Enough" by Lori Gottleib. To summarize, select your husband while you're young because it doesn't get any easier with time. You can't have everything and career women often miss out on a family and are filled with regret. I agree. The purest loves you have are when you're young and your best opportunities are in high school and college when you're surrounded by peers your age, have tons of free time usually, everybody looks their best, and most people don't have too much baggage.
This is so true! I busted my butt in the oilfield for years, while going to school, to be able to quit and go full time, to finally land a job as a software engineer, make good money, work on my masters degree (almost done) and buy myself a house hack. I would have loved some help! But I didn’t get it. Only now I’m starting to get a few resumes/ applications not a lot only a few. And what I can say is that I’m not risking half of what I built.
This channel is THE ABSOLUTE BEST channel that converts harsh jagged red pill realities into a soft coated gel pill that women can easily digest without getting offended or disgusted. Absolutely brilliant Orien. I have successfully kept me and my girlfriend both happy with this style of delivery in my personal life.
I keep a word document of quotes and sayings that resonate with me. I’ve kept a running document for close to twenty years. This quote has been added to it. “Only founders get equity.” Simple, yet profound, and ultimately nonnegotiable when you really think about it. 💯💯💯
Women don't care about your struggles , They only wait at the finish and F the winners. As a man you are invisible to women but when you become the finish product you're now her shining knight in armor. Chaotic at it's best. Grind hard brothers for yourself only and those that love you.
I know two older couples where the man is a successful lawyer in both cases. Two couples, two patterns: Bob and Barbara met when they were young, in high school. Barbara worked at a job to put Bob through an undergraduate degree, then Bob got into law school. Right after law school, Barbara got pregnant. Bob made a lot of money, they had some nice kids. Barbara made a lot of money, by her good choices in life. She had a family. Her financial success came about, by her initial founder's equity in Bob....by sticking with him from the start. Barb earned her success: Barb took a lot of risk at the start, she didn't know if Bob would make it. She believed in Bob, helped him become a success. And neither one of them had other partners. So: Barb deserves every cent she got, because of her loyalty, hard work and because she had a family with Bob. That's what binds people together, justifies sharing of financial success: loyalty, hard work, sacrifice, having a family together. Without those? Sharing is not justified. The second older couple is Frank and Mary. Frank is a successful lawyer, now retired. Frank and Mary lived together when they were both young. Both had a lot of sexual partners along the way. Typical hippies. I always felt that in jumping from bed to bed, both Frank and Mary were training themselves and were training their partners, that the other person was replaceable. I think the real problem with hopping between beds, is not the act itself. The act is fun. The real problem is: this is exactly a training exercise. It's a 'big picture' thing: By hopping from bed to bed, we train ourselves and we train the other person, we both train each other, that the other person is expendable, that we always have more chances, with future people. Then after training each other for years in bad behavior, we humans often down the road, we expect high moral behavior from the other person. That's unrealistic. We have that unrealistic expectation, after a long process of essentially training each other, how to be disloyal and betray the other person...then we expect loyalty? That's really stupid and self-destructive, in the long run. Where does this lead? That often leads to ruin....in the long run of a person's life. Especially for women, since their breeding window is much shorter, than it is for men....particularly for successful men. The Sexual Revolution of my hippie generation lied to women. The lie was: you have forever. How did the story end, for Mary and Frank? Mary sacrificed for Frank, for much of her 20s. Then as success loomed: Frank dumped Mary after he graduated, for a younger hotter wife. Frank went on, to great financial success. Mary ended up a working class waitress her whole life. Mary is a feminist. Mary never had a family, Mary kept sleeping around, as her SMV declined over time. Frank's younger hotter wife got all the financial benefit of Mary's hard work. The young hotter wife, got all the founder's equity....even though she was not a founder, she did not sacrifice. Mary sacrificed...and got nothing. Is Frank a jerk? Yes. Did Mary in her choices, inadvertently encourage Frank to become a jerk? Yes. That doesn't mean Frank is innocent, it just means women should not do things that encourage men to be jerks. Women should not train men, to be jerks. They do, all the time. Men should not train women, to be jerks. They do, all the time. You reap what you sow, people....in the long arc of life. Make good choices in life.
The story you provided is largely anecdotal though. There are men who dump their loyal partners after becoming very successful, even though they were a traditional couple and not swingers.
This puts into words how I have intuitively felt for a long while. I think I'd been subconsciously avoiding accepting how transactional it is; how our 'civilized' social norms are a quietly accepted kayfabe to justify that transactionality without making the procedure feel crass and gauche. Between our Web 2.0 society and our Gilded Age 2.0 economy, we haven't, or can't, figure out how to make men and women meet in the middle and form mutually-satisfying common bonds.
Some men enjoy teasing women and rocking their emotions, and often do so without any guilt. The Trojan horse teaches an important lesson on identifying manipulation.
Fantastic video. everything you’re discussing in this video is something that women have already realized, hence why a lot of us choose salaries rather than equity.
Sounds like my marriage. It was rarely 50/50, in fact it was often 95/5 or 5/95. The risk ratio swings back and forth until you share in the equity you grew together through thick and thin. When you are in it for life you have the rare luxury of time to work out every issue that comes up along the way; you are invested totally, perfecting your relationship till death do you part.
This is PURE GOLD! Sounds a lot like Self Mastery! 😍😍 The no’s allowed you to step up and be that for yourself! This video was for me! I know the man in me (I’m a women) is nervous to step up and the women I am even after years of healing is a little nervous to surrender her dreams. But it’s time to build. Just me and me. I needed this! Thank you! ❤️
I think your analogy is very good. However, it think it really applies to same age/similar age relationships. I think when wealthy men go for much younger women there’s - rightly or wrongly - a transaction of youth for financial acquisition. Hence, the divorce payout can be a compensation for lost youth during the relationship. Since their early 20s were dedicated to making their partner happy rather than building their education/career. Of course, they could do both, however, I think the age gap yields a power play that prohibits self expression of the younger party. I don’t think these kind of dynamics are healthy for either party. But there’s an understandable transaction.
Word. My ex did nothing to help and crazy things to interfere with my business then wanted a chunk of revenue when I threw her out parasite fail but lesson learned
I did the dark horse thing. . I helped a young guy make it early in life. Now I have wealth and benefits and property and my kids are all set: , healthy, happy and educated. Once he got going, my husband got it all for us! Orion, thanks. I feel vindicated by your commentary. 🎉
This video is brilliant! If you ask an older couple who've been married for 50+ years how they made it, they will tell you that when they started, they didn't have two nickels to rub together. They built what they have together and because of that, they both value it a lot. Today, women say they want to build but that's not what they do, instead, they want to move in. Guys who've already built success are going to be wary of such women and most will never commit to them they way they want. If they didn't help them build, they don't get to be part of the reward. BTW, you have to go back on Fresh and Fit but next time, stay for the afterhours show which I know they didn't have when you went last time.
It makes sense. I know this is anecdotal but when I use to date, my experience was that nerdy guys who make less money than you as a woman usually just got really mean out of intimidation. Sometimes its not just about the resources themselves, sometimes guys are genuinely just mean to you if you make more money than them no matter how modest you are so by necessity you have to date a guy that has skills so that they don’t get egotistical, buy themselves a car with your money and then leave because the next woman doesn’t know they didn’t buy the car themselves. I found that guy nerds are often egotistical, weirdly enough- its not only about the resources themselves, females have to date men that make more money than them because men get weird at you otherwise- and if they don’t get weird at you and have a bit more integrity then they sulk because they just don’t want to admit to themselves that they feel bad about themselves for not being able to provide like they want…..so its not really always that women are greedy, I had to learn the hard way to not be so generous even though that was my natural inclination. That being said, I am so lucky to find the guy I did now because he is genuinely a good person.
Or could it be that when you were younger and dating, you were insufferable and that was a turn off to men because of your money or making more money than them, which is natural because money turns most people into assholes and you matured and got more tolerable which is also natural as we get used to more money. It happens to both men and women and happens more often than the other person being intimidated by our success
@@rambojambo588There is an intimidation factor in the idea, if their presence (irrationally) makes you feel unworthy. But that's because you view them as an idea, not as a person. You can see it basically 2 ways, first is glorification, other is separation and avoidance, to protect your ego. (You can be rude as defense mechanism) But I do agree that I don't see a reason why would a man be scared by woman's competition (through money, dilligence etc.), in those cases I can only see it being just a deterrent for wanting anything beyond friendship.
So clear and precise...I like the way you speak metaphorically when making your points. My psychology on courtship and life has never been the same since I found this channel mid 2022.This is so true about women...they stand in the sidelines while you as man you struggle to make ends meet. Then as soon as you hit the jackpot they come back running.
Man this hits hard. How different could things have beenwoukd someone joined my team. But also it may have been an itter drag on my life.. who knows. But damn i wanted it so bad. That really does hit hard
Guys - forget all this bargaining mentality. Give generously and expect nothing back. For one can only truly give, if one truly has in the first place. Kill the resentment mindset Live free Enjoy yourself Seek flow Serve And make freeing the spirit your number one goal in life
I absolutely knew I wanted to build with a man. When I was in my early 20s I knew that I wanted to start with nothing and build an empire together. This is only scary for lazy women. We're married 23 years now. My husband had nothing and now he's in the highest income bracket. It took 19 years of marriage to get to this point. We were both better together than separately. You are 100% right. No woman is entitled to half of what a man built without her. Social media has wrecked women's minds. That's why I do not understand men who are in their 40s and 50s and marry women in their 20s. She's never worked for anything in her life because she hasn't lived long enough. And then they are shocked when this same woman leaves them and takes half their stuff. I don't think men should wait until they are successful to THEN find a woman. Because he will never know if she's with him for him or his provision. Your advice is good. But so many relationship channels tell men the opposite. Become successful then find a woman. It just doesn't work that way from the woman's perspective. She'll never appreciate what she married into.
You are your own startup; a unicorn in the making: Fund yourself, Fund the mental, Fund your core team, Angel invest in yourself, Venture Capital yourself, Bootstrap yourself Sweat equity yourself Private equity yourself Whoever stuck with you in your developmental years could be given dividends if you choose to. Don't compete, determine your USP, and market the hell out of your chosen market segment. Plan your exit, too. Whether that's being acquired in an M&A, or an IPO. Haha, how would you make an analogy out of M&A or an IPO?
Women dont play to win. They play to not lose. Not that many men are any different, but the risk aversion and temperament is clearer in one group than the other.
Dear Orion, your comment seems fair enough. People have to help you out if they want Equity. This is a very simple rule of the game. It seems very sound and full of equilibrium. Fair enough.
Dr. Orion I cannot underestimate how much I can relate to this video. I’m currently 43 and embarking on an incredibly similar journey that you described in this here video. Having undergone an extremely challenging and turbulent past 6 years (dad getting diagnosed with cancer/dying, wife leaving during that time, wrongful allegations from an employees of mine amongst other health concerns) it left me in a very dark place and financially broken. I’ve spent the past 2+ years turning my life around improving every aspect of my life. I’m in great shape mentally, physically and spiritually and my newish business is about to explode. Like you I would have loved to have found a woman to embark on this journey to assist, grow and build together. Tragically, as you mention, most women want to wait at the finish line and pick a winner. I had to learn all the skills you mention myself and in the end I couldn’t be happier doing it my way on my terms. If and when the day comes that people want a piece of the pie i poured my heart and soul into, I’ll be laughing my ass off
Well, there are also stories when a girl finds a poor guy and supports him in his endeavors, they live together, get married, the guy gets rich and eventually gets rid of the old wife to get a young gorgeous Bamby. The story of Russian oligarch Potanin is an example. She was with him since they were students, but after 20+ years of marriage she got something like an old dacha, that's it. The guy was explicitly saying - sorry, dear, you are too old now, we had our days, it's time to change. If the guy gets too rich, he gets connections and power to do whatever he wants. If you invest money into an actual startup, there is a legal mechanism assuring that you get your share of dividends, in a marriage "I have always been supporting him" is not really legally tangible.
@@FarmingUncleargo to Philippines and date women in their 20s, like so many retirees have been doing for decades. More recently, young digital nomads working remotely have been doing the same.
I am constantly baffled by the fact that how most women are used to just sit back and pick a man she likes by simply presenting herself with zero or minimal game. The idea of competition from other women who are more attractive never registered in their minds. Yes, waiting at the finish line from female perspective is a smarter option since you don't know which man is the real dark horse, but when every other woman thinks the same, the strategy immediately falls short for obvious reasons. Winners are always the contrarians. Men learn this early while women never seem to learn it.
@@1856outlanderwomen can absolutely be successful career wise. However if you want to be successful and have a family the game then favors men. He touches on it in this video about women would be wise to marry early then chase her career but he goes more in-depth in a different video This reason is somewhat twofold. First women have a clock on physically being able to have a family and a psychological clock on wanting one. Men don't and are able to father kids into their 70s, it's not fair but biology doesn't have to be. The second reason is women have an innate nature to choose a man more successful than they are so as a woman becomes more successful she's dwindling down the number of men she'd accept as a partner (to the men that are even more successful than her). To top this off the men even more successful than her likely won't choose her and would choose a younger, prettier, more fertile woman because most men (especially highly successful ones) don't highly value a woman's success or money. Obviously if a woman can overcome this natural instinct she'd have more options but many women don't or won't. Women may not need a man financially but their innate desire still wants one more successful than they are. Again it comes down to the highly different mating strategies of men and women.
@@dukekessler6292Again, I reiterate, most men are unable to become full providers. Even if she chooses to marry in her 20s, most men her age are unable to provide. You can say men prefer much younger women, but the average age gap between married couples is within 2-4 years. Google the average salary of a 30-year-old male in the US. It's around 56K. Secondly, men do have a biological clock. Sperm quality at 70 is not the same as sperm quality at 30. Why do you think sperm banks have a cut off limit on age? They do not accept male donors past 35. Thirdly, some limited studies have shown when the wife out earns, the husband is more likely to cheat, struggle with erections, etc.
You all sound like people that are being manipulated to work more to buy stuff you don't need to impress people you don't like in order to have something others decided you should have. Who benefit from this disguised slavery ? 🙃
It's like the popular modern trope states: "women wait at the finish line". But this is the society we have built for ourselves when things have become about "what can you provide to me" (6', 6 figure, 6-pack, etc.) rather than a society that values "what can we build together", regarding relationships.
In the words of Dan Pena men compete and women wait at the finish line for their best option... don't hold it against them instead find a woman who has as much or more to offer than you do if you can find anyone that great. You're an intelligent guy I hope you're not choosing to be bitter but rather are just waiting for your own best option
Women like to say “you can’t make decisions based on potential.” But no, actually, you can and DO it all the time. What you really mean to say is “nothing is gurunteed in life no matter how much you want it.”
We live in a world where logic and reason apply only in business. Everything else is chaos and mayhem. Eventually it ll catch up in that last place too and thats the end.
I have a female friend who gave up her prime reproductive years supporting her man who dumped her as soon as his business - initially supported by her family - gained traction, so I can understand why a woman would want to wait until a guy has got his act together before partnering up. The bottom line is if you think the person you’re going out with has potential, yet they won’t commit to marriage after a year, you’re being used.
Eladbari - there is a way. It's referred to as "LATS" an acronym for Living Alone Together. The people love each other, care, support, and enjoy an exclusive relationship, BUT the things they don't relinquish is their own place to live, their bank account, their investments, their dignity or autonomy. It works fine, because they don't live together, don't get on each other's nerves, and claim their own space for time with their own children and relatives. Trust and respect usually grow, rather than diminish. I'd prefer to be in a LATS relationship than in a marriage or living together arrangement. Modern men and women don't easily fit into social norms from way past times anymore Greetings from Auckland New Zealand 🇳🇿
Exactly!! I made the comment earlier that when men get successful they always leave the one who sacrificed and struggled with them for a shiny plastic bimbo!!! So this doctor needs to find some new perspectives!!! All the billionaires did it elon, bezos etc.
Yep, 44 and single now, very little help from women. The last one I thought she understood, but then she quit working, but kept pulling a paycheck until a couple months ago. Now I am back on my own and my business is almost ready to run itself. I will not propose again for the rest of my life! (I did buy 3 different rings)
@@bellavega8048 because the video is speaking somewhat metaphorically about a woman's work I can understand how my comment seems off, I will do my best to clarify. When I say she "Quit working" she was still working at her job, what she quit doing for the last 5 years of our relationship, she quit helping me pay any of the bills, every time I brought it up it was a fight and I make MORE than enough to pay the bills so I gave up on asking, Then she quit cleaning (Because it was boring, her own words) She did still do her own laundry but that was pretty much it. We shared the cooking (Because I like to cook) eventually that stopped too, I was doing 90% of the cooking at the end. I am not saying that cooking OR cleaning is a woman's role, but I will say for the last 3-4 years of our relationship she did not contribute in a meaningful way. The truth is I would have put up with it if she would have stayed nice. She got more angry with every passing day and our fights were every interaction. Edit: Our relationship lasted 11 years.
having been a high-potential young man, I totally agree with his assessment n advice. I had plenty of offers from super smart n very attractive young ladies. women are very smart with choosing their husband candidates from an early age
Romance has entered the chat. On a serious note though the crazy thing to me isn't even the fact that they are usually solely waiting at the finish line for the winners it's moreso the inflation that is involved. Like nothing is good enough even when the value is immensely high and they have absolutely no stake in it. It's like coming to a negotiation with little to offer but demanding a lot yourself. On a final note, it seems today has a problem of women cashing in their chips too late and men cashing in their chips too early. With respect to marriage.
This is great, I have been trying to find a way to explain this concept to others for while now. I try and explain that marriage becomes less and less valuable each day for Men and can go to 0 or even negative. At 46 years old and fairly successful I can't see any reason what so ever to get married. I gain nothing and risk half of everything.
Mostly men commenting here. The analogy with a "business transaction" is not valid for me. We married at age 21 and 22 years, grew together from nothing, built a good business, a good family, 3 children and a secure life together. All those years I gave were the best years of my life, my body, my brains, my sincere and loyal love and support. What could possibly go wrong? He turns 40, has a giant male breakdown mid-life crisis, and divorces himself from his "meat and 3 vege" as he called us. OK, the good years were excellent and the bad years really bad. Our story has nothing in common with the business analogy. Life is always more nuanced and complicated in matters of the heart than any one theory or analogy can ever explain.
YOU ARE everything, my friend!! I FEEL THE WAY YOU FELT BACK THEN! AND I AM SOOO GRATEFUL to hear your story!! I see the future---SO MANY "FRIENDS" "FAMILY" etc ARE GONNA KICK THEMSELVES IN THE HEADS FOR NOT BETTING ON ME NOW!! (and YES I TOTALLY GET IT! but still...)
I did this with my ex husband and he cheated end getting her pregnant and we divorced. Now I'm successful and he's stuck with the other women and a baby in her parents house. I tried to support his vision because that what my parents raised me to help your partner 💯. But it happens.
I empathise with you on this and I agree that it applies to men as well. Some men don't stay loyal to the woman who stood by them when they had nothing. In the end, there's no formula to life that works 100%. You can only do your part by seriously vetting someone's attitude and personality before committing to them.
So sorry to hear that. Agreed as Dr. Taraban said there is some risk that he may not succeed, may cheat, may pass away all after you give him your prime... the thing is to assess his ability and potential to go the distance but granted, risk is still there
@@beno1129 men are easy to please, so if men are cheating, it's 99% women's fault, and here's the fact, break ups and divorces are another form of betrayal, but guess who initiate most of them? so I would argue that men are way loyal than women
When he asked "Where were you twenty years ago? You weren't involved in the substantial risk" my brain said the only correct answer for her to give is "I wasn't born yet". Sounds okay to me then.
The analogy is almost perfect. If the divorce laws were not (!!!) as they are (i.e. a woman would not get automatically half) things would be different. If you are a man in your 20 and pitch your vision to a girl to invest in you, you would be very weary if she said "sounds nice and I'm in, I want a prenup that says I will get half of what you'll worth at the time of my choosing". Marriage will become a transactional exchange in the future just like J Lo's and Ben Affleck's first marriage where their obligations were very specific in the prenup
Many promising ventures start as little more than a vision. With little more to offer, these businesses woo partners and investors with equity: the promise of a share in the future earnings of the company. It's a risk: many businesses fail. However, if they wait for the business to succeed, these folks might also be priced out of the market. The same is true of dating. Only founders get equity. Everyone else gets a salary, at best.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #dating #relationship
Hi doctor I just want to know about the psychology of bad habits and break them effectively would you a make single video about that covers entire topic of habit forming and break them or get rid of them or suggest me a way to get rid of that
This video is exactly the story of my life. I have tons of women now but will never enter into a committed relationship with any of them. It's always at the back of my head whenever they start pushing for commitment that they weren't there during the rainy days.
As someone that has been investing in startups since 2019, whenever I find a good woman worth risking my peace of mind and immediate cash... I will for sure have a prenup even if we don't get married to protect the investments that I did before I met her, which will be presented to her before she/we move in together.
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You for this video!
ok, so I now am confused... do we invest early? or make sure he is established? I thought advice has always been woman NEED to use their hypergamy and not be with a "loser" as many would say
"Women don't care about your struggles. They wait at the finish line and pick the winners."
Amen
But his point is that, at that point, they have to sign prenups
... and/or smash the winner. Then, expect complete access to the fruits of his labor like Steve "Simperman" Harvey.
RPA is a must to all successful men.
💯
As an experienced divorce lawyer, I would add that it is even more important for an ambitious young man to carefully vet any person who he brings into his life. Think long and hard if marriage is absolutely necessary. Be intentional. If you live in a jurisdiction where prenups can be modified by a court (i.e. California, Canadian provinces) I suggest you skip marriage altogether. If you are a successful entrepreneur or professional, consider skipping marriage altogether. Marriage is an old technology. Divorce laws don’t care about who struggled and put in the effort to “make it”. Divorce laws don’t care who is at “fault”. You can still have amazing, intimate relationships without bringing state divorce law into your life and finances.
You mean certain states can modify prenups? Meaning they edit a contract afterwards?
And some states/countries will not do that?
@@eladbari Yes. That is exactly what I mean. In 2023, some states, (like Pennsylvania) are “prenup friendly”, meaning they treat prenups like contracts. As long as the prenup is properly drafted and properly executed, it will be upheld. The rules are tricky, so a prenup is not a DIY type of document. In other states the prenup must be fair and reasonable at the time it was signed and can’t be unconscionable at the time of divorce. In many Canadian provinces, the courts can modify a prenup or throw it out entirely.
@@eladbariAll states can alter a contract, in a courtroom, if it’s a terribly unfair or badly made contract. The problem with marriage is that legislators can modify the “deal” every time they have a session.
Then, because marriage is such an integral part of society, all sorts of other things get tied to it in laws every level. Gays would have been better off having the state stay out of their marriages. They would have had the best of both worlds. I guess they really valued the few legal advantages.
Government employees on pension systems and their spouses got really messed around by this stuff. I know one couple that ended not marrying over it, and both ended up single and alone.
Avoid "Marriage" TM and "Cohabitation" at ALL COSTS!
This is God awful advice to men. The type of women that men will want to build a future and family with will require marriage. A woman that is ok with a never ending LTR tells on herself regarding how lowly she sees herself. That doesn't end well. Sure if it ends since there's no marriage she doesn't take your stuff. But these types of relationships won't be fulfilling for real purpose driven men. There are methods beyond pre nups to protect assets such as setting up irrevocable offshore trusts in the right jurisdictions since no US Court can force them to do a damn thing.
My mother gave me a lot of the same advice in this video. She and my father met as teenagers through an activity that would eventually become a very good career for both of them. Married shortly after graduating college, and eventually when she decided she wanted to focus on raising a child (me) she retired early and did so. They are still happily together, having been married for 41 years.
I worked hard and have followed them into the same profession, however I never found a woman who would invest in a relationship with me when I was young. Now at 32 having built a very good life by myself, it's getting harder and harder to tell if women are interested in me for me, or just because they want to slip into the life I've built without having invested in it...
Yes
Actually mpmd made a point which was to get the getting girls phase in your life behind as early as possible so you won't think that you can only get girls because of your job / money / car.
I definitely think there are parallels here.
"it's getting harder and harder to tell if women are interested in me for me"
Do you think they were doing that before? Doesn't sound like it. It's an unrealistic expectation to think that will drive their behavior. As if you're just a piece of art they've come to fancy intrinsically. That's projecting masculine-attitudes onto... well...
What worked for your parents doesn't have to work for you. Why do you find it difficult to access wether your potential partner is interested in you or your success? A lady of substance does't play mind games, is serious about her ambitions in life, is not looking for your money, but is making a living herself. Finding the right person is difficult, but not impossible. My good friend married 10 years ago and his wife was almost 40, just like him. They met on a silvester-party and are happily married with two sons. So, socialize and know what you're looking for.
I hate to say it but what your mom / dad have is slowly going extinct. Relationships now are becoming short-term value exchanges. If you want to deal with a woman you have to accept the risk, vet her for around 3 - 5 years, make sure she is calm, patient, agreeable, mentally and emotionally stable, and get a pre-nup. Also, maybe consider only having 1 kid to minimize the child support risk.
This is exactly why we read the story in Elementary School about the Little Red Hen.
She gave everybody else the chance to help her mix and bake the bread, but they all had better things to do. Now that the bread is done and fresh, you gets NONE
I drew exactly the same parallel as you without having seen your comment. Correct. It's essentially The Little Red Hen parable by another name.
The trouble is the parable already exists. This channel is just becoming an exercise in describing things we already know using novel analogies. Novel analogies are not solutions. Don't mistake the two things.
People are literally getting mesmerised by hearing old wisdom re-packaged (in this instance using sexy Tate/business speak) and thinking it's delivering a practical solution. It isn't.
In some ways, the argument is flawed. Why reward someone just because they were a founder at the right place and right time. And why punish someone who happened, through no fault of their own, who came later in the journey. Rather than rewarding someone based on a timeline, just get a pre-nup or do not marry in the first place.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 They’re not being rewarded for being in the right place at the right time, they’re being rewarded for the work theyput in to help build the value the man has today. The person who comes later isn’t being punished, they’re just not getting the rewards that a founder gets because they did not put in the effort to build that man. She can get a very respectable salary but she’s not entitled to what he built
Simple: only the ones who haven't yet found a suitable partner do watch channels like this and write comments. If somebody has a trustworthy partner, that he met late, he'd rather watch a parenting channel or a channel dedicated to a hobby.
@@user-mc7ez6lm4xWrong. Been with a woman for 5+ years who has very few red flags. I like to watch videos like this to stay on top of my game and also keep tabs on the culture. I don’t want to be like one of those fools who says “you’re just looking in the wrong places, you’ll find a good girl” when talking to the men in my life.
Fellas, it’s not your job to save a woman who made bad life choices when she was in her prime. When you’ve worked on yourself and also reach your prime, it’s only fair that you get your share of the cream of the crop as well. You don’t have to sacrifice your self interests for women who weren’t with you at your lowest. Fair is fair.💯
a-MEN! 🙌🏻
The man you're trying to talk to isn't here. Not yet. Maybe only on his death bed when it's too late.
@@FarmingUnclearYou’d be surprised.
This is LAW
@@Khan-rz8qi nope. He's 55 banging a 35 year old thinking he's landed the one but doesn't know the truth.
This is GENIUS. It’s also ironic that sometimes a breakup can fuel a man to success that he wouldn’t reach without that added motivation.
Unfortunately I agree. That's what happened to me. My last breakup angrily motivated me to focus on nothing but the gym and money. I was already in shape, but a year and a half later, I'm bigger AND more lean than before, AND my yearly earnings are almost double, with A LOT more on the way. But it took more than just a breakup. It took the most insulting, disrespectful, slap in the face of a breakup for me to finally get it through my head that I needed to make SERIOUS changes. I'd heard everything before, but it never really STUCK until I got cheated on and left for a man that my ex said was hyper abusive, abused her kids (that weren't his), fist fought her elderly father, he traumatized her whole family, to the point that she had nightmares and said she'd rather be waterboarded to death than be in the same room with him again. Obviously, she lied about a whole lot of that. But it was the INSULT of it that lot the fire under my ass
Since then, I've stayed single, had hookups, and focused on money and body. And I've genuinely never been happier in my adult life, or maybe even my childhood
Some will say "you need to heeeeeel from the trauma". But no, I'd genuinely rather not. That made me into the best version of myself that had ever existed so far, and I'm only headed much farther from here
@@tdaye6978 That’s wild. Sounds like she made a major mistake and I’m sure she regrets those decisions. Good for you man.
I’m in a similar boat rn. Pretty fresh off a breakup and more motivated than ever.
Yeah dude. This guy’s channel is full of gems like this
My ex calling me broke was the best fuel for my business so now I make 6 figures and she’s still a waitress without health insurance
if yoiu are red pilled and industrial, you can only be on your way to success unless you still a dummy smoking pot, playing videogames and sleepwalking tru life. when women are not around you dedicate all your money, energy attention and time to yourself. you are not influenced emotionally by others, u a lone wolf. protect your meat sout coach greg adams
Several years ago I was talking to a young man in Los Angeles who was attending dental school--not to become a dentist, he already was one. He went back to dental college to become an endodontist (specialist in diseases of the dental pulp and nerve, think root canals). He was driving his old family car and living in a cheap apt. to save money as he pursued his studies. He told me the women he met didn't want to date him even though he explained he was already a dentist and just going for an advanced degree in a specialty. He said their attitude was, "What can you do for me right now?" None seemed aware of his future earning potential which was excellent.
If only the laws surrounding the dissolution of a relationship understood this principle.
"They" understand it perfectly.
It's up to the individual to study the laws, and make the correct choices for themselves.
Prenup.
@@brandonross4632 The problem with pre-nups is that not only do they need to be exhaustively setup to prevent loopholes, any jackass of a judge can set it aside simply because he or she doesn't like it. What kind of messed up "justice" system do we have that a judge can dismiss a binding agreement because he doesn't like it?
@@someguyusa They don't have to be "exhaustive"--unless you have a very complicated life. And wise people, appoint an arbitrator on the financial issues, because federal law then takes that power away from state judges. What you can't typically do, is defer child support and custody issues--that's highly variable. Your parachute might fail or malfunction. But if you're going to jump, I'd still grab one on the way out the door.
I saw this with my parents. My mother put my father through law school when they were in their early 20s. They were very poor and we lived in a studio apartment when I came along, as my father was still in law school. Over the years things improved and my mother was able to stay home and raise us. She managed all things at home while my father worked years of insane hours and eventually started his own practice. My mother was and still is extremely frugal and never overspent what my father made. Although she worked part time after we left home, it was a choice. Now they are 80 and 78 yrs old, still married and sharing the equity, to which she is definitely entitled because she was the co-founder of the enterprise. Edited to add: my mother took a big risk. Even my father’s family thought he wouldn’t amount to much. My mother believed in him and she was right.
This brings a smile to my face
Absolutely beautiful story
While I appreciate this story, I think the key take away isn't that she stood by him, but that he wasn't a coward. He could've easily smeared her as "easy" and left her to fend for herself, but he didn't so I think thats what makes this story all the more special. I've always believed the true measure of love isn't in what you can get, but in what you could do, yet won't.
@@-glitch-8195 that’s actually very true. My father had a brilliant 45 year career as a litigator and I am sure he had many opportunities to “trade up.” But he was and is a man of integrity. He informed me recently of their financial holdings because he wanted me to know that in the event of his passing, there is enough money to take care of my mother should she live another 40 years, which she obviously won’t. The integrity has to be on both sides to make the enterprise work.
Different era, different times. The world has changed over 3 times from those days.
Here, we're analysing the dating market today, not of yesteryear.
This sums up 50 yrs of life experience (my life) in 9 minutes. I think a lot of men understand this, but the majority of modern females don't understand . A good life is built over time. The hardships build character. I wish this is presented in every high school across this nation.
If you weren't there during my struggle, don't expect to be there during my success.
@@DuncanL7979My first wife used to refer to me as her "investment."
When I had difficulty getting started in my chosen profession, she left. Then shortly after she did, things stared taking off for me.
It's not only betting on a dark horse, you also have to not bail every time the market dips.
Good riddance, good thing I found out before things started working out rather than after.
The path of success for men and women is different. Men have to grind and build their value. Women have to optimize and maintain their value.
many women today want the high-priced stock at a discount or for free
When I met my wife, I was paying myself £4K per month from my biz - very low for London. She committed to me long before things took off - and they really took off. Today we have the dream home and the fancy cars and holidays but I know we built it together. I love the fact that we met before there was anything much to show for my efforts.
You are very fortunate.
What did she help build?
Our family
Remember listening to a few of your books on audible years ago. From memory they were very high quality, better than the rest in that genre from memory
People change my friend. She can always evoke the third party in marriage contract just because she is bored and wants her half and move on to something else
This is a truth I have known since I was young, very good to see it come to light. Why would you give someone half of your assets that didn't help you get them? Part of the blame is on the men that are dumb enough to give women everything when they don't deserve it.
Most of the blame. The union dissolves decades ago and the men are still paying union wages for non union labor.
Agreed. If men would stop giving half their assets to women who only showed up after they crossed the finish line, women would (eventually) stop this behavior. Eventually. They are slow learners. So I also blame the men. However, I do get it. Man goes his whole life with leftover scraps of ugly women at best, gets money right, and is SO happy to FINALLY have a slightly above average woman interested in him. He's so used to 2's and 3's that to him, a 6 looks like a 10. So he QUICKLY puts a ring on it, thinking he's the luckiest guy in the world. Then BOOM, she leaves with half
This is why I agree with F&F in that, if you'rein the west, you need to sleep with AT LEAST a couple dozen women, probably a lot more, before finding a wife. Otherwise, you will be duped by shit that would otherwise be seen a mile away by a man with experience
I lost 70% of my money and assets in my UK divorce, including my house. Regardless of whether the women is a founder or employee, there should always be a pre-nup. Even in the USA, many divorces end up 70 : 30 after factoring in legal fees and alimony.
It males sense
As an older never married female, if (Big If), I ever met someone who was already successful, I would not expect any of it. As long as he stays away from what is mine- I will leave his alone.
When I met my now ex-wife, I lived in a van. She was young and beautiful, and had been a model, but she bought into my Potential. Over the next 20 years, I built us a national business. When I left her and divorced her. She got a massive divorce settlement and I don’t worry about it for a second because she earned the equity.
@@jollypolly1686 Lack of sexual effort and blow jobs, she became lazier and lazier, she was always feeling superior and fighting with people once we had a lot of money, and she let herself get fatter. I made myself into a guy in the top couple of percent of the world, and with women throwing themselves at me, it was easy to pluck a new one off the tree as often as I wanted I gave her many many many opportunities to get her shit together like it was when we were young. Men need to stop tolerating subpar women. If your woman knows she is absolutely replaceable in a second she will make a lot more effort to be irreplaceable.
There is a reason why it is called "partner", if you show up after everything is build by one worker, you are applying for a job, a temporary or career, but it is just a job.
I think you underestimate the loneliness that awaits men. When you finally have it all built up but you're 55 and there's only used 35 year olds available.
Well......that's what happens when you lead with money. Your youth degrades as you age. Should've been quicker?@@FarmingUnclear
Meh, if you're rich enough, young 20 years olds all over the world will be available. That's just reality.
@@georgedang449 yeah. Define rich enough? A million dollars and your own home doesn't seem to cut it. Not me. Just someone I'm watching.
@@FarmingUnclearI don't know where you're from but please leave that area and move somewhere more affordable.
I recently went bust trying to chase my dreams with no obvious success behind me. What I was most surprised is most of my male Friends showed support while I lost females friends (who knew friendships with females was based upon status) and my sister and mother where putting me down more. A year later a lot of success has come and now guess claps for me. My biggest concern in a relationship- now females show interest- is finding one who would hang around in the bad time and show support instead of turning up for the claps
Your biggest concern should be your ability to learn from history.
Good one Orion. One thing I would add : it would tremendously help women to have a father in their lives, both growing up and actively helping to vet men for her.
I once wholeheartedly believed in the concept of aslong as she has a father, she most likely would be a good partner. But honestly I think we are staring to see the rise of lack a better term but beta husbands who either work too much to instruct the daughters or masculine wives who overrule their husbands. The whole “I gotta ask the boss” mentality and constant submission to make the wives happy has brainwashed the daughters into thinking this is the correct dynamic between a husband and wife. Kinda think marriage is basically only for couples who fall in love early before the variety exaggerates expectations on both sides
As a father of three teenage girls, I agree this is true. I now represent the 'patriarchy'; every tip or suggestion I give them is met with disdain. It's a tricky situation as I want to turn out happy balanced women who will form great bonds in their life (whether that is with a man or not). But it seems that all the influences in their life - the media, education, and sometimes their mother, no longer want this @@nes6493
Most if these women have fathers, the brainwashing is some where else now where to be found I don't know, idk, where women are getting this mentality.
@@nes6493oh, yes, that could be where they're getting this mentality, that's is true. Too.
10 years ago, all I had was my fitness and the prospect of a good career. I had student debt, lived at home, and only made $40k per year. No woman wanted to commit to me for the long haul back then. But now I have little debt, still physically fit, a house, a great career and salary, and no longer drive a shit box. I look at the prospects surrounding me and say nah. It's also hilarious when they get mad when you refuse to commit, especially when they bring kids, a used p*ssy, trauma, and debt to the table. These ladies are looking for a bailout. Never give in.
Why can't you just attract women with no kids and low debt and baggage?
If you get with a young girl, she will also only be there for your money. No different than an older woman.
@@EC-yl7xka young girl who were raised to value men...might do! However, don't press your luck in the West. 😂
This makes sense to me. The problem is a lot of women live & dream by the movie "Pretty Woman," where a prostitute that's made bad choices all her life suddenly has a chance to land a young, handsome, and available billionaire. I can't tell you how many women have praised & fantasized about that movie.
funny thing is society seems to be fine about this female fantasy while if a man fantasizes winning the lottery after decades of laziness, he would be met with distain.
Most modern women believe that "Pretty Woman" is a documentary.
“Poor deluded women”.
-Batman.
There's not many Captain Save A Hoe in real life. Those men are ridiculized.
You're making shit up.
This is rock-solid advice for the ladies, but don't forget the real goal, fellas. It's not enough to pursue excellence for just yourself. You need to marry and start a family, and encourage your kids to pursue excellence for themselves. Leave this world in better shape than when you entered it.
Best way to do that is to not have kids.
MGTOW or die
@@ericlarousse1149Best way to swim is not to swim?
Sounds like you don't trust in your own ability to create a great growing environment for your offspring. You're welcome to remove yourself from the genepool but it's never been easier to raise a family.
My father's generation grew up after WW2 in the forest with 5 kids in the family. I have it easy materially.
"You need to marry and start a family, and encourage your kids to pursue excellence for themselves" What on Earth for????? A confirmed slave!
No one NEEDS to marry!!!
As a lawyer, this is one of the best business/investment advice I have heard in a while, notwithstanding the fact that it was meant to be interpreted in romantic terms. Great piece.
Spot on.
I would add also: now I can buy anything I want, I find I want relatively little.
41, no debt, technically a millionaire, making well over 6 figures in my own businesses, and I like this analogy
probably the best video here. clearly explains why the dating is broken. women wait at the finish line to pick the winners. problem is most winners have been through tough battles completely alone, they don't give a 💩 anymore. you will always remember the times you were down and women made it worse for you, sometimes for no reason, they just view you as subhuman if you're not on their wishlist of fantasy life / radar of financial gain. good luck, gentlemen and good luck, ladies, let's see who handles this game of life better
I struggled in my twenties before moving to the other side of the world in my early 30s. Things came together for me, but in that environment there were quite a few guys with truly impressive salaries. After a few years I came to realize the available women were ‘passed over’ as Joni Mitchell might say. And by the time I was partied out and I thought I was really ready to settle down, the single life was what I really knew. We’re not all the marrying type.
I always love your analogies!
I am in the same position as you. I think it was actually for the better you didn’t get any “help” from women back then and got to learn all the marketing, sales, etc. In my case, I got “lucky” and got “help” from a woman. I found a wife back when I was not high value. But I didn’t understand male/female dynamic (That was a time before great UA-cam channel like yours exist). I thought marriage is about locking down the hottest woman I can find and give her everything she wants. Happy wife happy life. So I couldn’t handle my wife and got a divorce. I guess my “billion dollar company” didn’t take off until after my divorce and several relationship after. I am in the best shape now both physically, mentally and career-wise. My gf’s now are stunners, and my current gf says she wish she had the younger me when I was more malleable, like when I was in my marriage. But I assured her if acted like that she wouldn’t be attracted to me.
Founder equity = marriage, and employee salary = girlfriend. I would argue that marriage is a terrible idea regardless of being a founder or employee. Very few founders or employees want to stay with a company for 50 years. And some leave on very bad terms where there is no pre-nup in place. Founder = in the right place, at the right time.
this sums up alot of my dating frustrations pretty well. I would have been so proud to share my equity but women just dont look at it that way. the internet makes them think there are plenty of CEO's to go around
Instead of listening to this and practicing, wait until they call you a misogynist for giving them game!
Facts, Sir. As always!!! Thank you!
misogynist is the new black 😎
It makes perfect sense. Doubtful the people that need it can understand it.
I was thinking the same thing. A logical analogy is too much for some women.
This is business analagy of a book I read called "Marry Him, The case for Mr. Good Enough" by Lori Gottleib. To summarize, select your husband while you're young because it doesn't get any easier with time. You can't have everything and career women often miss out on a family and are filled with regret. I agree. The purest loves you have are when you're young and your best opportunities are in high school and college when you're surrounded by peers your age, have tons of free time usually, everybody looks their best, and most people don't have too much baggage.
I actually agree100% with marrying young.
This is so true! I busted my butt in the oilfield for years, while going to school, to be able to quit and go full time, to finally land a job as a software engineer, make good money, work on my masters degree (almost done) and buy myself a house hack. I would have loved some help! But I didn’t get it. Only now I’m starting to get a few resumes/ applications not a lot only a few. And what I can say is that I’m not risking half of what I built.
This is such a great analogy, A+
This channel is THE ABSOLUTE BEST channel that converts harsh jagged red pill realities into a soft coated gel pill that women can easily digest without getting offended or disgusted. Absolutely brilliant Orien. I have successfully kept me and my girlfriend both happy with this style of delivery in my personal life.
He's really good at trigger-free delivery
Not just women, man men can understand this . Dr. Tarabins approach and verbiage with is what the Red Pill community needed.
Lol someone will still find a way to be offended.
@@Prof.Maxwell I have no doubt. Lol.
I keep a word document of quotes and sayings that resonate with me. I’ve kept a running document for close to twenty years. This quote has been added to it.
“Only founders get equity.”
Simple, yet profound, and ultimately nonnegotiable when you really think about it.
💯💯💯
Women don't care about your struggles , They only wait at the finish and F the winners. As a man you are invisible to women but when you become the finish product you're now her shining knight in armor. Chaotic at it's best. Grind hard brothers for yourself only and those that love you.
His point is that, if you're succesful when you meet then you can demand a prenup
Red pill awareness: if you win the race, you become a target.
@@SmileyEmoji42 You can and YOU SHOULD
I know two older couples where the man is a successful lawyer in both cases.
Two couples, two patterns:
Bob and Barbara met when they were young, in high school. Barbara worked at a job to put Bob through an undergraduate degree, then Bob got into law school. Right after law school, Barbara got pregnant. Bob made a lot of money, they had some nice kids. Barbara made a lot of money, by her good choices in life. She had a family. Her financial success came about, by her initial founder's equity in Bob....by sticking with him from the start. Barb earned her success: Barb took a lot of risk at the start, she didn't know if Bob would make it. She believed in Bob, helped him become a success. And neither one of them had other partners. So: Barb deserves every cent she got, because of her loyalty, hard work and because she had a family with Bob.
That's what binds people together, justifies sharing of financial success: loyalty, hard work, sacrifice, having a family together. Without those? Sharing is not justified.
The second older couple is Frank and Mary. Frank is a successful lawyer, now retired. Frank and Mary lived together when they were both young. Both had a lot of sexual partners along the way. Typical hippies. I always felt that in jumping from bed to bed, both Frank and Mary were training themselves and were training their partners, that the other person was replaceable.
I think the real problem with hopping between beds, is not the act itself. The act is fun. The real problem is: this is exactly a training exercise. It's a 'big picture' thing: By hopping from bed to bed, we train ourselves and we train the other person, we both train each other, that the other person is expendable, that we always have more chances, with future people.
Then after training each other for years in bad behavior, we humans often down the road, we expect high moral behavior from the other person. That's unrealistic. We have that unrealistic expectation, after a long process of essentially training each other, how to be disloyal and betray the other person...then we expect loyalty? That's really stupid and self-destructive, in the long run. Where does this lead? That often leads to ruin....in the long run of a person's life. Especially for women, since their breeding window is much shorter, than it is for men....particularly for successful men.
The Sexual Revolution of my hippie generation lied to women. The lie was: you have forever.
How did the story end, for Mary and Frank?
Mary sacrificed for Frank, for much of her 20s. Then as success loomed: Frank dumped Mary after he graduated, for a younger hotter wife. Frank went on, to great financial success. Mary ended up a working class waitress her whole life. Mary is a feminist.
Mary never had a family, Mary kept sleeping around, as her SMV declined over time. Frank's younger hotter wife got all the financial benefit of Mary's hard work. The young hotter wife, got all the founder's equity....even though she was not a founder, she did not sacrifice. Mary sacrificed...and got nothing.
Is Frank a jerk? Yes. Did Mary in her choices, inadvertently encourage Frank to become a jerk? Yes. That doesn't mean Frank is innocent, it just means women should not do things that encourage men to be jerks. Women should not train men, to be jerks. They do, all the time. Men should not train women, to be jerks. They do, all the time. You reap what you sow, people....in the long arc of life. Make good choices in life.
One of my favourite quotes is “If you want a higher quality life, make higher quality decisions “ (Jim Rohn)
The story you provided is largely anecdotal though. There are men who dump their loyal partners after becoming very successful, even though they were a traditional couple and not swingers.
I think Frank would have still been with Mary if she wasn't hopping beds. Yeah the man did it, so the woman should do it too? Who lost at the end?
This puts into words how I have intuitively felt for a long while. I think I'd been subconsciously avoiding accepting how transactional it is; how our 'civilized' social norms are a quietly accepted kayfabe to justify that transactionality without making the procedure feel crass and gauche.
Between our Web 2.0 society and our Gilded Age 2.0 economy, we haven't, or can't, figure out how to make men and women meet in the middle and form mutually-satisfying common bonds.
Some men enjoy teasing women and rocking their emotions, and often do so without any guilt. The Trojan horse teaches an important lesson on identifying manipulation.
Fantastic video. everything you’re discussing in this video is something that women have already realized, hence why a lot of us choose salaries rather than equity.
The real issue here is no-fault divorce.
Sounds like my marriage. It was rarely 50/50, in fact it was often 95/5 or 5/95. The risk ratio swings back and forth until you share in the equity you grew together through thick and thin. When you are in it for life you have the rare luxury of time to work out every issue that comes up along the way; you are invested totally, perfecting your relationship till death do you part.
This is PURE GOLD! Sounds a lot like Self Mastery! 😍😍 The no’s allowed you to step up and be that for yourself! This video was for me! I know the man in me (I’m a women) is nervous to step up and the women I am even after years of healing is a little nervous to surrender her dreams. But it’s time to build. Just me and me. I needed this! Thank you! ❤️
Every move you make in life is an investment, make you’re decisions wisely.
I think your analogy is very good. However, it think it really applies to same age/similar age relationships. I think when wealthy men go for much younger women there’s - rightly or wrongly - a transaction of youth for financial acquisition. Hence, the divorce payout can be a compensation for lost youth during the relationship. Since their early 20s were dedicated to making their partner happy rather than building their education/career. Of course, they could do both, however, I think the age gap yields a power play that prohibits self expression of the younger party.
I don’t think these kind of dynamics are healthy for either party. But there’s an understandable transaction.
In wealth you can say there is a power play but what is the power play in age gap only?
Seing people as transactional and disposable is so dystopian...
As soon as I saw the title i I knew exactly what he was going to refer back to the find your darkhorse video.
The story of my life.
Lol. You are smart 💞✨
Very true. Sleeping with the winner is not the same as helping prepare for the race.
This is a very factual presentation and well worth the time. Thank you Orion!
I love when they want to know how you’re doing, twenty years later. Great video and analogy.
Word. My ex did nothing to help and crazy things to interfere with my business then wanted a chunk of revenue when I threw her out parasite fail but lesson learned
The next one will be a parasite too.
Women calling you a misogynist incoming
You should have chosen better
@@bellavega8048 Oh yeah for sure I didn’t know all the red flags 🚩 living proof
I did the dark horse thing. . I helped a young guy make it early in life. Now I have wealth and benefits and property and my kids are all set: , healthy, happy and educated. Once he got going, my husband got it all for us! Orion, thanks. I feel vindicated by your commentary. 🎉
That's a great analogy. You clearly explain what so many of us feel lurking deep in the recesses of our intuition.
This video is brilliant! If you ask an older couple who've been married for 50+ years how they made it, they will tell you that when they started, they didn't have two nickels to rub together. They built what they have together and because of that, they both value it a lot. Today, women say they want to build but that's not what they do, instead, they want to move in. Guys who've already built success are going to be wary of such women and most will never commit to them they way they want. If they didn't help them build, they don't get to be part of the reward. BTW, you have to go back on Fresh and Fit but next time, stay for the afterhours show which I know they didn't have when you went last time.
It makes sense. I know this is anecdotal but when I use to date, my experience was that nerdy guys who make less money than you as a woman usually just got really mean out of intimidation. Sometimes its not just about the resources themselves, sometimes guys are genuinely just mean to you if you make more money than them no matter how modest you are so by necessity you have to date a guy that has skills so that they don’t get egotistical, buy themselves a car with your money and then leave because the next woman doesn’t know they didn’t buy the car themselves. I found that guy nerds are often egotistical, weirdly enough- its not only about the resources themselves, females have to date men that make more money than them because men get weird at you otherwise- and if they don’t get weird at you and have a bit more integrity then they sulk because they just don’t want to admit to themselves that they feel bad about themselves for not being able to provide like they want…..so its not really always that women are greedy, I had to learn the hard way to not be so generous even though that was my natural inclination. That being said, I am so lucky to find the guy I did now because he is genuinely a good person.
Or could it be that when you were younger and dating, you were insufferable and that was a turn off to men because of your money or making more money than them, which is natural because money turns most people into assholes and you matured and got more tolerable which is also natural as we get used to more money.
It happens to both men and women and happens more often than the other person being intimidated by our success
Nobody is intimidated your money, why do women always use this word, there is nothing that most women could do to intimidate most men
@@rambojambo588There is an intimidation factor in the idea, if their presence (irrationally) makes you feel unworthy. But that's because you view them as an idea, not as a person.
You can see it basically 2 ways, first is glorification, other is separation and avoidance, to protect your ego. (You can be rude as defense mechanism)
But I do agree that I don't see a reason why would a man be scared by woman's competition (through money, dilligence etc.), in those cases I can only see it being just a deterrent for wanting anything beyond friendship.
So clear and precise...I like the way you speak metaphorically when making your points. My psychology on courtship and life has never been the same since I found this channel mid 2022.This is so true about women...they stand in the sidelines while you as man you struggle to make ends meet. Then as soon as you hit the jackpot they come back running.
Man this hits hard. How different could things have beenwoukd someone joined my team. But also it may have been an itter drag on my life.. who knows. But damn i wanted it so bad. That really does hit hard
Need to know the nuance between an asset & a liability.
Orion, amazing analogy.
Guys - forget all this bargaining mentality.
Give generously and expect nothing back. For one can only truly give, if one truly has in the first place.
Kill the resentment mindset
Live free
Enjoy yourself
Seek flow
Serve
And make freeing the spirit your number one goal in life
To live like the Sun, what an incredible achievement that would be. Is it possible for humans to attain such divinity? Rare indeed.
@@blairsaid🙏🙏🙏💫💫💫
Amazing advice to end up without a dime after divorce lmao
I absolutely knew I wanted to build with a man. When I was in my early 20s I knew that I wanted to start with nothing and build an empire together. This is only scary for lazy women. We're married 23 years now. My husband had nothing and now he's in the highest income bracket. It took 19 years of marriage to get to this point. We were both better together than separately.
You are 100% right. No woman is entitled to half of what a man built without her. Social media has wrecked women's minds.
That's why I do not understand men who are in their 40s and 50s and marry women in their 20s. She's never worked for anything in her life because she hasn't lived long enough. And then they are shocked when this same woman leaves them and takes half their stuff.
I don't think men should wait until they are successful to THEN find a woman. Because he will never know if she's with him for him or his provision. Your advice is good. But so many relationship channels tell men the opposite. Become successful then find a woman. It just doesn't work that way from the woman's perspective. She'll never appreciate what she married into.
You are your own startup; a unicorn in the making:
Fund yourself,
Fund the mental,
Fund your core team,
Angel invest in yourself,
Venture Capital yourself,
Bootstrap yourself
Sweat equity yourself
Private equity yourself
Whoever stuck with you in your developmental years could be given dividends if you choose to.
Don't compete, determine your USP, and market the hell out of your chosen market segment.
Plan your exit, too. Whether that's being acquired in an M&A, or an IPO.
Haha, how would you make an analogy out of M&A or an IPO?
Women dont play to win. They play to not lose. Not that many men are any different, but the risk aversion and temperament is clearer in one group than the other.
If she wasn't there for you when you were struggling, she doesn't deserve you when you're successful.
This is by fr the best analogy of what the relationship dynamic should be according to your development stage, props.
Your examples are so accurate and yet not offensive at all. Thanks!
Dear Orion, your comment seems fair enough. People have to help you out if they want Equity. This is a very simple rule of the game. It seems very sound and full of equilibrium. Fair enough.
Dr. Orion I cannot underestimate how much I can relate to this video. I’m currently 43 and embarking on an incredibly similar journey that you described in this here video.
Having undergone an extremely challenging and turbulent past 6 years (dad getting diagnosed with cancer/dying, wife leaving during that time, wrongful allegations from an employees of mine amongst other health concerns) it left me in a very dark place and financially broken.
I’ve spent the past 2+ years turning my life around improving every aspect of my life. I’m in great shape mentally, physically and spiritually and my newish business is about to explode.
Like you I would have loved to have found a woman to embark on this journey to assist, grow and build together. Tragically, as you mention, most women want to wait at the finish line and pick a winner. I had to learn all the skills you mention myself and in the end I couldn’t be happier doing it my way on my terms.
If and when the day comes that people want a piece of the pie i poured my heart and soul into, I’ll be laughing my ass off
Having my own business that I've built by myself since 2019 I completely connect with this message. Great analogy to relationships
Or like Drizzy once said in reference to the late Kobe Bryant; “B*tch, you wasn’t with me shooting in the gym..” 🤣
Well, there are also stories when a girl finds a poor guy and supports him in his endeavors, they live together, get married, the guy gets rich and eventually gets rid of the old wife to get a young gorgeous Bamby. The story of Russian oligarch Potanin is an example. She was with him since they were students, but after 20+ years of marriage she got something like an old dacha, that's it. The guy was explicitly saying - sorry, dear, you are too old now, we had our days, it's time to change. If the guy gets too rich, he gets connections and power to do whatever he wants. If you invest money into an actual startup, there is a legal mechanism assuring that you get your share of dividends, in a marriage "I have always been supporting him" is not really legally tangible.
I’m in my mid 40s and the notion of dating means it takes way from my investing for a retirement that isn’t that far away.
What are you going to do when you retire?
@@FarmingUnclear sail away in search of sandy beaches.
@@FarmingUncleargo to Philippines and date women in their 20s, like so many retirees have been doing for decades. More recently, young digital nomads working remotely have been doing the same.
@@FarmingUnclearAnything he wants!
@@ryans2829 nice
That makes too much sense. That comes under the heading of brutal honesty.
Intimate relationships of any kind should be viewed as a type of business.
I am constantly baffled by the fact that how most women are used to just sit back and pick a man she likes by simply presenting herself with zero or minimal game. The idea of competition from other women who are more attractive never registered in their minds. Yes, waiting at the finish line from female perspective is a smarter option since you don't know which man is the real dark horse, but when every other woman thinks the same, the strategy immediately falls short for obvious reasons. Winners are always the contrarians. Men learn this early while women never seem to learn it.
Y'all comment like women these days don't go to school, work and have careers. Many women today are very successful and don't need men financially.
@@1856outlanderwomen can absolutely be successful career wise. However if you want to be successful and have a family the game then favors men. He touches on it in this video about women would be wise to marry early then chase her career but he goes more in-depth in a different video
This reason is somewhat twofold. First women have a clock on physically being able to have a family and a psychological clock on wanting one. Men don't and are able to father kids into their 70s, it's not fair but biology doesn't have to be. The second reason is women have an innate nature to choose a man more successful than they are so as a woman becomes more successful she's dwindling down the number of men she'd accept as a partner (to the men that are even more successful than her). To top this off the men even more successful than her likely won't choose her and would choose a younger, prettier, more fertile woman because most men (especially highly successful ones) don't highly value a woman's success or money. Obviously if a woman can overcome this natural instinct she'd have more options but many women don't or won't. Women may not need a man financially but their innate desire still wants one more successful than they are.
Again it comes down to the highly different mating strategies of men and women.
@@dukekessler6292Again, I reiterate, most men are unable to become full providers. Even if she chooses to marry in her 20s, most men her age are unable to provide. You can say men prefer much younger women, but the average age gap between married couples is within 2-4 years. Google the average salary of a 30-year-old male in the US. It's around 56K.
Secondly, men do have a biological clock. Sperm quality at 70 is not the same as sperm quality at 30. Why do you think sperm banks have a cut off limit on age? They do not accept male donors past 35.
Thirdly, some limited studies have shown when the wife out earns, the husband is more likely to cheat, struggle with erections, etc.
@@1856outlander Cool but what does that have to do with competing for a worthy man against more attractive women?
You all sound like people that are being manipulated to work more to buy stuff you don't need to impress people you don't like in order to have something others decided you should have.
Who benefit from this disguised slavery ? 🙃
It's like the popular modern trope states: "women wait at the finish line". But this is the society we have built for ourselves when things have become about "what can you provide to me" (6', 6 figure, 6-pack, etc.) rather than a society that values "what can we build together", regarding relationships.
thank you for your amazing content mr. taliban.
Taraban 😂
Bruh, bruvva said taliban
😮😂
this is pin material :D
😂😂
It's been said many times before by many men... women hang out at the finish line and pick the winners
Men risk the most and receive the least rewards. Is it even worth it?
Men don't risk pregnancy and abandonment. It's not men vs women but humanity together.
That's not what modern women think bud. Cope
No.
@@onassismothoa1561Men risk being made into slaves for 18 years while having their children stripped away from them and abused.
@@onassismothoa1561 What risk is pregnancy when you can just take a pill?
Lovely episode.
Condescend-ed women (who do not practise African culture) when he said, "buy low, sell high." Haha
I like this episode.
Genius video BTW. Your analogy to business with relationship is one I never considered. Thank you Orian
In the words of Dan Pena men compete and women wait at the finish line for their best option... don't hold it against them instead find a woman who has as much or more to offer than you do if you can find anyone that great. You're an intelligent guy I hope you're not choosing to be bitter but rather are just waiting for your own best option
Doc said "you werent with me shooting in the gym" 😂😂😂
Shout out to Drake. 😂
Women like to say “you can’t make decisions based on potential.”
But no, actually, you can and DO it all the time.
What you really mean to say is “nothing is gurunteed in life no matter how much you want it.”
We live in a world where logic and reason apply only in business. Everything else is chaos and mayhem. Eventually it ll catch up in that last place too and thats the end.
This lecture should be heard by anyone thinking of entering a serious LTR., both male and female.
I have a female friend who gave up her prime reproductive years supporting her man who dumped her as soon as his business - initially supported by her family - gained traction, so I can understand why a woman would want to wait until a guy has got his act together before partnering up.
The bottom line is if you think the person you’re going out with has potential, yet they won’t commit to marriage after a year, you’re being used.
Eladbari - there is a way. It's referred to as "LATS" an acronym for Living Alone Together.
The people love each other, care, support, and enjoy an exclusive relationship, BUT the things they don't relinquish is their own place to live, their bank account, their investments, their dignity or autonomy.
It works fine, because they don't live together, don't get on each other's nerves, and claim their own space for time with their own children and relatives.
Trust and respect usually grow, rather than diminish.
I'd prefer to be in a LATS relationship than in a marriage or living together arrangement.
Modern men and women don't easily fit into social norms from way past times anymore
Greetings from Auckland New Zealand 🇳🇿
Exactly!! I made the comment earlier that when men get successful they always leave the one who sacrificed and struggled with them for a shiny plastic bimbo!!! So this doctor needs to find some new perspectives!!! All the billionaires did it elon, bezos etc.
@chercher304 were those guys ever really broke? Most of them started off with good prospects
@@gasphynx jeff bezos's wife worked and supported him while he was starting up amazon in their garage!!
Funny how Dr. Orion didn't talk about a woman's risk in marrying potential.
Basically the nice way to say - “B*tch you wasn’t with me shooting in the gym”. Brilliantly Done
Yep, 44 and single now, very little help from women. The last one I thought she understood, but then she quit working, but kept pulling a paycheck until a couple months ago. Now I am back on my own and my business is almost ready to run itself. I will not propose again for the rest of my life! (I did buy 3 different rings)
I don’t understand, was she working for you and just stop fulfilling her duties or she quit her day job somewhere else?
@@bellavega8048 because the video is speaking somewhat metaphorically about a woman's work I can understand how my comment seems off, I will do my best to clarify. When I say she "Quit working" she was still working at her job, what she quit doing for the last 5 years of our relationship, she quit helping me pay any of the bills, every time I brought it up it was a fight and I make MORE than enough to pay the bills so I gave up on asking, Then she quit cleaning (Because it was boring, her own words) She did still do her own laundry but that was pretty much it. We shared the cooking (Because I like to cook) eventually that stopped too, I was doing 90% of the cooking at the end. I am not saying that cooking OR cleaning is a woman's role, but I will say for the last 3-4 years of our relationship she did not contribute in a meaningful way. The truth is I would have put up with it if she would have stayed nice. She got more angry with every passing day and our fights were every interaction. Edit: Our relationship lasted 11 years.
Absolutely! You’re right on the MONEY!
equity = marriage and commitment 💯
equity = short term pain + delayed gratification.
having been a high-potential young man, I totally agree with his assessment n advice. I had plenty of offers from super smart n very attractive young ladies. women are very smart with choosing their husband candidates from an early age
Romance has entered the chat. On a serious note though the crazy thing to me isn't even the fact that they are usually solely waiting at the finish line for the winners it's moreso the inflation that is involved. Like nothing is good enough even when the value is immensely high and they have absolutely no stake in it. It's like coming to a negotiation with little to offer but demanding a lot yourself.
On a final note, it seems today has a problem of women cashing in their chips too late and men cashing in their chips too early. With respect to marriage.
This is great, I have been trying to find a way to explain this concept to others for while now. I try and explain that marriage becomes less and less valuable each day for Men and can go to 0 or even negative. At 46 years old and fairly successful I can't see any reason what so ever to get married. I gain nothing and risk half of everything.
Mostly men commenting here.
The analogy with a "business transaction" is not valid for me.
We married at age 21 and 22 years, grew together from nothing, built a good business, a good family, 3 children and a secure life together.
All those years I gave were the best years of my life, my body, my brains, my sincere and loyal love and support.
What could possibly go wrong?
He turns 40, has a giant male breakdown mid-life crisis, and divorces himself from his "meat and 3 vege" as he called us.
OK, the good years were excellent and the bad years really bad.
Our story has nothing in common with the business analogy.
Life is always more nuanced and complicated in matters of the heart than any one theory or analogy can ever explain.
YOU ARE everything, my friend!! I FEEL THE WAY YOU FELT BACK THEN! AND I AM SOOO GRATEFUL to hear your story!! I see the future---SO MANY "FRIENDS" "FAMILY" etc ARE GONNA KICK THEMSELVES IN THE HEADS FOR NOT BETTING ON ME NOW!! (and YES I TOTALLY GET IT! but still...)
I did this with my ex husband and he cheated end getting her pregnant and we divorced. Now I'm successful and he's stuck with the other women and a baby in her parents house. I tried to support his vision because that what my parents raised me to help your partner 💯. But it happens.
I empathise with you on this and I agree that it applies to men as well. Some men don't stay loyal to the woman who stood by them when they had nothing. In the end, there's no formula to life that works 100%. You can only do your part by seriously vetting someone's attitude and personality before committing to them.
So sorry to hear that. Agreed as Dr. Taraban said there is some risk that he may not succeed, may cheat, may pass away all after you give him your prime... the thing is to assess his ability and potential to go the distance but granted, risk is still there
we don't know the whole story yet
@@Neo-jty And we'll never know the whole story. However, the point remains that both men and women can be disloyal and opportunistic.
@@beno1129 men are easy to please, so if men are cheating, it's 99% women's fault, and here's the fact, break ups and divorces are another form of betrayal, but guess who initiate most of them? so I would argue that men are way loyal than women
This is so true. It really makes me question whether I’ll ever get married.
When he asked "Where were you twenty years ago? You weren't involved in the substantial risk" my brain said the only correct answer for her to give is "I wasn't born yet".
Sounds okay to me then.
😂
He's talking about women in his own age group who weren't interested 20 years ago but are interested now.
Wow, this was a fantastic analogy... "buy low sell high" LOL
ugly ducklings and dark horses should find each other now. somehow that doesn't always seem to work out either. I have tried.
The analogy is almost perfect. If the divorce laws were not (!!!) as they are (i.e. a woman would not get automatically half) things would be different. If you are a man in your 20 and pitch your vision to a girl to invest in you, you would be very weary if she said "sounds nice and I'm in, I want a prenup that says I will get half of what you'll worth at the time of my choosing". Marriage will become a transactional exchange in the future just like J Lo's and Ben Affleck's first marriage where their obligations were very specific in the prenup