8 Signs It's Obsession, NOT Love

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  • Опубліковано 27 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 932

  • @Psych2go
    @Psych2go  2 роки тому +893

    Did you recently get confessed to and you are not sure if they are simply just obsessed?

    • @sunsetfloralls1195
      @sunsetfloralls1195 2 роки тому +14

      Hey can u please make a video about questions you can ask your crush (classmate) on text? Since its pandemic 😊

    • @ANNIE-lk9es
      @ANNIE-lk9es 2 роки тому +8

      Yes, 😔

    • @lmyourson
      @lmyourson 2 роки тому +16

      Nope, she said she loved me so much that she wants to go to my house to kidnap me and take me to her house 👍😀

    • @jaladhipatel6008
      @jaladhipatel6008 2 роки тому +7

      I did get confessed to, 3 times this week but I didn’t really know any of them that well. I’m pretty sure they are obsessed with me….

    • @Cynthia_LU
      @Cynthia_LU 2 роки тому +7

      My bff confesed to my brother who years older than her like 7 or 8 years older

  • @kenrickbautista6141
    @kenrickbautista6141 2 роки тому +2332

    Now I see one of the real reasons why I'm still single and why I fail to get a girl: sometimes, I ask myself- "am I really in-love with that person? Or am I just obsessed?".

    • @unknownwaccoon6559
      @unknownwaccoon6559 2 роки тому +87

      Don't we all😔😔. But in my opinion if it's like a type of obsession crush then it won't last long. If you're more curious and not so obsessed and they make you feel different and it lasts a long time then it isn't an obsession, not really a crush either if you understand.
      Trust me, I know.

    • @Jackgritty28
      @Jackgritty28 2 роки тому +23

      Obsessed with love,I doubt it,accept responsibility if your at fault,a partner shouldn't be treated like a possession,ignore this at your peril,a control freak isn't respected,reassess your choice of partner if their not reciprocating,it's all about the finances,don't rush to get married,behaviour could be a red flag,you need consent to touch someone,you don't need drama or scandal❌♑

    • @schere1721
      @schere1721 2 роки тому +5

      @@unknownwaccoon6559 have had an obsessive crush for over a year now

    • @unknownwaccoon6559
      @unknownwaccoon6559 2 роки тому +5

      @@schere1721 Sheeesh. Hmmm....

    • @karatecow99
      @karatecow99 2 роки тому +12

      Having the same realizations. Sucks.

  • @loner8713
    @loner8713 2 роки тому +293

    A friend once told me that, "if they love you, you won't be confused."

    • @catpawbuddy9272
      @catpawbuddy9272 Рік тому +9

      Omg that hit deeeep

    • @Alex_le_robloxian
      @Alex_le_robloxian Рік тому +1

      Man..I wish I knew it sooner though-

    • @CitiesOfAsh
      @CitiesOfAsh Рік тому +3

      Love isnt confusing? Lol what rom com did you base this theory from?

    • @justanotherrandomtogruta3737
      @justanotherrandomtogruta3737 9 місяців тому

      ​@CitiesOfAsh
      My guy so much goes into love so ofc some lines will be blur

    • @MissLarentia
      @MissLarentia 7 місяців тому

      That was indeed the point of this comment. If you are confused, it is not love but obsession ​@@CitiesOfAsh

  • @hmm1019
    @hmm1019 2 роки тому +2058

    0:53 threatened by independence
    1:36 boundaries are ignored
    2:16 extremely controlling behaviour
    2:52 not engaging in other activities
    3:37 blocking out others
    4:13 moving too fast in the relationship
    4:56 demanding constant contact
    5:36 tracking without consent
    Thanks for the likes yall ♥️!!! hope ure hving a good day :))

    • @t_raumatize
      @t_raumatize 2 роки тому +2

      @sitiy "22" LOLL PFHAGAGAF

    • @lukamodric7
      @lukamodric7 2 роки тому +6

      @ItsuX_ you got this!! Be yourself, give them their space, don't be touchy lol and just be in the moment. Don't worry about what's going to happen or what happened just thrive in that moment with your crush :)

    • @saloni22815
      @saloni22815 2 роки тому

      Y

    • @sleepingcinderella
      @sleepingcinderella 2 роки тому +2

      My ex did all of this.

    • @amityohcramity1326
      @amityohcramity1326 2 роки тому +6

      Marinette needs to see this😂😂

  • @improvementspace9632
    @improvementspace9632 2 роки тому +813

    In a healthy relationship, both partners will be able to voice their feelings and the anxiety should go away over time. But if the anxiety still persists, experts say it may not be love but obsession.

    • @bc.relationships
      @bc.relationships 2 роки тому +45

      Oooo yes, love this!! Healthy love should produce confidence and security, not anxiety. Thanks for sharing!!

    • @TuPapa...
      @TuPapa... Рік тому +1

      666 likes

  • @gurudra
    @gurudra 2 роки тому +1232

    Love is mistaken for many negative things today like obsession, lust, attachment🙏

    • @angeline8157
      @angeline8157 2 роки тому +27

      @sitiy "22" the butter reference tho 😭😭😭😭😭😭

    • @cherrysprinkles1311
      @cherrysprinkles1311 2 роки тому +8

      @sitiy "22" yo leave them alone

    • @cherrysprinkles1311
      @cherrysprinkles1311 2 роки тому +48

      So true, the word love is so overused it has lost it's meaning and importance now.

    • @pogikoshet9351
      @pogikoshet9351 2 роки тому +3

      How do you define love?

    • @therealmomo8033
      @therealmomo8033 2 роки тому +2

      @@cherrysprinkles1311 it really hasn't

  • @curlypuff
    @curlypuff 2 роки тому +551

    I have sadly done a lot of these things 😔 emotional regulation is also super important, if you start feeling jealous or alone, anxious, sad, etc you have to be able to help yourself through these emotions instead of taking it out on your partner. That was my biggest problem, I never wanted to isolate them from their friends but my insecurities and jealousy was so hard for me to deal with it's what ended up happening because of my emotional outbursts 😔 When you're a very emotional, passionate person it can hard to deal with things. Just remember your partner has feelings too, and they care about you (hopefully lol)

    • @bc.relationships
      @bc.relationships 2 роки тому +40

      The fact that you're able to recognize these things in yourself and are willing to share about it, is so so powerful and mature!! Recognizing the role we play in creating healthy relationships can be really hard to own up to sometimes, so I'm so proud of you for taking that first step. Some encouragement to you: even though our culture places so much focus on relationships, the reality is that your value and identity is not determined by your relationship status. I hope that this truth can lead you into feeling more confident in your worth whether you're single or in a relationship. Rooting for you

    • @JasmineBM913
      @JasmineBM913 2 роки тому +29

      I was getting a little scared throughout the video because I feel like I do some of these things also, I don’t want to be that type of partner. You’re completely right about this being something we have to work on ourselves and not take it out on them .

    • @val77701
      @val77701 2 роки тому

      Hey. Same here!

    • @RenMasao
      @RenMasao 2 роки тому +4

      Did you find a way to control those emotional outbursts and bad feeling somehow? I would love to learn how to control that instead of trying to ignore everything until everything bursts out in emotions and end in an argument.

    • @hardcoregaming574
      @hardcoregaming574 2 роки тому +2

      @@RenMasao same i wanna know how too

  • @reirei135
    @reirei135 2 роки тому +50

    I had a crush on a guy for 3 years, and was deathly afraid of even letting myself *think* "I love him" because I was so worried it was infatuation. After I confessed to him, he rejected me gently, and I was finally able to accept that I do in fact love him, and I'm just glad he still wants to be my friend

    • @sapphireenvy
      @sapphireenvy Рік тому +9

      I’m glad you were still able to be friends and handled this in a healthy way

    • @soulassassin0g
      @soulassassin0g 6 днів тому

      To me a real friend is someone that will call you just to see how you're doing, they're genuinely there for you and will help you when you need it without question. If they're not doing that then what they really meant when they said "I just want to be friends" was "I'm sparing you you're feelings and letting you down gently but to be honest I really don't want anything to do with you. This is goodbye."

    • @reirei135
      @reirei135 5 днів тому

      @@soulassassin0g oh yeah, I completely agree! He's an incredible guy and has been a wonderful friend the entire time I've known him. We don't talk the most often, but whenever we see each other, it's like we pick right up where we left off.

    • @soulassassin0g
      @soulassassin0g 5 днів тому +1

      @@reirei135 If the only time you talk to him is when you guys run into each other then I personally wouldn't consider that a "friend", more like an acquaintance. I'm not trying to change your mind about him but in my opinion it seems like he just wants to move on. Again, this is just my opinion, but I'm speaking from experience and personally, if I were you, I would do the same.

    • @reirei135
      @reirei135 5 днів тому +1

      @soulassassin0g I'm going to be honest, I don't really understand the point of your comment then. I think you're misunderstanding what I said before, and while I'm glad you are willing to share from your own experiences, maybe it's possible that our situations are not the same? My point of sharing my story was to show that sometimes it's easier to clarify your feelings with hindsight, even if there's nothing you can do about it

  • @yuwi.6180
    @yuwi.6180 2 роки тому +164

    8 signs it's obsession not love
    1. threatened by independence
    2. boundaries are ignored
    3. extremely controlling behavior
    4. not engaging in other activities
    5. blocking out others
    6. moving too fast in the relationship
    7. demanding constant contact
    8. tracking without consent

  • @jellybellyjojo
    @jellybellyjojo 2 роки тому +747

    I wish I could say I recognized the signs at the time, but I didn’t. And I got really hurt in the end. I went through a LOT over the few months of my last “situationship 🙄”, but I’m so much better off now and this video really confirmed this for me. Thank you all 🖤

    • @xXDonTdODRugZXx
      @xXDonTdODRugZXx 2 роки тому +5

      Were you the obsessed one or the one being obsessed

    • @paen8547
      @paen8547 2 роки тому +3

      Same.

    • @xx_jackaboy_riot8340
      @xx_jackaboy_riot8340 2 роки тому +2

      me to.

    • @mayaaaa596
      @mayaaaa596 2 роки тому +3

      God bless you dear and dont worry you've got this you'll get through it🤍🤍✨more power to you

    • @NeoGeo822
      @NeoGeo822 2 роки тому +1

      Same, hope life does better for you.

  • @skullycxv2766
    @skullycxv2766 2 роки тому +321

    I’m guilty of a lot of these… especially demanding constant contact. It’s been a lot for my boyfriend and heck, we almost broke up today because of it. I’d never had a boyfriend prior to him so I wasn’t sure how to love.. somehow these videos are helping me become aware of my flaws. Thank you!

    • @chelseagp6134
      @chelseagp6134 2 роки тому +28

      Literally same. Its like this video showed up when I needed to face the facts the most. Cant deal with the situation until you know that u are doing it

    • @smugkitt3n
      @smugkitt3n 2 роки тому +9

      Thank you two for not ignoring it! It takes a lot to come up and try to stop it!

    • @pixie_skies444
      @pixie_skies444 2 роки тому +11

      I used to be like this as well but I lost him before realizing I was obsessed. I'm so grateful I've learned how to recognize my behavior and change! :)

    • @sanjuktamitra9079
      @sanjuktamitra9079 2 роки тому +2

      I relate with you ❤

    • @Ang3la990s
      @Ang3la990s 2 роки тому

      Damn you can't handle a relationship....like literally actually.

  • @jamoan123
    @jamoan123 2 роки тому +64

    I was in a relationship with a cheater and liar. I loved and didn’t want to give up even though they hurt me. I tried to continue with the relationship however it made me feel extremely insecure and obsessed. It was not a healthy relationship and it took a lot of strength in me to leave. I am glad I left. When you find the right one, you don’t have to worry about these things because he/she will make you feel comfortable, safe and secure. I hope you guys can find this kind of love and are strong enough to get out of these toxic relationships.

  • @N_Y_G_G
    @N_Y_G_G Рік тому +8

    "Love involved patience" is just an amazing sentence 💖

  • @thechancellor-
    @thechancellor- 2 роки тому +70

    To the *worthwhile person* seeing this, Love ❤️ is the greatest. Don’t allow the past and current pains and hurts stop and define you. Rise up and put yourself together. Keep pushing your future depends on it. I wish you all the best in life ❤️.

    • @tracysiwa8031
      @tracysiwa8031 2 роки тому +3

      The video plus this comment is literally helpful for me... thank you 🙏

  • @Jessicamoon2130
    @Jessicamoon2130 2 роки тому +62

    My father shows all these signs towards my mother. I’d like to see a video about the effects of a toxic parental relationship on kids. I know Psych2Go has done videos like that before, but I don’t recall ever seeing a video exclusively about how a bad relationship between parents affects their kids

    • @JessieArt
      @JessieArt 2 роки тому +4

      Agreed I’d love to see this!!

  • @overnine0007
    @overnine0007 2 роки тому +129

    Wow... that describes a ex-friend of mine perfectly... she was the mother of guild-tripping, gaslighting, demanding and controlling. For example: She used to become really angry when I did not write her first or if I did not write her for two days. It was awful. I shut down our friendship after roughly a year and thought that I was simply the problem and could not have friendships with other women. So I stayed away from close friendships with other women for years and sabotaged myself when it came to girls that showed interest in me. And as a woman I surely missed something for almost a decade. Now I finally have female friends that are uncomplicated, nice and lovely. They dont shame me if we dont talk for a few days or if they have to write first. Everyone has their own life. They love me unconditionally and that's all that matters. ♡

    • @user-hj1ld4nc3j
      @user-hj1ld4nc3j 2 роки тому +3

      @exe thats what she said

    • @Ryquard1
      @Ryquard1 2 роки тому +4

      so glad that you found a good support group and real friends

    • @haileynichelle8343
      @haileynichelle8343 2 роки тому +2

      How did you find these lovely friends?

    • @overnine0007
      @overnine0007 2 роки тому +2

      @@haileynichelle8343 they just popped up. We all started to attend school again at the same time. The odds were in our favor I guess.

    • @tidepodpadthai2633
      @tidepodpadthai2633 2 роки тому +1

      I mean you shouldn't be ignoring friends for that long so

  • @macadamia668
    @macadamia668 2 роки тому +54

    My ex was basically an example of someone rather obsessed than loving.
    She proclaims to be "in love" and loves spending time with me. However, never respected my space, never seems to really let me talk or express my concerns or worries. Always insecure of me leaving her. And let alone always (and I do mean Always) cries to me when I am absolutely busy and working my way up in my career. Thank God it only lasted for a few months. Cause she would of held me down.
    If someone loves you, they would want the best for you and from you. They would be supportive and aware of their actions. They would even work on themselves and try to be the best they can be for the relationship.

  • @flienier1072
    @flienier1072 2 роки тому +209

    Im obsessed with this channel. You guys teach me SOOOOOO much information! Thanks you for keeping us educated 😊

  • @bc.relationships
    @bc.relationships 2 роки тому +89

    This is so so important, especially for teenagers and young adults!! So often in media, obsessive behaviors are played off as being romantic and passionate, when in reality they can be unhealthy and dangerous. It is possible to have a passionate, exciting relationship while also respecting each other's independence and boundaries!!

    • @sonariorigoni1669
      @sonariorigoni1669 2 роки тому

      Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together. and if you need any kind of help he can help you.

    • @sonariorigoni1669
      @sonariorigoni1669 2 роки тому

      Wha'tsapp him for help

    • @animelovergirl8461
      @animelovergirl8461 2 роки тому

      @@sonariorigoni1669 Just curious are you a scammer or just a bypasser? 🤔

  • @emmathompson6470
    @emmathompson6470 2 роки тому +74

    Describes my first husband perfectly. I knew something was off but could never articulate it because I was only 18

    • @bcoyblevins
      @bcoyblevins 2 роки тому +3

      Same with me. If I would try to articulate it or process it I would end up confused because he would make me feel like I was a terrible person if I didn't want to continue the relationship. This went on for 20 years....

    • @shahrishinamdar1918
      @shahrishinamdar1918 Місяць тому

      Same... I was 19 though and got divorced within the next year...

  • @matusalaalemseged6671
    @matusalaalemseged6671 Місяць тому +3

    Trust your gut. If you see bs at the start, there is no guarantee that it will change. Never justify!

  • @talytsu9409
    @talytsu9409 Рік тому +2

    just discovered i was obsessed, i dont know how to feel because i have been with a highly obsessed person for years , now i am with someone that is healthy mentally and has their own life and my heart always hurt when i think about it…

  • @cypher7648
    @cypher7648 2 роки тому +231

    Sounds like all the reasons right down to the tracking, why I am trying to end my sadly unhealthy relationship. Your videos are so simple (yet deep) and have helped me through some rough times, thank you again for another wonderful video! And if anyone has any healthy advice please reply!

    • @bc.relationships
      @bc.relationships 2 роки тому +18

      Hi!! The fact that you're seeking out advice from great channels like Psych2go is already a sign that you're on the right track!! Just some encouragement to you, it's definitely okay to have mixed feelings about ending an unhealthy relationship. Sometimes our emotions don't line up with what we know is right for us. So if you still have feelings for someone even though they don't treat you right, just know that you're not messed up for feeling that way. But every time you choose what's healthy for you, that's affirming your self-worth and value. You deserve to have healthy, safe, strong relationships. Rooting for you

  • @KhaosInductionCreator
    @KhaosInductionCreator 2 роки тому +33

    The tracking one isn’t always obsession. Sometimes it’s a huge trust issue. Someone with big trust issues might not trust them, so they make sure they aren’t at another person’s house for an extended period of time.
    Now I’ve never been in a relationship, but I know that trust issues can lead to this

    • @RUKSSHIslam
      @RUKSSHIslam 2 роки тому +1

      True

    • @KariN-rt1ok
      @KariN-rt1ok 2 роки тому +6

      yeah, of course but it isn't healthy either. It's rather a very extreme "solution" and doesn't end the root insecurity

    • @twigsno
      @twigsno 6 місяців тому +1

      That doesn't matter? It's still EXTREMELY abusive behaviour. Plus if you're so obsessed with where they are it is still am obsession.

    • @GeidbdevcBeheh
      @GeidbdevcBeheh Місяць тому

      ​@@twigsno it's not abuse. Abuse is very extreme thing. Don't call everyone small things as abuse. I agree it's wrong very wrong but not abuse

  • @jasjas8232
    @jasjas8232 2 роки тому +12

    If your partner cheats and lies leave or this becomes you out of pure insecurity. I loved but I was definitely obsessed too.

  • @antoniusp3295
    @antoniusp3295 2 роки тому +27

    I've seen a lot of this happen in friends' relationships.
    One of the cardinal reasons why I tell people to avoid the jealous types.

  • @karoshi2
    @karoshi2 2 роки тому +18

    Really helps to hear that. I'm out of that relationship for a while now, but am still thinking about who was right with that. Especially as there was quite a bit of support for my ex's point of view out there.
    Nowadays I feel less strangely dismissive for not wanting to be controlled.
    So thanks, Psych2Go, you guys really helped through a tough time! 😘

  • @etrevil
    @etrevil 2 роки тому +9

    Love is fangirling about the artist who drew all the handsome manhwa characters

  • @gessysaunders8685
    @gessysaunders8685 2 роки тому +13

    This was like going through my last relationship, each step in the video a step that happened in my life. So happy I am not there anymore. Mental abuse is a very real thing..

  • @KlarissavonNyssen
    @KlarissavonNyssen 2 роки тому +13

    That is actually what I imagine how a toxic relationship is and it is crazy that such relationships exist. I always thought it was a Tiktok thing...

  • @Nintendan95
    @Nintendan95 2 роки тому +16

    I've been pretty excited about this person I've been talking to for some months now because I can tell neither of us are obsessed with each other, and it definitely feels like genuine love. I'm especially happy about that because I found myself obsessed (and what I thought was love at the time) for the first time mid last year, but I can tell this time is the first time I've genuinely felt love.
    And that fact that the other person I'm talking to also isn't obsessed has been extremely attractive to me. Feels like we are on the same wavelength of self-understanding, what a relationship really is, good/bad signs of a relationship etc.

    • @TuPapa...
      @TuPapa... Рік тому

      Your crush watches Psych2Go

    • @sapphireenvy
      @sapphireenvy Рік тому

      I’m so happy for you! Wish you both the best

  • @VeronicaStorm98
    @VeronicaStorm98 2 роки тому +17

    I admit that I have lost friends during middle and elementary school over being too obesssive or posessive. I would get paranoid and overprotective of those who said they were my friend. And for a long time I had no idea that my first crush was a love obsession. I even had a whole plan for a friends to lovers relationship for years. Or maybe its my Aspergers and constant failure at making friends that makes me hold on too tightly to the friends that I do have for fear of losing them.

    • @sapphireenvy
      @sapphireenvy Рік тому +2

      I can relate to this, and i also have autism

  • @melonoire
    @melonoire 2 роки тому +6

    I don't know how many times I've fallen inlove and have been obsessed to someone.

  • @hannilon7215
    @hannilon7215 2 роки тому +15

    I relate to this, I'm obsessive and I'm quite ashamed but it makes me feel good I know it's wrong but I don't know what to do about it

  • @_ALONE4EVER_
    @_ALONE4EVER_ 2 роки тому +9

    I noticed my obsessive behaviour quite early on but I didn’t address it until quite a bit later. It wasn’t severe because it was mainly composed of thoughts, that every now and then takes a bit of action. I usually regret it soon afterwards which has kept me in check most of the times.
    I’ve gotten over my obsession now (I think).
    Nice vid! 👍

  • @TurinBeats
    @TurinBeats 2 роки тому +18

    It's like you read my mind. I really needed this video😩. Thank you❤️💯.
    Lots of Love for you guys❤️

  • @barbaralemons4741
    @barbaralemons4741 2 роки тому +8

    As we have been isolated
    from each other socially ( though for scientifically and medically sound reasons)
    socially isolated
    in a way that is unhealthy
    on many emotional levels,
    it is ever more important
    that we realistically assess ourselves and our perception of others
    before letting what we want to see inform our actions.
    Loneliness is difficult
    but relationship misery is worse.
    Spontaneous
    equal and opposite reaction to one's exact feelings
    is almost never a thing.
    No matter how much we want it to be.
    Literally the odds of love at first sight being mutual and lasting
    are in the range
    of being hit by a meteorite or winning the lottery.
    It happens, but VERY rarely.
    That world altering instant bond
    (that usually isn't instantly mutual,
    and sometimes never becomes so at all)
    involves a subconscious hormone surge
    with some imbedded archetypes from past life experience,
    and self programming through entertainment sources.
    It's wonderful to feel that electric attraction,
    and if we weren't sentient, it would be no problem.
    Offspring would result, just like other mammals.
    But we humans remember the past
    from our own point of view, mostly(and hopefully learn from it),
    and imagine the future ,
    all the while still more or less
    carrying around the scars
    of our unique other-imposed damage
    that colors all our subsequent experiences.
    Sometimes accumulated damage
    of either partner or both is extensive enough
    that it must be confronted and remediated
    before ANY relationship can work.
    People continually grow and change and ideally for the better.
    Someone that seems right for you now,
    will not work out if you are not right with yourself.
    Don't get into a relationship to be saved or absorbed,
    or to completely control another person so you can feel safe,
    or make it impossible for you to be abandoned.
    Those are some of the unrealistic goals that that signal obsession,
    and damage you need to address.
    Mapping the surface of another person
    and calling it good
    without exploring the depths
    of what they are willing and able
    to share with you
    is a recipe for heartbreak if not outright disaster.
    That perfectly fitting two piece puzzle we all crave
    does start with MUTUAL attraction
    but having a loving relationship that succeeds and lasts
    is the result of many ,many pieces, including:
    honest knowledge, acceptance,
    honestly shared worldviews and independent opinions
    and just a few shared interests,
    mutual respect,
    and a shared continuing commitment
    to the long haul
    that wears each other's jagged edges smooth over a period of time.
    to the point where each of you
    knows each other better than anyone ever has or ever will
    but you still prefer each other's company over all other humans.
    It sounds like a lot of work...
    but it will seem like a great adventure
    when you both see a good fit and are willing to put in the work.

    • @wanjohi
      @wanjohi 2 роки тому

      Now this is pure gold. Thank you

  • @paen8547
    @paen8547 2 роки тому +4

    Girl, I swear you read my mind. Yesterday night I talked to a friend about an ex and she told me it was obsession, not love. Then I come here and see this 😔✋

  • @kelvonismo
    @kelvonismo 2 роки тому +16

    this is the exact things that I was going through I'm pretty new to relationships. I always thought that I was the one who can't give my all but it turns out I'm giving my best at the time. I still don't know if my decision to end it was right. really hard for your partner if your obsessing over little things.

  • @chloewilliams341
    @chloewilliams341 2 роки тому +5

    I related to the other perspective and was surprised to see that what I'm feeling might be a "healthier" or more mentally stable love connection 🧡

  • @asriel3564
    @asriel3564 2 роки тому +4

    I realized that I had love that turned into obsession

  • @russell1150
    @russell1150 2 роки тому +38

    Lately I have been feeling a bit obsessive toward a person that I shared a night of intimacy with. It was only a kiss but it was everything that led up to it that made me feel heard, seen, and loved. We have yet to have an honest conversation about that night and I crave clarity and closure. However, he has been very distant, sporadically responsive, and I am the only one who has made an effort to maintain contact. Tonight I read signs that might not have been there. I think I may have overstepped a boundary and I feel guilty about it a little. I didn't do anything too crazy, I just showed up where he was at and asked him if he would let me in so we could talk. He didn't respond to the text though I knew he was in there. I thought he had been watching my story and was tryna see me subliminally, but ig I'm crazy or sumn. Idk why I feel this strongly about someone over a kiss. I just want to know how he feels.

    • @aaronolson6736
      @aaronolson6736 2 роки тому +8

      Sounds like either he is just as unsure and trying to avoid reasoning why or it wasn't a big deal to him.

    • @bc.relationships
      @bc.relationships 2 роки тому +6

      Ahh this is such a tough spot to be in. I've definitely been in a similar situation before :( Especially the whole feeling heard, seen and loved, because those are things we all desire-- so you're not crazy for wanting that and valuing that this person gave you those things-- even if it was only for a little while). At the end of the day though, sometimes feelings and emotions can be misleading and make it more difficult to get clarity on these kinds of situations. My encouragement to you is that you deserve respect and communication-- those are the bare minimums. If someone can't give that to you, that is more of a reflection of their lack of maturity-- whether they're interested in getting to know you more or not. Either way, you are deserving of healthy, safe, strong relationships. Rooting for you

    • @russell1150
      @russell1150 2 роки тому

      @@aaronolson6736 smh

    • @russell1150
      @russell1150 2 роки тому +3

      @@bc.relationships I'm sorry u had to go through something similar. Thank u for ur words of encouragement, I will keep them in mind moving forward!

    • @kita7647
      @kita7647 2 роки тому +1

      I get it.. but people need to stop acting like it's okay. If it happened once and it was a heat of the moment thing, I get it. It still isn't okay to do and people would not be okay with this if reversed, because it's not okay.

  • @SnowyEmber
    @SnowyEmber Рік тому +3

    I have really bad attachment issues. I cried. 💀 I cried so hard when I realized that I'm obsessed and how I'm just hating myself when I'm not with my obsession.

  • @19Greenhelle
    @19Greenhelle 2 роки тому +3

    I needed this so badly. Thank you.

  • @lyre1409
    @lyre1409 2 роки тому +3

    Listen I was starting to experience these symptoms but I was able to realize it was affecting my life so I took the opportunity to tell her I would take a week off from spending time with her. Its already been a week and we hung out again just yesterday. Now that I've seen this video I understand that I've just experienced obsession and now I'm thankful for taking that step to distance myself. Thanks for the video and I'll use this knowledge to help myself with my current relationship with her!

  • @bnm7990
    @bnm7990 2 роки тому +2

    I’m definitely someone who genuinely gets super anxious about my friends, but I’m glad that was the only one I can relate to for this list. I’ve been working on it, checking up on them less, letting them reach out to me first sometimes. It’s definitely helped make me feel less anxious about not talking to them all of the time, but I’m definitely still working on it.

  • @carolinevdvlies6969
    @carolinevdvlies6969 2 роки тому +4

    This happens a lot when you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist. Beware of those dangerous people and don’t ignore the red flags

  • @jack-williamwright8405
    @jack-williamwright8405 2 роки тому +2

    Even after a 3 year relationship, a lot of research has made me realise that I completely and devotedly loved her, but she never loved me, even though she genuinely thought she did. It's a crushing feeling but it does wonders when you do finally realise these kinds of things and know what will actually make you happy
    "This too shall pass" has become my favourite few words to tell myself at any time of hardship.
    Tough times ahead or behind, everyone comes out of it a better person if you just believe you can

  • @mushroomboy.141
    @mushroomboy.141 2 роки тому +5

    I can confidently say; It’s love.

  • @mathie2037
    @mathie2037 2 роки тому +1

    It was obsession not love. 100%.
    Gaslighted.
    Lied to.
    Jealous.
    No respect for boundaries.
    Treated like doormat.
    Guilt tripped
    … but always hovering.

  • @joegould7154
    @joegould7154 2 роки тому +4

    I think it is all about perspective. I unfortunately relate to a few things here but it doesn't come from a place of malice or intent to control.. it goes deeper than that and I definitely think there is more to it

  • @JudionSmith
    @JudionSmith 2 роки тому

    Such profound truth, wisdom and lessons. Obsession is a dangerous thing. Don't be so desperate for love, only to miss the signs...

  • @yumecoups
    @yumecoups 2 роки тому +7

    some people seem like they hid behind the term love cept that theyre obsessed as hell

  • @mae3329
    @mae3329 2 роки тому +2

    didn't realize that at the first place, that obsession is different to love and obsession might be a harmful feeling to others im so glad I clicked this video

  • @tryphenablackwell1047
    @tryphenablackwell1047 2 роки тому +5

    This makes me realize how both me and my ex were obsessed with each other. I think I was more obsessed with the idea of us so when reality set in that wore off and bow I'm happy I decided to end it

  • @JamieWade-p2w
    @JamieWade-p2w 28 днів тому +1

    I feel your video will help me to understand what I am feeling, and help me get my mind under control

  • @stayhappylittlemermaid
    @stayhappylittlemermaid 2 роки тому +3

    Sometimes, in your quest to make everyone else happy, you make yourself miserable.

  • @ep1k_4
    @ep1k_4 4 місяці тому +1

    so... turns out for the past years, every single relationship was me being obsessed? why cannot I feel true love?

  • @abrahamokezie4320
    @abrahamokezie4320 2 роки тому +19

    I think I might have been a little obsessive on someone I love, it's good to realize the harm I've been doing thanks psych2go , ill be a better lover

  • @The-Martian73
    @The-Martian73 7 місяців тому +1

    The voice itself is just so relaxing

  • @enricopucci874
    @enricopucci874 2 роки тому +28

    True love is when you love someone but they don't want to be with you, so you let them go. 🙏
    Obsession is when he or she don't want to be with you but you give them no choice.

    • @kpopcrush3694
      @kpopcrush3694 Рік тому

      I'm suffering from that.... Means I want break up but my bf is not letting me go💀

  • @dhanushraju8528
    @dhanushraju8528 Рік тому +2

    please video on how not to be obsessed and move on when crush rejected

  • @nolgthorn
    @nolgthorn 2 роки тому +6

    I feel as if I might be dealing with an obsessive lover right now (they do a lot of these), but at the same time I'm paranoid that I might just be victimizing myself.

  • @valeriaalonge6182
    @valeriaalonge6182 2 роки тому +3

    I was in a toxic relationship with someone who was/is obsessed with me, we were together for 15 months, I didn't realize it was toxic until it was too late, they used to ask me every 30 minutes what I was doing, and they used to say "if you are talking to [name] you will regret it", I used to always say I wasn't since I knew that they would maybe and most likely hurt them, they never let me do my hobbies without me telling them first even if it was drawing or listening to music, I never left them since I thought it was just protective love, my former friend (now gf) always told me that they were toxic and a bad partner but I was to blind to listen to her no matter what she said, I say sorry to my gf everyday now for that, me and her are in a healthy relationship and check up with each other every few hours and give each other enough space when it's needed
    This video really helped me see how toxic my ex really was, thank you! Have a nice day

  • @sonyatheforestgaurdian3152
    @sonyatheforestgaurdian3152 2 роки тому +5

    7/8 of these line up with my psycho ex. Thank God we broke up and I moved 1700miles away.

  • @URaDing-a-ling
    @URaDing-a-ling 2 роки тому +1

    When u see that absolutely NONE of the crush or love videos applies to u and hasn’t even for the past. And that you’ll be alone for ever 💀

  • @Neddlysan
    @Neddlysan 2 роки тому +4

    I've dealt with a few of these with my most recent partner. At first we never had issues communicating and these things were never a problem per se. We were very much in sync. I never required constant contact and could go days with talking to each other but as time went on we communicated less and it became an issue. We've been through a lot...but recently she realized she likely has adult ADHD. She had mentioned it from time to time but it never really clicked. We both sought therapy respectively. Once I started looking into adult ADHD a lot behaviors began to make sense. Now that I have some understanding it's made some things a bit easier. It's up to her if she wants to pursue seeing a psychiatrist or medication etc.
    But as far as how I react to said behaviors..Well those are things I need to work on from within. I tend to worry about things and often ruminate with negative thoughts about myself and relationships and they in turn amplify my insecurities. Currently working on controlling those thoughts and setting myself free from the mental prisons i create for myself..

  • @poeticjustice144
    @poeticjustice144 Рік тому +1

    For me I did show some signs, but not a significant amount and it was because of being wounded in the past. I believe it's still love and I know I can work on those other things.

  • @chiniromero3870
    @chiniromero3870 2 роки тому +3

    Question is… how do we turn obsession to actual love?

  • @fenderbender6613
    @fenderbender6613 2 роки тому +1

    "If you're a lover you should know the lonely moments just get lonelier the longer you're in love than if you were alone"

  • @ithinkihavethesauce1198
    @ithinkihavethesauce1198 2 роки тому +3

    You came exactly in time it's like you read my mind
    Sigh...from the first minute I knew that this is me. I figured this was the case a few months ago that I was like this so to simply avoid the chaos and Bullcrap I did I simply ran away and well blocked them all for the sake of both them and me. I've never truly felt love that's why external factors just reel me in too quickly. I used to see them (The controlling and sort of regulating behavior) as a sort of Caring type of thing like y'know something someone who cares about you would do...knew how fricked up that was now. I would tell more though I would simply drown deeper into my regret and depression. I am usually at the final Straw though I never find the logical way to why I would end it...I don't know
    I haven't finished the video I just wanted to add these thoughts that are flowing into my head because it's likely I'll forget about them knowing how bad my memory is

  • @miragemain105
    @miragemain105 11 місяців тому +1

    I met someone, she made me happy, eventually, i developed feelings that i admitted to her which only brought pain, despite that i didnt give up, it turned into obsession, she was my friend too but would sometimes flirt and give me the impression she had feelings for me aswell.
    Eventually we stopped talking for some months until she cones back to talk
    Abd we talk, i felt that i had better control over my feelings so i continued and we share more moments where she flirst despite knowing ky feelings and gets my hopes up only to crush them, i hated her so i cut her off
    6 months later and she comes back telling me about her self imposed issues she couldve easily avoided and despite my frustration, i talked, after some weeks i asked her out, she said "yes, but when im ready" which turned out to be a lie... ive gone on a bit but what im saying is, i got obsessed over her and i dont want to be, she doesbt deserve my time, she kept leading me on knowing how i felt, as a friend i listened, i cared and tried to be helpful, when it became all she talked to me about i felt like she made me her therapist more than anything so i got angry and cut her off but i still find myself wishing i didnt even though i know she doesnt give 2 shits about me, i just want her out of my mind
    I genuinely cared about her but i just cant keep doing this, i cut her off for good

  • @chaoticchild1944
    @chaoticchild1944 2 роки тому +3

    STOP BEIN SO RELATABLE 😭😭😭😭

  • @BKing007
    @BKing007 2 роки тому

    What most people in relationships need to watch and understand

  • @jowiens32
    @jowiens32 2 роки тому +9

    Just had to kind of break up with a friend showing all these signs 😪 I’ve lost too many people who started as friends and became obsessive. I miss my friends. So how do we stop choosing people like this as friends!?

  • @EllieAuditore47
    @EllieAuditore47 2 роки тому +1

    When i got separated from my ex i was really Sad, told me i was obsessed, then i see this vídeo Just to Discover that i had genuine love, my ex was the obsessed one, talking about having children, what name i would like, making me feel bad If i dont text as soon as my ex arrive from Work, my ex even got angry when i told we could not have a child because i was too Young for that, dont had a Work and all the other things you need to raise one

  • @skylarblair7055
    @skylarblair7055 2 роки тому +3

    Why so perfect timing

  • @FertileG
    @FertileG 4 місяці тому +1

    Love to me is: Feeling secure 😊
    Obsession to me is: Chasing security 😢

  • @sasgabriela1495
    @sasgabriela1495 2 роки тому +3

    Best educational chanel !

  • @MackClark
    @MackClark 2 роки тому

    And this explains everything. Now the question becomes how to avoid doing the same mistakes again

  • @humairahusnaayob9231
    @humairahusnaayob9231 2 роки тому +4

    Learning psychology with Psych2Go, I think besides the signs, we also need to know why these people become obsessed..

  • @hrrr_-or7ss
    @hrrr_-or7ss 2 роки тому +3

    oh no, my heart. it's brokeeeen.
    ALSO HEYOOO PSCH2GOOhs
    early gang

  • @S1ller_x
    @S1ller_x Рік тому

    I'm so happy I got out of that obsessive relationship, it was really hard for me to go though this, my boundaries were ignored, I wasn't allowed to have a good time with my friends, being alone, having boundaries, or even just simply go out without telling her first, it was hell and Im honestly proud of myself that I found the courage to get out of it.

  • @Zuko_ply
    @Zuko_ply 2 роки тому +3

    Thanks again Phych2Go❤️

  • @lxcciee
    @lxcciee 2 роки тому +1

    it’s weird how this video popped up when I needed it

  • @socialpsychologymantras
    @socialpsychologymantras 2 роки тому +3

    “Thank you for going on this journey through life with me. There is nobody else who I would want by my side but you my angel.” - Unknown

  • @roshni2366
    @roshni2366 2 роки тому +1

    Wish I had seen it before because often we choose the wrong person due to the delusions carried by us and the compulsive need to fulfill our loneliness which requires self love and not abusive relationships

  • @theehalloweenking
    @theehalloweenking 2 роки тому +4

    Would it be considered toxic say if you need a break and your in the middle of an argument, you need a break but they don't want you to leave and want you to comfort them? Or just wanted to be constantly comforted in general.

    • @inesmoncao6631
      @inesmoncao6631 2 роки тому +1

      Yes

    • @theehalloweenking
      @theehalloweenking 2 роки тому +1

      @@inesmoncao6631 thank you!

    • @Shadowsdeity
      @Shadowsdeity 2 роки тому +1

      I'd think so yeah. Sometimes all both the parties need, is a moment of silence. Then talk things through afterwards and mentioning that you needed a break.

  • @kimipark9177
    @kimipark9177 2 роки тому +1

    I realized I'm obsessed thanks to this video. That's why I was left behind. Need to learn how to love unselfishly.

    • @Psych2go
      @Psych2go  2 роки тому

      Glad this helps! What do you plan to do to change that? :)

  • @m.g.6394
    @m.g.6394 2 роки тому +5

    Love can be obsessive (infatuation or honey moon phase is obsessive) but true love is a slow thing that grows over time, and true love is relaxed and calm.
    Love is NOT:
    - overly anxious
    - overly clingy
    - overly controlling
    - suffocating
    Love is meant to be healthy

  • @khalilahd.
    @khalilahd. 2 роки тому +2

    Needed to hear this in middle school 😂😂

  • @TheCheeseTouch71
    @TheCheeseTouch71 2 роки тому +7

    ✨Its not love,its an obssession✨

    • @weirdwillowtree4087
      @weirdwillowtree4087 2 роки тому

      ✨it's not a mistake, its a masterpiece✨

    • @TheCheeseTouch71
      @TheCheeseTouch71 2 роки тому +1

      @sitiy "22" We don't do that here

    • @TheCheeseTouch71
      @TheCheeseTouch71 2 роки тому +1

      @@weirdwillowtree4087 Oh no I may have started something
      Your friends are gonna comment too loll

    • @cherrysprinkles1311
      @cherrysprinkles1311 2 роки тому

      @@TheCheeseTouch71 lmfao

    • @weirdwillowtree4087
      @weirdwillowtree4087 2 роки тому

      @@TheCheeseTouch71 nah its just me i dont have friends they are just my business partners :) don't worry about them!

  • @SamJoex
    @SamJoex 2 роки тому

    Ashamed to say I was guilty of a number of the less severe signs for a few years, and I continue to have episodes of cringing at myself even a few years after coming out of it.

  • @bejeweledloveribpswiftie
    @bejeweledloveribpswiftie 2 роки тому +3

    I've always felt a special bond connected to a guy that I liked, like a string attached to him that says "Yes, he's the one." and we aren't even dating yet, even when I wasn't in love with him, I still got that feeling, is my gut feeling right?

    • @bc.relationships
      @bc.relationships 2 роки тому

      If you feel a strong connection with this guy, then it might be worth exploring at some point!! Hard to say if "he's the one" since I don't know what your relationship with him looks like-- but if you feel like you can be yourself, he respects your boundaries / space / independence, his actions line up with his words-- then it could be a healthy relationship. Feelings are powerful, but relationships require so much more than our feelings!! My advice is to take things slow and be honest about how you're feeling :) rooting for you

  • @shreyasinha2956
    @shreyasinha2956 2 роки тому

    This channel is helping me become a better person

  • @yeller3956
    @yeller3956 2 роки тому

    Obsession is a hardship that no one should know. If you know someone obsessed with something or someone, shaming them for having this anxiety will only make them a worse person. Encourage they get help. Obsession is a very clingy demon.

  • @greatcitysportaction2289
    @greatcitysportaction2289 11 місяців тому

    Thank you for making this video. I find this video valuable because it was so helpful and useful as it can help me watch out for signs of obsession.
    I want to tell y’all a story about something happening relating to one of the signs shown in this video.
    During my junior year of high school on January 10th, 2022 when I was talking with my friends during the passing period between 3rd and 4th period, there was a group of 4 girls in my grade who were just demanding my attention when I didn’t want to talk to them as I was talking to my friends. When the 4 girls were demanding my attention, they were showing signs of extremely controlling behavior by begging me to spend time with them, trying to decide which friends I am allowed to hang out with and then trying to block out the friends I was hanging out with.
    After I got done talking with my friends, I was going to class and the group of girls that were demanding my attention and showing signs of aggressive controlling behavior were demanding my attention again. When they did while I was going to class, it felt like they were showing signs of extremely controlling behavior because it felt like they were attempting to convince me that they were the only ones I desired but they weren't, so I ignored them and went straight to class. The reason the girls who were demanding my attention weren't the ones I desired was that I didn't feel comfortable hanging out with them.
    I used to be friends with them but after they were disrespectfully demanding my attention, I am no longer friends with those 4 girls.
    I am sorry this comment is long, it’s because everything I’ve mentioned in my story is what I wanted to talk about.

  • @rikastemmet8849
    @rikastemmet8849 Рік тому +1

    Awesome video good Job I in joy it thanks for the video I Love it have a good day and Night ❤👌👍

  • @rosylagoon3600
    @rosylagoon3600 2 роки тому +1

    Threatened by independence? ✅
    Boundaries are ignored? ✅
    Extremely controlling behavior? ✅
    Not engaging in other activities? ❌
    Blocking out others? ✅
    Moving too fast in the relationship? ✅
    Demanding constant contact? ✅
    Tracking without consent? ✅
    *yeah guys I think something was up. We weren’t even dating. I knew him for two weeks when he confessed his love.*

  • @blueember5991
    @blueember5991 2 роки тому +1

    This is exactly like my mom... She's very emotionality dependent on me and doesn't want me to leave the house or visit friends and also very good at guilt tripping me if I don't spend every second with her.