The Afghanistan Donkey Story ft. Veteran With A Sign & Fat Electrician | Unsubscribe Podcast Clips
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- Опубліковано 15 жов 2024
- Watch the full podcast here: • War Stories & Communis...
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“There’s no way we’re teaching these guys how to vote.”
💀
ABSOLUTELY almost killed me😂😂😂😂
Absolutely almost ended me😂😂😂
I hurt myself laughing so hard. like I pulled a muscle in my back when Donut asked who's gonna choke hold it first.
I was high as giraffe nuts. I almost threw up laughing.
@@Spartan_Jackali was high as senator socks
Ok the 'This my worst birthday ever." Was actually pro-level comedic timing in how that story is told.
The entire story is delivered in such a comical way, dude got bars
i was literally wondering *“okay when the fuck is the punchline”* and then it hit
That’s the worst version of pin the tail on the donkey I’ve heard
Thank you
“Do you remember when you turned 21?”
- as a matter of fact I do…🤣
If this was 2008, I was 4 miles away in the battalion COC running the airspace overhead when this happened. The radio traffic was insane, and I’m pretty sure most of the battalion staff wet themselves laughing.
If it wasn’t 2008…. Well, there were lots of donkeys in Garmsir.
I was in the city with LAR Plt. Small world indeed.
Usually they bugger their animals at a cliff’s edge. So the animal pushes back 😂
Was a few months shy of the Garmsir deployment. but i dont think i heard the end of it. "Pack for 7 days, we wont be there long." "extended to 21 days then going back to base" 6 months later "were going home boys"🤣
@@nightkil13r “7-10 days. Pack light." Four months later…
The boys and I got extremely good at bartering, scrounging, and-ahem-strategically redeploying assets. Don’t get me started on the casino, though.
I heard about this when I was in Iraq in 2008.
"we definitely aren't teaching these guys to vote"... friggin' hilarious
so yeah, as soon as he said 2 dudes with a donkey... i knew where it was going.
I instantly started having bloodhound gang begin to play in my head.
Sadly the same type of stuff happened in Iraq also
💀
@@Kain8719love... the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket...
@@zachhoefs9543 Lol.
You're forgetting the bleach. Both the kind for the floor, and the high test clear alcohol to wipe it from the hard drive. What they don't tell you, even if you go blackout for 3 full days it will still resurface 8 years later when you see a kid riding a donkey in a petting zoo.
I want Nic to talk history with Shane too; that would be the greatest episode ever!
Would literally b the longest podcast in history
@@clabobambamand I’ll watch it all. I accept your challenge
@@clabobambam you say that like it's a bad thing.
I hope it was a female donkey, otherwise that would be weird. I’m sorry I couldn’t help but leave this comment.
Shane is a far left liberal, pay better attention. He says it himself. He also states he believes no one should own firearms.
"He's just slamming a$$ and smackin a$$..." That's hilarious
"this is the worst birthday of my life!"
I'm dying!
Imagine how that donkey felt.
he's gonna remember it thats for sure.
If there was ever a "clip" to be taken from a session and made into its own video, THIS is the perfect one 😂
Let’s do it
'There's no way we're teaching these guys to vote!' 😂🤣🤣🤣
Maybe they were expressing their opinions of the parties. What did they do to the elephant?
A final note to the story, the poor (turns out male donkey) was saved by a rescue group out of Tijuana Mexico
Ha ha ha fuck man
I swear if he was painted to be a zebra.
So while he’s plowing women at donkey shows do you think he’s fantasizing about getting his revenge on those 2 guys?
Nooooo
@@Butter_Warrior99 what’s the reference? Donkey show? 😅
I was already laughing when i heard "worst birthday ever" i was on the floor dying... to the point im struggling to breathe and my abs are killing me, i recovered and began to stand only to hear "we're not teaching these people how to vote" i returned to the floor.
It didn’t work
I'm in high school, and ill sometimes listen to podcasts in class, i could barely keep it together and my friends were looking at me funny bc i was tryna hold in a laugh
@@CorePathwayBitberger…a beer my dad raved about. He was stationed there before being sent to England.
I turned 21 stateside fortunately. I was still on R&R. I knew this bro was gonna say that the two Afghani bros ended up fucking that donkey. They do the same shit with sheep in Iraq.
Fat E: “If I knew you were going to ruin Shrek for me I wouldn’t have come”
- They did. 😂😂 💀
Just two good friends in the middle of the road with a donkey.
" because they're still really good friends " was fucking hilarious
Real good friends
The chokehold lol
Donkey-length apart cause they're not gay.
@@victorwagner2423 blursed
Anytime I take my kids to the petting zoo we are staying away from the donkeys lmao don't need to come across one with PTSD lol
😂 Or one that turns his behind towards you!
Post Taliban Sodomy Disorder.
Like Eric Cartman teaching the pony to bite weiners...
“Hey; wanna play lift the tail on the donkey?”
Nah, I’m good 😂
Wow now I've heard one Afghanistan story that had a happy ending.
Not for the donkey.
................................. that's enough internet today.
Not for the donkey.
Two happy endings, in fact.
Not for the donkey
Worst part is, you know this wasn't the only instance of this happening over there.
It did see quite common
You know people fuck farm animals in America too right? 😂😂😂 it’s crazy
In Iraq the locals that came onto our FOB would sometimes ask us questions during their work breaks. And them constantly asking us if we FEEKI FEEKI each other. At first we were like FEEKI FEEKI? What are they are that on about? Then it dawned on us they were asking if we screwed each other. Then after we said hell no. They always said "Women are for babies, Men are for fun". Dude we were never bringing democracy to those people.
@@Soulessdeedsmu friend told me a similar story. I thought he was full of shit. Damn.
Dang @Soulessdeeds you just brought back a memory of someone saying that part about men are for fun verbatim
Now we know why Eyore was always so depressed.
That just brings a whole new meaning to the term "plow animal"
“No, no Ahmed, the ANIMAL does the plowing”
- but have you seen his cawk? That would hurt, father.
“THE FIELD, Ahmed, the field!”
Underrated comment😂
Laughed so hard I cried...that's hilarious. Not gonna lie...I kinda feel bad for the donkey. Lol
same bro, same!
“Can we at least shoot the donkey” 🤣
Never thought I would know Eeyore's origin story...
Buddy noooooooooo😢😂😂
Damnit beat me to it.
This should be the top best voted comment dude... Wowww
No wonder he’s so sad…
"Thanks for noticing me"
Update we weren’t able to teach to them to vote.
“They established dominance, they own us on some level.”
I felt that. I feel like they own all of us on some level just by us hearing this story. This was the most disgusting, entertaining, horrific, hilarious story I’ve heard on UA-cam. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard at something that turned my stomach like that.
agreed
Didn't anyone think that could have been a distraction to move your attention from somewhere else?
😂 I wonder if they had to volunteer for a 💩 job or what? 😅 I'm back in the saddle again! 😂
It’s so much worse than a car crash, how could you possibly look away?!
I wouldn't doubt it.
Normally I'd quote the old adage about not attributing to conspiracy that which can be attributed to stupidity and luck - but you do have a point @bnaivar
Well it worked
Yes…….distraction………..that’s what we were doing out there
The internet has unlocked a whole new boss level of war storytelling. This shit makes WWII vets blush.
War is hell
Nah, I'm pretty sure the old time vets had some really gnarly stories, too. 🤣
@@engmed4400I remember reading or hearing a memoir from either french indo china (former SS guy who joined the F.F.L) or Korea (Army infantryman encounter with F.F.L) and I distinctly remember a lady of the night and a banana with a dude basically body slamming her and the banana went flying. Im stretching my memory here but either side of that coin involved the french foreign legion as being absolute wild cards.
@@jacksonthompson7099 I don't doubt it. War makes people do some really off the wall shit.
They played pin the tail on the donkey, one pinned it, the other tailed it.
Eeyore was never the same
Two guys one donkey was something nobody wanted and we still got it anyways
I’m howling with laughter and my entire office is looking at me like I’m insane.
Worth it
I’m at work and I just inhaled a piece of my food from laughing so hard. 😂😭
😂
Idk why I’m traumatizing myself by watching this again but I love you guys so much it’s worth it ❤️😂
Dude pulled out a literal weapon of ass destruction lmfao
Hearing this I thought he was about to tell a story I had from a buddy but it was vastly different so here’s another donkey story
Similar situation, in Garam they told everybody not going down a certain road, since there was going to be dangerous materials, convoys and other things happening on the road
Pretty certain this might be the same road as in his story. But regardless
My buddy was on a patrol down this road in a vehicle and a girl fresh from the states was driving in
They were hauling as much ass as those lowest bidder vehicles could go, but when she rounds this turn, there’s a lady pulling a donkey along side her
The driver swerved to not hit the lady but demolished this donkey
I don’t mean that lightly; she absolutely cooks this thing, even through the noise of the humvee trying not to vibrate itself apart, you could still hear the bones break against the ram bar
It bounces off the front of the truck, and basically disappears into the brush off the side of the road
The lady on the road looks absolutely horrified and the driver not knowing what to do; took off back to base
The front of the vehicle was smattered with blood, fur, and dented to shit from the impact so she washes it and takes it to the vehicle depot
my buddy thought it would be funny to tell the depot’s engineer (who he was friends with with) about what happened, so the guys in the garage repaired it but welded on a couple pieces of rebar to the ram bar, and shoved on two of those foam hulk fists to the posts. They then sprayed the words “donkey punch” onto the side of the vehicle and issued it back to the driver
She was brand new to everyone, but by the end of the night basically everyone on base knew what she did
For the rest of her tour they never let her live it down
The image of a bunch of grunts with guns watching this whole thing go down saying “what the fuck do we do?” Has me dying
I'm a roofer in Florida. We got a temp of 152 on a metal roof in August. I called to have another laborer sent out to clean up the shit I didn't want to touch. He was wearing regular tennis shoes. All it took was 45 minutes for his feet to get so hot to liquify the glue in the sole of his shoe and the two pieces slipped apart. You have to really get used to hating life and firmly believe you deserve the worst to deal with it everyday.
The donkey was blinking morae code “shoot me”
😂 Is that a donkey show? 🤣 I can't stop laughing!
Clerks II reference?
Where's the sexy stud?
Like Dave Chappelle talking about trans pvssy - I’m not strong enough to look away…🤷🏼♂️
@@kjteitel Hahaha Kinky Kelly 🤣😂
Had an similar experience in Paktika Provence. Saw a dude railing a donkey on the thermal, two days later on short patrol through the village see a donkey with two red hand prints(the men in the village dyed their beards red) on its hind exactly where you'd think they'd be. I almost pissed myself laughing while walking dismounted through the village. lol
Dismounted. Key word here 🤣
'His obviously really good friend'-perfect
I was at work listening to the whole podcast and I almost fell over laughing at this part 🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
Two military aged males in donkey walking in Afghanistan.😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅, I couldn’t stop laughing at this story. See The Fat Election reaction was the best
the PTSD on his face retelling the story 😅
I’ve been there before. Once you see a human f*** livestock you never really recover from that experience.
Therapist: tell me about what happened
Dude tells story
Therapist: fvck, now I’m traumatized
Had a very similar experience in Iraq while in an overwatch position. Only it was night and we were using NVG's and thermals. It is a train wreck you don't want to see it but you can't not watch and you have to share the horror with your teammates 😂
Donkey? Goat? What was it that they were slamming?
@@troybaxter Donkey 🤣
@@thomasdark9763 smh.
Nick Irving aka The Reaper tells a story about a special Thursday night he saw. Apparently it’s a tradition in that part of the world.
@@waggtech4883 It is some where thing that God is not watching on a Thursday cause reasons.
You know he's a legit veteran because he uses "fucking" as a transitional word.
Sloppy Donkey Seconds needs to be a T Shirt
The way FE just drops his forehead to his mic at the end...
I NEEDED THAT.
No, shit, I was having a terrible fucking day. But that made me laugh so hard beer came out my nose.
Thank you.
Carry on.
I have never laughed so hard in my entire life!
This guy's poor kids: "What did you do in the war, dad?"
As one of the local guard guys I had to work with overseas used to say. "Jiggy jiggy donkey double double good." So between that guy and the time the blimp had a camera focused on someone doing something like that I knew what was coming.
I remember seeing a statistic years ago that said that a certain percentage of rural raised males lose their virginity with the farm animals. I was disgusted by how high the number was.
I'm a rural raised male and that shit disgusts me, too. Statistically, at least one person I know but probably more are VERY likely to have fucked an animal.
Maybe they had ugly sisters 🤷🏼♂️
Do you remember the scene in Airplane when Mrs Over gets out of bed with the horse???
“There’s juice in the fridge”
The horse: …tf just happened
Poor donkey probably had its own private crying games moment..
Now I got shrek and donkeys voices in my head fn. Lol
Are we there yet?
That’ll do, donkey. That’ll do
Maybe they were sending a message to democrats.
It be harder to fuck an elephant. Plus I’m pretty sure Dumbo would kill you after.
They didn't get that message
I don’t think bestiality is going to send the message to Democrats you think it will
Best comment. Apparently Jojo was listening to that message because he gave them $80B in weapons.
When I saw this there was 666 comments 😅
I laughed waaaaay too hard sitting in my tent rn almost died..... thanks a lot guys 😂😂😂
That is so bad🫏! The worst birthday of his life🤣! 71 years young, a Navy WAVE Vietnam Era and I thought I'd heard it all! Unbelievable 🤭! Subscribed
I could have gone the rest of my life without this story LOL
Met a few JLENS operators that had similar stories, but at much higher resolution.
Eli's damned "hoof" hands🤔😆
From the brcc zonkey to this poor ass kills me every damned time🤣🤣
Never change my dude 😎
Eli has a hoof story he needs to tell on the podcast but I don't think he ever will
“There’s no way we’re teaching these guys how to vote”
2:12 Let me fix that for you: “No $h!ť, there I was. There were two military aged males and a donkey…you can’t make this $h!ť up…”
No you can’t.
That was the best material they put out yet .. can we have more stories like this please 😂😂😂
I know a guy who was a gunner and he told me a story about him riding up top at night. They were rolling dark and passed a village. When they did he looked over to see a dude screwing a goat then he just turned to mist
Truly did not expect THAT! I literally peed a little on that one. In my mind i heard Monty Python "Wots all this then?!"
"this is the worst birthday ever" - got me laughing my "a" off
Two dudes walk up the road with a donkey. Thought it was a joke. I really wish it was.
By the title I thought I knew where this story was going...and yep. Thank you for the story and the laughs.
Subscribed. Anything the Fat Electrician is involved in, you know your gonna laugh. 👍
I've heard a similar story from special forces guys before. I believe it
Iraq, 2005. Getting ready to head out on mission and enter the ECP hooch. Marines were in charge that night and I walk in to a bunch of laughing and "Ohhhhhhh, dude!" and "WTF am I watching" etc. Automatically I knew it couldn't be good yet I was curious. Well, the Marine in charge (Eyes watering from laughing) looks at me and says "Staff Sergeant you need to see this" ohhh shit, here we go. They bring over this laptop and hit the play button. Apparently one of their friends had taken vid through nightvision of a dude banging a donkey but the best part was the commentary on the video. The part I distinctly remember is every time dude would thrust in the guy doing the color commentary would say "Bam". Bam bam bam bam (something said) bam bam bam bam. I walked out of that hooch lmao trying to compose myself before getting back to the convoy. All I could think that night was "bam bam bam bam". lol
😂 the guy at the back starts yelling “ THIS IS MY SWAMP!” 😂
They should have called PETA.
Too funny.
The ONE time everyone was on PETA’s side.
the strangest part of this story is how this isn't the first or seccond or third time i've heard this story.
His impersonation on Nick at the end there was priceless! I hope he does a segment about weird stories like this from the battlefield.
same same .. different but same... OIF 3 fob normandy ... farmer in a field through an LRAS in a concrete tower lol...calling that up to the TOC was fun lol
My brother was there with you! He was telling me this story and I couldn't hardly believe it. Thanks for confirming, now I owe him an apology.
This is worse then 'Bagget the Bull Banger'. Early 1960's West Germany, a farmer came out to find an American GI banging his cow. The farmer actually got paid damages from the US Army because he said his cow was traumatized.
Please tell me more about this. My old man was a 20 year vet in both the Marines and the Army from 68-77, 80-91
Now just imagine the stories we can't tell..😂😂😂😂 goodness that was hilarious
5:48 "And then he stops and *comes* to an end"
That HAD to be intentional.
Shane and TFE talking history is something I didn’t realize I needed and I need it N O W
Oh God after hearing this story you have to tell Shane the Donkey story is the reason he’s there
This gives “Shrek is Love. Shrek is Life.” a whole new meaning.
😂 😂😂 This is what this podcast was made for! Also, is "2 guys 1 donkey" the afghan version?
I haven't laughed THAT HARD in at least a month! Thank you for that!
They need to get Eddie Murphy to do a voice over for this.😂😂😂
“You’re telling me the entire time I’ve known you I’ve never heard the donkey story and the one time you tell me to be on the podcast is the time you possibly ruin Shrek for me forever? If you had told me that I wouldn’t have come”
“They did.”
God damnit nick you went walked into that one head first…….
I'm pretty sure there was a night vision video going around at one time on UA-cam of this exact story.
Not all vets get PTSD from combat...
Both facts.
My nickname was Eeyore. I feel attacked again. That poor donkey😢😢 my brother!!!
What’s really crazy about this story is a co-worker of mine that was an Iraq war vet told me a similar story and he actually had video of the incident! F____ing crazy! That vet just died this year from cancer, God rest his soul! 😢
(4:15) Oh God no, I already know. 💀
I died laughing , so did everyone at my job on lunch break because I played it out loud for the whole room
Please please do whatever you need to… get Shane on this show
Try being in Yuma AZ on the flightline in the summer. It regularly hits 150
I was stationed in North Carolina but had a deployment to Djibouti. Even growing up on the gulf coast in Florida didn't prepare me for that. We were only like 1/2-3/4 of a mile from the Gulf of Aden and 600 miles north of the equator. How a place is so fucking dry and humid at the same time baffles me. I was there over the entire summer and on day shift and I don't think I'll ever experience a more miserable heat in my life. During the mornings the wind would come in from the water and make it all muggy sweaty and swampassy, then later in the day the wind would flip around and you'd have hot ass dry air coming from the desert. Felt like when you open an oven that's been running for a while, hot blast right to the face.
@@Fadaar Yeppers that sure sounds like 29 Stumps & Yuma to me
I thought 2 girls 1 cup was bad, but Jesus 😅
This is the Afghani version.
Omfg, that story... first ever podcast I've listened to where I'm in tears laughing. The commentary at the end just more and more, aw shit....That poor, poor animal.
"Theres no way were teaching these guys to vote" had me on the floor stugglin to breathe with tears n snot down my face 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Donkey hears Sarah McLachlan singing "In the arms of the I̷̪͈̖̗̟͎͎͑̓̔̂̐͌̈͒̄͒̄͐̓̉͜͝͠͝R̶̛̼̤͑̏̾̈́͆̌̉̓͌̏̑̀̕Â̶̛̹͚̼̜͖̳̞͋̿́͑͌́͌̚͝Q̴̻̦̦̗̿̏İ̷̢̨̧̹̳̪̙͈̗̠̙̲̜͖̹̚"
Great story no wonder couldn’t help thank you openly laugh
"today on fat files" with the voice impression of TFE was damn good
Overweight Electron Guy and Gillis talking history while Vet w/ sign and Gary Owens do running commentary would be awesome.
I watch this like 2-3x a week and I die laughing everytime. Myself and a few co workers that are army veterans laugh at this while everyone else is horrified
“If I knew you were gonna ruin Shrek for me I never woulda come.”