Are you a Sadist or a Masochist - and Why?
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- Опубліковано 5 гру 2023
- Two of the strangest but most powerful concepts in psychology are sadism and masochism. Why do we seem to delight in inflicting suffering or, even more strangely, to take satisfaction in enduring it?
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“Two of the strangest but most powerful aspects of our psychology are drives we refer to respectively as sadism and masochism. By sadism is understood an enjoyment in causing others suffering. And by masochism, an enjoyment in receiving ill-treatment from others. Though commonly associated with sexual scenarios, these drives operate in all areas of life: at the office or in the school yard as much as in the bedroom or the dungeon. Unfortunately, much of what humans do is in the end explicable only with recourse to these two melancholy concepts…”
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Masochist: Hurt me,hurt me!
True sadist: NO.
Lol
Perfect mismatch
You teaseeee!!!! 😂
@@chrismack2677 😁
just reading this hurts me
Why did our brains have to develop such complex survival mechanisms. Life is unbearable.
Trauma.
And yet you have beared and survived 100% of it. Life is tough but we are a little tougher (until death)
The tendency for survival at all costs. It's not very darwinistic to avoid adaptation
Yet you have borne it so far. Hang on in there. ✊🏼💜
Specially such a messed up one
HUGE discalimer that should exist in this video: Just because you have some sort of trauma, doesn't mean you have to be a sadist or a masochist. Just because someone is a s/m , doesn't mean they have trauma. Furthermore, these concepts are nowhere near a diagnosis, or linked to any mental illness.
There’s also emotional masochism! Where you enjoy emotional pain, like toxic relationships or environments.
one question, are you stating the above disclaimer because you've studied psychology better than the school of life, or maybe you are a bdsm enthusiast who cannot stand the idea that their most fun activity has its roots somewhere in some painful past.
@@flamuraliu1684 Either answer is valid because if someone actually likes bdsm or whatever they can attest to the falseness of this video, it's just a bunch of made up nonsense as it's usual for school of life and I know you'll say that it's actually just that they're in denial if they reject this notion but that's just not true, you can't just go around diagnosing people with trauma for having odd behavior
@@beatrizwayne78 our behavior isn't "just because", trust me, this is sort of the essence of all psycho-dynamism. As Gabor Mate mentions in his latest book, the brain is a historical organ, historical in the sense that it serves the purpose to hold on and adapt to everything we've ever gone through.
there are all sorts of researches done on cases of childhood sexual abuse and its aftermath, ranging from all sorts of compulsive sexual behavior, to sadomasochistic tendencies and whatnot. Its so sad to see how far the world has come from the truth. It's none of our own fault as individuals, we're super broken, collectively and we're doing the best we can to maintain the status-quo that clearly isn't serving us for the better.
@@flamuraliu1684 I'm not saying that thing like sadomasochism couldn't possibly be caused by trauma but I don't think such tendencies are enough to get to diagnose people just by that; plus if people enjoy it and are doing it with concent and within a controlled environment where no one is really getting hurt so what? I do agree it's really weird and worrying to a lot of people but it doesn't have to be the result of a great tragedy of something
I would describe kinky SM as something quite different from this everyday sadism and masochism that stems from trauma.
"Once they were told by others that they were a failure, now they ruin their own chances before anyone else has the opportunity to do it for them"
If that ain't me...
That is me as well. Prayers 🙏
Admitting you’re masochistic in a UA-cam comment is perfect, like a zen koan.
They could put this on my birth certificate ngl...
You forgot the third role.
The Onlooker.
I think also if you have no choice but to endure pain as a child you are essentially wired to enjoy pain physiologically. Seems anecdotally that way for me
Do you enjoy it, or are you uncomfortable when you don’t receive it? One is a craving, the other withdrawal.
@@jackthompson6296 maybe a bit of both
@@moralebooster8437 no the truth of this matter is clear i have been there so have most it's never wirred in for you to enjoy it is just the normal for you and so many others if you lesson to the video's solution
Meaning to dive deep and understand where this cruelty and pain came from in the beginning you will then be able to understand it as a misfortune that was in the past and simply cry for it or express your feelings ( as essentially it is a feeling) for it "yourself" you can then break free frome the chains or you could learn to live chained
The choice is always in your hands😊😄
I don't enjoy it, it's just extremely suspicious when pain isn't coming.
They say a sadist is a masochist following the golden rule
What's the golden rule?
@@jjQlLlLqthe rule of golden shower
@@jjQlLlLqi think it's don't do to others what you wouldn't want done to you but here it would be the other way around maybe. I don't think it's true that sadists would want that done to them.
@@jjQlLlLq”Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” But I don’t know how this applies to sadists. 🤷🏽♀️ Sadists do literally the opposite. The Golden Rule was taught to me (and people who learned it) as a guide as to how to behave towards our “fellow man”. A guide to treat others with kindness.
except a sadist is someone who actually enjoys it and just because you inflict pain, doesn't mean you like it. masochist can harm others, but still enjoy being harmed more than that
as a sadist in a consentual bdsm context, this is a video topic I did not expect
So how true is it for you?
@@jjQlLlLq Mostly. In my experience, sadism and masochism are not two different things, but a single sadomasochism. I experienced traumatic physical pain in the form of poor pain managment after a major surgery as a child, so that part is correct. One trauma response to pain is to give a sacrificial part of your psyche over to the pain, to internalize it, to try and sate the beast like a lizard snapping off its own tail to escape a predator. There's a part of me that is a Giver of Pain, now. If I don't give it a chew toy, it turns on me. I can be incredibly cruel to myself. Self harm, addiction, the works. Thats the masochism. But I don't take it out on others. How great then to live in a world full of people who like to be hurt by a sadist! I feel the most alive with my hands around a pretty girl's neck, after a long conversation on limits and safety etc. Thats the sadism. Together, a larger sadomasochistic complex.
The part about needing to mourn what happened to you is very true, but that doesn't make it go away. Giving that part of yourself a healthy, constructive outlet makes it less maladaptive.
I feel like a lot of bdsm has to do with trauma (as an active member myself)
i recognize myself as, and it does make totally sense @@jjQlLlLq
Same and I find this a very strange video. I don't think it applies to sexuality, but I'm not sure what s/m are in different contexts.
ine of your best videos recently. simple and elegant. really feeling like I got a better hold of the topic!
Wow. As usual, this is brilliant, profound, wise, trenchant, deep, concise, and excellent in every way. Thank you, School of Life. I really appreciate your work. : )
I love you School of Life! Thank you for always offering such cool lessons
Had not heard about this guest. Solid takes. Appreciated.
Thank you for offering this profound perspective.
I am neither.
I am a loving person, to myself and to others.
I envy those lucky ones that didn't get abused neither by parents nor their environment growing up.
@@alexxx4434 I don't. Not that I would wish it upon anyone, but the horrible abuse I suffered as a child made me resilient.
I think all things, both good and bad, happen for a reason.
@@Michael-Archonaeus Traumas don't make you necessarily stronger, traumas can make you weaker than a healthy person.
@@alexxx4434 Sure it can, that all depends upon your own personal response to it.
The same pain forced upon an unwilling recipient can cause extreme harm, but if accepted and taken as a challenge to be overcome can build incredible strength.
Humans are capable of overcoming just about anything.
I relate to you....I suffered trauma too. But somehow I turned out to be more aware about myself and others. I care about other people thinking about my suffering. I don't want others to suffer like me and that's why I treat people better. But sometimes it makes me forget my boundaries too. But I've managed myself alot. I hope people finds a way out of it.
Admittedly, when I left a broken and unsafe home, I became a sadist. It hurts me when I’ve felt threatened and realise that I’ve unconsciously preemptively hurt someone I perceive as a potential attacker over things and conversations that are proportionately unimportant. The hurt is shame.
Even tho I'm horrifically horrified by sadist people.....but I feel bad for you. I hope you feel good and calm in your mind. Best wishes for you.....and I pray that you recover from your traumas and anything negative❤
I don't like cruelty. Either dishing it out or receiving it. So, neither.
Both are ways to be in control of events
At least now I think i can understand why eventually I constantly feel useless ❤❤❤. Thanks, I appreciate it so much.
The thing I hate about having feelings is that mine get hurt so easily.
I went through a lot and i have a very rough life since i was a child of 4 and what i have experienced with ppl, family, relatives environment is just unimaginable i have seen the unjust, torture , inequality, instability , abuse , agony .betrayal . yet i am still a good person i lost faith in humanity but i am trying to accept that this is the reality of humans and life.
Proud of you❤️
I hope you always stay like that😊
After all people like you will always be the hope for humanity........stay bessed, stay strong.
Every video makes my mind explode. Such truth bombs
Sadomasochist here and the amount of love or power someone has over me verses how much love or power someone might think they have over me is really the deciding factor.
Context also matters, is it a reaction to being hurt intentionally, accidentally, unknowingly or is it a bedroom activity and what would that person prefer?
What would the end result be based on how much actual power that person has to react to me?
How to stop being masochist? Pls help 😢😢
Oh damn this made me rethink a lot of things
How exactly do you mourn what you have gone through? I've always worried that if I ever did actually find the root of my pain that it would just throw me into a downward spiral that would take ages to recover from. Like, if I started crying, I would just never stop.
It will take alot of crying to become happy. Crying helps getting rid of negative emotions. Used to hide my emotions, contain them. It caused psychogenic pain. Therapist encouraged crying and showing emotions, and it helped.
@livingwikipedia1952
Thank you for taking the time to answer 😊 I have a feeling I might have some psychogenic pain myself. My neck has been painful without full range of motion since my late teens but there's nothing actually "wrong" with it.
Findig the root of your pain is probably going to be an unpleasant process. But if you don’t do it, you’re never going to heal those wounds and you’re never going to be able to make the pain go away and grow stronger. Whenever it comes to stuff that happened when I was I child, I try to think of it as adult-me comforting child-me/past-me. I find it easier to be compassionate and to comfort the child version of me, like damn, I’m sorry child-me had to go all through that😢 In the end, only you know what you’ve gone through and endured, so try to be kind, understanding and compassionate to yourself. And remember, it’s okay to cry. Think about all those things you went through and somehow you made it here, I mean look at you! Now, be the person you needed when you were younger /need, and help yourself heal those wounds ♥️
@@solveigsannes6151 beautifully expressed ..thank you...
@@solveigsannes6151
Just saw this. I appreciate your response, thank you 😊
This doesn't really apply to the sexual context of sadomadochism.
A masochist doesn't only receive pain. They also receive incredible amounts of focused attention, closeness and loving (after)care. It balances out.
And a sadist doesn't only hurt. They invest a lot of energy into planning, practicing, learning, preparing, caring for their submissive, taking on responsibility and making sure their submissive grows and benefits from the relationship.
And the powerdynamic is different too. The sadist might feel in control in the context of the roleplay. But every masochist can immediately stop the sadist with a safeword. It's always the sub who holds the real life power.
While in play it may look like the masochist serves the sadist. But its really the sadist serving the masochist (while trying to make it a win/win for both parties)
Exactly
that is theoreticlly
It's like everyone has a backstory we know nothing about.
Thank you for the video!
♥
The great animations always distract me, so I have to view it several times! Just like we understand walking around with broken bones without treatment is extremely painful. Walking around with emotional psychological trauma/damage also creates more damage! As adults it is our responsibility to take an active role in treatment whatever that journey may be!
Thank you
Let's be clear what the video is referring to. It's about sadomasochists in every aspect of someone's life. Bdsm isn't necessarily Sadomasochisism in the way the video talks about it. BDSM is role play or play pretend for a lot of people. You can very much have a caring partner that is a Sado. BDSM isn't linked to trauma. There may be people who are searching for it because of trauma, but not everyone is. Some of us are just horny.
No.. Bdsm has nothing to do with being horny! It has everything to do with being a victim of trauma.
bdsm is not inherently sexual tho? So it would need to be more then horny. People who look for power exchanges aren't always doing it for the horn if it.
I think the fantasy aspect of bdsm plays a large role. Most participants in bdsm are fully aware that whatever scenario they are in is separate from their “real” life. And because it is separate they can therefore work out tensions (both sexual or otherwise) they have irl in a safe way with no spill over into their real life. Assuming of course they are being safe and have a consenting, responsible partner(s). Real BDSM is about the therapeutic effects of letting go of or obtaining a sense of control.
'BDSM isn't linked to trauma' keep telling yourself that...
@@mohamedatefasal1 Maybe for some but there hasn't been any link discovered from trauma to BDSM.
thank you
Love you Alain
Not everything stems from trauma. Psychoanalysis is not even proven to work better than other methods. It's just popular
Is there some actual study behind this? I can’t find any references… would be nice tho
That's what I want to know. It's a nice theory, for sure, but where's the actual evidence to back it up?
Learned to be a mirror that showed more than they ever asked for. - Masochist who only gets off on putting other Masochist in their place when they try me.
What do you mean?
wtf
Thanks
Damn this one hit deep.
I just learned recently that I'm a masochist, most definitely in the emotional/mental category, quite possibly (probably) in the physical category as well. I thought it was something I was born with, and learning that it came from something is shocking to me. I'm not sure what to do, or what caused it. And because I'm a masochist, I fundamentally don't want to seek help, cause emotional pain brings me joy, so why would I take that away. I only know I should fix it because other people told me so, it's make I learned from media and peers. I'm addicted, and only trying to stop because I'm told to, and doing what I'm told to instead of what I want to once again feed into the high I get from hurting. Hell, even just writing this comment about how bad it is my brain is happy for doing so. I'm really confused, glad I found this video thought. At least I have something to go off of.
School of life do a video on abdl infantilism I love it
I respectfully suggest that the wonderful Alain had got it wrong here.
My (admittedly anecdotal and subjective) experince of sadistic people is that there is no correlation between sexual sadism and sadism generally.
I suspect that they are metaphorically like dolphins and fish. They look the same but actually after not the same thing at all .
My experience of people in the bdsm world is that they are generally lovely - with a few idiots roughly similar to their numbers in the general population.
Bdsm and kink baffle me: why does prettending to be a pet cat or a prisoner turn men and women on ?
There is some evidence to suggest that the very old parts of the brain have fear and love as similar brain regions. And that imagining peril stimulates feelings of love conection and security.
So maybe there is a brain structure reason explaing kinks.
I suspect that is probably it.
While on the surface one might say " oh this person has a kitten fetish because their mother loved their pet cat more than them - or they have a spanking fetish becuse their parents must have been subtly or overtly violent or too judgemental".
That just doesn't ring true.
We know bad people/ murderers exploiting people using the bdsm scene. I suspect this is just tactical ploy that vanila murderers use - rather than a thing in itself.
Also as 10% or more of the population have some kind of wierd sex fetish, inevitably 10 % of the murderers are going to have a fetish too. So that creates a misleading impression that kink fetishist= low level psycopath.
My subjective experience has been that fetish orientated people are often very creative, artistic and a little bit on the spectrum. Often very kind also.
It's as if they don't have any negativity in every day life - so their low brain has to play- act it in benign situations such as spanking.
Some porn is pretty disturbing and it probably does attract psychos. But my experience of the bdsm scene is that it is a potential place for psychos to work under the radar. But mostly it's so lovely creative kind, funny, generous non- traumatised, people..
I don't think he was saying that people who are into sexual S&M are the same people who behave as sadists or masochists in the way they relate to others generally.
I think he just meant that when the words sadism, masochism or sadomasochism are mentioned people tend to think of sex rather than actions of general social behaviour.
You do realise that identifying other's people trauma is a difficult task, especially if people learned to hide or cope with it?
The real sadists I've met are people who are narcissistic psychopaths. There's a whole narrative that trauma turns people into monsters and every monster has a tragic story behind them, and that isn't necessarily true.
I've been researching goth girls from childhood cartoons as I was curious as to why the goth fetish was a thing. Something I figured out was all the cartoons have both a masochist and a sadist female character. Starfire and Raven from Teen Titans, Kim Possible and Shego from Kim Possible, Princess Bubblegum and Marceline from Adventure Time, Candace and Vanessa from Phineas and Ferb, Lindsay and Gwen from Total Drama Island, Mai and Ty Lee from Avatar the Last Airbender. What's fascinating is that the authors all understand the psychology behind attraction. I thought Goths were Sadists to begin with but when I did further research what I learned is that they are actually Sado-masochists. They WISH they were sadists but because they get forcibly emotionally dominated by other sadists they become depressed about it and become masochists. The best example is actually from Avatar the Last Airbender with the three fire nation girls, Ty Lee, Mai and Azula. Ty Lee is a masochist who is submissive toward Azula and worships her voluntarily. Azula is a sadist who is dominant toward Ty Lee AND Mai. So what is Mai? Well Mai is in-between both of them. She wants to dominate Azula which is sadistic but because she is too weak she gets dominated by Azula which makes her masochistic. This is why Goths are so depressed and associated with dark colours. They are expressing their anger and depression in being dominated by the other sadist. In short Ty Lee smiles when Azula orders her, Mai shows no emotion to her face but when she is not looking only shows anger toward her or depression about her when Azula orders her. Ordering = dominance. So in short, in a socially competitive environment the winner becomes a sadistic bully, the loser becomes a masochistic servant and the runner up Goth becomes a grieving, angry and depressed rebel to the Sadistic bully. This literally happens throughout Avatar the Last Airbender between Azula, Mai and Ty Lee.
it feels like all Paul Thomas Anderson's films evolves around this
Yet both of them will only rarely reach what they need to feel alive
Fascinating! I have friends who like to inflict/receive pain… I never realized it is because they have been abused in some way. So sad, nothing sexy about masochism!
I must be a sadist, then. I was the terrified child, now I'm the terrifying adult.
That is so sad(ist)… but seriously, I feel for your hurt inner child. ❤
Thats messed up
That inner child died decades ago.@@kirmcook
couldn't disagree more with the definitional constructs you present here… would love to hear others weigh in on this before i begin pontificating. ;)
For some balance, maybe you need healing or you want to heal other people? and why?
i can never stay focused wile wathcing this videos. I love them but sometimes my own mind plays games... it does not whant tho listen
*both*
Why not?
Wow.
As a masochist… this sounds about right
Why not both?
Are there people who are neither, or is it a spectrum. Not just one or the other clearly defined.
I’m usually a big fan of the school of life, but this video is a bit too one sided for me. People also find healing or empowerment by re-enacting their trauma.
Healing - no. Empowerment - sure.
"It's better to be at the right hand of the devil than in his path"
"If you can't beat them, join them"
I remember dreaming about being tortured when i was 4... I dont even have a trauma, i had a GREAT childhood, idk what wrong with me
Where do you have pluto/scorpio/lilith in your natal chart?
Yes I'm interested from astrological point of view
I can explain how to calculate this things it's not that hard actually
If you aren't against
There is abuse is all militaries that we went to. I don't think it effects everyone in the whole system but in districts of all countries and entertainment complexes, it is there.
Masochism. I don't know if you "Need" those people getting abused but maybe you do to get places.
I will phrase it like this because it is in my mind right now and focused. I did things for my friend because he was my friend and teacher. So trusting him when he was concerned about something like doing something for mercy or to learn I would attempt.
He was my friend at the time.
Somethings I excelled in and was good at while it was difficult for others.
Others things I was poor at. I couldn't do masochism to the level of others as my brain and body revolted to a lot of things. So getting requests to go into a poo bath in NK and get with Poo focused girls there were way above me. I did have friends that took hits for me and I looked up to it. I can't do it.
It was a big stressor thing because others were so much more relaxed and calm about it in the face of it in front of me, I didn't know how to learn it and though it might improve with time there but doubted and feared it.
i used to be a masochist and it’s pretty different from sh. i usually don’t feel the pleasure when i am the one doing it while i do when someone else is doing it
The year is 2023 in the month of December.
I'm too early. Curiosity led me here.
I'm neither a sadist nor a masochist
Chad
I'm neither - is that possible?
As a mature human being. You need to have the ability to self reflect. Otherwise you won’t have long lasting relationships and happiness.
When it comes to sexual relationships you need trust and consent.
I am never able to know truly if someone is a masochist and they can’t know i am a sadist until we have been together for a long time.
I’m both; what does that mean? 🤔
that you are ambivalent, or...should we say - versatile, in switching roles to better fit you (emotional) survival.
"Sadochist" 😊
Welcome to December 2023😊 Masochism and sadism
How to ground a friend?
I feel like this is just one of those explanations that pop in your head and totally make sense, but then you go check, and reality is completely unrelated to the logic you perceived.
Imo the point of sadism and masochism is to incentivise sex. So they're very natural, and not some obscure and backwards defense mechanism that looks more like a bug than a feature.
Let's take cat sex for this.
Cats are social animals, and as all social animals, they are naturally inclined to tolerate each other and cooperate. If a cat surpasses the social codes and limits, it becomes an outcast (and this is why social animals are anxious about their place in society, this is the ultimate nightmare for such an animal)
But now, back to cat sex, it is a very painful deal, and for a SOCIAL animal that cares so much about not hurting peers to not become an outcast, being forced to hurt in order to reproduce is quite an inconvenient situation.
Is this contradiction going to discourage sex and reproduction? In my opinion, yes.
This is where I think sadism and masochism come into play. They are traits that make a useful exception for the social norm "let's not hurt each other". So yes, male cats will WANT to hurt females only in that context, and female cats will want to be hurt only then. Everyone will stay friends during and after.
Sex is saved, society and cooperation are saved.
Then yeah, genes are messy. Feminine and masculine traits get mixed up all the time because they can both be useful in different situations and you as a complete individual end up needing both. The same happens for triggers and contexts, traits originally contextualised in a certain way end up leaking into other contexts because of how useful they can be elsewhere too, they end up getting selected in those new mutated forms.
That's what happened to sadism and masochism, and we'll never exactly figure out all the intricacies of why they manifest. And not only that, but remember that many times they'll also be ultimately just random. So yeah, very hard to pinpoint where these come from when you analyse the specific individual.
What about sadomasochists? 🤔
Funny enough: that's a central theme in 50 shades of Grey trilogy. At least the movies.. the girl helps the guy confronts the reality of bullying, then mourning it (getting freed from the MILF he was a victim of/manipulated by).. he empowers the girl, she finds her source of consented power, in the end they roleplay out of fun, not unconscious necessity.
Is there some "cure" tô it?
Love
İ think it’s so hard question
I’ll say neither
Can anyone tell me if I should start a relationship with a sadistic girl?..because I didn't understand the video 😅
Look up the autobiography Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer 😇
Well I guess I'm a masochist.
Me too
📸
Guys, I keep on fearing that I’m sadistic. I have anxiety and OCD because I’ve done some bad stuff in my past someone please reply
i also have anxiety and ocd you’re not a bad person a bad person wouldn’t realize they’re bad
@@afterstorm777 thank you I kept on researching because I’m just trying to get reassurance and it’s not even working
You were just a kid and you were acting on your autism, not understanding emotional control, now you are an adult, and you will have more understanding and maturity about your emotions
In b4 any safe words.😛
I mean... I enjoy the power trip. There's nothing deep behind it.
Wait but you didn't tell me how?
Can you be neither? I feel like I’m neither
Of course you can. Not everyone has to be a sadist or masochist :)
So how would satan torture masochist
I mean, I laugh at slapstick humor so I think I am a bit of a sadist
ITS PRONOUNCED AS "MASOKIST?!"
0:38 "...or, even more strangely, take satisfaction in enduring it." The narrator is obviously a sadist
< Masochist no need to even watch this video for that answer. I think mine is from childhood abuse to be honest. I have no desire to hurt or harm others, but pain that is not medical or mental is a turn on & enjoyment for me.
I just realized im a masochist
ah yes "corporate" "training"
I'm just another ant in the world full of anthills
Half my class is sadists.. i think im the masochist in my class.. thats not good-
Masochistic doesn't make you a full on Masochist
Baby Boomers: Sadists
Millennials: Masocists
Zoomers: Sadi-Masocists
Sadist here😂
Warum ist das lustig?
well then... go to therapy
Incorrect. It's a massive generalization for the entire group. Not why all people develop this way. Sorry to burst your bubble. I can honestly say I don't enjoy everyone's suffering or think there are only two roles or any of that nonsense. It's a power play. The houses made and the strength shown while people endure is arousing. Sometimes s3xually, other times intellectually, emotionally, etc. I view masochist as some of the most loyal, honorable, and valuable people on the planet and find them as friends, lovers, etc to be the absolute most understanding. They never cease to amaze or astound in their gentleness and desire to prove themselves. So no. Not everyone is a sadist for the same reason nor do they just commit ridiculous acts of cruelty without reason nor are the acts unjust or unfair. It's a mutual fulfillment for those who want to prove themselves and will go to great lengths to do so and a silent cheerleader wanting to gain fulfillment from the achievement. Physical, mental, or emotional suffering to the degree of martyrdom would show loyalty and love beyond the shallow expressions one sees in the world of normal people. The best relationships are when they trust you enough to take things just as far as needed for them to grow and you grow in self discipline in exchange... and in the situations where you need an outlet and you trust them to provide to degree needed for you to overcome whatever you need to.
What is crying going to do?
It is part of a physiological process your mind must experience to move on from trauma and suffering.
Biologically it releases stress hormones.
It gives relief nd then u feel empty. U dont carry shit inside. Quite freeing in the end
It is a symptom of acceptance
Stress release. Tears also hold memories of the painful events and when you cry, they are absorbed into your skin and part of the process of grieving trauma and letting that shit go. It’s a beautiful thing.
I really rate your work but this video explanation is truly simplistic and prejudiced. Disappointed and surprised.
This doesn't go well with those who say bdsm is a psychologically sound and healthy practice
Because it's not.
I'm a masochist :/
Incredibly reductionist and superficial point of view 👎🏻
But remember, this does not apply to everyone, it is assumed that it applies to sadistic or masochistic people. Trauma can be one of the many things triggering this, but can not ever just be the core reason!
I am zero percent of neither.