What did you just give me!?
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- Опубліковано 26 лют 2023
- Just a little glimpse into my origin story.
Here’s the thing. The person I bought the soap for, the person who so embarrassed me, is also one of the nicest people I have ever met.
That’s something we need to keep in mind when we are talking to others, especially if someone has done something to “offend” you. It’s always best to meet people where they are and try to understand where they are coming from, whether you’re the one gifting toxic hand soap, or the one getting it.
I sometimes wonder to this day who I may have done this to without thinking about it. Who is my Emily? Who have I looked at and commented something along the lines of “that’s actually so toxic…” - assuming that we were on the same page when we actually weren’t?
The most important thing is to assume the best in people, be quick to forgive, and know that most people aren’t out to tear you down. And if they are, well, they are probably sad, unhappy people, and they need our love all the more.
#crunchymom #toxinfree #handsoap#shouldhavejustboughtsomeessentialoils #shorts
when someone can't even say thank you for a gift they don't deserve it 💀
I have enthusiastically thanked people for silk...wine bottle cozies. I didn't know that was a thing and we don't drink!
@@toomanymarys7355I didn't know it was a thing either and I own wine...now I feel bad that they are not cosy
yeah exactly. I would've taken it back and been like: your loss
I would have taken it back and left
@@kgabisopoto5039 I mean they don’t want it sooo big deal.
The soap wasn’t as toxic as her heart ☠️
Truth.
UA-cam asked me to rate your comment lol.
You ain’t lying
💙
Right?!?
the soap wasn't toxic, the "friend" was.
My exact thought!!
Amen
Yesss
Maybe the soap was alittle toxic 🤷🏻♀️ who knows or cares. That’s just not a way to treat someone giving you a gift.
@@AnActualWomanFr man-
As a self-aware scrunchy mom myself, I felt this in my very bones.
Sorry for not knowing, but what means scrunchy?
@@caro.s. semi-crunchy, like partially crunchy but not fully immersed.
@@terrietorgersenpeterson5414 oooh. That makes sense. Thank you for answering:)
@@caro.s. you could have figured it out
@@desertrose3511 thanks for your faith in me. As English is not my first language it sometimes takes a while to get the meaning of words, especially if they have different layers of meaning.
I don’t have pierced ears. People get me earrings from time to time. The response is always “thank you so much these are so pretty!”
You didn’t want to be friends with that toxic lady anyway.
Please read the caption, too! There’s a little more to it. 🥰
@@ReallyVeryCrunchy Thanks for pointing me to that. Captions are hidden pretty well in UA-cam Shorts. You have to hit the three dots and then select Description, so I usually don't read them.
It IS possible to convert earrings for pierced ears into clip ons. If you are so inclined.
@@pfifltrigg Thanks! I never knew there were captions!
@@pfifltriggjust learned how to read the caption/description of a UA-cam short and for that Thank you
This part of CrunchyMom's backstory
We need to see her ride through her villain arc so she can come to the true balance between a Crunchy life and a Sweet one
Wait, I thought it was a hero arc...😏
@@ReallyVeryCrunchy hilarious
years ago i deplasticked my kitchen. i spent weeks researching plastic alternatives and donating (yes! donating! other people need cookware, even if it’s plastic!) all of my plastic dishes. i was finally all set up, and i got a package in the mail from my best friend. inside was a couple of things, but she got me a travel mug… with a plastic lid. I simply thanked her and resolved to handwash in cool water. when she remembered that I was on an anti plasticking crusade, she was so apologetic!!! but i assured her that I loved it, and I would use it often!!! I always tell people: don’t stick the responsibility of pleasing you on people who are doing their best. don’t be nasty!!!!!! not everyone signed up for this lifestyle!
That’s because there’s something about the modern crunchy lifestyle that very few people are brave enough to acknowledge: it requires a certain level of privilege and wealth. When you’re living paycheck to paycheck like I do, you can’t be picky. If you need flatware or dishes, you buy whatever is cheapest. Would I like to have BPA-free, plastic-free, etc. kitchen supplies? Of course, but right now I can’t afford any of that and I don’t have the free time to search for it at thrift stores
Absolutely the best response :)
And that’s how we should treat each other.
Exactly. Thank you.
This is the best response! ❤
"Here I was, trying to make a friend, a lifetime struggle of mine..."
This vulnerable moment in crunchy mom's past is such a gut punch. I love that she uses it as a reflective moment, like a reminder to be kind to the scrunchy moms.
A lifetime struggle of ours
Apparently she was raised by wolves. Anyone with any class knows you always act appreciative of a gift regardless of what it might be or if you actually like it. You can throw it away when you're alone later, but smile and say thank you for every gift. That's not "crunchy", it's classy.
Amen! I’m always looking to add class and tact to my life. A gracious woman retaineth honour.
Exactly! A little gratitude can go a long way.
Being kind is free.
My neighbour gave us wine and cheese as a gift but we don't drink and I'm lactose intolerant. we still thanked her profusely because it was the gesture that meant something not the gift and she really didn't need to give us anything
Take care not to be too profuse in the thanks - you’ll be getting wine and cheese forever more!
Awww ! That was so thoughtful of the neighbors !!! I hate that yall couldn't enjoy it as much as someone who drinks and munches on cheese freely but the thought was there !
That's when you whip out the breastmilk soap
🎉 😂
Lol!!!!!😂
Then she'll get hounded about her diet and if her breastmilk is 'pure' and toxin-free enough.
@@jmas43exactly why I never even entertained the idea of donating my breast milk when I was over producing.
Not crunchy at all, but even when somebody gives me a gift I don't want, I still thank them, take it into the house, sit with it for a week, and then regift it (if I know somebody would like it) or donate it.
This perfectly explains your kind response in videos of someone giving you toxic things. Even though she was rotten, I think the experience made you a better person.
(Or you've always been this aware and sweet natured)
She did you the favor of weeding herself out early on in the "friendship" struggle
Ikr!!! That was the real gift
Making friends really is a lifetime struggle …..
It's so hard especially after high school
It's so hard!
Anybody got tips? 🥲
@Mine Q - take some classes like a pottery making class? Or photography class? Cooking lessons?
Thank you for sharing you're not the only one.
My crunchy mom would just mock and complain about any gift she got that didn’t meet her standards. Gave me a really bad taste in my mouth for crunchiness.
Damn thats sad. My mom is pretty crunchy ig, she has like essential oils and organic foods and such. But still she's very grateful when it comes to gifts.
I can see that. I’m sorry! She could’ve been gracious and then regifted. But crunchy people are not all like that! Come back to the Crunchy Side of the Force! We have gluten free dairy free sugar- nut- cruelty- sulfite- peanut- nonGMO crustacean-free cookies!
Who can afford that though? The crunchy lifestyle is too expensive for most
Same. Also, I catch a lot of shaming for taking medications for chronic illnesses, and that lifestyle looks like it takes a lot of work I don't have energy for with my laundry list of illnesses and injuries.
It always baffles me that my kids have better manners than some adults. I taught them from a young age that if someone gives you something you don’t like or already have, the correct way to respond is “thank you” and then we sort out the details later in private.
I'll never forget my mom pulling me aside to teach me that very lesson after I received a purple swim suit from a friend's mom and asked why it wasn't pink. I think I was 6. I went back and gushed about how pretty the swim suit was for a solid minute. Definitely didn't sound natural, but it was a start 🤣
I remember you sharing the story on a podcast! I’m with you - how do you respond to that?! Mrs. Meyers soap isn’t cheap either. Sigh. Someone is trying. Show a little grace.
As a soap maker, I doubt a verbena olive oil soap was toxic (not sure about the tea towel!). I often think the crunchy’s will make claims about things being toxic, when in reality they are no more toxic than the water we drink, the air we breathe, and the food we eat. 😃
I struggle with making friends, it's been a long time since I feel like I've actually had one. It's rough out there everyone.
🥺🥰
I understand! And then when you’ve found the friends you have to make changes to keep them sometimes. And then sometimes you lose some but in my experience all the friends i lost were for the best because they weren’t ever my friends to begin with and it was a blessing to lose people pretending to row with me but secretly drilling holes in my boat. And the friends I kept were for the best too!
Can all of be friends?!
Move to a small town. I already had lots of friends and wasn't searching for more, met tons of new people within a year
first mistake was going to an essential oils party. cult..
😂😂😂 exactly!
YEEEEEEESSSSSSS! MLM VIBES!
@@ruthm8133 vendor parties are mlm's by definition
I love my EO's, but only buy online. Franensence is a personal favorite!!!
About 8 years ago I was invited to an essential oils party hosted by my best friend. Somehow the topic of my sister's terminal cancer came up. The salesperson had the audacity to try to convince me that these oils would HEAL MY SISTERS CANCER. We're not talking like a stage 1 or even 2 scenario. We're talking stage 4, 15% survival rate with some of the top medical care in the country. But apparently this stay-at- home mom who recently discovered these pretty smelling liquids had a better chance at healing my sister than the doctors at Johns Hopkins. This woman was lucky she had teeth when she left. I've never seen my friend change a topic more fiercely in my life.
Probably mad you didn’t buy the soap from the MLM she was trying to shill
This is the correct answer
Exactly!
“trying to make a friend - an actual life struggle of mine” … are we twins?
Ahh! This makes me so sad! Ingratitude is a miserable trait and gift giving is my love language, so I can totally feel the hurt and embarrassment you must have felt. I wish I could hug that Scrunchy version of you!
This gives a lot of insight into the characters you play. There's the crunchy mom with the toxic personality and then there's you, being crunchy and sweet!
I actually truly do looove linen tea towels, so I would've been thrilled to get one! Lemon verbena soap sounds pretty great too! 👍😊
Yes, you find the thing you like the most out of the gift, and compliment the heck out of it. Someone being kind and giving a gift is a blessing even when you dislike it. She also could have slowly over time showed you her ways, and not judge.
I can totally relate to having difficulty making friends. That response would be devastating! You deserve better, less-toxic friends than she. 💛
I’m actually trying to teach this to my son right now. Just say thank you even if you already have it, don’t like it, wrong size or toxic! He can be very blunt sometimes 😅
Same! I’m trying to teach my kids to always be honest and kind. I had a friend drop off some chocolate for my birthday. I was thanking her and telling her how nice it was of her, when my 7yo son chimes in with ‘mom can’t eat chocolate, it makes the baby cry.’ 🤦♀️
I think this is why the old tradition of not opening gifts after n front of the giver came about. You can't blurt out something insensitive if you're by yourself. Perhaps it is also why we used to write thank you notes. Again, it puts the breaks on being an insensitive blurter.
Oh my, that makes my little ole southern heart skip a beat. If someone thinks enough of you to give you a gift, you will be gracious. You will be kind.
Suitable answers, not in ranking order.
Thank you for thinking about me
Thank you
Oh honey bless your heart you didn’t have to get give me a present (if they are southern, don’t use this)
Isn’t this precious (again not to a southern)
Oh what a pretty color, thank you.
And remember to write a than you note.
If you really don’t want the soap, after using one of the above responses; explain you have sensitive skin or allergic that that fragrance.
Personal I sneeze and my eyes water around lavender, musk or patchouli and have given scented items back or give them to my niece.
Oh thank you so much. You are so precious think of me. I have really sensitive skin and I am afraid t can’t use this soap. Would you like to save it for yourself, give yourself a little treat.
These can be used in combination
Im from the midwest and these answers still apply to midwesterners the bless your heart and aint this the cutest thing said with a slice of doubious tone are not polite! Im sensitive to fragrences after having kids and i politly say thank you for thinking of me but these scents unfortunatly make my head ache as well.
"Well let me just take this toxic gift and my ass out of this party. Not spending the afternoon with you petty harpies." Goes home and has a hot soak in the bath with that toxic soap and some toxic spiced rum. 🔥💀🔥
Wow, I can't imagine someone being so rude! You always say thank you for a gift, even if you don't like it!
I love the look you gave. I hope that “toxic” friend sees this video!
That look at the end 🤣🤣Total speculation here, but I’m wondering if it was an MLM party, like Young Living or Doterra, and the gift she expected/wanted was a purchase.
Either way, you were quite thoughtful bringing her a gift- coming from a mostly silky lady, it sounded like a pretty crunchy present to me!!
Edit: also I just read the description- well put!! Compassion and empathy go such a long way!!
Bruh I'm so glad my mom raised me well, with social etiquette and manners in mind. The amount of times a day I text my mom from my grocery store workplace to say, "thank you for teaching me to knock on a closed public (restroom) door instead of just assuming it's unoccupied" and "thanks for teaching me it's rude to point out things on other people's faces unless it's not something they put there themselves and they can discreetly fix in less than a minute". Add to the list of things to thank her for: understanding that the thoughtfulness of a gift, is the gift itself. "Even if it's not your favorite gift, say thank you because they thought of you." I'm so thankful for my mom.
Your mom is awesome and so are you🎉
I’m allergic to all fragrance. I would still say an enthusiastic thank-you before donating or giving to a friend. It’s the thought that counts!
Bingo. Always show gratitude for gifts, regardless if you like or will ever use it- simply be grateful that someone thought of you, and wanted to give you a nice gift. Once it's yours, you are free to regift, return, or simply toss it if you truly can see no value in it. But never be rude.
Yeah, the only toxic thing there was her attitude. You are incredibly sweet and you remind me a lot of myself. I struggle with making friends, I'm so introverted it's ridiculous.
Your reflection in the description is telling about your character and perspective: full of integrity. It's so good of you to share the need for forgiveness and believing the best about someone, even if they make mistakes.
I'm so happy that things ended up turning out well, especially because I feel like I've been in your shoes more often than once and it always feels so soul-crushing when you do something that you think is kind and the person on the receiving end doesn't react the way you'd expect them to.
I completely feel you on the lifelong struggle of making friends. I constantly over-correct so bounce wildly from oversharing and putting my foot in my mouth to clam up and miss out on friendships because I'm scarred from overstepping while making new friends.
I am frequently envious of people who can effortlessly make friends, but then I remember that my very small group of close-knit friends is worth a million acquaintances. Still makes me want to sink into the ground when someone makes a, "oh this is so toxic"-type comment when I put myself out there. :)
I have struggled similarly too! I finally found my tribe after 30+ years. The “oversharing then clamming up” I’ve lived through that! It gets better. You’re so right about your friends being worth a million acquaintances. Hang on to those friends❤
I’m so sorry that happened to you. That sounds awful, I would have been mortified! Especially after using money I could have spent on my own family to try and be nice to someone. That’s so upsetting 😢
Oh God, I figured the catty crunchy mom skits were somewhat exaggerated for effect but....now I wanna play the "Did a human for real say this to crunchy mom?" Game 😂 😭
The downside of empathy is how hard it has often been won.
I'm so sorry that she hurt you so badly.
You're so lovely, please try to let this go.
It's not YOUR burden to bear, it's hers.
You don't have to bear it just because she won't.
💜
She would be getting that exact gift every year until one of us took our last breath.
I can feel the anxiety oozing thru my screen 😑😣
I frankly find it quite amazing that you don't have tons of friends out there, because you have thousands of us online!💜💐
That crunchy mom was just a grown spoiled brat
I really wanna know if any part of this is real.
Ugh. I think it was a lovely gift. And. A vibration of love and gratitude overrides any toxin any day. ❤
I would have thanked you for the gift, given you a big hug. You thought enough of me to get something even when u didn't have a lot of money! Love your sweet heart.
this is definitely something that actually happened to her- i can hear the pain in her voice its not just a skit 😭😭
I know right? I would love a friend like Queen of crunch. It’s so hard to find crunchy moms. Especially here in Kentucky!
dear crunchy mom,
u dont know me, but were friends ❤️
sincerely,
north east coast crunchy mom 🌊
Awww, this makes me so sad. I watch your videos all the time and I think your fantastic! If you were my neighbor, co-worker, or someone I met at the store, I would love to be your friend.
I love your video creativity and intentional messaging. Warms my heart.
How rude. Especially to a pregnant woman who went out of her way 😢
It's a gift . Unless it's poisonous you accept it and throw it away kater 😂
I love your "description " even more. A longer video adding that in would be perfect ♡
You are so right Emily! I’d say you don’t need a friend who would treat you so disrespectfully!
Set your mind at ease. You did nothing wrong.
You weren't really invited to make friends and socialize this was an in-home sale event.
You would be friends for life If you purchased a premium package of products that helped her get the hostess gift.
We are all going to die of something a little kindness make it easier
“here i am trying to make a friend something i’ve struggled with my whole life” i felt that
You continue to be gracious and kind in the face of vapid insensitivity. You go girl.
Lololol on me, when I realize that I have already commented on this vid.
Love ur work.
PS. I was crunchy when crunchy wasn’t cool.
Seriously. I'm LDS and I have been gifted coffees, teas, alcohols and I just smile and say thank you. Its the thought, people!!!!!
Also LDS and once my dad was given some alcohol, which he received gratefully, and then promptly placed it with his food storage to use for bartering in the apocalypse😂 Waste not, want not!
@@michaelad8686 barter in the apocalypse 😂.thats genius!
Ive been gifted a bottle of alcohol even though I dont drink. I gave it to my boss who does.
I was gifted a bottle of alcohol and i dont drink. Gave It to my boss who used to bartend in college.
I get gifts I won’t use or don’t like sometimes and I always just politely say thank you so much this is so sweet and act excited, and every once in a while when the person who gave it to me is around I’ll take it out or put it on like I do use it and hope they notice and feel good about themselves
God I love a good clapback even if it's 6 years later 🖤
😂😂😂
also if youre mucking with essential oils you cannot call other things toxic and reject it.
Youre handling
Essential oils
Oh this has been surprisingly healing to watch ❤️🧡💛
Seriously. “Thank you” is the ONLY appropriate response to a gift. Ever.
Same, when I get a gift of jewelery, I just accept it, because it is the thought. I cannot wear so many things because I am super allergic to nickel, it just has to have a tiny tiny bit in it and Im blistering.
And the very next move was to cut that “friend” right out of your life, right? Talk about toxic… 😅.
There are no friends like chill friends. They’re the very best friends. 🎉
And then... a *star* was born
Ouch. That's rough. Because of a bad gifting experience in my childhood, I think it may be the reason I struggle with gifting and picking out things for people to this day! I am surprised but happy that that experience didn't put you off crunchiness altogether.
Thank you so much for the lesson on being gracious even when gifted something you have a lot of health concerns about. It is a constant struggle. I'm always coaching my kids on being gracious and reserved with their words so as to not be hurtful about other people's choices.
“A lifetime struggle of mine” Bestie do u want to go therapy
Oh my gosh. How can some people be so dense and ungrateful.
Yes!!! I’m currently scrunchy and I love watching your content. Thank you for being kind to us less crunchy people!
Hahaha! Love it. “Thank you so much!” Scrunchy. Learning so many new words
Meeting people where they are also gives us an opportunity to grow, and that’s always a huge plus.
“It is easy to judge, it is more difficult to understand. Understanding requires compassion, patience, and a willingness to believe that good hearts sometimes choose poor methods. Through judging we separate. Through understanding we grow.”
At that point I would be,if it's not of your liking give it to me, I'll try get you a think you might like more (and proceded to not give anything because she didn't need to be that rude and probably nothing will be enough)
I feel your pain. I have a very close relative will complain if they don't like the gift they receive. If they eat something they don't like that someone else cooks, they complain about that too. They actually complain a lot. Sometimes I don't want to bother giving them anything, but well, if they are a parent, you feel obligated. They now say that they are old enough to say what they want.
Meanwhile, I thank people for gifts that I do like or can't use. Even from the parent. Being kind is free, which is what I have to remind them of frequently.
I loved that look at the end.
I’ve had that happen to me as well.
People just don’t have manners it’s like just say thank you I went out of my way to get you a gift. Whatever you choose to do with your gift is on you.
Some people are just so rude and nasty. When someone shows you who they are believe them you don’t want friends like that anyways, they are just miserable people.
At that rate ,she might as well stop breathing cause its toxic .
Not quite wrong. Sorta right.
I finally found my space....scrunchy. I love it! Also, who needs friends like her! I say that as I sit here and pick nutmeat out of black walnuts that I picked up last fall lol.
You knew that she'd be a horrible friend really fast. That's a plus!
Yeah sounds like she was the truly toxic one. Hate you went through that. But I hope you have better people in your life now. I've fallen in love with your videos. Thanks for sharing with us!❤❤
“ I wasn’t yet crunchy i was more like scrunchy”
The best scrunchy quote of the year 😂
People need to be kinder to those who are new to thier communities. They are still learning.
I’ve graciously and gratefully accepted what I perceived to be some of the worst gifts ever. It’s what decent human beings do.
I got soap at my baby shower I didn't want to use on my baby (scented and had some chemically looking ingredients) but I just said thank you and figured I'd use it for cleaning or something where it wouldn't be in much contact with his skin. Because like.. I didn't even expect to have a baby shower, let alone to get a bunch of gifts!
She's not the kind of person you want as a friend. She's toxic.
I love the way u corrected her instead of yourself lots a people do that to them selfs when it’s really the other person🙏🏻💪✨
It’s so funny it was at an essential oil party. Essential oils can have some uses but they are usually the most toxic part of whatever plant they are coming from. Can be very harmful. So this story was double funny haha
I tend to run into the same kind of people at essential oil parties. More interested in trying to prove to and one up everyone on how "crunchy" they are than being kind. I stopped going years ago due to that, MLM BS, and the loads of misinformation being given just because the company said so and they want to make a buck.
I'll admit that proving that lots of what they said was wrong or sometimes down right dangerous was satisfying.
We are all trying to do the best we can, so be kind.
You are correct. When given a present, even one you don't like, you gracefully say thank you. You can worry about what to do with it later.
I agree with this. I’m trying to live a less wasteful life (would like to be crunchy one day, taking small steps) and a friend of mine knew that I hate STUFF. hate getting things, especially crappy plastic stuffed animals, polyester socks… people tried giving me books at one point but I’m super picky about what I like to read. But I always felt it was important to say “Thank you!” Because people were trying. My best friend, who knew I read really intense books, ended up getting me a package of green fruit teas that came with these cute little tins. It was wrapped in plastic, not perfect, but it was just clearly so thoughtful and I still GENUINELY appreciate how hard she thought and tried to get me something that I would enjoy and use. (Despite the plastic, I’m loving these teas)
“Oh this is actually so toxic” ☹️
I wanna cry this is so sad
I'm really glad the "better response" was for the gift receiver and not the gift giver.