Thanks for your comment Jane. I’m pleased to hear you found this video insightful. It certain,y does sound like it’s very appropriate for your situation. Take care.
I was wondering what the state of acceptance actually looks like and I concluded that it is when I stop generating negative feelings, thoughts, and behaviors concerning my problem. No more avoiding the problem, just look at reality and see the truth. No more anger, fear, shame, worry, guilt, sadness, etc.
No, stay away from people who do you down, or tell you to stay away from people. Fight for good relationships and put boundaries in with people who overstep their mark.
You can’t radically accept if you are in the intense emotions, you have to get out of your emotional mind first then you can practice radical acceptance
I am relate. I’m very sick physically and mentally I’m struggling in a way I never thought I would. It makes me feel inferior and I want to get past this
I use this skill everyday. I get stuck feeling resignation, depression, and bitterness when I accept reality. I have to say I don't feel any closer to whatever constitutes a life worth living.
In my experience radical acceptance ignores and does not work for the following situations: isolation and being the only child of a narcissistic mother who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. I'm not boo hooing and continue with all things self care. If it's🎉 possible to accept without anger or bitterness, someone please let me know.
I’ve been struggling with a situation and was talking with my therapist about the need to accept the situation but also to stop being passive and stop enable the situation. This was the clearest explanation yet of how acceptance doesn’t mean giving up and passivity. Thank you.
Thank you for this video. I've been working through a lot of past trauma alongside a recent autism diagnosis (age 29) and radical acceptance has been something I have struggled to utilise. The affirmation that radical acceptance isn't giving up or an approval of my situation has made it easier to understand and I hope, alongside the willing hands, it'll become a useful tool in my growing arsenal of DBT techniques.
If I don’t accept the present I have no control over my future. I can’t change what happens, so why would I hurt unnecessarily? Sure, I love him, but he doesn’t feel the same way, why would I hurt if I cannot change that? I have no control of it and that is a relief. It’s not my fault.
One I like your videos,, thank you. Two I accept :) radical acceptance as the ... hmm .. how to say it "ground zero" from here find solutions, not hopes. I would like to learn more about Radical Acceptance, strategies, hacks .. just anything that helps living it
After decades of #$-*@! something in my brain just went "Nope. This way of living HAS to change and its up to me to change it!". Its like a lightbulb went off! Im 57 and this happens. Isnt it unusual that my brain just chose instantly that the chaos has go stop? (Although i have been in counseling for several years and working hard.) Only problem now is i feel like my personality has changed a bit, somewhat melancholy, and im not sure at this age what/how to change. Oh boy......😮❤
As a carpenter I have always had to accept reality. You have to shim a crooked slab: level it or the 2nd floor is crooked too. Walls out of plumb need to be fixed. They don’t her you…
I am working on acceptance and focusing on the present moment. However I don't know the difference within myself between "pushing away or bottling up" and "accepting". I try to adopt a "well, this is how things are -shrug-" attitude, but I don't know if that is actually happening or if I am just bottling everything up.
@@LewisPsychology I've been in therapy for 20+ years. I get mixed messages from the world: some say to work on acceptance, others say that we should not settle. No one has the answer(s), it seems. But I am working on accepting life the way it is instead of always wanting something different. I'm not going to have a different life, so I need to stop wishing for it, which causes me stress. Also working on lowering my expectations in the hopes that I will be less disappointed. Sometimes it's difficult to determine what is a reasonable expectation and what is a too-high expectation. Again, no one has the answer(s). -shrug-
The title of Radical Acceptance initially may fuel thought patterns that we are accepting that there is no hope. It can be confusing & off-putting, resulting in some of us wanting to avoid the thearpy. I do acknowledge it helps but I wonder if there could be a better title...
I get that. In case it helps - fighting reality hurts a lot more because we don’t have the power to change from being in a space of denial. Accepting reality is actually within our control and can lead to making more empowering and reality based choices thereby possibly leading to gaining some control. 🙏🏽 “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
Basically I made a really bad mistake 6 years ago. Haunts me everyday and I’m stuck in this battle of trying to reason why I did it ? Made me suicidal and I’ve had 9 trips to A and E this year. If only we could turn back time 😢
I'm not sure if me hating my life is a case for radical acceptance or problem solving. I am not happy with the situation I'm in. Radical acceptance or problem solving.
DBT Radical Acceptance vs. Stoicism (Brief Comparison) Similarities: 1. Acceptance of Reality: Both encourage accepting what cannot be changed to reduce suffering. 2. Emotion Regulation: Focus on managing emotions constructively by avoiding resistance to reality. 3. Present Focus: Both emphasize living in the moment, not dwelling on the past or future. Differences: 1. Context: Radical Acceptance is a DBT skill for emotional healing; Stoicism is a philosophical system for life. 2. Emotion vs. Reason: Radical Acceptance validates emotions; Stoicism prioritizes reason and emotional detachment. 3. Goal: Radical Acceptance reduces distress; Stoicism seeks virtue and wisdom. 4. Control: Radical Acceptance focuses on tolerating distress; Stoicism focuses on acting within one’s control. Example: • Radical Acceptance: “This is painful, but I accept it and will heal.” • Stoicism: “This event is beyond my control; I’ll focus on my response.” Best wishes, Teresa
Very insightful and appropriate in my situation as someone living with CFS/ME. Thank you
Thanks for your comment Jane. I’m pleased to hear you found this video insightful. It certain,y does sound like it’s very appropriate for your situation. Take care.
I was wondering what the state of acceptance actually looks like and I concluded that it is when I stop generating negative feelings, thoughts, and behaviors concerning my problem. No more avoiding the problem, just look at reality and see the truth. No more anger, fear, shame, worry, guilt, sadness, etc.
That’s spot on. Very well said. Best wishes, Teresa.
As someone living with borderline personality, I find this is the hardest skill to try and get right because I feel pain so intensely.
Same for me
Stay away from people.
No, stay away from people who do you down, or tell you to stay away from people. Fight for good relationships and put boundaries in with people who overstep their mark.
If you release your resistace to what is,, and accept the imperfections of current
reality, you will suffer much less🎉
You can’t radically accept if you are in the intense emotions, you have to get out of your emotional mind first then you can practice radical acceptance
Thank you for your clear, efficient, and useful explanation of Radical Acceptance!
Glad it was helpful! Best wishes, Teresa.
I’m in terrible pain because I can’t accept a disorder I’m living with. I want to think differently but it’s so hard. I have thought of giving up.
I am relate. I’m very sick physically and mentally I’m struggling in a way I never thought I would. It makes me feel inferior and I want to get past this
@ thinking of you and hoping we both find our rest and peace.
I use this skill everyday. I get stuck feeling resignation, depression, and bitterness when I accept reality. I have to say I don't feel any closer to whatever constitutes a life worth living.
In my experience radical acceptance ignores and does not work for the following situations: isolation and being the only child of a narcissistic mother who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. I'm not boo hooing and continue with all things self care. If it's🎉 possible to accept without anger or bitterness, someone please let me know.
I’ve been struggling with a situation and was talking with my therapist about the need to accept the situation but also to stop being passive and stop enable the situation. This was the clearest explanation yet of how acceptance doesn’t mean giving up and passivity. Thank you.
Thank you 👍🏻
Thank you for this video. I've been working through a lot of past trauma alongside a recent autism diagnosis (age 29) and radical acceptance has been something I have struggled to utilise. The affirmation that radical acceptance isn't giving up or an approval of my situation has made it easier to understand and I hope, alongside the willing hands, it'll become a useful tool in my growing arsenal of DBT techniques.
Wishing you all the best on your journey, best wishes, Teresa.
This made a lot of sense to me.
That’s great to hear. Best wishes, Teresa.
Thank you. Very informative. Needed this as am going through difficult times...
If I don’t accept the present I have no control over my future. I can’t change what happens, so why would I hurt unnecessarily? Sure, I love him, but he doesn’t feel the same way, why would I hurt if I cannot change that? I have no control of it and that is a relief. It’s not my fault.
I have shared this video to a Facebook group that I have started. It was well accepted and I appreciate your clarity and knowledge.
Excellent!… thank you for such clear, well - organized -and presented- videos
I've got fibromyalgia I have radically accepted it
As currently struggling with Anger and Disappointment, thank you Lewis for the Willing Hand Tips. Greetings from Indonesia. 🖖👍👏
What a great explanation!
Thank you so much. Best wishes, Teresa.
Great video 👍
Thank you ❤❤❤❤❤
Wonderfully explained! Thank you!
Glad it was helpful! Best wishes, Teresa.
Thanks
One I like your videos,, thank you. Two I accept :) radical acceptance as the ... hmm .. how to say it "ground zero" from here find solutions, not hopes. I would like to learn more about Radical Acceptance, strategies, hacks .. just anything that helps living it
After decades of #$-*@! something in my brain just went "Nope. This way of living HAS to change and its up to me to change it!". Its like a lightbulb went off! Im 57 and this happens. Isnt it unusual that my brain just chose instantly that the chaos has go stop? (Although i have been in counseling for several years and working hard.)
Only problem now is i feel like my personality has changed a bit, somewhat melancholy, and im not sure at this age what/how to change.
Oh boy......😮❤
I just turned 59. Seems insurmountable.
Memo: Accept the situation right now exactly how it is
As a carpenter I have always had to accept reality. You have to shim a crooked slab: level it or the 2nd floor is crooked too.
Walls out of plumb need to be fixed. They don’t her you…
I am working on acceptance and focusing on the present moment. However I don't know the difference within myself between "pushing away or bottling up" and "accepting". I try to adopt a "well, this is how things are -shrug-" attitude, but I don't know if that is actually happening or if I am just bottling everything up.
It can be difficult at first but do keep practicing. It may be helpful to work with a psychological therapist. Best wishes, Teresa.
@@LewisPsychology I've been in therapy for 20+ years. I get mixed messages from the world: some say to work on acceptance, others say that we should not settle. No one has the answer(s), it seems. But I am working on accepting life the way it is instead of always wanting something different. I'm not going to have a different life, so I need to stop wishing for it, which causes me stress. Also working on lowering my expectations in the hopes that I will be less disappointed. Sometimes it's difficult to determine what is a reasonable expectation and what is a too-high expectation. Again, no one has the answer(s). -shrug-
Yes. Or if you've just become numb.
Concept explained in a simple and practical way
Thanks for your kind comment.
The title of Radical Acceptance initially may fuel thought patterns that we are accepting that there is no hope. It can be confusing & off-putting, resulting in some of us wanting to avoid the thearpy. I do acknowledge it helps but I wonder if there could be a better title...
I get that. In case it helps - fighting reality hurts a lot more because we don’t have the power to change from being in a space of denial.
Accepting reality is actually within our control and can lead to making more empowering and reality based choices thereby possibly leading to gaining some control. 🙏🏽
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves”
Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
Resistance is not helpful. Acceptance clears a way to improvements.
❤Excellent
Excellent video, thanks ❤
Glad it was helpful! Best wishes, Teresa.
I’m noticing that DBT is very very similar to Gestalt theory.
Memo: fighting against reality can hinder effective problem solving
Memo: if the man in the example didnt accept his situation maybe he wouldnt take care of his body as well etc.
Would this be appropriate for real event ocd ?
Yes. Best wishes, Teresa.
Thanks
Basically I made a really bad mistake 6 years ago. Haunts me everyday and I’m stuck in this battle of trying to reason why I did it ? Made me suicidal and I’ve had 9 trips to A and E this year. If only we could turn back time 😢
🤗
Thank you very much that was helpful 🙏🏻💙💙
That's great to hear, thanks Rania. Best wishes, Teresa.
memo: willing hands posture + half smile
I'm not sure if me hating my life is a case for radical acceptance or problem solving. I am not happy with the situation I'm in. Radical acceptance or problem solving.
You can do both. Accept what you can't change but but come up with a solution to the problem if you can. Just know there are no perfect outcomes.
Sounds a lot like stoicism.
DBT Radical Acceptance vs. Stoicism (Brief Comparison)
Similarities:
1. Acceptance of Reality: Both encourage accepting what cannot be changed to reduce suffering.
2. Emotion Regulation: Focus on managing emotions constructively by avoiding resistance to reality.
3. Present Focus: Both emphasize living in the moment, not dwelling on the past or future.
Differences:
1. Context: Radical Acceptance is a DBT skill for emotional healing; Stoicism is a philosophical system for life.
2. Emotion vs. Reason: Radical Acceptance validates emotions; Stoicism prioritizes reason and emotional detachment.
3. Goal: Radical Acceptance reduces distress; Stoicism seeks virtue and wisdom.
4. Control: Radical Acceptance focuses on tolerating distress; Stoicism focuses on acting within one’s control.
Example:
• Radical Acceptance: “This is painful, but I accept it and will heal.”
• Stoicism: “This event is beyond my control; I’ll focus on my response.”
Best wishes, Teresa