As children my brothers and I had chores to do. My one brother kept breaking things when it was his turn to wash the dishes. My other brother and I couldn't understand how one could not wash dishes without breaking them. And then my Mom said that he didn't have to wash dishes anymore. So my other brother and I then had his extra chore to do. Thanks Lee, now i understand his manipulation.
I was getting my luggage and 3 kids as well for a roadtrip. My narc ex just sat on the edge of bed, staring into space like a deer. Bambi just expected me to take care of him like one of the children, like I was his mom 😮😅😂
So glad I viewed one of your shorts- it made my situation so clear! Over the last 12 hours I’ve listened to many of your episodes and I’m ready to walk away! IT IS TIME!
Being with my narcissistic ex was like watching the Other Mother (from Coraline) unravel. It was like seeing bits of him flake away, become something he wasn’t, until an entirely new person-a person driven by ego, who couldn’t sit still for more than three seconds, who couldn’t even put the phone down long enough to have a conversation when our relationship was on the rock-underneath. Like I was looking at a complete stranger.
You know what, you made me just work something out about my most recent latest ex narc from... 2 years ago we split up, but continued seeing each other as part of a confusing, conflicting roller coaster situationship for the last 2 years, yet never going anywhere.... One of the reasons from the beginning he would always treat me badly & never socialise with me or my friends or family properly whenever I'd invite him out.. was because he'd always go on about his mother being a terrible cook. What did it have to do with me or my family & friends? I'm part Italian, cooking for large quantities of guests at dinner parties is part of my heritage. I felt insulted he never respected my cooking & my family's cooking when it's part of my heritage to be a hostess with the mostest for my guests, the same for my family. I've literally helped various different friends including one of my Italian exes to become millionaires because I gave them business advice. What did I get out of it, nothing. Your video helped me work it out. I asked him why his mum never did any cooking courses if she was so terrible at cooking. He said he didn't know, his dad cooked everything. The same dad he also told me threw plates against the wall. I think it's possible after that incident his mum decided to never cook for their family ever again, feminist style. Anyhow. I'm not his mum, I never met any of them & good luck to the lot of them. ✌️
I need you to really stop describing my ex to a T!! His favorite 3 words was I Don’t Know! Then got mad when I would tell him to figure it out. I’m so thankful for all of your videos because it just assures me that I could Never go back no matter what! Thank you!!
I just found you and subbed! Weaponized Incompetence is something I hadn't heard of until I clicked on this! This is something that I have been through! I still go through it!
You have shown me that narcs tell on themselves, and this is one way my ex did. He showed me many ways he got out of accountability by playing dumb, from getting out of tickets to dealing with his ex-wife or children with her, or tasks at work. But I would rarely see it when he did the same with me. 😢
Lol my ex narc used to do this shit to me all the time! Fill this out for me, when its literally all personal infor about him. I couldnt fill it out without asking him all the questions. He may as well have done it himself. Or he would tell me to hook up the Apple Tv because he didn't know how. Like how do you have all this education and are in a leadership position and dont know how to connect two cables? He would always do this on purpose just so I could do something for HIM. Especially when I was busy doing my school work or busy doing something with my kids. SMH. I'm so glad I'm out of that mess!
I'm a single mum looking after 3 kids & he was trying to tell me how I should raise my kids hahaha like whatever looser he dosnt even have kids of his own & here he is telling me what to do. I'm getn compliments from other people that I'm a great mum & I'm a independent person. Showing jealousy right there.
At work, its the Schmooze First: "Yes, but you do it so well ..." "And its soooo hard" "Pleeeeease" So that you will do it for them the first time (1). (2) The second time: They have no time. They have such an important deadline. Can you do it ? Pretty please ?? (3) The third time "But is YOUR JOB... YOU always have done it" "You try to make me do your work" ... Supervisoooooooorrr
I think they do that sometimes, Lee, just to get extra attention. My covert husband won’t learn tech,(he won’t own a cell phone, or email address). But then he bothers me a lot of help, with simple tasks. I feel he does it for attention.
Or they'll do the chore wrong (on purpose) and then when you bring it to their attention, they use that as an opportunity to argue, or say you're ungrateful, or call you names, or use that as an excuse to justify something bad that they've done.
While wrapping gifts, my husband used to say, "oh.......you do this so much better than me" in order to get me to.do that. After getting a gift wrapped, he would then let me know what was unsatisfactory about the wrapping job to him, "oh, why didn't you put a bow on there?" or " if I did the wrapping, I would have done a neater job". Finalky, after many years, I just stopped purchasing gifts for everyone.
When I asked him to go on a deputation only for a year to save up money for our young family, he turned around and said,why don't you become the bread winner for a change 😢 I was a young mom handling two toddlers the whole day. Not to mention how he made sure once married, I wouldn't finish my masters degree. Pure evil!
I was dealing with a narc who didn't want a relationship with me but did abuse me, wanted to dominate me, traumatize me, traumabonded me, stalked me, smeared me and now married someone else. I'm having a tough time that he married someone else. I feel worthless and ugly, also because my family isn't supportive either (when I feel bad, they walk away or they insult me). The narcissist also told he couldn't wait to be with someone so he could rub it in my face, that I was an idiot, that I'm this, that (I don't even want to typ it). I'm so damaged, I probably can't attract a man who wants to be with someone so damaged. I know I have to build myself up but sometimes it's hard, everyone needs someone who tells them the opposite. I just don't see my future as bright, who wants to be with someone so damaged and hurt
You should be happy he did leave you. I wouldn't even bother wanting to be in a relationship with another man. They are all on the narcissistic scale just less than others. They basically all do this same crap. Just stay away from these king man babies. You need to love yourself also. Start putting yourself first and doing things for you. Forget dating. Write a list of all the horrible things he does or has done. You'll remember all the reasons why you want to stay away from him. He's literally going to do the same things to his new wife. They reel the woman in first and then slowly start the cycle of abuse when they're trapped. You don't want to be her.
That's their goal - to keep you alone and "theirs" forever. Don't fall for it. We have to be very careful, but there are good men out there. Don't give up
Mr Hammock 😂 I'm laughing cuz ur right I had 2 teenagers at the time so to make things easier I would cook in my crockpot my ex used to tell me because I wouldn't cook on the stove that I wasn't really cooking I still continued to use my crockpot. How is cooking In a crockpot not cooking
Its funny because they can get mad at your picky ways of wanting things done you do or want them to do if they do it but yet they tell you your incompetent when you ask them how do they want you to do something because you dont want them to get mad or get on to you. Like at your house where they visit they want to throw out ideas of wanting to remodeling or re arrange to their liking and get mad you dont want that and tell you they will do it anyway. But yet you tell them you cant choose things at their place and they got nothing to say to that. Now glad i live alone and not with this lying abusive woman.
My ex used to do that to get me to cook more. But if he didn't want me to touch anything of his such has washing his clothes he told me to not do his laundry anymore. He'll do it himself.
My ex-husband was an intermittent stay-at-home bum. 😂😂😂😂 He didn’t clean up most of the time. I had to ask for help sometimes. He would say “But it is mostly your stuff!” which was a lie. He still didn’t clean a toilet or sink. Other times, I’ll get tired of seeing the kitchen a mess or the trash can full and I would take care of it. Meanwhile, he used to play video games, sleep, and/or watch porn during the times he was unemployed. I’m glad I left him. 😅😮💨
My ex works from home, but she's just like this. Attractive but nasty AF .......I have never seen anything like it. She literally won't clean up for weeks at a time.
Women are taught from a child age that we have to do everything We are taught we are a GOOD girl for putting up with garbage, he or she is a SAINT It will never end
Hi there! Just watched a few of your videos and really learning about my mistakes in a relationship w an avoidant narcissist partner. Would love your advice on this and if I’m wasting my time. My problem is when he’s avoiding me I’m assuming he’s over the relationship and I end things or ask him if he wants to leave. This was his last text to me…do you think there’s still hope? “I didn't say i wanted u out u said that I never said stop texting me or any of that U said that all by urself I think we need to just give each other a break for a bit after this one honestly now cuz I d9nt want either of us getting upset at each other it's unnecessary TTYL” Is he just wanting to leave or should I give this relationship another chance. As a narcissist would love how you think I should handle this situation or any tips advice. TIA!!
I hate to seem like I am defending narcissists because I am not... but a lot of people have very specific ways they like things done and if that's you, why not do it yourself? If people accepted that people do things differently, working together would be easier. But I have countless examples where people feel like their way is the RIGHT way and any way someone else does it is incompetent...I let those kinds of people complain about me because if you're going to complain NO MATTER WHAT then complain AND fold the clothes the way you like ... If you're a boss and you're in a position to order someone to do something exactly how you want that's different... but the rest of the people who are like that need to find something better to do.
WORKSHOP mentalhealness1on1perspective.as.me/schedule/ec588030/?appointmentTypeIds[]=63686974
As children my brothers and I had chores to do. My one brother kept breaking things when it was his turn to wash the dishes. My other brother and I couldn't understand how one could not wash dishes without breaking them. And then my Mom said that he didn't have to wash dishes anymore. So my other brother and I then had his extra chore to do.
Thanks Lee, now i understand his manipulation.
For me he pretended not to know how to change to be better. He pretended not to know how to treat me correctly (even tho he knew). 😅
I was getting my luggage and 3 kids as well for a roadtrip. My narc ex just sat on the edge of bed, staring into space like a deer. Bambi just expected me to take care of him like one of the children, like I was his mom 😮😅😂
😂😂
🤣Bambi❤ it. 😂😂
So glad I viewed one of your shorts- it made my situation so clear! Over the last 12 hours I’ve listened to many of your episodes and I’m ready to walk away! IT IS TIME!
I wish you strength in that! Good luck and peace to your future! ❤🎉
Stay Safe when you walk away 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Yes leave now....
Wishing you all the best on your new life!
Being with my narcissistic ex was like watching the Other Mother (from Coraline) unravel. It was like seeing bits of him flake away, become something he wasn’t, until an entirely new person-a person driven by ego, who couldn’t sit still for more than three seconds, who couldn’t even put the phone down long enough to have a conversation when our relationship was on the rock-underneath. Like I was looking at a complete stranger.
Yes, I was told when I ask the Narc to cook dinner. He said if I cook you will never ask me again.
Wow
You know what, you made me just work something out about my most recent latest ex narc from... 2 years ago we split up, but continued seeing each other as part of a confusing, conflicting roller coaster situationship for the last 2 years, yet never going anywhere.... One of the reasons from the beginning he would always treat me badly & never socialise with me or my friends or family properly whenever I'd invite him out.. was because he'd always go on about his mother being a terrible cook. What did it have to do with me or my family & friends? I'm part Italian, cooking for large quantities of guests at dinner parties is part of my heritage. I felt insulted he never respected my cooking & my family's cooking when it's part of my heritage to be a hostess with the mostest for my guests, the same for my family. I've literally helped various different friends including one of my Italian exes to become millionaires because I gave them business advice. What did I get out of it, nothing. Your video helped me work it out. I asked him why his mum never did any cooking courses if she was so terrible at cooking. He said he didn't know, his dad cooked everything. The same dad he also told me threw plates against the wall. I think it's possible after that incident his mum decided to never cook for their family ever again, feminist style.
Anyhow. I'm not his mum, I never met any of them & good luck to the lot of them. ✌️
"Stay at home bum" LMAO!!!😆😆😆
😂😂😂
Have you been living in my house? Oh my gosh, the exact words!
😫
So true , and everything gotta be in my name
This is so true! My ex did that all the time, especially when it came to diapers. It was so frustrating 😤
I need you to really stop describing my ex to a T!! His favorite 3 words was I Don’t Know! Then got mad when I would tell him to figure it out. I’m so thankful for all of your videos because it just assures me that I could Never go back no matter what! Thank you!!
Yup this episode explains one of their mental games to the T.
🙌🏾🙌🏾
My Narrcissit would pretend to be "Sick" to get out of things. Especially work.
I just found you and subbed! Weaponized Incompetence is something I hadn't heard of until I clicked on this! This is something that I have been through! I still go through it!
Awesome! Thank you! Stay strong
You have shown me that narcs tell on themselves, and this is one way my ex did.
He showed me many ways he got out of accountability by playing dumb, from getting out of tickets to dealing with his ex-wife or children with her, or tasks at work. But I would rarely see it when he did the same with me. 😢
Lol my ex narc used to do this shit to me all the time! Fill this out for me, when its literally all personal infor about him. I couldnt fill it out without asking him all the questions. He may as well have done it himself. Or he would tell me to hook up the Apple Tv because he didn't know how. Like how do you have all this education and are in a leadership position and dont know how to connect two cables? He would always do this on purpose just so I could do something for HIM. Especially when I was busy doing my school work or busy doing something with my kids. SMH. I'm so glad I'm out of that mess!
I'm a single mum looking after 3 kids & he was trying to tell me how I should raise my kids hahaha like whatever looser he dosnt even have kids of his own & here he is telling me what to do. I'm getn compliments from other people that I'm a great mum & I'm a independent person.
Showing jealousy right there.
At work, its the Schmooze First: "Yes, but you do it so well ..." "And its soooo hard" "Pleeeeease"
So that you will do it for them the first time (1).
(2) The second time: They have no time. They have such an important deadline. Can you do it ? Pretty please ??
(3) The third time "But is YOUR JOB... YOU always have done it" "You try to make me do your work" ... Supervisoooooooorrr
yep
My ex was far beyond that. He just said „I do not do such work. It is under my position.“
That’s how mine was! Disgusting.
Hi Lee 😂 your absolutely right again ❤ ty for sharing..
You are so welcome
True, they've * even made bad tea, coffee and cocoa to stop you asking.
I think they do that sometimes, Lee, just to get extra attention. My covert husband won’t learn tech,(he won’t own a cell phone, or email address). But then he bothers me a lot of help, with simple tasks. I feel he does it for attention.
He says he doesn’t know how to use the washing machine and he can’t dress the children because he doesn’t know where the clothes are kept
Or they'll do the chore wrong (on purpose) and then when you bring it to their attention, they use that as an opportunity to argue, or say you're ungrateful, or call you names, or use that as an excuse to justify something bad that they've done.
While wrapping gifts, my husband used to say, "oh.......you do this so much better than me" in order to get me to.do that. After getting a gift wrapped, he would then let me know what was unsatisfactory about the wrapping job to him, "oh, why didn't you put a bow on there?" or " if I did the wrapping, I would have done a neater job". Finalky, after many years, I just stopped purchasing gifts for everyone.
😂 No more gifts. Period. 😅
Refuse to pick up the slack of the narcissists bs. You are NOT their mother/father!
Facts
When I asked him to go on a deputation only for a year to save up money for our young family, he turned around and said,why don't you become the bread winner for a change 😢 I was a young mom handling two toddlers the whole day. Not to mention how he made sure once married, I wouldn't finish my masters degree. Pure evil!
Hahahaha they can try play dumb and control me but it won't work 🤣🤣🤣
😂😅
It did work for 18 years..but the last 2...I told him to F off on the daily😂😂
I was dealing with a narc who didn't want a relationship with me but did abuse me, wanted to dominate me, traumatize me, traumabonded me, stalked me, smeared me and now married someone else. I'm having a tough time that he married someone else. I feel worthless and ugly, also because my family isn't supportive either (when I feel bad, they walk away or they insult me). The narcissist also told he couldn't wait to be with someone so he could rub it in my face, that I was an idiot, that I'm this, that (I don't even want to typ it). I'm so damaged, I probably can't attract a man who wants to be with someone so damaged. I know I have to build myself up but sometimes it's hard, everyone needs someone who tells them the opposite. I just don't see my future as bright, who wants to be with someone so damaged and hurt
stay empowered
Sending ❤ to you
You should be happy he did leave you. I wouldn't even bother wanting to be in a relationship with another man. They are all on the narcissistic scale just less than others. They basically all do this same crap. Just stay away from these king man babies.
You need to love yourself also. Start putting yourself first and doing things for you. Forget dating. Write a list of all the horrible things he does or has done. You'll remember all the reasons why you want to stay away from him. He's literally going to do the same things to his new wife. They reel the woman in first and then slowly start the cycle of abuse when they're trapped. You don't want to be her.
You are not damaged or broken. He was projecting his feelings about himself onto you. Always remember that whatever they try to tear you down.
That's their goal - to keep you alone and "theirs" forever.
Don't fall for it. We have to be very careful, but there are good men out there. Don't give up
Mr Hammock
😂 I'm laughing cuz ur right I had 2 teenagers at the time so to make things easier I would cook in my crockpot my ex used to tell me because I wouldn't cook on the stove that I wasn't really cooking I still continued to use my crockpot.
How is cooking In a crockpot not cooking
😂
Its funny because they can get mad at your picky ways of wanting things done you do or want them to do if they do it but yet they tell you your incompetent when you ask them how do they want you to do something because you dont want them to get mad or get on to you. Like at your house where they visit they want to throw out ideas of wanting to remodeling or re arrange to their liking and get mad you dont want that and tell you they will do it anyway. But yet you tell them you cant choose things at their place and they got nothing to say to that. Now glad i live alone and not with this lying abusive woman.
My ex used to do that to get me to cook more. But if he didn't want me to touch anything of his such has washing his clothes he told me to not do his laundry anymore. He'll do it himself.
My ex-husband was an intermittent stay-at-home bum. 😂😂😂😂 He didn’t clean up most of the time. I had to ask for help sometimes. He would say “But it is mostly your stuff!” which was a lie. He still didn’t clean a toilet or sink. Other times, I’ll get tired of seeing the kitchen a mess or the trash can full and I would take care of it. Meanwhile, he used to play video games, sleep, and/or watch porn during the times he was unemployed. I’m glad I left him. 😅😮💨
My ex works from home, but she's just like this. Attractive but nasty AF .......I have never seen anything like it. She literally won't clean up for weeks at a time.
😢ugg, 🤔🤢🤮
Then wonders why I don't let our daughter near him.....
I enjoyed the video ❤
Women are taught from a child age that we have to do everything
We are taught we are a GOOD girl for putting up with garbage, he or she is a SAINT
It will never end
''I love you puppy'' Lmbao. 🐩.
My covert narcissist girlfriend tells me to go find another girlfriend and after she says she doesn't believe me that im single
😂😂 lol she said that because ,she has a dirty little secret believe me
Yep and didnt pay for shot
Hi there! Just watched a few of your videos and really learning about my mistakes in a relationship w an avoidant narcissist partner. Would love your advice on this and if I’m wasting my time. My problem is when he’s avoiding me I’m assuming he’s over the relationship and I end things or ask him if he wants to leave. This was his last text to me…do you think there’s still hope?
“I didn't say i wanted u out u said that
I never said stop texting me or any of that
U said that all by urself
I think we need to just give each other a break for a bit after this one honestly now cuz I d9nt want either of us getting upset at each other it's unnecessary TTYL”
Is he just wanting to leave or should I give this relationship another chance. As a narcissist would love how you think I should handle this situation or any tips advice. TIA!!
He house wife 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 🦍🦍 my ex 🤦🏾🤦🏾🤭🤭🤭have fun with your bm🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭😊😊😊😊✌🏾✌🏾
🤭
Why the puppet have to be ugly and scary 😅. I want mine to be cute. Like a puppy puppet. At least let us be cute!
😫🤭🤭🤭
🫶👍🤍
💜
I don't care 💅🏾💅🏾
👀
Lmao
Where is the lie??👀😩😮💨🫠
👀
My ex
I hate to seem like I am defending narcissists because I am not... but a lot of people have very specific ways they like things done and if that's you, why not do it yourself? If people accepted that people do things differently, working together would be easier. But I have countless examples where people feel like their way is the RIGHT way and any way someone else does it is incompetent...I let those kinds of people complain about me because if you're going to complain NO MATTER WHAT then complain AND fold the clothes the way you like ... If you're a boss and you're in a position to order someone to do something exactly how you want that's different... but the rest of the people who are like that need to find something better to do.
That was a quick 13 minutes. ITS A GOOD THING WE KEEPING A CLOSE EYE 👁️ ON YOU ❤
😮💨🤭