Dan Cummins - My Daughter Is a Sociopath
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- Опубліковано 19 жов 2024
- #DanCummins on why his daughter is scary.
#DanCumminsStandUp from the #JustForLaughs Festival in 2012.
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“You’re my only toy” that line absolutely killed me thats so sinister for a little kid
There are kids like that...
You died?
Me too! I don't have kids, but this reminded me of my niece and nephew.
@@MsJ3ny Gotta check that scalp for the 666
Right after that, I realized which of his children he RESPECTS more ... 😏
Little girls who are the exact opposite of bubbly are my kindred spirits. Unenthused. Unimpressed. Dry humor straight out the womb. It’s amazing 😂
Wednesday Adams energy.
They're horrible to raise though. My daughter is like that. Also documenting in case of matricide
@Deerheart exactly! Those girls are the worst.
This was hilarious and scary, can only imagine the kind of mind games a child plays with him. I've never really liked the thought of kids, and this isn't helping 😂
This had me laughing so damn hard. Little kids are BRUTAL.
1:20 for me and my daughter it was I'm not a princess, I'm the supervillain. I'm so proud of her. 😆
She sounds amazing.
If she learns how to harness that energy, learn who to be friends with, Monroe could grow up to be a very powerful person.
Hahaha that's what I think of a lot of people. Especially the "Karens" or the gossips of the world... if they used that energy for good... it'd bring down the patriarchy. Women would rule the world. Lmao
Usually with kids, the higher the intelligence the greater possibility for snark 😂
I felt this so hard. My daughter is just like that. Meanwhile I count my lucky stars for a son like mine.
That second kid DOES NOT CARE! They give zero effs. This was hilarious. 🤣🤣🤣
You know he's a good dad because Monroe is now 14 and Dan is still alive. This guy is true comedy.
This is the kind of dark comedy that the world needs more of!
No this is soft af. If you want to hear great dark stuff listen Anthony Jeselnik. This is nothing.
@@vanyakapetanovic4018 Jeselnik is the King of Dark Comedy, no question!
Check out Frankie Boyle if you like dark comedy. “Micheal Jackson’s Children’s Hospital” is a pretty funny one to start with
@@djeezuskryste2098 Oh okay, thanks for the lead. I'll have to check it out.
I'm with you on this, it's dark comedy but in a nice way, and this routine about his psycho daughter is hilarious and very well thought out 😂😂🙄
I couldn't relate more. Two grown boys... so sweet and so easy to raise. So loving. And then... I have a daughter. She's 16 & at least a 'socio'. Lol. It's not funny... but I HAVE to laugh about it. I'll spare the details... but it's disturbing stuff. I dreamt of having a girl forever and all I can say is 'careful what you wish for...' 😅 lol.
I feel you on this.!!! Ohhh I've got a wild one on my hands.
😁
Dan Cummins is brilliant! Love his greeting card bit too LOL
I wanna hear more stories bout the scary gangster girl lmao
Some kids are sociopaths, that's normal
That is some good original material. The fact that you didn't make any comedic/derogatory reference towards your X wife makes it all the more believable. Well done. I hope you survive.
"I hope you survive" LMAO
My son, who is older is the sweetest kid, his younger sister, on the other hand...I see her giggling maniacally as she leaves a wake of destruction. ...yeah...she's mine...and I adore her!
I completely believe this! My little sister is such a sociopath and a narcissist. She is only 5 and you can tell.
This was hilarious b/c it is 100% most all lil girls.I have to keep my Demon locked up but when I was little,whoo wee! It was on the loose!..For real! Lol
Not in my family. All the little girls in my family are loving and caring. Probably genetics. My friend's daughter is high maintenance, but she is sweet inside, she just likes things her own way. All my kids are adults now, and they are still the same. My daughter is so much nicer than I am, she is like her daddy. I am sure his daughter will change down the road, hopefully not get worse LOL.
@@51Saffron it’s hard to be objective when it’s your own family.Everyone thinks the children,etc,hang the Moon
This is my youngest child. She scares me a little I won’t lie.
Love the "I'll be your huckleberry" line.
My daughter is exactly like this but she's now 7 years old and these days we can both laugh at the dark humor. Laughed me straight in the face when I got angry at her at age 4.
Having a sociopathic kid is actually terrifying not joking they are the devil spawn who get worse as they get older
... Maybe there was a reason why my family called me Wednesday Addams as a child... I was a lot like the little girl as a kid 🤣
I know two kids like that. The boy is so sweet and his sister, I would not want to fall asleep around her.
I think every parent has raised or is raising a child like that!! He just described my youngest but in female form!! He's lucky I let him live to be 26 lol
Yep I have four daughters. I often wondered what I did to deserve this curse.
And they have BOYS!
The nerve of them. One was such a Boss I was afraid of her. Snarky right out of the womb.
Audience did not appreciate this guy. He was very funny.
“You better be because your personality is shit.” 😭😂💯
Your my only toy....that's not a little girl that is the joker 🤣🤣🤣💀🦇
Nice. Gonna look for more of his stuff.
Literally Joker from The Dark Knight
His daughter is like Stewie from Family guy. He has his own personal Stewie🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lol I was the same way with my toys and punishments 😂
My daughter put herself in the corner the same way, but I had to figure out what she did wrong.
good shit 🤣🤣
Excellent set.
Love your podcast, scared to death!
This is my youngest girl. So spot on!
This child is everywhere. 😬
Your daughter reminds me of my son... He's not okay and he's 16. Maybe start therapy now
An Ex peeper who's now a creeper who will always be a fan of him and his comedy. super funny every time.
It's giving 🌠Wednesday Adams🌠
It's never too late to forfeit custody. Might be worth it to pay more in child support. Js.
I know this child.
If his daughter is anything close to what he is reporting then that means some kind of professional needs to be involved -- Having a daughter be okay with punching her brother in the face is no joke. My sister slammed my head in a door because she didn't want me to tell what she was doing -- I was 3 and my sister was 6 and I had to be hospitalized and suffered some brain injury. This is not a funny situation.
Wuow... That is sociopathic. Sorry about your plight. What happened? I mean, how has your relationship with her developed? How has she turned out?
Yeah that’s sad hope you are okay now
I love raising my sociopath. 1 out of 3, sorry world.
His daughter sounds like a BOSS to me 😂
Omg! Just like my younger sister.
This was soooo funny, but I'm scared of his little girl.
GOLD
Lol my last name is Cummins. This guy seriously looks like a family member too.
Sorry but that's Rosemary's baby you're raising
No tats in 2012? Who gets the sleeve in their mid 30s/early 40s?
Your a dad to a villan
......congrats villan father lol.
I have a niece like that. Both her parents are very nice and easy going; but she is just a mean kid.
I love him
I Love Monroe! Supervillain lol omg so awesome!!
Same.
His daughter sounds like a human Annabelle...
Funny skit but You need to take her to a therapist this is how it starts lol
his daughter should audition for an Harley Quinn's role in the nearest future😂🎃
By the time we're 5 our personalities are set...we just get more mature...
Not to sound like a lil shit but boy were my parents lucky to have me 😂 If I ever got in trouble I would wordlessly do favors for them to try and get on their good side again
She sounds like Louise from Bob's Burgers
Stop treating your children like you are their friend. You’re their parent, they need to understand, obey and value you. If they do not, they won’t be kind and respectful to anyone they think of less than you in the real world. You want your children being as respectful the dollar tree cashier as they are to you. Anything less, you’re not being a parent, you’re being a friend to a child.
And a sh*t "friend", at that.
Stop treating this as if he's asking for your parenting advice or that he has shared remotely enough context for us to situate what is actually going on for anybody he references TO SET UP A JOKE.
@@JinYou fax like hows someone commenting “parental advice” and poor advice at that on comedy channel that’s purpose is to make u laugh
My grandson thinks that he has that power....until he met me.
You will never get over this problem.
I'm very afraid.
😶 My daughter is like this but all the evil words just spill from her eyes and you know exactly what she's thinking. At 6 I took everything out of her room and left only the bed and dresser. It stayed in the garage for 3 months without a single word from her. I finally just gave it back because 💁🏼♀️ she clearly did not care. 🤣🤣🤣
😆 Is you daughter very intelligent? When I was young my Mom tried to punish with me with talking away my things and I would just amuse myself with other things. When I was little I told her I was unpunishable 🤣 My mom learned she couldn't treat me like other kids. She had to explain to me logically why what I did wasn't right and how it didn't serve me in the long run. If I felt like her logic was sounds I would change my behavior.
@@happygolucky9004 yes she's intelligent but more importantly she's a Leo. It's in her DNA to not give me the satisfaction 🤣
For a second I thought.... "Wait is he talking about my daughter?"......
Oh, no it's just all kids are evil! I am the darkness! Lol jk
How old is this? He looks so different and young
Funny guy!!
I like Monroe without even meeting her!! She'll be an awesome judge....throw the book at them!
Monroe is my daughter 😂
You already knew that.
Jesus, this is my daughter.
Dude, be careful. This entire skit is on your ex wife’s spreadsheet for the lawyer!
😂😂😂 Dang, sad but probably true.
I refuse to please others at the expense of my emotional well being. Even if it means saying "no" to people who are used to hearing 'yes'
Best way to be .
Love 5his.
Let's take another chance.
Can you imagine when Monroe gets older and she watches this…that would hurt
for some reason after watching this i dont think monroe’s gonna care at all
She'll be like, "I saw what you said on UA-cam. You're gonna pay for that. I hope you enjoy the old folks home I put you in."
Haha... she's daughter is something
Has anyone checked in on this guy lately? I'm concerned 😅
This seems like a rerun
Did his ex possess his daughter just to break him down post-breakup? Damn.
official royal channel is niagara falls souvenir shack
I hope his daughter doesn't see his stand-up as a child and take it personally. 😞
Have a satan i mean daughter of my own .never again will I suffer baby jail .years later here comes grandson ..just recently got back out of jail.not my daughters kid my step son has a boy .the devil thinks he can play games with me .
Audience sucked, his jokes were hilarious 😂😂😂
I have a daughter like this, she fing AWsOME... president someday
This is when i enjoyed his comedy. Before he started talking politics.
So many ruined half their fan base because they decided to start giving us their political opinions.
This is really old because his kids are in college
he should learn from his daughter and act more like her
I’d give her up for adoption😬
i think monroe has a high iq
My grandson thinks he can get away with shit because grandpas at home .little does he know I don't care what he thinks I will go through my husband to get his little ass your not getting away with shit in my house like bro you think I'm afraid of your grandfather haha you are mistaken little boy .
Wow a dad that looks for only malicious intent in the daughter that is less obedient than the son he applies favoritism.
Glad to see that the comedy career is really taking off while your family system hits rock bottom. And you can’t see the correlation because strangers in a room laughed at it so I must be virtuous right?
Ummm possibly he is embellishing things a bit for the sake of comedy???? Cuz ya know, that’s what comics do!
I stipped watching. no wonder you are single
She's very intelligent so she weighs the pros and cons of the punishment she's going to get I need to come and tell you I know I broke the rules I'm ready for my punishment and that just leaves me speechless like you don't care about the punishment you say the punishment is OK to endure Long as you get to do what you wanted to do???? I don’t trust you child. Sounds like a damn bank robber. Lol 😂. Lord help me please. AMEN&&AMEN.
Welcome to the daughter torture. I have a girl she is twisted like me .
She must be a redhead!