If you are struggling with any of the issues mentioned in this video, there are helpful resources in the resources doc in the description of this video (also you are loved and not alone 💜)
@cruelworldhappymind you do such an amazing job on your videos. I love them. Since you did Demi, maybe you could do other stars like this. I would love to see your full dive on Michael Jackson. Keep up the amazing work!!!
@ cruelworldhappymind As a survivor and a mom I really appreciate what you wrote here! Any kind of abu$e is not the fault of the person experiencing it and they need to know that and knowing that even strangers or internet acquaintances care and send love and strength to them is so powerful. 💕
The similarities in stories between Demi, Alyson Stoner, Jennette McCurdy, Amanda Bynes, and so many others just shows that this is a much bigger issue than we realize
The similarities are that they're all rich as fuck. I have the same issues and struggles in life but I'm not rich, like many people haha, so it's a little hard to have too much sympathy
@@WookieWarriorz You are just a shit perso. Its very very hard listening to your story when you minimise everybody elses trauma like you are the biggest victim. Do better
@@WookieWarriorz They got little money thru Disney babe. Yeah they are good not poor but they got thst fame thru being children who were manipulated and traumatized. If you have no sympathy there then idk what to tell you
I’m still shocked at the fact that like 4 different people have come out about shit they went through as child actors and nobody has done anything about it. This is insane
@@kelseylandon1224gross what no they don’t???? Children don’t have whole companies extort them for money, control every second of their life, and force them into adulthood. If that was your childhood then something is wrong
I have a hard time liking Demi due to her actions, but I do feel that my heart has softened towards her knowing the horrible trauma she’s gone through. No one deserves that. I hope she keeps on the path toward healing and happiness.
I honestly think it’s weird that they cancel her for something like that. Yet they let Kanye run around and say insensitive things and he’s everybody’s savior. He’s kinda cancelled now but why wait so long?
I also have a difficult time with her after the things I've seen and heard recently.. She's honestly currently contributing to the No personal responsibility and personal victimization culture we have going on right now. (not speaking to real victims. But the, everyone needs to cater to me. Because I have issues, blame everyone but myself Bs) I can't handle all that, and wish she wasn't part of it.
@@natashasullivan4559 I see what you’re saying. She has mentioned that she is what she is and she’s not apologizing for it, which is better than gaslighting the general public lol. It also makes me love her more because you don’t see that type of attitude anymore in public figures
The fact that Disney doesn’t have measures in place to prevent these consequences is maddening. Disney is basically a mill for child actors and there’s never some kind of safety net for them.
My oldest son was almost a part of that mill. A traffic jam and missed audition was perhaps our saving grace. Otherwise my son might have become a 'Disney darling' and might have gone through some stuff that we now know Disney does to their young stars.
@@firstnamesurname2482 Money doesn't actually buy happiness though. Not long term anyway. And the child that actually got that role has sadly passed away from an illness, which could have possibly been made more dangerous from the intense pressure Disney puts on these young stars. Not to mention, both mine and my son's lives would have been drastically different in other non-monetary ways had we ended up in Hollywood, and that might not have been a good thing.
@@voodooprincess11 Money does bring happiness, like it or not Again, it's better to cry inside your Mercedes than worn down shoebox house Yeah, drastically different in what way? Bunch of cameras showed up in your face?
I grew up with this era of Disney and loved Demi's music and everything she starred in. I'm in my late 20s now and I was gobsmacked when you said that everything I remembered her doing happened in the span of *two years*?? That's so insane and heartbreaking to hear a literal child being stretched so thin. It's no wonder they had such a bad mental break, how could any adult in her life be shocked
Its so sad to learn that the people that were your idols growing up were living in absolute misery. At the time I was well aware that they had to live by very strict rules but no way would I ever have guessed they were exploited the whole time. Even more heartbreaking that they gave millions of kids so much happiness while being denied theirs.
@@Mascaraismybestfriend i say kpop because i knew trainees back when i lived in Seoul it's horrific yet these hollywood stars act like they have it bad
Somehow, Wilmer Valderrama pops up in several stories of young female stars who were very vulnerable. Mandy Moore (who again landed in the cycle of abuse in her later marriage to Ryan Adams), Lindsay Lohan and Demi Lovato all dated this man when they were minors or barely 18. To quote Demi 'I feel like that says it all'. All the women mentioned have struggled in their personal lives as well as in the industry, while the men keep thriving and see little to no consequences.
I’m not sure Mandy Moore would agree that says it all, though. She’s publicly put Ryan Adams on blast while having nothing but good things to say about Will as lately as just a few years ago. I’d be very interested in any allegations of abusive of manipulative behavior, but short of that, I can’t agree that it “says everything”.
seems like it happened before camp rock and it seems to be happening during her adulthood because these men seek her innocence or what is left of it :(((((
It's been popular since before she was even a teenager, just not quite to the extent that it is now, where people wear it as fashion accessories. It was still very profitable though.
@@clarrisamariee4745 i dont remember many people speaking about bipolar disorders or their personal struggles as much as she did but specifically about mental health she even went to the government so...
She picked on a small business enough to ruin them and has a bad attitude. And is crying. From a mansion and millions of dollars. And access to medical care and therapists we only dream of. Next!
@@thegayestgoth She was wrong for that but the business got a lot of publicity and customers from that drama. I’m just giving her credit where it’s due, she’s not a perfect person. nobody is. Demi spoke at the Democratic National Convention about mental health needing to be available to everyone who cannot afford it, recognizing she can because of her financial status.
I can’t believe her team thought that that amount of control would help. Addiction/controlling behaviour STEMS from something. Why can’t people understand that. You can’t deal with this shit on the surface level. “Just stop drinking.” Right. Trying to stop an addict/alcoholic in this way is gonna make them feel more a freak, alienated, isolated and misunderstood.
I think her old team and manager had no idea how to handle that situation in regards to addiction as the rest of their clients didn’t have as much problems as Demi - so they handled it the best they could. Mind you they also saved her life twice prior to getting sober for the first time and we don’t know what would’ve happened had they allowed her to go off the rails after she quit the Jonas Brothers/Camp rock 2 tour. Could you say most of it was in poor taste? Yes. Some things they did right, like taking their phone, drug-testing her team, sending her to rehab and giving her a sober companion even for three years - (especially when you hear from her own mouth about how manipulative she was in regards to getting drugs and faking drug tests). But the stuff they did with the food and melon cakes was way too far.
I feel so bad for Demi, and other people who are constantly picked apart on the Internet who are obviously dealing with mental health issues and trauma.
Mental health issues are a reason, not an excuse. At the moment Demi is still using it as an excuse and so not trying to see other people's point of view with froyo being a prime example.
It’s so sad that virtually none of the executives at disney or nickelodeon take responsibility for their actions ruining or heavily negatively affecting young childrens lives
Demi's story is hearbreaking and it makes me think of the kids that are being exploited on family vlogging channels. Their lives are controlled, they work everyday (yes, it's work even if their parents claim it isn't), they don't get paid for their work but the money they help generate supports their family. In the few instances where family channels have removed their kids from their content, their views (and corresponding income) has dropped so the kids soon end up back in the vlogs. The kids participation is what pays for the roof over their head and puts food on the table. All the while having their every childhood tantrum and mistake blasted on the internet; no happy moment shared privately with their family; having sickos watching them; having people passing judgement on them. So messed up.
There´s already grown up kids of a couple of family channels that have spoken up about this issue and how mentally exhausting and nightmarish it was for them to grow up like this. I feel the same about insta/yt/tiktok accounts that give advice about parenting, cause even when its positive, helpful or short content, every day i get more and more uncomfortable seeing kids being recorded online all the time. wish parents realized how harmful it can be, not even considering stuff like cyberkidnapping or pedophilia
As an addict in recovery, I relate so damn much to Demi. I know a lot of people don’t like her and of course Idk her in person but I always feel like addiction plays so much into her negative side because it’s the same for me. Any time I’m in active addiction, it’s so hard to not be selfish and stand off-ish & it’s so easy to do bad things and convince myself it’s “all okay.” Then the guilt eats me inside out and would make me use more. When I’m clean, I’m kind & nothing makes me happier than making others happy, especially those I love. I hope to be clean for the rest of my life but as an addict who has relapsed off and on for the last 8 years, I know I could screw up any moment & that’s what keeps me grounded. All I want is to be a great mom, wife, daughter, and person. I’m currently working on that while working full time and going to college at 7 months pregnant so that I can give my kids and husband the best version of me and best version of life that they deserve. I’ve been clean for 9 months officially because my last relapse lasted a couple weeks but aside from that, I’ve lived the better part of 3 years clean. It’s really hard because I have chronic illnesses that have me in pain 24/7 and my mental health is a wreck but I’m doing my best. My kids and my husband deserve my best. I am doing it for them and I will continue to do it for them, always and forever.
I just wanted to sincerely thank you for sharing this with us...I cannot express how much this helps me not feel so alone/guilty/crazy and emotions I'm not even sure I understand. I have been struggling with clinical depression since age 11 and several others have popped up since then. I'm an opiate addict that gets clean for a bit and relapses, but I never stop trying. I am currently homeless and trying to keep my head above water with little to no support from friends or family...not asking for money I just want to have a relationship.(My dad passed recently as well) I am trying to get a job and get back on track and it's been rough but I'm not going to stop til I get it
I wish you all the best I’m on suboxone I’ve been on mat for almost 10 years now I know it isnt easy but I think getting clean is one of the hardest things anyone can do. We did it.
her background makes the Big Chill situation make so much sense. growing up without a parent, with peer bullying, all while working harder than any of them and being the breadwinner of her family. it makes sense that she thinks the world is out to get her. the world hasn't treated her very well. this is why people say fame is a deal with the devil
But still, it's not the job of the business or rest of the world to coddle someone or manage their triggers. That's on Demi. If she was so bothered by sugar free yogurt then she can go somewhere else. The world doesn't revolve around her.
I’m not a fan of some of things Demi has done (like using social media to attack that yogurt shop), but that doesn’t invalidate all her suffering. I wish her the best.
I was drinking wine, crying, and feeling seen by Demi's story. I don't have an addiction as intense as Demi's, but I definitely have a reliance on substances to help me through this tough patch in my life. It encouraged me to face my pain and my habits more. Love your content. Thank you for the work you do. Always wishing you and your family the very, very best.
Its brave of you to recognize that about yourself. I think its human nature to self medicate. Hope your path gets easier and burdens become lessened soon.
i got everything i wanted because there was very little that i wanted. i grew up fast enough to understand whats important to me and had a direction. the problem was that she had to carry responsibility she was not supposed to carry that came with the stardom she thought she wanted.
@@leiajiang7877 I think they mean like LITERALLY ANYTHING THEY WANTED. like Disney and management giving minors access to substances. My dad didn’t smoke with me until I was 18 cause you just don’t supply kids drugs.
Demi is one of those artists that a lot of people aren’t fans of given her odd behavior, but know has a lot of potential and kinda root for. It’s a mix. And knowing what she went through, can’t help but feel for her. Hopefully she gets back in the next 5 years. She’s young, still got a lot of talent. She can still make it back.
😅 She picked on a small business enough to ruin them and has a bad attitude. And is crying. From a mansion and millions of dollars. And access to medical care and therapists we only dream of. Next!
@@thegayestgoththis person never said they were a fan/supported Demi. all they said is that they have empathy for her. i don’t know how you can hear about someone being exploited, groomed and raped/left to die and NOT have empathy for that person. nobody here is saying they love Demi or agree with everything she says. she’s clearly not the best person to support but her experiences are valid and deserve to be heard.
Her new album feels like such a comeback. I feel bad for disliking and hating on Demi (and most celebrities) for very petty things without knowing how difficult their life is.
I feel for her a lot. As a teen I struggled with an ED too. I cant imagine this being amplified by fame and workload. She is incredibly talented, I feel so sorry for her and her struggles with substanzze and ed
I grew up watching Demi on Disney and have gone through a transformation as a result of my own struggles over the years. Demi’s performance of her song Anyone at the Grammys in 2020 happened at a time when I was also feeling an intense loneliness and need for, well, anyone to help me. I don’t want to contribute in any way to pressure on Demi, she deserves to be relieved from that and so much more. I do, however, respect and thank her for doing that performance because it actually felt like someone understood me for once. I needed to hear that performance in 2020. Thank you for making this video about them, my hope is that more people can listen to her music and know that there are people out there who understand them and empathize with Demi’s struggles.
I remember , being 17 years old , and making my 25 year old boyfriend burn me a copy of Don't Forget . 15 years later , I'm screaming 29 at her show , beside my best friend 🖤 I can't wait to see what else she does .
I was drawing while watching this!! Long videos like these are so great for creatives- they give you the time to zone out and immerse yourself in your work while listening to something thoughtful/ interesting. I turn to your channel a lot whenever I’m feeling creative for this reason!
I agree with "your triggers are not my responsibilities". But I advocate for empathy towards people who get triggered by that. Chosing kindness will always be the best way
You can’t always avoid people’s triggers. I get triggered by children (messed up childhood), but I will never ask people to take away their children because that’s just stupid😅. You shouldn’t expect people to be nice, you need to be able to handle it yourself.
One is allowed to make a fuss if someone keeps purposefully triggering you. But thankfully, those kinds of people are few and far between. Though we should normalise leaving a situation to avoid triggers more. Because sometimes that's the best way to deal with it to avoid panic attacks or a meltdown
Without people in my life willing to respect boundaries around my triggers, I wouldn't be handling general world triggers at all. I'm not applying that to Demi, I have no idea in that regard. I'm just mentioning in case anyone gets it twisted- others' triggers are not your responsibility but please don't dismiss your friends when they ask you to talk about something else or whatever due to their triggers. We can't expect that support from strangers but if your friends aren't supporting you, you might have the concept of friendship a bit wrong. Me telling close friends my triggers *is* me taking responsibility, I used to just hold it in until I couldn't and that cost me a lot friendships. Obviously if it's a store or something I don't expect that nor do I mention it. I just hate to see people get too broad with this concept (not saying any of you are) because it's most often very vulnerable people getting hurt and losing trust in being "worthy" of the support they need. But maybe that's just me, someone that always viewed friendship as a place to be comfortable being fully you. idk tldr; you're responsible for caring about a triggered person in your personal life if you plan to continue that friendship etc. if someone trusts you enough to tell you they're triggered, they are not asking you to be responsible for it- they're asking for the interaction ith you to turn to something else so that they have less difficulty working it out.
For me, the thing with Demi dating Wilmer Valderrama is so wild because they’re not *that* much older than me. When she was dating him, I too thought it was this cool, edgy thing and I was fine with the idea of age gaps. I still am, but you need to be older than 18 for certain. If I, now at 28, were to find someone around 40 it wouldn’t weird me out because I think there’s enough lived experience that it can even out the difference. But like Demi, as I’ve gotten closer to that age I realize JUST how much I’ve changed since legal adulthood. I can’t imagine dating someone just turning 18 now, and I can’t imagine the kind of person who would want to. It’s not a matter of consent, necessarily, but it’s definitely a matter of power, dynamics, and experience.
i am a demi lovato defender. they have been through too much for the internet to be so violent towards them. the way people constantly make fun of their self harm and overdoses when they make a mistake… i’ve never seen the internet treat a celebrity the way they do demi lovato.
People don't like her because her personality is grating and attention seeking. I am one of those that has no time for her. I am glad she's seemingly doing better though.
@@mrpeach2023 no, of course not. There's no need for people to bash her. I am just saying that there are a lot of people who are turned off by her personality. Those people are different from the ones that are just mean towards her.
55:54 okay so i used to work at Timberline Knolls and from working there for a year, I know how it can make patients think. TK is extremely trigger friendly, you can’t talk about food, positive or negative, and this creates a padded room type of thinking. I always disagreed with this method but it was embedded into the program. From that perspective, I totally see what Demi is saying and we have a mantra of “all foods fit” and “health at every size” basically stripping away what society has taught us about food and nutritional value of certain foods. I also see what others mean when they say your trigger is not my responsibility. I think there is a solid middle ground to know that when people are recovering from their ED, they are taught to start from ground 0 on everything that surrounds food. But also understanding that not everyone struggles with ED and it is important to some to know nutritional values for things like diabetes, heart conditions, thyroid disorders, ETC. just respecting others with mindful education is the goal
Demi was such a huge inspiration to me when I was younger and even as I grow older she has so many important messages that break my heart and I can relate to. We both struggled w self harm and EDs. We both had alcoholic fathers and found our ways to cope. And obviously as we both grew up I dropped tabs on her but I would always say I loved her...even through all the addiction struggles she had. Addiction doesnt make someone a bad person. It makes them vulnerable and they need help. Months ago when I heard 29 I was crying. In the time that I have stepped away from her I have been SA multiple times by multiple men. As a 17 who was used by a 24, a 18 year old who was used by a 26, and by a 19 being used by a 23...it is heartbreaking yet uplifting to know I am not alone. I am only 22 now...havent reached the age of any of my abusers but I know that their is no one I could have been w someone as young as that. Its disgusting and upsetting to think it is so common. Demi is my role model even through her struggles. She's a hero to us who fought at a young age and still could be fighting💕
I was bf my baby and eating, while enjoying your content about Demi. I feel her mom should be held more accountable in all this. Demi even said she/they reached out to her sobbing due to exhaustion. Demi seems quick to blame her dad for being an addict and leaving, but why wasn’t her mom trying to get her help with coping with the paid associated with having an addict as a parent? Instead, she/they were forced into beauty pageants, then tv/stardom… 🤔
Her mom talks about how she didn’t know to be seeking help for her and her kid bc she was also dealing with an Ed (and maybe addiction in addition to cptsd? she talked abt taking Xanax to self medicate when Demi was younger)
Addiction and mental health issues tend to be passed down through generations. which is why it can be really difficult for people to get help. parents are people too and make mistakes- I can also understand wanting to keep their relationship private bc I feel like it would have to be pretty complicated and not something you’d want open to public scrutiny
she is a stay at home mother with less power about the situation than demi. demi at least had the money to do the stupid shit she thought she wanted to do. also ever thought about there being contracts?
I watched this while washing dishes! (Your videos really help the mundane chores!) Despite her controversies, I mostly just feel for Demi. I went through such similar struggles with my birth mom that she went through with her dad. My mom was an addict, left my family, was distant but manipulative, and then eventually passed away. When my mom died, I went off the deep end because those feelings are just so complicated. By the grace of God, I am sober and recovered from an ED but if I hadn’t have gotten help, I would’ve probably had even more in common with Demi, unfortunately. Working out sobriety and recovery in private is hard enough, but to do that in the public eye?! I think that’s so unfair. And maybe her documentaries are her way of taking back the narrative. I think she’s got an incredible voice. And although I won’t listen to her albums just out of conviction for my moral beliefs, I do wish her well and hope she can find a thriving and healthy life with good people around her.
Love the video. Demi is definitely the most normal, down-to-earth Disney kid compared to Miley, Ariana, Zac and Co. Those kids unknowingly left the real world years ago.
I think there's so much bad/out-of-date information and ignorance about addiction and the recovery process. Its no wonder that Demi struggled so much. She likely has a lot of unresolved trauma and grief that fuels her addictive processes. Until she heals that, her "sobriety" will be very difficult to sustain.
I love the way you do your videos - they are well researched without judgment or bias, but you still appropriately inject your perspectives at the perfect time. your voice is also so soothing! I’m a new subscriber and excited to see what else you come out with. In the mean time, i’m binging the rest of your videos!
watched this while cleaning my bathroom and i loved your nuanced, researched, and compassionate take as a long time fan & someone who relates to a lot of demi’s struggles 💜
Her whole life was under the control of other ppl constantly, I can’t imagine what that does to a person. The part where her whole team controlled and took all means to prevent her from eating in her hotel room so she would still stay thin, that’s so horrible and sad, she was struggling with ED and her own team exacerbated it, I’m sure she felt like she had no autonomy
You had my full attention lol. I was sitting on my bed with my dog watching this. My daughters grew up watching Demi and listened to her music. One is still a huge fan of hers. While I did know some things, some I didn't know so thank you for this well researched, in depth look at the life of a tough woman who's clearly been thru it and hopefully she stays safely on the other side ❤️.
I think one of the biggest problems isn't the fact that we have child stars, it's the fact that as a society we put so much pressure on them like they can't even make mistakes without ending up crucified by the media and the public. And this happens not only to Disneys stars but a good example is Justin Bieber, search of all the things he has done and you will realize that most of those things we too did it as kids the difference is that we didn't have people following every single one of our moves. Mistakes are so important in life, it helps us grow, it helps us mature but we ask of child stars a maturity that they don't know, that they have never experienced cuz again, they are children. We have to let kids be kids. Another thing is dating older people. Which is a problem that still persists in the industry and we have to stop acting like it is okay. You got Billie Eillish dating a literal groomer and there are people literally defending it, like just because you defend it, it doesn't make it okay. She is 18 years old and the dude is almost 30, just because she is 18 and legally an adult, doesn't make it okay and some of y'all have to stop acting like it is.
after growing up and seen how many of the actors tells about the horror of disney, i'm thankful everytime one escape and speaks up.. Demi has overcome so much, and seeing them being genuine happy most likely helped so many
I just want to thank you for being such a wonderful person. I know this comment isn’t related to the video but I just wanted to say that I appreciate how respectful you are and how accepting you are of everyone. As a Christian I am really thankful to you for not disrespecting my religion as other creators do without a second thought. I also thank you for being respectful to people with disabilities, both mental and physical. I have autism and I really cannot thank you enough.
Just finished the vid while at work maintaining a line of cells. Great work as always! I'm glad you covered Demi's struggles. She was one of the few big child stars I hadn't heard the full story of but now I can see and acknowledge just another terrible situation and tragic victim of childhood fame. 🌹
as an addict i need ppl to stop glossing over *children* drinking alcohol..... like that shouldnt be normalized. idc how common it is, it shouldnt be seen as ok. it bothers me that ppl need to see someone like literally puking or like passing out or just like at their rock bottom before they are taken seriously as an addict that needs help. idk it just really really hits a nerve for me since i feel like so many ppl in my life brush under the rug all my cries for help and idk i feel so worn down at this point..... i just want ppl to have more empathy for the ppl around them going thru mental issues you cant see yk. like just because i may look put together or whatever, that doesnt invalidate my pain or trauma or addiction. idk..... just wanted to get that off my chest last thing, i just want to emphasize that like my issue is with ppl comparing what is and is not "bad enough" to "count" as someone worthy of help. when i hear these stories of v extreme cases of ppl abusing drugs and alcohol, it just feels like it invalidates ppl who are struggling but not to that extent. its like it makes it seem like addiction is only worthy enough of attention when its *this* bad, when ppl are stealing drugs to stay high, or idk just doing things that most ppl think of as "too far".... and it just bothers me because i remember how i used to feel, before i considered myself an addict, i used to idolize ppl who were so far gone that everyone was concerned, because i wanted ppl to give me that kinda of care and support (or yk thats how my child mind thought of it at the time). i just wish in these instances where we see huge celebrities with lots of money and power using that in ways most ppl cant, and never will be able to; when we dont hold space for the lesser extremes of these examples it makes it seem like thats all that addiction is, is the drama and the breakdown, and it doesnt make ppl think hard enough abt how addicts get to a spot where they are so desperate for help.. hh idk i have so many thoughts i keep just rambling so ill stop myself ig also ik im kinda overreacting, these kind of convos can be triggering.... i probably shouldnt have watched this video but oh well lol
you're so right! i've seen many cases like that, like my best friend who started smoking and drinking at 12 and quit both at 18, and my brother's friend, who has 2nd stage alcoholism at 16 :/ how crazy is that? i wish that less children and teens suffered from addiction in the future :(
Someone really needs to pass a law mandating time off and professional therapy during childhood (and preferably after as well) for child actors. Surely it's not *that* difficult? Honestly this ought to have been done at least 15 years ago, back when the first big child stars basically all* started struggling with big adult problems. * a bunch did manage to go happily about life without much fuss tho
Hi! I work in housekeeping and was cleaning someone’s vacation condo while listening to this :) UA-cam videos and podcasts help keep me company while I work alone all day and you’re one of my favorites!
I feel pity for Demi, but not that much pity. She outright told her manager how she didn't see any need to stay sober because she was unhappy. Her employer responded by urging her to think about how her actions would affect herself and the people around her. I don't think there is anything wrong with this response. Sometimes we all need to take a little accountability and see the bigger picture. Now was this a response a therapist would say? Of course not. I say that because this is a subject you really should only bring up to a therapist in private, not the people paying your bills and relying on you.
Children acting seems to be a fine line that their families never seem to handle properly, but I feel like Disney gets an almost unfairly bad reputation over it because it's such an iconic company. Not all child actors who struggle with growing out of it worked for Disney, but it seems like almost all of the ones you hear about are from Disney.
I was getting ready for work while watching this, I basically knew all the facts you presented, but still so shocking when it’s all put into a timeline. I really feel for Demi and hope they live a healthier life now
very much appreciate the way you handled demi's pronounds here -- a lot of times when a person uses multiple sets, others just pick one and use only that, so the consistent switching between them is refreshing!
@@ilickgrandmas2854is that all you took away from this video? idk why you can’t just read the room and realise your opinion is not always needed nor wanted.
You’re such a unique creator, love how in depth you go while being sensitive and also your voice is soothing :))) lol tysm for all you do! Also I listen while doing long commutes to work and also while I am in the office!
just wanted to say how much i appreciate all the obvious effort and time you put into your videos. they are always very well-researched, thought out, and understanding, and you handle sensitive topics and stories with extreme empathy and respect. massive kudos to you. you're one of the few creators that consistently puts up top tier content.
How is this industry legal? Also, I wish the media wouldn't prey on this. Complex trauma and addiction in the family increases the risks of addiction and that is not juicy gossip.
She is a ton of excuses and she blames absolutely everybody but herself just because she’s honest about the bullshit she pulls doesn’t mean that she’s not bullshit. No wonder she has such issues with herself really
i felt connected to demi growing up, the only person i saw speak on mental health, etc. this was so interesting , i love your videos! (i'm painting on a bag while watching!)
I can relate to Demi in that I've struggled with an eating disorder since I was 12. It started off as regular "dieting" then became actual anorexia. After I got inpatient treatment I was better for a bit but became bulimic. I've also struggled with alcohol. It sometimes feels like once I get past 1 bad habit I just pick up another. Sigh. Anyway, I was doing my dailies in Genshin Impact while watching this video lol
IMHO, the word "triggered" has gotten ridiculous. I won't use the word in regards to things that bother me. I also do not expect anyone to cater to mine- my responsibility - no one else's. My friends and family do not know mine, as it is not on them to do a thing about them- that's on ME. Seems to me like there are folks who believe the world centers around what their wants, needs, issues are- that's just not reality. If I had no more control over my own well- being than that, I would think that would be the bigger issue. I feel for Demi in certain instances,, but I also see that some of her issues are of her own devices.
I feel sympathy for her life story, but I just can't stand her personality. She does have lots of narcissistic traits, which of course can be a consequence of trauma, but not all erratic behaviour can be justified that way.
It would have been nice if you had touched on her bipolar a little bit when discussing her mental health - her speaking up on it was huge for the BP community, as it made a lot of us feel seen in the public eye. Otherwise, fantastic video as usual.
I've only recently started to watch you but omg you have such a great approach to any subject, and do it with a humble and well researched approach, keep rocking this because you've got me as a subscriber for life
Wow, so the year she had her big break was also the year she sang and the national anthem on Thanksgiving Day(? I could be wrong)! That performance got my attention and I’ve always respected her vocal talent because of that performance. I had no idea how much work she was doing.
I’ve grown up listening to and watching Demi’s work. I know that they’ve had issues that were caused by predatory people in the industry. I hope she’s alright now. They deserve so much better. I’m sorry Demi, but I hope you’re at least somewhat better. 💜
You and Sloan are my 2 favorite channels to watch for this kind of content, I really enjoy watching your videos and find them super informative and presented very well! Love your hair and lip!! Thank you for all your hard work 🙌
Girl tbh.. I was sitting on my back porch in the country smoking a blunt & enjoying the nice weather after it rained all day yesterday. I really enjoyed the video & its great content. I appreciate that you did speak on the controversial mess that she gets herself into as well! 🙄 Much love from Tennessee!! 💕❤😘
I have ADHD so I always need to listen something in the back to work or do chores. That's why I have watched almost all your videos! :D I love your voice, and how tactful you are with the subjects you analyze. Thank you for your hard work and please, do not forget to take breakes whenever you need them.
I work for a popular coffee shop and we hire a lot of teenagers. I recently turned 26 and let me tell you,... THEY ARE KIDS. I could NEVER. I mean, they are in a whole different stage in life and immature...because they are STILL growing. It's incredibly weird to imagine someone who is 3 years OLDER than me being in any way attracted to these kids. So yeah, what the fuck dude.
I love the contrast of her in Rock camp or whatever it's called and then her in that documentary singing to ghost aliens... it's eyeopening on what big show business does to a person.
The froyo incident was really ignorant of Demi. I hardly ever find desert I can eat because I'm diabetic and have celiac's disease. And also she could have ruined that business just because she got triggered
With the wave of channels like yours moving to cons piracies, for views, I absolutely ADORE how truth-based, thoughtful, aware and empathetic you are. Thank you. Much love from Latin America!
I have no doubt that demi went through the fire and flames of being a child star. However what kind of bugs me about her is it seems she loves to use either outrage or self victimization when attention on her dies down.
It’s definitely a result of the trauma they went through, and that’s something that needs to be worked out in therapy over many years, not in a new album, a new tour, promo, etc. Retreating back is probably gonna be the best choice for them if they want to live, not just survive
I did wonder how much of that was part of the froyo incident and then that blew up in all kinds of ways that she wasn't expecting (going by her reactions she thought she was calling out something for the common good). I couldn't help wondering if the non-binary announcement (not questioning their gender identity just the timing) happened then to try and take the focus away from froyo as again that announcement came with a whole lot of not admitting to this contributed to XYZ happening in my life
I can't imagine how brutal child stardom must be on someone's psyche. Looking back I feel so terrible for idolizing the likes of Amanda Bynes, Jeannette McCurdy, and Demi-then daring to shame them when they turned to substances and/or retired. It was SO hypocritical of me, and now seeing them all in a state of recovery just makes me relieved.
Playing Monster Hunter....Vibing casually on a game while I watch a video about very important topics, discussion, and societal issues helps me digest them and run them through my head over and over and over. Helps me remember the message rather than listen to it and then forget.
Can I just say... Not just celebrities deal with the same struggles . I know for a fact , there's people who have been overworked more doing physical labor , injuring themselves. As sad as what happened to her, I can only feel so much for her considering I know people who go thru so much worse and are not famous.
This was such a great video. I had this weird dislike for Demi because of her behavior, but this video really reset my way of thinking of her. I hope she continues her work towards bettering herself and her health. The same sentiment applies to literally every other star who struggled and is now dealing with the worst things. :(
As someone with diagnosed ADHD, I can’t stand people who abuse Adderall. Being diagnosed with ADHD and having prescribed to me at 25 years old saved my life. I always had symptoms but psychiatrists are just scared to test people for ADHD, especially women, because of people like this. And even after you get professionally diagnosed, people just assume you’re a drug addict.
I truly appreciate the lack of bias within this video. Many people are so quick to judge Demi based on past decisions/actions without actually knowing anything about them. They went through hell and back and they deserve more praise just for surviving it at all. It's nice to see them at a point where they are trying to live life the way they want to without listening to other peoples views or opinions.
Hi! Great video, I’ve always found it really shocking how child actors are treated and how nobody does anything about it. It’s clear it’s a systematic issue that needs to be fix. It’s very sad that they had to go through this. Not to sound mean but I have a question… I’ve seen several accounts that say bad things about Demi Lovato including that they were mean in school (no idea if this is true) and also that they treat people badly (particularly people working in hospitality or customer service). I was wondering if you had come across these accounts?
I love 29 and it means so much to me as someone who was 16 dating a 26 year old. It was not okay and I have been able to give that a space and move on with help from that song.
Another great informative video, working from home always feels more fun when getting to listen long videos of interesting topics like this. Demi deserved better but like they said, at least they can now help other juniors in the industry by sharing their experience and trying to keep their own possible future children out from the exploitation.
22:34: I have to comment on this as I can actually relate. Demi is only two years older than me and I dated someone who was 27 when I was 17 (legal age in my country to vote and drink is 18 for reference; 21 for casino). It might be a cultural thing so I might be misspeaking but I find it ridiculous to believe that while there were some people speaking out against these age gaps, it seemed more acceptable back then. It was not, is not and should never be acceptable for someone well into their 20s to date a teenager (I say well into because I still 18 and 20 isn't bad).
These videos are incredible. Adore them, thank you for all the passion, research and time into them it shows they are incredible. Interested for more 💛
I love your voice and I'm not surprised people have you running in the background. I actually didn't think I would make it through the whole video, but it wasn't hard at all. Great work!!
I was taking care of our brand new, 8 week old, French bulldog puppy. While washing the bedding, cleaning the house, and getting ready to take my twin 14 year old girls out to Ulta to go shopping!! Demi has always been a favorite of mine! She is sooooo talented and troubled. I hope she finds some peace in her life. I think she needs some spiritual healing.
If you are struggling with any of the issues mentioned in this video, there are helpful resources in the resources doc in the description of this video (also you are loved and not alone 💜)
Didn't Demi Lovato worked with and appeared on Nickelodeon?
@cruelworldhappymind you do such an amazing job on your videos. I love them. Since you did Demi, maybe you could do other stars like this. I would love to see your full dive on Michael Jackson. Keep up the amazing work!!!
@ cruelworldhappymind As a survivor and a mom I really appreciate what you wrote here! Any kind of abu$e is not the fault of the person experiencing it and they need to know that and knowing that even strangers or internet acquaintances care and send love and strength to them is so powerful. 💕
@@kenterminateddq5311 I wanted to be in show biz so bad as a kid 😭 can’t trust Hollyweird around the kiddies
The similarities in stories between Demi, Alyson Stoner, Jennette McCurdy, Amanda Bynes, and so many others just shows that this is a much bigger issue than we realize
The similarities are that they're all rich as fuck.
I have the same issues and struggles in life but I'm not rich, like many people haha, so it's a little hard to have too much sympathy
Also Alexa Nikolas. It's horrible.
@@WookieWarriorz Not necessarily- we don't know their financial situations. But do you think that people with money cannot have childhood trauma?
@@WookieWarriorz You are just a shit perso. Its very very hard listening to your story when you minimise everybody elses trauma like you are the biggest victim. Do better
@@WookieWarriorz They got little money thru Disney babe. Yeah they are good not poor but they got thst fame thru being children who were manipulated and traumatized. If you have no sympathy there then idk what to tell you
I’m still shocked at the fact that like 4 different people have come out about shit they went through as child actors and nobody has done anything about it. This is insane
people go through stuff like that as children no matter what. There's no reason to be shocked, nor can anything be done
@@kelseylandon1224gross what no they don’t???? Children don’t have whole companies extort them for money, control every second of their life, and force them into adulthood. If that was your childhood then something is wrong
@@kelseylandon1224 no they don’t..what children go through in hollywood is nothing like what regular kids go through.
This is a bigger pattern than that. Look at Judy Garland's story.....
4 is quite the understatement
i can't imagine how difficult it is to produce long-form content so well-researched in such a short space of time.
Thank you so much!! 🥺💜
It can be…but I try to give myself two days off in between videos!
@@cruelworldhappymind take your time even more days if necessary. Love your videos as well ❤
@@cruelworldhappymind I'll still be subscribed with notifications on if you slow down a tad bit, kids are a lot and I understand the struggle.
And to have it edited so incredibly 👌
I have a hard time liking Demi due to her actions, but I do feel that my heart has softened towards her knowing the horrible trauma she’s gone through. No one deserves that. I hope she keeps on the path toward healing and happiness.
same... it's not saying that it's ok everything she does, but just know that I'd be hurting like her too if I went through what she went...
Same!!
I honestly think it’s weird that they cancel her for something like that. Yet they let Kanye run around and say insensitive things and he’s everybody’s savior. He’s kinda cancelled now but why wait so long?
I also have a difficult time with her after the things I've seen and heard recently..
She's honestly currently contributing to the
No personal responsibility and personal victimization culture we have going on right now. (not speaking to real victims. But the, everyone needs to cater to me. Because I have issues, blame everyone but myself Bs)
I can't handle all that, and wish she wasn't part of it.
@@natashasullivan4559 I see what you’re saying. She has mentioned that she is what she is and she’s not apologizing for it, which is better than gaslighting the general public lol. It also makes me love her more because you don’t see that type of attitude anymore in public figures
The fact that Disney doesn’t have measures in place to prevent these consequences is maddening. Disney is basically a mill for child actors and there’s never some kind of safety net for them.
The story of Bobby Driscoll should be known. He can be considered the first child star from Disney and unbelievable heartbreaking.
My oldest son was almost a part of that mill. A traffic jam and missed audition was perhaps our saving grace. Otherwise my son might have become a 'Disney darling' and might have gone through some stuff that we now know Disney does to their young stars.
@@voodooprincess11 Hey, at least your son could be milionnaire
Rather cry inside a Mercedes right?
@@firstnamesurname2482 Money doesn't actually buy happiness though. Not long term anyway. And the child that actually got that role has sadly passed away from an illness, which could have possibly been made more dangerous from the intense pressure Disney puts on these young stars. Not to mention, both mine and my son's lives would have been drastically different in other non-monetary ways had we ended up in Hollywood, and that might not have been a good thing.
@@voodooprincess11 Money does bring happiness, like it or not
Again, it's better to cry inside your Mercedes than worn down shoebox house
Yeah, drastically different in what way?
Bunch of cameras showed up in your face?
I grew up with this era of Disney and loved Demi's music and everything she starred in. I'm in my late 20s now and I was gobsmacked when you said that everything I remembered her doing happened in the span of *two years*?? That's so insane and heartbreaking to hear a literal child being stretched so thin. It's no wonder they had such a bad mental break, how could any adult in her life be shocked
Its so sad to learn that the people that were your idols growing up were living in absolute misery. At the time I was well aware that they had to live by very strict rules but no way would I ever have guessed they were exploited the whole time. Even more heartbreaking that they gave millions of kids so much happiness while being denied theirs.
people in Hollywood have it easy, imagine what people in other industries (like kpop) go through
at least these kids have a little freedom
@@kjlandon9140 what was the point in saying this? it sucks for everyone. not a competition.
@@kjlandon9140 nah I know u ain't just say kpop 😭 they all have it bad
@@allseeer Because when these people complain it sounds ridiculous
child slaves exist, and atleast they have laws protecting them
@@Mascaraismybestfriend i say kpop because i knew trainees back when i lived in Seoul
it's horrific yet these hollywood stars act like they have it bad
Somehow, Wilmer Valderrama pops up in several stories of young female stars who were very vulnerable. Mandy Moore (who again landed in the cycle of abuse in her later marriage to Ryan Adams), Lindsay Lohan and Demi Lovato all dated this man when they were minors or barely 18. To quote Demi 'I feel like that says it all'.
All the women mentioned have struggled in their personal lives as well as in the industry, while the men keep thriving and see little to no consequences.
I’m not sure Mandy Moore would agree that says it all, though. She’s publicly put Ryan Adams on blast while having nothing but good things to say about Will as lately as just a few years ago.
I’d be very interested in any allegations of abusive of manipulative behavior, but short of that, I can’t agree that it “says everything”.
There’s something wrong with him to only date barely turned 18 young girls with issues.
@@galaxy6484 He’s currently married to a 32 year old.
seems like it happened before camp rock and it seems to be happening during her adulthood because these men seek her innocence or what is left of it :(((((
So because Ryan Adams said that she was not talented, which she isn’t, that’s abuse? LMAO OK… Quit vilifying Ryan when Wilmer is a bigger issue.
Demi Lovato spoke up about mental health before it was mainstream and popular. And she also opened up about her addiction
It's been popular since before she was even a teenager, just not quite to the extent that it is now, where people wear it as fashion accessories. It was still very profitable though.
Naaa, can’t agree
@@clarrisamariee4745 i dont remember many people speaking about bipolar disorders or their personal struggles as much as she did but specifically about mental health she even went to the government so...
She picked on a small business enough to ruin them and has a bad attitude. And is crying. From a mansion and millions of dollars. And access to medical care and therapists we only dream of. Next!
@@thegayestgoth She was wrong for that but the business got a lot of publicity and customers from that drama. I’m just giving her credit where it’s due, she’s not a perfect person. nobody is. Demi spoke at the Democratic National Convention about mental health needing to be available to everyone who cannot afford it, recognizing she can because of her financial status.
I can’t believe her team thought that that amount of control would help. Addiction/controlling behaviour STEMS from something. Why can’t people understand that. You can’t deal with this shit on the surface level. “Just stop drinking.” Right. Trying to stop an addict/alcoholic in this way is gonna make them feel more a freak, alienated, isolated and misunderstood.
I think her old team and manager had no idea how to handle that situation in regards to addiction as the rest of their clients didn’t have as much problems as Demi - so they handled it the best they could. Mind you they also saved her life twice prior to getting sober for the first time and we don’t know what would’ve happened had they allowed her to go off the rails after she quit the Jonas Brothers/Camp rock 2 tour. Could you say most of it was in poor taste? Yes.
Some things they did right, like taking their phone, drug-testing her team, sending her to rehab and giving her a sober companion even for three years - (especially when you hear from her own mouth about how manipulative she was in regards to getting drugs and faking drug tests).
But the stuff they did with the food and melon cakes was way too far.
I feel so bad for Demi, and other people who are constantly picked apart on the Internet who are obviously dealing with mental health issues and trauma.
They are a monster.
@@beanybabyrabie they’re a person, like it or not.
She picked on a small business enough to ruin them and has a bad attitude. And is crying. From a mansion and millions of dollars.
Mental health issues are a reason, not an excuse. At the moment Demi is still using it as an excuse and so not trying to see other people's point of view with froyo being a prime example.
@@thegayestgoth still a human being
It’s so sad that virtually none of the executives at disney or nickelodeon take responsibility for their actions ruining or heavily negatively affecting young childrens lives
It's been like that forever. Look at Judy Garland
Demi's story is hearbreaking and it makes me think of the kids that are being exploited on family vlogging channels. Their lives are controlled, they work everyday (yes, it's work even if their parents claim it isn't), they don't get paid for their work but the money they help generate supports their family. In the few instances where family channels have removed their kids from their content, their views (and corresponding income) has dropped so the kids soon end up back in the vlogs. The kids participation is what pays for the roof over their head and puts food on the table. All the while having their every childhood tantrum and mistake blasted on the internet; no happy moment shared privately with their family; having sickos watching them; having people passing judgement on them. So messed up.
There´s already grown up kids of a couple of family channels that have spoken up about this issue and how mentally exhausting and nightmarish it was for them to grow up like this. I feel the same about insta/yt/tiktok accounts that give advice about parenting, cause even when its positive, helpful or short content, every day i get more and more uncomfortable seeing kids being recorded online all the time. wish parents realized how harmful it can be, not even considering stuff like cyberkidnapping or pedophilia
As an addict in recovery, I relate so damn much to Demi. I know a lot of people don’t like her and of course Idk her in person but I always feel like addiction plays so much into her negative side because it’s the same for me. Any time I’m in active addiction, it’s so hard to not be selfish and stand off-ish & it’s so easy to do bad things and convince myself it’s “all okay.” Then the guilt eats me inside out and would make me use more. When I’m clean, I’m kind & nothing makes me happier than making others happy, especially those I love. I hope to be clean for the rest of my life but as an addict who has relapsed off and on for the last 8 years, I know I could screw up any moment & that’s what keeps me grounded.
All I want is to be a great mom, wife, daughter, and person. I’m currently working on that while working full time and going to college at 7 months pregnant so that I can give my kids and husband the best version of me and best version of life that they deserve. I’ve been clean for 9 months officially because my last relapse lasted a couple weeks but aside from that, I’ve lived the better part of 3 years clean. It’s really hard because I have chronic illnesses that have me in pain 24/7 and my mental health is a wreck but I’m doing my best. My kids and my husband deserve my best. I am doing it for them and I will continue to do it for them, always and forever.
Wish you the best! But also do it for YOU, for YOUR health and happiness! 🍀
Wishing you the best ❤❤
I just wanted to sincerely thank you for sharing this with us...I cannot express how much this helps me not feel so alone/guilty/crazy and emotions I'm not even sure I understand. I have been struggling with clinical depression since age 11 and several others have popped up since then. I'm an opiate addict that gets clean for a bit and relapses, but I never stop trying. I am currently homeless and trying to keep my head above water with little to no support from friends or family...not asking for money I just want to have a relationship.(My dad passed recently as well)
I am trying to get a job and get back on track and it's been rough but I'm not going to stop til I get it
Thank you for sharing and hope you're doing fine ❤️
I wish you all the best I’m on suboxone I’ve been on mat for almost 10 years now I know it isnt easy but I think getting clean is one of the hardest things anyone can do. We did it.
her background makes the Big Chill situation make so much sense. growing up without a parent, with peer bullying, all while working harder than any of them and being the breadwinner of her family. it makes sense that she thinks the world is out to get her. the world hasn't treated her very well. this is why people say fame is a deal with the devil
But still, it's not the job of the business or rest of the world to coddle someone or manage their triggers. That's on Demi. If she was so bothered by sugar free yogurt then she can go somewhere else. The world doesn't revolve around her.
I’m not a fan of some of things Demi has done (like using social media to attack that yogurt shop), but that doesn’t invalidate all her suffering. I wish her the best.
Who bullies a coming up actor???
I was drinking wine, crying, and feeling seen by Demi's story. I don't have an addiction as intense as Demi's, but I definitely have a reliance on substances to help me through this tough patch in my life. It encouraged me to face my pain and my habits more. Love your content. Thank you for the work you do. Always wishing you and your family the very, very best.
Its brave of you to recognize that about yourself. I think its human nature to self medicate. Hope your path gets easier and burdens become lessened soon.
Can you imagine how messed up we’d all be if we got everything we want as a teen?
It actually applies to everyone.
everything but some privacy and times for yourself
@@toshiyaasakiri7187 safety too
i got everything i wanted because there was very little that i wanted. i grew up fast enough to understand whats important to me and had a direction. the problem was that she had to carry responsibility she was not supposed to carry that came with the stardom she thought she wanted.
@@leiajiang7877 I think they mean like LITERALLY ANYTHING THEY WANTED. like Disney and management giving minors access to substances. My dad didn’t smoke with me until I was 18 cause you just don’t supply kids drugs.
Demi is one of those artists that a lot of people aren’t fans of given her odd behavior, but know has a lot of potential and kinda root for.
It’s a mix.
And knowing what she went through, can’t help but feel for her. Hopefully she gets back in the next 5 years. She’s young, still got a lot of talent. She can still make it back.
Honestly, Demi is a human being. I had that exact same traumatic event happen to me. I suppose that's why I feel so much empathy towards Demi.
Me too ❤ Sending love
i hate that this is such a universal experience. it’s a difficult thing to process, hope you’ve healed😞
😅 She picked on a small business enough to ruin them and has a bad attitude. And is crying. From a mansion and millions of dollars. And access to medical care and therapists we only dream of. Next!
@@thegayestgoth How people can symphatize with these type of people?
Do they care about you? no
Leave them be
@@thegayestgoththis person never said they were a fan/supported Demi. all they said is that they have empathy for her. i don’t know how you can hear about someone being exploited, groomed and raped/left to die and NOT have empathy for that person. nobody here is saying they love Demi or agree with everything she says. she’s clearly not the best person to support but her experiences are valid and deserve to be heard.
Her new album feels like such a comeback. I feel bad for disliking and hating on Demi (and most celebrities) for very petty things without knowing how difficult their life is.
“Name something in a kid’s mouth” what an odd question??
Right?! That was a really bizarre thing I had to include in the video because why was Demi subjected to that at such a young age??
I feel for her a lot. As a teen I struggled with an ED too. I cant imagine this being amplified by fame and workload. She is incredibly talented, I feel so sorry for her and her struggles with substanzze and ed
I grew up watching Demi on Disney and have gone through a transformation as a result of my own struggles over the years. Demi’s performance of her song Anyone at the Grammys in 2020 happened at a time when I was also feeling an intense loneliness and need for, well, anyone to help me. I don’t want to contribute in any way to pressure on Demi, she deserves to be relieved from that and so much more. I do, however, respect and thank her for doing that performance because it actually felt like someone understood me for once. I needed to hear that performance in 2020.
Thank you for making this video about them, my hope is that more people can listen to her music and know that there are people out there who understand them and empathize with Demi’s struggles.
I remember , being 17 years old , and making my 25 year old boyfriend burn me a copy of Don't Forget . 15 years later , I'm screaming 29 at her show , beside my best friend 🖤 I can't wait to see what else she does .
Your "boyfriend" was 25...?🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
I was drawing while watching this!! Long videos like these are so great for creatives- they give you the time to zone out and immerse yourself in your work while listening to something thoughtful/ interesting. I turn to your channel a lot whenever I’m feeling creative for this reason!
I agree with "your triggers are not my responsibilities". But I advocate for empathy towards people who get triggered by that. Chosing kindness will always be the best way
I agree but don’t be a big crybaby about it. It’s a small business and isn’t catered to one demographic. They can’t put a trigger warning on the sign
@@psychotickitten4380 100% this
You can’t always avoid people’s triggers. I get triggered by children (messed up childhood), but I will never ask people to take away their children because that’s just stupid😅. You shouldn’t expect people to be nice, you need to be able to handle it yourself.
One is allowed to make a fuss if someone keeps purposefully triggering you. But thankfully, those kinds of people are few and far between.
Though we should normalise leaving a situation to avoid triggers more. Because sometimes that's the best way to deal with it to avoid panic attacks or a meltdown
Without people in my life willing to respect boundaries around my triggers, I wouldn't be handling general world triggers at all.
I'm not applying that to Demi, I have no idea in that regard.
I'm just mentioning in case anyone gets it twisted- others' triggers are not your responsibility but please don't dismiss your friends when they ask you to talk about something else or whatever due to their triggers. We can't expect that support from strangers but if your friends aren't supporting you, you might have the concept of friendship a bit wrong. Me telling close friends my triggers *is* me taking responsibility, I used to just hold it in until I couldn't and that cost me a lot friendships. Obviously if it's a store or something I don't expect that nor do I mention it.
I just hate to see people get too broad with this concept (not saying any of you are) because it's most often very vulnerable people getting hurt and losing trust in being "worthy" of the support they need. But maybe that's just me, someone that always viewed friendship as a place to be comfortable being fully you. idk
tldr; you're responsible for caring about a triggered person in your personal life if you plan to continue that friendship etc. if someone trusts you enough to tell you they're triggered, they are not asking you to be responsible for it- they're asking for the interaction ith you to turn to something else so that they have less difficulty working it out.
I always felt bad for Demi, especially when dealing with mental health issues. It was always creepy how much the media obsesses about child stars
For me, the thing with Demi dating Wilmer Valderrama is so wild because they’re not *that* much older than me. When she was dating him, I too thought it was this cool, edgy thing and I was fine with the idea of age gaps. I still am, but you need to be older than 18 for certain. If I, now at 28, were to find someone around 40 it wouldn’t weird me out because I think there’s enough lived experience that it can even out the difference. But like Demi, as I’ve gotten closer to that age I realize JUST how much I’ve changed since legal adulthood. I can’t imagine dating someone just turning 18 now, and I can’t imagine the kind of person who would want to. It’s not a matter of consent, necessarily, but it’s definitely a matter of power, dynamics, and experience.
i am a demi lovato defender. they have been through too much for the internet to be so violent towards them. the way people constantly make fun of their self harm and overdoses when they make a mistake… i’ve never seen the internet treat a celebrity the way they do demi lovato.
THIS!!!
People don't like her because her personality is grating and attention seeking. I am one of those that has no time for her. I am glad she's seemingly doing better though.
@@raaid22 Although I get what you mean, does that also mean for everyone to be very harsh towards Demi?
@@mrpeach2023 no, of course not. There's no need for people to bash her. I am just saying that there are a lot of people who are turned off by her personality. Those people are different from the ones that are just mean towards her.
❤❤
55:54 okay so i used to work at Timberline Knolls and from working there for a year, I know how it can make patients think. TK is extremely trigger friendly, you can’t talk about food, positive or negative, and this creates a padded room type of thinking. I always disagreed with this method but it was embedded into the program. From that perspective, I totally see what Demi is saying and we have a mantra of “all foods fit” and “health at every size” basically stripping away what society has taught us about food and nutritional value of certain foods. I also see what others mean when they say your trigger is not my responsibility. I think there is a solid middle ground to know that when people are recovering from their ED, they are taught to start from ground 0 on everything that surrounds food. But also understanding that not everyone struggles with ED and it is important to some to know nutritional values for things like diabetes, heart conditions, thyroid disorders, ETC. just respecting others with mindful education is the goal
Demi was such a huge inspiration to me when I was younger and even as I grow older she has so many important messages that break my heart and I can relate to. We both struggled w self harm and EDs. We both had alcoholic fathers and found our ways to cope. And obviously as we both grew up I dropped tabs on her but I would always say I loved her...even through all the addiction struggles she had. Addiction doesnt make someone a bad person. It makes them vulnerable and they need help. Months ago when I heard 29 I was crying. In the time that I have stepped away from her I have been SA multiple times by multiple men. As a 17 who was used by a 24, a 18 year old who was used by a 26, and by a 19 being used by a 23...it is heartbreaking yet uplifting to know I am not alone. I am only 22 now...havent reached the age of any of my abusers but I know that their is no one I could have been w someone as young as that. Its disgusting and upsetting to think it is so common. Demi is my role model even through her struggles. She's a hero to us who fought at a young age and still could be fighting💕
I was bf my baby and eating, while enjoying your content about Demi. I feel her mom should be held more accountable in all this. Demi even said she/they reached out to her sobbing due to exhaustion. Demi seems quick to blame her dad for being an addict and leaving, but why wasn’t her mom trying to get her help with coping with the paid associated with having an addict as a parent? Instead, she/they were forced into beauty pageants, then tv/stardom… 🤔
Her mom talks about how she didn’t know to be seeking help for her and her kid bc she was also dealing with an Ed (and maybe addiction in addition to cptsd? she talked abt taking Xanax to self medicate when Demi was younger)
Addiction and mental health issues tend to be passed down through generations. which is why it can be really difficult for people to get help. parents are people too and make mistakes- I can also understand wanting to keep their relationship private bc I feel like it would have to be pretty complicated and not something you’d want open to public scrutiny
@@kiaraburch2935 I get that, but she was the parent, not demi. Her being a stay at home mom while her daughter worked endlessly is very exploitative.
she is a stay at home mother with less power about the situation than demi. demi at least had the money to do the stupid shit she thought she wanted to do. also ever thought about there being contracts?
I watched this while washing dishes! (Your videos really help the mundane chores!) Despite her controversies, I mostly just feel for Demi. I went through such similar struggles with my birth mom that she went through with her dad. My mom was an addict, left my family, was distant but manipulative, and then eventually passed away. When my mom died, I went off the deep end because those feelings are just so complicated. By the grace of God, I am sober and recovered from an ED but if I hadn’t have gotten help, I would’ve probably had even more in common with Demi, unfortunately. Working out sobriety and recovery in private is hard enough, but to do that in the public eye?! I think that’s so unfair. And maybe her documentaries are her way of taking back the narrative. I think she’s got an incredible voice. And although I won’t listen to her albums just out of conviction for my moral beliefs, I do wish her well and hope she can find a thriving and healthy life with good people around her.
Love the video. Demi is definitely the most normal, down-to-earth Disney kid compared to Miley, Ariana, Zac and Co. Those kids unknowingly left the real world years ago.
I think there's so much bad/out-of-date information and ignorance about addiction and the recovery process. Its no wonder that Demi struggled so much. She likely has a lot of unresolved trauma and grief that fuels her addictive processes. Until she heals that, her "sobriety" will be very difficult to sustain.
I love the way you do your videos - they are well researched without judgment or bias, but you still appropriately inject your perspectives at the perfect time. your voice is also so soothing! I’m a new subscriber and excited to see what else you come out with. In the mean time, i’m binging the rest of your videos!
watched this while cleaning my bathroom and i loved your nuanced, researched, and compassionate take as a long time fan & someone who relates to a lot of demi’s struggles 💜
Her whole life was under the control of other ppl constantly, I can’t imagine what that does to a person. The part where her whole team controlled and took all means to prevent her from eating in her hotel room so she would still stay thin, that’s so horrible and sad, she was struggling with ED and her own team exacerbated it, I’m sure she felt like she had no autonomy
You had my full attention lol. I was sitting on my bed with my dog watching this.
My daughters grew up watching Demi and listened to her music. One is still a huge fan of hers. While I did know some things, some I didn't know so thank you for this well researched, in depth look at the life of a tough woman who's clearly been thru it and hopefully she stays safely on the other side ❤️.
I think one of the biggest problems isn't the fact that we have child stars, it's the fact that as a society we put so much pressure on them like they can't even make mistakes without ending up crucified by the media and the public. And this happens not only to Disneys stars but a good example is Justin Bieber, search of all the things he has done and you will realize that most of those things we too did it as kids the difference is that we didn't have people following every single one of our moves. Mistakes are so important in life, it helps us grow, it helps us mature but we ask of child stars a maturity that they don't know, that they have never experienced cuz again, they are children. We have to let kids be kids.
Another thing is dating older people. Which is a problem that still persists in the industry and we have to stop acting like it is okay. You got Billie Eillish dating a literal groomer and there are people literally defending it, like just because you defend it, it doesn't make it okay. She is 18 years old and the dude is almost 30, just because she is 18 and legally an adult, doesn't make it okay and some of y'all have to stop acting like it is.
after growing up and seen how many of the actors tells about the horror of disney, i'm thankful everytime one escape and speaks up.. Demi has overcome so much, and seeing them being genuine happy most likely helped so many
I just want to thank you for being such a wonderful person. I know this comment isn’t related to the video but I just wanted to say that I appreciate how respectful you are and how accepting you are of everyone. As a Christian I am really thankful to you for not disrespecting my religion as other creators do without a second thought. I also thank you for being respectful to people with disabilities, both mental and physical. I have autism and I really cannot thank you enough.
Just finished the vid while at work maintaining a line of cells. Great work as always! I'm glad you covered Demi's struggles. She was one of the few big child stars I hadn't heard the full story of but now I can see and acknowledge just another terrible situation and tragic victim of childhood fame. 🌹
as an addict i need ppl to stop glossing over *children* drinking alcohol..... like that shouldnt be normalized. idc how common it is, it shouldnt be seen as ok. it bothers me that ppl need to see someone like literally puking or like passing out or just like at their rock bottom before they are taken seriously as an addict that needs help. idk it just really really hits a nerve for me since i feel like so many ppl in my life brush under the rug all my cries for help and idk i feel so worn down at this point..... i just want ppl to have more empathy for the ppl around them going thru mental issues you cant see yk. like just because i may look put together or whatever, that doesnt invalidate my pain or trauma or addiction. idk..... just wanted to get that off my chest
last thing, i just want to emphasize that like my issue is with ppl comparing what is and is not "bad enough" to "count" as someone worthy of help. when i hear these stories of v extreme cases of ppl abusing drugs and alcohol, it just feels like it invalidates ppl who are struggling but not to that extent. its like it makes it seem like addiction is only worthy enough of attention when its *this* bad, when ppl are stealing drugs to stay high, or idk just doing things that most ppl think of as "too far".... and it just bothers me because i remember how i used to feel, before i considered myself an addict, i used to idolize ppl who were so far gone that everyone was concerned, because i wanted ppl to give me that kinda of care and support (or yk thats how my child mind thought of it at the time). i just wish in these instances where we see huge celebrities with lots of money and power using that in ways most ppl cant, and never will be able to; when we dont hold space for the lesser extremes of these examples it makes it seem like thats all that addiction is, is the drama and the breakdown, and it doesnt make ppl think hard enough abt how addicts get to a spot where they are so desperate for help.. hh idk i have so many thoughts i keep just rambling so ill stop myself ig
also ik im kinda overreacting, these kind of convos can be triggering.... i probably shouldnt have watched this video but oh well lol
you're so right! i've seen many cases like that, like my best friend who started smoking and drinking at 12 and quit both at 18, and my brother's friend, who has 2nd stage alcoholism at 16 :/
how crazy is that? i wish that less children and teens suffered from addiction in the future :(
Someone really needs to pass a law mandating time off and professional therapy during childhood (and preferably after as well) for child actors. Surely it's not *that* difficult? Honestly this ought to have been done at least 15 years ago, back when the first big child stars basically all* started struggling with big adult problems.
* a bunch did manage to go happily about life without much fuss tho
My heart breaks for her. She’s so stunning and talented and her voice give me chills
Hi! I work in housekeeping and was cleaning someone’s vacation condo while listening to this :) UA-cam videos and podcasts help keep me company while I work alone all day and you’re one of my favorites!
I feel pity for Demi, but not that much pity. She outright told her manager how she didn't see any need to stay sober because she was unhappy. Her employer responded by urging her to think about how her actions would affect herself and the people around her. I don't think there is anything wrong with this response. Sometimes we all need to take a little accountability and see the bigger picture.
Now was this a response a therapist would say? Of course not. I say that because this is a subject you really should only bring up to a therapist in private, not the people paying your bills and relying on you.
Children acting seems to be a fine line that their families never seem to handle properly, but I feel like Disney gets an almost unfairly bad reputation over it because it's such an iconic company. Not all child actors who struggle with growing out of it worked for Disney, but it seems like almost all of the ones you hear about are from Disney.
I was getting ready for work while watching this, I basically knew all the facts you presented, but still so shocking when it’s all put into a timeline. I really feel for Demi and hope they live a healthier life now
very much appreciate the way you handled demi's pronounds here -- a lot of times when a person uses multiple sets, others just pick one and use only that, so the consistent switching between them is refreshing!
Lmao so it's not enough that people role-play the pronoun thing with others, now we gotta alternate between them too to show more respect 💀
@@ilickgrandmas2854is that all you took away from this video? idk why you can’t just read the room and realise your opinion is not always needed nor wanted.
You’re such a unique creator, love how in depth you go while being sensitive and also your voice is soothing :))) lol tysm for all you do! Also I listen while doing long commutes to work and also while I am in the office!
yesss! i could listen to her voice all day
just wanted to say how much i appreciate all the obvious effort and time you put into your videos. they are always very well-researched, thought out, and understanding, and you handle sensitive topics and stories with extreme empathy and respect. massive kudos to you. you're one of the few creators that consistently puts up top tier content.
How is this industry legal? Also, I wish the media wouldn't prey on this. Complex trauma and addiction in the family increases the risks of addiction and that is not juicy gossip.
She is a ton of excuses and she blames absolutely everybody but herself just because she’s honest about the bullshit she pulls doesn’t mean that she’s not bullshit. No wonder she has such issues with herself really
i felt connected to demi growing up, the only person i saw speak on mental health, etc. this was so interesting , i love your videos!
(i'm painting on a bag while watching!)
I can relate to Demi in that I've struggled with an eating disorder since I was 12. It started off as regular "dieting" then became actual anorexia. After I got inpatient treatment I was better for a bit but became bulimic. I've also struggled with alcohol. It sometimes feels like once I get past 1 bad habit I just pick up another. Sigh.
Anyway, I was doing my dailies in Genshin Impact while watching this video lol
This was very well done. 💜
I was feeding my animals, doing my night time skin care routine, and getting ready for bed while watching this one.
kinda seemed like you were leading to a Big Chill UFO encounter there for a sec had me excited
IMHO, the word "triggered" has gotten ridiculous. I won't use the word in regards to things that bother me. I also do not expect anyone to cater to mine- my responsibility - no one else's. My friends and family do not know mine, as it is not on them to do a thing about them- that's on ME. Seems to me like there are folks who believe the world centers around what their wants, needs, issues are- that's just not reality. If I had no more control over my own well- being than that, I would think that would be the bigger issue.
I feel for Demi in certain instances,, but I also see that some of her issues are of her own devices.
I feel sympathy for her life story, but I just can't stand her personality. She does have lots of narcissistic traits, which of course can be a consequence of trauma, but not all erratic behaviour can be justified that way.
It would have been nice if you had touched on her bipolar a little bit when discussing her mental health - her speaking up on it was huge for the BP community, as it made a lot of us feel seen in the public eye. Otherwise, fantastic video as usual.
Editing photos while watching (photographer). Mahalo for the well-produced videos!
I've only recently started to watch you but omg you have such a great approach to any subject, and do it with a humble and well researched approach, keep rocking this because you've got me as a subscriber for life
OMG WOW thank you!!! 🥺💜💜💜😭
Wow, so the year she had her big break was also the year she sang and the national anthem on Thanksgiving Day(? I could be wrong)! That performance got my attention and I’ve always respected her vocal talent because of that performance. I had no idea how much work she was doing.
I’ve grown up listening to and watching Demi’s work. I know that they’ve had issues that were caused by predatory people in the industry. I hope she’s alright now. They deserve so much better. I’m sorry Demi, but I hope you’re at least somewhat better. 💜
You and Sloan are my 2 favorite channels to watch for this kind of content, I really enjoy watching your videos and find them super informative and presented very well! Love your hair and lip!! Thank you for all your hard work 🙌
Girl tbh.. I was sitting on my back porch in the country smoking a blunt & enjoying the nice weather after it rained all day yesterday. I really enjoyed the video & its great content. I appreciate that you did speak on the controversial mess that she gets herself into as well! 🙄 Much love from Tennessee!! 💕❤😘
I have ADHD so I always need to listen something in the back to work or do chores. That's why I have watched almost all your videos! :D I love your voice, and how tactful you are with the subjects you analyze. Thank you for your hard work and please, do not forget to take breakes whenever you need them.
i do the same when i have to do stuff
imagine poor michael jackson’s childhood
So glad you're covering this! They're amazing but they did them so dirty so many times 😞
You look so beautiful, hope all is well 💜
💜🥺 thank you love hope you enjoy the video!
@@cruelworldhappymind I love it, just like all the others! You're very respectful and calming 💜
I work for a popular coffee shop and we hire a lot of teenagers. I recently turned 26 and let me tell you,... THEY ARE KIDS. I could NEVER. I mean, they are in a whole different stage in life and immature...because they are STILL growing. It's incredibly weird to imagine someone who is 3 years OLDER than me being in any way attracted to these kids. So yeah, what the fuck dude.
I've listened to that 29 song as you've mentioned it and I must say, everything was said in this song. Such good lyrics though 👌
I love the contrast of her in Rock camp or whatever it's called and then her in that documentary singing to ghost aliens... it's eyeopening on what big show business does to a person.
i was grading essays while watching this lol! i do also put your videos on to listen to while driving since i commute 50 mins!
The froyo incident was really ignorant of Demi. I hardly ever find desert I can eat because I'm diabetic and have celiac's disease. And also she could have ruined that business just because she got triggered
With the wave of channels like yours moving to cons piracies, for views, I absolutely ADORE how truth-based, thoughtful, aware and empathetic you are. Thank you. Much love from Latin America!
I was working on this on my thesis paper...I like your content coz it doesn't keeps me active and interested while giving me the right mount of zen
I have no doubt that demi went through the fire and flames of being a child star. However what kind of bugs me about her is it seems she loves to use either outrage or self victimization when attention on her dies down.
It’s definitely a result of the trauma they went through, and that’s something that needs to be worked out in therapy over many years, not in a new album, a new tour, promo, etc. Retreating back is probably gonna be the best choice for them if they want to live, not just survive
I did wonder how much of that was part of the froyo incident and then that blew up in all kinds of ways that she wasn't expecting (going by her reactions she thought she was calling out something for the common good). I couldn't help wondering if the non-binary announcement (not questioning their gender identity just the timing) happened then to try and take the focus away from froyo as again that announcement came with a whole lot of not admitting to this contributed to XYZ happening in my life
@@Delight101ful Very typical of them
Create controversy, get bad publicity, apologize, repeat
And you people keep saying "oh poor girl"
I can't imagine how brutal child stardom must be on someone's psyche. Looking back I feel so terrible for idolizing the likes of Amanda Bynes, Jeannette McCurdy, and Demi-then daring to shame them when they turned to substances and/or retired. It was SO hypocritical of me, and now seeing them all in a state of recovery just makes me relieved.
Playing Monster Hunter....Vibing casually on a game while I watch a video about very important topics, discussion, and societal issues helps me digest them and run them through my head over and over and over. Helps me remember the message rather than listen to it and then forget.
Can I just say... Not just celebrities deal with the same struggles .
I know for a fact , there's people who have been overworked more doing physical labor , injuring themselves.
As sad as what happened to her, I can only feel so much for her considering I know people who go thru so much worse and are not famous.
And make way less as well.
But the fact is they’re literally children really is that shady part.
Your look is serving old hollywood
Wow thank you!! Absolutely love old Hollywood style 😍
@@cruelworldhappymind And of course, you're the best, love your content. My day has been terrible so thank you for the pick-me-up 🖤
This was such a great video. I had this weird dislike for Demi because of her behavior, but this video really reset my way of thinking of her. I hope she continues her work towards bettering herself and her health. The same sentiment applies to literally every other star who struggled and is now dealing with the worst things. :(
As someone with diagnosed ADHD, I can’t stand people who abuse Adderall. Being diagnosed with ADHD and having prescribed to me at 25 years old saved my life. I always had symptoms but psychiatrists are just scared to test people for ADHD, especially women, because of people like this. And even after you get professionally diagnosed, people just assume you’re a drug addict.
I truly appreciate the lack of bias within this video. Many people are so quick to judge Demi based on past decisions/actions without actually knowing anything about them. They went through hell and back and they deserve more praise just for surviving it at all. It's nice to see them at a point where they are trying to live life the way they want to without listening to other peoples views or opinions.
I was sowing a bookblock to make my own journal! :D
Hi! Great video, I’ve always found it really shocking how child actors are treated and how nobody does anything about it. It’s clear it’s a systematic issue that needs to be fix. It’s very sad that they had to go through this.
Not to sound mean but I have a question… I’ve seen several accounts that say bad things about Demi Lovato including that they were mean in school (no idea if this is true) and also that they treat people badly (particularly people working in hospitality or customer service). I was wondering if you had come across these accounts?
I love 29 and it means so much to me as someone who was 16 dating a 26 year old. It was not okay and I have been able to give that a space and move on with help from that song.
Another great informative video, working from home always feels more fun when getting to listen long videos of interesting topics like this. Demi deserved better but like they said, at least they can now help other juniors in the industry by sharing their experience and trying to keep their own possible future children out from the exploitation.
i’m studying for an exam :)!! thank you for providing such great content, it’s always nice to play while i’m doing coursework ❤️❤️
22:34: I have to comment on this as I can actually relate. Demi is only two years older than me and I dated someone who was 27 when I was 17 (legal age in my country to vote and drink is 18 for reference; 21 for casino).
It might be a cultural thing so I might be misspeaking but I find it ridiculous to believe that while there were some people speaking out against these age gaps, it seemed more acceptable back then. It was not, is not and should never be acceptable for someone well into their 20s to date a teenager (I say well into because I still 18 and 20 isn't bad).
I cleaned my entire place while listening to ur videos. Keeps me calm. Thanks lovie
These videos are incredible. Adore them, thank you for all the passion, research and time into them it shows they are incredible. Interested for more 💛
I love your voice and I'm not surprised people have you running in the background. I actually didn't think I would make it through the whole video, but it wasn't hard at all. Great work!!
I was taking care of our brand new, 8 week old, French bulldog puppy. While washing the bedding, cleaning the house, and getting ready to take my twin 14 year old girls out to Ulta to go shopping!!
Demi has always been a favorite of mine! She is sooooo talented and troubled. I hope she finds some peace in her life. I think she needs some spiritual healing.
I was running errands while having you play in the background!
YOUR HAIR!! You look gorgeous omg 😭💗