Can You Drag General Tullius to Windhelm?
Вставка
- Опубліковано 19 вер 2024
- Join The Laughing Crew for £1 by becoming a UA-cam Member or by jumping on our Patreon! 💙
The continued misadventures of Captain Fannybones and the Laughing Crew!
【UA-cam MEMBERS】 / @thelaughingsimon
【PATREON】 / thelaughingsimon
【DISCORD】 / discord
【TWITCH】 / thelaughingsimon
#skyrim #elderscrolls #thelaughingsimon
At this point I might be inclined to side with the bloody dragons...
[independent option mods have joined the chat]
I saw your dragging Ulfric to Solitude and saw this had no views at the time I joined. I knew I HAD to see this masterpiece - you are great!
I mean who wouldn't want to go around ruling the world legitimately shouting at people XD
Drag Alduin back to the Blades, make him apologize
Cant be a civil war if there's no people to fight each other.
Next Video : Can You Drag Alduin To Helgen to say sorry for destroying the town
Damn, beat me to it
Although I was thinking about dragging him to Paarthurnax
rub his nose in it like a dog
@@freemindstuff6016 I would be curious as to how that would work considering how Parth isn't automatically at the top of the mountain until the actual quest to meet him and you would need the clear skies shout and the only way Alduin would spawn is in very specific points
Oh, now THAT I'd LOVE to see. Dragging powerful, full-grown warrior men across the continent is hysterical as is... surely it would be at least ten times better with a world-eating dragon!
There’s nobody left to apologize to tho.
Welp at least Tullius and Ulfric can agree on one thing. Remain calm and compliant when dragged around by the crazy Scotsman.
Yeah.
Drag both Delphine and Esbern to the throat of the world so they can apologize to Paarthurnax
Then shout them off.
Why Apologise paarthunax helped alduin kill innocent people he deserves death
perfection actually
Apologize for what? For wanting to eradicate that overgrown lizard? I always side with the blades and "deal" with Paarthurnax. I don't need him or the graybeards anyway, i can just find the words of power myself. They are good for nothing else than revealing locations and being stealth backstab targets...
@@anttiruuskanen7126
Well said paarthunax lovers make me laugh he is a dragon you kill dragons throughout the game yet they like this one the blades are way cooler
accidentally wanders into the lovers tent with general tullius
trys to force feed him cake
Truly the greatest love story of the century
What can I say, I'm a romantic.
Still a better love story than Twilight
Drag Astrid to Aventus' house so he can ask her why they didn't fulfil his contract to kill Grelod.
Yesss
Best suggestion so far
Yes!!!
Drag Avengus to Grelod
Take Aventus back to the orphanage
Accidentally dragging General Tullius into the Lovers' Tent is peak comedy
tulliussy
9:23
@@EnderGoku9001 no.
@@hazeltree7738 "ohhhh yes! ohhhh yes~" -Cicero
"U can never outsmart me" procedes to get outsmarted
:(
And so the story continues: Another morning, another day of work. Ever since the fiasco with seeing Ulfric being dragged around by a foreigner, nothing has been quite the same. By now you've checked with the priests that no, no madness had taken you and no, mixing mead with cheese does not cause hallucinogenic effects.
While collecting firewood, you suddenly hear it.
Talking.
Constant talking, coming from somewhere overhill. Whoever they are, it seems they're scolding someone.
...
You know this accent.
You know THIS accent.
And like an accursed sunrise the Foreigner emerges from beyond the hill holding general Tullius by his head, dragging yet another political figure on another maddend errand.
They pass you by, not even realising your existence.
The world has gone mad.
Amazing comment mate. Honestly quite lore friendly, just having us (the viewers) be a random person chopping wood while a wee Scottish guy just drags people across Skyrim by their arses is amazing.
I can imagine the mental decline of that poor villager! 🤣
Loving this 😂
Can you imagine being just one of the normal townsfolk watching the LDB, a powerful demigod and slayer of dragons, dragging a grown-ass man who happens to be the general of the Imperial Army to Windhelm like a mom that has to to drag her child because he doesn't want to go to the dentist
20:11
Kid: "Mooom, I just saw someone dragging General Tullius through our village by the neck! He tried to force him to kiss a chicken!"
Mom: "Hush child, don't go around telling stories."
Dad: *barges in* "You are never going to belive what I just saw! :D "
I like to think the reason General Tullias was ignored when they got to Ulfric is because the two of them made a deal. Tullias knew he would be next to be pulled around so he and Ulfric decided to set a trap. The guards outside would still attack so nothing seemed suspicious, but once inside Tullias could go free and you would be surrounded.
They tricked me the dirty buggers!!
@@TheLaughingSimon so you are saying General Tulius tricked you twice?
yoooo this makes this video so much better 😂 then its possible all the jarls have now heard
Damn this scot can make a one way conversation while kidnapping a general seem interesting. 10 out of 10, will listen to while playing skyrim again.
I’m glad you gave Tullius as thorough a talking to as you did Ulfric.
I am anything if not fair.
Tullius and Ulfric are like fighting children only more violent
This is the series that we didn't know we needed.
After the Ulfric- video at least I knew I need this series! 🤣
There’s so many possibilities with this kind of video:
Dragging Astrid to the Penitus Oculatus in Dragon Bridge
Dragging Lord Harkon to Fort Dawnguard
Dragging Esbern to the Thalmor Embassy
Dragging Sinding to Jorrvaskr
Dragging Isran to Castle Harkon
Dragging Heimskr to the Thalmor Embassy
Dragging Mercer Frey through the Twilight Sepulcher
There’s no shortage of material for this series
Dragging Harkon to fort dawnguard would take so long bro 😂 that’s like crossing the entirety of skyrim!
@@Roehdawg yeah if the earth's really round as they clever scientists claim its faster to go opposite direction
And the grand finale:
Dragging Alduin through all of the holds to apologize for trying to eat the world.
I love how he knows Elder Scrolls lore to such an extent that he can make insults and comedic points that work perfectly in universe
Are you trying to unify Skyrim by making both sides hate you?
Ah, the Titus Mede method of doing things, lol
I love your rp ability... literally scolding them the entire way😂🤣
"Thigh high socks and a skirt mate! I'm telling you it's the warriors way!"
"You're just a man in a dress" - "Yes, and I wear it like a real man!"
He was handling Tulius like a cat that was eating garbage 😭😭😭
🤣
I've been waiting for this to come out. Dunno why seeing important NPCs in a video game get literally dragged by their arse to the other end of the country is so funny but every video so far has had me floored 😆
You're clearly not the diplomat we deserve, but definitely the one we need.
"you can't outsmart me Tullius."
Tullius: "decouples from reality."
Imagin beeing some Skeletons chilling your bones on a campfire and a Scott passes by and talks smack while holding a General😂
Wait a minute why is the Scottish guy the weird one in this scenario!?
@@TheLaughingSimon well how many scottish guys you know in skyrim😂
@@solybossjeck5477 Brynjolf. And you could argue that Sheogorath counts, but he A) isn't unique to Skyrim, B) his accent sounds more Irish than Scottish sometimes and C) he's the weird one, madness is his whole thing
@@solybossjeck5477 I know at least one scottish skeleton. And said scottish skeleton's ship was even anchored by Solitude on the very same day the general did his journey.
The problem here is neither Tullius nor Ulfric will have an actual conversation in either's turf. You need to drag them both to High Hrothgar.
I just had a mental image of simon dragging one in each hand trying to keep them from aggroing each other for a half hour
When he starts kissing the general out of sheer joy that it's almost over, I felt that same joy. Skyrim, the land of endless possibilities
Your accent just makes it a 100 times funnier. And it is plenty funny to begin with.
Next you've gotta drag Delphine to Parthurnax. Maybe if they met they could set aside their differences.
It seems the gourmet can't make it all the way to solitude for some reason. Why not try helping him out?
Yesss !! So creative!
Can you drag my cats to the vet for me next?
You do one video dragging someone around, and now it's the only thing people want 😂
To clear up Delphine’s hatred of Parthanax, drag her to the Throat of the World so she can learn why he is the best
Teach her a valuable lesson about racism and how two wrongs don't make anything right.
@@ejedwards988 And teaching her that anyone can change themselves after much hard work and determination.
I love how he gets done saying he won't be outsmarted then tullias pulled a pro gamer move and faded from existence
"Excuse me lieutenant, just gonna barrow Tulius for a bit. Its his vacation time."
"Oh, you're gonna take him to the beach!"
" . . . . . "
" . . . your taking him to the beach, right...."
In my defense I did take him to the beach.
This was THE MOST enjoyable experience I have ever had.
I bet Tullius only went on this trip because he believes this is how they solve conflict
The mental image of Tulius just chalking his kidnapping up as just a Nord thing is hilarious
@@athmos6891 Tullius: So Ulfric, you mean to say the Dragonborn dragging me by the neck is not tradition?
@@CreamyVanilla-69 HAHAHAHAHAH HE'S A BIT CONFUSED BUT HE'S GOT THE SPIRIT
@@CreamyVanilla-69 and Ulfric would absolutely do nothing to confess that same thing has happened to him prior! 🤣
@@wolfgangtampier6975 Ulfric would absolutely claim it was his idea. After all, as high king of Skyrim he would have to go to Solitude eventually.
I mean, he already went there and yelled a man to pieces.
Skyrim's biggest concern isn't the war or dragons, it's a Scotsman gripping people by the scruff of their neck and dragging them all the way across the province
First Ulfric and now Tullius. Who's next on "Adventures with Simon"?
Ragdoll physics on VR are beautiful. Wonder how well the Skyrim Space Program works?
For those who don't know, there's a bug that can happen where a giant slams it's club down on an enemy, it has a chance to send them into the stratosphere. At first, Bathesda patched it. Then the fandom got mad and the patch was replaced in favor of keeping the bug, but making it so it won't happen every time.
When I do the Imperial half of the Civil War line, I stay a werewolf. There's a pamphlet you can find that tells how to identify and slay werewolves. It's my subtle FU and I enjoy imagining what would happen if my character just suddenly transformed at the victory ceremony where she's hailed as a hero. I imagine a lot of shock, surprise, and fear while she's just smug and happy as hell about it
"Thigh high socks and a skirt, mate, I'm tellin' ya it's the warrior's way!" is a line that will make me wake up laughing in the middle of the night tonight. Thank you, thank you for this.
Next you gotta drag the leader of the Dawnguard to castle volkihar or vice versa😂
This, yes. That is like the whole length of Skyrim
That's so far 😭
Thing is can you even swim to the castle? Especially while dragging an npc? I figured the boat by the shore was the only way to access the castle island and same with leaving it
@@josephstalin2606 you can swim to the castle surprisingly easily, ive done it before out of curiosity. You can also go to Fort Dawnguard before level 10, although it is completely empty
Ulfric once again proves to be the better man, he even spared you and cleared up the misunderstanding.
Better man? U know what he did in markarth right? Lmao
DID HE REALLY THOUGH?
@@TheLaughingSimon the bear of markarth. he proudly committed acts of genocide unprovoked on civilians
So who's next? Harkon? If nothing else I'd be curious to see how he handles the "distractions" along the way.
To be fair to the Imperials, they basically just lost an entire world war to the Thalmor.
Considering that the Empire was founded by Talos however, and that the royal line was predominantly Dragonborn by descent, it's a deep hypocrisy to ban the worship of Talos. But not entirely a voluntary one.
Next, Aventus Aretino needs to go back to Honorhall Orphanage.
@kitschycritter He fully deserves it for performing that messed up ritual.
@kitschycritter After killing her obviously.
@kitschycritter Well with a bit of modding, you could make Aventus hostile to Grelod, so the whole journey is about standing up for yourself.
@kitschycritter nah Aventus needs to learn how to deal with his own issues and life conflicts, builds character. Only a milk drinker hires an assassin in their stead, real warriors suplex their abusers into Oblivion.
@kitschycritter Born as a paraplegic in soviet Hungary, institutionalized for 3 years until I was 7 in a place where they did "physical therapy" like making you walk a five inch wide bench propped up 4 feet in the air, with nowhere to put your crutches for balance. If you refused to do one of the exercises they literally threatened you that they'd toss you in a furnace.
And that's only the institutionalized abuse part of my upbringing, I won't mention my alcoholic father, or anything unrelated to physical abuse (like how some of my loved ones were murdered, died of cancer, were raped, etc.).
So yea, that was a miss...
Ulfric: silent resigned stare, a bit annoyed he wasn't allowed to stop at the pub on his way to solitude, end up starting a fight because he doesn't want to apologyse.
General: tryed to talk and disapear his way out of it, get pie faced and dragged in front of Talos on his way to windhelm, end up weaseling his way out at the last second.
The should be the vanila experience.
The fact that it all ended with Ulfric shouting everyone down and then arresting you is the most realistic part of all.
Simon and geneal tulius sitting in a tree, k I s s I n g, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a storm cloak bound and gagged in a carriage
Tremendous
6:26 "Thigh high socks and a skirt, it's the warriors way" best description ever
I don't think Tullius would spit on Talos anyway. Talos of Atmora founded the Empire in the first place. Even if Tullius doesn't worship him, he'd probably still respect the man he was.
... Though Talos was a bit of a dick to Barenziah, so I won't forgive him for that.
So that's one of the reason why people discovering the ES series with Morrowind seem to have so much scorn for the Empire...that explains a bit. 🤔
@@PrimoDraconis: You ever read any of the in-game books? Find the series titled "The Real Barenziah" in any of the games. It is... very informative.
And the whole Barenziah affair is a separate matter to the Numidium deal he made with the Tribunal.
Point being, the people of Morrowind have every reason to hate the Empire. They're basically Enemy #2 after the Altmer... and the coveted role of Enemy #3 now goes to the Argonians... but that is another matter.
@@SotiCoto I read those in Oblivion, once, in 2011 : taking an other look on the whole bibliography now will not harm. 🤓
Do the Nightingale questline, then read the second book written by Gallus.
If elf women can only concieve up to four children, and Barenziah's three younger children are accounted for...Then the first was NOT sired by Talos, and it was NOT aborted!
It was sired by the actual "Nightingale" (who was btw NOT the villain like in "The Real Barenziah"), and then abandoned. The baby grew up and had a daughter, Karliah.
@SotiCoto A single in-game book that hadn't been published exposed "The Real Barenziah" as bs meant to make Barenziah more likable because she messed up royally and likely wanted the PR. Especially if you take into account the medical lore of elf women only being known to bear up to four children, tops.
Ulfric dragged to Solitude: Charges into battle and fights to the bitter end like a true Nord.
Tullius dragged to Winterhold: runs away and abandons his allay while no one is looking.
I full on guffawed when he cocked his leg up like he was getting a pelvic exam at the ob/gyn. 🤣
7:25 so I take it "Can you drag the Thalmor ambassador out of Skyrim?" is coming next?
I just finished watching the Ulfric video and now I see this... it's the most hilarious follow-up I could have imagined! Dragging Ulfric to Solitude doesn't work out? Fine, we'll just drag Tullius to Windhelm instead! Surely this will work out better. Surely nothing will go wrong here at all.
This channel is a true hidden gem
Yay! Another Simon video!
I used to prefer swimming everywhere in Morrowind and Oblivion, for the record. It was a far easier way to get about. Not quite so easy in Skyrim since the rivers aren't very big there.
I was just looking up details about the Planck mod too, and apparently the incompatibility between that and Maximum Carnage has been fixed.
I wonder if theres a way to pair this with the telekinesis spell? You could literally bounce the npc behind you to the ends of the earth:) probably not but it's a fun thought
Drag Harkon to Castle Dawngaurd
I'm loving your "Dragon him round" series LOL.
I really hope you make this into a series and drag more npcs around. Delphine to the throat of the world to apologize to Paarthurnax or Astrid to Aventus' house has my vote. (Or Maven Black-Briar, but I don't know where to drag her, beside to an giant camp to get sent into space because I dislike her immensely)
Oh no! I thought I laughed too hard at the Ulfric one, but this killed me! Thank you for the laugh!
You’re freaking comedy my man! I can’t get enough of this stuff 😂😂
It's not about the destination, it's about the journey... because the destination is certain catastrophe - for Talos' sake, FOCUS ON THE JOURNEY!
That's so hilarious how these Videos always end in complete and utter Chaos! Please keep them coming, I'm loving it! 🤣
after you’ve started this short series i’ve been binge watching your videos and you’re easily one of my favorite content creators
🙏💙
Subscribed for the accent and commentary! So great!
There's something viscerally beautiful about watching a jolly Scottish man drag around a Skyrim NPC
THE WAY I WAS JUST WATCHING STORMCLOAK AND THEN I FINISHED AND GOT THE NOTIFICATION FOR THIS
Easily my new favorite channel. Can’t wait to see what the future has in store for this guy. Curious to know who he’s going to drag across Skyrim next.. 🤔
I just found this channel, the accent makes this 100 times better
The long awaited sequel
Tullius: "Legate, you let some random guy with a funny accent drag me out of Castle Dour, and Solitude!"
Legate Rikkie: "Sir, I determined that the guy with the funny accent wasn't a threat."
Tullius: "Legate, HE DRAGGED ME OUT OF THE CITY! HOW WAS HE NOT A THREAT?"
Legate Rikkie: Sir he didn't attack anyone."
Tullius: "You're fired."
Divine Tier List:
1: Talos
2: Akatosh
3: Dibella
4: Hermaus Mora
>1: Shiggy Sheogorath
I think it'd be kinda funny if you were to drag M'aiq the Liar around, but I don't have a destination in mind...
Now i just want you to drag an angry wolf across Skyrim. Reintroduce the population to farther areas to get better genetic diversity. Maybe even take it off Skyrim?
Skyrim is for the wolves!
Love your channel, and especially your commentary, mate! Hope to see your channel grow because you deserve way more subs :)
0:28 the teacher when you don't do your home work
Children these days! They don't want to go on "Road Trips" they just want to kill bandits and fight dragons. I went on a road trip once I was walking on the road and then I fell. Maybe that's why the general is so non-compliant with going with you.
The general looks like he could be Michael Rosen's great grand-father. I can't believe no one has made a Michael Rosen mod yet for Skyrim. The dialogue would be hilarious!
I guess the two skellies were the dead lovers.She died in a shipwreck and he died waiting for her.That looked like a Nordic batttleaxe which is a Solstheim weapon and very ouchy if you are hit by one.
1:12 "You dirty Thalmor-shaggin' bastard" I almost choked on my coffee LMFAOOOOO 💀💀💀
They didn't tell them about the truce. it was a ploy to corner the scott.
"I've played Skyrim for 11 years and it's still full of surprises." That's what makes Skyrim such a great game. No matter how long you've been playing it, or how many times you've played it, there are always new and interesting things to be discovered. I'll always have a soft spot for Skyrim shenanigans.
Well now ya gotta take Jarl Balgruuf somewhere
I don't know why, but the crazy scottish guy trying to pull a levitating arrow out of beside General Tullius' head killed me
“They conquered us because they care” lmaoooo
Drag a dragon around i dare you
Tullius "swimmin" arms flappin about had me cryin😆😆😆
“Thigh high socks and a skirt, mate, I’m telling you it’s the warriors way” 😂 Listen, if I heard bagpipes growing closer, *anything* that came through the fog would be terrifying
Dragging Isran to Castle Volkihar would be a good one. That guy has too much hate in his heart.
The part where you drag him through the water is most hilarious.
I like to think that he wasn't attacked in the Palace of Kings because he brought General Tullius into it, but because this happened after he dragged Ulfric to Solitude and Ulfric was still a little salty about it.
"It's impossible to outsmart me" "what the hell? He outsmarted me, the dirty bastard"
Dragging Cicero back to the dark brotherhood to talk things out like an adult.
I actually tested if I could drag his cart with the nightmother in it (or the nightmother herself) but I wasn't able to grab either :(
18:26 "Don't you dare try and 'leg it' back to your 'legate!' I'm telling you a JOKE!"
Dragging Tullius back to Cyrodiil
Skyrim for the Nords!
Proof that Guard Simon and Captain Fannybones are running around in the same timeline of Tamriel.
I am so glad I don't get ads but also I don't get a break from the cackling-
10:47 "DON'T SHOW YOUR BITS TO THE HORKER, GENERAL TULLIUS!" 🤣
“Thigh high socks and a skirt, mate. I tell yah, it’s the warrior’s way.” You right!
It's a crime the views on this video are so low, this is an amazing serie. Hope you do more of these