Episode 243: How to Decenter Men and Romantic Relationships

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 83

  • @StarofSunshine93
    @StarofSunshine93 4 місяці тому +100

    I relate sooooo hard to this! I was dating a guy earlier this year that was basically playing games and putting me on a roller coaster 🎢 of emotions. Thankfully, I did the hard thing and ended it with him back in March. Since then, I’ve gotten into hobbies I’ve always wanted to do, like baking and have been commissioned to bake for a couple of events. I also received a promotion and significant raise this summer. It really is crazy how things changed. De-centering relationships with men to focus on me has been the absolute BEST!

    • @BalancedBlackGirl
      @BalancedBlackGirl  4 місяці тому +2

      I'm sorry that happened with that guy, and love that things have been going so well from you pouring into yourself!

    • @bargainbeauty7529
      @bargainbeauty7529 2 місяці тому

      Did you tell him it's over or just stop answering the phone?

    • @tayanice7880
      @tayanice7880 24 дні тому

      Love this ❤️

  • @noziphokhumalo2963
    @noziphokhumalo2963 4 місяці тому +32

    "Make yourself the SUN" 🌞🌻 I'm going to need youtube to allow us to snap our fingers, a like is simply not enough. What a great message 🧡

  • @experiencealist
    @experiencealist 4 місяці тому +27

    This episode is in 100% alignment with my current phase! The break ups are the breakthroughs to our elevation and desired life. Thank you for this! Definitely here for the solo summer.

  • @NajeemahB
    @NajeemahB 4 місяці тому +16

    I just ended a 5 year relationship, two children and I am finally ready to fully pour into myself fully. I’ve learned sooo many life lessons and giving myself grace after realizing how much I centered this man and getting back to me feels amazing!!!

    • @BalancedBlackGirl
      @BalancedBlackGirl  4 місяці тому +1

      @@NajeemahB sounds like you’re entering an amazing new season - rooting for you!

    • @Oliviaaaalove
      @Oliviaaaalove 2 місяці тому

      Same here girlllll WE GOT THISSSS !! Our kids will be okay & I always remind myself that as long as I am healthy, happy & FREE ! My kids will be okay

  • @mademoiselle_milla
    @mademoiselle_milla 4 місяці тому +7

    Love this so much! Regardless of relationship status, there are archaic expectations of women. Married, single, divorced, whatever, people act as if relationship status the causal factor for behavior instead of treating you like a dynamic being. I'm married and really resent how some people act as if my life is suddenly starting because I'm married. It's very annoying and I've had to tune out the noise instead of responding to every microagression. Thankfully the right partner reminds you that you are the sun and they will complement the vision you have for yourself. Thank you for sharing!

    • @BalancedBlackGirl
      @BalancedBlackGirl  4 місяці тому +2

      @@mademoiselle_milla that is so real! Thank you so much for tuning in 💕

    • @vanessak7069
      @vanessak7069 19 днів тому

      So relatable! Feels like my "only" achievement is my man, not my education, academic success, courage to travel the world solo etc. Its frustrating.

  • @Shaniaunique
    @Shaniaunique 4 місяці тому +29

    OMG this came right on time because I just made the commitment to decenter men

  • @lakeithalacey
    @lakeithalacey 17 днів тому +1

    He is Dreamy but, he’s NOT the SUN , YOU ARE!!!

  • @MindBodySoul333
    @MindBodySoul333 3 місяці тому +7

    Seeing this on a SUNday ( 😉) Great Start For My Week.

  • @akatiki7731
    @akatiki7731 2 місяці тому +3

    This blessed me....................

  • @euniquadeshae
    @euniquadeshae 4 місяці тому +2

    The amount of value you provide is amazing. I always share these with my girlfriends because these are the type of conversations we have. I am so grateful to be able to share these episodes to expand our thought processes as we exit the "rat race" and REALLY tap into self love and discovery. You are doing a GREAT JOB!!

  • @kirsyxi
    @kirsyxi 4 місяці тому +6

    Girl, I’m married so I didn’t even think this episode would apply to me but GIRL, this message is everything 🤎

    • @BalancedBlackGirl
      @BalancedBlackGirl  4 місяці тому +1

      @@kirsyxi thank you so much for watching 🤎 I truly wanted it to have a message for everyone.

  • @kharissalove
    @kharissalove 4 місяці тому +6

    I’m so happy to be back on the UA-cam channel, Les! I’ve fallen a bit behind on the podcast for a couple of months but this is exactly what I needed to hear right now so I’m so excited for what this solo summer will bring you personally and professionally! Appreciate you so dearly queen and I’m so happy to see the continued growth of BBG!!!! Now I’m tuning back into the video to take notes 📝

  • @vanessak7069
    @vanessak7069 19 днів тому

    Girl I love that convo! ❤ needed to hear that!

  • @tiaratyson
    @tiaratyson 4 місяці тому +1

    Honestly stumbled upon this randomly and it couldn’t have come at a more perfect time ❤ this is something I’m working through currently. Thank you for your light !

    • @BalancedBlackGirl
      @BalancedBlackGirl  4 місяці тому

      @@tiaratyson you’re so welcome - thanks for watching!

  • @spit6664
    @spit6664 3 місяці тому +1

    You are very well spoken and gave very good advice. I love your solar system metaphor. I was researching articles on how to decenter men and came across this video. So glad I found your channel, your energy is great!

  • @CindehLou
    @CindehLou 4 місяці тому +3

    I live with my partner of 3 years and I loved this episode!
    You were spot on Les, coming from a very religious household, my mother has ingrained it in me that marriage is the ultimate life moment, that it’s the woman’s job to keep the peace of the home, and that women need to do anything to keep men from cheating…..OOF.
    Without me even trying-these lessons are often my instinct so I’m constantly making sure that I’m not bending over backwards at the sake of my sanity for his happiness 🫶🏽

    • @BalancedBlackGirl
      @BalancedBlackGirl  4 місяці тому +1

      @@CindehLou thank you so much for sharing! Un-learning that messaging can be so challenging, but it sounds like you’re incredibly reflective. Really glad you enjoyed the episode and appreciate you tuning in!

  • @hanaroseofficial
    @hanaroseofficial 4 місяці тому +3

    I loved this perspective so much. I've never really dived into this topic until recently coming across the term - "compulsory heterosexuality" - (thank you Kehlani). And I honestly feel so freed! Because I did not realize how I was clinging to centering men by feeling badly about being single for so long. Like I'm realising now, babe a man is not the be all and end all of your existence and purpose (as society would have you believe!). And I feel so much less heavy, because I'm not worried about "running out of time" now.

  • @theglowfullxperience7895
    @theglowfullxperience7895 2 місяці тому

    Wowzers this was an amazing video❤. You really hit everything on the nail. And I really enjoyed this and found a lot of value in it. I just got out of a long relationship and I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore because I let them become the center of my life. But I know I’m ready to heal and move on with my life. Thank you for your message ❤

  • @PNAMIRACLES
    @PNAMIRACLES 4 місяці тому +4

    I loveee the analogy of the sun 🥹❤️

  • @courtsjournal5608
    @courtsjournal5608 4 місяці тому +1

    I’ve rewatched this epi a few times ( and will probably watch a few more 😂) and this is one of the conversations I didn’t know I needed to hear or have w/myself ❤ thank you for sharing love! Can’t wait to see what becomes of this new era of self 💛

    • @BalancedBlackGirl
      @BalancedBlackGirl  4 місяці тому

      @@courtsjournal5608 so so glad you’re loving the episode! 🤎

  • @rachelr777
    @rachelr777 2 місяці тому

    This episode is GOLDEN! Thanks so much for this 💝

  • @luxelindz3881
    @luxelindz3881 4 місяці тому +4

    This was such gold. Thank you ❤

  • @MandaTheola
    @MandaTheola 3 місяці тому

    I love this so much, your video spoke life into me. Thank you 🙏🏾🩷

  • @anike-ezeuchechukwu2658
    @anike-ezeuchechukwu2658 2 місяці тому

    This is so insightful ❤; thank you

  • @starscreamkin
    @starscreamkin Місяць тому

    :,) Great advice but I want to emphasize my appreciation for your soft spoken and even tone.. I don’t feel like a captive audience. I watch lots of youtube and there’s a common rythym and volume a lot of people have which can feel demanding when one wants more easy listening… Basically you sound inviting and it feels more engaging somehow!

  • @janaeknott7816
    @janaeknott7816 4 місяці тому

    Yep this is really valuable info. Gotta be your own sun, own inspiration, etc. Thank you for this!

    • @BalancedBlackGirl
      @BalancedBlackGirl  4 місяці тому +1

      @@janaeknott7816 yes exactly! Thanks for watching

  • @msajike6680
    @msajike6680 2 місяці тому

    Great message!

  • @softwaretestingwithkeba
    @softwaretestingwithkeba 4 місяці тому

    I absolutely loved and enjoyed this

    • @BalancedBlackGirl
      @BalancedBlackGirl  4 місяці тому

      @@softwaretestingwithkeba glad you enjoyed it! 💕

  • @livw3333
    @livw3333 4 місяці тому +2

    Funny that I kept skipping the episode because I thought since I’m not boy crazy it really wouldn’t apply to me. However, while watching I realize that I unconsciously do some of the things mentioned in this video. Very eye opening!! This was a good video 🫶🏾

  • @renaybyrd
    @renaybyrd 4 місяці тому

    I needed this so much. I love this episode and I needed it!

  • @uhleaseayah
    @uhleaseayah 4 місяці тому

    I needed this ! Thank you ❤

  • @_Gontse
    @_Gontse 4 місяці тому +2

    😭😭 I need this today!!😂
    Can’t wait!!❤️

  • @ivybarnes1198
    @ivybarnes1198 4 місяці тому

    Hey thank you for this episode Les❤

  • @kaybaileytv
    @kaybaileytv 4 місяці тому

    This was right on time for me 😊

  • @mial41
    @mial41 4 місяці тому +1

    Can't wait for this one!

  • @BA20Pearl
    @BA20Pearl 4 місяці тому

    Love this episode!

  • @shanelllawrence5825
    @shanelllawrence5825 4 місяці тому

    Love your content

  • @OwnNothingBeHappy519
    @OwnNothingBeHappy519 Місяць тому

    I completely agree, I think men and women don't need each other anyways. I think people should focus on maximizing the profits of the companies they work for, my bottom line is suffering right now.

  • @Beelcyskitchen
    @Beelcyskitchen 4 місяці тому

    I needed to hear this .

  • @morganhumphrey5587
    @morganhumphrey5587 4 місяці тому

    LOVE YOUR VIDEOS

  • @rachaelmolene
    @rachaelmolene 3 місяці тому

    42:30

  • @PrimRose-wv9yi
    @PrimRose-wv9yi 4 місяці тому +3

    Pretty girl ❤

  • @deezycity6847
    @deezycity6847 Місяць тому

    I appreciate the positivity but please don't put labels on all men. There are plenty of men that will absolutely compromise and sacrifice opportunities. If it is for the right person.

  • @carloscaride9878
    @carloscaride9878 3 місяці тому

    Baby happy nigth for you. Kisses nice. Here in Argentina today Is the end holiday of Farm very lucky